One Thousand Apologies – Part 6
Introduction:
The continuing adventures of Joe and his cousin Hannah
It was a story of love and baseball (and the Steelers). It was July of 1979 when Joe’s aunt and her three kids returned from living out of state. Once back home she married a local doctor and moved into a nice home across town from Joe. He hadn’t seen his cousin Hannah for five years, but was quite smitten with her when they met again. After a few weeks it led to their first kiss, and another couple weeks after that they were in each other’s pants and Joe soon lost his virginity to his younger cousin. We pick the story up in mid-September as they try to keep their relationship hot while trying to find time to be together under the noses of their parents.
So look forward to Homecoming games, skinny dipping, the drive-in movie theater, fraternity parties, and oh, that girl Katie at the bowling alley.
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Hannah was everything I had ever hoped for. We were friends, we were lovers – but it was a secret. Not only that we were cousins, but there were still some people who believed that you shouldn’t even be able to read about teenagers in love and having sex, let alone deal with it among their own children.
Hannah reached across the lunch table to put her hand on mine. She looked into my eyes and said, “If this is going to last, sooner or later we’re going to have to tell them. We need to get out front on it, so that we’re in control of the situation.” If there was anything the girl was terrified of, it was not being in control.
I nodded as I replied, “You’re right. Maybe in steps, like getting them used to us hanging out all the time, even if we’re not showing any affection.”
She seemed a little down as she said, “Well, that sounds good, I guess.” Then she composed herself, and sounding more upbeat asked, “So, are you coming to our Homecoming game Friday night?”
Excitedly I replied, “Only if I get to wear my Walnut Heights letter jacket!”
“It’s not like you played football!”
“The jackets all look the same! I promise I won’t root against you guys too hard. I don’t really know very many on our team – the guys who are seniors now were only in 9th grade when I was a senior.”
“The game’s at eight – what time are you going to pick me up?”
I paused to think, and then asked her, “Maybe you can get a ride with Dave and Susie and I can meet yunz there?”
She shrugged and look right at me. “I thought we were going to try being more open.”
I knew it sounded much too whiny when I said, “I KNOW…I know, I just need a little more time.”
I had to laugh as she leered at me through squinted eyes.
I reached for her hand as I said, “C’mon, we need to get you back to school on time.” In a few minutes we were back at her parking lot where we gave each other a short goodbye kiss.
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Friday came quickly. It was a nice day for the middle of September, sunny with a high of seventy five, although I knew the next day would be rainy at best. Of course, with the winds up on the hill, I was probably going to have to zip my letter jacket to stay warm.
Although I was dressed in the road team’s red and gray, I made my way along the walkway at the base of the metal bleachers on the home side of the field, scanning the crowd for some familiar faces. I was less than halfway down when I saw Hannah stand and wave, maybe ten or twelve rows up. Once I was up the steps, I made my way past Dave and Susie to take a seat between the girls. I kissed Hannah then turned to greet the others.
Before I could get a word out Susie punched me in the arm and said “Hey tiger!”
Just a little confused, I gave her a dumbstruck look in return. “Sunday!” she exclaimed, “you really had that one squealing!”
I looked back at Hannah in time to see her burying her face in her hands as she muttered “Oh my God!”
After a second, I weakly answered, “Yeah…I guess so!” Obviously she hadn’t known me for very long.
“Dude” Dave laughed, “You should see how red your face is!”
Hannah yelled back, “I love you too Dave!”
Thankfully Pineland broke off a long run which drew Dave and Susie’s attention back to the game, leaving Hannah and me to hold hands in relative peace, only interrupted when she joined them in cheering some event on the field.
Walnut Heights held a 12-8 halftime lead when Dave and I went to stand in line for hot dogs from the concession stand. As the Homecoming events took place out on the field, he asked me, “Some guys and their girlfriends are going out after the game – I think you know all of them from baseball – you two want to come along?”
“Where yunz goin?”
“Oh, probably just down to the strip mine for some beers, but it’s a chance to hang out.”
“Yeah, sure, I’m up for it, I’ll ask Hannah when we get back.”
An hour and a half later the four of us met up in the parking lot with three other couples, all Pineland graduates who had returned for homecoming. I did indeed know all the guys, although I had only met one of the girls.
Soon we had a caravan which headed a few miles out the state route, then turned into a dirt road which took us another half mile into the woods. I was just following along to the point where we all parked in a small clearing a few yards from a water filled pit. Hannah and I walked over to where the others were unloading a couple cases of beer from Bill’s trunk. I grabbed the bag of hot dogs and buns and we all settled around and old camp fire, which the collection of rusty cans in the surrounding grass made me think this site had seen regular use over a long period of time.
Apparently Vicky and Bill were back together, and J.P. and Shawn brought girls who were new to me. I thought both were O.K. looking but nothing great, however Vicky was just delicious and had been getting my dick twitching since the summer before.
I decided to keep my eyes and hands on Hannah instead of Vicky, as the ten of us spent an hour so swigging down some pretty horrendous Milwaukee’s Best while we roasted dogs and marshmallows on the ends of sticks.
After all us guys took turns bragging about our athletic prowess and as we got a little more filled with beer, the boasting turned to sex.
J.P. proclaimed that any guy who left his lady without an orgasm was a true asshole, which got an enthusiastic thumbs up from Shelly.
Bill got a slap in the arm from Vicky when he wanted to let everyone know that his was so big that she couldn’t help but cum. I couldn’t help but notice some movement in my crotch when I conjured up a mental image of Vicky impaled.
Dave was looking a little plastered when pointed at me and said “Well Joe was trying to tell me that his was bigger than mine, but I don’t know!”
Shawn’s girlfriend asked, “So Joe, how do you know how big Dave is?”
I could feel my face turning red as I muttered, “Well – it was a third party observation.”
Everyone spun around to Hannah, who blurted out, “Don’t look at me, Dave’s my brother for Christ’s sake!”
Then Susie asked me, “Wait, was this someone before me and Hannah, who you were both with?”
I exclaimed, “No! Hannah was my first!” which made her grab the front of my shirt and spit, just inches from my face, “Just shut up!” which had everyone else going, “Oooooh!”
I tried to put an end to it with, “It’s just – complicated, never mind!
With that Shawn stood up and announced, “Well that gives me an idea – speaking of naked, how ‘bout we go skinny dipping?”
