39 HEAL DEAL

“Hi Alex, this is Sean”

Timidly, “Hi Sean.”

“Logan’s parents agreed to a meeting tonight.”

“OK.”

“You really don’t wanna do this, do you.”

“I do, but, well you know.”

“There’s one stipulation.”

“What do you mean?”

“They don’t want any touching between you and Logan, not even a handshake.”

“Sounds good.”

“Oh? OK, enough said.”

… Everyone feels uncomfortable with the meeting, yet each realize how important it is. When Alex and Sean arrive, Logan’s parents physically tremble but welcome them warmly.

Sadly, “Hi, Alex, I’m sorry.”

“Logan, you didn’t do anything to me. I’m sorry.”

Totally contrite, “I ruined everything. You didn’t do anything.”

“I pushed you to perform.”

“Oh, OK…. I went to a psychiatrist.”

“Really!”

“He’s actually nice. I can talk about stuff that I can’t talk about with anybody else.”

“Oh, Sean helps me.”

“He wants you to come with me one time.”

“Ya think.”

“Alex, I miss you so much.”

“Me too.” Fighting tears, “But I’m really mad at you. I don’t even know what you did. I don’t wanna know.”

“I’m mad at me too. I wanna die. Just zap me.”

“Logan, don’t say that!”

“But I mean it. The shrink says he has helped every person that came to him with performance anxiety. That helps me keep going.” His parents’ eyes bulge out with these words, but remain silent.

Alex asks, “What’s performance anxiety?”

Logan’s eyes light up briefly, “You know.”

Alex smiles, “Oh.”

Suddenly Logan bursts into tears, “I tried to rape Jeff!”

Even though Alex had imagined worse, this shocks him, “Ouch.”

“Yeah, big ouch. I hate myself. I’m just glad Jeff is taking it so well.”

“He’s not. He’s really struggling.”

Logan’s convinced, “No, he’s not.”

Alex says nothing but his eyes scream, “Yes he is, stupid!”

Logan screams, “I hate myself,” crying uncontrollably.

Sean walks over to Logan, sits beside him, placing a hand on Logan’s shoulder, “Jeff swings between hating you and hurting bad.” It will take some time to get through all the emotions. But he will get better and become a stronger person than before. And so will you.”

“I don’t think so. I only see darkness and gloom.”

Sean says, “Today you only see darkness.”

“I’m afraid to go out and play. I don’t want anyone to see me.”

“That’s so sad. Next baseball season, I plan to pick you on my team. So I expect you to be ready.”

Logan smiles and cries at the same time, “I’m a good pitcher, you know.”

“Yes, I know. I need you.” Sean’s words and actions shock Logan’s parents. They don’t want Logan playing with Jeff and Alex anymore. But they see hope coming back to Logan, making them so appreciative. They begin to see that they have actually encouraged Logan to give up on life.

Alex asks, “Can I come over and play with Logan sometime?”

Logan’s parents react with horror that passes. They look at each other and nod. Logan screams, “Alright!”

Then Logan’s father shakes Sean’s hand, “Thank you so much! We’re going into the kitchen so the boys can hug goodbye if they wish.”

This surprises everyone. Logan looks timidly at Alex. Alex comes sit beside Logan. “You’re gonna make it pal!” They hug, then stand up to hug completely. Alex then kisses Logan on the cheek. Logan’s face lights up. “Logan, I’m still mad at you…. But I love you so much.”

With happy tears in his eyes, “Alex, I can’t love anyone right now. I’m so numb. But I’m gonna get better for you.”

40 CLEAN SCENE

“Dad, I’m getting so horny, I’m going crazy.”

“That’s simple, Jeff. Just jerk off.”

“I don’t even touch myself when I go to the bathroom anymore.”

“Oh, I see.”

“I love Maria, but I have absolutely no sexual interest in her anymore.”

“That will keep you out of trouble.”

“Shut up! … Sean, I’m sorry…. I don’t have any sexual interest in anyone anymore.”

With empathy, “This isn’t easy.”

“No. I feel so dirty. Will you wash me?

“Are you ready?”

“I think so.” Jeff goes to put on his oversized bathing suit and steps into the shower.

“Jeff, may I go naked?”

“Yeah.”

Jeff stands passively as Sean shampoos his hair, then washes him down to his waist. “Jeff, do I take your bathing suit off or do you?”

