Scholarship Essay: “The day I came of age.” (CAW Entry.)

Anne and Martin Court self reliance scholarship.

Purpose of Scholarships
The Anne and Martin Court self reliance foundation promotes self reliance and independent thinking among the young men of America.

Scholarship Criteria
Our belief is that achieving a high grade point average should not be the only criteria for determining who deserves to be helped. For that reason we are offering a scholarship that will be awarded on the basis of character, as evaluated by the essays that are submitted.

Scholarships are intended for our future leaders across a wide spectrum of fields of study. This award is available to high school seniors and all students attending a post secondary educational facility.

You are not required to be taking any particular courses to be eligible.

How to Apply:

Students must submit an essay entitled “The day I came of age.”

Amount of award: $500.00
Deadline for entry: March 31, 1986

Submit essay to: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

There is no application packet for this award. Please do not include your resume at this time.
Be sure to include your full name as well as the name of the school you are attending this year and your plans for next year.

***

The Day I Came of Age. Anthony Burris, Lee High School. I plan on attending university this fall, I have not yet decided which.

… when I became a man, I set aside childish things. (1 Corinthians 13:11)

The day I came of age started well, the sun streaming in past the blinds woke me about ten. I waved my arm in the air, and a synthesized voice said “You have, no, messages.” No one on Polestar (a BBS) was wishing me happy birthday; oh well, I’m not sure I’d mentioned it so I couldn’t complain about the lack of birthday messages. Maybe when I got UUCP working.

Then the radio turned on: “another hot day in the Valley today, look for highs in the mid eighties.” Gotta love the Valley in early January. Gotta love projects that work, so I jumped out of bed and the radio went silent. Damn, I must have jigged something on the breadboard bumping about like that. I looked at the rat’s nest on the breadboard, decided not to debug it there and then so I just flipped the radio on manually.

I pulled on my robe and wandered out to the dining room, it was Sunday, Mom and Dad were out at church as usual. I’d opted out of church a few years before, after my crisis of faith. I’d now say I was agnostic, I was not a communicant. Mom and Dad had left a card for me, inside was a gift card to Tower (Records), score.

After showering I went out to the garage, ignoring Mom’s powder blue Topaz, I took my bike. On such a beautiful day, bike sounded better. As I was riding the 10 minutes to Jasmine’s house, I was thinking I what was going to happen. Her Mom and Dad should be out at church, so we’d have the house to ourselves. She’d normally be with them but was staying home especially for me and my birthday. She was sweet like that.

I was expecting more than sweet though, we’d talked long and hard about this, about sex. I’d just about persuaded her, and then she turned eighteen. From then it was out of the question. I can’t say I blame her, it’d be her on the hook for statutory rape. Still we’d discussed much. From my agnostic point of view it was an academic question. The morality she kept was mainly down to Paul and his letters to the Corinthians.

I’d read up on Paul, “know thy enemy” as a wise man said. There was plenty to argue about there, starting with what authority he really had down to the consistency of the application of his words. There are those who view Paul as a corrupter who hijacked Jesus’ words and substituted his own, I quite liked that one, you could go back to basics with “Love thy neighbor as thyself. There is no greater commandment than this.” She just blushed when I asked how she loved herself, implying I was the neighbor.

So she’d agreed that today was the day. She was inconsistent keeping to Paul’s creed already, no one could keep to everything he said and stay sane, so what’s one more article to worry about. I pedaled harder, I had something to pedal for. I got to her house, jumped off of the bike and rang the front door bell.

Jasmine opened the door, “Hey Tony.”

“Hey.”

“Happy birthday.” I stepped across the threshold and she kissed me on the cheek.

“Thanks, I scored a Tower card.” I flashed the gift card.

“Cool.”

“We should get to Tower, it’s on the way to Bob’s.” We’d be going to Bob’s Big Boy for lunch as usual, after the important business. (Bob’s is a burger chain in the Valley.)

I stepped up and held her, “But first, I’m eighteen now.”

“Yeah, congratulations.”

“I’m like, legal now.”

“Oh, yeah.” She was silent for a minute. “But … I can’t sin against my body.” Same old lame fucking argument.

“I thought we’d settled this!”, that was more a shout than conversation. “I’ve been waiting for months, like since your birthday, you’ve just been stringing me along!”

I let her go and glared at her; she just stood there, not meeting my gaze, “I’m so sorry Tony.”

I couldn’t take this. I shouted, “Fuck Paul! Fuck the Corinthians!” I felt like ripping up a fucking bible at that point. I ran out, slammed the door behind me and jumped on my bike. I pedaled for all I was worth. I was just going to go home, but the way home went past Bob’s. I’d just about calmed down, so I stopped. If Jasmine wasn’t going to help, I could at least enjoy lunch.

***

I was just chowing down on my burger when someone said, “Tony?” I looked up. It was this older lady, she looked familiar, but I couldn’t place her. The outfit should probably have been a clue, it looked like she was dressed for tennis, a racket in a cover was hanging off her shoulder.

“Yes?” I said uncertainly.

“Don’t you recognize me? I suppose it’s been a few years. Mrs. Williams from Outlook.”

Now I remembered, she was one of the gym teachers from my junior high. I’d played tennis against her in eighth grade a few times and boy did that get me hot. I jerked off to fantasies about her for months. The kids at Outlook had given her the nickname “Mrs. Cold”, she had a fearsome reputation. She was usually paired with Miss Notty, aka “Miss Hottie”, who all the boys had the hots for. Mrs. Williams became Mrs. Cold next to Miss Hottie. I wasn’t picky, I’d take either.

