Just to Get By III
Introduction:
Natalie is trying new things and discovering a new side to everyone in her life……
………………………………………………………………..
I fumble through my closet desperately searching for something to wear. It’s Saturday afternoon, around 2:00. Later, senior bad boy Jay Royce will be picking me up to go to a movie. He’s keeping which movie it is a secret until we get there. I’m only a sophomore, 15 actually. And he’s at least 18, so I don’t have a clue why he’s interested in me. He could have any girl at school. I can hear Tyler on the phone in the kitchen. Or, kitchen part of our apartment. Just a few days ago, Rosa had attempted to break up with him, but he refused to let her go. I don’t understand why, she’s a trashy red-head slut, like all his other girlfriends. She claims he’s not giving her enough and she felt he didn’t have true feelings for him. She has some garbage coming out of those pimp-red lips.
Finally I find something fit to wear. My favorite red scoop-neck blouse and dark denim shorts. I saved them for special occasions or when Sammy and I used to go to school dances together. Tonight they’d suit perfectly. A pair of tan sandals were just the shoes to go for. I ran to the shower so that I’d be perfectly fresh and ready to go.
After showering, straightening my hair, and setting my date clothes out, I fiddle around impatiently with thing after thing. It’s 4:26 now, surely Jay will call soon. I almost jump out of my socks when the phone rings. I race to it and pick it up.
“Hello?” I ask, knowing who’s about to answer.
“Hearing that sweet, angel voice, I take it Natalie has answered?” Jay’s deep voice replies. A tingle runs down my spine.
“Yes, sir. You anywhere near?” I ask.
“Sure am, on my way up you’re development now.” I accidentally hang up on him in my rush to get changed. I throw my clothes across my bed (sleeping bag which serves as my bed) and quickly dress, smoothing and perfecting every inch of it. The door wrings just as I slip on my last sandal and I rush to the door. I swing it open, smiling up into the handsome face of Jay Royce.
“Wow,” he says, taking in my appearance. I smile girlishly and glance down at my feet, then back up.
“You don’t look too bad yourself,” I giggle. He’s wearing a plain white t-shirt and black jeans. The t-shirt is tight to his body, showing off every toned muscle. He looks twice as hot as usual. Jay presents me his arm and I hook mine around his and follow him down to his car, kicking the door behind me.
“Why’d you hang up on me?” he asks with a laugh.
“Heh, I hadn’t gotten changed yet,” I reply with a smile. Jay’s 2000 Dodge Challenger sits at the curb, it’s imperfect red paint shining in the late sun.
“So, what’s the movie?” I ask as I climb into the car. Jay flashes me a mischievous look and says nothing. He just starts the car and drives.
………………………………………………………..
We arrive at the movie theater a couple of minutes before 5. He rushes me into the building and pulls out his wallet for tickets. I look around at the groups of people filing in and out. A low rumbling can be heard from current movies playing in the back. Beverage machines line one wall and a popcorn/candy counter lines the other. Jay returns with our tickets. Glancing at mine, I search for the movie title.
Fast and Furious 6
“No way!” I burst out, nearly jumping up and down. I’m smiling uncontrollably and I grab Jay’s arm, not knowing what to do next.
“I knew you wanted to see it. Shall we go watch?” he beckons me to follow and I’m beaming from ear to ear all the way in. We get seats all the way in the back. The vibrations from the speakers can be felt in our seats and we have the clearest view of the screen above everybody else’s heads. The lights dim, Jay takes my hand, and the movie begins.
……………………………………………….
After the movie, Jay and I walk to the car, talking about the whole movie scene for scene. It was better than I’d ever imagined and seeing it with Jay had made my night. The Challenger is parked way in the back of the lot since it had been full before. The red car now sat all alone in the corner. The sky’s dark now and many stars are out with a full moon. A soft breeze is blowing through and I can’t help thinking what a perfect night this is. We reach the car and suddenly Jay gently pushes me against the side. He leans over and kisses me, taking me by surprise. It wasn’t the first time I’d ever been kissed, but it was the first time a kiss ever sparked my body. I reach my arms up over his neck and kiss back. His hands wrap around my waist, gently squeezing. My hair blows across my face, but I don’t brush it off. I don’t want this moment to end. He pulls back, then comes in again, meeting my mouth with his. My eyes are closed shut and all I want to do is feel. Slowly, Jay slips his tongue into my mouth. I mirror his actions, uncertain of how to do things.
