Creating My Hot Wife 5
This is the intro to our swinging experiences. I’ll lay out the basics of what we learned first in this account. At the end you’ll hear about that magical first night at “the club.”
Over the first few years of a pretty intense swinging lifestyle, I have often heard Ashley come out of a bedroom experience and tell me… “If that was all I knew sex to be as a married woman, I wouldn’t like sex either. That guy thought he was some kind of stud but really was terrible…and worse yet had no clue!”
“Well I trust you taught him a thing or two darling.” I would typically reply with a Cheshire smile.
“Hell yea! Half way through I took over and showed him how a woman needs it! I don’t think he has ever experienced a woman topping him.”
Swinging is a type of very real sexual laboratory. I don’t know of any other venue that can heal sexual issues as quickly and maybe as effectively as regularly attending a great club or private house party. As former marriage counselors, Ash and I could discuss sexual issues with a couple for a year or more and not get anywhere near the results we saw them achieve within their first 90 days playing and experimenting with other couples. It was quite common to see a new wide eyed pair come through the door of our club (about 300 on our registry) with all the typical signs of marriage fatigue, often terrified it might be ending, always quite apprehensive of what would happen here… And then see them a few months later laughing and joking about their old way of thinking, their perceived problems, and proclaiming they now knew one thing for certain.
“We will never break up over sex!”
New couples quickly get plenty of opportunities with the “varsity players.” The varsity was a term we used to describe those that had seriously played for several years. They were confident, highly skilled, highly orgasmic, and proactive when it came to all things sexual.
When new couples got to play with them it wouldn’t be long and “Mr. Slam Bam Thank You Ma’am” turned into a more humble version of himself, believing he now “knew nothing about sex.” It happened to me. I was married twenty years before I went to a club with Ash. I had no idea that within a few short weeks I would come to understand that I really knew shit about what great sex was like.
It was the same with the woman, often a passive limp body woman, who thought her only role in bed was just letting her guy “do her.” No one at the club had to tell her anything. Just let her watch some women who really knew their way around a bedroom.
Here was the hardest part about clinical style counseling with a couple… We would eventually come to the point where he, she, or both needed to understand, to really come to terms with, the fact they were a terrible lover. Who dares to tell them that? I didn’t want to. Most counselors don’t even try and find ways to justify this avoidance. Because that’s… “Eye surgery, my friend!”
However, turn that young couple over to some of the varsity players and that “hot stud” was going to watch a varsity guy take his wife to heights she didn’t know existed and the same was true with the young wife watching the varsity wife taking charge over her husband, and all the while being completely unafraid to “explain a few things” to her man!
Right Brain Left Brain
It’s amazing to me how and why a tender loving sexual relationship between two people can seem so sacred and why at the same time their hot erotic side can seem so illicit. The only thing that has made sense is that it has a lot to do with the left brain right brain issue.
The left brain is our rational problem solving side. It is the side that most needs public or cultural acceptance. It’s the side that opts for safety, reputation, and cost analysis. Warm safe predictable sex fits well in that side of the equation. It works if you can shut off that crazy right brain’s craving for adventure.
The right brain is curious. It seeks adventure, needs to create and to explore life’s “unknowns.” Specifically it needs to create with little regard for the opinions of others, the fear of failure, or concern with costs of any type. That works if you can shut off the left brain and it’s powerful obsession with counting costs and addressing fears.
So what does that have to do with sex and specifically white hot erotic sex?
Here are the three most important things we learned about that specific type of sex.
1. Erotic sex is a right brain function. It requires an edgy sense of adventure and danger. The adventure side seeks something new and outside what feels normal or routine.
The danger side tends to seek out something thrilling that is literally or culturally illegal or illicit.
2. Erotic thinking, even more than actual experiences, is absolutely needed for a balanced, healthy and happy life in a way very similar to a body’s need for certain nutrients or vitamins. The lack of erotism can slowly trigger a host of psychological and physical maladies quite similar to how a body’s anemia can do the same.
3. Permitting a rightful place for eroticism in your life will often trigger creative thinking, visionary thinking, and attractive forces. Many creative people, artisans, authors and musicians understand how to use this “erotic high” to work in a highly creative way and how to maintain that erotic plateau throughout their creative process. There is a skill to it all. One needs to have protracted, sexual, mental stimulation and then keep riding that high by employing personal sexual denial. I’ll write more on that later.
Meanwhile, my purpose in telling our story is to chronicle our journey out of dark guilt based eroticism and into healthy freedom based erotic adventures. It’s been a bunch of fun and enormously beneficial.
Pornography as a Tool
If there is one primary point of separation between the sexes it’s at least been porno thinking and it’s use. The internet is obviously changing that quickly through sites like this where there is a free exchange of ideas. However, guys have tended to be way more receptive to it than women. We would like to help change that disparity through sharing what we’ve discovered. Specifically…
“There is an interesting new level of bonding that occurs between a man and woman when both unabashedly love pornography and especially it’s incumbent fantasy thinking.”
