Taken By Default

Act I: Where she hooks me

Before I could turn my head in surprise, she had fingered my last cigarette from the crumpled pack in front of me. It was now dangling from her lips as she shot me a defiant look.

‘Aren’t you going to give me a light?’

Her fingernails were drumming impatiently on the vinyl counter top while I fumbled with my Zippo, finally producing a flame which she sucked in sharply through the cigarette. She swiveled away from me and threw her head back to spit a cloud of smoke into the already dense air of the hotel bar.

I eyed her cautiously in the mirror behind the bar. Late forties, cropped black hair short enough to be daring, huge round earrings that stretched her tired earlobes. The executive kind. Her face was hard and stern, too much mascara around the slitted eyes, her thin lips painted three shades too dark for her pale skin. She was wearing a grey pin-striped business suit, straight-lined skirt and jacket over a white blouse, black stockings, high-heel pumps.

Anger breathed through her every pore. This was a woman who, in my twisted fantasy, could force a man to his knees with a simple look. I felt my hardness tearing a tell-tale crease into the front of my pants as I imagined her standing above me, arrogant and disdainful, baring her crotch with one hand while the other – spent ashes from her cigarette snowing down on my shoulder – pulled me into her wet cunt. Casually looking down at me and puffing her cigarette, she rode herself to a swift cold climax on my face.

‘Do you need help with that?’

The woman had turned back to me and her eyes were on my crotch, where my hand was squeezing my stiff dick through the fabric. Embarrassed, I crossed my legs and hid my lap under the counter. I didn’t dare to look at her, but I could feel her cold stare boring holes in my skull.

As inconspicuously as possible, I slipped a ten dollar bill onto the counter to pay for my beer and slid off my bar stool.

‘Sit down.’

I froze. Her voice was sharp and commanding. She hadn’t moved. I sneaked a glance at the mirror and she was sitting there as before, blowing cigarette smoke into the air. She was staring back at me through the mirror. I slid back onto my chair, my brain spinning as I tried to figure out what to do. She had no business talking to me like that. I should have just left. What kept me?

‘I-I think you’re mistaking me for someone else.’

‘I think you’re in for a sexual harassment charge if you don’t shut your mouth right this instant.’

‘I don’t k-know what you’re talking about,’ I croaked. I felt the blood rushing up to my face. They take sexual harassment very seriously in this country.

The woman turned back at me, staring at me with an amused smile on her face. Suddenly, her hand was in my lap and I felt it grabbing my hard-on.

‘This is what I’m talking about.’

She gave it a hard squeeze, pulling me back as I tried to turn away. I looked around as inconspicuously as I could, but no one seemed to notice what was going on. She let go of my dick after a while, but kept looking at me.

‘Take it out.’

The words jolted me. She had not whispered.

‘W-what?’

‘I said, take it out.’

I looked at her, but had to divert my eyes under the pressure of her stare. Her face was dead serious.

‘I… no! I can’t do that here. Someone will notice.’

‘You weren’t too concerned about that a minute ago while you were whacking off.’

‘I wasn’t… ‘

The woman drew from her cigarette and blew the smoke in my face. Then she leaned over and whispered in my ear.

‘Listen. You started this. Now take it out or I start screaming rape and murder.’

I had an impulse to get up and run, but something in the look of her eyes held me back. Or was it something in me? The whole situation was crazy, but it was extremely arousing at the same time. I slowly unzipped my fly and peeled the front of my briefs from my pulsating dick. It popped out against the bottom of the counter.

‘Show me.’

I looked around, then slowly straightened up a few inches, enough to allow her a glance at my exposed dick. I was shocked at how the white flesh contrasted against my dark blue trousers and quickly hunched over again.

‘OK. Now let’s see you jerk off.’

I had fantasized about this. An angry woman finding sadistic pleasure in humiliating me. Forcing me to do things for her sole enjoyment.
But this was different. This was real.

‘I’m sorry,’ I mumbled while I quickly zipped up and rushed out of the bar.

Act II: Where she subdues me

I slammed the door of my room shut with my shoulder and slid down to the floor, tears rolling down my face. Oh my god oh my god oh my god, what a fool I’d made of myself. My chest felt like it was about to burst with emotion, a wild myriad of contradicting feelings that clashed and roared inside me.

