I’m So Drunk Right Now…

What a great way to spend Saint Patrick’s Day. I was planning on getting drunk anyway, but now I was angry and drinking far more than I knew I should, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to forget my lying, cheating whore of an ex-girlfriend.

Everyone else was cheering, celebrating the Irish holiday, drinking watered down green beer. Instead I started off hard with two shots of vodka, and hardly slowed down the rest of the night. In the sea of green rowdy revelers one lady stood out as I bumped into her getting another drink. I was pretty drunk, but she seemed to be an attractive blonde in a sexy green dress. She scowled, and seemed to be drinking just as heavily as I was. I don’t know exactly what I said or did, but she looked at me and said in a disgusted tone, “Men fucking suck shit.”

I shot right back without thinking, “Women are all lying whores.”

After that she responded with a string of even more derogatory insults against my sex, and I kept up with her, letting out all my hate on this complete stranger. Half of our drunken insults didn’t even make sense, but that didn’t matter to either of us as we just ranted and drank.

We spent the rest of the night drinking and cursing as the bar cleared out as the night wore on. I’m hazy on the details, but we were ushered out when the bar closed at two in the morning. Then she looked at me and said, “I’m so drunk right now… I probably shouldn’t drive home.”

My brain should have warned me, but like a fool I volunteered, “I live in an apartment just down the street.” Then we stumbled down the empty dark street, up the three long flight of stairs, and into my apartment.

The place was a mess between the broken lamp still in shards where I’d thrown it during the fight I’d had with my girlfriend earlier that day, so only half the normal light came on when I flipped the switch. I showed her the couch, then walked into my bedroom crashed onto the bed.

The long walk and stairs had really sent all the alcohol right to my brain, so I passed out seconds after my head hit the pillow. I’m not sure how long I slept, but it was still mostly dark out when I woke to the sound of crying.

I got up and followed the sound back out of my open bedroom door. I was still light headed and buzzed, but no longer blind drunk. So looking down at the sobbing woman I could tell she was actually really hot looking, even with her disheveled hair and streaking makeup. “What’s wrong?” I asked wiping the sleep from my eyes.

She looked up and instantly tried to bottle herself back up, “Nothing. I’m sorry. I should go.” She went to stand, but wobbled and sat back down and put her hand to her head. “Whoa,” she muttered, “I’m so dumb.”

“It’s okay,” I comforted her, but she was having none of it.

“No,” she cried. “I’m so useless I cannot even have a drunken one night stand right.”

That threw me a little. Had she wanted me to take advantage of her? “Look, I’m sorry, but I wasn’t trying to pick you up last night. I just broke up with my long-term girlfriend yesterday and was just looking to drown my sorrows.”

She wiped at her running mascara with the back of her hand. “Me too. I found out Brian has been porking his secretary when I went to surprise him for lunch yesterday.”

“Yea, Beth was about the same,” I related my story. “She’d told me she was hanging out with her girlfriends, but then I went to surprise her with changing her phone background with a picture of me and got a sexy text from some guy.”

“She was cheating on you?” she asked.

“With at least three different guys, one who was a friend of mine.” I confessed. It felt really good to let it all out. I’d lost my girlfriend and one of my best friends. All my other friends already knew, some for longer than I had, but just felt they couldn’t tell me. I’d gone out with Beth for five years, and lived together for the last two. I’d had plans to ask her to marry me, but she’d just been using my love for free rent.

I looked at the blonde woman and sat down next to her. “What a pair we are,” I laughed.

Then she looked me in the eye, “She must have been hot?”

“What?” I asked confused.

“You didn’t want to sleep with me, so I must not be as good looking,” she explained.

I felt bad, seeing her sad and messy face so grabbed a box of tissues and handed them to her. She thanked me and cleaned up her makeup while I tried to comfort her. “Actually I think you are much hotter, way out of my league, but you cannot be too careful with date rape these days.”

