The Island, Chapter 14

Chapter 14

I staggered into camp a few minutes later, into the midst of chaos. The field hockey team looked armed for battle. They had spears and knives and were obviously preparing to hunt down the terrorist woman. Joelle’s head was bandaged, and the gauze was stained with red where it crossed the gash in her hair. A knot of people were gathered around the fire pit, arguing. When I walked out of the trees, conversation stopped for a moment, then everyone gathered around me. Joelle leaped on me, hugging me tight and crying silently. I held her as she calmed down.

“You’re OK!” she said joyfully. “God, I was so worried she would kill you!”

“I’m all right,” I told her, kissing her hair.

“But you’re bleeding!” she said, pulling away and inspecting me.

I was? I followed her gaze, twisting so I could look at my flank. My right hip and lower back had deep, parallel gouges about 4 inches long from the woman’s nails. Blood had dripped all over my butt and leg, but was now dried. I was in such a state, I hadn’t even realized the extent of my injuries.

“And your head!” she exclaimed. “You’ve got blood all over your forehead!”

It must have been where the log had glanced off me. I blotted at it with my hand, and it didn’t seem to be bleeding further.

“I’m OK,” I assured her. “I didn’t even notice it.”

Janie squeezed through the crowd. I could tell she was shaken, but was playing the strong leader. “Dave, you gave us quite a scare,” she said, her voice tremulous. She laid her hand on my shoulder. “What happened?”

“Where is she?” Alexis asked, a scowl marring her pretty features. “The hunters are ready to track her down. She doesn’t get to fuck with our people any more.”

“She’s gone,” I said simply.

“What do you mean?” Janie asked in confusion. “She escaped?”

“I guess in a way. She jumped off a cliff after I caught her. She fought me, and then she pulled away and jumped. She’s dead.” I didn’t feel like going into the details right now.”

I think Janie could tell there was something else going on; I was acting like a robot. She wisely decided to wait until I was ready to discuss it with her. “You’re sure she’s dead?”

“I couldn’t climb down to check, but her body was broken pretty seriously,” I recited in a monotone.

The word was passed from castaway to castaway, and cheers rang out throughout the crowd.

“I guess it’s for the best,” Janie said with a frown. “Now we don’t have to decide what to do with her. I guess justice was served in the end.”

“It’s karma, man,” opined Stu. “If you send so much negative energy out into the world, eventually it’s gonna catch up with you.” River and Dakota nodded seriously.

“It’s the wheel of destiny,” Rain said. “Humans don’t usually get to see it roll so quickly; it’s not concerned with our individual lives. But that’s what it is. Her crimes must have been bad enough to bring her fate faster than usual. She has no one to blame but herself.”

And me, I thought miserably, some of my acceptance slipping away. “This has been a little intense,” I said. “I’m going to clean up, then I think I’m going to lie down.”

“Dave, are you OK?” Janie said quietly. “What’s going on?”

“I’ll be all right,” I lied. “I just need a little time to process this.”

Mechanically, I walked to the stream and forcefully scrubbed off all the evidence of my encounter with the terrorist girl. I walked back to the beach naked, people kindly averting their eyes, and laid down in the shade. My overwrought brain turned itself off almost immediately.

I woke an hour or two later, by the look of the sun. Someone had covered me with a blanket. I squinted around. People seemed to have respected my wishes and left me alone. It looked like a framework of bamboo was being erected near the fire pit. The common shelter (mess hall?), I guessed. I sat up, gingerly. My head was ringing a little, but it was nothing compared to the churning in my conscience. I could see the appeal in believing that cosmic justice had been responsible for what had happened, but my role in her degradation and death was a little too personal for my comfort. I felt like I needed to talk this over with somebody, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak of this to Janie. God, what would she think of me? I decided to take a walk.

Slipping on some fresh pants, I slipped away from the busy beach to search my soul for some answers. I aimlessly wandered down the game trail, past the pool, and deeper into the jungle. Eventually I found myself at the clearing where Janie and I had made love that first time. The juxtaposition in my mind between that happy memory and my most recent sexual travesty almost sickened me. As I shambled into the grassy space, a beam of sunlight picked out a life-sized jewel in the center of the grass. I stopped, shaken, as I assessed what the hell I was looking at. Finally, as my eyes adjusted to the brightness, I saw what seemed like a vision to me, almost a religious visitation. A beautiful creature dressed in flowing orange and green silks was perched silently in the center of the clearing. She looked so peaceful and calm I felt better just being in her presence. The way the light shone in her clothing and reflected off her hair in a golden nimbus made her look like a medieval painting of a saint, or the Virgin Mary. Eventually I realized this was Anjali, the Indian woman who had boarded our flight in Johannesburg. She seemed to be meditating. I hesitated to disturb her, but something drew me to her.

