Time flies like a banana.

If you could see into the future, what would be the most interesting thing you could see?

It’s not a question I’d ever asked myself before, not because of the future bit, that’s easy, I’d just never thought about it, until that moment. The answer was something you couldn’t see. There was something I couldn’t see, or rather someone. I was sitting in the pub, like usual, having a drink, like usual. I saw a girl come in the door, pretty much like usual. Then she disappeared. That wasn’t usual. That got my attention.

I replayed the scene, there she was a step in front of where she was before, but she wasn’t coming in the door anymore. When I looked to where she was going, she wasn’t there.

I gather I don’t see things like most people do. As best I can tell, most people only see the present, not the future and not the past so well either. That seems weird to me, how do you not see the future, you just focus and you can see it, not remarkable. Most people seem hung up on the present, that was really confusing when I was young. It’s not like the present is particularly remarkable, why would you worry about it so much.

I’m pretty sure the present is where the future turns into the past. That’s the impression I get, it’s a difficult place to pin down. As the future is becoming the past it becomes increasingly difficult to change and becomes more focussed. You can only make smaller and smaller changes to it until it becomes fixed. I’m pretty sure the fixed bit of existence is “the past” as it’s called, and the changeable bit is “the future”. The changeability is how I can tell the difference between the future and the past, that makes sense.

I get the impression that most people can only see the past increasingly dimly, that makes sense. They can’t see the future at all, that’s weird. I can see the future increasingly dimly, all the possibilities, unfocused. Everything’s pretty clear for minutes, maybe hours, I can get rough impressions for longer, maybe days, any further than that, I have to concentrate hard to see anything and I’ll probably get a headache.

Then they seem to see the present so clearly, and only the present clearly. Things are clearest near this mythical point, but it doesn’t seem as important as people make out. But now I was seeing this girl, but only somewhere near the present. I couldn’t see her past, and I couldn’t see her future. When I looked, everything else was as it was, but she wasn’t there. Maybe if I looked closely I could see where she wasn’t. There was a void that people moved around.

I tried to find her again, she’d snap into focus, then disappear. She did seem to exist somewhere near the present, but I was none to sure where the present was exactly, so I didn’t know that that was where she actually was. I concentrated on seeing her, in whatever moment she actually exited in. It was hard work. I’d never tried to follow one point in time before, I’d never had a reason to. I’d keep losing her, and then have to look backwards and forwards until she blinked into existence briefly again, then try to find that exact point again. It was exhausting and it was giving me a headache, a pretty novel experience in itself. I didn’t usually bother doing things which would result in a headache.

I was concentrating so hard on seeing her, I wasn’t actually noticing what she was doing. So when she snapped at me, “What are you staring at?” I hadn’t noticed she was looking at me, and had walked up to me.

“You have no future.” Was my unguarded answer. Usually I don’t speak “off the cuff”, so to speak. I’ll have rehearsed what I’m going to say, seen the result and made changes as necessary. Words are a powerful way to affect the future, I use them wisely. Without being able to see her, I hadn’t known what I was going to say, or what the reaction was going to be.

In this case the reaction seemed to be puzzlement, “Are you high?”

“No, confused.” I managed another off the cuff remark. I could only manage to say exactly what I was feeling, I couldn’t say something guarded, it was too much work to be with her and think about what I wanted to say.

She looked a little concerned, “What’s the matter?”

“I can’t see your future.”

“You can usually see people’s future, can you?”

She didn’t sound impressed. A demonstration seemed like a good idea, but that would mean I’d lose sight of her. I hoped I could find her again. I saw what I needed and looked for her again, I found her, half turned away from me. I’d never revealed this about myself to anyone. No one else seemed to be able to do this, so it seemed like a good idea to not mention it, usually. This was anything but usual.

I spoke, “Yes, that guy is going to order a rum and coke, that guy will order a pint of Strongbow, and some pork scratchings, no make that a pint of snakebite. That guy will win the jackpot on that machine in five minutes.” I indicated three of the patrons of the pub around us. I’d had my eye on the slot machine, it was going to pay out big soon. That was usually the way to fund an evening in the pub, put a pound in the machine at the right time. No one else seemed to know when the right time was though. I’d stopped intending to win it and I saw the other guy win it instead, and saw the time it happened.

She looked startled and stopped turning as a voice form behind her said, “A rum and coke, please.”

Then, “A pint of Strongbow, and some pork scratchings. … No make that a pint of snakebite.”

