discovering i am gay part 3
Introduction:
here is where thing get intresting
I walked out of the college building and went to my car. When I got to my car I kept saying to myself “Your not gay. Your work your way out of it. Your not gay” I got into my car and drove around. I found a place near the park and parked there I kept thinking who can help me out with this stuff and thought Leon. (Leonardo) I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called him. It took a few phone calls for Leon to answer but when he did he said to me
“Blake do you know what time it is? You just woke me and Kyle up”
I was holding back tears and not really understand what Leon had just said to me. I calmed myself down and said “Leon I think i’m gay.” After I had finished that sentence I broke down and just cried to him on the phone. Leon listened to me cry for a moment and said
“Blake listen to me it does’nt matter if your gay if your happy with being gay so be it.”
“I don’t want to be gay Leon. I don’t”
“Well Blake i’m sorry but you don’t really have a choice in the matter. You are who you are.”
“Please help me Leon”
“Blake it really isn’t a big deal being gay. What would you like me to do? Come to England and help you though it?”
“would you?”
“Well Blake I was only joking but if it’s that big of a deal to you then yes I will come to england and help you come to terms with it. Now i’m going back to bed goodnight”
After Leon said that he hung up. I drove my self home. When I got home I told my parent that Leon will be arriving some time this week and they said “okay” When I got into my bedroom my phone started ringing. I checked the caller ID and it said McKenzie so I answered it and said “hey” McKenzie said “Hey so we need to talk” “I know we do” “meet me at the end of your street in half and hour” So half and hour later I meet McKenzie at the end of my street and we walked around and talked. The final thing he said to me was “So what do you think of me when you look at me?” I looked to the floor and said “When I look at you all I want to do is kiss you but I don’t want to be gay” After I finshed my sentence I walked away from him and went home.
(TWO DAYS LATER) I went and meet Leon from the airport and drove him to my house. When we got to my house and into my room Leon looked at me and said “Okay lay it on me whats happened for you to discover your gay” so I told him the hole story and he looked at me with his thinking look on his face and said “so you meet a waiter who turned out to me Lizzy’s friend he kissed you and you break it off with Lizzy. Wow sounds like a strange and tough few days” “Your telling me” “Get changed” “Into what?” “Me and you are going out tonight” So we got ready for a night around town and got a Taxi into town
AS we got out the Taxi Leon walked upto a gay guy and said “Excuse me can you tell me where the nearest gay bar is please” So the guy told him and we went there. When we was inside Leon said “relax have some fun” and he went and danced with some guy. I went to the bar and the barman said “Hey gorgous what can I get for you” I was a little freaked out no man had ever called me gorgous before. I said “Double Vodka” and downed it. I took Leon’s advice and started dancing with him and this random guy anyway as time went on I felt less and less comfortable and I think Leon noticed because he walked upto me and said “Do you want to leave?” I looked at him and said “I can’t deal with this” and ran out of the club. Leon ran after me. I ran to the over bridge and stopped in the middle of it I climbed over so I was just holding on. Leon came behind me and said “Hey man calm down. Come on climb back over we can go back to your house and talk about it” I never moved all I said to Leon was “I don’t want to me gay” “I know you dont hunny but it does get better” (see I don’t mind Leon calling me hunny because we grow up with him doing it) So I let go of the railings and started falling before I landed in the river below I heard Leon shout “BLAKE!” and he dived into the river after me. Leon manged to get me out of the river and onto dry land however I wasn’t exspecting what he did next. Leon punched me in the face and said “You stupid barstard. You could have killed your self” “I’m sorry” me and Leon just hugged each other and went back to my house and got dried and talked some more about why I was finding it hard to accept being gay and at the time Leon helped me with the talk we had more than he will ever know.