Ashley and I stumbled into this reality through our “Alex experiments.” During that time I introduced Ash to Penthouse magazines and letters. Watching her initial resistance to such, then her change to an enthusiastic abandonment, and then how that launched her into a new multi-orgasmic state was a… OMG type of hot. My Ash loving porno as much as me was simply something I never thought would happen. I think most husbands feel the same about their women’s resistance and embarrassment about pornography. In our decision to open that erotic door together, we stepped deeply into culturally illicit thinking and actions. We were careful and very aware of the potential cost. We also couldn’t have been happier or felt more fortunate to experience this new lifestyle. It would prove to be a “nutrient rich” white hot experience in erotism. For instance…
From my side of the equation I often savored the surprising sexual intensity of corrupting Ashley’s type of innocence and stuffy cultural norms. I think she in turn felt a surprising surge of new sexual power and how she could use that over me and most of the men she would meet in the future.
I absolutely loved feeling her new raw sexual desires for “fresh cock.” I loved luring her over the edge and into wild abandonment. I loved promoting new fantasies and feeling her genuine excitement climb until her beautiful body would literally shake. I loved coaxing her into a new found daily masturbation; loved grooming her ability to fantasize new and old sexual exploits; loved how easily she “got off” while pretending guys were impregnating her when she let them “cum inside;” loved hearing her fantasize giving birth to this guy’s or that guy’s baby and how that would impact me; how she loved doing new things that she and I had never done; how she loved secret rendezvous that I didn’t know about until after the fact and the power that made her feel; loved hearing about how she often needed to take breaks during work to get herself off in the bathrooms; how she loved going into business meetings with no panties and with a flush she always got post orgasm; how she regularly removed them so she could “do it” in her car on the long commute home; how exciting it was to be fingering herself in traffic jams while staring at some guy in a car next to her; how she liked acquiring guys she could just drop in and fuck on her way home if she felt like it; how she always sized up new acquaintances as “fuckable or not fuckable;” how she reveled in the knowledge she could fuck anyone she wanted to without anyone’s permission; how she discovered so many people around her could easily be fucked… Like her doctors, her bosses, fellow workers, neighbors, neighbor’s sons, old friends, and new friends; how she loved living this new paradigm of complete and utter sexual freedom without a shred of guilt; how it made her feel more evolved, more hip, more relaxed than all of her repressed associates; and how she reveled in her exciting secret life while listening to her colleagues discuss their own sexual frustrations.
From a societal point of view was Ashley corrupted and some kinda slut?
But from a guiltless freedom based point of view, she was one of the most amazingly beautiful and genuinely happy woman you would ever meet. It just didn’t matter that much to her what “normal” people thought anymore. Straight, repressed, judgmental types were the worst kind of “fucked up people” and people to be pitied.
What mattered to Ashley was the “stable core center” she felt and had with me. The deep bonding this new sexuality created in us was very real and much more incredible than anything we had prior in our marriage.
In a similar way, Ashley loved seducing me into complete adoration and servitude. She knew how well I understood and appreciated her sexual free thinking, her uniqueness, her powerful sexual appeal, the control it gave her over men, and how there was never any “going back.”
She marveled at the depth of sexual intensity I felt watching her aggressively fuck someone; watching and coaxing her into outrageous exhibitionism; and especially the extreme sexual intensity I felt with her controlling me right down into mild cuckold humiliation. She often didn’t understand it but knew I was feeling things worthy of her envy.
So it worked for both of us… Powerfully, but in ways that were often quite different from each other.
Sexual Truth Serum
It’s pretty hard to beat the white hot intimate sex you experience with your lover while you both are edging close to orgasms and sharing deeply hidden fantasies. Things get revealed during those moments you might never know during a lifetime of safe vanilla type sex.
White hot sex is like taking a truth serum for each side of a couple. During that type of eroticism the truth is going to eventually come out in ways not easily expressed in our typical culturally inhibited mind set.
Even so, honesty takes extraordinary patience to achieve together. If I manage to help a few couples achieve that kind of bliss, well all the effort in writing this journal will be worth the time spent.
I’ll tell you much more about that later. But first, the question I always got…
“How the hell did you get your wife to go to a swing club without the mere suggestion damaging your relationship in some way?” The answer to that is not found in a simple formula. It’s a journey.
Kevin and Katie
Ashley mentioned how we became friends with Kevin and Katy, the ex-Navy Seal and his wife. Funny how it seems in life there is someone waiting to help you at each major turn. Alex was our first important person. Kevin and Katy were next. These two were in many ways our perfect mentors.