Slowly, Jay’s hands rise up my body until his thumbs are pressing gently under my breasts. He pulls his body closer to mine, pressing into me. Then his hands are on my breasts, very gently moving as if he’s asking permission. I allow it. I don’t have any worries, there’s no doubt Jay will stop when I ask. And the feelings he’s giving me are wonderful. I’ve learned that if something makes me feel good, I take as much as I can get. Because it’s not often I’m feeling good.
Jay gradually increases his rubbing until he’s gently groping and squeezing. I shift my legs so that he has more room and easier access to my body. I don’t want him to be uncomfortable. He presses in a little more, his crotch pressing into mine. Suddenly, Jay’s hands drop down and slide up under my shirt. He pulls my blouse over my head, which I allow. I’m sure he just wants better access. With less material between him and me, the sensations he’s giving me come stronger. I slide his shirt off, tossing it through the window into the car with mine. My hands slide over his body, restless and unable to settle in one place. Then before I know it, Jay reaches around and unclasps my bra. A slight chill blows across my exposed breasts, causing my nipples to harden. An urgent warning goes off in my head. What if we go too far? I silence those doubts immediately. Jay hasn’t done anything that I’ve not been okay with.
Then another thought crosses my mind. What if other people see us? Jay’s lips have worked down my neck, sucking and licking and creating new feelings. He’s fondling my breasts, now taking time to trace my nipples, giving a gentle pinch now and then.
“Jay, other people,” I whisper between breaths. He pauses and opens the back door to the Challenger. Lifting me off the ground, he carries me to the side of the car and lays me across the back seat. We kick our shoes off and Jay climbs in, laying on top of me. I feel somewhat restricted in this position, so I shift, sliding my leg out slightly and scooting closer to the back of the seat. Jay lays more comfortably on me and resumes kissing me, taking my mouth in his.
My breaths slightly start to quicken and I feel a tingling between my legs which startles me. I suck in my breath as Jay takes my nipple in his mouth and I almost sit up. Sensing my sudden alarm, Jay stops and holds himself on his arms over me.
“Are you okay?” he asks, concerned. I breathe for a second, relaxing. See, Natalie? He sensed your distress and backed off.
“I don’t know…”
“We can stop if you want?” he offers. I shake my head, but the reassurance does little to soothe me. What if Jay’s just using me until he gets sex? Like Tyler’s girlfriends. Is that what he’s after now? Maybe this is all a lie. I’m a virgin, I’d never had sex before and I didn’t know what would lead to it. I prayed this wasn’t heading that direction. Jay’s still looking in my eyes.
“You’re not happy, we can stop, Natalie,” he suggests again. I’m touched that he seems sincerely concerned, but I don’t want to disappoint him. But I make my mind up.
“Yeah, I think we should go,” I try to say as sweetly as I can. He seems disappointed and I feel guilty. I kiss him one more time, hoping it makes up for it, but I reclaim my bra and blouse and we head home.
Jay walks me to the door and gives me one last kiss. “I had the best time ever, Natalie. I told you you were something special,” he smiles, melting me again.
“Good night, Jay,” I whisper and slip into the house. From the window I watch the senior get in his car and leave. I head back to the bedroom. The door’s closed and something feels wrong. All lights are out. Did Tyler come home?
I push the door open and am shocked at what I see. At first, I only hear the small gasps and rocking of the bed. Then my eyes adjust and I can make out the naked forms of two people. Tyler and Rosa. Tyler is laying back on the bed completely naked with Rosa on top of him. Her big, round ass is planted firmly over Tyler and she’s bouncing up and down on his dick. She moans and tilts her head back in ecstasy. Tyler barely has to move as Rosa fucks her own pussy for him.
“Tyler!” I shout in complete shock. Rosa yelps and Tyler sits up abruptly. Rosa’s still sitting on his lap, his cock still halfway in her pussy. Rosa climbs off of Ty and he gets up off the bed. His cock is hard and his eyes are flaming. Without warning Ty walks over and slaps me across the face. I screech in shock and fall against the wall in pain. Tears burst from my eyes as I realize what has just happened.
“GET OUT!” he screams at me in such fury that I run from the bedroom in total fear. I hide in the bathroom, locking the door behind me, and rock myself, silently crying from pain and betrayal. My face is stinging and I know there will be a mark. I didn’t realize Ty could have such heavy hand, but he’d certainly laid full force into me. I curl up there on the bathroom floor and cry myself to sleep.
………………………………………………………………..
