Forgiveness

This is also set in the 1960’s so some of the language would be not be used today, but it was the way many people actually spoke in those days.

If after all those warnings, you decide to read this and the story makes you uncomfortable, please don’t stop in the middle. Many of the discomforting threads resolve themselves in the end. Things aren’t always what they seem.

This story is longer than what I usually post (11K words), but there is no way to separate the chapters into individual segments without leaving the story hanging in the wrong way. All five chapters are in this one, long post.

I don’t know where this story came from. There is nothing I can point to as a basis or inspiration for the plot or characters. Obviously, everybody is over 18 and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is strictly coincidental.

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WARNING! All of my writing is intended for adults over the age of 18 ONLY. Stories may contain strong or even extreme sexual content. All people and events depicted are fictional and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Actions, situations, and responses are fictional ONLY and should not be attempted in real life.

If you are under the age or 18 or do not understand the difference between fantasy and reality or if you reside in any state, province, nation, or tribal territory that prohibits the reading of acts depicted in these stories, please stop reading immediately and move to somewhere that exists in the twenty-first century.

Archiving and reposting of this story is permitted, but only if acknowledgment of copyright and statement of limitation of use is included with the article. This story is copyright (c) 2015 by The Technician.

Individual readers may archive and/or print single copies of this story for personal, non-commercial use. Production of multiple copies of this story on paper, disk, or other fixed format is expressly forbidden.
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CHAPTER ONE OF FIVE

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[em]“Baby Brother” tags along with big brother and three of his friends on the wrong night – or perhaps the right night. A chain of events ends with the five of them gang-banging a young black girl on a closed trail in the park late at night.[/em]
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I am approaching the end of my earthly travels. Everyone who could possibly be affected by the release of this story is dead, as I soon will be. It is time to tell the whole story so that everyone will know the truth about the events which changed and shaped my life. I am leaving this with a friend to post when the time comes. Some people may think they recognize the cities or the names, but be assured that I have changed so much that your guesses will not be correct.

It was 1959 when it happened– or perhaps I should say, when it began. I had just turned eighteen, but I was a very, very young eighteen. Almost all of the boys my age were already shaving daily. All at least had a full thatch of hair between their legs. My twin brother, Tony, had a thick black mustache. The closest I had to a mustache was a thin wisp of hair across my pubic bone just above my penis. I think it goes without saying that I was also a virgin.

Even though we were born at the same time, Tony and I technically weren’t twins. I was what was called a superfoetation sibling. Mom evidently had another cycle after she got pregnant with Tony and I was conceived a month– or maybe two– later. Only one child was expected– there was no ultrasound in those days. Twins were a big surprise for both my mom and the doctors in the delivery room.

I was born first and the doctors assumed both of us were premature, so they rushed me to premie intensive care and reserved an area for the second twin. When Tony came out fully developed at eight and a half pounds it totally stumped everyone.

I was always small and way behind other kids in my class even though, because of health problems, I ended up starting school two years later than Tony. I was at least a year older than almost all of the kids in my class, but I was still smaller than any of them. That made me an easy target for bullying and teasing. Tony, on the other hand, was always one of the biggest– if not the biggest– kid in his class. Everyone not only left him alone, they avoided him whenever they could.

My sophomore year of high school the teasing got really bad. It was obvious that I wasn’t as “mature” as most of the other kids in my class, so some of the boys in my gym class started making fun of me in the shower and calling me a fag. It would have been a lot worse except for two things. One, some of the kids in the class weren’t fully through puberty either, and two, my big brother Tony would have beaten the crap out of anyone who really hurt me.

I liked to think that he was being a loving, protective, big brother– and maybe that was part of it, but mostly he thought that making fun of me and making me cry was his exclusive privilege. He always called me “Baby Brother,” and I could tell that he loved the way it made me feel uncomfortable or even turn red when he did so in front of my classmates.

Then everything changed forever.

It was the summer after Tony graduated. He and three of his friends were going down to the park to watch a night baseball game. Baseball was a really big thing in my home town, but I guess it was in any small, Midwestern town in those days. A team from “the city”– that’s what everyone called the nearby big town– was playing one of our local favorite teams, so a lot of people would be there. Tony and Rocky and Chuck and Dave weren’t all that interested in baseball, but our town was your basic white suburb kind of place and the team from “the city” was mostly black. What Tony really wanted to do was cause trouble and make sure that “those colored boys know that they ain’t really welcome here.”

I wanted to see the game and so I decided to tag along. For some reason Tony let me. In fact it was almost as if he had expected me to go with them that night. Often he would object or threaten me if I said I wanted to come with them and Mom would have to tell him to take me along, but this night he just said, “OK, Baby Brother, you are coming with us tonight. Maybe you will learn something special that will change your life.”

Little did I know how true that would be.

The game was actually pretty boring unless you liked watching very good pitchers strike out very mediocre batters. Tony and his friends spent most of the game drinking the beer that Rocky had gotten from somewhere and yelling insults at anyone who looked like they might be from the city. Once or twice I thought we were going to get into a fight, but the other people just moved aside or walked away shaking their heads. I heard one man mutter, “They’re the kind that give rednecks everywhere a bad name.”

When the game was over we had just started walking back to the car when Chuck said, “Let’s take the shortcut.” There is an area of woods, a couple of hills, and a creek between the ball diamonds and the parking lot. Your choices are to walk around along the main park road or go through the woods and over the hill. Rocky said, “Footbridge is out. Ice jam pushed it off the foundations this spring and they haven’t rebuilt it yet.” To which Dave replied, “Yeah, but you can step across on the telephone pole pilings.” So, we cut towards the woods and the shortcut path between the ball diamonds and the parking lot.

The lights that normally lit the path were off and there was a sign that said, “Path Closed.” But the sign had been knocked over and was laying flat on the ground. As we passed the sign, Tony said, “Baby Brother, why don’t you put that sign back in place so no one accidently tries to cross through here.” That was uncharacteristically thoughtful of Tony, but I did as he said and put the little barricade with its sign back in the middle of the path.