What had happened down there? Why had I acceded? And why had I crumbled? Was I so obvious? A soaring pain ripped through a core in me I had long forgotten. Images of my mother came and went, I could hear her shrill voice calling out my name in blind rage. I needed someone to hold me, to hug me tight and let me sob my heart out on her chest. But I was alone.

The phone rang. The room was dark, but I didn’t want to turn on the light. I inhaled deeply and got up to feel my way along the wall until I reached the bed. I sat down and picked up the phone, not even wondering who it could be.

‘Yes?’

‘Room 304. And make it snappy.’

She hung up. I sat in the dark, confused.

The sharp tone, the commanding take-for-granted attitude. I had wanted it to be her. She must have gotten my room number from the bartender.

It wasn’t that I was appalled. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go. I knew that I would the moment she gave me the order. But I was nervous and afraid. Never before had I met a woman who had looked through me with such ease and pinpoint accuracy. She had smelled my susceptibility like a feline smells its prey. And I, the prey, was too spellbound and awestruck to run for dear life.

My knees were shaking when I knocked at the door marked ‘304’. Nothing happened for a while and I had a good mind of running back to the elevators, but then the door opened slowly.

She was still wearing the suit but had taken off the black stockings and sported a pair of spongy white slippers which contrasted with her stern and short manner. She looked me up and down like she was surprised to see me.

‘Yes?’

‘Uhm, it’s me. From the bar. You… ’

‘What do you want?’

‘I… you called. You said I should…’

‘I know what I said. I asked you what you want.’

‘Uhm… I don’t know. I-I just came. B-because you told me to.’

I never saw the hand coming. It slapped me right across the left check. My head was jerked sideways violently and I almost lost my balance. I stared at her in disbelief, rubbing my enflamed check. Before I could react, she grabbed my tie, turned around and dragged me into the room. I stumbled after her, trying hard not to fall flat on my face.

The woman towed me into the sitting area of a large suite, where she released me and sat down on the couch. I looked around in awe. This was nothing like the crummy standard room I was staying in. To the right, a double door gave into a bedroom where an enormous bed with scores of plush cushions in assorted colours and patterns stood tall on a raised platform. To my left a Louis XV desk stood between two French windows. The soft light from a corner lamp next to the sofa gave the room a sense of coziness and home.

For a while the woman just sat there and scrutinized me with a stare so intense that I had to turn my eyes down.

‘That was for running out on me in the bar.’

‘I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. It’s just…’

‘What?’

‘I… I was overwhelmed. Nothing like this has ever happened to me.’

‘You’re chicken shit, that’s what you are. You spend your nights jerking off on the fantasy of a woman taking control, but when you run into one who actually does it, you shit your pants. You men are all the same.’

How could she know so much about me?

‘OK, let’s try this again. And no hick-ups this time. Either you do as I say, or you forget we ever met. I don’t waste my time with chicken shits. Understood?’

I gulped, then nodded.

‘Good. Now take your clothes off.’

She stood up and walked to the French windows behind her to close the curtains. She did it slowly and deliberately and didn’t seem to be in a hurry to check if I was obeying. She took it for granted that I had come to get laid.

I wasn’t sure what to do. I didn’t like being taken for granted. Yet I found her boldness and commanding attitude extremely exciting. Even the slap in the face, offending as it had been, had added to my sexual arousal. Still, I was not prepared to trade my dignity for sexual pleasure. I had often fantasized about a woman like the one before me, domineering and demanding, ruthlessly imposing her will upon me. But that was fantasy. In real life, I had my pride.

‘I… I think I should go.’

She jerked around with an angered look on her face, although I seemed to detect the faintest hint of an amused smirk. I was shaking like a leaf when she stomped back across the room and planted herself in front of me. Even in high heels she barely reached my shoulders. I looked down at her as defiantly as I could, although inside I was exploding with a myriad of contradicting feelings. Hurt pride, fear, fascination, sexual lust. My knees were trembling out of control.

To this day I don’t know what came over me. I guess my sexual arousal got the best of me in the end, or maybe I was just plain intimidated by her will force. Everything about this woman said that she was not one to take ‘no’ for an answer.

Tears flooded my eyes as I mechanically took off my tie, unbuttoned my shirt, unbuckled my belt, pulled down my pants and took off my shirt. I folded my clothes neatly and placed them on the couch behind me before I faced her again in my undies.

‘I said naked. Everything, down to the socks.’