We all stood in a circle around the camp fire, everyone’s eyes surveying everyone else to see who would be the first to act. Shawn’s shirt was off while some of the others started to pull up the bottom of theirs.
I was very conflicted as I tried to decide. The thought of it was very exciting, something much more bold than I had ever done before. If I did, I’d be naked in front of not only my girlfriend, but four other girls and all of their boyfriends. Would we all be checking out each other packages? The other girl’s boobs? What if I wasn’t very impressive? What if I got a hard on in front of all the other girls? Was Hannah going to be pissed later, like after I had shown my erection to Ellen? I also wasn’t sure how cold the water was or how deep it went. I was afraid I might jump in and sink fifty feet to the bottom.
Dave had his shirt half way up when he looked around Susie to whisper to me, “Are you going to be looking at my girlfriend’s coochie?”
I whispered back, “Are you going to be looking at your sister’s?” He only gave me a stupid grin in return while Hannah punched me.
It seemed much longer than the actual minute or two when Vicky announced, “It looks like we’re not going to do this, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea after all – Shawn!”
He just muttered, “Ah, what the fuck…” as we all sat back down.
That kind of killed the buzz and soon we were all picking up our empty cans and packing to go home. I had been intending on having Hannah go back with Dave and Susie, but I wasn’t too comfortable with his level of sobriety and invited her to ride with me instead.
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I had been hoping to spend some time Saturday afternoon back in the woods by Hannah’s house, hiking some trails with her even if I would have brought along my transistor radio in order to keep tabs on the Pirates and Pitt’s season opener.
Unfortunately, Mother Nature didn’t cooperate, as a steady drizzle and temps that didn’t even hit sixty kept me in doors all day. The Bucs beat the Mets to keep a slim half game lead over the Expos, and freshman quarterback Dan Marino debuted in a twenty four-nothing spanking of Kansas.
All that sporting news kept me in a good mood as Mom and I headed out for Saturday night bowling. Once there I settled in, greeting our teammates Ronnie and then Katie and her dad as they arrived. I was psyched for a good night and opened great with a two-seventeen in my first game.
Midway through the second game I was standing near the back wall, deeply concentrating on my bowling as I watched the others take their turns on the lanes, when Katie slid in next to me. I acknowledged her with a polite, “Hey, how ya doin?
She looked over at me, then caught me a little off guard with “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah, sure.”
So of course she asked the big one – “Are you seeing anyone?”
I looked at her, paused, bit my lip, and finally answered, “Yeah…”
“Well, your mom told my dad that you weren’t…”
Did that mean my mother was trying to set me up? I was in need of some quick thinking. “Um – I have been seeing someone for about six weeks now, but my parents don’t know about it yet.”
“Oh, why’s that?”
I could feel the demon on one shoulder and the angel on the other, both whispering in an ear. Katie was practically asking me out, and being with her would have none of the baggage that existed in my relationship with Hannah – but I loved Hannah, I was happy with Hannah, even if it was in secret, and I certainly didn’t want to break her heart. I was getting tired of saying it, but the only explanation I could offer Katie was, “It’s – complicated.”
“Oh. O.K. Well – it’s your time to bowl.”
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Tess and Doc’s TV, at near thirty five inches, was a good excuse to spend Steelers’ Sunday over at my aunt’s house where we could root on our team in a crowd, and gave me some extra time hanging out with Hannah, even if it was mostly platonic.
That week the game was in St. Louis and didn’t start until four, so until then I hung out in my room listening to the Pirates, who went down to the Mets three to nothing and fell into a first place tie.
The Steelers tried their best to totally ruin the day, entering the fourth quarter down twenty one to seven to the Cardinals, but a Rocky Bleier run and a Terry Bradshaw pass tied the game, allowing Matt Bahr to kick the game winning field goal as time expired.
As if that wasn’t enough fun, as soon as the game was over, Dave, Susie, Hannah and I were heading over to the drive-in to catch a couple movies. They rarely showed any first runs, so we would be treated by The Life of Brian and Apocalypse Now, both of which had been out since mid-summer.
Dave’s new wheels were a couple year’s old hatch back which was in pretty good shape, and definitely had more inside room than my Pinto – starting with actual back doors. On top of that, the back seats folded down, and with some padding would allow two adult sized people to stretch out in the back and do whatever comes to mind. I made a mental note to ask my parents if I could trade in the Pinto.
Before the first movie got started, we all went to the concession stand and got drinks and a couple big tubs of popcorn with lots of butter while Hannah got herself some candy.
Back at the car we spread out a pair of blankets on the ground in front of the car and settled in to watch the movie. Hannah refused to share any of her Sno-Caps. I tried the sad face and even pinched her butt, but that only got me punched in return.
I loved the Holy Grail which had come out a few years earlier but I wasn’t quite sure what to make of this movie as we watched the opening scenes. I was skeptical how the baby in the manger and the Sermon on the Mount would fit into the Python’s edgy, lampooning comedy.
Hannah leaned over to whisper, “You think these guys are funny? I don’t know about this.”
I thought about what I had seen to that point, then said “It looks like they’re not making fun of Jesus, but instead of Christians, or those that say that they are. They were very respectful in how they showed his manger, or the sermon, but the jokes were about the people in the back who couldn’t hear – or the healed leper who was upset because he couldn’t work as a beggar anymore.”
I did laugh out loud when Brian was painting “Romans Go Home” on the temple wall, and instead of arresting him, the centurion corrected Brian’s Latin grammar and told him to write the correct phrase one hundred times!
It wasn’t long before Susie got up and led Dave by the hand over to the front seat of the car. It was getting a little cooler outside but I suppose she had other reasons for wanting to be out of sight.
That didn’t stop Hannah from later giving my crotch a little pat while telling me, “I’ve got my own friend called Biggus Dickus!”
We both laid down on the blanket, with her head on my right shoulder while she absent mindedly ran her fingers over my chest.
After Brian found himself accidentally in the row of prophets, he had to ad-lib something to the gathered crowd, and went on about how one must not believe everything they are told and instead must think about and figure out things for themselves.
Without moving her head from my shoulder, Hannah asked, “Do you believe in God?”
Quickly I answered, “Yeah.”
“Well you don’t go to church.”