“Oh, hi Mrs. Williams, good to see you.” Not just being polite, I like looking at her legs in the short skirts she’d wear for tennis. Her legs might have been her best parts, but all over was good. At my age, just being female went a long way to making anyone hot to me. Being so old didn’t even put me off. I guessed she must be like, 35 by now.

“So, you’re on break from college?”

“Naw, I haven’t decided on a college yet. Like, I’m still a senior at Lee High.”

I guess the stress I was feeling about college as well as Jasmine showed through, even if I was trying to play it cool. She asked, “Do you want to talk about it? May I sit with you?”

“Sure, help yourself.” I didn’t think there was anything I could talk about I hadn’t already talked to the counselor about, but hey, she was still hot.

She sat down. “Wow, not even in college yet.”

“I’m not even …” I started to say I’m not even 18 yet, but then corrected myself. “I’m, like 18 today, I’ve applied, I’m like waiting for the decisions.”

“18 today? Why are you eating alone?”

“Me and my buds are going for a Zoo at Farrell’s later,” Farrell’s is a local ice cream parlor; the Zoo was totally awesome, they made a big fuss if you ordered it. “I was supposed to be here, like with my girlfriend. You should know her, Jasmine, daughter of Mr. Humphries, the Physics teacher, she’s in my AP calc class. But, like we had a fight.” I should probably have stopped there, but something made me carry on. Mrs. Williams was nodding, she knew Jasmine. “She won’t put out, she’s a Christian, like I couldn’t even get a blowjob for my 18th.”

There was silence, I regretted my big mouth, “Sorry Mrs. Williams, like I shouldn’t have said that.”

“You probably shouldn’t, but please call me ‘Diane’, I’m not your teacher anymore and you’re an adult now.”

“Ok, sorry Diane.”

My careless words forgotten, or at least put aside, she asked: “So what are you doing about college?”

“I may have to go to like, Berkeley.” She was surprised at my down tone saying that.

“That’s a good school. Most eighteen year olds can only dream of going to Berkeley.”

“But I always wanted to go to Caltech or Stanford. You know like Stanford has its own particle accelerator. That’s like totally cool, they were one of the first nodes on ARPANET, it’s just by Silicon Valley with all those cool companies. Caltech has JPL they run Voyager, that’s like beyond cool, that’s rad.” That just burst out of me in one breath. I have no idea how much of that she understood, but my enthusiasm impressed her. She smiled, God she was sexy when she smiled, she was sexy at any time.

“Why can’t you go to Caltech or Stanford? They’re good schools as well.”

“Caltech’s too close, that’s like half an hour from here. If I’m going away to college I want to be like, gone. I’d probably have to live at home if I went there, that’d be like totally lame. Stanford’s just too expensive, it’s like ten times as much as Berkeley. I don’t think Mom and Dad could afford it, they’ve said we can worry about it like, if I get accepted, but I know they can’t.” The words just spilled out of me, it was good to get the thoughts out that had been swirling in my head. “Not on like teachers salaries.” That she understood. I don’t know if she knew both Mom and Dad were teachers; they did quite well as teachers go, but it’s never going to make anyone rich, not Stanford rich.

“There’s scholarships aren’t there? Stanford must have scholarships.”

“Stanford has like some crap about “needs based financing”, but I don’t know and their admissions are crap anyway.” She looked taken aback by that opinion, so I expanded, “Anyone with a brain can get into Berkeley, at Stanford they worry about like stupid things like fucking ’extracurricular’, what’s that got to do with anything. it’s like, work. I mean I got all these offers from places like I’d never heard of when I took the PSAT, but Stanford’s not one of them. I mean like I aced the Math PSAT without breaking a sweat, but getting to Stanford … you have too … you can’t be lazy. I’m just too lazy. I’ve never like had to work at school, I just succeeded.” Again, just one breath, this crap was stressing me out big time, but it felt good to say that out loud.

“You always tried hard in PE, I noticed that. I liked that.”

“That’s different, I never was any good, I wasn’t a jock, but if I tried hard I could like, maybe get somewhere. In the rest of school I was like going to get an A, no matter how hard I tried, so I didn’t try, like what’s the point? About the only thing I do extracurricular is build computers in my bedroom. Like, I tried tennis, I wasn’t any good, I don’t do that much any more. And there’s surfing of course.” Well, everyone surfed so that wasn’t remarkable.

She giggled, that was puzzling. “Maybe you should have tried harder at tennis.”

“I tried as hard as I could.”

“But you never beat me.”

I didn’t remember the outcome of our games, just playing them and lusting after her. “I didn’t? I don’t remember.”

“I remember, you came close a couple of times, but never did. I was quite disappointed, I have a special reward for boys who beat me.”

What was she talking about? “What?”

“They got blowjobs, maybe more.”

I didn’t have an answer to that. We were quiet for a while. I decided one confession deserved another. “You never told me that, I’d have tried like even harder, you know how many times I beat off thinking about you in those rad little skirts.”

“No I don’t, but I can imagine, and that’s very flattering. I couldn’t tell you, I couldn’t advertise that sort of thing, but I always hoped you’d get the reward.” I had no answer to that either. She gave up waiting for a response, “You still could.”

“What?”

“Get the reward. It looks like you’re dressed for tennis.” I was wearing the usual sort of thing, t-shirt, shorts and sneakers, it’d work for tennis.

“OK.”

“The courts at Outlook should be free. I have a spare racket with me. I’ll drive.” There wouldn’t be many people there at that time of day.