Her eyes were spitting fire. There was a determination in her that I was unable to match with any degree of mental or emotional strength I was trying to muster. I was simply shaken by her directness and forcefulness. I stripped down to naked skin.

‘Does this excite you?’

My dick was pumping furiously and I hated myself for it. I would never have dreamed of being in a situation where a limp dick in front of a woman was actually a matter of pride.

Her hand lashed out at my dick and hit it square across the side, sending it swaying left and right. It was a ludicrous sight, which added a painful sense of self-consciousness to the sharp pain that made me double up.

‘You realize you have a lot of ass kissing to do before that thing is going to get what it came for, don’t you?’

She looked at me expectantly, but I had no clue what she wanted me to do so I lowered my eyes to escape from her forceful stare. She grabbed my hair and forced me down on my knees.

‘Do I have to tell you everything? Isn’t there the tiniest bit of initiative in you, somewhere?’

It hadn’t occurred to me to take her words literally, but it dawned on me now that she had meant exactly as she’d said. Kissing a woman’s ass was one of my hottest fantasies. I couldn’t believe I was actually kneeling before a woman who demanded it from me.

The woman took off her jacket and looked down at me through the cleft between her huge breasts. Her face barely made it past her protruding belly from which her skirt draped down, the hem almost touching my nose. Her hands were on her broad hips and she was standing with her legs slightly apart. From my position on the floor she looked like a giant to me.

‘That’s what’s wrong with men nowadays. No imagination, no creativity. ’

She rolled her eyes and sighed as she turned around and gathered her skirt around her waist. She was wearing a pair of white cotton briefs that stretched around her broad ass as she bent over. The elastic bands cut into the thick white flesh of her thighs which were fat and dimpled.

‘OK, you can start kissing now.’

She spoke the words in a slow drawl with a distinct tone of disappointment and a hint of boredom. One side in me desperately wanted to please her, while the other fought to maintain a sense of dignity. After a short hesitation, I moved in slowly and placed a cautious kiss on the white fabric covering her left buttock.

‘Come now, I didn’t tell you to peck my ass like it was your auntie’s cheek. Either I get some real passionate ass kissing done, or you can kiss my ass goodbye while you’re down there.’

Just moments ago I had been ready to leave, but now in the face of this broad ass planted firmly in front of my face, I knew I wasn’t ready to let the occasion slip by. I quickly planted a series of long and hard kisses on the stretched fabric in front of me, jumping keenly from cheek to cheek.

‘Lower. Get down lower. And don’t be afraid to kiss my crack, that’s where I like it best.’

I steered my kissing southward, rounding the curve of her protruding ass and tilting my head sideward to reach the bottom of it. I could hear the woman breathing heavily above me and her ass started to move slowly up and down over my lips.

‘I said kiss my crack. Kiss me right in the crack of my ass. Now!’

She didn’t wait. I felt her hand on the back of my head pushing me into her, and before I knew it my nose and lips were wedged deeply into the crease between her buttocks.

Even through the fabric I caught a sweetish whiff of her fragrant ass hole aroma, mixed with a hint of sweat and fishy muff. It wasn’t a nice smell, but I found it sexy and highly stimulating. I kissed her dark depths with unsuspected fervour, driving my face ever deeper into her broad behind.

Act III: Where she takes me

I didn’t register the sound at first. It seemed like the faint rumbling of a far away thunder storm. It was when I breathed in the bitter foulness that I realized the woman had just farted in my face. I pushed back in disgust, but the hand on my head kept me in place for another burst of toxic gas before I managed to struggle free and dropped onto my back on the floor.

‘W-what did you do that for?’

The woman had turned around, her skirt still crumpled up around her broad waist. She was looking down at me with undisguised anger in her face, her fists on her hips, her elbows pointing outward, her immense bosom swaying back and forth as she fumed with rage.

‘Who said you could stop?’

‘B-but… you were farting.’

‘So?’

‘So? You can’t just fart into people’s faces.’

‘Why not?’

‘It’s… it just isn’t done. It’s rude.’

‘What makes you think you can come in here and tell me what I can and can’t do? I feel like farting in your face, I fart in your face. What are you going to do about that?’

‘I-I don’t have to stand for it.’

‘And why should I have to stand for you flashing your dick at me in the bar? Now that’s rude if you ask me.’