I paused to collect my thoughts, then responded, “I used to, up until I was twelve or thirteen. I still believe in God, and I try to be a good person, but I just got sort of bored with going to church.”
“Do you think he likes what we’re doing?”
That scared me a little, hoping that it wasn’t a sign that she was having second thoughts. “I know we’re supposed to wait until we’re married to have sex, but people fall in love, and we’ve only ever done it with each other, so it’s not like we’re sluts or anything.”
“Well, we’re still lying to our parents.”
“I know, I know – we’ll do something.”
Soon the movie ended as Eric Idle hung on his cross next to Brian, from where he serenaded him with
Life’s a piece of shit
When you look at it
For life is quite absurd
And death’s the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin – give the audience a grin
Enjoy it – it’s your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of life…
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
During intermission we all stood in line to take a piss, then once back at the car Hannah said to me, “It’s getting a little chilly out, do you want to get in the car?”
In the back seat, Hannah and I had to huddle near the middle in order to see the movie screen between Dave and Susie’s front seats.
Soon the jungles of Vietnam were aflame to the sounds of Jim Morrison, followed by Martin Sheen sitting alone in a hotel room wondering why the fuck he was there.
Soon enough Sheen’s character was off the H.Q. to be briefed on his mission, and that’s when I had to whisper to Hannah, “Han Solo!”
“What? Where?”
“The dorky looking guy with the short hair and the glasses – that’s Harrison Ford!”
It was thirty some minutes into the movie and it seemed like his mission to bring back the war criminal Major Kurtz was an excuse to show this surreal journey through the landscape and the way Coppola portrayed the war as inanity. To no one in particular, I said out loud “Heart of Darkness.”
Hannah, who had her head on my right shoulder, looked up to ask, “What’s that?”
“Oh, it’s a book I read in high school, from around the turn of the century – a novel about a guy going up the Congo River in Africa back in the colonial days in the eighteen hundreds, looking at what the Europeans had done to the natives, and comparing what we consider civilized and barbaric. It looks like he’s just doing the same story here, but set in Vietnam.”
She said, “Wow, that’s interesting” but at the same time didn’t appeared to be too interested in the movie. She curled back up on my shoulder and started letting her hand explore my chest and belly, pulling my shirt out of my pants so she could slip her hand inside and play with the hairs near my belly button.
A few minutes after that, Hannah had undone my belt and unsnapped my pants, and then had her hand inside my boxers. As she began to squeeze and stroke me, one of her finger nails scraped the soft skin of my growing cock, causing me to cry “Ouch, be careful!”
Hannah quickly put her finger to her mouth and went “Shhh!” but Susie had already asked “What are you guys doing back there?” as she turned to look back at us.
Hannah snapped, “Just look straight ahead and watch the movie!” which Susie did.
Saved from embarrassment, I too continued to watch the screen as Hannah softly stroked and fondled me. As I relaxed and enjoyed her touch, my mind wandered back a few weeks. I chuckled softly, then whispered to Hannah, “On the way back from the reunion, my mom warned me to be careful – that you might try to seduce me.”
She dropped my cock and yelled, “What? The HELL!”
I cried out, “Wait! What’s the matter?” as her reaction caught me by surprise.
This time Susie did turn all the way back to check on the commotion, and seeing my erection pointed straight up squealed, “Oh my God!”
“She told you not to look!”
Dave did keep himself from looking into the back seat, but asked, “What happened?”
Very sarcastically Hannah answered, “His mom told him I was going to seduce him!”
“Whoa! Did she say anything else?”
“There was a little more,” I hesitated, “that Hannah had been caught with an older boy, and that if I wasn’t careful I could get in trouble.”
Hannah looked even more pissed as she nearly shouted, “I can’t believe she did that!”
Susie had her eyes back to straight ahead when she asked, “but Joe, how does your mom know about stuff like that, and – wait a minute,” looking at Dave, “I thought you guys went to the reunion a couple weeks ago!”
I took a deep breath and exhaled. “They did – and, we did too. Their mom and my mom are sisters.”
“Hold on – so – you guys are like – cousins? God, you’re a kinky bastard!”
“Hey, I’m nothing compared to your boyfriend there – but, it’s not like that, we just, you know, met and fell in love. I’d just as soon not be her cousin if it, like…meant we could get married and live happily ever after.”
Hannah looked up at me and asked softly, “So you’d marry me?”
I quickly said, “Well, not right now…” then realized that didn’t sound good all. I had to think quickly to get myself out of the hole. “I mean, you’d have to finish school n’at before we did – but yeah.”
Susie whispered to Dave, “He might be bigger than you!” but he just jokingly snapped back “Shut up! It’s how you use it.”
Hannah hugged me with one arm and laid her head on my chest, not speaking for several minutes. It was hard to tell in the darkness, but I thought she might be crying.
After all of us sitting quietly for so long, I realized I was still hanging, half-erect, out of my boxers. I whispered to Hannah, “Are you going to finish me?”
She looked up defiantly and said, “No – I don’t want to be blamed if your mom finds any cum stains on your underwear.”
“Please don’t be that way – I didn’t want you to be upset.”
“Then just don’t say anything.”
Those were the last words any of us spoke for quite a while, and soon both the girls were asleep. It was after eleven and Sheen still hadn’t found Brando out in the woods. I thought, this movie is taking fucking forever.
After another twenty minutes or so Dave asked, “Joe, do you want to stay until the end? I got school in the morning and both the girls are out.”
“Nah, we can go if you want.”
Hannah woke up as Dave was driving out the gravel road back to the street. I put my arm around her, then later gave her a good night kiss in the car and out of sight, before I walked her to the door. Once she was inside, I went to my car to head home, while Dave had to go to Susie’s to drop her off.
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It bugged me all day Monday at school that Hannah was upset, and I made sure to call her right after I got home. “Hey, Aunt Tess, can I talk to Hannah?”
“Yeah, sure – HANNAH! It’s Joe!”
A minute later the line clicked as she picked up the phone in her parent’s bedroom. “I got it, mom.” We waited for the second click of the kitchen phone hanging up, then she said into the phone, “What’s up?”
“I was checking to see how you’re doing. I hated to see you upset like that.”
Very flatly she said “I’ll be fine.”