I silently walked up and stood in front of her. She rested like a leaf on the grass, almost weightless, in a lotus position. Her eyes were closed and a serene expression blessed her face. Her breathing was almost undetectable. I waited in silence. Eventually her respirations quickened, and her eyes opened. She smiled at me.

“Mr. Connor,” she said. “ I thought you might come.”

“How….” I started to ask her, then just gave up on it. Larger forces seemed to be moving me around like a pawn on a chessboard.

“Sit down,” she said pleasantly.

The way I collapsed to the ground next to her serene pose made me feel like I was a gorilla next to a swan.

“You are troubled. Please tell me what is the matter.”

“I…I….,” I choked out, but couldn’t continue. Tears dripped from my eyes as I shook with sobs. Anjali sat clamly, neither judging nor giving me meaningless “there, theres.” In a way it was easier than if she had hugged and tried to comfort me. I ran down eventually and pulled myself together.

“I’ve done something terrible,” I began. “I don’t know how to tell you about it. I’m afraid you’ll judge me harshly. I judge myself harshly.”

“Something traumatic has happened to you,” she said. “Your energy is disturbed. You need to discuss it with me so I can help you regain balance.”

“I’m not sure you can help,” I said morosely.

“I am a yogi,” she said. “Do you know what that is?”

“Um, you’re really flexible?” How the fuck is that supposed to help?

A musical laugh pealed through the air. “No, Mr. Connor, that is yoga. In fact, the discipline of the physical body is one pathway toward enlightenment, but not the only one. I practice yoga, along with many other disciplines both physical and spiritual. As do my students. I am a yogi, a master of the energies of the subtle body. We endeavor to reach a state of enlightenment, a unity with the universe around us. Disturbances in the energies of the body must be corrected in order to achieve a higher state of consciousness. Teaching such advancement is my calling. What has befallen you is merely a ripple in the pond that is your existence. It can be overcome and your balance can be restored. Trust me when I tell you I will not judge you for your actions. How you correct the consequences of your actions, for yourself and those you have affected, is more important.”

I took a deep breath. The truth was, I was not handling this well on my own. I was not sure I couldn’t keep this secret forever without it eating me alive. I had to trust someone. Talking this out with a stranger seemed a lot better than admitting what I had done to a friend.

“I hurt a woman. Badly. In fact, I raped her. She killed herself,” I ground out.

“Perhaps you should begin at the beginning,” she said without a trace of anger or disgust. “I presume you are meaning the terrorist woman?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I didn’t wake up today planning to hurt someone. In fact, I had a discussion yesterday with someone about how I loved women and wouldn’t ever hurt them. I guess that was all a lie.”

“The true intentions of the heart are never a lie. Circumstances may alter the meaning of such a promise. Please continue.”

“Well, I haven’t interacted with her much. On the plane, I was the one who stopped her from doing her part to make the hijacking successful. I know she hated me for it. She tried to kill me then. A couple of days ago I tried to see if she needed any medical attention and she about bit my head off. I can’t say I really hated her. I mean, I hate what she had done to us, and she killed a bunch of people, but it almost seemed impersonal, or somehow removed from me.

“I don’t think I’ve been myself since the accident. I don’t seem to have the same level of concern that others have. I’m pretty convinced everything will work out all right. In fact, I seem to be more concerned with other things. Um, sexual cravings, actually.” I blushed, looking down.

“I had another, uh, event yesterday that disturbed me, and it’s been preying on my mind. This morning, I woke up still sort of confused, and then the woman attacked Joelle and hurt her. I knew I had to stop her. I didn’t have a plan–I just knew she needed to be caught, and we had to figure out what to do with her once and for all. When I caught up with her, we had words. She was just plain evil. Something in me changed. I wanted to hurt her, to punish her. More importantly I wanted her to punish herself. I wanted her to see herself as others saw her—a terrible person who had done terrible things.

“We fought, and the fight turned ugly. I ended up forcing myself on her. I … raped her. I wanted to break her spirit, and I did. She realized at last the horror of her actions, and it was too much for her. She jumped off a cliff.”

“Mr. Connor, did you know there is one particular way that all of the world’s major religions, in their pure form, whether they be Eastern or Western, are alike?”

