I Had No Choice, Book V, Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Lisa

Twelve-ninety! I just started at the cold computer printout paper I’d gotten in the mail with shock and horror creeping into my core. I’d studied so long and hard; how could I get so low? I’d studied so long and hard. I knew I wasn’t a genius so had no delusions about getting even close to the maximum score of eighteen hundred, but I’d hoped for much better. Twelve-ninety would get me into several good schools, but wouldn’t get me the scholarships to pay for it. And without the ability to finance it I’d be stuck with taking a much cheaper college, if I could afford it at all.

Sure, I could always take out loans, but I had no credit history and would be solely responsible for all of it. With my dream of being a teacher came the reality that it didn’t pay well enough to spend the rest of my life in debt. There was no way my parents would help out, not that I’d want them to anyway. Once I left home I never wanted to see either of them ever again.

Right on cue Mom pounded on my door, prattling in her heavily Asian accented and choppy English, “Lisa, you make dinner. I going out.” She was no doubt going to the same strip mall she always did to get her hair and nails done. Not that Dad cared what she looked like; when he was home he just drank beer and watched TV all day. Mom didn’t even wait for a reply and was zooming off to get chatty with her Asian girlfriends.

“What the fuck am I going to do?” I groaned into my pillow. For a moment everything Mister Pressman has said about support programs for pregnant mothers came back to me and my stomach rolled in revulsion. No one knew anything about me, so no one could help. I should just cut my wrists or walk in front of a train.

As I contemplated my gruesome end the phone rang. I didn’t own a cell, so ran out to answer it since Dad couldn’t be bothered to walk five feet. It was probably for me or Mom anyway, but it turned out to be Becky. “Did you get your SAT results?”

I wanted to be happy to talk with her, but she had to start with the test. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Really?” she asked concerned. “That bad? I got a thirteen twenty-two!” My heart sank. Why was Becky so amazing at everything? Beautiful, smart, witty, funny, athletic, sexy, she was practically perfect in every way. If I didn’t like her so much I’d hate her.

“That’s great,” I encouraged her, but knew it came out limp. Better just get it over with. “I got a twelve-ninety,” I confessed.

“That’s great!” Becky cheered. “We got almost the same score. Maybe we could go to the same college?”

For a moment my heart skipped. “Right,” I pondered. Why did she make me feel this way. I’d really only known Becky well for a month, but in that time my life had turned upside-down. When I heard about Mister Font tutoring her I’d leaped at the opportunity, but after finding out about their affair I’d gotten turned on and jealous, not of Becky, but of Mister Font.

I really had ignored anything to do with dating and sex, knowing it would ruin my career, and somehow not going crazy over boys never bothered me. I didn’t have any real friends and instead just studied, and that was always good enough for me. Then one day something inside me just turned on and my vagina just would start watering while I was in the girls locker room. It was then I began to worry that I might be a lesbian.

All girls like to compare themselves to other girls. Who has got the biggest tits or hips, or the smallest waist or feet. I’ve even seen them argue about the size and shape of their noses. I tried to stay out of such superficial contests that no one had any control of anyway, but then my hormonal switch turned on and suddenly I was glancing around in the showers after gym, admiring every nipple, crotch, and ass. I know guys would pay for such shows and as long as no one knew, I’d enjoy them for free.

Sometimes I’d worry that I was broken or weird, but I had my anonymous internet friends to help me cope on rough days. One even encouraged me to role-play a little and type to her what I would do if we were lovers. It was just harmless fun, but I couldn’t do that often because it was just too uncomfortable pretending to have sex while pretending to be doing homework on the family computer that I’m pretty sure Dad bought just to use for porn after everyone else went to bed. My Dad isn’t the brightest, so it didn’t take long before I snooped into his browser history and saw graphic sex displays for the first time.

It probably wouldn’t have been too bad if Dad wasn’t a perverted masochist, but all his pictures were of girls bound up or chained, many being tortured before and during being raped and defiled, usually by a group of guys. I considered showing Mom these pictures, but she couldn’t be bothered to care about my existence so fuck her. Instead I used those same sites to open the gateway to my addiction to lesbian porn.

I knew there was no way I was going to come out at school, so really my only outlet for my newly awakened sex drive was waking up early to use the computer when no one else was awake. Over the last few months I started exploring my body and finding out what touches made me feel good. Then I’d started those tutoring sessions with Mister Font and Becky. That was when I began thinking about Becky as I masturbated.

I tried to keep my thoughts on studying, but Becky was just so flirty all the time. She’d wear short skirts, low cut shirts, and tight shorts; anything to show off as much of her attractive body as possible. That made it hard to study, and while I knew she wasn’t showing off for me I imagined she was and began having a total secret crush on her. Then when I found out about their affair and pregnancy I realized I should have known the whole time. They were advertising it in front of me every day, but I think it was my own desire to be with Becky that blinded me to it.