I was learning how to listen to women and I knew that wasn’t exactly the truth. I asked, “Wanna do lunch on Wednesday? I can’t wait to see you again!” in an effort to cheer her up.
She paused, then said “Yeah, O.K., I think that will be good.”
“Great, see you then, don’t worry about things.”
“Thanks, see ya.”
Still, I felt very restless with the thought of not seeing her again for another day and a half. In the mean time, I would occupy myself with the Pirates, as they were heading into Montreal tied for the lead with the Expos.
The game was nothing until the top of the third when Omar Moreno led off with a single, stole second, was bunted to third, and scored and Dave Parker’s single to right field. In the fifth, the Pirates’ pitcher Don Robinson led off with a hit and two outs later Parker again singled in another run. The Expos got a run on a double and a single in the bottom of the fifth, but that was it for the rest of the game as Robinson threw a complete game to best Montreal’s ace Steve Rogers two to one.
The next day at school I had a chance to share my Bucs euphoria with Dan as we played Asteroids in the basement of the student union.
Tuesday night the Pirates got a quick lead with three in the top of the first on four singles and an error, but the Expos scored a pair in the third and one in the sixth to tie it, as after that first inning Bill Lee and Woody Fryman proceeded to throw up a bunch of zeroes.
My heart was pounding through the ninth and tenth innings, the tension breaking free with a loud shout as Willie Stargell crushed a two run homer in the eleventh which was the margin in a Pirates five-three win, putting them two games ahead with only thirteen left to play.
The Pirates sweep of the two games in Montreal had me in a great mood heading towards lunch with Hannah on Wednesday, almost forgetting the tension that had arisen between us on Sunday. I could only hope that she was as well recovered.
As usual, we met out by the patch of trees. I greeted her with a short kiss, then we walked hand in hand towards the student union. In late September, it was still sunny but brisk as the temperature barely broke sixty after having been in the mid seventies for several days.
“Feeling better yet?”
She tightened her mouth and looked down at the ground as she said, “Yeah, but I wasn’t really mad at you, I’m sorry for being so mean.”
“It’s O.K., I’ll get over it.”
She looked at me, and sounding annoyed replied, “What really ticks me off, still, is that my mom would tell those things to your mom, and that they don’t trust me.”
We stopped outside the doors of the diner. I put my hands on her waist, looked deep in her eyes, and told her, “Well, I love you and I will stick up for you, no matter what.”
Hannah kissed me and we hugged each other for a minute before she complained of the chill wind and we went inside to eat.
After twenty minutes of food and small talk I was walking her back to her school. As we stopped at the road, I asked, “Volleyball on Friday?”
Her eyes lit up, and she said, “Yeah, I’d like that, I need some fun.”
I mockingly asked, “So I’m not fun enough?”
She laughed and punched me in the arm, then said, “Oh, you know what I mean!” We kissed one last time before she made her way across the street.
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When I got to Database, and after the Pirates’ sweep in Montreal, Dan ran up to tell me about a song he had written to the tune of The Devil Went Down To Georgia. My mission, should I choose to accept it, was to get through on the phone to Roy Fox on KDKA in Pittsburgh and read it on the air before the Expos came to town next week.
Unfortunately, the Pirates were doing their best to not cooperate. They lost two of three in Philadelphia, then fell two-nothing in Chicago on Friday afternoon game. After being in first place every day since we were at the stadium for Milner’s grand slam, they now found themselves a game back with only ten to go. My stomach was in knots.
On the way to volleyball, Hannah asked, “What’s the matter? You’re awful quiet.”
“The Pirates lost again today, and now they’re out of first and there’s only a week left in the season.”
Teasingly she said, “Hey, I love baseball – but it’s only baseball!”
In mock outrage I shot back, “What? Bite your tongue! Anything short of winning the World Series is a failed season, and they haven’t even been in the playoffs for three years now. This is it, they can do it!”
“Yeah, but no need to give yourself gray hairs worrying about it!”
I laughed and said, “Yeah, I guess – well, what’s up with you, things looking up?”
She sighed, then said, “Well, yes and no. Things have been fine at home, but after lunch on Wednesday a couple ninth grade girls who were smoking out in the parking lot saw me kiss you and gave me some crap about it.”
“What did you say?”
In a lilting sarcasm she said, “I told them they only wish they could look good to a college guy!”
I still sounded a little concerned as I asked, “Are you worried they might be saying stuff about you?”
“Well, they only saw us kissing, it’s not like we were making out or anything!”
I waited outside the girl’s locker room for Hannah to exit after finishing her post-volleyball shower. Once she arrived, I really admired the way she looked with her still slightly damp hair swept back. I went a little longer that usual for a ‘hello kiss’, then pinched her butt as I pulled away and told her “Wow, you really look extra hot tonight!”
“Well, just watch your hands, buster!”
I asked, “How’s this?” as I slid my fingers between hers, holding hands as we walked out of the sports center.
As before, we had about an hour and a half before her curfew, and Hannah looked up at me and asked, “Are there any parties going on tonight?”
“Probably, let’s walk up by the townhouses.” We didn’t have to go far to see a half dozen or so people with cups in their hands standing near a doorway.
There was a guy at the door who said, “Two dollar cover with student I.D.” as we got within a few feet.
I handed him four ones and my photo I.D. card. He pointed at a legal pad and said, “Sign here. Then he asked Hannah, “Where’s your I.D.?”
I answered, “She’s my girlfriend, but she doesn’t go to school here.”
He looked up for a second and sighed, then told her, “Just scribble your name on the paper.”
The first floor of the townhouse was filled with smoke, music, people and conversation. I led Hannah to the kitchen where there was a keg, a stack of plastic cups, and plates of chips and pretzels. I asked her, “How many times have you been out drinking?”
“Not many – since we moved here they’ve all been with you. Why’d you ask?”
“I want to make sure you know your limit. For me, three cups is enough to get me a buzz, then I sip the fourth one the rest of the night to make it look like I’m still drinking.”
“O.K., maybe I’ll stick to two tonight, since we only have an hour or so.”
I filled a cup for each of us and then led her back out to the living room. Every other time I had been to one of these, which had been most every weekend, I had arrived by myself but hoping to leave with someone. That was the first time I arrived with a date, which called for a new game plan. Instead of chatting with some of the guys I knew while I attempted to gather the courage to speak to any reasonably attractive female, I dropped into an empty spot on the couch and pulled Hannah down onto my lap.