I wake up early the next morning and dress myself before Tyler wakes up. I don’t know what happened last night, but I don’t want to be around him right now. Looking in the bathroom mirror, I’m not surprised to find that the side of my face, especially around my cheek bone, is still welted and red. I gently touch it with my fingers and pain slices through my cheek. Wincing, I quickly look for something that could help. I take a slightly heavy dose of Tylenol and leave the bathroom. I skip breakfast and find my flat-bill hat stashed in the closet. It’s black with an orange bill, fitted, and unbelievably comfortable. In the mirror, I perfect the angle so that is somewhat hides the red on my face and I hurry out. Pulling on my favorite sweatshirt out of habit, I flip the hood up over my head and hat, further concealing my injury, and run to the bus stop.
I reach the bus stop, but am no further consoled. In fact, I’m unbelievably restless. I can’t ride the bus, the kids will certainly laugh and comment. I can’t call Jay, that would be stupid. Thanking the Lord that I got up early and have extra time, I decide to walk to school. Unfortunately, Sam’s up early too and walking toward the bus stop. She lives just a block down and has to walk the opposite direction of school to reach the bus. I drop my head and tilt it away, hoping she doesn’t recognize me.
“Natalie!” Sam exclaims, immediately recognizing me. I look up, cocking my head in an effort to hide… “What happened?!” she screeches, leaning in closer and there’s no hiding it. Her eyes show sincere concern and she puts her hands on my shoulders, searching my face.
“Sammy, it’s nothing. Just let it go,” I say blankly. Immediately I regret it. I can tell she’s hurt by the way she steps back and stares at me. But there’s nothing I can do to take it back. I attempt a smile, but there’s no way it came close to looking real. I feel so weighted down with emotions and pain, but I hide it, standing up tall and trying to look her in the eyes. But my gaze keeps shifting.
“That’s not nothing, Natalie. And when you’re ready to be my friend again, call me.” She shoves past me, adding insult to injury, and disappears. She’s upset, she’ll get over it. She’s acting out of hurt. I quicken my pace to school.
…………………………………………………………………………………
I reach the building by the time the buses are beginning to pull in. Suddenly, the sight of all those students flooding out of the buses horrifies me. There’s no way I can do this. I run out of sight around the back of the school to the shed row.
“I can’t do it, there’s no way!” I mutter to myself, panic beginning to rise within me.
“Can’t do what?” I jump and spin around. Dylan’s leaning on the side of the building, watching me.
“I didn’t see you there!” I say in startled defense. Dylan just smiles.
“I know.” He replies. That’s kind of creepy. “What happened?” he asked. So the humiliation hadn’t gone unnoticed. I sigh and look around, maybe searching for a way out of this. Dylan straightens up and walks over, placing his hands on my shoulders and looking me square in the eye. “What happened?” he tries again.
“I was in the wrong place at the wrong time,” I mutter, my voice cracking. That’s not enough.
“What happened?” he asks for the third time. Slightly impatient, I step back, shrugging his hands off my shoulders.
“I just overstepped my boundaries, that’s all,” I insist, my voice cracking terribly. Dylan watches me as I back away and turn, heading around the building. Pain and a number of emotions boil up inside me. I get a few feet around the corner and suddenly I collapse on the ground, leaning against the bricks and crying. I keep it as silent as possible, but the overwhelming pain and sadness take over. Arms wrap around me and pull me close and I’m aware of Dylan whispering condolences in my ear, but I can’t make out what he’s saying exactly. I turn around and cry into Dylan’s shoulder, allowing him to embrace me in a hug and rock me slowly.
When I finally get control of myself and the sobs stop, I can feel myself somewhat relax. Dylan rubs my back, trying to let out the tension that I have. I sit back and wipe the tears from my face, wincing and nearly crying out when I brush my sleeve over the side of my face. Dylan lifts my chin up and searches my face, brushing my hair back.
“Are you okay?” he asks simply. His eyes search mine. I take a deep breath and nod.
“Yeah, I’m okay,” I reply. He nods, only half believing it. “We can skip school if you want,” he offers, not really asking permission. I know he wants out as much as I do. I laugh to myself, although the humor is short lived, but I nod and take his hand as he lifts me up.
Dylan lifts my hat up off my head and places it backward on his. Seeing my puzzled expression, he simply grabs my arm and tows me along. I crouch over, copying his movements, and we weave between the sheds out onto the street.
“Where are we going and why do you have my hat?” I demand quietly.
“Shhh, be quiet,” he whispers, leading me down the sidewalk between houses and alleys.
