They Arenât Leprachauns! – A Halloween Story
Introduction:
What happens when you summon female Leprechauns?
This short story takes on the question of why all Leprechauns are male… sort of
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WARNING! This warning is possibly not needed for this particular story, but I am including it because it is needed for most of my stories. If you decide to read other of my stories make sure that you read the disclosures and warnings at the beginning of each story.
All of my writing is intended for adults over the age of 18 ONLY. Stories may contain strong or even extreme sexual content. All people and events depicted are fictional and any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Actions, situations, and responses are fictional ONLY and should not be attempted in real life.
If you are under the age or 18 or do not understand the difference between fantasy and reality or if you reside in any state, province, nation, or tribal territory that prohibits the reading of acts depicted in these stories, please stop reading immediately and move to somewhere that exists in the twenty-first century.
Archiving and reposting of this story is permitted, but only if acknowledgment of copyright and statement of limitation of use is included with the article. This story is copyright (c) 2018 by The Technician.
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It all started very late last summer, or perhaps I should say very early this fall. I was trying to get a very difficult article written on the Celtic myths in which humans become immortal, and my girlfriend, Annie, was feeling neglected… very neglected.
Iâm normally not one to refuse sex, but I had to get the article finished for my publisher, so I told her that she could speed things up by reading the article and helping me catch significant errors in my grammar or spelling. I didnât expect her to really understand the Gaelic references or the discussions on how to translate a particular rune, but she was very aware that the epitome of my spelling proficiency is remembering that there is an R in shirt.
After a few hours of silent reading, she asked, âSo whatâs the name for these evil Leprechauns that keep showing up in these myths? You never say what to call them.â
I held up a photo of a rune stone and pointed to one of the characters. âThatâs it,â I said rather dejectedly. âIt is applied only to the children of this one,â I pointed to another rune, âand a member of the Fey.â I pointed to another rune and said, âThat rune we know how to translate… more or less. It is usually translated as âfairy,â but a better translation is âmember of the Fey.â Itâs someone who can claim the fairy mound as their home, and thatâs not always what we think of as a fairy.â
Annie was still looking confused, so I continued, âLeprechauns are sort of the mules of the fairy world. They are the offspring of good and evil, but they, themselves, are neither good, nor evil. They are… â I paused searching for the right word. âThey are… are… mischievous.â
âAnd these children are always male?â she asked.
âYes and no,â I replied. âLeprechauns are always male and always mischievous… except when they are female… and then they arenât really Leprechauns… and they are evil.â
I picked up another picture of a rune stone. âOr at least I think they are supposed to be evil.â I pointed to the stone and said, âThatâs another rune nobody can translate. It might mean evil, but it often occurs in sexual contexts.â I laughed and said, âIt could just as easily mean horny.â
âWhy donât we hear more about these evil female Leprechauns?â she asked.
âThey arenât Leprechauns!â I said loudly, looking around to see whoâ or whatâ might have heard her. âAnd the wee men get a little upset if you equate the two of them. They are wee lassies and that means that they are NOT Leprechauns! There are no female Leprechauns!â
I looked around again making sure that neither Danny Boy nor any of his cousins was around. âI usually just call them imps,â I said hastily. âI know thatâs not a Celtic word, but it fits. They seem to be evil spirits of some sort that do anotherâs bidding.â
I shuffled through my stack of rune stone images. âOr at least that is the prevailing theory. They seem to follow the direction of powerful women, like maybe Queen Achtland. She is one of the mortals who became immortal by marrying one of the Tuatha DĂ© Danann. I did a lot of research on her for this article and the imps get mentioned in one or two of her lesser-known myths.â
âMaybe you should investigate them further,â Annie suggested.
âI think Iâve already found everything there is to find about them,â I said, sounding very frustrated.
I set down my stack of photos and copies of articles and said, âI have discovered that one of the unique things about them is that it appears they are only able to be active on Dark Night… and no, that is NOT Halloween. Celtic Dark Night is the dark of the moon following the Autumnal Equinox. It is the true day when the barrier between this world and the next is thinnest.
âDark Night is now less than a month away. That means it is over three weeks before October thirty-first this year. It is supposed to move around, at least on our calendar. The Romans screwed it up when they took Dark Night back to Rome and incorporated it into a harvest festival on the Roman solar calendar. But thatâs the wrong day. If you want to celebrate Samhain correctly, you use a lunar calendar not a … â
Annie interrupted me, âDonât get going on the date of Halloween,â she said tersely. âIâve heard it all before.â Then she added somewhat angrily, â… several times.â
âOK,â I replied, trying to calm myself. âBut there isnât much to know about the Celtic impsâ or whatever their true name is. The only time they are really mentioned for any length of time is in âThe Cursed Bookâ and nobody knows how to translate at least half of that section.â
âIs that the book that tells you how to summon demons and stuff like that?â she asked.