We both listened to the music and sipped on beer while we exchanged quiet comments about the people we saw milling around us. After squirming around on my lap a couple times, Hannah noticed the growing hardness inside my slacks. She gave me a sly smile and asked, “Oh, does Herman miss me?”
Herman? I asked myself. Oh well. I whispered in her ear, “Yeah, I think he does. How long has it been since you’ve had an orgasm?”
“About twenty four hours!”
I laughed then added, “No, I mean with someone else.”
“Who said I was alone?”
I grabbed her waist and startled tickling, and immediately Hannah squealed and jumped in surprise, spilling some of her beer on my pants. Looking at my pants and then at me, she asked sarcastically, “I suppose you’re gonna want me to clean that up?”
I smirked as I suggested, “You can lick it off!”
Hannah got a really big smile as she teased, “I’d rather lick what’s underneath!”
“Oh my, you’ve got a dirty little mind!”
She took a more serious tone as she asked, “My mind is not little, but seriously, is there any place private around here?”
I nodded towards the stairs and said, “I think these have three bedrooms upstairs.”
She grabbed my arm, and staring straight in my eyes said, “Did you bring your rubbers?”
“Ooh, that sounds even better!” I teased.
Slowly, and a little louder, she repeated, “I said, you got any rubbers?”
“Yes, always!”
She nodded downwards and said, “Check to make sure!”
“Yes dear!” I pulled my wallet out of my left pocket then said, “See!” as I held up the foil pack I retrieved from inside the wallet.
Hannah jumped off my lap and said, “Great! Let’s go!” as she reached back to take my hand.
We made our way up the steps to find a handful of people milling around in the hallway. One door opened, which turned out to be the bathroom, and one of those who had been waiting took his turn to relieve himself.
I said “Hi!” to no one in particular as we both stood in the line sipping our beers. After a couple minutes a different door opened and a smiling couple emerged, hand in hand.
I whispered, “There!” to Hannah and the couple was barely clear of the door before we squeezed past and into the room.
From the way the room was decorated, there must have been a bunch of chicks who lived in this townhouse unit – but my attention was on the young lady in front of me who already had her shirt and pants off and faced me in only her panties and her 32B bra.
I turned back to make sure the door was closed and locked, then threw off my own shirt before I wrapped my arms around may waiting lover. My tongue pushed past her lips and after a few seconds my hands went to unsnapping her bra.
With her then bare-chested, I cupped each of her breasts in my hands, then dropped my head down to take a nipple into my mouth. She wasted no time in unfastening my belt and pants, then pushed both my pants and boxers to my ankles where I kicked them off.
On her knees, she took me into her mouth, her tongue generating waves of bliss as I slid in and out. It felt great but it really wasn’t what I was after at that moment. I pulled her up and said, “Get your pants off, and let me return the favor!”
Naked, Hannah sat on the end of the bed and laid back. She took a look around at the room and asked me, “So who’s bed is this?”
“I don’t know, and I really don’t care right now!” I dropped to me knees and spread her legs to give my face room to fit between her thighs. She grabbed my hair and was moaning, “Yes, yes!” as my tongue found her clit. I sucked on it and slid a finger inside her as she continued to thrust herself into my face.
Once I was satisfied that she was sufficiently wet, I got the wrapper from my pants, opened it, and stood between Hannah’s legs while I rolled the condom over my six and a half rock hard inches.
She slid up on the bed and I got on my knees between her thighs. I placed the tip of my latex covered cock at her entrance and slowly pushed myself inside. Maybe two inches at a time, then back out, then in even deeper.
Hannah pulled my face down so she could jab her hard tongue between my lips the same as my hips were pistoning between hers. She wrapped her ankles behind my back to try to pull me in as deep as possible. With each stroke I’d pull nearly out, then slam down until my balls bounced off her ass.
I loved to watch her face during sex – she just looked so beautiful and I enjoyed knowing that it was me who was creating all the expressions on that face.
She squealed and squeaked as each of my thrusts and the weight of my body on hers forced air from her lungs. I could tell she was getting close as she scratched my back with her nails as she moaned, “Oh God yes!”
I thought I heard the door knob rattle behind me but I was too busy coming close to my own climax. I heard the noise again as Hannah yelled, “Oh God, oh God – OH SHIT!”
As her body stiffened in orgasm, I heard a female voice behind me yell, “What the fuck? This is my room!”
I was shooting my own load into my condom, then as I came down from the high I looked back to see wide eyes set in a very red face. The best that I could think of to say was, “I’m sorry, but it’s not like we were the first ones in here tonight!”
That didn’t seem to make her any happier. “Just hurry up and get dressed. I’ll wait outside.”
As the door closed behind me I looked down at Hannah, laying underneath me during the whole exchange. She whispered to me, “Oh my God, she saw me doing it with you!”
“Well, unless she’s a dyke I think most of what she got to see was my ass!”
“Gosh, God’s gift to women and it took you until nineteen to get one in bed!”
I said, “C’mon, let’s get cleaned up and get out of here” as I went to the waste basket to hide my used rubber. By the time I turned back Hannah was dressed and I then threw my clothes back on as quickly as possible.
When we left the room the young lady who resided there was in the hall with her arms crossed, tapping her foot on the floor. That I expected, but both Hannah and I turned beet red when everyone else in the hallway started applauding our appearance.
We headed straight out the door when we got to the bottom of the steps. Once outside, I started laughing at the absurdity of it all. Hannah hit me in the arm and said, “What is so funny?”
I continued walking towards the sports center parking lot as I responded, “Ah, c’mon – you’re the one who blew me in the men’s room and laughed about not getting caught, and now you’re going to get all uptight when we did get caught?”
She sounded honestly afraid as she replied, “But they saw us having sex – they saw me naked! What if they start talking?”
I tried to sound reassuring as I explained, “One – I don’t think anyone saw much of you with my big ass on top of you and two – no one here knows who you are. If anything, they’d be talking about me!”
As we continued to walk, she sounded somewhere between sarcastic and teasing as she asked, “So I’m going to be some notch on your bedpost you can brag about?”
It did sound somewhat boastful as I replied, “I have to be honest, some people are going to see me differently now, but you aren’t some notch, you’re my only notch!”