We were almost down to where the footbridge crosses over the creek when we saw someone walking towards us. She looked to be a little smaller than me. I knew it was a girl because she was wearing low heels and a very short dress. I knew she was from the city because even in the dim light I could tell that she was almost ebony black. Evidently she had taken the path last summer, and was surprised by the fact that the footbridge was out this year. She was probably walking back up to the diamond to take the main sidewalk out the long way to the parking lot.

“Looks like we found ourselves a n*gra whore, boys,” said Tony. The girl’s eyes opened very wide and she turned and started walking rapidly back down the path. Chuck and Rocky broke into a run and caught her just as she got to the little clearing at the bottom of the hill. I heard one of them say to her, “Hey, black cunt, where are you going in such a hurry?”

Tony and Dave and I came running up and Tony said, “I think she wants to have some fun. Baby Brother, this is your night to become a man.”

I looked at him and he could see that I didn’t know what he meant. “Baby Brother, this girl here is going to take you around the world – mouth, ass, cunt. After tonight, you will know what it’s all about. Now get naked.”

I just stood there until Tony pushed me in the center of the chest. “I said, get naked. You too, cunt… unless you want this to get really rough.”

The girl stepped out of her shoes and lifted her dress over her head. She didn’t wear a bra and was wearing tiny purple panties. She slipped them down her body and stood there naked. The dim light of the night made it looked like her black skin was oiled. She had no hair at all on her body. I didn’t know if that meant she was that young or that she shaved. Her face didn’t look young, so most likely she was just small, like me. I really didn’t know because before that I had never, ever seen a live, naked girl.

“What are you waiting for?” Tony snarled at me. “We are letting you go first, but we all want a piece of this cunt tonight, too. So, get busy.”

I kicked off my sandals and took off my shirt and jeans and underwear. As I stood there naked, Rocky said, “Jeez, Tony, he’s a baby. Do you think he can even get it up?”

Tony grabbed the girl by the arm and pushed her in front of me. “First stop, France. Let’s see how fast you can make him pop, cunt.” He then pushed her to her knees in front of me and said, “Don’t tell me you have never sucked a white cock before!”

The girl just bowed her head and sagged her shoulders and reached forward to kiss my penis. For some reason I wasn’t hard. I guess I still didn’t believe this was happening until her lips closed over my cock.

“You can do better than that,” growled Tony. I thought he was talking to her until he grabbed my shoulder and turned me slightly so he could yell in my face, “Don’t embarrass me tonight, Baby Brother, or you will regret it the rest of your life.”

“You’re scaring him,” the girl said suddenly and I realized that what little erection I had was deflated.

“No, you’re just not trying hard enough,” he yelled back. “I’m going to give you some incentive.”

With that Tony pushed down on my shoulders and said, “Lay on your back with your legs spread and let her get to work.” I did and then he pushed the black girl’s head down over me so that she was between my legs on all fours with her ass in the air and her head in my crotch.

Tony pulled the belt from his pants. “Listen, little n*gra cunt,” he yelled at her, “me and my friends are going to whip your ass until you can show us his cum dripping from your mouth.” With that he and Chuck and Dave started swinging their belts and whipping her as she tried desperately to make me cum.

“And if you can’t do it, little brother, we are going to flip you over and whip your ass while you suck on our cocks.” I didn’t think that threats could make you have an orgasm, but seconds later I came in the girl’s mouth.

“After France comes Greece, Baby Brother. Let’s see if you are any better working on her other end.” He then poked the girl with his shoe and said, “You know the position cunt. Let’s see that black eye winking at us.” I got to my knees and she turned her butt to me and pushed toward me. I thought it would be hard to enter her, but I slid in fairly easily.

Then I heard her say with contempt, “Shit, he must be smaller than my little brother and he’s only seven.”

Tony answered her, “No smart ass from you cunt, just fuck ass. And to keep you quiet, we are going to put your mouth to use until you get him off.”

With that Tony pulled his cock out of his jeans and stuffed it in her mouth. I tried, but again nothing seemed to be happening. I guess you have to have time between shoots even when you are eighteen, and I couldn’t get myself to cum. I was barely stiff.

Chuck had taken Tony’s place in her mouth and Rocky and Dave were standing behind me. “You know,” Rocky said, “his ass looks almost as appealing as hers. If he doesn’t finish soon, I just might make myself a sandwich.”

I heard Tony’s voice from beside me, “Don’t you go fucking my brother in the ass unless I tell you to, but with the way things are going, it’s looking like he’s not worth much more than that. Maybe he’s just a sissy boy that’s not good for anything but ass fucking.”

Fear worked again and suddenly I was able to cum. Almost as soon as I had finished, Tony pulled me off the girl and said, “You don’t deserve the final stop. Leave fucking a woman’s cunt to a man. You just stand over there until we are finished.”

What else could I do? I did just like he told me to and stood there while the four of them fucked her in the mouth, the cunt and the ass for well over another hour. When they were finished, she was curled up on the grass, crying.

Tony came over to me and said, “You disgust me. I thought I had a baby brother that if I treated right would become a man. Maybe I should have treated you like a baby sister. Get dressed.”

I reached down to pick up my jeans and underwear when Tony said, “No, wait a minute. Wear these, they will probably fit you anyway.”

He threw me the panties and dress that the girl had been wearing. I stood there holding them until he added, “Put them on or we throw you down on the grass and take you around the world like we did her. Shit, you probably have a cunt hiding under there somewhere.”

I started crying quietly, but I put on the panties and the dress. They actually did fit me. Her shoes even fit, though I wasn’t used to the lift of the heels. Tony picked up my jeans and took my billfold out of them and put it in his pocket. “We’ll leave these so she has something to wear to sneak home. He then threw the clothes and a hand full of bills down on the crying girl. “For your services. Not bad for a black cunt. Not a big league whore, but who knows, maybe you will learn to be a pro someday.”

Then Tony pushed me down the path toward the parking lot. I was scared that somebody would see me in the dress, but there wasn’t much I could do about it. Luckily, there was no one around when I hopped across the poles where the bridge used to be because the dress rode up and showed the purple panties.