“No,” I admitted.

“They all consider it important for one to realize the consequences of one’s actions. Whether you call it karma or divine judgement or any other term, those who care about such things recognize that the individual follows a path, and the turns that are taken on that path are the choices we make in life. Where we end up depends on those choices. Animals may blindly follow a path, or choose their course based upon immediate needs for food, shelter, or sex. Humans, being more advanced, may consider possible futures and choose their paths accordingly. But the enlightened individual is cognizant that these choices bring inevitable consequences, and that we must accept responsibility for those choices. If we do not like the path we are on, we may make new choices, and reverse course. Even an undesirable turn has a purpose, however. We may achieve an outcome that is ultimately beneficial even when it seems as if we have erred. This is the wheel of destiny, or karma, or the hand of God. There is a force beyond us that guides us even as we make our own choices. The universe has its own path, and all of our small existences cannot change the course of destiny. Thus some of our actions may serve to hurt us in the short term, but as we learn from them and overcome adversity, we may see that the universe has achieved a greater balance for our stumbling.”

“I’m not sure I can see much balance in what happened,” I told her.

“Let me ask you: what do you think would have happened if the woman had not run off?”

“We would have had a trial, and we would have probably decided that she would have to be executed. We couldn’t restrain her forever, and there was no way to exile her without endangering us further. And she was a murderer, with no remorse. She deserved to die,” I finished, trying to convince myself.

“Many are content to let the universe handle such events without interference. Even some great yogis and philosophers may feel that humans have no place in judging or punishing others. But that view ignores the harm that may come from inaction. Refusing to kill a fly because life is sacred may lead to an outbreak of disease that will kill millions. Is the result of such inaction somehow more desirable that the momentary acceptance of an unpleasant action such as killing the fly? I think not.

“I use this to illustrate a point,” she continued. “You say you cannot see the balance to which your actions may have led. I propose three benefits:

“First, you have prevented further bloodshed by protecting your people, your ‘tribe’ if you will, from an individual who is clearly not enlightened, and who is acting on animal instinct alone. Such an individual is even more dangerous that the fly that carries disease, because they have the intelligence of a human and may cause much more harm than the unconscious actions of the insect. How many did you save by stopping this woman? You cannot know.”

“Second, you have prevented the anguish and suffering of the individual whose responsibility it would have been to execute this woman for the good of the tribe. Such a person would have likely felt great remorse, as you do. To commit such an act without the heat of emotion is more difficult. Thus your timely intervention brought the suffering onto yourself, again benefitting greatly others of your ‘tribe.’”

“Finally, and most importantly, you gave a gift beyond measure to the woman herself.”

“What?” I said incredulously. “She’s dead! What kind of gift is that.”

“Think back to the question I asked you about religions. They all value awareness and acceptance of the consequences of one’s actions. This woman had no such awareness. She had done wrong, and was prepared to do further wrong, and did not accept the fact. She was in the lowest possible state a conscious being can attain. You, however cruel your actions may have felt, benefitted her greatly. You gave her the gift of enlightenment. She recognized her actions had harmed others, and in the last moments of her life, achieved a higher state of being. She chose to account for her wrongdoings herself, and punished herself, thereby removing the burden of retribution from you or someone else. Existence does not end with this life. It is eternal. If one may benefit for eternity from suffering in this life, it is to be greatly desired.”

I was speechless. I sounded crazy at first blush, but I could see her point. I did have more pity for the woman, and even a tiny amount of respect, knowing she had come to a realization of some kind in the moments before she died, and chose to take her own life to atone for her crimes. So maybe I had done some good. But what did it mean for my future? The fact that I was capable of such an act would torment me. I told Anjali so.

“I think you judge yourself too harshly. I also feel there are circumstances that may mitigate your actions which I will tell you of later,” she said. “I would first like to ask you: the person you think of as a rapist, he would take a woman by force for his own pleasure, would he not?”

“Yes, I guess so,” I said, thoughtfully.

“And this person would, after feeling the pleasure of satisfying his lust, wish to do so again and again, correct?”

“Yeah…”

“Then ask yourself the following two questions: Did you perform the act in question to satisfy lust, or to achieve another purpose? And were you rewarded with pleasure, such that you wish to commit this act again? In fact, can you imagine yourself doing this to any other woman? To me, for instance? After all, I am defenseless in front of you. We are alone. If you chose to take me by force I would not be able to stop you. Is this what you desire?”