I still remember the day I couldn’t help myself and I masturbated right on Becky couch as she and Mister Font had sex in her room. With the help she had given me, saving me from that creepy Mister Pressman’s advances, I really thought we had a special bond. Then she’d let her affair slip out and I knew I had no chance with her unless I wanted to blackmail her. I couldn’t do that because I loved her. Instead I gave them some privacy and turned up the TV loud with music so I couldn’t hear them upstairs and I tried to think of anyone else, but just couldn’t.

In my fantasy Becky came down disappointed and unsatisfied that her older lover had fallen asleep on her and she was so turned on and frustrated that she asked me to help finish her off. Of course after I eagerly licked her out she offered to return the favor. I was just savoring the blissful orgasmic convolutions I’d teased my body into when I’d realized I’d made a mess of Becky’s couch and went to clean it up and ran right into Mister Font who must have been watching me.

For his part he was graceful and hid my actions from Becky. I’d been so shocked I would have gotten caught by her if he hadn’t spied upon me, but still I was deeply uncomfortable just knowing that he had watched me getting myself off combined with my jealousy of him snatching Becky away from me. Maybe that’s why I pressed him about his wife and ended up using my knowledge of his affair as blackmail material to get him to renew his help for getting me into college. Fat lot of good that got me.

“Wanna come over and talk about it?” Becky asked since I’d been lost in thought and silent for too long.

I didn’t really want to, but getting out of my house was always a plus. “I don’t have a ride,” I responded though.

“You do now!” Becky responded excitedly. “Look out the window.” I did and saw an old beat up VW bug in my driveway that appeared to have once been blue, but was now rust with faded white patches that barely had any blue tint left. That was good enough for me. I pulled in some shoes and ran out to my girlfriend’s car. “Like it?” she asked as I got in.

It was the most decrepit car I’d ever seen, but it was freedom and that made it great. “It’s awesome!” I chimed in with Becky’s enthusiasm.

She stalled it once backing out, and ground the gears as she shifted, but she had gotten her license in an automatic, so I’m sure with practice she would get better at using the standard clutch of this old vehicle. “Sorry,” she cringed in embarrassment. “I’m still getting used to this.”

“You’re doing better than I would,” I answered honestly. “I still don’t have my license because my parents are too cheap and lazy to give me practice driving.”

Now that we were moving however Becky easily shifted up and down as we cruised down the streets. “So where do you wanna go?” she asked.

“Anywhere is fine,” I responded. “Somewhere I can just forget about school.”

“I heard about a place,” Becky chirped and then drove us out of town and up a big hill. A dirt road that looked well used turned off the main road and into some woods, and I was a little concerned when she took it. After a few minutes though the trees opened up to a farmer’s field and the whole valley and town opened up below us.

“Wow!” I gasped having never seen my sleepy home town from above like this before. I could see a few cars moving along on the small highway, but they were so small they looked like toys. The tiny buildings and trees all made the area look like a giant model.

“Yea wow!” Becky agreed. “Mom told me this is where kids went in her day, but I didn’t know it would be this nice.” For several minutes we just soaked up the sunny weather and the panoramic view, trying to forget about everything else. Just sharing something beautiful like this with Becky was good enough for now.

Eventually though Becky spoke, “Lisa, I need to tell someone something, but I need you to promise not to freak out.”

I looked over and could tell she needed to get something off her chest. I just wished it was her shirt. “What could you possibly need to get out that I don’t already know? I know about Mister Font and your baby and have kept your secret so far. Anything else is peanuts compared to that.” Then I thought for a second, “He didn’t… help you cheat on the test?” I exclaimed, sure that was her new secret.

“No!” she scowled. “I would never do that!” Then, instead of confessing, she hemmed and hawed some more, “It’s… well…”

“Come on,” I grumbled. “Spit it out.”

“Fine,” she countered sharply. Then took a big breath and said shyly, “I think I might be bi.”

I couldn’t have heard her right; I was fantasizing whatever she really said to something that I wanted to hear. “What?” I asked unsurely.

“Bisexual,” she said firmly now. “I accidentally saw my mother sleeping with another woman… and it turned me on.”

Neither of us spoke for a minute or two. I just was trying to keep calm and not wet my panties. A million dirty thoughts were going through my head, but I didn’t want to spook Becky out of anything. She couldn’t think I was a dyke could she? “Well I’m sure that anyone seeing something like that would…” I started, cautiously trying to give her an out, but she interrupted.

“Then, the next time I had sex with Ed I had him eat me out, then I licked up his face as I rode him and came again really hard and quickly.” That was it. My own panties were soaked now. If I wasn’t wearing jeans to hold it in I’m sure she would be able to smell me already.

“But it’s not like you’ve done anything with someone else,” I said more to calm my own fears that she was going to end with a big reveal about her having sex with some other woman.

“No, but…” Becky agreed sheepishly, but I kept going.

“And are you attracted to someone other than Ed?” I confronted her. Saying my teacher’s first name felt weird, but we were already well into strange territory.

“No, but…” she answered. My heart sank slightly, but I knew that what I wanted her to say was far too much to hope for.

“Then you’re not bisexual,” I said firmly, though slightly disappointed.

“How can you be sure?” Becky wavered unsure. I just couldn’t take it anymore. It was like she was begging me to try something. My body was going insane with excitement at even the chance at getting inmate with my crush. I had no choice but to press the issue.