When we came out of the woods, there were only two cars in the parking lot. One was Tony’s. The other, a beat up, older model, probably belonged to the girl we had left in the woods. I ran across the lot to Tony’s car hoping to jump in before anyone saw me, but I heard Tony’s low laugh just as I got there. The car was locked!

I was forced to stand there by the car while Tony and his friends sauntered slowly across the lot. Tony used his key to open the front doors and reached around to open the back door on the opposite side from where I was standing. I was afraid that they were going to leave me standing there in the parking lot until Rocky came up along side me and told me to get in the middle. I heard Dave unlock the door and I jumped in as fast as I could.

Tony drove all over town with me cowering in the back seat between Rocky and Dave. Chuck kept laughing at my discomfort from the front seat as Rocky and Dave ran their hands up and down my bare legs. Tony even went through the drive through for some hamburgers.

I know that people could see me, but no one seemed to notice that I was wearing a dress, or maybe they thought I really was a girl. We drove around for an hour or so and by the time we got home, I had decided “The hell with it.” I just walked from the street to the house.

Mom and Dad were watching TV and didn’t turn around as I walked past the archway to the living room. “Did you have fun at the game?” Mom asked.

“I don’t think he will ever forget it,” answered Tony as I went up the stairs to my bedroom.

As I closed the door to my bedroom I could suddenly see myself in the long mirror on the back of the door. I was shocked. I did look like a girl in the dress. Suddenly, I was hard once again and lay back on my bed and lifted up my dress and stuck my hands inside my panties and began jerking off. I came even stronger than I had with the girl in the park and fell asleep with my hands still in my panties.

It wasn’t until the next morning when I woke up still in the dress and panties that I suddenly realized what we had done. My brother and his friends… and I… had raped a girl!

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END OF CHAPTER ONE OF FIVE
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CHAPTER TWO OF FIVE

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[em] This chapter is primarily transition from the original event to the time of retribution. You can skip it and still follow the story if you want, but it is helpful in order to understand all of chapters 3,4,&5.[/em]
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I didn’t come out of my room at all the next day. I kept looking out the window of my bedroom waiting for a police car to drive up to take us away… but nobody came. There was nothing in the papers that night or the next or the next and it seemed that all was forgotten. But that was not to be.

The long arm of the law may not have been reaching for us, but fate or Karma or the wrath of God or whatever you want to call it seemed hellbent on revenge for what we did. A few days later, around midnight, a state police car pulled up to the house and two officers came to the door.

I dressed in a real hurry and ran down the steps in time to hear one officer ask, “Does your son own a dark blue sedan with the license plate “TNYSRDE?”

With a very shaky voice, Mom answered “Yes,” and the officer continued. “Is your son home tonight?”

Mom’s eyes were wide with fear as she struggled to say something, but just then Tony came down the steps and said, “That sounds like my ride. Is something wrong?”

Both officers looked surprised and shocked as they looked down at their notes and back up at Tony. The older officer asked, “Did you loan your vehicle to anyone tonight?”

“Yeah,” he answered, “Chuck and Dave said they needed wheels for the night and I told them that as long as they paid for the gas and didn’t scratch the paint, they could use it.”

I heard one officer telling the other, “That would correspond to the IDs that we found at the scene. The first names were Charles and David.” He then turned to Tony and said, “I am sorry to inform you that your friends were evidently involved in a serious accident.”

“How serious?” asked Tony and the officer replied, “They hit the center support for the underpass where Countyline Road goes under the interstate. They both probably died on impact, but it didn’t matter. The first witnesses on the scene said the car was totally engulfed in flames, and they couldn’t get anyone out. Both bodies are pretty badly burned so we weren’t really sure who was in the vehicle. We started here because the vehicle is registered to you, but it sounds like the two fatalities are your friends Chuck and Dave. I am very sorry about your friends. What is left of your vehicle was towed to the police impound lot until our investigation is finished.”

Mom breathed a sigh of relief that her worst fears were not realized. But the wrath of God was not finished. It was exactly one week later when another State Police car stopped in front of the house. This time there was a State Police office and a plain clothes detective. And this time mom’s fears were realized. “I am afraid to inform you that your son, Tony, was involved in a disturbance downtown this afternoon. He and his friend, Rocky, were killed. Detective Brooks thinks it might have been a drug buy gone bad, but I think that Tony and Rocky were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. They had a lot of cash on them and Tony had several ads for used cars in his pocket. I think they were there looking for a car when something happened. It’s a pretty bad neighborhood.”

“How did he die?” asked my mother.

“Rocky was stabbed by a local pimp known in the area as ‘Blue-eyes.’ Blue-eyes and your son were shot at close range by an unknown assailant. No one saw anything. No one knows anything. No one is saying anything. That’s the way it is down there in that area. I think that Blue-eyes stabbed Rocky for some reason, but I have no idea why. Maybe he was trying to rob them or maybe when the shooting started he thought Rocky was part of the setup. Like I said, wrong place, wrong time.”

We went down to the morgue later that night and viewed the body. Tony looked really strange laying there on the cart. It was almost like he was asleep. I kept expecting him to open his eyes and say to me, “I guess you’re next, Baby Brother. Get ready for it.”

I sort of fell apart after that. My grades at school got so bad that there was no way I was going to graduate, so I dropped out. I took a couple of dead-end jobs just to get enough money to drink and stay drunk and wait for the hand of death to ball itself into a fist and slam me into oblivion like it had Chuck and Dave and Rocky and Tony.

The school had sent me to some counselors who decided that I was over-reacting to my brother’s death and tried to help me with grief therapy. Maybe I should have told them about the rape, but I knew that would just put me in jail. After a couple of arrests for this and that I ended up with court-ordered counseling and group therapy that tried the same thing. They kept telling me “You have to let Tony go and move on with your life.”

Tony wasn’t my problem. In a way I was glad he was dead. The morning after the rape he had pulled me aside and said, “Don’t throw away your new outfit, Baby Brother. Some night when I strike out with the girls I might just have you dress up for me and see if you are as good a cocksucker as that black whore was. Hell, if you put on a little makeup, I might pop your brown cherry just to see what it feels like.”