“No!” I shouted. “God, no! I don’t ever want to go through that again. I guess I did have some purpose in mind. I wanted her to suffer and realize how she had hurt others. I wanted to break through that smug wall of hate and get her to see that she was a bad person. More important than me making her suffer, I wanted her to make her suffer.”

“So you see, you differ from the rapist of your imagining in that you did not take this woman by force for your pleasure. In fact you did so at great cost to yourself. You are actually the universe’s force of retribution for the woman’s actions. Her own choices led inevitably to this outcome. You are merely the instrument of destiny. There is no part of you that desires to force a woman to have carnal interaction with you. As do most people, you value the pleasure you bring to others in the act of physical love.

“You are not a bad person. You have committed a deed which under normal circumstances might be considered a terrible crime, but in fact by doing so you have righted a series of wrongs, prevented many other potential wrongs, and helped the woman leave this plane of existence in a better state than she had been in. There is no need to wallow in remorse. Dedicate yourself to making other’s lives richer and more pleasurable, and you will see yourself again as a positive force in this universe.

“And now I come to the matter of the circumstances I spoke of earlier that I believe mitigate your actions.”

“What would they be?” I asked skeptically.

“Have you ever heard of Kundalini?”

“Was he a magician?” I asked, confused.

She laughed her musical laugh again. “No, Mr. Connor. Kundalini is a primal energy source in the human body. It rests coiled in the pelvis. When activated it rises up the spinal cord, passing through the chakras in turn. An adept who awakens the Kundalini may achieve enlightenment and bliss. Unfortunately, when one who is unprepared has Kundalini awakened, it can be very disruptive.

“Tell me, have you found yourself confused, with altered sensorium? Have you had episodes of dizziness? Of tingling in the hands? Have you had increased or disturbed libido?”

I thought. “Well, since the crash I have felt occasional strange sensations of pressure in my head. I was dizzy early on but I thought that was from the head injury. I have also had some tingling in the hands, but not much. I pretty much always have an increased libido,” I said sheepishly. “But this morning’s episode certainly qualifies as disturbed.”

“I believe you have suffered an unprepared Kundalini awakening. It probably began at the time of the hijacking and plane crash. Traumatic events such as this are usually the cause. Of course, Western medical scientists such as yourself do not recognize the terminology we use; I presume you would call such an event ‘PTSD’ or ‘conversion disorder.’ The terminology is meaningless. The effects are real and I believe they explain the out of character actions you experienced this morning. Personally, I believe this was all part of the universe’s destiny for you to have Kundalini awakened, which would allow you to become the instrument of enlightenment for the young terrorist woman. In doing so, you have righted a great wrong and restored balance to our existence.

“How would you deal with someone with PTSD in a Western medical institution?” she asked.

“Mostly therapy—psychoanalysis. Drugs might be utilized to reestablish chemical balances in the brain.”

“And how successful are your colleagues with such an approach?”

“Well, they get most people better eventually. It may take years. And there are often relapses—flashbacks and things. Do you have a better way?”

“As a matter of fact, yes. As an adept, I have awakened Kundalini in myself. I strive toward controlled movement of the energy through my chakras. I hope to continue to achieve higher and higher states of consciousness as I progress. My goal is to achieve true enlightenment one day—what the Buddhists call Nirvana. However, this is not within your abilities. I can, though, help you to control the Kundalini energy and perhaps return it to its resting state. You may choose in time to reawaken it under controlled circumstances, but you would need to study the disciplines of the yogi to do so.

“To do this, one requires a physical energy of considerable power. Attempting to shock the system with another mental trauma would be terribly dangerous. Therefore we rely on achieving physical bliss to reestablish momentary control over the Kundalini energy. Reaching such a state will allow the body of even the non-adept to naturally restore the Kundalini to its resting position as your body returns to its normal energy state.”

“So how do you go about this?” I asked her, confused.

“Perhaps you have heard of the discipline of Tantra?”

“You mean Tantric sex? Like Sting?”

She smiled. “Yes. We have seen much interest in the practice since his comments were made public. He is certainly not an adept, but he shows a laudable recognition of the power of the discipline. The Tantric discipline is a manifold practice. True mastery requires years of dedication. I do not propose such a course for you. I propose to use some fairly simple techniques to allow you to regain control of the Kundalini energy. The power of a properly controlled orgasm may be sufficient to restore your energy to its natural balance.”

“Hey, don’t get me wrong, I love me some orgasm! And if you think it could put my brain on a even keel, I’m all for it. I’m not it the greatest of moods right now, though. I’m not sure this is the best time.”