“Dylan, I demand an explanation!” I raise my voice just slightly above a whisper. Then I see where we are going. We round a corner and run up a long alley, then break out into the open. We’re standing the unfinished grounds of a build site for a small house. It’s located up on the hill with a perfect outlook of the town below us. The late morning sun adds a haze of golden yellow to the world below us and I freeze, breathless at the stunning site.
“I’ve never really shown anyone else this…so, you know…don’t tell anyone,” Dylan says, climbing up onto the cement wall. A tiny bit of his thick brown hair sticks out from under the hat and his hands are in his jean pockets. He almost stumbles sideways, but catches himself, not amused. But I smile. In fact, I giggle a little. He glances sideways at me, looking out of the corner of his eyes with a crooked smile. Then looks back up at the sky.
“So this answers the where…so why’d you take my hat?” I questioned. He looks down and scuffed a rock over the hill.
“Ah, just acting out of impulse,” he says in his straightest face. Then we both burst out laughing simultaneously. I join him on the wall and we sit side by side. Then Dylan starts talking. “This…this is, well besides our gang and the dope…this is the only place I can go to get any sense of freedom. It’s the only place I can relax and be content and sort out feelings and stuff.” I look at Dylan, really look at him. He looks at me, his brown eyes searching mine.
“So what’s your sob story?” I ask. Dylan sighs and swings his feet.
“I guess others have it worse. I don’t know. I live in the city part of this area, shootings and stuff daily. Nobody cares what I do or if I make it home alive, so I’ve sort of learned to keep to myself. Grew up like this, never having anybody to turn to or trust. Always scared.”
“What about your parents?” I ask. Dylan looks down, taking a long pause in thought.
“Never knew my parents,” he replies. I’m about to offer my apologies, but I realize that’s the last thing he’d want. He’s been pitied all his life. “I sort of gave up a while ago. Stopped searching and just did whatever came along. You learn you’re gonna make mistakes and nobodies gonna care. You just gotta choose which mistakes to make. Some don’t end well,” he smiles at me, offering his hand. “I expect it’ll be lunch time soon. We gotta find the gang.”
…………………………………………………………………….
When I get home, Tyler’s there. He had finished getting himself an early supper and was helping himself to a beer.
“Natalie, how’d school go?” he asks. I shrug my shoulders and sit down on the couch. “You shouldn’t have walked in on me last night,” he adds. I can feel a bit of anger beginning to boil inside me.
“That was wrong of you to have brought her home like that,” I reply.
“WRONG! I DECIDE RIGHT OR WRONG, NATALIE. I’VE GIVEN YOU EVERYTHING, YOU OWE ME AND YOU KNOW WHAT, I MAKE THE RULES IN MY HOUSE!” Tyler’s sudden explosion of fury scares me off the couch and I jump up, backing up. Where did this new Tyler come from? Apparently finished with me, he leaves for the bathroom. Once the shock has worn off I run out of the house and down the development. Why was Tyler acting like this suddenly? Where did his new personality come from? But the more I think, the less I feel like Tyler’s changed. Before now, I’d never done anything to really upset Tyler. I’d always been in my place and never challenged him or just expected him to respect that I lived there. But now I saw how it was. He was taking care of me and in his twisted mind he saw me in debt to him. Fury boils over in me, but I resist the urge to scream it out.
I reach the bottom of the development, stopping at the edge of the road. My temper simmered down and I just feel hurt now. But I decide to brush it off. I glance up the road and cross quickly, then start walking up the sidewalk toward the bus stop. I sit down on the bench and let out a heavy sigh. My head hurts from the tumult of emotions. I rest my head back and close my eyes.
“Just the girl I wanted to see,” Jay’s deep voice interrupts my thoughts. Straightening up I see the senior in a white tank top and jeans, his hands on his hips. I smile weakly.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“What’s down?” is his reply. It sort of irritates me, but I let it go. I just shrug my shoulders. “I know what you need,” he says, grabbing my arm and pulling me up off the bench.
“What?” I ask. He leads me to his car, motioning for me to get in.
“I wanna show you around my place. I have something for you,” he explains, starting the engine. I strap in, glancing over at him to get a hint of his plan. Jay takes me to an apartment building and leads me up several floors to what I take is his apartment. He swings open the door and steps back for me to walk in.
Stepping into the apartment, the first thing I notice is how big and roomy the apartment is. The ceiling is high and the room is unbelievably big. To the left, all the way on the wall is a stained oak dining table. A little further into the center of the room, taking up a large amount of space is the living area, a large leather couch and a flat screen TV up on a desk against the wall. To the left, changing from hardwood to tile is the kitchen area. An island counter sits at the edge of the tiling with cupboards and the sink against the opposite wall.