“It’s only, like, five blocks. I could ride my bike and meet you there.”

I kinda lost my appetite after that, I just wanted to get to the tennis courts.

***

So after lunch, we met at the court. The rules were decided as one set, with a tiebreaker if necessary. We spun the racket, I won, I’d serve. I was a little rusty, I hadn’t played much in the last few months; must have lost my motivation for some reason or just too fucking busy with worrying about college. If I was going to win this I was going to have to use strength, Mrs. Cold, Diane, was a better player than I was, but I was stronger than her. I was stronger than her three years ago and the games were close. I was stronger now than three years ago, maybe I could win this. I was really motivated.

I smashed the serve and it sailed past Diane, she couldn’t touch it. “Out.” Yeah, I kind of noticed it was to the right of the line. I was a pussy for my second serve, Diane returned it perfectly down the sideline I had no hope of getting that. While not otherwise distracted by losing the game, I thought she was looking pretty bouncy on top. She wasn’t exactly big up there, but what she did have was pretty distracting. I lost the game to fifteen, and not just because of the bounce.

We changed ends and Diane bent over to retrieve a ball. This was one part of tennis I liked, you could usually get a good view of the opponent’s butt in their short skirts (if they’re a girl). Of course girls wore panties which were meant to be seen, so you never actually saw anything. Except this time, Diane was not wearing any panties. I had wood instantly. Diane smiled at me and served, I was so distracted it went by and I hardly moved. The rest of the game didn’t go much better, I hardly touched a ball, I kept thinking I was was seeing glimpses of what was under there. I lost to love, sixty-love is how it used to be called, more like sexty-love; she wasn’t playing fair. You’d think she didn’t want to give me a reward. It was 2-0 in games.

My serve again. I tried to pull myself together. I considered if I should think about what Diane was offering, or if I should try putting it out of my mind. Not thinking about it was a total non starter, so I tried to use it as inspiration. I put an ace right down the center line, she couldn’t get a racket to it, it felt great. I smiled. I looked up and Diane was grinning broadly as well. Three aces later it was now 2-1. If I could keep the serve up, I had a hope, but I still needed a break game to draw level.

I managed to return most of her services in the next game, but her responses were deadly. Serve; return; back and done. Sexty-love again. 3-1. The next few games went to serve, at least I managed to get a few more balls. I managed a few rallies with more than one touch of the ball. I even managed to score a few points against her serve, but still it was now 6-5.

It was make or break now, actually break or break. If I didn’t break serve, that was it, I’d lose the match, I’d lose my chance at Diane. She jumped up to serve, her skirt blew up to reveal everything. I froze and the ball whizzed by my motionless body. Diane laughed and smoothed her skirt down some, that really didn’t help. Focus, I needed to focus if I was going to get this. She served again, I ran for the sideline and just managed to get the racket to it. “Thuck”, I hit wood, fuck. I looked up to see the ball sail high down the sideline and plop down on the intersection with the baseline. Diane had stopped when she heard the “thuck”, but then watched in amazement as it turned into a perfect return; she ran for it but got nowhere near it. “Lucky.” Diane called out. Fuck yes, that was lucky, but I’ll take it. 15-all.

She took her place for the next serve, and wiggled, she really wasn’t playing fair. I tried not to let it distract me, but increase my focus and determination, that could be mine. Her serve was short, I rushed up to return it to the opposite corner and stayed up at the net. She got to the ball and tried a lob, not high enough, I reached up to my full height and smashed to the opposite court. Diane didn’t even try to get that, she just looked at it hopelessly. 15-30. I punched the air in celebration, Diane flipped up her top to reveal some unrestrained jugs. That’s why she was looking bouncy, no bra, I was sure she’d been wearing one at lunch. That got my attention. I focused on that as I walked back to the baseline, that will be mine. I was thinking positively.

Diane’s serve was good, but I didn’t have far to reach for it. I tried to get clever and return it to the opposite court, and for once it worked. Diane was caught completely flat footed expecting a return down he sideline. 15-40. I smiled and licked my lips. Diane was smiling from ear to ear.

Diane tried for an ace on her next serve; it was a good shot but I was ready for it and sent it back up the sideline past Diane as she rushed the net. She could only look on as it sailed by. Game. 6-6. Now it was the tiebreak, and I was serving first, I had the momentum. I aced my serve. 1-0. Another great return, 2-0. Her next serve was almost an ace, but I got a racket to it, my return sailed wide. 2-1. Two aces. 4-1. If could just keep my serve I could win this. We shared one each of her serves, 5-2.

Now I just needed to keep two serves and I’d win. An ace 6-2, just one more needed. She tried flipping up her top again, so I served while she was busy with that, it sailed by her. She exclaimed “Ooh! You!” and burst out laughing. I made to celebrate but my legs felt leaden, I was dizzy, I thought I’d better sit down. Then lying down was, like, a better idea. I lay there, waiting for the world to stop spinning around me. I heard a shout of “Tony!” from far off and soon enough Diane was standing over me. “Tony, Tony! Are you alright?”

The view from my position was great, it focused my mind enough to reply. “I think so, I felt dizzy there. The view from here is totally tubular, your bod’s rad.”

“You must be dehydrated, look how you’re sweating.” I was totally soaked, but I hadn’t noticed, I’d been focusing so much on the game. It was kinda warm, the weather forecast had been right. Of course it was sunny so the sun had been beating down on us all that time, that always makes things much hotter. “Come to my place, I’ll get you some water.”

Water would be good. “I was hoping for something else.”