‘B-but… you told me to.’

‘Cut the crap and get your face back into my ass. I’m not done with you.’

Saying this, she pulled down her briefs, stepped out of them and straddled my head, holding up her skirt. It was an impressive sight from where I was on the floor, her massive bulk hovering high above me, the fat belly jiggling as she adjusted her position. Her cunt was a thick bush of black curly hair, broad and dense at the top, narrowing down into a thin line before it disappeared into the slit of her ass. She looked down at me, grinning.

I didn’t like that grin. The anger earlier on I could understand, but the grin forebode something that I somehow felt was not designed for my enjoyment. I tried to slide from beneath her, but she planted her slipper on my forehead and pushed my head back down.

‘Don’t you dare move.’

My body was shaking with a strange mixture of fear and anticipation, but whatever she had in store for me was not immediately revealed.

‘Let’s make this interesting. Stay as you are, I’ll be right back.’

The woman disappeared into the bedroom and I heard her rummaging in a drawer. Seconds later she was back, holding a piece of string in her hand. The skirt was gone. She straddled my legs and squatted over my lap, where my erection was still swaying like a flagpole in a sturdy breeze. I felt a ticklish sensation between my legs and when I looked down my chest, I saw that she was tying one end of the string around my balls, pulling the noose so tight I cringed and groaned in pain. When she stood up, she had the other end of the string in her left hand.

She shuffled forward with one foot on each side of my body until she was straddling my head again. After a short pause with more grinning, her ass came crashing down on me. The bush of her cunt split like the Red Sea before Moses and two thick chocolate-coloured cunt flaps pushed out, warped and wrinkled, opening a large dark gash that continued backwards in the measure that she squatted further down, revealing a hairy asshole nested deep between her powerful buttocks.

My nose slid right into the fat crack of her ass and was crushed painfully before she controlled her inertia and resettled. The dark gash of her cunt was right above my eyes, a clear thick slime dripping onto my lips. The smell was impressive, to say the least. Hot damp air exuded out of its depths, rich with the fermented stink of muff and stale urine. I could almost feel it seeping into my lungs as I breathed it in, clouding my thoughts with fear and excitement.

‘I wasn’t going to do this to you, but you leave me no choice. It would all be so easy if you just did as you’re told. But no, you have to be an unruly prick who doesn’t know how to please a woman.’

She shifted her ass above me until I was looking straight at the dark brown wrinkled slit of her ass hole, neatly circled by tufts of black coarse hair, just inches above my lips. The fierce gash of her fat cunt was now dripping on my forehead.

There is something strangely intimate and endearing about the physical closeness of a woman’s asshole. Truly it must be one of the most mysterious and less explored parts of the body, fraught with taboo. I’ll never forget the smell, thick and sweet with nutty undertones. I fell in love with that smell right there and then. Not that it was in any way a nice or agreeable aroma, far from it. It was just so … intimate. And penetrating. I had never felt so close to a woman in my life. It was a feeling I would soon become addicted to.

Most impressive though was the visual aspect. My complete field of vision was occupied by the fat ass crouching over me. Nicely embedded in a dimple inside the spread crack, at its lowest point and closest to my face, the tender brown wrinkles of her asshole seemed to reach out to me. I could make out its finest detail, the thin vertical slit where the wrinkled skin seemed to dive into, the tiny specks of dried shit like a fine powder inside the wrinkles, the fine curly hairs surrounding it. It seemed a perfect thing of beauty to me despite its obvious uncleanliness.
The asshole started to pucker out, as if intending to plant a kiss on my lips. It collapsed into itself only to pucker out again, with more force. I felt strangely drawn to the seemingly breathing orifice. I wanted to kiss it with a passion that I never knew I had.

Suddenly, the slit widened and hot air hissed into my mouth. A foul smell of fresh shit invaded my lungs and I had to suppress an urge to cough. For a reason that I am to this day unable to fathom, I was not grossed out by it this time. In fact, I felt like I was receiving the kiss of life. It seemed that this puckering breathing mouth was blowing life in its purest form into me. I closed my eyes and breathed in until I was dizzy.
The asshole had stopped hissing and I could now perceive a faint crackling sound. I opened my eyes and saw a brown round knob pushing slowly through the wrinkled slit, stretching it wide. The smell of shit was formidable now, penetrating my mouth and nose and filling my lungs. I was still in a daze, mesmerized by the closeness and blunt intimacy that was being shared with me, and it wasn’t until the slimy warm tip of a massive turd started to slide in between my lips that I realized what was taking place here.