“God! Political correctness will be the death of us,” she said exasperated. “I really need to feel like a woman. Can you help me?” She pleaded with deep blue puppy dog eyes, now mostly clean from her makeup, but still shimmering wet from her tears. Before I knew it she had drawn me into a kiss.

Her breath was quite bad, like rotten fruit from the copious amounts of booze she had put away last night, but I’m sure mine was no better. And once our lips touched it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered. I’d felt the same way she must have; lonely, hurt, betrayed, alone. So just being allowed to loving someone, even on the shaky pretense of a drunken one-nighter was enough to discard all my doubts and inhibitions. She needed me and I needed her. I reached over and took her into my arms as our hungry tongues darted and probed back and forth, dueling each other as the flames of our lust feed off each other.

Our hands were all over each other, grabbing, squeezing, pulling at our clothing. Her green party dress easily came off her shoulders easily and exposed her bra-less plump and delicious tits that I left her face to suckle on. She moaned in pleasure at my pulling and sucking as her nipples grew hard and pointed, letting me tweak and nibble on the hard bumpy flesh. She hadn’t stopped undressing me as I did this, but couldn’t unbutton my shirt properly, so I lost a button or two and she fought with it. Once it was open she pushed me back off the couch and right to the floor, where she pounced on me, grabbing my belt and harshly yanking it off and tossing it once it’d been pulled free. Then she opened my fly and pried open my jean’s button.

I hadn’t expected anything so was wearing tight white underwear that were now getting painfully tight. She grabbed my waistband and tugged them down, but I had to arch back to lift my butt to give her the ability to pull them down. Then, much as I had with her tits she swallowed my schlong whole. I wasn’t fully hard yet, still woozy from the alcohol that hadn’t yet been cleaned from my system, but at least a few hours had passed so I wasn’t totally out of it.

I laughed as she was able to fit my whole few inches in her mouth and put her lips right into my bristly bush. She wasn’t able to do that for long though as her mouth massaged my cock the rest of the way awake. All I could think is that Beth would never do this for me, always claiming that it was gross, but then I could see her sucking every cock in town behind my back and here was this woman I just met going to town on me. I opened my eyes again pulled her blonde mess of frizzy hair aside so I could watch her lips vacuuming up my shaft, her cheeks sucked in, pleasantly bobbing up and down my long hard shaft now, only able to get halfway down now that I was at full size.

Then she let my dong pop free as she climbed up my body. Immediately my brain finally gave off a warning. I’d always used condoms with Beth, and now was thankful since she’d been whoring and had who knew how many diseases. She had been my first and only lover in college, and I’d fallen for her hard when I first meet her. She was so wild and carefree, having been open and honest about sex, or so I though, telling me I was her twentieth lover. She told me I was the best, but obviously not good enough to keep adding to that list.

I’d always wanted to go bareback, maybe have some kids, but Beth totally hated that idea, and I’d changed my life to accept that reality because I loved her. But now I had no delusions that this woman was going to be my one and only. I didn’t know her at all, and her own lover had been a cheater as well. I had no idea if she was clean, and I didn’t want to regret this moment for the rest of my life. All this blitzed through my brain in half a second as soon as I realized she was moving to ride me.

“There are condoms in the bedstand if you want,” I offered, trying to make it sound like a suggestion to protect her instead of self-preservation.

“Brian…” she said as if just saying the name of her ex was torture. “I’ve never been with anyone else and he always used them.” She paused, unsure but considering her words. Then she lifted off of me, “I’ll get one.”

“Wait…” I said and grabbed her hips to bring her back to me. I believed her, but still the risks weighed heavily on me. Even if she was clean I didn’t want a child with a stranger that I was going to have to pay for the rest of my life. “I’ve always had to use them too, but what if you get pregnant?” I asked.