“How did you do that?” She asked. I didn’t know, I needed some time to think. That in itself was a novelty, I usually have as much time as I want. Another thing I’d noticed about most people, they didn’t seem to perceive the present in a uniform manner, ‘time flies when you’re having fun’. If I’m having fun, I’ll linger in that time, and replay the good bits. You may have heard the joke, ‘Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana’, personally I think time flies more like the banana, not particularly straight, and somewhat wobbly. Which makes me wonder if the time flies really like snacking on the arrows or the banana.

People will also complain of time dragging on when they don’t want it to, if I don’t want it to, I’ll just gloss over that bit and not worry about it. Now that I’d stuck myself in the girl’s present, I couldn’t do that. “Let me buy you a drink and I’ll tell you about it.” That should buy me some time, that’s what you do in a pub. This working time in a linear manner was exhausting. Usually I started with the result and worked backwards from that. Like the day before, another pub, I’d looked around to find a good future. I found a good one, about two hours away. I was looking down at a well fucked girl, she said, “You were amazing.”

I teased out that thread and found where it got to me. In five minutes, I’d walk up to the girl and tell her, “Pizza is my second favourite thing to eat in bed.” I groaned inwardly, that was a corny line. Some really corny lines did actually work, at least some of the time. I could try them out and see what happens, without suffering scorn if the girl didn’t bite. Someone once told me that, “Nice shoes, lets fuck” was an effective line, sometimes. I spent an evening in a disco trying it out, in theory. Of three hundred girls, I’d have got lucky three times, and got slapped 23 times. In actuality I really tried it on the third girl, and did get lucky.

Yesterday, the pizza line worked, I chatted to the girl, I’m not really sure about what. I don’t take much notice of that, I just follow the script. It’s like I’m playing the part of me, and not taking any notice. It’s me ending up where I wanted to be that’s important. I think this one liked me boasting about how I could satisfy her. It might have well been one where I was the perfect listener, understanding her inner feelings, I’d have taken just as much notice. Come to think of it, I hardly remember anything about the girl. She was a girl, unremarkable. Without going back and looking I couldn’t give you a description. That probably means she was unremarkable in most ways. She was a girl, that’s all that was important, the outcome, that I scored, was important.

Every time I did something to make the desired outcome more certain, it’d become clearer, more focussed. If I did something wrong, it’d become less focussed, more distant. It’s possible to do something, seemingly harmless, which just makes that future disappear entirely. I’m pretty practiced at following the script these days, so it’s not often things go backwards. I haven’t had a future disappear on me for years now.

Things progressed, we got to her flat. The outcome was pretty sharp now, and I’d found some intermediate highlights which caught my attention, I’d dwell on those pretty much ignoring the rest of the action. The highlights and the outcome stand out like performers lit by spotlights on stage. I remember these vignettes, but not so much the action in-between. Sometimes I think of it like a pas de deux in a ballet.

There was the coda of course. The hight of passion. I’m inside of her, I’m coming. Her head is thrown back, she’s coming, moaning. Simultaneous, that’s always a good one to hit. Just through penetration is also a good one. Not all girls can come through penetration alone, I know this. But it’s amusing to make it happen if possible, the girls like it at least. A lot will tell me it’s never happened to them before and can get really quite grateful. I used to spend a lot of effort looking for the path to that, it’s a validation of my guy skills. (Even if seeing the future is cheating really, no skill needed.) So I know, some girls just don’t have it in them. Some girls can do it easy, they expect it. With most girls it’s a lot trickier, they’re the ones who’ll be most grateful if you do, and they’re the most satisfying to make it happen to. She was one of the grateful ones.

The entrée was as soon as we entered her flat. To go with a boast I’d made earlier, I could make her come even before her knickers were off. I’m pressing her against the wall, my hand under her skirt. My fingers on the crotch of her knickers. She’s coming.

In the middle, the adagio. She’s on the bed, naked on her back, her legs spread wide. I’m lying in front of her, tongue on her clit, she’s coming. That does edge out pizza as something to eat in bed. Again, I get lots of compliments on my oral technique, in fact a compliment is a good intermediate point to aim for. Sometimes I almost feel like a fraud, its not me, it’s the script, or maybe a score given my ballet theme. Whatever, I get her to dance to my tune.

Finally the curtain call. I lift myself off her, look down, and she says. “That was amazing.” I successfully navigated to the desired outcome, that’s always a plus point. The ego boost of a compliment like that is almost as good as the scoring with the girl. Almost, but not quite.