And people thought that I was all torn up that he was dead and gone! My problem wasn’t that he was dead. My problem was that five of us had raped a young girl and four had died within ten days. Wasn’t it obvious who was next? Why plan for college or anything else? I was just keeping time until my day of justice finally came.

Then I went to the AA meeting in the city. Actually, the only reason I was there was that it was winter and I was on the street. The choice was to attend this meeting at the storefront mission or stay out on the street and freeze my ass. Not a hard choice really, but at the meeting I heard them talking about the twelve steps and that one of the steps was to make amends for past wrongs.

When I heard that, an idea began to form in my head. There was no way to un-rape that girl, but maybe if I went to her and explained that it wasn’t my idea and that my brother more or less forced me to do what I did to her, she might forgive me. I knew that what I did was wrong, but maybe, just maybe, she would forgive me and the hand of death would be held off for a while.

I stopped drinking and started trying to figure out how to make amends.

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END OF CHAPTER TWO OF FIVE
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CHAPTER THREE OF FIVE

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[em] The price of forgiveness can be very high. What would you be willing to do to be forgiven for something that had been bothering you since you were 18 years old.?[/em]
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I had decided that the only way to put my life back together was to find the girl that we had raped and tell her how sorry I was for what we did to her. But how do you find someone that you saw only once ten years ago and who evidently never reported anything to the police?

I got another low-level job as a night dishwasher at a local restaurant and more or less cleaned myself up. Then, after a couple of months, I went to see Detective Brooks. He is the one who had come to the house the night my brother, Tony, was killed. He was still a cop in the downtown precinct, so first thing one Monday morning, I took a bus downtown and told the desk officer that I wanted to talk to Detective Brooks to confess to a crime that I had committed. The officer gave me a very weary look and said, “Sit over there. Detective Brooks will be down to get you in a few minutes.”

A few minutes was actually almost an hour and a half, but eventually Detective Brooks came walking in and asked for me. When we got back upstairs to his desk he motioned me to sit down and asked, ‘So, what did you do?”

“I raped a girl.” I said. “Actually Tony, Rocky, Dave, Chuck, and I raped her.”

“Your brother’s been dead for over ten years, kid. When did this rape take place.” I told him the whole story, including how my brother had made me wear the girl’s dress home. I didn’t tell him about masturbating on my bed in that dress that night.

“So you want to beg forgiveness, do you? Or is it just that you know the statue of limitations on rape is seven years and you want to brag about what you did because I can’t prosecute you?”

“I just want forgiveness,” I replied. “I didn’t know there was a whatever of whatever on rape. I just want to tell her how sorry I am. Do you know anything about what happened? Do you know who this girl was?”

Detective Brooks laughed and shook his head, “You know, kid, this explains a lot that really didn’t fit together about the deaths of your brother and his friends. Yeah, I’ve got a good idea who this girl is, but she isn’t the poor, innocent, little victim you imagine her to be. Her name is Violet Lovejoy, better know as Little Violence. She was one of Blue-eye’s girls back then. Today she runs a very exclusive ‘escort service’ over on Aiken Alley. You can go talk to her, but the only way you are going to get forgiveness out of that ice bitch is if you pay for it. Now, get out of my office and go home and learn how to be a man…. or are you still just ‘Baby Brother’ like everyone called you back then?”

I looked up “escort services” and found “Violet’s Exclusive Escorts.” It didn’t give an address, but it did give a phone number and I called it. “I need to speak to Violet,” I explained to the young woman who answered the phone.

“Nobody speaks to Violet on the phone, honey. Too many electronic ears. You tell me what you need to say to her, and I can take care of you.”

“No, I have to speak to Violet. I need to ask her to forgive me for raping her in the park ten years ago.”

There was a long pause with voices in the background. The young woman then asked, “Is this Baby Brother?”

I answered, “Yes,” and she replied, “Just a moment.”

Seconds later, a different voice came on the line, “Come to 1137 Aiken Alley. Come alone, and don’t park your car near here. Park it at the big parking deck on Adams Street and walk up the hill. Be here tonight at 8:30 on the dot. This is your one chance to speak with me. If you ain’t here on time, you missed your one and only chance to find out what really happened to your brother and his three friends.”

I couldn’t eat at noon or in the evening. I was too nervous. It was only 7:00 o’clock when I parked my car in the parking deck. I walked around downtown for an hour or so, and a little before 8:30, I walked up to Aiken Alley. Technically it was Aiken Street, but it had been a home for houses of prostitution for so many decades that everyone referred to it by the name it had back when these streets were mud and horses pulled fine carriages up the hill to the “sporting houses” on Aiken Alley.

At exactly 8:30, I knocked on the door. A young black girl opened it, looked at me at said, “You must be Baby Brother. Follow me.”

She took me to the back of the house and up a long staircase that wound back on itself a couple of times. It felt like we must be on the fourth floor, but the house didn’t look that big from the street. We finally reached the top and the girl pressed a large button next to a strange-looking door. A few moments later, a buzzer sounded and the doorway– actually a section of the wall– popped open. The girl grabbed me by the arm. “This way Baby Brother,” she said and pushed me through the door. As soon as I was through the opening, I heard it close and lock behind me. The click sounded as loud as any jailhouse cell door that I had ever heard.

The room was very dim, but I could tell that there was a figure sitting at a small desk-like piece of furniture against one of the walls. “So, you are Baby Brother,” she said. “What brings you to me, and why shouldn’t I kill you like I did your big brother and his friends?”

My knees went weak and I almost fell to the floor. She had killed Tony… and Chuck and Dave and Rocky! “I didn’t want to do it that night,” I stammered out. “They made me do it, but that doesn’t change what I did. I am here to beg your forgiveness and try to make things right.”

“You want my forgiveness, do you Baby Brother? Forgiveness has a price. Like in the courts– reparation and punishment.” She intentionally pronounced it “rePARartion and PUNishment,” and then she smiled at me when I winced.