She smiled and bent down to kiss me again, pushing up her beautiful tits as she held my face. “Don’t worry, it should be a safe day for me. And I promise, no matter what, you never have to see me again if you don’t want to. I don’t even know your name…” I started to speak, but she put her finger to my lips, “Don’t. It’s better this way.”

I didn’t argue with her after that. She hiked up her dress letting me see her simple white panties concealing her womanhood. Then she just pulled them a little and I couldn’t see it well enough, but her hands grabbed my cock and pushed it inside her. It was so hot and wet, nothing like the cold gooey or chafing condoms. It was like a warm buttery heaven wrapped around my pole and smothered it with love.

She must have been thinking the same thing. “Oh God, it’s so hot…” she moaned as her vagina swallowed me up. Once she was almost all the way in her pelvis settled onto mine, but I wasn’t all the way in yet. I pushed up and pulled down on her hips, causing her to squeak in surprise as I pushed her to her interior limits. She smiled down at me, “And so big too.”

After that we didn’t speak. She closed her eyes and just worked her body up and down, churning on my cock to hit her pleasure spots and driving me wild. It was amazing and wonderful. I was seeing stars and my head was swimming with euphoria. It had been almost a weeks since Beth had let me fuck her last so I was worried I wouldn’t last long enough for this sexy woman.

I returned my attention to her large tits that were hanging down over my chest, lifting on and craning my neck up to suckle on it as she rocked back and forth, but it was awkward and painful on my hard wood floor I gave her other breast similar treatment for a moment, then relaxed my head back and just fondled her twins with my hands as her riding was getting more serious. Her breathing was getting shallower, and I could tell she was getting close, but I was starting to be in pain from being flat on my back on the floor and so wasn’t staying completely hard and she could tell, “What’s wrong?”

“My back…” I said regretfully. Here was the sexiest moment in my life, only rivaled by the night Beth took my virginity, and I was ruining it.

“Oh,” she said sorry and got up off of me. I groaned and rolled up to my knees stretching my back and neck out. She didn’t waste any time though and got back on the couch, facing away from me with her ass in the air, still wearing the dress and panties which had flopped back to being mostly in place. “Here, do me this way.”

She pulled her panties back to the side, letting me see clearly her fuzzy light brown cunt hair. I guess she wasn’t a true blonde, but that didn’t bother me. I got behind her and instead of taking her invitation to go right back to fucking decided to show her what Beth called my best quality, my mouth on her cunt.

I pulled her panties all the way down, discarding them to the floor, and pressed my mouth against her wet vagina and flicked my tongue over her clit. She went wild, shaking and squealing, and I loved showing off how good I was. Beth always made me lick her off before I was allowed to fuck her, and she never came quite as hard from fucking as she did from my tongue, but now I wondered if she wasn’t faking her second orgasms just to get me off and done with.

My new lover cried out how it was the driving her insane and I didn’t let up until I could tell she was cuming. Her body tensed, her ass shook, and her breathing stopped as she groaned her pleasure wordlessly and loudly. She almost collapsed and I pulled back and leaned to look around her ass on the side her head was pressed up against the back of the couch and made sure she was alright.

Her eyes finished rolling and fluttering, and she pulled back her hair to look at me clearly. “God, and girl that would cheat on that is an idiot.”

Her complement was heartwarming and I returned it in kind, “I’d have to say the same about you. You are by far the sexist woman I’ve ever seen.”

“Yea right…” she scoffed and adjusted herself back up to a kneeling position.

“No, I mean it,” I insisted.

“Well, show me then. I’m all wet and need some fucking hard cock in me,” she said pushing out her ass again. I was still pretty hard, and happy to oblige. I stood behind her and lined up my dick with her wide open cunt lips and pushed back inside. “Come on, give it all to me,” she urged me on as I pushed all the way in. It only took a few thrusts before my hardon had once more regained its full rigidity and I was spearing her twat relentlessly, jabbing at her cervix. “Oh yea, there it is.”

