The Big Dick Auction
The biggest dick bids the most at the auction…….
First, there was an ad about it in the Vegas Sun, clearly stating:
Attention, all men with big dicks. Felix Entertainment, a new porn-based motion picture, is seeking three male porn stars, who are to be chosen at the coming Big Dick Auction to be held on 6 July at Hermes Hotel. If you think you have a dick that big enough, please visit our website below for more information.
Jeremy placed the newspaper down on the bar table and looked at his pal seated beside him. “Have you seen this big dick ad in the Vegas Sun?” He asked Taylor who was sipping a glass of beer slowly.
“Big dick ad?” Taylor’s eyes stuck out. He was on the verge of passing out. “What is this big dick ad, Jeremy?”
He allowed him a look at his newspaper. It furthermore read:
At the auction, three finalists will be selected, who will all bid for the highest prices. The biggest dick will fetch the highest bid, and the smallest dick will attract the smallest one.
“Shit!” Taylor expressed amusement. “I have never heard of anything like this before. Jeremy, are you serious you want to participate in this auction?”
He nodded his head, frowning simultaneously. “I have a big dick after all. Suzy made me aware about it every time we had sex.”
It was now Taylor’s turn to scowl. “Come on. This is not about Suzy. She is not going to be the judge at that auction or occupy any influential position.”
Jeremy scratched his beard, agreeing, “You are right. This has got nothing to do with what she thought about me. Still, I have faith in myself. I have a cock big enough to win this auction. I am three inches bigger than you, Taylor, don’t forget please.”
“Three inches bigger than me? You are definitely lying. Maybe back in the past, yes; but not anymore, my friend.”
Every morning in the coming days, Jeremy used to measure his cock before showering and proceeding his way to work. Whenever at work, he convinced himself his was the biggest cock in Las Vegas. He surfed all the porn sites featuring Las Vegas based porn kings and tried to see if he came anywhere close to their penis’ sizes. Fortunately enough, he did.
In no time, the news concerning that ad had scattered everywhere. He overheard his workmates chattering about it. One conversation went as follows:
“Pete, do you have any idea who has the biggest cock in our firm?”
Pete scratched his head, musing in silence. “It could be Bradley. He showed me his dong inside the toilet that time he contracted an STD. I swear–that dong was the biggest thing I have ever seen.”
Kane laughed at him. “You are wrong. It was a nice try anyway. It is not Bradley but Jeremy.”
Pete was struck with instant shock. “What? That poor guy? He looks as though he has nothing spectacular about him in my eyes. How are you so positive that he boasts the biggest dick in our firm?”
“I am not telling lies, hey. I saw his dick; I saw Bradley’s too. I compared the two……and Jeremy’s was the biggest.”
Pete seemed a bit disturbed. “That is surely strange news to me. I was not expecting to hear that.”
Kane chuckled. “It may be strange, but it is true, my friend.”
If Jeremy happened to wash in the shower with cold water, and his Willie shrunk small in the process, he would become restless with himself. He wished to see it in its natural hugeness every second. He often touched it to check if it was still there–safe and sound, even while seated inside a public bus on his way to work.
An old woman who sat besides him one morning observed him do this and wondered quietly after scowling angrily at him.
Two weeks passed. Jeremy took excellent care for his penis like it was the most valuable thing to him next to his life. He bathed it gently, clothed it with clean and ironed underwear, and checked every morning after waking up to see if Taylor had not stolen it away from him. He even prayed for it every night before going off to sleep. His prayer went as follows:
“God, I ask you to look after my penis while I sleep. Allow no one to steal it from me. Not Taylor or anyone that I trust much and don’t even trust. Let no beg bug bite it and suck it if it becomes erect while I am in my sleep. If anything should happen to it, Lord, I sweat I will never pray to you again.”
The day for the interviews came. Jeremy was numbered Interviewee 136. It was a lady that questioned him, beautiful and clad in a black dress suit.
“Good morning, Mr. Sparks. I am Lily Meyer.” She greeted him cheerfully.
“It is my please to meet you, ma’am. It must have been God who chose that name for you because you are pretty like a rose.”
Lily helplessly smiled and then suddenly got serious. “I appreciate your flattery, Mr. Sparks. Nevertheless, let us get straight to business, shall we?”
“Of course, ma’am.”
“Tell me: What is the most precious thing to you in your life? Add a reason for it please.”
“It is my penis. Firstly, I use it to fuck beautiful ladies like you. Second, it is bigger than those dicks I usually see in porn movies. Thirdly, I use it to pee or urinate. Fourthly, without it I can’t make kids. Fifth, it is going to land me a porn career; I am convinced of that.”
Lily was stunned. She noted down what Jeremy had said anyway.
“How big is your penis, Mr. Sparks?” Lily now wore a staid expression. She didn’t see it proper to be free and joking with Jeremy. His jokes oft got out of way.
“Big, I must say; very big. It definitely is way bigger than your man’s. Would you like to see it? I can show you even just a sample.”
Lily scowled at him, rolling her eyes furiously. “I don’t need to see it now. Time to strip will be coming soon. So please, don’t tell me what I need to do and what I must not do.”
“I was only trying to be nice, ma’am. You don’t need to be furious with me.”
She ignored his attention-seeking stunts. “How many women have your penis fucked?”
There was a long, deep silence. A minute passed. Lily stopped arranging papers that had scattered and stared up at Jeremy. His eyes unmoved from her.
“Must I repeat my straightforward question, Mr. Sparks?”
“No need to do that, ma’am,” was his immediate answer. “I am still counting the women I fucked. They are ninety-seven.”
Lily’s eyes swelled big like a pumpkin. “Ninety-seven women? Are you sure?”
Jeremy nodded his head quietly.
“Are they all women, or there are girls taken in?”
“Teen girls, young ladies, grannies.”
Lily’s eyes were fast reddening. “Tell me one thing, Mr. Sparks. Be honest, I beg you. Are you a male prostitute?”
He laughed, then fell silent and leaned close towards her. “I am not. For you, I am willing to be one. Tonight, which is, baby.”