Autobiography of a Rapist – Chapter 1
Introduction:
The protagonist, Johnny, tells how his life as a rapist got started
[The Beginning]
Johnny’s my name and this is my story. Rape was a part of my psyche from the very beginning. Its been over 40 years since I started down this road, and although my other memories of that time are fuzzy, my first experiences with rape are still vivid in my mind.
I guess it started an early age, maybe 8 or 9, when I found a big bunch of BDSM mags back in the woods. Although I doubt I totally understood what was going in the pictures, my first sexual memories were of jacking off to women being tied up, whipped and abused. During class I would daydream about keeping the girl sitting next to me tied up naked in my closet and the things I would do to her when I got home from school.
It was early ’70s and porn was was starting to loosen up and become more extreme and my own tastes were following along as I grew up. I was pretty much able to get any sort of porn I wanted as the guy that owned and ran the local porn store had a thing for me. I “affectionally” referred to him the Old Fag. We first met when he caught me dumpster diving behind his shop, looking for some more porn. I was surprised when he did not turn me in to the police, but rather made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.
The deal went like this. I would head over in the afternoon after school and meet him at the back door. We would head down to the basement and I would browse through the new stock for something I had not already seen. We would both get undressed and I would sit in a chair and jack off to the pictures, while the old fag jacked off watching me do this. He never touched me, until one day I was feeling particularly horny and ordered him to suck my cock like he was one of the whores in the magazine I was reading. I started to urged him on with various entreaties like “Suck it, bitch”, “Swallow it, whore” and so on. This excited my benefactor even more and I usually scored a bonus mag or two if I came in to his mouth.
The old fag also owned the porn movie theater next door and I could watch the movies from the projection booth. The old fag knew I liked the rough stuff and to keep me coming by as often as possible, made it a point to order all of the roughies that were becoming available then. I would make him get down on his knees and I would face-fuck him with my pencil-like hard-on while I imagined I was doing what Jamie Gillis was doing to some some cunt on the screen.
Although I am primarily hetero today (I’ve been known to rape the occasional young boy when the opportunity arises), I was enough of a budding sex addict that I would do anything to get my hands on fresh porn. By the time I was 11 I had a collection of over a 100 glossy mags featuring the rape, degradation and abuse of women which I could use to further fuel my fantasies.
Although I was certainly getting my rocks off, doing it to some creepy old guy (He must have been well over 30) did not really do it for me. Finally in 7th grade my urges took over and I decided to act on my fantasies in real life with real girls.
[Training Ground]
I had a routine all worked out. Early that spring, I started to hang out near a secluded park trail that lead between a shopping center and a nearby girls-only Catholic Elementary/Junior high school. I picked the spot because I figured the girls there would not know me and there was something about the uniforms that made me want to abuse them even more. I scouted out a hiding spot where I would be able to see and hear each victim coming from enough of a distance to see if she was suitable and alone. At this age, I was still too scared to actually drop my pants and try any penetration. Instead, I decided that for the first few times my goal was to get a bit of groping and humping in and score the girl’s panties.
The first few days I hung out I drew a blank. Lots of girls going through, but usually in groups of 3 or 4. Finally, just as I was about to give up on my third day I saw my target. I am guessing she had just got out of some activity and was heading to meet her friends. She was just under 5′ tall and a bit pudgy, was wearing coke-bottle glasses and had braces that showed up from quite a distance. Her hair was long and brown, and tied in pigtails. The plaid skirt she was wearing came to just above her knees and she was wearing a prim white blouse. I am guessing she was in 5th or 6th grade. She was walking with her eyes cast downward with a frown on her face. Bit of a dog actually and nowhere near as beautiful as the girls in my porn mags, but I didn’t care. I was ready to go.
I walked down the trail toward her and timed my pace to meet up with her at a particular spot I had picked out. I stopped at the chosen spot, blocking her path. Usually I was shy with girls in normal social situations, but today she was just a bitch to me, someone there only for my pleasure.
“Beautiful day today, isn’t it”, I said as she walked up to me and looked up at me. I was about 5 or 6 inches taller than her and had on a grubby T-shirt and shorts. I stood just inches away from her.
“Yeah, I guess,” she replied quietly, backing away a few steps to get more personal space. As she did so, I advanced with her step by step, keeping the distance close. She crossed her arms across her chest and looked back down at her feet. I reached out and stroked her upper arm in a familiar way.
“I could sure use a bit of company on a day like today. Maybe we can be friends,” I said as I sidled up beside her and put my arm around her shoulder like we were good buddies while at the same time steering her toward my chosen spot off the trail. Sliding my arm down to her waist, I gave her a hung. “Really good friends,” I said as I finally reached down to squeeze her young ass through the skirt of her school uniform. The thrill of touching her in forbidden places started my 12-year old cock stirring.
“Leave me alone,” she squealed as she finally figured out that I was up to no good. She slapped my hand away from her ass and made to head back down the trail. “Oh, come on. Lets have a little fun.” I grabbed her arm to halt her departure and pulled her young body tight up against mine. My young cock was getting hard fast and I thrust my pelvis against her to stimulate it even more.