“We can do that after we get you hydrated. Can you stand? I live just across the street.”

***

She helped me up and across the street to her house behind the strip mall. “You rest here, I’ll get the water.” She pointed to the sofa, “But first …” She threw a towel over the sofa, then grabbed my shorts and pulled them and my undershorts down. Then she grabbed my sodden shirt and pulled it over my head. I plopped down on the towel, I was pretty exhausted, but I was also hard, anticipating what was coming next.

Diane disappeared and then reappeared topless. I hardly noticed she was also holding a glass and a bottle. “Tony? … Tony!”

Whoops, busted. “Sorry.”

“Drink this, I also got some Gatorade, that’ll probably help.” I reached for the glass, but was still very distracted by her jugs. She put the Gatorade down and juggled her jugs. “Do you like them? I always thought they were small.”

“Righteous.” Was about all I could say. I like big jugs, who doesn’t, but I’d never seen any real ones before. They’re so much better in reality than in a porno mag, even if they weren’t totally big.

“Drink.” As I was drinking, she knelt in front of me and undid my sneakers and pulled off the shorts which were stuck there. The she sat down beside me, wiped a finger over my pecs and licked her finger. “Mmm, I love boy sweat.” That was kind of gnarly. “Have you ever had your schlong sucked?”

I shook my head, “Uh-uhn.” I looked away embarrassed, “I’m a virgin at eighteen, like how lame is that. I’ve never even seen any jugs for real before.”

“Well, you’re not going to see any now, if you don’t look at them.” I looked back at her, they really were totally righteous. “Finish your drinks and you can do more than look.” I hurried to finish the drinks.

“Feel them.” I felt them, oh my freaking God, I had my hands on real jugs. Man, how I didn’t come there and then I have no idea. “Lick them, suck them.” I did as she asked, she was a little salty, but I didn’t mind. Must be the sweat. God I was in heaven, this might persuade me God existed. Diane was enjoying this, she lay back on the sofa and sighed.

I felt her up, licked and sucked, but then she pushed me off and back on the sofa. “Aw!”

“Don’t worry, you’ll enjoy this even more.” I liked the sound of that. She licked my pecs, that was weird. “Mmm.” She licked further down, she got past my navel, then went for my “schlong”, as she called it, I liked that name. Getting sucked felt like nothing I’d ever imagined, a warm velvety cover encompassed me. Wow there was a God!

It was too much, in no time, “Nnngh!” I came, my hips jerked, and I pumped my cum into her mouth. Then I moaned and flopped back on the towel totally spent.

She tousled my hair as I lay there. Just messing it up more, it was already matted with sweat, it’d usually hang down to my shoulders (and was blond of course). “Mmm, I love boy cum. You seemed to enjoy that.”

“No Duh! That was totally amazing.”

She let me recover for a while. “So you’ve never had a girl before?”

“Like never. I’d like to have one again though.” I was wondering what “maybe more” meant, and hoped I’d get some. “If they’re all like, as good as you, I know what the fuss is about.” Flattery was supposed to go down well with the chicks, but it’s not flattery, if it’s true.

“Aw, sweet. It’ll take you a while before you can go again.”

“I can come again in about ten minutes.” Not a boast, I had managed to come again in ten minutes before now, with Diane’s help I was sure it’d be sooner.

“God, I love the resilience of boys. Is there anything you’d like to do? I mean to me.”

She’s asking me what sex position I like, I didn’t know, however I’d had plenty of fantasies. “I’ve wondered what it’s like to go down on a girl. And fuck of course, how lame is an eighteen year old virgin?”

She smiled that great smile at me, “With an attitude like that you’ll go far. If you can learn to eat pussy well, you’ll have the girls lining up to fuck you.”

That sounded like BS, “How do I even offer if I can never talk to them?”

“How did Jasmine become your girlfriend? You must have talked to her.”

“That’s different, I talk to her like, in class, she was like, having trouble with substitution in integrals, I helped her out.”

“So you thought a bit help of help with math was worth a blowjob?”

“No, that was ages ago, we’ve been going steady for months since then.”

“Maybe if you offered to go down on her, you might have more luck.”

That made a lot of sense, except, “I don’t know how. Like, I mean I know what’s there, in theory, but like what I do when I get there?”

“I’ll show you.” With that she flipped up her skirt. She was still wearing the skirt, nothing else. “Do you like the skirt?”

“You weren’t like, playing fair with that skirt.” She giggled, “It’s totally distracting, like I was trying to see what’s under there. It was bad enough like, when you used to wear panties.”

She smiled again, “Just like the cheerleaders huh? I bet you want to fuck ’em all.”

“Eh, they’ve got bodacious bods, but they’re like all airheads, like they’re ever going to talk to a nerd like me.”

She smiled her smile yet again, “So …” Pointing to her box under the skirt. I knelt in front of her and marveled at the wonders revealed before me. I’d imagined this so many times while jacking off. If you’re not a horny teenager, there’s not a lot to see. Some hair, a vague crevice. I was a horny teenager though, so this was Aladdin’s cave. She opened her legs more, the crevice opened revealing its hidden treasures. “You see this?” She pointed to her labia majora.

Anatomy wasn’t sexy, unless you’re a horny teenager, reading your dad’s anatomy book, so I asked, “Your pussy lips?”

“Lick them.” Then she added, “Gently!”

I was thinking she was kind of grody down there, she hadn’t showered, I hadn’t showered and she tasted me, she was kinda weird like that. If I was going to go down on her, on any girl, it was now, so I didn’t let that bother me. I took a tentative lick. She was well lubricated, wet. It didn’t really taste of much, but I liked the feeling. “Yes there. You can be a little harder.” I licked harder, this was definitely good, better than I’d imagined, I got wood just from that.

