The process of taking someone through the 12 steps
Introduction:
How to get sober and stay sober.
People will approach you to take the through the big book and when they do approach you ask them:
1 do you want what I have?
2 what are you willing to do to get it?
3. Have the person read the first 164 pages of the big book and after for them to call you
Read it, just read it
Don’t bug them, do not ask them where they are in there reading.
Humbling him or her is the key
What is working for them is not working for them anymore or they would not be coming to see you…
Let them come to you… very important…
When they call you… you set up the date, time and place that is convenient for you
He says he can not do it on Tuesday
-what did you lie to me…
-you told me that you are willing to go to any length
-you do not want to make it inconvenant for him… you do not want him to loose his job
-Is he willing to do anything…?
*your convenience, always*
-You do this one on one – face to face
He must understand that your and his most valued asset is your or his time…
-have him come to you; you do not come to him…
Try your best to be alone…
Let us get started
Bring out the big book of alcoholics annonomous
that the program of alcoholic anonymous is outlined in the first 164 pages of the big book
Have the person you are working with agree to it… this is very important
have a dictionary
text book
alcoholic
alcoholism
alcohol
drug
sponsor
Point out that drugs are not the same as alcohol
9 A little AA history
There are two types of AA’s
1 bill w New York AA – fear in fellowship.
2 dr. bob Ackron Ohio as – fait and trust
Clarence snider had the first aa meeting in Cleveland Ohio
Go right to the title page and have them read aloud
Look up recovered and ask them the meaning
To restore to a normal state
* The older the dictionary the better
We talking keep your conversation in the past the first 9 steps
you are only dealing with the time he first came into AA back
Look up the word precisely and any other word you think should be looking up
Unmanageability and powerlessness in regard to there drinking point this out over and over as we read
*** MUST BLOW ALL THE THEY Says out of the water
***after there is one thing I will want you to do, for you to care to another recovering alcoholic in the same way/ process that I showed you…
When talking share your experience and how you are staying and living sober
Our way is not the only way but it is the way that worked
The title page
The story of how many thousands of men and women have recovered from alcoholism
Preface
Read it and refer back to your definition of the word basic text
Because this book has become the basic text of our Society and has helped suck large numbers of alcoholic men and women to recover, there exists a sentiment against any radical changes being made in it. There ore, the first portion of this volume, describing the A.A.recovery program, has been left untouched in the course of remissions made for both the second and the third editions. The section called the doctor’s opinion has been kept intact, just as it was originally written 1939 by the late Dr. William d. silk worth, our society’s great medical benefactor.
Forward to the first edition
Look precisely and point out the word recovered
We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book.
And besides, we are sure that our way of living has its advantages for all.
Foreword to second edition page xv
Point out the word recovered
In that brief space, Alcoholics Anonymous has mushroomed into 6,000 groups whose membership is far above 150,000 recovered Alcoholics.
Forward page xvii
Look up the word permanent
It also indicates that strenuous work, one alcoholic with another, was vital to permanent recovery.
Forward page xxi
Upon therapy for the alcoholic himself we surely have no monopoly. Yet it is our great hope that all those who have as yet found no answer may begin to find one in the pages of this book and will presently join us on the high road to a new freedom.
This is the way that the program of alcoholic anonymous was given to me. –not the only way but the way that was given to me.
We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, know thousands of men and women who were once just as hopeless as Bill. Nearly all have recovered. They have solved the drink problem.
The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us. But that in itself would never have held us together as we are now joined.
The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism.
What is the common solution? The 12 steps
This book was written for the still suffering alcoholic
But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly armed with the facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours. Until such an understanding is reached, little or nothing can be accomplished.
That the man who is making the approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole deportment shouts at the new prospect that he is a man with a real answer, that he has no attitude of holier than thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no fees to pay, no axes to grind, no people to please, no lecture to be endured-these are the conditions we have found most effective.
Do you they feel that same way about you…
Page 19
We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning.
Many could recover if they had the opportunity we have enjoyed. How then shall we present that which has been so freely given us?
We have concluded to publish an anonymous volume setting forth the problem as we see it. We shall bring to the task our combined experience and knowledge. This should suggest a useful program for anyone concerned with a drinking problem.