“I could have killed you at any time in the past ten years– you know that, Baby Brother? I let you live because I knew that you didn’t have the balls to rape me. Hell, you could barely even get it up. But forgive you? No way in hell. Unless you are willing to go through what I went through, you can go beg on the street corner for forgiveness, cause you sure as hell ain’t getting it from me!”

I tried to stand up as straight as I could and say as firmly as I could– actually I was barely standing and spoke in a quivering voice, “If that’s what it takes, I’ll do it. I’ll do anything to get your forgiveness.”

“You sure about that, Baby Brother? Your big brother and his friends put me through an awful lot back in that park. You willing to go through what I went through?”

I lowered my head even further and said, “Yes.”

“I’m not sure I heard you. If you really mean that, say it like you mean it, and call me ‘Ma’am’ when you do!”

I raised my head and spoke as loudly as I could, but it still came out almost a whisper, “Yes, ma’am, I am willing to go through what you went through in order to receive your forgiveness.”

“Then get naked!” she yelled.

I looked up at her, and she must have seen the look of shock in my eyes.

“The first thing that happened was they stripped me. Get naked! Now! Do it fast! Just let your clothes drop on the floor where you’re standing!”

I started taking off my clothes when suddenly I heard a loud “smack!” and felt the sharp pain of a belt across my buttocks. “Faster, white ass,” she yelled as stroke after stoke of a belt pounded my ass and thighs. Finally I was standing naked before her.

“Next time you come here, I want any hair below your neck gone. You got that?” Then she added with contempt in her voice, “Looks like it shouldn’t take much to remove what little fuzz you’ve got!”

I nodded weakly. “Yes ma’am, I will remove any hair below my neck.”

“Good, now come over here and give me pleasure with your mouth.” She sat down on a small ottoman, lifted her skirt and spread her legs. She was naked beneath the skirt.

I had just knelt before her when the door opened and two young, black girls entered. “This is Baby Brother,” Violet said. “I want you to encourage him to be the best cunt-lapper in the world.”

I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but then both girls removed their robes and walked naked over to the dresser and took something from the top drawer. Violet grabbed the back of my head and pushed me against her clean-shave pussy. “Lick and suck, Baby Brother, lick and suck… because this doesn’t end for you until I cum.”

I began licking and sucking and pulling on her clit with my lips and teeth. Her cunt began to respond almost instantly. The smell of her juices was overpowering and I unconsciously backed my head away for just a second. There was a loud double pop-smack as the belts hit my ass. I yelped and groaned and tried to move away from the belts, but Violet pulled me back and said, “Like big brother said to me that night, ‘This doesn’t stop until I cum, so you had better get with it.’”

I don’t know how many times they hit me with the belts. All I could think of was making Violet cum. I realized I was starting to get an erection and a stray thought entered my head, [em]‘You are sucking a whore’s cunt while two other whores are beating your ass and you have a hardon that could punch through steel. You are sick!’[/em]

I don’t know how long I sucked and tongued while the girls swatted, but suddenly it was over. Violet gave a loud, yelling moan and clamped her thighs firmly on my head. I was pressed so hard into her cunt that I couldn’t breathe. I was afraid that she was going to kill me by suffocating me when just as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. Violet pushed me backwards and I fell to the floor.

“Not bad for a skinny white guy, Baby Brother. Next time we are going to re-enact more of what happened on that trail. It’s a pity your brother made you wear my clothes home. I woulda kept that dress for just this day and made you wear that dress and thong so I could rip them off you like Tony ripped them off me.”

“I still have them,” I mumbled. “I don’t have them at the apartment above the restaurant. They are still in my closet at my mom’s house… along with your shoes.”

Violet laughed– a deep solid laugh that made my whole body go cold. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?” she said as she continued laughing.

Then her voice got cold and firm again and she spat out, “That’s what I want you wearing this Saturday night at 7:00 pm. Just the dress and panties. No shoes, no coat, nothing that covers you up at all. And I want you to park in the big lot downtown. You park on the roof of that parking deck and walk barefoot all the way down on the ramp. Don’t take the stairs or the elevator; you take the ramp. And you bring me your parking pass and one of those little reminder cards next to the elevator that say “You are parked on level 8.”

“You will come back to the door in the alley where Tina lets you out tonight. Knock on the door and beg me to let you in. I want you to be kneeling there while you say, ‘Mistress Violence, your humble slave, Baby Brother, begs to be punished by you.’ You had better be very convincing, because if you aren’t, I won’t let you in, and who knows what kind of people might be lurking in that dark alley.”

Violet grabbed a handful of my hair and pulled my head back so I was looking up at her through her legs. Her pussy glistened beneath the short dress that was still hiked-up above her waist. “And remember, if I find ANY hair below your neck, I will make you suffer like you have never suffered before.”

She threw me back down to the floor and strode out of the room, smoothing her dress as she walked. One of the naked whores– I guess it was Tina– grabbed my elbow and said, “This way, Baby Brother.”

She dragged me by the elbow back down the flights of stairs, and when we reached the landing at the bottom, she pushed a hidden button on the wall and a door in the outer wall of the house popped open. It wasn’t until she pushed me through the doorway that I realized that I was still naked.

I was standing there in the alley terrified and naked wondering how I was going to get my car and go home when the door popped open again and the other girl stood there in the doorway holding my clothes. They were all wrapped together in a big bundle. “You might need these, Baby Brother,” she said as she threw the bundle out into the middle of the alley. I watched as they landed ten feet away in puddle of muddy water.

Before I could turn back towards the door, it closed once again, and the light above the door went out, leaving me in almost total darkness. I just stood there for several minutes more or less in shock. Then as my eyes got used to the blackness, I walked over to my now sodden clothes and slowly pulled them on. My belt was gone as well as my underwear. They probably had used my own belt on me upstairs, and evidently overlooked my underwear as they picked up the clothing.

As I began to walk back down the hill to where I had parked my car, I realized that the lack of underwear was probably not an accident. The wet jeans rubbed against my ass with each step I took and it wasn’t long before I was taking very small painful steps as the denim scraped against the welts from the whipping I had just received.