She let me just do that for a while, she was enjoying it, she sighed and moaned and twitched. “Now …” she was kinda breathless, “you see that.” She pointed to her clitoral hood, which mostly covered her clitoris.

“Like, your clit?”

“Lick around there, gently. Be careful, it can be really sensitive.”

I licked around the hood, there was gasp, I tried being softer, “No that was good, harder.” I licked around the hood some more, this was fun and it was really turning me on. My schlong was stiffer than it ever was before. I was almost afraid I was going to pop again. Diane was really into this, she was going wild with the moans and the hips. I wondered what happened if I licked the clitoris directly, so I tried that and all hell broke loose. Her hips shot up, she almost threw me off, her gasps and moans were like she was drowning. I wasn’t sure if this was good or bad, but she wasn’t stopping me so I held on and licked more, then she fell still and silent.

I looked up at her still form. “Mrs. Williams? Diane!” I grabbed a wrist, she had a pulse, that was a good sign. I climbed back on the sofa, I remembered my first aid training, check for respiration. I put my cheek next to her mouth and looked at her chest to see if it were moving. I felt her breath on my cheek, that’s a good sign, what’s next? Then she kissed me, on the cheek. I looked around startled, “You’re alright?”

She grabbed the back of my head, and pulled me to her. She kissed me, her tongue probed my mouth, that was a new one on me, I’d only had the closed mouth kind of kiss before. I did like it though. I tried doing the same back to her, I kinda liked that.

She broke the kiss, she lay there almost naked and glorious and sweaty. “Fuck, where did you learn to do that?”

“From you, like where else?”

“That line of girls is going to be a mile long. You really never done this before?”

“No, never.” She was doing wonders for my confidence. “Like, was I any good?”

“The best, you’re going to have to do that again.”

I could do that that, I wanted to do that a lot more. “OK. Cool.” I started to climb down off the sofa.

“Whoa there cowboy.” I stopped, confused. I looked at her. “Not just yet, I’m not ready. In a little while maybe.”

“So what do I do? Like, what do you want me to do?”

“Oh, you’re good at this, remember do what the girl wants and you’ll get some. A hug is good right about now.” That sounded good, so I hugged her. I also felt her up, her jugs and her butt, I guess that was the right thing to do.

***

I was lost somewhere, hugging and feeling her, when suddenly, “You wanna fuck me now?”

“Yeah! totally!” I was startled at the question, but answered eagerly. She smiled at my enthusiasm. I was obviously ready for this, I was still hard from going down on her.

“You’re gonna have to earn it.”

“Like how?” I was puzzled, what did she want?

“You’re gonna have to force me.”

“What?” I still wasn’t catching on.

“I’m going to shower, if you can stop me and get it up me, I’m yours. If I get to the shower, you’ve lost.”

I still wasn’t getting it, she was kinky beyond my experience. With some more years experience, I’d know she got turned on by being physically overwhelmed, but I had all of half an hour of experience. I sat there bewildered, she started to get up. She made like it was difficult for her. I saw my best chance of a fuck about to evaporate.

I grabbed her shoulder and pulled her back down onto the sofa. “Like this?” I jumped on top of her. That smile again told me that was the right thing to do. She tried to push me off, I easily caught her wrists and pushed her arms out of the way. Diane was a small woman, she was athletic and well toned, but slight. On the other hand I’m a big dude. A bit over six foot and chunky. Swimming and surfing builds upper body strength, so it was no contest, there was no way she could stop me.

I got off her, grabbed her under her knees and pulled so her butt was hanging off the sofa. I grabbed her wrists again and held her arms over her head, then forced her legs apart with my knee. My schlong slipped into her box, that was beginners luck but it worked for me, Diane stopped struggling and started helping. I needed that, I was stunned by the sensations coming from down there. This was nothing like jacking off.

Now what? For a while I had no idea what I was supposed to do now. I was totally lame, I didn’t even know what to do when I got my schlong in a girl’s box. Diane showed me what to do, she grabbed my hips and pulled and pushed while she thrust her hips. OK, I caught on, but I mean, like how do you not know that. But once I did, it was like, WOW, total overload.

I thrust into Diane, she enjoyed that, her moans accompanied my grunts. More thrusts, more moans, now screams, then boom. She came, she spasmed, her box grabbed my schlong, her passion pushed me over the edge and I came, I pumped my cum into her box. Then I collapsed on top of her, again totally spent.

“You know, if you carry on like this, you’re going to turn me on again.” That muffled comment came from below me. I realized I was laying my full weight on top of Diane.

Startled, I made to get off her, then stopped. “Do you want me to get off of you? I could just lie here and like pin you down all afternoon.” I think I caught on to Diane’s kink quickly, I was proud of myself. She sighed, happy.

I lay still for a time, just enjoying feeling her all over again. She piped up, “I like it down here, but it’s hard to talk.” I shifted to let Diane up, one of her fingernails scratched my butt. I reflexively caught her wrist to stop it, she looked startled at that, but also pleased. Her smile made me wonder so I bent her arm up behind her back in a hammerlock.

She gasped in pain, I thought I’d gone too far so I relaxed the hold and was just about to apologize when she said, “No, I liked that.” She really was kinky. It just seemed kinda weird to me, but if that’s what she liked, and it’d get me some, so I did it again. Then I picked her up bodily and dropped her so she was laying across the sofa. I should have slammed her down, she’d have liked that, but I was too much of a pussy to do that back then. I put her arm back in the lock and lay on top where we could talk.