“Wow,” I say, taking in the wonder of the apartment.
“Roommates, everybody chips in,” Jay explains, smiling at my reaction. He crosses the room to the kitchen, swinging open the refrigerator door. “Want a drink or a snack?” he offers, pulling lemonade out and setting it on the island.
“No, thank you…well maybe a water,” I say, walking over and leaning on the island. Jay smiles at me as he pours a cup of water and slides it across the counter to me. I take a drink and set it down, looking around the apartment. “So what do ya wanna show me?” I inquire, curious as to what he has up his sleeve. He walks around the island and back into the hallway at the back of the room. He slips through a door to the left and disappears. I shift uncomfortably and finish my water.
Jay returns from the room with a little white box in his hand. I glance at him, then the box, then him, then the box. What does he have in there? Jay sets the box on the counter and slides in front of her.
“Open it,” he says softly. Uncertainly, I pick up the little box. Then slowly, I open it. Resting inside on a pillow of cotton are two black and white feather earrings. Two-inch long, fine-veined feathers hanging from a solid gold hook lay neatly side by side. I suck in my breath.
“Jay, these are amazing!” I exclaim, gently touching one of the earrings. Jay smiles and wraps an arm over my shoulders, giving me a squeeze.
“I knew you would, they reminded me of you instantly,” he whispers into my ear. My gaze is locked on the earrings. The immediate thrill has died down and I just feel flutters and warm thoughts washing all through me. I’m dimly aware of Jay’s lips on my neck, softly kissing. Tyler is completely gone from my mind and all I can think about right now is Jay. Nobody’s ever gotten me anything near this thoughtful or amazing. And I’m sure it was expensive!
“Jay, how much was this?” I ask, almost not sure I wanna know. Jay swings me around ‘til I’m facing him, his hands around my waist.
“Absolutely nothing if it was for you,” he said, looking straight into my eyes. He leaned down slowly and our lips met in a gentle kiss. Then he pulled me closer, altering the kiss into a more meaningful, passionate dance of tongues. His hands slide beneath my shirt and up my back, sending a chill down my spine. I lift my arms up over his shoulders and lay them around his neck. Slowly, Jay lifts my shirt up over my head, dropping it to the floor. His hands explore across my body, settling to softly grope my breasts. I let out a low moan, excited by the arousing feelings. Then he does something I didn’t expect. Jay unbuttons my pants and slides them off my legs. Startled by the sudden invasion, I pull back.
“Is that not okay?” Jay asks, resting his arms around my waist. I think about it, standing in my undergarments. Jay’s never pushed me beyond what I’m willing to do, and what’s the harm in a heavy make-out session?
“I guess it’s fine,” I reply. Then his lips meet my neck, moving up and down from my shoulder to my ear and back. I rest my head sideways, closing my eyes and soaking up the attention. Jay’s hands grip my thighs and he lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist, holding tight so I don’t fall back. I feel him walking, but I am fully unaware of where he is headed. I hear a door swing shut and lock. Then I’m laid down.
Opening my eyes a recognize a bedroom. The door has been locked shut and the room is dim, the only light coming from the open window at the back of the room. Three beds take up the majority of the space, a closet in the wall directly in front of each.
“My room…that’s unfortunately shared,” Jay smiles at me, pulling off his shirt and joining me on the bed. I look around uncertainly. What could Jay have planned? I have a gut feeling where this is indefinitely heading, and a slight apprehension takes hold of me. But Jay’s kiss washes away any doubt and I fall back onto his shoulder, enjoying the feelings he’s giving me. He slides his left hand down my stomach and keeps going. His fingers slide onto my crotch, softly rubbing my clit. I suck in my breath, surprised by the sensual shock and leap of pulse. I can feel Jay’s lips part in a smile momentarily before kissing me again. Jay works his fingers between my legs, causing a constant tingle and flush of feelings. My mind is spinning with conflicted feelings. I’m scared of where this is going, I know we shouldn’t be doing this. Most of all I’m scared Jay is using me…but the feeling is so unnatural. It’s so amazing and satisfying that I can’t get enough. Automatically, I grind my hips on his hand, hesitant that I’m doing something wrong.