The woman was shitting into my mouth!

The situation at hand was really so completely irrational and out of this world that I was too perplexed to react. My mind was running in circles, trying to comprehend the mental and emotional mechanisms that could have moved her to conceive an act as gross and humiliating as the one she was perpetrating on me.

It was the bitter sting of shit taste burning on my tongue as the turd slid further into my mouth that finally broke me from my trance. I didn’t dare close my mouth with that …thing sticking out, as biting into it would really unleash the full impact of the flavour and nothing would ever wash it out. I moved my head to one side to spit it out onto the carpet, but the woman’s hand was on my forehead and kept me nailed neatly in position for her to finish dumping her load into me, no matter how hard I fought.

‘Lie still, you’re going to make a mess. Let’s do this as nice and clean as possible, OK?’

The turd slid further into my mouth, curling up against the back of my throat and filling my bucal capacity to the brim. With a horrific grunt, the woman tensed her ass and pushed the end of the turd out, which slowly and majestically collapsed and folded over my nose. The woman rose to her feet and looked down at me, still straddling my face which was now crowned with a steaming curled brown sausage of questionable origin.

‘Oh my, what a beautiful sight you are. This is sooo hot.’

Her right hand was fingering her wet crotch, three fat fingers pumping furiously in and out, spraying my face with thick drops of cunt slime.
‘Come on, eat up, I have more of that coming.’

I looked up at her in horror. It was one thing to let her crap into my mouth (I still couldn’t believe I actually had), truly she couldn’t expect me to swallow it too?

‘I swear you’re not going to waste a perfectly fine dump. Come on, I want to see you eat it. Start chewing!’

The sheer glee on her face was a measure of how much she was enjoying this. I on the other hand was barely breathing through my congested nose, the awful taste had numbed out the entire inside of my mouth, and above all I was deeply shaken by the humiliation of finding myself in the painful situation of having a fellow human dumping the foul contents of her bowls into my mouth.

For some weird reason my mother came to mind, specifically how she had always lectured me on how gross it was to speak with your mouth full. Although I felt completely justified in dismissing her advice in this precarious situation, I found I was unable to speak as my jaws had gone into a painful cramp from the numbing bitterness in my mouth. I shook my head instead with a pleading look.

The only response from the woman above me was a tug at the string in her left hand, and I almost screamed in pain as my balls caught fire. I guess it all came down to which sensation I considered worse. I had no choice but to start chewing on the turd in my mouth. It was surprisingly hard and dry, but saliva was flowing copiously and I soon had it mashed up in a soft mush that I could swallow in bits.

I almost choked on the first ball of mushy shit I swallowed. I felt it burn all the way down into my stomach. All the while, the woman stood above me pumping her vagina with her hand, her eyes clouding over with an ecstasy I could not quite take a share in, but nonetheless enflamed me into a most confounding feeling of extreme arousal. I had no time to ponder on that, though, as the constant pull on my balls forced me to focus on the consumption I had been tasked with. I worked down the shitty load in my mouth in under a minute.

‘Is it gone? Show me.’

I opened my mouth.

‘Good boy. Come here, let me feed you some more.’

She crouched down onto my face again and immediately started pushing. A thin stream of a warm liquid started to trickle on my forehead. The woman shifted her dripping cunt over my mouth. A thick stream of piss started to gush from between her cunt lips, splattering straight into my eyes before she adjusted her aim and continued to piss into my open mouth.

The warm liquid soothed the stinging bitterness in my mouth and I gulped it down thirstily. While she pumped the last squirts out, the tip of a new turd already started to push through her asshole. Her cunt still dripping, she tilted her pelvis forward to positioning her pregnant asshole over my mouth again and immediately started pushing.

The second turd was smaller, thinner and softer. It slithered out of her asshole like a slimy eel and splashed against the back of my throat with a wet thud. In quick succession, three more shitty eels stringed into my mouth until I was full again. She finished with a wet splutter of foamy farts, dripping a clear brownish slime.

Act IV: Where she uses me

Still squatting over me, the woman reached for my shirt on the couch beside her and inserted it into her ass crack to wipe herself. It was all crumpled and smeared when she tossed it on the floor beside my head.