We were dining out with them at an Outback restaurant one night just getting to know each other. I don’t know what they call a maître d at an Outback, but that guy came around to check on us and happened to notice Kevin’s necklace with the golden Navy Seal emblem. Turns out he had been a Ranger, had some extraordinary experiences with Seals, and was not only impressed but deeply in awe with Seals. Before we knew it free rounds of drinks were coming and I got to hear some very interesting stories about Kevin’s past that I would’ve never known without this guy getting Kevin to spill it. I guess it was his deep appreciation and respect that was the trigger. Katie told me later that Kevin rarely talked about his Seal past and stories came out that night she had never heard.
Kevin was on the Seal Team 3 back in the sixties. The government had spent $3mill in his training, a lot of money back then. He was literally forced to join the Seals or spend significant time in the brig and face a court marshal
after breaking his sergeant’s arm while that man was nearly drowning a weak effeminate type recruit during some pool exercise. The Seal Team was up in the pool bleachers watching it all go down. And that night while being locked up, Kevin got a visit from the Seal Team leader. He was offered a way out of the mess.
Kevin was special and had learned karate as a kid, (when nobody knew karate,) from a legendary Japanese sensei. When the Seals saw what he could do, they wanted him and gave him a choice he couldn’t refuse. It was a different era.
Eventually Kevin was basically tasked to take out high valued targets…often solo. I heard him talk about N Vietnam and N Korea that night. He told me later he could go into my house while I was gone, use what existed there, and when I came home I would have “an accident” and of course die. No one would ever know the difference. Kevin was the kind of guy you didn’t want to piss off!
Anyway, after the Ranger guy left, Kevin and Katie wanted to hear our story and they were good at dragging it out of us. We eventually told them all about Alex and they loved it… Congratulated us in fact. From that point on it was obvious we had won their respect. Maybe you can guess how significant a validation that was for Ash and I. It led to a series of dinners together.
Winning the Lottery
Over the course of the next few weeks we had lots of questions. Those two had the answers…and the best stories! They loved swing clubs, had gone for years and had a current one they wanted us to attend first… without them. That stimulated a torrent of questions.
You need to appreciate Ash and I didn’t have any confidants at that time. We were winging it. Kinda “invented the wheel” on our own and now here we were talking very intimately with a sexy and somewhat scary couple. What a head trip.
One of my first questions was what was it like being able to fuck so many different women. Kevin told me something that turned out to be very true.
“When you start going to clubs it’s always going to be about ‘doing’ someone new. You will keep track of the number. But around fifty or more you’ll stop counting. It’s kinda like winning the lottery. In the beginning winners go on a spending spree and get caught up in the high of just buying things. Anything. But about the time they ‘run out of outlets to plug things into’ that initial high fades and buying new things will never be quite the same. From that point on it becomes at least if not more interesting to just enjoy the things you already have. It’s the same with fucking new people. You get so you’ll often rather fuck the people you already know you’ll have fun with.”
In the ensuing nights they patiently took us through all of the newbie questions. And when it was over we knew where the secret place was, what it was like inside, what the people were like, whether it was safe or not, what would or would not be required, what to wear, how to act… and and and.
So we went.
It was 93 people, generally in their 30’s, some in their 20’s some in their 40’s, almost all couples, only a very few vetted singles were allowed, all of us were packed into a 4 bedroom house, 2 large living rooms, one was for mixing and socializing and the other was a dark “group room” except for a nice fireplace that bounced light off people in various forms and combinations of sex, can’t forget the nice kitchen with an incredible spread of food, $40 entry fee, a big hot tub in continual use, a nice sexy dance floor with great lighting and most often full of hot women doing lezzie things to each other while their husbands watched at the railing frothing at the mouth, of course great music and a cool DJ. They also had several lead or core couples that were not only the “eyes and ears” as to what was happening all night but were also the resident counselors for new couple, and bouncers if there was trouble…which rarely happened.
The house rules were simple.
1. No means no. Problem people were bounced and banned.
2. Guys didn’t approach or proposition women. Guys talked to guys, shared their interest, explained who they were and then that info was taken back to each of their women. She said yes or no only to her guy. No stress on the wives. No embarrassment. It worked pretty well.
3. Strictly no drugs allowed.
Did we “party” that night? Oh yea. Took us until about 3am that morning. Much of the crowd was gone except for a few core couples that were spending the night. One of those couples seduced poor Ashley and Jim.
Ok. We were coaxed into that dark group room. We ended up on the floor with Mary and Andy and the resident single guy John. It happened.
Well maybe I should tell you a bit more…
It was a magical night. Kevin and Katy were not there. But there were literally a dozen, maybe two, very cool good looking couples that approached us. Ash was simply hesitant and I was determined to not push it with her. Believe me. I would’ve done them all and over the course of the next few months I think we did. But that night was way too new and tense. It was fun all night and we were not in a hurry to leave. Hell it was by far the sexiest thing we’ve ever dreamed of attending.