After that we just fucked like animals for several minutes. She was a woman, and I was a man, and it was just nature. I needed to relieve myself, and she needed the same. Then she said something that caught me up, “That’s it. Harder. Use me. I’m Beth and I want it.”

“What?” I asked.

“You still love her,” the woman said over her shoulder. “I can tell. Just… pretend I’m her for one last time.” She didn’t look at me, but could tell I was unsure about doing this. “If… you pretend I’m her and I pretend you are Brian… Would that be okay?”

I thought, and figured, what the hell. I pushed back into her and closed my eyes to change her blonde hair to brown and said, “God Beth, your pussy is so tight tonight.”

Something about making her Beth in my mind made all the difference. While I had been hard and the fucking had felt great it just needed that little spark to really get me off. I wondered if she had imagined my oral loving of her as being given from Brian, but I didn’t care. I focused on the imaginary Beth and found my stride in making love to her now, no longer just rutting like an animal.

She panted and moaned over the wet slapping of my cock as it drilled inside her, my hips pounding into her ass. “Of, fuck,” she cried as I felt one hand of hers reach down to rub her clit as I banged her. It was like a switch had flipped and I was going to cum in just seconds, the blood quickly pounding in my ears. “Cum for me Brian,” she moaned as he pussy tightened. “I need it.”

I could be Brian as long as she was Beth. “I’m cuming!” I grunted and felt the deliriously pleasant felling of my sperm spray out, bathing her womb with my salty swimmers. Over and over I convulsed, like a cannon, unloading into her, then a half second pause as I reloaded before firing once more. Her body churned and sucked my every shot out as Beth’s never had. I wasn’t just spraying it into the tight rubber tip of a condom , but actually having real sex for the first time. It was pure ecstasy.

I stayed locked against her, both of us panting for breath and just letting the pleasure wash over our bodies locked together in desperate desire. When my cock had gotten too soft to stay in I pulled back, and her cooch expelled a long sticky trail of semen to the floor.

She convulsed a few times to squeeze it out, probably thinking she didn’t want to get pregnant if she didn’t have to risk it either, but I didn’t care. I went and got some paper towels from the kitchen and found she had left her clothes here and was now using my shower. When she got out I gave her a towel and she covered her nakedness from me, strangely shy now after what we had just done. I quickly pissed and showered off as well, and wrapped a towel around my waist as I saw her checking her phone that must have been in her purse.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Oh, I just called into work,” she explained. “I’m going to have such a hangover today,” she sighed rubbing her forehead.

“Yea, that’s a good idea,” I agreed and grabbed my own phone. It was always an office joke about people calling in here on the Tuesday following Saint Patrick’s Day, so I’m sure I’d get an earful from my boss, but that would be a bridge I’d cross tomorrow. I sent a quick text to my boss, then saw her grabbing her clothes. “Leaving already?”

“Yea,” she said sounding sorry that she had inconvenienced me. “You’ve been great, but…”

“Yea…” I said thinking this was just the way it had to be, two strangers passing in the night, needing each other for just one moment, then never to see one another ever again. I thought then how spontaneous Beth had been, and wondered if I’d still be a virgin today if she hadn’t made the first move. Even here this woman had initiated this whole encounter, and I’d just gone alone with it. It was then I decided I needed to change.

“It’s still not quite dawn, and it’s not like you’re going to be late for work…” I suggested.

“Well…” she hesitated holding her clothes about to enter the bathroom to change.

“Come to back to bed,” I said then realized she hadn’t been in my bed yet. “Well, to bed anyway, for at least a few hours at least.” Then I laughed, “It’s not like either of us are worried of taking advantage of the other.”

She laughed back. “That’s true. Okay,” she agreed and followed me into my bedroom, orange with the rising sun coming in the window. I dropped my towel and shamelessly got into my bed nude. Then I watched her do the same in dawn’s light, now clearly able to see all of her beautiful naked body for only a second as she got into bed next to me. “Goodnight,” said softly and closed her eyes. I was exhausted too, and soon drifted off to sleep, a smile on my face with the beautiful mystery woman in my bed.