Then Jay’s hand slips into my panties. He pauses his kiss as his fingers run through course, bikini-line trimmed hair. Then his finger advances, parting untouched lips and slipping into wetness. I’m slightly embarrassed that I’ve been aroused so, but Jay doesn’t react. I know for sure he’s done this before, so it must be a normal thing. The touch of his hand is fire and ice, chilling and enflaming me all at once. I moan a little louder than the first time, my breaths coming deeper.
Jay pulls his hand out and sits up. He removes his shorts and I see a large bulge barely concealed in his boxers. I’d heard of guys getting boners, but damn! My head roars with thoughts, intentions now made fully clear. I’m really not ready and I dread the shame I could feel, but my body is aching for more. My heart betrays me, leaping for Jay to take me, but I want to hold back. Despite my ongoing torment and reluctance, every physical part of me is saying yes. But then, I feel the decision isn’t mine.
Jay removes his boxers, releasing his rock hard dick. It’s at least 6 inches of pure lust and pleasure. I’m surprised not to see any hair. I knew guys grew hair down their too, and I knew some guys shaved which some women found weird, but it seemed just as normal to me.
Jay leans over me, rubbing his cock softly as he strips off my bra and panties. The decision isn’t mine, I feel he’s not going to stop if I ask him. Panic rips through me as he leans over me, getting ready to penetrate. I know it will hurt and most of all I dread the feeling.
“You okay?” Jay asks in his deepest soft voice. It’s not really a question, he’s going ahead with this regardless, but I nod slightly. He gently rubs the head of his cock up and down across my slit, wetting it down some. The alien object against my body causing a reaction twice as strong as Jay’s fingers had and I hold my breath as a strong tingle rips through me.
Slowly, he begins to ease in. At first, the foreign object slowly penetrating causes panic and I tense up, making the invasion slightly painful. The further he goes in, the harder I tense up. Jay groans as his cock pushes into my tight, virgin vagina. But the pain turns into discomfort. I relax slightly and allow the penetration to go as smoothly as possible. Jay pushes all the way in and pauses, kissing me on the lips and whispering reassurance in my ear. And I give myself totally to Jay. I know everything will be alright, I trust him completely.
Jay gradually begins to pump in and out, creating a friction within. A new sensation washes through me and to my surprise, I feel no pain, just a strange discomfort. The horny senior slowly starts to increase his speed, making sure to take consideration of my comfort. But soon he’s slamming into me, pounding faster than I’d though possible. I feel a growing sensation of…well I don’t know what. The alien discomfort sort of faded into the background and now a friction is building up. The intense, satisfying affection is growing, becoming stronger. I’m moaning now, completely at a loss of control for my body. The noises and feelings are coming without my consent and I arch my back, entangling my hands in the sheets. Gasps, moans, and groans fill the room as well as the rocking of the bed.
Then Jay does what I thought not possible. He increases the speed and strength further! I feel him growing larger inside of me, hardening and coming close to his climax. Suddenly, I scream out in an overpowering wave of the ultimate, wonderful sensation. The orgasm racks my body, causing me to squirm around beneath Jay. Suddenly, Jay pulls out and sucks in his breath. He reaches down and grabs his cock, pumping it until a milky white fluid spurts out and oozes down onto the bed. The sensation slowly dies away from my body and we lay their panting.
The dreaded shame arrives now. My virginity given to the senior bad boy from my school. How could I be so stupid? It was over. All of it. Jay just used me and now he’s gonna cast me aside. I force these thoughts out of my mind so that they don’t show. The last thing I want is Jay’s pity although I’m sure he has none. We dress in silence, Jay cleans up the bed sheets as best he can. I disappear into the kitchen and help myself to another cup of water. My head is throbbing and my heart hurts. I wanna cry. I should never have let Jay go that far. I could have held him longer, maybe instilled true feelings in him if I tried hard enough.
Jay comes back into the room, a warm smile on his face. I focus on the water in my cup, swirling it around and making pretty patterns.
“So how did I do?” I ask, trying to break the ice. I don’t wanna know, but I feel it’s only polite to ask. Jay laughs.
“Are you sure you’re a virgin?” he chuckles. I don’t find amusement in his comment. I’m just down and out of it.
“I was,” I reply. He smiles, closing his face in on mine and looking me in the eyes.
“You were a pro, sweetie,” he kisses me softly and then gets a water himself. His approval sparks some sort of satisfaction in me, but I had just been used as a fuck toy. I was deceived into falling for his “romance”.
I’m sure Jay senses I feel uncomfortable, so he offers to drive me home. I nod absently, not wanting to confront Tyler either. I have no clue what to expect, but everything’s about to change. At school and at home, my life is about to flip.