AA linage Dr Bob to Clarence Schnider to Willis Kilgore to jack Bowen to Joe Gauvin to Bruce Ciungan
The first three had direct hand in the writing of the big book, this is the 46 men and one woman who wrote the big book.
Page 20
You may already have asked yourself why it is that all of us became so very ill from drinking. Doubtless you are curious to discover how and why, in the face of expert opinion to the contrary, we have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind and body. If you are an alcoholic who wants to get over it, you may already be asking – WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?
It is the purpose of this book to answer such questions specifically. We shall tell you what we have done.
Page 21
He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish. He often possesses special abilities, skills, and aptitudes, and has a promising career ahead of him.
Point out the examples… The insanity and total powerlessness over booze
Page 22
As matters grow worse, he begins to use a combination of high-powered sedatives and liquor to quiet his nerves so he can go to work. Then comes the day when he simply cannot make it and gets drunk all over again. Perhaps he goes to a doctor who gives him morphine or some sedative with which to taper off. Then he begins to appear at hospitals and sanitariums.
What has become of the common sense and will power that he still sometimes displays with respect to other matters?
1. Person is insane when he drink and normal in others areas of his life
2. Only time a drug is mentioned
3. Alcohol and drugs are not the same
Page 23
Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body.
But in their hearts they really do not know why they do it. Once this malady has a real hold, they are a baffled lot. There is the obsession that somehow, someday, they will beat the game. But they often suspect they are down for the count.
1 .More examples of more insanity and powerlessness over booze
Page 24
The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humility of even a week or month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.
You are without defense against the first drink.
Page 25
There is a solution.
The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life, toward our fellows and toward god’s universe.
If you are as seriously alcoholic as we were, we believe there is no middle-of-the-road solution.
Page 26
He seemed quite rational and well-balanced with respect to other problems. Yet he had no control whatever over alcohol. Why was this?
More insanity
Page 26
He seemed quite rational and well-balanced with respect to other problems. Yet he had no control whatever over alcohol. Why was t
Recovered, that word recovered again…
Our hope is that many alcoholic men and women, desperately in need, will see these pages, and we believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that they will be persuaded to say, yes, I am one of them too; I must have this thing.
I must
Have at this time to find a key
Talk about him and how he did it and share
Page 30
No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows.
Is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be mashed.
1 Relate some of your experiences…
2 find out more about them…
We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals-usually brief-were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.
Page 31
By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone can do a right-about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heavens knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!
All this powerlessness
What are we missing?
Ask them if they are alcoholic and refer back to the definition
Ask them if they are not a practicing it today
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.
Do they want to do it…?
Page 33
Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. Commencing to drink after a period of sobriety, we are in a short time as bad as ever. If we are planning to stop drinking, there must be no reservations of any of any kind, nor any lurking notion that someday we will be immune to alcohol.
Several of our crowd, men of thirty or less, had been drinking only a few years, but they found themselves as helpless as those who had been drinking twenty years,
To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have.
Page 34
Though you may be able to stop for a considerable period, you may yet be a potential alcoholic. We think few, to whom this book will appeal, can stay dry anything like a year. Some will be drunk the day after making their resolutions; most of them within a few weeks.
Examples over and over of powerlessness…
Do you really want to stop?
For those who are unable to drink moderately the question is how to stop altogether. We are assuming, of course, that the reader desires to stop. Whether such a person can quit upon a nonspiritual basis depends upon the extent to which he has already lost the power to choose whether he will drink or not. Many of us felt that we had plenty of character. There was a tremendous urge to cease forever. Yet we found it impossible.
This is the baffling feature of alcoholism as we know it-this utter inability to leave it alone, no matter how great the necessity or the wish.
Repeat this…
How then shall we help our readers determine, to their own satisfaction, whether they are one of us? The experiment of quitting for a period of time will be helpful, but we think we can render an even greater service to alcoholic sufferers and perhaps to the medical fraternity.
Page 35
All went well for a time, but failed to enlarge his spiritual life. To his consternation, he found himself drunk half dozen times in rapid succession.
more powerlessness
more insanity
more unmanageability
Page 37
Whatever the precise definition of the word may be, we call this plain insanity. How can such a lack of proportion, of the ability to think straight, be called anything else?