“Kiss me,” I dared her.

“What?” Becky said shocked by my words, but finally looking at me for the first time.

“Kiss me and you’ll know for sure if you are into girls or not,” I reasoned and leaned over the shifter to meet her halfway. “And if you aren’t then we’ll just pretend it never happened.”

That final assurance seemed to tip the scales of her doubts. Becky brought her face to mine. I could feel her hot breath on my nervous lips and I closed my eyes. It was like a dream. Her hot lips were soft and moist as they pleasantly pressed into mine. I couldn’t control myself any longer and I opened my mouth and twisted my head.

Suddenly Becky pulled back, breaking off my first kiss far shorter than I would have liked. I was worried that I’d tipped my hand and scared her away, but she was giggling. “That was your first kiss wasn’t it?”

I could feel my cheeks redden and just wanted to run and bury my head and die of embarrassment. I didn’t even need to answer as the truth was written all over my face. “I really get what Ed had said after our first kiss now,” she explained. “You don’t need to swallow my face, and go easier with the tongue.” Then to my amazement she leaned in again and let me kiss her again.

My world stopped as our mouthed opened to each other and my tongue danced with hers. This was everything I’d ever dreamed about and I could have kissed her all the rest of my life. The smell of her hair, the heat of her cheek on my nose, and her soft nose on mine; everything was perfectly awesome. I hadn’t even noticed that my hands had a mind of their own and one had reached over to cup her bountiful breasts while the other was poking between my legs.

“Well it seems we both like this,” Becky tittered as we caught our breath from making out. I wasn’t sure if she was going to stop things there because she seemed to be thinking, but then asked, “Wanna get in the back where we will have more room?”

This was better than every fantasy I’d ever had. I don’t even remember speaking before we jumped out of the car and back in, just into the back where there was a single long bench seat. Instantly we were all over each other. Making out with my hands on her back, pressing her clothes bosom into my small mosquito bite sized tits and one leg winding around hers.

It seemed to last forever as I was finally allowed to express my love for this girl that had ruled my heart for the last few months. I was never really sure I would ever be happy, especially after I found out about her affair with our teacher, but now nothing could shake my desire. I wanted, no needed to show her I was the one she should love. I would give her all of me and bring her more pleasure than Mister Font ever could. They say only a woman can really know how to please another woman, and I was going to do my very best to prove that saying true.

I kissed my love like a woman possessed, my hands wildly grabbing at her back and ass. I easily pulled up her skirt and had one hand digging under her pantied butt-crack when she slithered one hand down the front of my jeans. With my panties wedged in my ass and cunt, along with how over excited I was, it was really no surprise that a moment later when her finger pressed into my clit that I started cuming buckets.

It surprised Becky though. She gave a little shriek when my vagina started squirting, gushing out liquid to drench myself and her hand. It was just like what happened at her house, I violent came and my pussy shot out fluid almost as if I’d pissed myself. “I… I’m sorry,” I grunted even as my body was finishing it’s convolutions. At least I didn’t spray my gusher all over her car, just the insides one of my jeans and her hand.

Becky had pulled her hand back in surprise, and at first I was worried that I’d scared her off with my explosive orgasm, but then she licked my juices off her sticky fingers while she looked me in the eye and I swear I came again just watching her do that.

When my brain started functioning again I knew things were still okay between us. “That was really hot! Do you always cum like that?”

Now was my moment of truth. After this I couldn’t lie anymore. I had to tell her how I really felt. “When I think of you,” I answered simply.

She was confused at first, but then when I thought I have to explain it I could see the realization creep across her face in the orangish setting sun on this late spring day. “You mean…”

Taking one last deep breath I confessed fully. “I fell in love with you Becky. I don’t know if you can ever love me, and I know you having a baby with Mister Font, but he’s married. You got to know you can never have a future with him.” Boldly I took her still tacky hand that had brought me so much pleasure and gave it a tight squeeze. “I will love you more than he ever will. We could go to college together and raise the baby…”

She pulled her hand back and I realized I’d gone too fast. I tried to walk it back, but it was too late. “I need to process this,” was all she said rather distantly and climbed back into the front seat. I followed her and she wordlessly drove me back home in icy tense silence.

I almost started crying, but I didn’t want to ruin what we might have with hysterics, so I held it in and just bit my lip as I got out. “Sorry,” was all I could manage as I closed the door. She didn’t even look at me or answer, just drove away focused on the road. Then my resolve melted and my cheeks were the rivers that carried my regret as I ran inside into my bedroom and soaked my pillow with my tears.

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This is the first of five chapters in Book V. You can download the whole thing here:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/515517

Previews:

Chapter 22: Edward gets surprised when Becky brings Lisa into the bedroom to join in their fun.

Chapter 23: Lisa retakes her SAT and accidentally spies Edward and Christine.

Chapter 24: Edward is given an unbelievable ultimatum by Lisa.

Chapter 25: Becky is stuck babysitting with Lisa as her mother takes Edward and his wife on a week long vacation.

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