Yoga Pants Suck!

Her eyes wandered his face for a few moments taking in thethree day stubble. The effect of his oh so
very blue eyes was not lost on her. After her “lost signal” moment, as her mom would call it since her
brain would disconnect from mouth in a day dreamlike stupor, she managed to squeak awkwardly,”
What?”

Inwardly there was a scream building shaking her insides with a fury of disbelief. “What” that’s ALL
she could get out?!

He smiled with his eyes, his goddamn eyes, and repeated his question, “Can I ask a favor?”

“Uh sure, I guess..,” she managed to sputter while she subconsciously bit her lip.

“I’m shopping for a friend who’s into yoga. Seeing it on the schedule at the gym pretty much describes
my experience with Yoga. Would you let me tempt fate on the chance that your tastes run the same
as hers?”

Tempt fate? Who talks like that? “You mean you need help finding a gift,” she asked.

“You got it. Is that weird? I know we’re strangers but I can’t believe you’d let me buy something
horrible.”

She slowly dialed her inner panic back to a manageable level that could function under the gaze of a
randomly handsome man. In her defense, he caught her off guard by just asking a question while her
back was turned. Twitterpated was not her normal state. She had been looking at some new yoga
pants since it looked like she might actually stick with the new class she was taking. HE snuck up on
HER. God but he wears those jeans well. The plaid shirt was all kinds of yes on him as well.

“Um no, that’s not weird. I guess it’s kind of sweet that you care enough,” she said as she set the
pants she was looking at on the rack and reached up to futilely smooth her dark curly hair. “Did you
want to get in her pants or maybe a top?”

His eyebrows shot up and he gave her a mock look of horror as her hand scrambled to cover her
mouth. It was too late though, Freud be damned. Her blush deepened even more when he answered,
” I admit, it’s a consideration but I’d settle for just getting her pants as a gift first. I usually wait till
we’ve shared an episode of Modern Family before I try to get “in” the pants.”

“I am SO SORRY! I don’t know where that came from. I didn’t actually mean that! I meant as a gift,
not that you’re trying…. oh nevermind! If I help you will you promise to forget I ever said something
like that? Please!” She fixed him with her best pleading look. Her friends always said she looked like
an old chinese man with that face. Great choice!

“Cant do it,” his tone severe as he shook his head. “I am going to reserve the right to reference that
slip at a time of my choosing. After all,” he was back to his grin now, “if you try to bully me into buying
something terrible I can always pull it out.”

“Help,” she thought. Cute boys shouldn’t say things like “pull it out” to a random girl after a slip like
hers. It’s dangerous! She had to tear her eyes away from where they had wandered down his body as
he spoke.

“Since pants are on the table so to speak, I think pants is a good place to start.”

“I agree,” she nodded and asked, “Do you know what size she is?”

“Somewhere around your height a tiny bit larger around the butt, think J-lo on a yoga mat. You could
body double for her but we’d need some butt prosthetics first.”

“Really? Five minutes in and you’re cracking ass jokes? What’s next?”

“Fashion show,” he answered confidently.

Oh geez… that excited her and THAT was scary.

“How do you know the runway is open,” she retorted in what she hoped was a non-spastic manner.

He didn’t hesitate, “All the signs I’ve seen have pointed to Yes.”

Is this guy for real she thought to herself? Was she that transparent? Was she that easy? Maybe.
She laughed nervously as she turned around quickly and grabbed the pants she had been looking at
when he walked up and said, “Will these do?”

He took them out her hands and considered them for a moment, “It’s tough to tell on the hangar, we’ll
have to find a changing room.” Without a quick nod of his head he started walking as though she
should follow. Despite her best efforts her feet hesitated only moments then copied his direction. A
couple wrong turns later they were outside a changing room. He quickly caught the eye of a sales
person across the floor.

“We’d like to try these on,” he told her as she walked up.

“Of course, let me open the room for you. This door tends to stick a little,” she said as she inserted
the key and wiggled the handle. After a few seconds of fiddling and pressure the door popped open
with twang. “There you go! Can I help you with anything else,” she asked pinning him with an
appraising look.

“Um, I think we’re good, but thank you.” He shrugged his shoulders at his new found shopping partner
as the saleswoman left.

“And then there were two,” she murmured under her breath.

“What was that?”

“Oh, just talking to myself.”

“Look, I really do appreciate you putting yourself out here like this. My name is Miles by the way.”

“Well it’s nice to finally meet you Miles. I’m Alex.”

“Alex. That’s cute.”

“Not all of the boys can agree on that.”