I could play the scene, entrée, adagio, coda, curtain call, in what ever order I liked, dwelling on these good bits, or anything else. Of course eventually I have to move on. And once I’ve wooed and won, and the girl, and me, are satisfied, I have to get out without forming a permanent attachment. I’m not looking for that, just some nookie and a place to sleep would do me. It’s a point of pride that I satisfy them, them telling me I’m their best ever is an ego boost, it happens a lot. After a performance like that, them forming an attachment is an occupational hazard, so I’ll go looking for something to head them off. Sometimes It’s as simple as “Lets keep this as a perfect memory and not spoil it.” As I slip off in the morning. Or they find I have an annoying habit and are glad to be rid of me. Whatever, the details aren’t important, but the outcome is what I want. If you can see the outcome, the rest is easy.

Back to her present, we took our drinks and sat down. “Hi, I’m Mike, glad to meet you.” That seemed like a reasonable start, I offered her my hand.

“Charlie.” She took my hand and shook it. She added, “That’s short for Charlene, I hate that, so I’m always ‘Charlie’.”

“Glad to meet you Charlie.” In truth I was really glad she was still with me and hadn’t just disappeared again.

“So what’s the trick? They’re friends of yours and they do that on cue to impress a girl? I’m quite flattered you think I’m worth so much effort.”

“No trick, I can see the future, usually, except yours.”

She rolled her eyes and was just about to say something when there was a commotion behind her. The machine I’d pointed out earlier was paying out a jackpot, to the guy I’d pointed to. There were bells and sirens and cheering. Charlie looked behind her then looked back to me. “Ok, that’s impressive, if you do that again, I’ll believe you. What else can you predict?”

“Anything I could see when it will happen.” I can only see things I’d be able to see in my personal future, things I’d normally be able to see.

“How about the TV? What’s the final score?” The TV was playing a football match, the time said 15:37, so it’d be about an hour and a half before it ended.

“I’m not sure I can see that far, and I don’t want to lose sight of you.”

“You must be blind if you can’t see that, and I’m not going anywhere.”

“I can see the TV fine, but an hour and a half in the future it’ll be a bit fuzzy. Even if you don’t go anywhere, I can’t see your future, or past, so if I look away I won’t be able to see you any more. I had enough trouble finding you again the last time.”

I think I sounded suitably distressed by the prospect, she again looked concerned. “How about if I hold your hand?” She took my left hand in both of hers, it was quite comforting. “Will you be able to find me then?”

I looked down at our hands. “I don’t know, I could give it a go.” I wasn’t sure what happened to my sense of touch when I looked around, I’d never thought of that before.

“You do that.”

I looked at our hands again. I clasped my right hand around hers and held them tight, insurance against her letting go. Then I looked. I wasn’t in the pub in an hour and a half. I looked closer, I could see the TV again. I found something which might work. I thought about my hands, I could still feel our hands entwined. It was off to the past from where I was looking, I looked in that direction, I saw her again, holding my hands. I concentrated on her present.

“That worked.” I said with a mixture of relief and triumph. “I’m not in the pub when the match finishes, but Chelsea score when the clock says 20:21.”

“OK, fair enough, we have four minutes to work out what’s what.” We held hands and watched the game. Football looks really weird when you watch it linearly, I’d never watched a game like that before. Events just seemed to follow in a logical progression. Weird. It got a bit boring, just kicking the ball around midfield, also weird being bored. Holding hands made it much easier to keep sight of Charlie, my head stopped hurting so much.

At 20:10, nothing had happened, but then it started to look familiar. I hadn’t taken much notice of how the goal was scored, just when it was. Usually, if I wanted to know how something happened, I’d usually just glance back to see. So I never took much notice of anything the first time I saw it. Now, the right winger kicked a long cross into the box. A Chelsea striker made a well timed run to beat the offside trap. “He heads it over the goalie.” I said to Charlie. The striker was alone inside the box as the cross reached him. The goalie was running for the ball, the striker jumped, the goalie didn’t reach the ball but the striker headed it, the ball sailed over the goalie into the net. The time was now showing 20:21.

Charlie looked at me, quite gobsmacked. She was struggling for something to say, but she looked up to the TV and it was showing a caption of “Offside”. The goal was disallowed.

Charlie looked really confused, “Umm?”

“I only saw the goal, I didn’t look long enough to see it disallowed.” On screen the replay was dissecting the incident, the action was frozen at the moment the winger kicked the ball. It looked onside to me, especially when the line with the defender was highlighted. “It still looks onside to me, that ref is blind.”

