Janie’s Big Break (part one)

One day in Germany in 1939, some German Nazi Krauts were looking for some hot frauleins to get down with before they blitzkrieged across Poland.

“I want a blond haired blue eyed fraulein to suck on my manly wiener schnitzel before it is the time for some blitzkrieg-ing over there in Poland.” said Dieter to his friend Klaus.

“You got that right, mein mensch!” replied Klaus, “Now that it is world war two and soon Germany will sign the Tripartite pact forming a military alliance with Italy and Japan, I too would like a blond haired blue eyed fraulein to service me in such a way as to give me manly pleasure. Soon we will be one of the Axis Powers and we will have some serious seig heiling to do! It was not always this way!”

Soon in Pensacola Florida it was 2009, some fat chicks were angry because they had not achieved their manifest destiny. They were fat loud oily bitches, and they all wanted food.

“I want a burrito, God damn it” yelled fat oily Julie.

Each of the fat chicks drove their SUVs to an Mexican eatery and got bean burritos. They hadn’t even finished the bean burritos before they were all farting fat ass farts and discharging huge amounts of fatty methane, a greenhouse gas, into the air. Soon the average temperature of the earth’s near surface air and oceans increased, maybe because of the increase in anthropogenic greenhouse gas concentrations including the aforementioned fatty methane.

The fat loud oily chicks didn’t even care about the global warming that their fat farty methane had caused. Their only concern had to do with the discomfort the global warming had caused them. It was not always this way.

Meanwhile at an apartment in Cleveland, a California blond named Donna was slurping a guy named Richard’s seed squirter. Richard’s knob sack smelled cheesy and tasted like dank bile, salt and yeast. Donna slurped Richard’s dong as he pulled her ass cheeks so far apart that her sheriff’s badge became gaping fudge tunnel. When Richard did this, he was hit by a huge warm blast of dank fart. It smelled like something had crawled up Donna’s ass and died.

The shock of the fragrance snapped Richard head around. Forgetting Donna and her flatulence, Richard thanked Jesus for his Salvation Army BB flat contrabass trombone. Richard had always marveled at the design of the spit valve on the Salvation Army BB flat contrabass trombone. The Salvation Army BB flat contrabass trombone has a double slide and spit collects in both tubes. The Salvation Army BB flat contrabass trombone has two spit valves, one for each tube. The two spit valves are operated by depressing a single lever! Richard had a Conn BB flat contrabass trombone as well, but that model only has one spit valve. It didn’t have the spit yield potential of his Salvation Army BB flat contrabass trombone.

As Richard recovered his senses, he could feel the sudden increase in the earth’s atmospheric temperature due to the greenhouse effect of Donna’s cheek flapping gale force pungent methane rich California blond fart. Richard suddenly felt a sudden decrease in blood pressure that could have resulted in fainting. This was followed by abdominal discomfort, agitation, anxiety, constipation, decreased sex drive, diarrhea, loose stools, bloating, dry mouth, fatigue, and gas.

Richard’s erection shriveled. He wiped a bit of perspiration from his furrowed brow.

“Oh my gosh golly!” said Donna with a giggle “I just cut the cheese with my flatulent ass queef. My colonic calliope dropped a barking spider! I’m so embarrassed by the gaseous intestinal by product that just blasted out of my keister. I really emptied the tank with that one.”

Donna paused and scratched her nose.

“I suppose I killed the romance.” Continued Donna “Would you like to stick your rock hard chubby schlongski into my hot moist quivering quim?”

“My chubby schlongski is not rock hard anymore.” Replied Richard “Your ass blasted methane registered a 7.8 on the Rectum scale. Knocked the stiff right out of my willy. Can you fondle and suck it for a bit?”

“I love playing with your dick. It’s so big and if I squeeze it, it gets bigger.” responded Donna as she reached for Richard‘s shwantzer. “It’s a cute dick too. Some dicks are really ugly funny looking. Some guy’s dicks smell like ammonia or goat cheese or both. Your cock smells like a candy cane muffin. It’s so yummerz!”

Donna put the head of Richard‘s penis into her mouth, sucked hard and moaned. Her tongue pushed and curled around the bottom of his prick sometimes poking out of her mouth with a wet slurp. Richard stiffened considerably. He massaged her shoulder as she sucked more of his cock into her mouth and moaned. She had both of her hands on his balls and was tickling them gently. Richard knew from experience that Donna could suck as long as he could massage. Longer, actually.

Donna slurped and sucked on Richard’s stiff shlonger. Donna grabbed Richard’s shlong shaft near his balls and squeezed as she eased some of his prick out of her mouth until only the top part of his head remained in her mouth. Donna gave him a super helmet scrub, licking furiously at his piss slit. Donna looked up at Richard as she positioned herself carefully and slowly swallowed his eight inches of man sausage until her lips were resting on his pubs. She looked like she had a moustache.