“Yeah, and it better stay that way, once all the girls hear about Joe the Stud.”
“You know me, I’m not that kind of person.”
“I hope so.”
I held her hand most of the drive back to her house and gave her a nice, sloppy wet kiss before we left the car. I told her, “Thank you for a very wonderful and exciting evening!”
“Shut up and walk me to the door!”
All in all, I thought it was a hoot. Of course I loved every chance to make out with my girlfriend, but I thought that just maybe I’d lose my reputation as the shy, virginal nerd.
I got home midway through the eleven o’clock news, then my parents and I all went to bed after Johnny Carson’s monologue. As I was staring at the ceiling, basking in the glow of what had happened just more than an hour earlier, I could hear my parents getting into it on the other side of the wall.
Mom was a screamer, and between her moans and squeals, the rhythmic squeaking of their bed springs and the fresh memory of Hannah, it took no time for me to have a handful of hard cock. I timed my strokes and squeezes just right, so that my warm seed spread over my hand at the same time as my mother’s throaty growls signaled her orgasm in the adjacent bedroom.
====================================================
Saturday afternoon Pitt’s game with North Carolina was on the radio at noon, but their offense just wasn’t in rhythm as they lost seventeen-seven, evening their record at one and one.
The Pirates’ game was on T.V. and started at two-thirty out in Chicago. They played a solid game, building a three to nothing lead after five, and held on for a four-one victory – but they were still a half game back of the Expos at the end of the day.
After supper Mom and I headed out to the bowling alley. It was a typical night, I was bowling well, and was spending time between frames watching “Scholastic Quiz” on the T.V. Katie came over a few times, watching as I tried to answer the toss-up questions before any of the players on the two high school teams, as the show was broadcast live from the studio a couple of miles down the street.
During a commercial break Katie said to me, “I’m impressed, how do you know all that stuff?”
I couldn’t help boast just a little, as I explained in detail, “Actually I’m much better at history and science, and I suck at lit – I hardly ever read any fiction. I’ve watched ‘Jeopardy’ ever since I was little, and I was on my high school quiz team for three years and I’ve been on the college team both of my years there.”
Katie reached out and lightly touched my arm as she replied, “Like I said, really impressive.”
Just then I heard a woman call out “Meredith!” and I looked to my right to see Aunt Tess about halfway down to our end of the lanes, with all three kids trailing behind her. I looked to Mom as she approached her sister, and heard Tess say, “We were on this hill for dinner on this hill and I thought I’d stop in to say hello!”
When my eyes turned back to my three cousins, Hannah was staring at me with a wide eyed, open mouth look of horror on her face. She was frozen for a few seconds, then turned and ran to the exit.
I rushed over to tell Mom, “I’ll be right back”, then I myself ran to the exit in pursuit of Hannah.
She was standing in the parking lot, just outside the door, sobbing and shivering in the cool night air.
I reached for her, asking “Hannah, what’s the matter?” but she just shot back with “Don’t touch me!”
I was stunned and confused as I pleaded, “What?”
Hannah had her hands on her hips and was nearly shouting, “WHAT? What are you doing with that girl in there?”
I continued to plead, “She’s someone I bowl with. There’s nothing going on! We were just talking!”
“JUST TALKING? You couldn’t take your eyes off her tits! And she had her hand on your arm!”
“Honest – I already told her I’m seeing someone!”
Sarcastically she replied, “Why, did she ask you?”
“Well…yeah. But I told her I was taken, and I am – I love you, and I don’t think about her that way.” Well, that was a lie, considering the time I pictured Katie under me as I was in the middle of fucking Hannah.
“Bullshit.”
Damn it, I thought, she must have really been pissed, because she never swore unless she was drunk, or really mad, or both. “Ah, c’mon – I have to go back in, but we need to talk about this – and you need to get yourself together before your mom wants to know what’s wrong.”
“I don’t want to talk, and I don’t think you should come over to watch the Steelers’ game tomorrow. I don’t want to see you right now.”
“Please?”
“No, just leave me alone.”
I ran back in to find that the rest of the team was waiting for me to throw my frame. I apologized, but couldn’t concentrate very well and pulled the ball left for only three pins. The second ball was a little better, but I failed to convert the spare.
Done with my frame, I quickly went to the back seats and sat, staring at the floor. Katie came up next to me and asked, “Was that…” and I cut her off with a stern “Yes.”
She paused, then asked, “Was that because of you and me?”
“Yes.”
“She seems a little young…”
I snapped my head towards Katie and stared right through her as I tried to hold back my tears.
“Yeah, right – none of my business. I think I have to go bowl.”
I don’t think I said a word the rest of the time I was in the lanes. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to avoid Mom on the way home, as she asked, “What was that thing with Hannah? Why are you so upset?”
I knew I wasn’t going to be able to lie my way out of it, but I hoped I’d be able to leave out just enough of the gory details. “Hannah got jealous when she saw me with Katie.”
“I told you to be careful around her.”
“It’s not her fault, Mom, we’re good friends – but yes, apparently she thought there was more there. It was really hard to get her calm, because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. I still want to be friends with her.”
“God, just be careful Joe. I don’t want to see either of you get hurt.”
====================================================
As great as I had felt the night before, that night felt like I had my heart ripped out. I fell asleep with tears in my eyes as I was trying to figure out how to make things right with Hannah.
I knew I dreamed but I couldn’t remember any of them, just that it had been a restless night. So of course I didn’t feel much better when I woke on Sunday morning. I took a long hot shower, but once back in my room I couldn’t find anything to interest me. I wanted to talk to Dan, but he wasn’t home from church yet. I didn’t want to watch “Meet the Press” and the only thing on the radio was church services and polka music. I dug through my box of cassettes to see if there was anything that might interest me, and settled on Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours.
The music failed to distract me from my thoughts, as I found myself flat on my back, staring at the ceiling and trying to start a conversation with God. I knew Hannah was pissed but didn’t see where anything was really my fault. I had told Katie that I had a girlfriend, but that shouldn’t mean I couldn’t talk to her. I thought Hannah was overboard in her reaction, but didn’t want to tell her that in fear that she’d get even more angry.
Finally the clock struck noon and I got on the phone to Dan. He was eager to ask me, “You gonna call Roy Fox tomorrow?”