“You, please.”

Sean gets on his knees and looks up into Jeff’s eyes as he slowly pulls the garment off. “Step over your bathing suit, son, so I can start with your feet.” Jeff complies. When Sean gets to the top of his legs, “Please move your legs apart so I can wash your testicles … on to your penis … and your stomach … now turn around for you buttocks … and now for the most important cleansing, your crack.”

Jeff trembles.

“I’ll wait.”

After a moment, Jeff says, “OK, clean me real good.”

Sean does so tenderly, yet thoroughly.

“OK, wash my crack again.”

Sean cries as he does.

“OK, one more time.”

Sean kisses Jeff’s back cheeks first. When he finishes washing and rinsing out the suds, he turns Jeff around, hugs him, stands up and hugs him again. “Now you hug me.”

With happy tears flowing, he hugs Sean gently.

“Stand here, Mr. Clean. I’ll be right back.” Sean comes back with a photo of Maria and says, “I’m leaving so you can take care of business.”

“I need to pee first. Will you go with me?”

“For sure.”

Please hold my pee pee.”

Instead, Sean takes Jeff’s hand, kisses it, and places it on his penis.

Jeff requests, “Please keep your hand on mine.”

“Sure thing.”

After successfully relieving himself, “Thanks Sean. Your turn.”

“I don’t have to go though.”

“Just pretend.”

“Will do.”

Jeff watches intently. then smiles with renewed energy, “Thanks, Sean.”

“Here’s Maria’s picture.”

“Thanks. I’m ready now. I’ll be OK.”

41 BRIGHT LIGHT

Jeff comes downstairs, still naked, smiling radiantly. Sean lights up with delight, “I guess I can have my bathing suit back.”

Jeff chuckles, “Yeah, I’m going naked all day!”

“Oh, that’s too bad. I thought you might want to spend the day at the Birch Aquarium.”

“Alright! Can Maria come too?”

“Sounds good to me.”

Jeff quickly works out the planning. Then he approaches Sean, “Dad, if I had tried to like Logan the way he liked me, I don’t think he would have tried to force sex on me.”

“Trying to like someone shows strength of character. But trying to have sexual feelings for someone, Jeff, well, that’s like trying to rape yourself.”

“Don’t say that word…. OK, that makes sense. Just don’t say that word.”

“Jeff, I should have known. Sorry. Let’s get going now.”

“Yes!”

… Maria’s not ready when they pick her up. While chatting with Sonya, Jeff anxiously requests, “Maria, shake a leg…. Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just eager.”

Soon they arrive. Jeff notes, “We have time to see the tide pools before the Scripps divers start.” … Jeff picks up a sea cucumber and hands it to Maria.

“No, Jeff. You hold it. I’ll just touch it a little.” Maria notices how at ease Jeff is today. This helps her enjoy nature’s wonders. “Look at the two-spot octopus.”

Jeff gets all cozy with it, “Maria, to bad you’re not an octopus. Then we really could cuddle.”

Maria slaps his butt smiling. “Then when you tell me to ‘shake a leg,’ it’d take ten minutes just to decide which one…. No Jeff. Don’t do it,” as Jeff picks up a hermit crab.

Soon Sean suggests they head for the kelp forest. They arrive just as the divers plunge into the water. Jeff interacts tenderly with Maria as he soaks up everything. They ask Sean a ton of questions too. Next they head to the shark reef exhibit. Sean asks, “Where’s your bathing suit, Jeff?

“What for?”

“Aren’t you gonna swim with the sharks?”

“Yeah right!” Then he smiles, “Who needs a bathing suit.”

Maria chimes in, “Do it my mermaid man.”

… When leaving the exhibit, Jeff says, “I’m hungry.”

Maria smiles, “Too late now. You didn’t go in with the sharks.”

Jeff barks.

Sean adds, “We’ll just go back to the kelp forest.”

“Barf!”

Maria teases, “So you’re squeamish about something after all!”

… After wolfing down a hot dog, Jeff’s ready for bigger and better things. He and Maria eventually wear Sean out. “Your moms must be worried sick about you. It’s really late.”

“We still have to do Mars Mayhem.”

“OK, Jeff. That’s all then, right?”

“I guess so. Otherwise I’ll be driving YOU home.”

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