“Odd. I love the way the X rolls off the tongue,” he said cheekily. “Now I don’t want to waste any more
of your shopping time. Throw those on and we’ll see what we’ve won. I promise I won’t peek. “

“I should hope not Mr. Miles. Us being recent strangers would make that a bit awkward.”

“Depends on your perspective Ms. Alex. Now close that door so you can’t corrupt my eyes.”

She opened her mouth in her best southern belle “Oh” face. Strangers or not she pushed the
squeaky door closed and leaned back against it. How did she get into this situation? What now?

“Holler if you need help,” she heard from the other side of door.

She rolled her eyes and threw a sarcastic, “Ha! Ha,” back his way. She decided to go on the offense
attempting to regain some of the control that had somehow slipped away,” So how do you know this
girl? Are you close friends?”

“Nope, it’s more of a classic 21st century association,” he replied.

“That’s kinda cryptic don’t you think? I’m in here changing my little heart out for you. Entertain me.”

“Fair enough, it’s a tale as old as time – boy owns computer, girl owns computer. Boy and girl find the same website and a chat is born. Chat leads to connection, connection leads to coffee… and a now I
am here. What do you think? Cliche? Sad? Odd?”

She smiled to herself and replied, “No I think coffee is perfectly normal.” His laughter carried over the
top of the door. “So am I embroiled in some online dating drama?”

“Sorry. No drama just fun. How’s it going in there?”

Oh yeah, she’s supposed to be changing. Really! Is she really going to model for a complete
stranger? Once again her brain had no control over her fingers as they unsnapped her jeans and she
wiggled them past her hips and down. “Oh boy, ” she thought to herself. The realization of standing in
just her panties and tank top with Miles only a few feet away was nerve wracking. Grabbing the new
pants she stepped into one leg pulling it up slightly. Stepping into the right side she had to lift up a
little but somehow her big toe caught the waistband. With a horrified squeak she tried to disconnect
her foot and the pants but the quick movement threw her off center. She grasped backward for
support and managed to hit the door handle as her weight landed against the door. In the moment
between the screech of the door slipping open and the extreme loss of gravity, all she could think to
say was “Jinkies!”. Her feet back pedaled trying to reestablish her balance but only seemed to propel
her faster backward. This frantic ballet could only end one way and saving face was not that way. As
she continued her downward arc, Miles’ startled face came into focus trying to help as he ducked
down to catch her. Momentum had a different plan and sent her tumbling directly into him as they
collapsed in a heap, her body resting directly on top of his. Silence.

She could feel his chest rise and fall but he didn’t say a word. Somewhere in the middle of her chest,
the tiniest of giggles emerged.

He looked down past the top of her head at her gorgeous body and watched as the tiny giggle shook her chest. His eye traced the curve of her breast following it down as it merged with her stomach then
her curvy hips. Between the gentle shake of her laugh and the panty clad ass now resting on his
cock, he was in trouble. He couldn’t really control the blood rushing downward and the resulting
announcement that she was having a more than friendly effect on him. As his cock began to harden
he noticed her laughter began to quiet. What could he do?

“So was that an entrance or an exit,” he asked in a faux inquisitive tone, “Because when you enter
you’re coming, when you exit you’re going. I’m just confused ‘cause you came out ass first.”

The silent pause was awkward enough to make the cast of Jersey shore uncomfortable. Then the
laugh started again… a little giggle like before and built until it was full force burst of laughter.

Gasping for breath she rolled over on her stomach, off of him onto the floor, and looked him in the
eyes. Forgetting for the moment that she had yoga pants tangled around her ankles and her striped
cotton panties on display for anyone walking by. He held her gaze for a few moments then broke the
silence again, “You were right. Those pants will look great on her.”

She groaned and she buried her face in her arm. He just grinned, “Alex?”

“What?”

“Would you like me to help you up,” he asked as he sat up.

“No, I am pretty sure I can manage,” she grimaced back. She pushed herself up onto her knees
preparing to stand-up.

“Right this way ma’am,” came a voice from the sales floor.

Her face froze – This was not good! Somebody was coming and she was still twisted up! Without
thinking she lunged for the fitting room. History repeated as her foot tangled and she started to fall.
But the fall never came, instead Miles, who had stood moments before her, lifter her up like a damsel
in distress and stepped quickly inside the changing room and pushed the door closed with his hip.
Setting her down on her feet, he turned and sat down on the bench. It was a tight fit with her back
against the door their knees still touched. She couldn’t even lean over to untangle her feet! She
looked at him with eyebrows raised, “What do we do now,” she whispered.