We stayed late. Most of the couples had left by 3am. I guess we just bonded with two of the lead couples and couldn’t break off the conversations which drifted into the now vacant fireplace group room. I started massaging Ash and she glistened in the fire light. Before I knew it Andy’s hands joined me and I switched over to Mary. It didn’t take her long to assume control. This was a woman who knew her way around a bedroom. I don’t exactly remember how she did it but before I realized it my clothes were gone and her clothes were coming off. That I remember. Mary was quite beautiful in her own way but more attractive in her sexual confidence. I on the other hand had a racing heart rate and was starting to sweat. Ash and I had been married 20 years that very month and I had never seriously entertained having sex with another woman. The enormity of that very thing happening that night left me almost paralyzed. Mary was an expert at sucking cock, my cock. She knew how to get you close and not let you come. She also knew how to take charge, throw her leg over you and press her vagina into your face. OMG! The first vagina I had experienced besides Ashley’s in over 23 years! And it didn’t take her long to cum, and cum again. Finally in a deft acrobatic move, she rolled over, flipped head to toe, and pulled me on top. I had no choice in the matter. Mary was going to get fucked!
To this day I can distinctly remember the sensation of feeling my rigid, bursting at the seams, cock entering her super slippery pussy. My mind was exploding. A big fucking line was being crossed and my monogamous devotion and promise to Ashley was ending. Actually… I was wasting no time doing it! It was one of the most memorable fucks of my life. Holy cow! Now here is where it got even more interesting.
Mary had already cum several times. She was not interested in doing it again. She wanted me to cum and cum fast. I did. Want to know why? Well Ash and Andy were watching us and I distinctly remember the broad smile on her face as I was pumping into Mary. When it was over, it was her turn and Mary knew how important it was for me to just watch.
Andy was a bit taller than me, in fantastic shape, and had a huge cock. It was bigger than any I had previously seen. He knew how to prep Ash orally until she was shaking and literally begging him to fuck her. He also had expert control. Ash was going to get fucked for the next hour and not just by Andy but also by this single guy John who was lying next to them both playing with Ashley’s nips, tweaking them, sucking on them and then moving back and forth French kissing her. All the while Andy was slowly and seductively penetrating Ashley’s cunt, then pulling out and grazing her lips until she was raising her hips trying to get him to enter again. There was no rushing this initiation. It wasn’t long before John’s cock was now in Ash’s face and she enthusiastically grabbed it and started sucking him off too.
Now I’m lying there only a few feet away watching this. Two guys fucking Ash on our first night at the club! Mind blowing. So much so that after about 15 minutes I began trembling with the visual intensity. I’m telling ya, it is one thing to fantasize such a thing happening. It is quite another going through it all for the first time.
Mary was watching me and realized I needed a break. So she grabbed my hand and whisper, “let’s go to the kitchen.” I didn’t object.
Once there we talked to another lead couple, John and Sue, who had been watching the show. They were all very concerned how I was handling it all. I got lots of long hugs and reassurances that it would be all right. I remember them taking me back to the doorway and pointing out to me the incredible smile on Ashley’s face. At the time that smile was very reassuring and allayed my fears that she might be caught up in something she couldn’t get out off. It turned out to be quite the opposite and an unfounded fear. Before the hour was over, Andy and John would each fuck her multiple times taking turns being inside her mouth and inside her pussy. Ashley got to taste their cum, her cum on the cocks and eventually experience the sensation of having her vagina literally pouring out strange semen. I watched most of it at the doorway full of a myriad of emotions. This was a scene I would never forget.
Ashley was quite sore the next day. Andy was so long that he constantly rammed her cervix and that was both good and bad. That night Ashley discovered her cervix was her orgasmic trigger, more than her G spot or clit, but also discovered it gets sore easily. At least Andy made sure she would remember his long monster! From then on she was careful with any cocks bigger than mine and found ways to accommodate them without getting her insides pierced in two.
On the other hand, she experimented with new ways to get me just a little bit deeper. Her feet on my shoulders, me on top, did the trick. I could feel the tip of my cock just gently massaging her cervix. And that always sent her over the top. Funny how we had been “doing it” twenty years and had never discovered this. Ahh… The benefits of a sex laboratory!
This would go on the next decade with so many experiences I hardly know what experiences to share.
Well… First I need to go back to Mr. and Mrs. “Could kill ya and no one would ever know” new friends of ours. We had to tell them what happened that night over our next meal together. Little did we know over the next few months they were going to teach us things that would shape our sexual exploits for years to come. I’ll save that for the next story. See you then.
Btw… Ash said to remind you to share your comments!