âYes, it is,â I replied, âbut there is no way Iâm going to risk doing any of that. Iâve had enough trouble dealing with the wee folk when they drop by on their own. I donât need to invite themâ or perhaps some of the not-so-wee folkâ to drop by for a visit.â
âBut you said they are dormant except on Dark Night,â Annie replied. âHow could they be dangerous?â She was using her whine-until-she-gets-her-way voice. I knew where this was heading… … and I was right.
The ritual to summon the female wee person who is not a Leprechaun is rather simple. There is a standard containment circle and the right number of properly positioned charms and then some words in ancient Gaelic. Thatâs what really worried me. I was pretty sure about the number of charms and where to place them on the circle and how to interconnect them, but the Gaelic scared me.
Trying to make sense out of modern Gaelic is bad enough. Pronouncing the old tongue is even worse. And it was made even harder by the fact that I was almost stuttering because I was so afraid that if I mispronounced one of the words I might end up with the White Lady herself standing in my circle.
One thing I was sure of was that my puny charms and protections would have no power over the Goddess of Death and Destruction herself. But Annie kept whining, so I spread the powders and placed the charms and said the words and then waited to see if anything happened.
It didnât.
Or at least I thought it didnât.
Then Annie said, âOh, theyâre so cute.â She then reached into the circle and acted like she was petting a puppy.
âWhat are you doing?!â I yelled. âDo you know what you have just done?!â I almost screamed.
âIâm just smoothing down their hair,â she answered defensively. âThey are beautiful.â
She looked over at me and said, âYou canât see them, can you?â
I shook my head and she continued, âThey look sort of like naked Tinkerbells… except they donât have wings and they have green eyes and red hair.â
âBut you broke the circle,â I wailed. âThey can get out.â
âYes, they can,â she said. Her voice was suddenly husky and her eyes had a far away look.
âWhere are they?â I asked.
âThey are nuzzling and suckling on my breasts,â she said. Her breath was starting to get ragged.
âItâs as if I am also naked,â she breathed out in almost a whisper. âThey can reach right through my clothing. The sensations are overwhelming.â
She was now laying on her back with her legs open wide. âThey are soooo soft and gentle,â she said dreamily. âTheir hands are so warm on my nipples,â she continued, then she gasped slightly. âAnd their tiny tongues feel absolutely marvelous on my love bud.â
One of them had evidently moved down between her wide spread legs. I wasnât sure what to do. I still couldnât see anything, but her hips were starting to buck up and down as if someone had mounted her. She was also starting to moan. That moan quickly morphed into a long, loud, shrill, keening wail.
I could tell from her scream that she had reached orgasm, but she didnât stop. She kept bucking and trashing until she once again screamed out in orgasm… then another… then another. She seemed to be getting weaker and was starting to shake her head from side to side and call out weakly, âNo… no more… no more.. no more.â
That continued for a few minutes until she suddenly took a very deep breath, relaxed, and started chanting softly, âYes… yes… yes… yes… yes… YES!â
She lay there on the floor the rest of the night whimpering and moaning, alternating between âNo. No more,â and âYes… yes… yes…â
I wasnât sure what to do, but I was pretty sure I didnât want the imps getting out and wreaking havoc in the neighborhood. So, I drew a new, larger circle around Annie and then drew an even larger one just outside of that. Then I placed twice as many charms in the proper places to contain both her and the imps. After that, I sat in a chair watching over her. There was nothing else I could do.
I must have fallen asleep because suddenly the room was light and Annie was calling my name. Her voice sounded slightly strange, but she seemed to be rational.
âAre you going to keep us in here forever?â she asked, standing in the middle of the circle. There were two, tiny, naked females standing at her feet.
âWell?â she said after a few minutes.
âIâm trying to figure out how to let you out of there without letting the imps out.â I said tersely. âI really donât want them loose in our world.â
Annie began laughing. âLook behind you,â she said with a smile as she pointed behind me. I turned around and there were four… no eight… no ten… more of those wee things standing behind me.
âThatâs not possible!â I almost screamed. âI didnât summon them! They shouldnât be here!â
âYou didnât summon us either,â a very tiny voice said. It took me a minute to realize that one of the imps within the circle was speaking. âWe were attracted by the smell of a woman in need. We knew that we could help each other, so we appeared in your circle where she expected us to be.â
âWhat do you mean attracted by a woman in need?â I asked.
