How To: Give Your Lady an Orgasm
Introduction:
Treat her like a queen now, so that she will treat you like a king forever
The event must be worked up throughout the evening. What have you done to get her in the mood? Sincere compliments, playful touching (but not overtly sexual – not yet). The mood of the night must be good. In fact, for many women the mood of the whole day must have been good, but that isn’t entirely up to you. Let’s just focus on the time you can control.
Throughout this post, remember that your lady love will be entirely “in her head” the whole time. She is thinking about what you are thinking. She is thinking about how she looks. She is thinking about tomorrow. She is self conscious. If she is given too much space to think of these things, you have lost her. Don’t let her know that you need to work hard for her orgasm. Even if you have been going forever, unless you want to keep going forever (or until she fakes it or gives up), you must not let her see you getting tired or bored. To you, her body is special. It is something to be conquered. Think of her as having different levels to beat. The ultimate boss is her orgasm.
Let’s begin. You are both dressed, but the obvious flirting and touching has begun. If you can feel the sexual tension, you are on the right track. Keep your clothes on for as long as you can stand. Maybe you’ll get lucky and she will start the undressing. Move to a place where she can lie down. You have a much greater chance of her having a true orgasm while she is lying down vs. any other position. Her legs, butt, and abdominal muscles are very important to the build up.
You are lying down and kissing her tenderly, don’t spend too much time on one spot (including the mouth). It gets annoying and gives her too much time to think of how it’s going. Think of interesting places to kiss her. Hands, shoulder, elbow, chin, jawbone, collarbone etc. While kissing you should also be rubbing her in a massaging motion. Please note that you are not overtly massaging her. She knows that massage equals sex and she will start thinking about it. Instead, focus on rubbing while kissing. For example, squeezing her arms (gently), lightly dragging your fingers along her back. Playing with her hair also counts. Make it clear that you are enjoying her body. Truly, you should be enjoying her body. In fact, she should get the impression that you don’t even care if the clothes ever come off, you are just so excited to be in her sexy company.
Removing the clothes should be a fluid motion that continues from the kissing and rubbing we talked about above. To be clear, taking off clothes always has an element of awkwardness. It is best to make it playful or outright say that you “need” her (shirt) off because you just have to see those exquisite (breasts). Every time you take off the shirt or pants there should be a genuine compliment to go along with it. What do you like about her when her shirt is off? Maybe it’s not even her breasts, but you better have a compliment. There must be a reason you love when her clothes come off. As a side note, unless she makes it a big deal, your clothes don’t matter. Just whip those bad boys off because you are so excited to put your naked body next to her naked body.
Okay. You are naked together. Great work getting this far. If you have done everything right, then she is still in the frame of mind to orgasm and isn’t just wondering how fast she can make you cum and then fake her own orgasm and catch up on some sleep. If you have done this correctly, she is not viewing your orgasm as her chore to be finished quickly. Instead she should be thinking about how great your hands feel on her. She should also be feeling like you have been having such a great time exploring her body (for good measure you should mention how great she smells…even if she doesn’t…because she is worrying about it). What a confidence booster! She is now in the right mindset to fully relax for an orgasm.
But wait! Don’t go straight for the goods yet. That’s right my friend, you are still exploring! Have you ever noticed how strong her legs are? Have you felt how interesting her hip bones feel? Did she trim for you? Or perhaps you seduced her when she wasn’t even aware she would be seduced and she has a full bush going on! Just like you took your time in getting the clothes off, take your time in getting to her nether regions. If your woman is the type who will eventually get to the point of asking you to touch her…that’s how long you wait. If she is more of the shy type, you will need to judge yourself, just make sure you do not rush this part.
Once ready, use your whole palm to lightly rub once from butt up to clitoris (don’t worry if you are unsure of where the clit is exactly, I will explain later). I say lightly and it should be light, but that doesn’t mean no pressure. Here is how I would describe the amount of pressure: you are walking and bump into the corner of a table, giving yourself a Charlie horse in the thigh…you take your palm and rub it to soothe the pain. You don’t press hard to make the pain worse, you just apply a light pressure. This is how hard you should rub your lady to begin. And it is important that you use the whole Palm of the hand. You are stimulating everything. The clitoris is like the head of the penis and the labia (lips) are like the shaft. Yes, you love your head touched, but the shaft is very important as well.