But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened.
insanity is the unmanageability of our lives caused by alcohol
look up the word sane
Page 38
However intelligent we may have been in other respects, where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane.
share your and his experiences
Page 39
But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us out of bitter experience.
Page 40
The story he told is most instructive, for here was a chap absolutely convinced he had to stop drink, who had no excuse for drinking, who exhibited splendid judgment and determination in all his other concerns, yet was flat on his back nevertheless
here again powerlessness
insanity
Page 42
I knew from that moment that I had an alcoholic mind.
Page 43
Many doctors and psychiatrists agree with our conclusions. One of these men, staff member of a world-renowned hospital, recently made this statement to some of us: What you say about the general hopelessness of the average alcoholic’s plight is, in my opinion, correct. As to two of you men, whose stories I have heard, there is no doubt in my mind that you were 100% hopeless, apart from divine help. Had you offered yourselves as patients at this hospital, I would not have taken you, if I had been able to avoid it. People like you are too heartbreaking. Though not a religious person, I have profound respect for the spiritual approach in such cases as yours. For most cases, there is virtually no other solution.
1 this is were the first step and the second step come together
Once more: The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense.
HIS DEFENSE MUST COME FROM A HIGHER POWER.
Now I want you to for me to a mirror that will show us both.
Standing next to each other and each see the other.
-Look at yourself in the mirror; can you image you as being god? Of course not, you are not god
-Looking at me in the mirror, can you image me as being god? Of course not, I am not god…
-You can not make me
-I can not make you.
There is a god that created you and a god that create me…
Now take them out side with you and point out the trees, sky, other people, and plants.
Asking over and over;
Could you create that? No no no no no no no no
Who could create that? GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD GOD.
This is important that you believe is some power that is greater then you or I.
Go back inside sit down and ask, How do you feel?
Page 44
If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which ONLY a spiritual experience will conquer.
only a spiritual experience
To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face.
But after a while we had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life- or else.
must we must…
If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago.
Page 45
Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a POWER GEATER THAN OURSELVES. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power?
Well, that’s exactly what this book is about. Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem. That means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral. And it means, of course, that we are going to talk about GOD.
look up the word exactly.
That is exactly what this book is about.
We have written a book
Spiritual as well moral
We are going to talk about God
Page 46
Let us make haste to reassure you. We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God.
You don not have know what he is, just that he is…
Page 50
On one proposition, however, these men and women are strikingly agreed. Every one of them has gained access to, and believes in, a Power greater than himself. This Power has in each case accomplished the miraculous, the humanly impossible. As a celebrated American statesman put it, let’s look at the record.
What is strikingly agreed…?
Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things, there has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking.
What are these simple things?
The simple things are the rest of the steps
Page 53
Thinking – you can still do it…
Logic is great stuff. We liked it. We still like it. It is not by chance we were given the power to reason, to examine the evidence of our senses, and draw conclusions. That is one of man’s magnificent attributes.
Page 54
We found, too, that we had been worshippers. What a state of mental goose-flesh that used to bring on! Had we not variously worshipped people, sentiment, things, money, and ourselves? And then, with a better motive, had we not worshipfully beheld the sunset, the sea, or a flower? Who of us had not loved something or somebody? How much did these feelings, these loves, these worships, have to do with pure reason?
Do you want to drink?
When was the last time you wanted a drink?
When was the last time you did not feel like having a drink?
Page 57
God had restored his sanity
How did god do that?
God removed the desire to drink.
What was missing?
Power over booze
Even so has god restored us all to our right minds. To this man, the revelation was sudden. Some of us grow into it slowly. But he has come to all who have honestly sought him.
When we drew near to him he disclosed himself to us!
Page 58
point to chapter 5, how it works
Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program,
If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.
Are you willing to go to any length to get it?
Certain steps, sounds definite…
Page 59
Here are the steps we took:
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable.
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Continue to take personal inventory and when we wrong promptly admitted it.
Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affaires.
Page 60
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success.