By the time I got to the car I was in so much pain that I could barely walk. I looked around and seeing noone nearby, stripped off the jeans and got into the car naked from the waist down. The seat felt cold against my raw asscheeks, but at least it wasn’t wet and it wasn’t denim. I don’t know if the lady in the booth could see that I was naked from the waist down as I paid the parking fees, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get home and go up to my apartment and jerk off.

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END OF CHAPTER THREE OF FIVE
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CHAPTER FOUR OF FIVE

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[em] Baby Brother finds out what the true cost of forgiveness might be.[/em]
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I was still in bed the next morning when there was a knock on the door of my apartment. When I opened it, a rather large, but very beautiful black woman stood there holding a shopping bag. “A package from Miss Violet,” she said sweetly. “She said you probably know what to do with it, but just in case there are written instructions.”

She handed me the bag and left. Inside the sack was an enema bag, a couple of bottles of some sort of liquid laxative, several bottles of hair remover, and a large butt plug. Yeah, I had a pretty good idea what I was supposed to do with it, but I figured I’d better read Violet’s instructions anyway.

“Baby Brother,” it read, “I don’t want any nicks or cuts on that white skin of yours, so use this cream to take off what little hair you have. Use it tonight, and then repeat it on Friday night– not during the day Saturday, I don’t want you coming to me stinking of this shit. Use the purgative on Thursday. It will totally clean you out. Don’t eat anything solid on Friday, or Saturday, and Saturday morning, you give yourself five enemas. It should run clear after two, but you do all five or I will know. There is lipstick, eye liner and eye shadow in the bag along with a remover. You practice putting that on every morning and every night. I want it to be perfect when you get here Saturday. And no jerking off starting tomorrow. You can pump yourself dry all you want today, but I want your balls full when you get here Saturday.”

It was signed “Mistress Violence,” and under the signature was another note saying, “That is what you call me from now on.”

The hair remover cream stung a little, especially on my balls, but I left it on the full time it said on the package. Then I took a warm shower and all of my hair just washed off. My skin felt especially slick, but it didn’t turn red or hurt or anything. There was a slight smell for a while. I don’t know if it went away after a few hours or I just couldn’t smell it anymore.

I tried putting on the makeup, but it came out really bad. I wiped it off and put it back on two more times, and it was a little better, but it still looked crooked and smudged. I wiped it off the third time and decided it was time to go home and get the dress.

The dress and panties and shoes were right where I had left them in a box in the corner of my closet. Mom hadn’t changed anything in my room or in Tony’s. I guess she thought that she had lost both her sons when Tony got killed. She kept telling me I was always welcome, but she always added, “If you aren’t drunk.”

I wasn’t drunk and Mom wanted me to stay, but I told her I had a job opportunity and if it worked out I might get a better apartment. She again told me I was welcome to stay there. I ended up staying for supper, but left as soon as it started getting dark. She asked what was in the box, and I told her it was just some clothes I might need for the new job.

As soon as I got back to the apartment, I stripped and put on the dress and panties. They still fit. I didn’t try on the shoes since Violet had told me to come barefoot on Saturday. I really wanted to lay down on the bed and jack off like I did that night it happened, but I was afraid that I would get the panties dirty, so I took them off. I kept the dress on, but bunched up way above my waist. Mistress Violence said I could pump myself dry, and I did. I kept imagining myself between her legs with the two naked whores whipping my ass and I just kept getting hard and coming and coming and coming. Finally I was too sore or tired or whatever to even get it back up, and I fell asleep on top of the bed still wearing the dress.

I had to work Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday night, so rather than taking the medicine Thursday night, I took it Thursday morning. It cleaned me out good. I wasn’t sure I would be able to go into work, but by five o’clock I stopped having to go to the bathroom, and by six I was able to work. I was running late, though, and forgot that I still had the makeup on. Jamie, one of the cooks who had always treated me well, greeted me with, “You switching sides?”

I didn’t know what he meant at first, but then suddenly realized that I was still wearing the lipstick and eye makeup. “Oh,” I said, “Little Tracy in 2B wanted to practice being a beautician and I let her work on me. I just forgot to wipe it off.”

“Pretty good job for a twelve-year-old,” he replied.

That made me feel good. It meant that I was getting the hang of it.

Then he added with a smile, “But if you every want to step over to the other side, I’ve been dying to find out what that cute little ass of yours looks like.”

I hadn’t realized he was gay, and I hadn’t realized that people were looking at my ass while I worked. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, but since I was going to be showing more than my cute little ass at Violet’s on Saturday night, I didn’t say anything.

The next night, I used the hair remover again. I didn’t see any hair anywhere, but Mistress Violence said to do it twice, so I did. My skin got all soft again, and my ball sack was smoother than it was, so maybe there was a little bit of hair still on there.

When things got slack around ten, Jamie came over to me and said, “I know you said you aren’t interested, but yesterday you had on makeup, and today you smell of hair remover. Who are you getting yourself all dolled up for, honey?”

I turned bright red and stammered out, “Mistress Violence.” I don’t know why I said it, but I didn’t know what else to say.

“Ahh!” he replied. “Playing slave for a femdom. You be careful, honey, or this Violet person will eat you alive.” He made a pouting face and said, “And I won’t ever get to play with that cute little ass of yours.”

Then he smiled at me and said, “If you ever need to get away from your Mistress, just tell me. I knew Violet before she became Little Violence. We came up out of the gutter together– well as far as we could get, anyway. I’m going to have my own restaurant some day, but I will always have a room and bed for you. Of course, the bed will be mine, but I think you would like that.” He laughed and went back to preparing food for a new order.

As I stood there washing pots and pans and feeding dishes into the dishwasher, I kept hearing his words go through my head, “this Violet person will eat you alive.” Maybe she would, but if that was the price for forgiveness then so be it.