‘Oh my, this makes me all wet and horny. I could just fuck you.’

She fell forward onto her outstretched arms and pushed her ass backwards, spearing herself onto my unwavering erection. I felt myself slide into her soaking cunt all the way down to my tied up balls. In fact, it felt like she was swallowing me up balls and all.

‘Come on, be a good boy and eat up. I want to see you chew on my shit while I fuck you.’

I could have refused. I could have spat it out and buckled her off me. I could have kicked her in the face, grabbed my clothes and made a run for it. I did none of those things. Her face was so radiant with pure pleasure, her hips were pumping up and down on my dick that was so hard it was painful, and I was very close to climaxing. There was something extremely intoxicating, in a sexual as much as in an emotional sense, about being forced to eat this woman’s shit while she was getting off on seeing me do it. I forgot about the taste, the smell and the humiliation. I chewed and swallowed like a madman, all the while looking her straight in the eyes. Her own eyes started to roll upwards in their sockets, her eyelids fluttering while she let out a hoarse growl that would have frightened a lion in the wild. I myself felt a massive climax rolling like a flood wave through my body towards my hips, which were jerking uncontrollably in a futile attempt to withstand the furious pounding of the fat ass on top of it, nailing it back down to the floor with every thundering hump.

Before I could unleash the full force of my tattered emotions in climax, the woman unplugged herself from my twitching hips and with one sweeping motion slid her massive body forward until my face was buried deep inside her gaping cunt. I had not finished downing the second part of her dump and I had trouble breathing, trying to fill my lungs every time my nose slid out over the top of the grinding cunt with no time to relieve it first of the spent air. The woman on top of me was oblivious to my predicament as she noisily rode herself to an almost unending series of savage climaxes, smearing my face and her cunt with a slimy mixture of her own vaginal and intestinal excretions.

Act V: Where she dispatches me

She remained immobile on top of me for what seemed like an hour, breathing heavily. My face was still deeply embedded in her twitching cunt, but I had swallowed enough of the shit in my mouth to draw in fresh air if I lowered my jaw and stretched my lower lip beneath the rim of the thick outer cuntlips. It meant breathing in hairs from her battered cunt, but that seemed the least of my problems.

I’m not sure what I expected when she finally got up. I was an emotional wreck, wrought with feelings of need, guilt, humiliation and frustration. She disappeared into her bedroom without a word or even looking back at me. I heard the shower come on.

I wasn’t sure what to do. Could I join her in the shower? Should I wait here for further orders? Should I dress and leave before she came back?
I had not climaxed. My dick was so hard and it was twitching wildly, I felt that if I touched it I would immediately ejaculate. I wanted to cum desperately, but I wanted it to be with her, to melt into her until not a single shred remained that I could call my self.

When she came out of the bathroom, she was wearing a bathrobe and her hair was wrapped in a towel. She was about to lie down on the bed, but then she saw me sitting on the floor and stepped out into the sitting area. Although just minutes ago she had fucked the living daylights out of me, her attitude was of a coldness and distance that hurt me almost physically.

‘What are you still doing here?’

‘I-I thought…’

‘I’m through with you. You can go. Close the door behind you as you leave.’

She retraced her steps towards the bedroom.

‘B-but… don’t you… can’t I…’

She turned around in the double doors.

‘What?’

The annoyed look on her face made it clear that I was outstaying my welcome. I suddenly became painfully aware of the stickiness on my face and the sharp taste of shit in my mouth. Certainly I couldn’t be a sight inviting to tenderness and love, even if it was she who had rendered me in this state. Indeed the most graceful outing would have been leaving while she was still in the shower.

But I wasn’t ready to completely let go of her. Not that I was in any way keen on a repetition of what had transpired in this room tonight. Still, all the crude intimacy along with her unbridled exigency had carved this woman into a special place inside my heart. She had touched something in me that I hadn’t known existed and that to this day I am unable to name or even fathom.

‘W-will I see you again?’

‘No.’

Just that. No.

‘I… I’ll look for you in the bar tomorrow.’

‘I won’t be there.’

‘I want to see you again.’

‘I see no reason for that. I got what I needed from you. There’s nothing else I need that you can give me.’