He thought about it for a moment then whispered, “If we go out now…it’d look embarrassing. We
might as well use our time wisely…”

“You want me to change while you’re in here? That’s asking a bit much don’t you think! We are
strangers!” Her voice started to rise so Miles put a finger to his lips with a grin. This just served to
point out how NICE those lips were. What should she do?

“Well you haven’t fared well on your own the offer of help still stands,” he retorted.

Damn him, she was remembering how good it felt when she was pressed up against him.

“What would your online friend say?”

“She’d ask for pictures.” His cheeky grin was too much. She started to turn away only to realize that
left her ass exposed almost at face level. She paused and leaned her head against the side of the
small dressing room with her eyes closed. It took a few moments to realize that someone, Miles, was
touching her leg. His left hand was resting just below her knee, his fingers wrapped around to the
front. He gently slid his hand down, lifting her right leg slightly, and grabbed the tangled pants with his
right hand. Bending forward to do that put his face near her thigh and she could feel his breath, warm
and tickling, against her skin. All she could do was stare down at the top of his head while he worked
to get the garment off. His breathing was causing the hair on her neck to perk up… that was usually
followed by goose bumps… then bigger bumps.

“Oh geez,” she thought. “If I mace him now I’ll just hurt myself. His face is less than the width of Venti
Chai Latte from my navel! This is crazy! Focus!” Her thoughts were interrupted by a quick glance from
him. He flashed a triumphant smile showing her that her left leg was free, from the pants, but not his
touch. Holding eye contact he slowly and deliberately placed her foot on the bench next to his left
thigh. This brought her body slightly closer if that was possible. He then placed his right hand on the
outside of her left thigh and slid it slowly downward. Sliding till he reached the infamous yoga pants,
never once shifting his gaze.

She started to speak but found she couldn’t trust her voice. All she could focus on was the trail
warmth of his touch left and the chain reactions it was causing. The air had gotten thick with
unanswered questions and the quiet held her voice captive. He finally lowered his eyes focusing on
the task of untangling her. But his two day growth on his cheek was pressed against her and every
time she moved it tickled her leg. With only inches between her and the traitorous door, she leaned
back with eyes closed for support and hopefully a safer distance. Her right foot was still next to him
on the bench and her left was under his control.

“Done.”

“Whuh? Huh? OH! You got it,” she stammered. She was still leaned back on the door and somewhere between a daydream and awake.

He grinned and lifted her left foot off the ground, getting a startled gasp out of her, and placed it next
to his right thigh on the bench.

“Oh MY SOUND of Music,” she thought. With her back against the door(PLEASE DON’T OPEN) and
her feet on the bench, her ass was hovering right over his lap. He could reach down with his teeth
and rip her panties right off! “My panties! God!” She looked down and sure enough the striped blue
fabric had gotten darker in areas. She was wet and there was no way he couldn’t tell.

“Oh god, I want this don’t I? If he makes his move(another move), I will officially be a dressing room
slut. Oh! I’ve never been a slut! Do I want to be a slut? Am I already a slut? What if my mom,” her
wreckless stream of thought was disrupted by his lips, his fucking soft lips on the inside of her knee.
“Yep, I’m a slut,” she declared in her head.

One kiss followed another as his hands, now between her legs, followed the line of her thighs toward
her butt. She pressed her hands against each wall for support as he began placing little tiny soft
kisses along her waistband. She could feel his hot breath on falling on her fabric covered mound. Her
fingernails were trying to dig into the walls as goose bumps erupted and her nipples felt like like they
could cut glass. From behind his fingers were tracing the line of her waistband, toying with it. He
shifted slightly forward and leaning further in and placing a gentle kiss just below her navel. The next
kiss was slightly lower; the next one lower. And then they stopped.

She took a deep breath and opened her eyes tilting her head down so she could see his face. Her
curly brown hair fell in a jumble obscuring part of her view. He reached up and moved the few strands
out of her eyes.

“Tell me,” came his barely audible whisper.

“I can’t.”

He leaned down and grazed her skin just above her waistband with the lightest touch. She only felt
the faint cool spot left by his lips.

“Tell me.”

She said nothing, biting her lip, staring wide eyed. He trailed his fingers over her body till they
reached the small of her back. With a slowness bordering on inhumane he traced his fingers down
her spine until he reached the cleft of her ass. His finger danced imperceptibly down the fabric
glaringly close to the edge of her resolve.

“Tell me.”