“Stop it you pervert,” she yelled as the struggle started in ernest. I had been working out diligently, getting ready for this day and I had no problem keeping her in my grasp as she squirmed to get away. I grabbed her by the hair on the back of her head with one hand and shoved my mouth over hers, and like I had seen in the movies, forced my tongue deep within her mouth till I could taste the metallic tang of her braces and the funk of their rubber bands. I pushed my spit into her mouth to intensify the violation. Sliding the other hand down behind her, I quickly raising the hem of her skirt and kneaded her ass roughly through her panties. As I continued to hump my raging hard-on against her, I was becoming increasingly aroused and out of control.
For a least a few seconds her only protestation to this treatment was to squeal a bit and struggle to push me away. A some point, she apparently decided that the situation was serious and started to make more noise. I quickly clamped my hand across her mouth to stifle it and moved to the next part of the assault. With one hand across her mouth and the other holding one of her arms in a hammerlock, I shuffled her off a few dozen feet to a my chosen spot. Although it was not sound proof, it did block the view and I had scoped out the escape routes ahead of time.
As we arrived, I tripped the young girl with one leg and pushed her hard face-first down into a nearby pile of leaves I had assembled. This briefly knocked the air out of her and stopped her protestations for a bit. “Make any more noise and I’ll beat the shit out of you, bitch,” I threatened as I kneeled over her. To make the point, I pulled her arm hard in to a painful hammerlock again and boxed the side of her head with my open hand. “No please, stop it. You’re hurting me,” she sobbed as I increased the pressue.
Pinioning her knees between my legs and securing the hammer lock, I pulled her skirt all the way up, exposing her panties. My first goal was to score my trophy. As I pulled her cotton undies down she struggled to prevent further exposure, grabbing at them with her free hand and spreading her legs to stop me. I found that by slipping my hand into her panties and probing her cunt I could cause her to clamp her legs back together. Doing this, I temporarily released the hammerlock and quickly slipped the panties past her knees, then ankles and shoved the trophy in to my back pocket.
At this point her her plump ass and thighs were totally exposed to my gaze and I probed and pinched at them greedily and roughly probed between her legs far enough to feel her hairless pubic mound. I slapped her ass hard a few times, my fingers leaving red marks on her plump orbs. She squealed and sobbed a bit each time I whacked her.
I did not have time to enjoy this too much as she started to work up a scream despite my threats. Throwing my body on top of hers and I again clamped my hand over her mouth. With her body immobilized under mine and the screams mostly stifled, I thought I had enough control of the situation to continue for at least a bit.
I resumed dry humping her naked ass, the bulge in my shorts from my 12-year old cock sliding up and down between her ass cheeks. I reached around with my free hand and shoved it between her and the ground to unbuttoned her blouse. Although her tits were mere nubs, she had started to wear a training bra. I pushed it aside and started to pinch and grope her soft little mounds as hard as I could. Each pinch caused her to buck beneath me and she sobbed through the hand clamped over her mouth. The struggling and sobbing of the little cunt beneath me turned me on greatly, and I came quickly as I ground against her ass. As soon as the buzz from my climax ended I high tailed it out of there as quickly as possible, leaving her crying and half-naked in the leaves.
I spent the next few weeks immobilized in the fear that she would report the attack and I would be caught. That, however, did not stop me from jacking off each night into the captured panties as I relived my memory of the girl’s violation. After the third week of nothing happening I began to wonder if I got away with it. I went back to the scene of the attack. No increased police patrols or warning signs or anything like that. If anything the number of likely victims was increasing due to the warmer weather. Having gotten away with it one time the urges made it impossible to stop and I continued my violations, claiming a new victim every three for four weeks.
I tended to follow the same script for each girl. I gathered experience I found that threatening them a bit with physical violence early in the attack, followed with a few slaps to the face or a twisted arm tended to make them sufficiently docile. I also found that a rag stuffed in to their mouths muffled the worst of the screams. I kept what I called my “rape rag” in my back pocket to stuff down the girls mouth after I had tongue-raped her mouth.
Two of the girls were quite young, totally fat chested and not yet wearing their first bra. Being young myself, I did not yet fully appreciate and savor a young body and was disappointed in the lack of real tits to grope. In these cases I took out this disappointment on on the little slut by spanking her ass as hard as I could before I started to dry hump her.
A few of the girls had some pretty nice tits for their age. After I had liberated each girl of her panties, I flipped her over so I could enjoy the view. After a bit of struggle to get the blouse open and the bra pushed up and out of the way, I would pinion their arms behind their backs and suck and bite at their nipples while dry-humping their sparsely-haired young pussies.
I continued the attacks during the rest of the spring, and even in to summer as the Catholic school had an active summer program. By the time it got too cold in the fall for such action I had quite a collection of trophies. I am guessing that I got away with it because the shame of talking about the violation prevented the girls’ tendency to report an attacks that did not actually involve rape. I would find out later from a fellow rapist that the priests there had also been taking advantage of their charges. (More on this in a future chapter.) Perhaps they were resigned to such abuse as their lot in life.
As I look back at my collection, I am amazed at how small the garments are. Several are decorated with little pink hearts, kittens and cartoon figures from that era. Things were a bit more trusting in those days and although I still relish the young ones, modern paranoia and my advanced age have made access more difficult.
I finally stopped working that beat when I had a few experiences with girls who had a bit more fight. I was tired of the flat-chested girls and had tried a few older ones with bigger tits. Problem was, bigger meant stronger, and I almost lost control of the situation a few time, picking up a bruise or bite mark of my own. If this were to continue I would need some help.
To be continued…