I wanted to talk, to empty my heart at her feet, get all these conflicting feelings out of me. She had torn me apart inside and I needed her to put me together again. I knew I was making a fool of myself. I suddenly felt like I was falling through a bottomless pitch dark hole. How could I have been so foolish to let her have her way with me, to allow her to use me for her own selfish pleasure, to let her shit into my mouth and even gulp it all down, and expect her to be thankful for it?

I was close to tears and knew I had to pull myself together in order to walk out of here with at least some dignity. I put on my clothes, including the stained shirt, and walked to the door holding my head up high. With the door in my hand, I turned around. She was still standing in the bedroom door. I wanted to say something before I left, to show her I was touched, but strong. Somehow I needed her to know that.

‘By the way, my name is Peter. It has been a pleasure.’

With that, I stepped into the hallway and shut the door behind me.

Act VI: Where she slightly redeems me

I looked left and right down the hall, which was empty. I walked left to the end of the hall and climbed up the emergency stairs. I didn’t really care if I should run into someone, but it would have been more embarrassing than I could stand right now to ride up in an elevator with someone in the state I was in.

When I reached my room, the phone was ringing. I ignored it and stepped into the bathroom to start a bath and wash my face. The phone stopped ringing after a while, but almost immediately it started again. I knew then it was her. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone, much less to her, but something moved me to pick it up.

‘Listen, I know I am a cold selfish bitch. I’m not apologizing for that, that’s just who I am. But I want you to know that I am appreciative of what you did for me tonight.’

I wasn’t sure what she was trying to say or why she was calling me, but I sure wasn’t going to be vulnerable again with her.

‘You’re welcome.’

‘Few men have taken it with as much class and dignity as you did.’

She paused, waiting for an acknowledgement of her gesture with me. I said nothing.

‘You must not be ashamed of anything you did or felt tonight. You have pleased me, and that is something you should be proud of.’

Another pause, met by silence. I wanted to believe that, but it wasn’t easy.

‘I am not easily pleased.’

‘I noticed that.’

‘So I’m a bit eccentric. Listen, what I really wanted to say to you is that if I dispatched you the way I did, it is not because I wasn’t pleased with you.’

‘You could have fooled me.’

‘OK, you have a right to be pissed. But you stood me up at the bar earlier tonight. I had a right to be pissed too.’

‘Let’s not go into that again.’

‘You‘re right. Listen. I usually don’t do this, but if you want to we can meet again.’

‘What for?’

‘I don’t know. Whatever-I-feel-like for.’

‘Does that include more of the same?’

‘Do you want it to include that?’

‘I don’t know. It’s all so confusing.’

‘See, that’s why I usually stick to one-night-stands. You men always muddle things up. You don’t know what you want.’

‘That’s what they say about women.’

‘That’s what men say about women. Because you don’t understand what women want. You think women want the same you want, and when you find out they don’t, you say they don’t know what they want. The truth is that women know exactly what they want, and most men just don’t have it.’

‘That’s an interesting take. I hadn’t thought about it that way.’

‘OK, I have to get some sleep now if I want to be fresh for tomorrow’s meetings. Listen, here’s the deal. Why don’t you think about what you want, and if what you want is to please me, look me up in the bar tomorrow at 6 PM sharp. I can’t promise I’ll be there, and if I do come I’m not going to wait for you. Don’t come if you’re not sure. If you’re there, I’m taking for granted that what you want is to please me, in any way I feel like being pleased.’

‘Sounds fair.’

‘This is not a marriage proposal, OK? I’m not even saying I’ll be there at all. Maybe I’m just not in the mood and you’ll not find me. Don’t come to my room if I’m not in the bar, and don’t call me.’

‘OK.’

‘And by the way, my name is Gertrude.’

I hung up before she did. A small victory I immediately felt bad about. Somehow I sensed she’d had to overcome something very fundamental within herself to make this call. She was a hurt and tortured soul just like I was.

The taste in my mouth no longer bothered me, but I brushed my teeth anyway and gargled until I felt confident about my breath again. Then I undressed and stepped into the bath tub. My dick was still erect and the string was still tied around my balls. The moment I untied it, my stiff dick started convulsing and spouting thick globs of sperm into my face and onto the wall behind me.

My sudden ejaculation was something of an anti-climax and it didn’t bring the emotional release I expected from it. It would have been different if Gertrude had been here.

Gertrude. Who was she really? And what was it about her that so attracted me to her?

I lay back in the tub and thought about what I wanted…

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