“This will work to our advantage. A lack of arousal will allow you to achieve a slower, more controlled ascent of energy. Do you wish to do this?”

I looked at her. She seemed very sincere, as kooky as this all sounded. She certainly was a lovely woman, with shiny black hair tumbling over her shoulders, and even-toned, nut brown skin. Her eyes were wide and dark, slightly tilted and very deep as I looked into them. Her nose was adorned with a tiny diamond stud, and her full lips were slightly parted, revealing even, white teeth in a small smile. I could only guess at her figure, since it was swathed in yards of bright silk. Staring in her eyes, I felt a calm descend upon me. I trusted her.

“Yes,” I said. “If you can help me I would be very grateful.”

She stood up, seeming to flow upward from her lotus position until she was erect. She stood about 5’5”, but seemed taller because of the gravity of her prescence. “Remain seated, please,” she told me. “We will slowly prepare for union.”

She began unwinding the cloth of her sari, staring into my eyes the whole while. “Concentrate on your breathing. I know you have some training in this from the martial arts. Utilize what you have been taught to begin mastering your energy.”

I complied, shifting into the meditative breathing we learned in school, and positioning myself cross-legged with fists on knees. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Long, controlled inhalations and exhalations. As the last bits of silk fell from her body, my eyes left hers to roam over her naked beauty. Her breasts were full and heavy, but quite firm and nicely shaped. The large brown areolae were just above the equator of her boobs, giving the fat brown nipples in their centers a jaunty, upward angle that spoke of youth. She had thick underarm hair, still a novelty for me, which seemed natural against her dark skin. Her waist was narrow, and the gleam of a ruby marked her navel, a mysterious depression in her otherwise flat belly. She didn’t have the visible six-pack that Janie sported, but instead was smooth and soft, and yet still gave the impression of strength. She had a dense patch of wavy black hair covering her sex, and I could already smell her heady sexual perfume. Her legs were long and lean, with well-defined muscles. I guessed she would have pretty amazing flexibility and muscle control, being a yogi. I was trying and failing to control my breathing as I gazed in wonder at her gorgeous body. My pulse had risen and I was starting to get an erection already. I had lost control of my breathing and it had sped up to a near panting.

She stood quietly, with complete stillness, and let me squirm for a minute. “You must remember your martial arts training and control your breathing again. Focus on my breathing and keep yours at the same tempo.”

I watched her chest rise and fall, only slightly distracted by those magnificent mammaries. Focus, Dave! Slowly my breathing returned to a steady rhythm. I matched my pace to hers and forced my pulse to return to normal. I feeling of calm suffused me. With each exhalation I forced another muscle group to relax until I felt limp and at peace.

“Very good. Now slowly stand and disrobe, but maintain your control.”

I smoothly rose and made sure my breathing remained in sync with hers as I removed my pants and underwear. My penis popped out of my shorts, its rigid length pointing at her and bobbing with my pulse. I stood for a moment, controlling my arousal and making sure I did not allow my heart to race.

She stepped forward until we were lightly touching, her nipples brushing against me seductively, and my dick poking her in the belly. She smelled faintly of exotic spices, and her own clean but noticeable scent. I swallowed heavily. Normally at this point, I would be all over a woman, kissing and caressing her. I had to clamp down on my impulses. I was having some difficulty, and she noticed.

“Look into my eyes,” she said softly. “They truly are the windows to the soul. Concentrate on looking through my eyes and into my being. We must strive to become one as we join. Through achieving unity with each other, we begin to achieve unity with the universe around us.”

I stared into those black pupils, falling into them like endless tunnels. She pressed against me. “Feel my heart,” she whispered. I was able to feel her heart if I concentrated, the beat of it gently thumping my chest where we touched. “You must control your own heart as you control your breathing. You can slow your heart to match mine, and they will beat together.” Her voice was soft and hypnotic. I felt like the universe was expanding behind her dark pupils, expanding my brain along with it. I concentrated on our breathing first, and was able to sense the tide of respiration that we rode, flowing back and forth like waves breaking on a beach. I let my consciousness float and began to perceive our hearts beating, at first out of sync, but as I sank deeper into a shared state of being with her, I felt my pulse slow to match hers, and the subtle pounding in my ears seemed like a ceremonial drumbeat.

“Do not look away from my eyes. Retain your concentration on our shared breath and heartbeat. Now, raise your left leg and wrap it around me.” I did so, hugging her to me with the crook of my leg, now pressed against her soft buttocks. I felt her leg embrace me in a similar manner. Each of us was now standing one-legged, and supporting each other with our arms and one leg wrapped around the other.