Saturday morning I gave myself the five enemas like Mistress Violence had ordered. There were two packets of powder with a note that said I was supposed to use them in the first two enemas. They caused me to cramp really bad and I expelled some dirty looking water that looked liked it had mucus floating in it. The last three were plain water and they flushed everything back out and the cramping stopped. By the last enema, there was nothing but clear water coming out.

I started getting ready around five. I knew that was way early, but I wanted to have time to redo my makeup if I got it wrong. I didn’t. The eye liner was thin and straight. My eyebrows were highlighted, but not smudged. The eye shadow blended slowly to nothing just beneath my eyebrow ridge. When I looked into the mirror, a rather pretty girl was looking back at me.

I took off my pants and underwear and put on the panties. I’m not very big, but panties are not really made for a penis. I ended up tucking it back between my legs so it wouldn’t stick out of one of the leg holes. I hoped it would stay there, but I didn’t know how to keep it in place. I found out later there is a special sling for that– or you can use surgical tape. I just tucked and hoped. I very carefully pulled the dress on over my head, making sure that I didn’t smear any of my makeup, and I was ready– at least physically– for what would happen at Violet’s later in the evening.

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END CHAPTER FOUR OF FIVE
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CHAPTER FIVE OF FIVE

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[em] Baby Brother relives that fateful night from Violet’s perspective and at last finds forgiveness.[/em]
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I parked where Mistress Violence told me to park, on the eighth level of the main parking deck downtown. I didn’t know why she insisted that I walk down the ramp rather than taking the stairs, but after several different cars slowed and whistled and hooted at me and made various lewd suggestions, I got the idea. She wanted me to know what it felt like to have people seeing you as a sex object. By the time I got to the bottom of the ramp, I felt dirty, and I don’t mean the grease and muck that was sticking to the bottoms of my feet.

I walked up the hill to the street called Aiken Alley and down the true alley that ran behind Violet’s. I knocked on the back door and said, “Mistress Violence, your humble slave, Baby Brother, begs to be punished by you.”

A voice from behind the door said, “I didn’t hear you, and I don’t see you on your knees.”

I got down on my knees and said loudly, “Mistress Violence, your humble slave, Baby Brother, begs to be punished by you.”

The door opened. Tina was standing there as well as a blond, white girl. Tina was wearing a nice-looking dress. The white girl was naked. Tina said, “Useless here will wash your feet and knees so you are presentable.”

The naked girl knelt down and began washing my knees and then lifted up my foot and put it in the pan of water she was carrying. She thoroughly cleaned both feet and dried them. Then she turned and bowed even lower while looking up at Tina. “Good enough, Useless,” Tina spat out the words at her. Then she said, “Show Baby Brother why we call you ‘Useless.’”

The girl rocked back so that she was more or less sitting down and the grabbed her knees and spread them wide. The space between her legs was blank. There was no pussy or slit or anything. There was just a small round hole where her ureter should be. Tina laughed. “Useless is a eunuch. She used to be a he ‘til Violet had everything cut off. With no prick and no balls, the female hormone pills work pretty well. She’s got curves and tits and everything now. Everything, that is, but a cunt, and around here, that makes her ‘Useless.’”

Leaving Useless sitting on the floor with her legs splayed, Tina said abruptly, “Come with me.”

I followed her up the steps, but we didn’t go all the way up to Violet’s room like we did the first night. About half way up there was a large landing and a doorway in the wall. Tina pushed a button on the wall and the door opened. “Violet invited a rather large crowd for this special performance tonight,” she said.

I had no idea what she meant until we stepped through the doorway into a short hallway that led to the building next door. The building next door was an old theater and we entered just in front of the stage. If we had turned right and gone down a set of stairs, we would have been in the audience. But we turned left through a doorway and ended up backstage. Tina looked at me and said, “We put on some rather special shows here from time to time. Violet’s invited all of our regular customers.” Then she took me over to one corner of the stage. It was rather dim, but I could see that there were fake trees on the stage with fake grass covering most of the floor. There was a path painted down the center.

“When the curtain opens and the applause finishes,” she explained. “You just saunter slowly down that path. You don’t need a script because you ain’t controlling anything tonight, not even your own body.”

After she walked away, the lights dimmed further on stage. I stood there in the darkness waiting. Even without a script I knew what was going to happen. This was the path through the park where Tony and Rocky and Chuck and Dave and I had raped Violet ten years ago, and tonight, it was going to happen to me.

I could hear some sort of introduction from in front of the curtains, and then they were quickly pulled open. The lights came up on stage as the applause died down and I started walking down the path. I had only gotten about half way when suddenly five people jumped from the trees and grabbed me. Four of them were very huge, very black men. The fifth was Violet.

Violet looked at me and said very loudly, “Looks like we found ourselves a cracker whore, boys.” I knew those words. I could hear them in my nightmares about that night. Violet had turned and run when Tony said that, so I turned and tried to run back upstage. “Hey, white cunt, where are you going in such a hurry?” she said, laughing just like Chuck had laughed when he said it.

Violet lifted my chin so she could look me straight in the eyes and said, “I think she wants to have some fun.” Then she added, “Get naked, cunt… unless you want this to get really rough.” I wasn’t the only one who remembered every word that had been said that night.

I lifted the black dress over my head. Everyone in the audience laughed at my tiny purple panties. I slipped them down my body and stood there naked. Now I knew why she had insisted that I have no hair below my neck. That was how she was that night.

She pushed me to my knees and one of the black men stood before me. “First stop, France. Let’s see how fast you can make him pop, cunt,” She said in a voice filled with contempt. Then she added, “Don’t tell me you have never sucked a black cock before!”

Like she had done that night, I just bowed my head and sagged my shoulders and reached forward to kiss the penis that was in front of me. Unlike me on that night, however, this man was rock hard and ready when my lips closed over his cock. He grabbed the back of my head and thrust himself into me. It wasn’t really a blow job. He was face fucking me and driving his prick to the very back of my mouth. When he spurted, it didn’t even touch my tongue, but went straight down my throat.

The next man lay down on his back with his prick sticking straight up into the air. As I crawled toward him, I could hear Violet sneer, “Listen, little cracker cunt, me and my friends are going to whip your ass until you can show us his cum dripping from your mouth.” With that she and two of the black men started swinging their belts and whipping me as I tried desperately to make the man cum.