Page 62
Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Page 63
We were now at step three.
this is the third step prayer
We face each other with book in hand so we can first have you read the prayer…
Then we, together both read the prayer…
Now we leave you to continue re reading the prayer until you really feel it…
God, I offer myself to thee-to do with me as thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of thy power, thy love, and thy way of life. May I do thy will always!
When they return ask them how the feel…
We though well before taking this step making sure we ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to him.
We found it very desirable to take this spiritual step with an understanding person, such as our wife, best friend, or spiritual adviser.
This was only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once.
Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning.
1 looks up the word next
Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many of us had never attempted. Though our decision was vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.
How to live without (booze) blocking ourselves from what?
God
Take our dictionary and I want you to do the 4th step your way or the way they think it is to be done
You have to write it down
Remember that at all times you are going to be alright…
We break here and for you to read to the end of this chapter
The human mind can only comprehend one thing at a time…
Page 64
Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. This was step four.
Upon your return
Hand me your forth step,
Take their fourth step wode it up and through it into the nearest trash can.
Explain to you that I already know what is in your fourth step because I am an alcoholic like you…
The bottom line causes and conditions are all the same…
A name, place or date may be different but the same
Now we are going to do the fourth step my way…
Take a blank piece of ruled paper and vertically fold the sheet into three equal sections…
Write down column 1 the list of 27 character defects.
Character defects
Self-indulgence
Self-pity
Self-justification
Self-importance
Self condemnation
Impatient
False-pride
Laziness
Procrastination
Criticism
Insincerity
Dishonesty
Rationalization
Indecision – worry
Conceit
Carelessness
Intolerance
Sarcasm
Anger
Envy
Jealousy
Greed
Lust
Hate
Suspicion
Revenge
Fear
Having them go somewhere they can be alone. Using the space in the center column to write a different name be each of the character defects
When they return have them start by talk out loud about each name completely before going onto the next name
Page 75
Returning home we find a place where we can be quiet for an hour, carefully reviewing what we have done. We thank God from the bottom of our heart that we know Him better. Taking this book down from our shelf we turn to the page which contains the twelve steps. Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last.
We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-that our lives had become unmanageable. –is this true
Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. –is this true
Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him. –is this true
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. – is this true
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. –is this true
Is our work solid so far? Well is it…
Are the stones properly in place? Well is it…
Have we skimped on the cement put into the foundation? Have we tried to make mortar without sand?
Is there anything you could go to jail for?
send the back to the room alone for one hour to put anymore names on their list
When they return start talking about the new names on the list one at a time until he is finished…
Have you omitted anything before we go on..
Page 76
If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six.
Are we now ready to let God remove from us all the things which we have admitted are objectionable? Can he now take them all – every one?
Asked him; Can God now take the all- every one
With book in hand and on your knees, you read out loud the step seven prayer…
My creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.
We say this prayer out load together for a second time
We keep saying that prayer until all 27 defects of character you feel god take them all away from you
Page 76
We have then completed Step Seven.
1 what does that mean completed step seven…
Remember it was agreed at the beginning, we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol.
Page 77
Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us.
Here you combat your character defects and their principals or spiritual principals. By each character defect you ask yourself what would I have to do so I do not to that character defect
Character defects Spiritual principals
Self-indulgence sharing -being more giving
Self-pity gratitude, self-forgetfulness
Self-justification humility
Self-importance modesty
Self-condemnation self valuation
Impatience patience
False-pride simplicity
Laziness activity
Procrastination promptness
Criticism complement –look for the good
Insincerity straightforwardness
Dishonesty (lying, steeling, cheating) honesty
Rationalization responsible
Indecision – worry hope
Conceit truth
Carelessness carefulness
Intolerance tolerance
Sarcasms understanding
Anger kindness
Envy generosity
Jealousy trust
Greed charity
Lust clean spiritual thinking
Hate love
Suspicion respect
Revenge forgiveness
Fear faith
Tear the paper into 3 parts. The first is the list of character defects that you use for step 10 to do your daily personal inventory. The second is the list of names to be used for step 8 and 9. The third list is your list of spiritual principals for you to practice in all your affair, like in step 12.
Steps 10, 11 and 12 are to be practiced each day.