“Slowly bend your right knee and lower yourself a few inches.” I did, and felt her raise herself on tip-toe at the same time. My dickhead was now nestled in her bush, the coarse hairs tickling my sensitive skin. I felt her hand gently grasp my meat and slide it into her warm vagina, slowly. A hiss escaped my lips at the exquisite embrace of her cunt. I continued staring into her eyes, and struggled to realign our breaths and pulses.

“Concentrate on the energy flowing between us,” she instructed. “You must ensure the energy flowing from you is the same as the energy flowing into you where we are joined. Do not think of the sex act as you normally do. Think of being one with me, not in me. Do not think of thrusting into me, think of just the sensations passing between us. Do not think of what will happen, only think of what is happening now.”

I did as she asked, my gaze locked on hers as my world shrank to a taut line between our joined eyes and our joined genitals. If I focused, I could feel the ridges of her vaginal walls ringing the shaft of my penis. I felt the moisture of her, and smelled her scent in my nose. Slowly her cunt began massaging me, a delicate sequence of contractions that I could feel flowing from the root of my cock to the tip. I almost closed my eyes, but thought better of it and continued staring into hers. The featureless black pools seemed to expand, and some part of me realized that this was a form of self-hypnosis we were engaging in, focusing on blankness, shutting out all but a few sensations. I marveled at the closeness of our bodies. I could feel the thin coating of sweat where our torsos pressed against each other. Our skin was at the same temperature, and it was hard to tell where I ended and she began.

Soon the waves of vaginal contractions reversed, and began flowing from the tip of my penis to the base. What incredible control! I thought Janie had an educated pussy. This chick blew her away in that department.

“Feel the flow of energy between us,” she continued in her soft, sing-song voice. “I pulled it toward me before, now I return it to you in equal measure. You must now try to do the same.”

I began to flex my own pelvic muscles, as if I were trying to finish peeing. The slight movements of my penis within her velvet tunnel were augmented by gentle, rhythmic contractions of my left leg. In my mind, I visualized myself slowly working my way further into her, then when I had reached as far as I could, began imagining myself shimmying back out again. She matched my rhythm, her muscles softly squeezing me in time with my motion, pulling toward her when I pushed inward, pushing away as I returned. I felt a warm glow begin in my groin, rising slowly through my center.

“Even now you begin to feel the Kundalini energy re-awaken,” she almost chanted. “As the prana rises through the central sushumna of the spinal channel, it opens the way for the Kundalini. The energy flows from the muladhara chakra at the base of the spine and rises through the svadhisthana and manipura chakras. As it does so, you will feel the heat of its passage rising within you. Electric tingling sensations begin to ascend your torso as each of the energy centers is activated.”

In my hypnotic state I really could feel the energy rising in me. A buzzing sensation filled me, and I literally felt the current turning on as each energy center was activated, the electric sensations shooting outward from my spine to my extremities. I felt a coolness of my palms and soles. As my energy level rose, so did Anjali’s, and I could feel the vibration of her body intensify. Our gentle movements slowly accelerated, increasing the friction between our nether parts. She was so warm and wet I felt like I was melting inside her. Never before had I experienced anything like this.

“As the energy passes through the analhata chakra in your chest, you feel the energy invigorate your heart and lungs.” I did, and my breathing became deeper, my heart pounding more forcefully. “We now allow our respiration and pulse to increase as we exchange more and more energy.”

Mine had begun rising on its own as the unfamiliar sensations coursed through my body, and she allowed hers to match them beat for beat and breath for breath.

“Soon you will feel the energy pass the vishuddi chakra at the base of the neck,” she intoned. “Your consciousness will expand and you will feel yourself part of the larger whole.”

I did. I could feel my brain expand like a balloon. I sensed the clearing around us, the tress around the clearing, the island around the trees, the sea around the island. It was extraordinary.

“Now the final stages of awakening begin,” she half-spoke, half-sang to me. I could feel the buzzing of her voice pass through her chest and into mine, resonating in me like bees in a bottle. “Kundalini passes through anja and resides in shagasrara, the crown chakra.”