“After France comes Greece” she said with a laugh. “You know the position cunt. Let’s see that brown eye winking at us from between those lily white cheeks.” I put my head down almost to the ground so that my ass was high and open. One of the black men smeared something on my ass and then worked it in with his finger. Then he knelt behind me and impaled me with a single, hard thrust.

I cried out in pain and Violet said, “I think we need to keep you quiet. We are going to put your mouth to use until you get him off.” One of the naked, black whores ran on stage with a thick, flat pillow and dropped it just above my head. Violet lowered herself down to sit on it and pulled her dress up to expose her naked cunt. “You keep sucking and licking until he comes in your ass, Baby Brother. And then keep on sucking and licking while the rest of them have their turn.”

I did. I don’t know how Violet kept from cumming. She was pouring juices all over my face, but her voice remained as calm as if we were sitting at her desk having a normal conversation. Finally the fourth black man came in my ass, and Violet said, “It’s time. Get ready for this, Baby Brother, because it might be the last thing you ever do.” With that she suddenly clamped her thighs around my head and pulled me tightly to her cunt so that I couldn’t breathe. I could feel her quaking and thrashing beneath me as everything slowly faded out.

When I came to, I was in her office. I was lying on a couch, naked, and she was sitting at her desk as if nothing had happened. “You didn’t know about that last part, did you, Baby Brother?”

I looked over at her with no idea what she meant.

“You didn’t even feel LeRoy nail you in the ass with that hypo because you didn’t know it was coming.”

She looked at me like I was a sick puppy or something. “That’s why your are still alive. You never knew that while Tony was putting you in that dress, Chuck and Rocky were wacking me up with a couple of hypos that Blue-eyes had given them. One was a sedative to knock me out. The other was a hotshot of almost pure heroin to OD me.”

I stared at her wide-eyed. “The only problem,” she continued, “was that Rocky was dumber than a rock, and he mixed up the needles. They gave me the hot shot in my ass and mainlined the sedative. The sedative didn’t quite kill me, and my fat ass saved me from the heroin because it slowed how fast it went into my system. I was out until morning, and I felt like shit, but I wasn’t dead like Blue-eyes wanted me to be.

“I laid low because I knew that Blue-eyes had to have set it up. He knew that the cops in your town wouldn’t bother to investigate the death of an OD’d black whore. They would chalk it up to a stupid black bitch getting hold of some of the good stuff.

“I saw your brother’s car a couple nights later, and took off after it. I had a gun and was going to use it, but when they saw me, they thought I was a ghost come back from hell to get them and raced away. We were doing almost 90 when I pulled up along side of them and sort of pushed them off the road into that overpass. I didn’t know until the next day that your brother wasn’t in the car.”

“The cops never knew what happened, but Blue-eyes did. He knew I had to be alive and he wanted his money back. Tony and Rocky had gone to him to hire me to give you your first time with a woman. Instead, Blue-eyes hired them to kill me. He gave them $500 and said they could have whatever fun they wanted with me before they did it. But I was alive, and he wanted his money back. That’s why your brother and Rocky were there. Blue-eyes had said they were dead unless he got his $500 back.

“Like I said, Rocky was as dumb as a rock. He tried to muscle his way out of it, and Blue-eyes pulled a knife and stabbed him. They didn’t see me coming up behind them as they were fighting. I put two bullets in Blue-eyes before he could turn around. Your brother knew he was a dead man. He just stood there and waited for me to do it.

“Just before I fired, though, he said something to me. He said, ‘Don’t hurt Baby Brother. He didn’t know about any of it.’ That is probably the only good thing your brother ever did in his life, and it is part of the reason why you are still alive. If it wasn’t for that, I’d have killed you that same day. It wasn’t until after I had taken over Blue-eyes operation that I found out for sure that you knew nothin’ about nothin’.”

She smiled at me. She looked like a totally different person sitting there. Then she said softly, “I forgave you a long time ago, Baby Brother. I did all this tonight so that you would forgive yourself… and so that you would recognize what you truly are.”

I just looked at her with a blank face. I still didn’t understand.

She sighed. “Both of us learned a lot about ourselves that night. I realized that I was a lot stronger than anyone– including me– thought I was. And I realized that you were a submissive sissy boy. You got stiff when your brother beat your ass. And when Dave said he wanted to fuck your ass, you grew at least an inch inside me. I also realized that night that I like being in control. I knew that I had to take out Blue-eyes and take over his operation. Actually, I probably would have eventually taken out Blue-eyes sooner or later, regardless of what else happened that night.”

She walked over to me and held my face in her hands. “Life beats you by trying to make you be something you aren’t. That’s how the shit in this life destroys you. You are what you are, Baby Brother, but you can still find happiness in your life. Jamie is here to take you home. He loves you, or at least he lusts after you. He will treat you right and give you what you need.”

I started to get up off the couch. Violet held out the dress and panties. “These fit you in more ways than one, Baby Brother. Wear them with pride.”

As I started to pull the panties up over my legs, she swatted my ass lightly and said, “And if you and Jamie ever get tired of each other, I can always find a place for you here. Some of my customers like a cute, white ass once in a while.”

I had just pulled the dress over my head when Jamie came into the room and said simply, “Let’s go home, Baby Brother.”

It was finally over. I was forgiven.

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END CHAPTER FIVE OF FIVE
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EPILOGUE

Two years later, Jamie and I moved to San Francisco so he could open his own restaurant. Miss Violet was a silent partner for the first ten years until Jamie got the loan from her paid off. By then, times were changing. A new breed of politicians had taken over in the city and were cleaning it up. Most of the old houses on Aiken Alley were torn down. I heard that Violet retired and moved away.

Jamie and I had 42 wonderful years together. My only regret was that we were never able to officially marry. A local reporter once asked us how we had stayed together for so long. I smiled at him and said, “I think it was because we both learned early on, the value of forgiveness.”
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END OF STORY
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