“Yeah, I hope I get through – I’ve been practicing.”
Once I was sure my parents weren’t in earshot I swung the conversation around to what had happened with Hannah.. His “…and how many girlfriends have I had?” response wasn’t much help. At that point I was thinking all my friends must have been gay or nerds.
Once the one o’clock kickoff neared, I went to the T.V. room and my father’s “You’re gracing us with your presence?’ response was as sarcastic as ever. He grabbed one of his latest shooting magazines and went downstairs to read it while Mom turned the T.V. and I settled in on the love seat to watch the game.
The Steelers didn’t provide much excitement, as I sat there quietly watching for most of the first two and a half hours of the game. I wasn’t on my feet and screaming until there was only a minute left in the game, when Terry Bradshaw hit his tight end Bennie Cunningham with a twenty eight yard touchdown pass to give Pittsburgh a seventeen to thirteen come from behind win, and a still perfect four and oh won loss record.
The victory had lifted my spirits somewhat, but I still wasn’t looking forward to laying around my room for rest of the day. I grabbed my coat and transistor radio and told Mom that I’d be back by six.
I always enjoyed roaming the woods by myself, and although I usually limited myself to a few acres up the street from us, that day I decided to go exploring.
Back in high school, in P.A. history class, we had learned about the first Negro settlement in town, dating back to the eighteen twenties. There was supposed to be an old homestead up on the side of the mountain at the west end of town. A while before I had found the likely location on my topographic map, but I had never taken the time to go hunting for it.
The Pirates’ game had started at two-thirty out in Chicago, and by the time I got it on the car radio they were in the fourth inning and already ahead six to nothing. Rick Reuschel was knocked out of the game and Dave Geisel, who had been born in our town, was on for the Cubs.
I drove past the Slovak cemetery and followed the gravel road straight up the mountain. After another half mile or so it ended in a clearing with a house maybe a hundred yards to the right. I put the transistor on the Pirates’ game, put it in my shirt pocket, and started my hike up the ancient road in front of me.
It had originally been a military road built by the British before the revolution. They dug out a roadbed and filled it with large stone slabs for the wagon wheels to run over. By the latter part of the twentieth century nature had reclaimed most of the road, but it’s path was easy to follow – except for when I slipped on a moss covered slab and landed in a puddle.
I had been heading up hill for nearly a mile when the woods opened into a large clearing on the left side of the road. There was a fair sized pond on the other side, and I spotted the blue and red color of the four American flags which had been placed, every Memorial Day, on the graves of Civil War soldiers. Two of those graves were marked, John Brown and John Smith, both members of the 4th PA Colored Calvary, Grand Army of the Republic. There were dozens more field stones in the small cemetery, but none bore more than initials.
I sat and pondered what it must have been like for those people living in apparent isolation, having to come down off the mountain to interact with their white neighbors. I recalled that the land had stayed in their hands until the state had taken it over for game lands in the nineteen fifties. Being on the east facing side of the mountain, the sun was fading earlier than usual and soon I made my way back to the car and back home.
====================================================
Back at class on Monday, Michelle asked, “What’s up? You don’t look very happy” when I arrived at Linear Algebra.
I sighed and blurted out “Oh, girlfriend problems.”
She put her hand on my arm and tried to sound reassuring with, “I’m sorry, I’m sure things will work out.”
I felt the warmth of her touch as I replied, “Yeah, I hope so.”
I began to wonder what I would be like without Hannah, but just the thought made me fight back tears. I looked around the room at Linda, Melanie and a couple of others, then recalled Michelle’s touch a few minutes before, and asked myself if I would be any better at relaxing and opening up around girls.
After class Dan came over and said, ‘Hey lover boy, snap out of it – want to play some air hockey?”
“Sure, it’ll feel good to kick someone’s ass.”
We skipped lunch and went straight to the game room. I tried valiantly, but Dan took two out of the three games.
====================================================
There were eight games left in the last seven days of the season. The Pirates were still a half game behind the Expos as the two teams were set to start a double header at six p.m. in Pittsburgh. KDKA moved their five o’clock new up to three-thirty and Roy Fox had his talk show rescheduled to four-thirty to five-thirty.
Right at four-thirty I was on the floor, leaning up against the wall on my parent’s room as my fingers feverishly dialed the eleven numbers required for a long distance call. It was always busy, busy, busy…until fifteen minutes in when I got a ring!
I told the producer I wanted to read a poem about the Pirates and was put in the queue. I listened to other callers in the handset of my phone for ten minutes before the volume picked up as I heard, “Go ahead caller, you’re on KDKA.”
I swallowed and tried to remain calm. “Hi Roy, I wanted to read these lyrics my friend wrote, to the tune of ‘The Devil Went Down to Georgia’.”
“Sure, go ahead.”
I took a deep breath and let ‘er rip –
Dick Williams went down to Pittsburgh,
he was looking for a pennant to steal.
He was in a bind, because he was way behind,
and he was willing to make a deal.
When he came across this young team,
Sitting on a lead and playing it hot.
And then Williams jumped up on the dugout step
And said Boys, let me tell you what
You probably didn’t know it
But we’re a pretty good team too
And if you care to take a dare
I’ll just make a bet with you
Now you play a pretty good baseball, boys
But give the Expos their due
I’ll bet a pennant of gold against your soul
That says we’re better than you –
The man said, My name’s Tanner
And it might be a sin
But I’m gonna take your bet, you’re gonna regret
Cause we’re the best there’s ever been
Cobra loosen up your bat and play that defense hard
‘Cause hell’s broke loose in Pittsburgh
and the Expos deal the cards…
It went on for another two verses before I could relax to the thanks from the radio host. Five minutes later Dan called to gush his congratulations.
The Expos scored a pair in the top of the first off Blyleven and rode their two nothing lead for six innings until Bill Robinson tied it with a two run homer – and then a walk, a steal and an error put the Bucs ahead for good., cruising to a five to two victory that put them back in first place.
Between games I ran down to the kitchen to dial up my aunt’s house. Hannah answered, and nervously I paused before asking, “Can we talk?”
“Not now.”
God, I thought, I didn’t want to sound pushy or desperate. I asked again, “How about Wednesday?”
“I don’t think so.” My heart was sinking before she continued, “Let’s go out on Friday, I want more time than just a half an hour.”