I felt a warm sensation in my head, as if beams of light were pouring out of the top of my skull. A bar of hot energy seemed to exist from my now thrusting penis to the top of my head. Even as I perceived this, it transformed into a ring, the energy passing downward through her body and returning to me through her rhythmically contracting vagina. I felt the energy cycling, and as it passed through our genitals, it seemed to get boosted further. I imagined an electron orbiting a nucleus, each time around receiving a beam of photonic energy driving it to a higher state. It seemed as if I could feel Anjali’s sensations from within her body. I could feel the quivering of her pussy as my cock moved in and out of her as if I were the one receiving the thrusts. This was the unity she had spoken of! I could no longer distinguish which sensations were mine and which were hers. I felt a tightening in my balls and recognized the signs of impending climax.

“You must control your body at this time,” she cautioned. “Tighten the muscles of the root of your penis and stop the flow of physical energy from the testicles. Use the energy between us to repel the oncoming crisis and control it.”

I focused my attention through her dark eyes and down her center to reappear where I joined her. I began contracting the muscles of my pelvis in the same rhythm she had used at the beginning of our joining. This did stave off ejaculation, but I still felt the electric jolt and spreading warmth of orgasm. How was that possible; I came without coming?

“Now you may realize the power of Tantric sexual practice,” she said to me. “The energy of orgasm may wash over you, but it does not control you. You may decide when you will release the energy in ejaculation, thereby returning Kundalini to its proper resting place and renewing your balance.”

This was pretty fucking awesome! I thought as the glow of the orgasmic flare faded and dissipated throughout my body. I resumed my steady motion, my still rock-hard boner sliding in and out of her tender tunnel, the quivers of her own orgasm running through her at the same time. Beads of sweat broke out on both our bodies, and our skins slid fluidly against each other.

“Now we will alter our position to change the sensations,” she said. “Without losing your focus and control of your body, slowly disengage from me and assume a seated position. Do not look from my eyes.”

I complied, sinking on to my butt on the warm grass. My sensorium was so heightened, I felt every blade of grass, every pebble and grain of sand that I now sat on. My hand was still in hers, and our eyes still locked together, as she gracefully collapsed her body into my lap, her cunt unerringly swallowing my prick as she descended, resuming our mystical connection. Her legs wrapped around my ass, and her arms encircled my shoulders. I placed my hands on her back, feeling the warm, smooth skin, now slick with sweat.

She began a gentle rocking motion, each pendulum swing of her body forcing me deeper inside her. Again, our bodies were so attuned to each other, I could feel each fold of her cunt individually as it slipped wetly past the edge of my helmet.

In this way her fantastic body brought us both to another orgasm, and I was again able to control myself and prevent release. Each time this happened, my body seemed to enter a higher state of awareness, as if the energy of the orgasm were filling me and somehow expanding me with each wave that flowed through us.

“Now you may close your eyes,” she said softly. “Remain focused on the point of our joining and retain our spiritual connection as we retain our physical connection.” I closed my eyes as she said, and instead of the candle in the mind I focused on during my usual infrequent meditation, I focused on the solid muscular cylinder of my penis as it filled the hollow muscular tube of her vagina. “Lean back and rest your weight on your arms behind you,” she instructed. I did, changing the angle of penetration. I felt how this increased the pressure on the front of her vagina, while at the same time allowing her to slide just a little farther on to me, pressing her erect clitoris against my pubic bone. She increased the tempo of her rocking and such was our unity of consciousness I could feel her increased pleasure from the new position as an increase in my own pleasure. I felt a nipple brush my lips, and without opening my eyes, opened my mouth to accept it. I suckled the thick nub, my heightened senses perceiving first the salty taste of her sweat, and then the slightly bitter taste of her breast’s secretions. My tongue caressed the fleshy bullet, feeling the pebbly, firm texture of the nipple itself, the puckered disk of the surrounding areola with its little bumps around the perimeter, and finally the smooth skin of the surrounding breast. I reveled in the sensations, deriving as much happiness from her increased arousal as I was from the rapidly rising sensation in my groin. As before, she brought me to the brink of explosion, and I was able to hold back once more. Unlike the sweet torture of yesterday’s experience with the field hockey girls, I felt no pain from the withholding of ejaculation, only increased pleasure.

Again she directed a change of position, leaning back herself until she was resting her weight on her own arms behind her back, just as I was. We were now only touching at the genitals, and where her legs wrapped around my back. She instructed me to place my right leg in front of her, laying it across her lower body. This had the effect of pressing her deeper onto my erect cock. I was propped on my left elbow, my right hand holding her hip and guiding her onto me as she directed her thrusts down the axis of my prick, deeply penetrating her cunt with each movement. I watched, mesmerized, as my engorged cock slipped in and out of her dark brown, meaty lips, their fleshy folds enveloping my member in an insanely erotic genital kiss. I was in a state of bliss so complete I didn’t think it could be equaled, but my sexual master soon taught me otherwise. We rode one more wave of mutual pleasure together in this position, then she asked me to lie on my back.