After you have rubbed her once in this manner, take a finger (not the pointer) and gently follow the opening up from butt to clitoris. Is she very wet? You can move on. If she is not very wet, go back to the full palm of pressure over her whole vagina. Try different massaging motions. You can also grab and massage the inner thighs and butt cheeks. Generic compliments such as, “you are so beautiful” work well here because she is focused on what you are doing but still likes to hear your voice. Also, saying things like “I love doing xyz to your body” is a good thing to say because it lets her know you are not bored, and you are not tired of trying.
To progress, one of two things needs to happen. 1. She either needs to be fairly wet or 2. you have been rubbing and massaging for a good amount of time and perhaps she needs something new. Now is the time to move on to the clitoris.
Gently use two fingers to find the clitoris. If she is truly horny by now, it should be easy to find. A clitoris will become engorged similar to a penis getting hard. Find the top of her labia (lips) and run your two fingers down the inside slowly until you come across a small bump of flesh about an inch (more or less) down. Don’t press very hard just yet. Curiously explore for a minute or two. Listen to her breathing and pay attention to the other parts of her body. What are her hands doing when you touch her different ways? Are her legs tensing? How is her breathing changing? How are her moans or other noises changing? Take note of what motions you are doing correctly.
Once you have noticed certain motions and movements that she seems to respond to, start applying more pressure. This is the part where it starts to get tricky. Some women like pressure right on the clitoris, some like two fingers (like a V) on either side of the clitoris, some like your fingers above or below the clitoris. Also, this preference can change with every sexual encounter and can also change during the same sexual encounter. This is why you must be paying attention to her other cues. Once you have found the spot that it seems like she is most comfortable with, plant your fingers (could even be all your fingers, flat and together) in that spot. Do not rub your fingers all around. Think of a grinding motion. Your fingers will stay in the same spot while massing/grinding that area. With a hand job on a penis, you want the hand to move up and down. This is not the case for the clitoris. Here is my description for you: you have a sore tooth so you put your hand on your face and (keeping your fingers in one spot) rub that tooth from the outside of your mouth. That is the amount of movement that you are allowed.
Once you have found a spot that she likes, it should be obvious. Her body will contort, her noises will change, her hands will squeeze, her legs and butt will squeeze, she will close her eyes and focus. Perhaps not all of these things will happen, but some of them will. Keep your eye on the prize and focus on what is working for her this time.
Start to vary your speeds. If you hear that her breathing/moaning is getting into a rhythm, stop changing and stick with that speed for a while. Remember to keep the sore tooth image in your head when you think about how you are rubbing her. Your fingers are not bending and wiggling. They are all staying together as one and massaging with focused pressure.
As you start to get close to making her orgasm, you will most likely need to speed up. This is your athletic moment- how long can you keep up the pressure and speed? Remember: Don’t let her know that you are getting tired or she will want you to give up, as the mood will be ruined (or she will fake it). This is when you can start saying things as a grunt (like when heavy weight lifters grunt to keep up stamina). “Fuck you’re gorgeous” is always a good one.
If you start to feel her squeezing any part down there…labia, butt, legs, abs…you know you are close. She knows she’s close and she wants it to happen so she is pushing it along. And then when it happens, something will drastically change. This will be different for every woman. Maybe she will get really loud, or go silent, or squeeze you, or arch her back, or make a face, or get extremely wet all at once. Whatever it is, you may not even recognize it if you aren’t expecting it. Just know that it will be a drastic change of some sort. This is how you know she is either very close or it is happening (maybe you’ll get lucky and she will just tell you). Once it is over she will most likely slump into relaxation. If you are still feeling up for it physically, keep going. Now is your best chance to give her more orgasms. How many can you give her? It’s up to your imagination (and her body’s tolerance). If you are able, don’t stop until she grabs your hand and holds it down. However, if it is obvious that she has orgasmed and your arm is about to fall off, stop and hold the pressure in place. Let her body relax. Feel the pulsing through her vagina. It may feel like a heartbeat. If she hasn’t orgasmed, she won’t relax. If she has, she will want more closeness with you. She will be grabbing you for cuddles, kisses, or just to be held.
Lay back and allow yourself to feel like a king. If you truly have made her orgasm and satisfied her, prepare to be treated like a king…if you’re lucky.
Happy hunting.