When I woke up we were spooning, her back pressed up against my chest, one arm under her head and the other on her waist. I wasn’t sure if she was awake yet, so squinted at the clock. It was now almost noon and I was getting hungry. More importantly though, my cock woke up again being pressed up close to this beauty again. Beth hated being touched and always slept apart from me, only touching when we had sex about once a week, but unless I missed my guess she had snuggled up to me as I slept.

“Good morning,” she said pleasantly, yet unmoving.

“Morning,” I replied. “How long you been up?”

“Not long,” she answered. “But you have a great alarm clock,” she informed me, wiggling her hip that my cock was pressing up against.”

“Great huh?” I chuckled and grabbed my cock to rub the head against her ass crack.

“Don’t do that! You’ll make me want you again,” she squirmed to pull away, but I liked this and grabbed her hip with one hand and a tit with the other, pulling her back into my embrace.

“And what would be so bad about that?” I asked teasing her nipple, feeling it harden to my gently prodding fingertip.

“Because I’m not drunk anymore,” she said sadly. “Look, I’m not normally like this…” she started to explain but I cut her off.

“And you think I am?” I shot back. She tried to speak, but I was putting my foot down. “You weren’t too drunk to forget what we did last night. It’s okay, we both needed it. But now we are not Brian and Beth anymore. People get together for all sorts of crazy reasons, and I don’t know about you, but I had a really good time last night, and I’m not just talking about the sex.”

My lover just quietly considered my words, and I let her go to roll her on her back as I leaned up to look her in the eye. “Let’s just start fresh. Hi. My name is Rick.”

She laughed and squinted her eyes as her smile engulfed her whole face, “Pleased to meet you Rick. I’m Karen.” She held up her hand and instead of shaking it since I was holding myself up with my hands I just kissed it, making her laugh again.

“It seems to me Karen, that we are a lot alike, including in our unfaithful ex’s,” I explained. “So I propose that you and I should start dating. It’s not like either of us are seeing anyone else.”

“I…” she looked like she was about to instantly agree before her brain over road her. “I’m not looking for just a rebound,” she countered. “You seem like a really nice guy, but isn’t it just too soon?”

My brain said she was right, but to hell with that. Maybe it was just my little brain talking but I answered her honestly. “I don’t care. On top of being the sexiest woman who’s ever given me the time of day, you are can cuss like a sailor and really hold your booze. So far this has been the best date of my life.”

Then she pulled me down into a fierce hug whispered in my ear, “Mine too.” I held her close, glad she really felt the same way, but then she surprised me. “So… if we are dating, then could you…” she whispered, unsure if she should be saying it out loud, “do that… with your mouth?”

I laughed out loud, truly and deeply. She was a little nervous and scared, unsure of what to make of my reaction, but I was elated. “Oh, I am going to marry you!” I informed her as I kissed my way down her body, throwing off the covers before going down on her again.

And I did after only six months later. Our friends said it was a mistake, and a whirlwind wedding, or accusing her of being pregnant, but she wasn’t yet, and I knew even after that first time that she was my one. A little after a year we had our first child, a girl, and we easily agreed that the only name on our list was Patty.

*****************

I’m a lone amateur author, underemployed, with no editors or reviewers, so I apologize for any typos you may find (which I’m sure you will.) But I try to review them several times, and I think they come out fairly well.

PLEASE, if you liked this story, rate and review it. The more copies I sell, the more I can make this a real business, maybe even make it profession and write even more and spend more time on each story.

If you enjoyed this story please take time to view my other works at Smashwords here:
http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/efon

There are lots of free short stories to give you a taste of my writing style, as well as several longer epic stories.

If you want to see updates or to discuss my works, go to my Facebook page here:
https://www.facebook.com/EFon.author

---