“I like this, but you know you should never do this unless the girl asks you to.”

She’d lost me there, “Do what?”

“Don’t rough a girl up like this.”

“Like, why would I?”

“Some boys like roughing up girls. That’s no bueno if the girl doesn’t want it.”

That was weird, but I supposed if she liked me getting rough, there must be boys who like getting rough. “I don’t. I just wanted to like, fuck you, and like, I might get more if I do this to you.”

“You’re really going far with an attitude like that.” I thought on that, then she asked. “So what are you going to do to me?”

“I don’t know, like what do you want me to do.” She laughed, I had no idea what I’d said which was funny. “Like, what’s so funny?”

“You’re so sweet. I’m helpless and willing and you ask me what to do.” She laughed again. I blushed and looked away, I’d failed. I let her go, feeling miserable. She sounded concerned. “Don’t do that, don’t be sad.”

“But I failed, like you laughed at me.”

“No, no. I’m not laughing at you. I’m laughing at us. Did roughing me up really not do anything for you?”

“No.” I wasn’t in the mood for explanations.

“But you still did it. You didn’t mind doing that did you?”

“I wouldn’t have, like if you hadn’t asked. You enjoyed it, rad. I didn’t mind once I grokked that. It got both of us off”

“Very logical. Dr. Spock would be proud of you.” I wasn’t sure if she was mocking me or what. “We can do it your way.” That sounded promising though. “Hold me.” OK that was easy at least. I scooped her up in my arms and held her. She sighed. That was a good sign. “You make me feel all warm and safe.”

We were silent for a while. I was starting to wonder about something more when she said, “You should never tell anyone about us.” I wasn’t going to tell anyone, my friends wouldn’t believe me. And they’d think it was gross, having such an old woman. Jasmine really wouldn’t understand. “It wouldn’t be good for me, and a gentleman never tells.”

First she misquotes some hokey movie and then saying “gentleman”? Sounding like PBS. She was kinda weird. “I’m not telling anyone.”

“That’s good, you’ll get more encores if you don’t go blabbing about a girl.” That made sense.

More silence. “I’ll tell you what, if Stanford accepts you I’ll let you have an encore, if you make it work.” That might just inspire me to make an effort. “Or if Stanford rejects you and you have to go to Berkeley, I’ll also let you have an encore.”

“Going to Berkeley is going to be like, tubular then.”

“You could still make Stanford work, don’t give up on it.”

Later. “You know what else you can do to ensure an encore, or make the line of girls at your door even longer?”

“What?”

“Go down on me again.”

That didn’t seem like anything special, it wasn’t even unpleasant, I didn’t know why that’d help with the encores. “OK.”

I might have sounded too casual, “Remember, you just came in me.”

“Like, not something I’ll forget, that.” I wasn’t connecting the dots here, I moved down to lick her again. She opened her legs. Then I got it. “But I just came in you.” More precisely, my cum was still in her.

“You said you hadn’t forgotten.” She was even more grody than before, but she wanted it, so I was going to do it. It wasn’t too bad actually, tasted slightly more acidic, but she really got off on it. She was moaning and writhing all over the place. I tried the same as before and she exploded even stronger. This time I wasn’t worried about her limp silence, I just held her once she was done. She’d like that.

“Mmm. This is nice.” What did I say, she liked it. We lay like that in silence until she asked, “What do you want me to do with that?” She nodded down at my schlong, wooden again and bumping her.

I didn’t have an opinion on that, except I wanted to get off; maybe she had some interesting, and kinky, way in mind. “Errr, I, err, do you have any like, rad ideas?”

“Hmm, good question. I don’t think I’m ready for another pounding like you gave me earlier, so not a fuck.” I’m sure I looked totally disappointed at that. “Sorry. We could try anal.” That sounded even more grody that going down on my own cum, I was just about to agree to that, but she saw my reaction, “Maybe not for your first time. There’s always a good blowjob, I hardly got to enjoy you before you came the first time.”

A blowjob sounded fantastic, but she seemed disappointed in me, “Sorry.” I blushed again.

“No, no, you did fine, I kind of expect that for a first time, it’s very flattering and you so obviously enjoyed it. You just lie there.” With that she turned around so her butt was sticking at me, I was just about to feel it when, WOW! All thoughts of anything except my schlong vanished. She was sucking on me again. I’d have come there and then if I hadn’t already come, twice.

I stopped worrying about anything and everything. I lay there as she worked away on my schlong, the feeling was incredible, I just luxuriated in it. This was going to convince me there was a God, heaven wasn’t going to be better than this. It didn’t last an eternity though, eventually I came.

Next thing I knew, she was smiling her amazing smile at me, propped up on her elbows, pleased with herself. “I won’t ask if you enjoyed that, I know you did.”

“Uh-uh.” Yup, I did.

Back to the holding, that was nice. I held her, I still wasn’t worrying, I could get used to this. But then, I noticed the clock. “Fuck, I gotta go soon. I gotta get to Farrell’s. Like, I’d rather stay here.” I’d also have to stop home and shower.

“You should be going then.” She didn’t sound convinced. I held her tighter. “Really, you should be going. But if Jasmine doesn’t work out for you, give me a call.” Now I really didn’t want to go.

***

I did leave, Diane persuaded me. As I was riding home I was thinking on what just happened. Between smiles, I realized I was now a man. I’d come of age, not just because I was eighteen, I also felt … different. Obviously I’d had Diane, but I just felt more confident. I could do anything.