Richard pumped her throat as he continued rubbing the area of Donna’s right shoulder blade. After about a minute, Donna slowly let his sword out of her mouth a bit and sucked hard. Her tongue worked the bottom of Richard’s rod as she continued to let more of Richard’s knob out of her mouth until only the top part of his head remained in her mouth. Donna gave him a super helmet scrub again, licking furiously at his piss slit.
Then Richard began to gently pump her throat again, but Donna gagged and quickly pulled away.

“Oh my gosh golly!” exclaimed Donna “That was close. I almost had to vomit, or ralph!” She sucked the head of Richard’s wang back into her mouth and slurped it hard and loud. She knew Richard loved to hear her slurp and moan while she sucked and she was happy to comply. Her cooch was already very wet, and it was in need of attention. That was good. Donna liked to wait until she couldn’t take it anymore. She had her thighs wrapped around Richard’s left shin. She was grinding her crotch against it while slurped hard on his wiener until he shot a sploogy load of man sauce down her thirsty gullet.

After he shot the aforementioned sploogy load of man sauce down Donna’s thirsty gullet , Richard realized he didn’t care about Donna. He didn’t care about her vaginal shenanigans. His sack was somewhat lighter by her efforts, and he appreciated that, but he felt empty. He wanted to leave.

Richard got up and put on his clothes. He reached into the pocket of his 100 percent cotton denim preshrunk five pocket button fly comfortably relaxed seat straight leg blue jeans and took out a socket wrench. He handed it to Donna.

“Hold on to this until I get back.” said Richard. He felt old and insignificant. It was not always this way.

“Ok” replied Donna, taking the socket wrench.

Richard left the apartment and took out his cell phone and made a call.

“So how’s Boise treating you?” asked Richard to the party at the other end of his call…

Meanwhile in a second floor apartment in Boise some hot Lesbos were double headed donging it. Downstairs was a corner brew pub where some guys at the bar were talking about the recriminations faced by one who frets about his feminine sexual traits. A mousey girl at a corner table had a psoriasis tennis elbow and a two all beef patty posterior, but it was a new year and she was working on both afflictions. She had a fast acting deep moisturizing intensive strength medicated ointment for the psoriasis tennis elbow and a new health club membership fro the two all beef patty posterior. Her name was Leslie.

“Where for art thou Romeo?” she muttered to her friend who was sitting next to her. She sipped her slow gin fizz.

“I’ve just got to get out of Boise.” said her friend. Her name was Janie. She continued speaking. “I‘ve yet to achieve my manifest destiny. Boise is so boring and I have huge nipples and I just can’t find a brassiere in Boise that I like that covers my nipples well.”

Janie was 19, thin, sandy brown hair, with big green eyes covered by a pair of librarian glasses. She had a shapely thin figure; average sized breasts, long legs, and a shapely posterior.

“I’m considering moving to Los Angeles.” continued Jamie. “If I can’t find a proper brassiere in L.A., I doubt one exists. Besides, I know a guy named Richard who knows a guy who can get me a part in a movie. I’ve always wanted to be in the movies!”

“What kind of movie is it?” inquired Leslie.

“I love to sing, so I would love to be in a musical. I asked Richard if there would be any singing.” replied Janie, “He said it wasn’t in the script, but he thought I might be able to sing a couple of songs if I really wanted to. He said it was an interesting idea.”

“Oh, that would be wonderful for you!” gushed Leslie

Suddenly, Janie’s cell phone rang and Janie answered it.

“So how’s Boise treating you?” asked the party at the other end of the call

“Oh Richard, Boise sucks, you know that.” replied Janie.

“Well, I got your ticket out,” began Richard, “I talked to my buddy in L.A. and he said you could sing in the movie, but the songs have to be in the public domain. Songs like “By the Light of the Silvery Moon”, “Amazing Grace”, “Down in the Valley (Birmingham Jail)”, “Everything is Peaches Down in Georgia”, “You’re a Grand Old Flag”, “A Mighty Fortress Is Our God”, or “Onward Christian Soldiers”. There are many more. You can google it if you have the google installed on your computer.”

“Great, I get to sing! I had a computer technician install the google last week. I‘ll check for songs. ” gushed Janie. “What is the film called?”

“Its called “Gokkun Party 6.”” Replied Richard.

“Gokkun Party 6?” asked an inquisitive Janie, “It’s the 6th sequel?”

“Yes,” replied Richard, “The others have sold very well.”

“I’ve never heard of any Gokkun Party movies.” interjected Janie.

“Straight to DVD, my darling! You can google it.” Offered Richard.

“Well, at least it’s a party movie and I can sing!” chirped Janie optimistically.

“Cool, meet me out there next week.” replied Richard. “I’ll wire you some money for a ticket and I’ll pick you up at the airport. I’m in the movie too!”

“Oh groovy! We’ll have such a blast” gushed Janie

“I know I will!” Laughed Richard…

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