His breath was hot on her skin. Her treacherous skin, prickled in arousal and damp in anticipation.
She met his gaze not wanting to blink, barely breathing. She was tense. Without thinking she reached
down and traced a finger along his stubbled jaw. Following the outline around and across to his lips.
Brazenly she pushed a finger between his lips and beyond. He responded by lightly wrapping them
around her finger as she slowly drew it out. She ran her moist finger down his cheek.

“Tell me,” he breathed onto her stomach a hairsbreadth from the surface. She didn’t hear it but she
felt it.

She didn’t say anything. This time she wrapped her fingers in his wavy hair and tilted his head up.
She held him there while her other hand reached up and rolled her right nipple between her fingers.
Seconds passed before he seemed to breathe again. She felt his fingers wrap themselves under her
waistband.

“Do it,” she said with an urgency that was unreal to her.

Before she could change her mind he pulled on the last of her objections. With her legs spread he
couldn’t get them all the way down but it was enough. His left arm wrapped under her thigh and over
the top allowing him to stroke her slit. She’d shaved a tiny landing strip and he was teasing the curls
without actually applying pressure. Her whimper slipped out, pleading. His right hand had was
cupping her pert ass cheek as the left grew bolder. She was so wet and his thumb was slick with her
arousal. Guiding his thumb down one side of her puffy lips, he gently probed the bottom of her
crease, then back up on the other side.

Her reluctance was reshaping itself into impatience as her clit remained untouched. Her eyes were
fixated on the attention being paid between her legs. Pressing her back against the door to the fitting
room, she pushed her pelvis up trying to inspire more contact. He responded by pulling his hand
away and giving her a wink. The hand that had been teasing her starving clit was now reaching down
to something on his belt. The sound of velcro ripping was all she could hear. As he brought his hand
back up she realized he’d grabbed one of those multi-tools that outdoorsman carry.

“That thing better have something that vibrates,” she said through clenched teeth but wondering why
he’d pulled it out. Her eyes got wide as he unfolded a short knife blade from the assortment of tools
stored in the handle. Deliberately he reached up and slid the blade under the fabric of her panties and
before she could object, sliced right through the fabric holding it onto her left leg. As it dropped away
her pussy was now completely unguarded and he gave her a wicked grin. Between the first kiss he
placed on the inside of her knee and the time it took him too put that damn tool away felt like she
could’ve knittted herself new panties. She’d gone from “What are you doing” to “why aren’t you doing
it” without realizing it. She rolled her hips upward again as he brushed his lips down her inner thigh.
He reached the crease between her outer lips and her leg placing his last kiss at the top.

His elbows were resting on his knees and he was supporting her, hands on cheeks, with his hands.
She held her breath as he leaned in his tongue making contact with her wet folds. It was a quick taste
then a pause. Her swollen lips pulsated under his warm soft breath. Somewhere mid pause he
brashly ran his tongue firmly from bottom to top. Lingering at the peak to add pressure to her clit and
gradually pulling his rough warm tongue over it. Tugging on her hips he pushed the length of his
tongue against her slit and shifted until the tip began to penetrate. Sliding past her cunt lips into the
slick hot space, resistance wasn’t even on the menu.

As quick as he was in, he was out. His tongue replaced by his thumb as his attention shifts to her clit
again. Needing to rescue some tiny bit of control in contrast to her body’s treacherous surrender, she
grabbed his head. She held him so his tongue was firmly pressed to her clitoris as she began grinding
her hips against him. Sweat was trickling down her back and his thumb buried inside her added to the
sensations churning within. The air was thick with her need, the potential was building. Haunting
silence blanketed her senses and was ripped apart by her release. It rampaged through her tensing
body robbing her of breath. Her eyes half shut and her mouth hung slack, slightly opening and
closing, as pleasure mounted her prickled skin. She spastically locked her fingers in his hair holding
him tight against her. His lips now sucked on her throbbing clit. As the waves decreased in size her
muscles found a way to relax again. Her head thumped back onto the door.

“What the hell was that,” she said in her normal voice.

“Ma’am, did you need a different size?” The voice answered from the other side of the door.

Her eyes got big, “Um no! Thanks!” She looked down at his messy grin as he mimed a scared face. “I
think this one will do great!’

“Ok let me know if you need anything else.” her voice receded into the distance.

His blue eyes wouldn’t let her go as she tried to find words. What was left of her cute striped panties
dangled from her leg, he’d only cut them off of one.

He leaned his head against her leg. “I guess I owe you new underwear. How are we going to handle
that?”

Without missing a beat she smiled wickedly and with a new confidence countered, “I say we go try
some on right now.”

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