I got home, flipped on the radio (manually), and went to shower. I wasn’t listening much, it was the usual lame chatter. “Now, up to number ten this week …” I was just about to turn on the shower when:

“Here comes Tony singing I gotta woman.” Hell yeah, I gotta woman, I cracked up. I just about calmed down when:

“Here come Tony with the power and the glory.” Heh, it’s like God trying to tell me something. Another laugh.

“He got the action, he got the motion, Oh yeah, the boy can play.” Yes, yes I can. Even after I worked out what the lyrics really were that was my theme song for a while.

So I’m getting out of the shower, the radio still playing, I hear: “I know tonight, tonight, she comes.” Again I laughed, that was a good omen, God really was trying to tell me something.

I grabbed the keys for the Topaz and drove to Farrell’s. Everyone was there, Mike, other Tony and John, my best buds, aka the three stooges. But best of all, she did come, Jasmine was there. She was uncertain how I’d react, I just used my new found confidence and swept her up in my arms, she was dangling off the floor. She’s bigger than Diane, but I still tower over her. I could pick her up no problem. I kissed her, passionately. I didn’t use tongues, not yet. The three stooges cheered. I set her down, whispering in her ear, “We need to talk.” She was flustered but happy after that.

We ordered the Zoo. The staff made the usual fuss, sirens, ringing bells, yelling and running around. I’m sure the houses across the road got tired of all that. The two guys carrying it out made like they could hardly lift it and sagged under the weight. The Zoo is like four scoops each, twenty total for the five of us, and a bunch of toppings. It’s fun. At first it seemed incongruous, as a man I thought maybe, I should put away childish things as it were. But then, I can have fun on my own terms, whether it’s a Zoo, or a woman. I was my own man, I was a man.

Me and Jasmine kept to ourselves a lot while working on the Zoo. For once the Stooges picked up on this and let us alone for the most part. I said, “I’m surprised you came, eating with the immoral.” Two can play at quoting Paul.

“You don’t claim to be a brother, with unbelievers you eat what is put before you.” Touché, Paul makes a distinction there between the immoral and the unbelievers. But that makes me the lost lamb to brought back to the fold so heaven can rejoice. I didn’t like the life expectancy of a lamb in the bible.

At some point she quoted Paul again, “Love is patient, love is kind, love is not self seeking.” Busted. Paul did say some things which made sense, maybe if I just let her be, she’d come round.

After we all demolished the Zoo, the three stooges showed even more unusual perception and left me and Jasmine to ourselves. Jasmine called her folks, from the payphone, to tell them she didn’t need a lift home. I had Jasmine to myself for the evening and I had the car, so what did we do? We saw a movie. Part of my idea to let her come around, no pressure. I also didn’t think I could get it up again after Diane so I was avoiding the possibility of needing to.

‘Brazil’ was playing still. “It’s by the Monty Python dudes, it should be totally good.” Just goes to show we didn’t know what the movie was about. Instead of a light hearted and happy couple of hours, we got depressing and dark. It’s a great movie, but don’t take your girlfriend to see it.

After the movie, Jasmine looked at her watch, “It’s getting late, I better get home.” I drove her the five minutes to her place. When we got there the house was dark, so I walked her to the front door. “Mom and dad said they’d be out for a while, they should be back …” she looked at her watch again, “in like half an hour. Do you want to come in and like talk?”

Of course I did, but I wasn’t sure about talking. As she pushed the door closed behind us, I again scooped her up in my arms, again I kissed her, this time I tried the tongues. After a brief bit of probing her closed lips, she opened her mouth, my tongue was in her mouth. Again there was a short time before she caught on and her tongue came back at me. I was digging this.

When we finally broke the kiss she was definitely excited. She was flushed and breathing heavily. “We should talk in my room.” I’d been in her room many times, her folks considered me safe. Not only had I been one of her dad’s star students, I helped her out with her work. If they knew what I was really after I’m sure I wouldn’t be welcome.

In her room we didn’t talk much, just kissed. She was getting really turned on, I could see all the signs. I tried for a button on her top. “Whatcha doing?”

I didn’t answer directly, that’d give her something to say ‘no’ to. “You know, a woman’s body is like God greatest creation, totally rad, you shouldn’t hide it.” She didn’t have an answer to that, I continued with the buttons and the kissing. Her pale skin came into view, I could almost believe my own line. She was magnificent, I started to get wood, that was a surprise. I tried for the bra, and yet more luck, beginners or otherwise, it came undone without a struggle. I got the bra and top off, she was naked to the waist.

Jugs! My second pair in one day. Hers were a bit bigger than Diane’s and perfectly shaped to fit in my hand. They were perfect. This was like, the best birthday ever. Before Jasmine could gather her thoughts and object, I tried what Diane taught me. I licked and sucked on them. Jasmine liked that, she moaned, then moaned a lot more. I lay her back on the bed, I continued on with the jugs, alternating between kissing them and kissing her lips. She was obviously getting totally worked up. She was confused, but hadn’t managed to gather her thoughts yet, she was turned on.

I kissed her yet again, “Why don’t I like, kiss you goodnight and put you to bed.” She sighed, I’m not sure what that was for, whether she thought it a good or bad thing I was going to leave her alone. I didn’t say where I was going to kiss her though. I flipped her skirt up out of the way, not nearly as easily as Diane’s abbreviated skirt, and yanked her panties down.