Given a reprieve, I replied, “Thanks, I’ll see you then. I love you.”
She responded with a monotone, “I love you too.”
The Pirates dropped the second game of the double header and were once again half of a game back, but then with only six to play.
Since school started, and with us going to different ones (even if they were across the street from each other), it wasn’t like we got to see each other all the time anyway – sometimes on a Wednesday or a Friday or a Sunday. Never the less, I imagined it would be a long week without her, even if things promised to look up at the end.
The Pirates helped by storming back to thrash the Expos ten-one and ten-four. Even with a loss to the Cardinals on Thursday, the Pirates still held a game lead heading into the final weekend, home to the Cubs.
====================================================
By the time I got to Hannah’s house on Friday, the Pirates had already chased Rick Reuschel again, sitting on a five-nothing lead in the fourth. It was with the same giddy optimism that I greeted her with at the door.
On the way to campus she turned down the game on the radio, looked to me and asked, “Do you mind if we don’t go to volleyball tonight? Maybe we can just hang out and catch a party?”
I gave her a half smile and a shrug, and said, “Yeah, sure, that’s fine.”
We were taking a leisurely stroll among the residence halls, hand in hand, when she asked, “Do you love me?”
I stopped and turned so I could say, “Yeah, of course I do!” straight to her face.
“Why do you love me?”
I thought, oh God, another of these touchy-feely sessions – but I did love her, and didn’t want to lose her, so I was able to state confidently, “I am happy when I make you happy. I’m sad when you are sad. I just want to please you, that’s what makes my heart warm.”
She stood her ground, with hands on hips as she continued, “And you’re not ashamed of me?”
“No! Why?” I pleaded.
“I mean, like, you’ll tell anyone that I’m your girlfriend.”
“Of course!”
“Even our parents?”
I just stammered, “Ohhh, yeah, well…”
I kept wanting to look away, avert her eyes, as she had the saddest look on her face. Finally she just said, “C’mon, let’s go get drunk.”
“I can’t take you home drunk.”
“Oh, whatever.”
Soon we spotted and joined a line outside the basement entrance to one of the fraternity lodges. I forked over the four dollars and Hannah claimed she left her student I.D. in her room. Once inside we both grabbed a cup of brew then proceeded to wind our way through the growing crowd.
We literally almost ran over Jason, a guy I played with over the summer, and quickly the two of us were chatting it up abut the Pirates. A minute or so into the conversation I felt a slap on my arm and looked over to see Hannah shrugging her shoulders. “Oh, I’m sorry – Jason, this is my girlfriend Hannah.”
She looked at Jason and said, “I’m glad he remembered.”
He extended his hand and replied, “Pleased to meet you – I think I saw you at some of the games this summer.”
Jason smiled at me when she added, “Yeah, I like baseball too!”
We met a few more people and I made it a point to stop and introduce Hannah right away, and to give her a chance to join the conversations. She held her own discussing sports and politics, but steered clear of commenting on her phantom campus life.
By the time I was on my third beer I definitely needed to piss. I told Hannah, “I have to take a leak, don’t go anywhere!”
It had to have been another ten minutes that I was waiting in line outside the door, at which point my bladder was ready to bust.
Once I was relieved I started working my way through the crowd to get back to Hannah. As I entered the main room in the basement I stopped in my tracks when I saw Hannah, about fifteen feet away, sitting on the arm of the couch, deep in conversation with some guy. She was gazing up into his eyes while he ran his fingers over her shoulder and upper arm.
I resumed my pace and in a few seconds came up from behind Hannah and took position beside her. Once she saw me, she said, “Hey Joe, this is Darren.”
I responded with a simple, gruff, “Hey” while I slid my hand onto Hannah’s far shoulder and played with her hair.
Darren look at me for a second then said, “Hey, well, nice to meet you” as he shuffled off.
Hannah turned to me and said, “Well that was rude.”
I didn’t want to attract attention but at the same time I was angry as I shot back, “The guy was trying to pick you up!”
Hannah stood, and with her hands held high in front of her face yelled, “So if you talk to a girl it’s nothing, but if I’m talking to a guy I must be ready to jump in his pants?”
The nearby conversations got quieter as people turned to look at us. As calmly as I could I asked her, “Can we take this outside, a little more private?”
I got a sarcastic “Yeah, whatever” in reply.
I led her through the basement door, and once we were a few feet from the building, near some bushes, I tried to emphasize, “It’s not you, it’s him I’m worried about.”
Hannah rolled her eyes before replying, “Well apparently after last week the rumor is that I’m the freshman girl who’s easy.”
“Yeah well, you’re not a freshman…”
She shouted, “And I’m not easy either! Would you quit being a dick! ”
I pleaded, “What? What did I do?” with my hands stretched out to my sides.
She continued very loudly, “Last week, when you didn’t think I was around, your eyes were all over that girl who apparently you see every week!”
I was struggling to maintain my composure as I came back with, “I told her I was taken, what, was I supposed to be an asshole and refuse to talk to her?”
Again she shouted, “There’s talking and there’s worshipping her tits!”
My frustration was rising as I snapped, “I can’t believe that’s still bothering you!”
“It’s only been a week and…” and then she broke down bawling into her hands. “I…I…damn it Joe! Why are we arguing like this?”
I held out my arms and pulled her to me. I whispered, “It’s O.K., it O.K.” as I felt the balls of her fists pounding my chest.
Much more softly, through her tears she sobbed, “No it’s not, I’m so scared.” She looked up at me and continued, “I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you – Then I see you with some girl, and she’s so pretty, and I imagine she wouldn’t bring you the same bullshit – she’s your age and she’s probably not even your cousin. You two could just go off somewhere and forget about me.”
I kissed the top of her head as I held it in my hands. “I can’t forget about you. I don’t want her, I want you.”
With her head in my chest she replied, “Well then you can start by apologizing.”
“For what?”
She grabbed my hair with both hands and holding my head steady stared up into my eyes. “Joe, just…just say you’re sorry and be happy I love you, O.K.?”
The tears were rolling down my cheeks in the chill air as I whispered in her ear, “Yes dear, I’m sorry.” I cupped the back of her head in my hand and kissed her on the forehead, and for several minutes we embraced each other tightly, wordlessly, slightly swaying back and forth.