The other imp spoke, âWe feast on sexual energy,â she said. Then she laughed. âAnd it isnât the ancient Dark Night… or the modern Halloween that makes us visible. It is a personâs belief that we exist. That just happens to be strongest on Dark Night… or Halloween.â
The first imp took back over, âYour belief, not your badly mis-pronounced words pulled us into the circle. And Annieâs belief was even stronger because you had told her that we exist and she trusts you implicitly… at least in things ancient.â
âSomehow,â Annie said, âmy body knew that I needed what the imps could give me.â She shrugged and said, âI guess thatâs why I broke the circle.â
âSo will they stay with you forever?â I asked.
A tiny voice from behind me said, âWe need to keep moving from person to person. Our magic is temporary and only works for a short while.â
Another voice added, âBut we might be back next year.â
I looked at the ten naked little women who were partially surrounding me and said, âAre you a coven or something?â
âSomething,â the two in the circle said in unison. âWe normally travel in groups of twelve to increase our magic.â
I hesitated for a while. Actually I stepped toward the circles and then back three or four times before I finally used my foot to rub a break into the white ash that formed the outer circle and the gray ash that formed the inner one.
Annie immediately ran over and wrapped her arms around me. Her tongue was deep in my mouth. After a while, she pulled her head back and said, âWe need to go to bed… now! Iâve learned some new things that will blow your mind… among other things.â
The imps, meanwhile, had formed a circle of their own. Their voice sounded much louder as they spoke as one, âWe hold no grudge against you because you have released us without harm and restored the power of the twelve.â Two of them giggled but the common voice continued, âAnd we have fed well.â
The voice turned harsh as the twelve beautiful imps looked up at me and morphed into tiny hags with fiery eyes. âBut if you wish to escape all retribution,â it said loudly, âthere is one thing you must do.â
âName it,â I said calmly. I think I sounded calm. … OK, I could barely say it I was shaking so hard in fear.
The imps returned to their tiny, naked beauty and said in a single, very sweet voice, âAll we ask is that you publish the story of what has occurred here tonight on your normal story sites with the rest of your Halloween stories. Then when women read it, they will believe in us… if even for just a second.â
There was a pause and then the voice continued. âAnd if they are even slightly turned on by your story or other stories they have read, we will know, and we can appear, just like we did here.â There was a tiny giggle and the voice of just one of them added, âWe might not make ourselves visible, but we will be there.â
One of the impsâ I think one of them from the circleâ jumped, or flew, or rematerialized onto my left shoulder. âJust think of it,â she said in her tiny voice as she tugged on my earlobe. âWomen will be sitting there reading your story and will suddenly feel a tiny hand or tongue on their nipples.â
Another imp popped up onto my right shoulder. âOr if they are lying down while reading,â she said, âWe will be able to sample the nectar their arousal is creating.â
The two of them then said firmly, in unison, âYou WILL publish what happened.â
The remaining ten morphed back into their scary hag personae and added loudly, â… WONâT YOU?!!!â
âYe… ye… yes,â I stammered back and they all disappeared. That was it. There was no snap or boom or sound of any kind. They all just turned to mist and quietly evaporated from the air.
Thatâs what happened. I wrote down everything later that day… much later, after Annie and I finally got out of bed.
I really didnât want to publish the story, though, because I truly believed what the imps had told me and I didnât want to make them real to all the femalesâ and perhaps malesâ who read my stories. I knew my story would release them on the world, but every time I went to delete it from my computer, one of the imps would suddenly appear on my keyboard wagging her finger at me. In fact, recently, one even floated up in front of the screen and pointed to my âReady to Publishâ folder.
Sorry, Ladies, maybe Iâm a cowardâ at least when it comes to magical creaturesâ but I am going to relent and move this story to my Ready to Publish folder. And when it gets closer to Halloween, I will submit it to my story sites.
I canât help it that my writing can sometimes make something so believable that it seems real. Iâm sorryâ I really amâ if you are now feeling strange little hands on your nipples and tiny little tongues farther down. I didnât want to do it, and besides, itâs too late now. Youâve already read the story and the imps became real to you even if for just a moment. Thatâs all they really need.
There is nothing you can do, so keep calm. They mean you no harm. They only want to feast on your sexual energy, but to do that they have to take you higher than you have ever been before.
Enjoy them while they are here. Just donât call them female Leprechauns.
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END OF STORY
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