“What …”

She didn’t get to finish that thought, I dived onto her box and licked. She was totally turned on, lots of lubrication, wet, her labia were full and open and her clitoris was poking out distended. I recognized the signs from dad’s book. She went mad with the moans and writhing, when I went for the clit she exploded almost as strongly as Diane had. Thank God (if there is one) her parents weren’t home.

I quickly finished undressing her, skirt and panties and put all her clothes in a neat pile on her chair, then held her as she came to her senses. A flicker of sense showed itself, I said, “I should be going.” I got up and tucked her in and kissed her on the forehead. “Love is patient, love is kind, love is not self seeking.” I should totally have had my fingers crossed using that line. Then I left. Yup, tonight she came.

When I got home Mom and Dad were back home, I stopped off in the bathroom to wash my face. I’m sure I smelled of sex. I didn’t spend long with them and the happy birthdays, I had to get to bed, it was school the next day. I left the rat’s nest undebugged, still no messages. I slept well that night.

It was a good day the day I came of age.

***

That’s not the essay I submitted, fuck no, though I was tempted. I wrote that just for practice. I just came across it as I was clearing out some old WordStar disks I found in my old bedroom. My folks are moving to Phoenix now. I’ve edited it so I don’t sound quite so clueless and I took out the footnotes, just distracting. That essay did bring out a lot of good stuff though.

I was accepted by Stanford and their financial aid was better than expected, but it was still expensive. Inspired by Diane’s offer, I filled the gap with these scholarships. Who knew there were people out there who’d give you money for just writing an essay? After a while the scholarships just merge together, you start to think about bending your best effort to fit the subject. Try some of these, how would the above essay go down in response to:

“When you look back on your life in 30 years, what would it take for you to consider your life successful? What relationships or accomplishments will be important on this journey?” That could work, it’d need a bit more of a tail.

“What influenced you to pursue a college education and how will this scholarship help you achieve those goals?” That’s only a few sentences, maybe I could expand on that.

“Describe your motivation and/or decision to pursue an engineering or science degree in your chosen area. What do you hope to do with your degree once you’ve completed your schooling?” Gotta write more about the electronics.

“Describe how you demonstrate your passion for technology outside the classroom.” Perfect, oh wait, passion “for technology”, again, more about the electronics.

“In your opinion, what are the three most important scientific concepts underlying the study of gemology?” Naw, maybe if I proposed and included a ring.

“Describe the three characteristics of leadership you value most. Discuss why you believe that these traits are so important and how you feel that are developed in an individual. ” That’s got potential.

Some were just nebulous: “We take an expansive view of “religion,” and welcome work from all disciplines and on a broad variety of topics within the rubrics of religion, culture, and public life.” I got lots of religion in that essay.

I didn’t collect from Diane immediately though, I couldn’t cheat on Jasmine, I had something to cheat on now.

***

To tie up the lose ends:

The next day Jasmine was confused. Equal parts pissed and horny. Also she was not sure why she was pissed, for doing that, or for leaving then. I talked her down enough to eventually let me “kiss her goodnight” again. That became a regular thing, preferably when her folks weren’t home. I never asked for anything in return, I did a lot of jerking off at home thinking about it, so no change there. After a few days she felt so guilty she offered to blow me. I accepted of course. Life was good. Still no fucking, unless I married her. That was itself another contradiction, Paul urges us not to marry. At least Paul would let her marry an unbeliever. Anyway, now I’d fucked once I could live without it.

I spent some of the gift card on a couple of albums. The Dire Straights, “Brothers in Arms”, that had “Walk of Life”. The name in it is “Johnny”, not “Tony” though. Also The Cars “Greatest Hits”, it had “Tonight She Comes”. Both on vinyl of course.

I debugged the rat’s nest, I burnt it to a PCB and it was much more reliable. I did get UUCP working, I had an email address in 1986! You could reach me at !csvax.caltech.edu!tonyb!tony or [email protected] There was already a UUCP host “tony”, so I took tonyb. Still not many birthday wishes via email back then.

Jasmine was accepted to UCLA, she didn’t want to leave home so far behind. We had all summer to think about our relationship, we decided to split. We liked each other, and the sex was good, but we agreed that long term we weren’t destined to be together. On our ceremonial last evening together, she confessed she was going to give me a blowjob after the movie on my birthday, but I never gave her a chance. She’d given in, and I’d stopped asking. That was part of what she was so confused and pissed about.

I collected on Diane’s offer before I took off for Stanford.

Stanford was great, I was just average, I wasn’t exceptional there. After spending so long standing out in high school, it was cool to be just another guy. Some at Stanford had difficulty adjusting to this new reality, they were too used to being “the” guy. No longer the big fish in their little pond, they were just a little fish in the big pond of Stanford. I did try to drop my surfer dude speech, I got ribbed too much about that. Also I tried to drop all the “likes” in every sentence.

Also totally cool about Stanford was that the cheerleaders have brains as well as short red skirts. You gotta love a place where the football team is named after a color, the mascot is a tree (not even that color), and the cheerleaders are called “Dollies” and perform interpretive dance.

I managed to snag one of the Dollies, a black chick called Aimee from Alabama. She was a math wiz, she’d been in the US team at a math olympiad. She was never going to ask me for help with math, so I asked her. I had an EM problem where a surface integral over a vector field turned into particularly gnarly partial differential. Once you can start talking, the rest is easy, she though my surfer dude was cool, and man her accent is so sexy.

I just can’t help thinking I owe all this to Diane helping me come of age.

PS: Aimee says the Dollies aren’t cheerleaders, I know that, but I call her one to get a rise out of her. Like calling Jasmine a “Valley Girl”.

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