Using her incredible flexibility and strength, she maintained penetration while having me draw me knees up as high as I could, as if doing a cannonball with my legs spread wide, lying on my back. She then spun on my penile axis, turning her back to me and raising her own knees to her chest. She was now curled up in a ball, balanced on my cock, my legs folded up one on either side of her like an armchair. I reached out and grasped her ample hips, admiring the crack of her ass as it dove down to meet my pubes below her. Once again she commenced her internal massage of my prick, those talented muscles churning away on my throbbing member. She began a circular rocking action, leaning her weight back and forth, side to side, increasing the friction between our dripping genitalia. The heavenly sensations were soon augmented as I felt gentle fingers stroking my balls and asshole, idly rolling the sperm-filled ovals to and fro and massaging our combined secretions into the sensitive ring of my anus.

“It is time now,” she said. “Let yourself rise to completion as the next wave of energy courses through you.”

This wasn’t a wave, I thought. This was a tsunami coming! After at least 4 mini-orgasms without ejaculation my balls were as full as they have ever been. They tightened in her hand as she tickled them, and I could feel her other hand moving busily in her own bush, stroking her clitoris frantically as her own climax approached. An explosion of heat and light blew through my brain, and I’m not sure if I had an out of body experience or just blacked out momentarily from the intensity of the orgasm that ripped through me. I felt my body convulse repeatedly as I sent jet after jet of steaming cum shooting into her writhing pussy. I could feel her contractions acutely as she came on top of me, and heard her short gasps of breath as she rode her own wave of sexual energy to a momentous orgasm. A gush of fluid enveloped my sack as she let loose a torrent of juice from her cunny. The volume of our combined ejaculate was such that I felt as if a bucket of warm honey had been poured over my balls.

I rode this intense wave for nearly a minute, feeling every one of my muscular contractions as a velvet sledgehammer of pleasure battering against me. So close was our spiritual connection at this time, the feelings were doubled as I experienced each one of her contractions as if they were my own.

Slowly our bodies relaxed, her weight gently falling back on me as she lay on her back on my chest, her head nestled next to mine on my shoulder. My softening cock was still clenched in her vagina, and I felt her milking the last drops of semen from it with her amazing muscles.

“I think you will find the Kundalini energy has returned to its resting place, and you will now be at peace,” she half-whispered into my ear, her warm breath tickling me.

I couldn’t speak, but I realized something had indeed changed. I felt more alive, but paradoxically more calm at the same time. The fog that had enveloped me for the last few hours was gone. As the roaring in my ears subsided, and the hairs on my head, which had been standing on end, slowly settled back onto my scalp, I felt wonderful. Tears of joy flowed from my eyes, and I wrapped my arms across Anjali’s soft breasts and hugger her tightly to me.

When at last the power of speech returned to me, I said, “Thank you so much, Anjali! I think you saved me from whatever was wrong with me! I feel so much better I can’t even begin to describe it.”

“It brought me much pleasure, also,” she said, a smile in her voice. “What you have experienced is the highest state of being a human being can achieve. The perfect union of mind, body, and spirit between two lovers is the embodiment of the divine. It is, in a small way, a mirror of the unity with the universe which the yogis seek to achieve.”

“I can’t imaging living like that,” I said incredulously. “If I spent much more time with that intensity of being I think my head would explode. I think I’ll remain content to just to touch it briefly once in a while.”

“It is a powerful force,” she cautioned. “I would not recommend trying to awaken the serpent force without help of a trained master such as myself. You may incorporate elements of what I have taught you in your lovemaking, but be careful you do not overwhelm your soul trying to duplicate what we achieved here.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I said sincerely. “I can see I am not ready for that on my own. I’ll have to come to you for guidance if I need to return to that level of pleasure. I think I will take a few tricks with me, though. Just for fun. I know a few women who will appreciate some of what you taught me.”

She rolled off me and sat by my side, running her fingers through my chest hair and smiling. “I have only begun to teach you the secrets of Tantric sexual union. There is a never-ending ladder of experiences one can ascend. I would be happy to continue your training if you wish. You are a promising student.”

“You definitely get my vote for teacher of the year. Next class I’d bring you an apple, if I had one. Will a banana do?”

“This banana is all you need bring,” she chuckled, fondling my limp peter.

To be continued….

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