Charlie burst out laughing. “What’s so funny?” I asked.

“I’m convinced, you can see the future, that does’t depend on the ref’s decision.” That was a relief, but now what? “Now what?” She echoed my thought.

“I don’t know. … I’ve never met anyone like you before, I never knew it was possible.”

“Why don’t we go to my place and talk about it?”

That sounded like a good idea, so we walked out of the pub hand in hand, chatting. That was nice, different being in Charlie’s present. It wasn’t far to her flat, so we walked. Crossing the road, I turned my ankle, fuck that hurt. I sat on the curb, Charlie sounded concerned. “How bad is it?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never done it before.”

“You’ve never turned your ankle before?”

“I’ve never been hurt before.” She looked surprised, “If you could avoid it, you would, wouldn’t you?”

“When you put it like that, I suppose I would.”

“Well, I can, I could if I wasn’t in just the present with you. It’s always a good idea to be looking a few steps ahead at least.”

“Oh.” She looked somewhat nonplussed by that idea. “Here, let me help, we’ll see if we can get you home safely, it’s just round the corner.” I leant on her, I hobbled along. Fuck that hurt.

We got to her flat, she helped me in and sat me down on the sofa and said. “I’ll make some tea.”

That sounded reasonable, it’s the sort of thing you do when you get to someone’s home for the first time. I’ve never really taken much notice of that sort of thing though. “Sounds good.” She turned to walk away, I was still holding her hand, I didn’t want to let go.

“You’re going to have to let me go if I’m going to make the tea.”

“I don’t want to lose you again.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” She looked down at our hands. “If you’re somewhere else, I’ll hold your hand again.”

“Err, OK.” I said hesitantly, and let go of her hand. I watched her as she walked out of the room. Now I was alone, it was difficult to stay in the present. I drifted around a bit, I didn’t want to look in my future, I didn’t think there was anything I could do about it. I looked to my past and it was strange, there was no one with me, on the walk home and in the pub. Even when I was obviously leaning on someone, there was no one there.

I felt a hand grasp mine, off to future, so I looked towards that. I found Charlie, just after two steaming mugs of tea appeared on the coffee table. I smiled at her, she smiled back, I picked up my tea and we drank, mug in one hand, hand in the other.

We didn’t talk, but the silence didn’t feel awkward, just natural. I was enjoying the weird sensations of living in the present for once. Eventually the silence was broken, she asked “How come you can see the future?”

“How come you can’t?” She looked startled at the question. I went on, “I don’t know how, I’ve always been able to. It took me a while to realise no one else could.” I looked questioningly at her, “You can’t can you? It’s not normal is it? Most people don’t act like they can see the future.”

“No, I can’t and no one I know can either, at least no one admits to it. You’re right they certainly don’t act like they can.”

“I don’t admit to it, it would usually turn out badly if I ever were to mention it, so I never do.”

“You do your future thing, and see it’s not a good idea?”

“Yeah, like that.”

“So why did you tell me?”

“You’re just so hard to see, you only exist for an instant. I was concentrating so hard on seeing you I couldn’t think about anything else. If I’d tried to see what happened, I’d have lost you.”

“Hmm.”

“Hmm, what?”

“It makes me think. I just seem to have the most awful luck with people. I always seem to loose touch with everyone. No future just about sums up what I’ve been thinking of my life.”

“Hmm. … If you were just slightly in the future, you’d be invisible to most people.”

“That sounds like my life sometimes. Am I in the future?”

“I don’t know, I’m not really sure where the present is, where the future becomes the past. I don’t know how to find that point. I know roughly where it is, but being so precise about it has always been a bit of a puzzle to me. I’ve been assuming you’re in the present, not somewhere else.”

“At least you can see me, wherever I am.”

I looked at our hands entwined. “I can when you help me to see.”

“Do you like what you see?”

“What?”

“Do you like me?” She motioned to indicate her face and body with her free hand.

That wasn’t something I’d thought about, her existence was such a novelty, and I still needed quite some concentration to stay with her. “I haven’t thought about that, you’re just so novel. But, …,” I looked her up and down, she was quite pretty, “Nice.”

She visibly relaxed. She held up our hands, “If holding hands is good, what would you think of this?” She leant over and kissed me. Her other hand held the back of my head and she pulled me into her. Her tongue snaked into my mouth. It was quite a kiss. Then she let me go, and looked at me quizzically.

I thought about the kiss, remembering it, not replaying it. “Interesting, I’ve never kissed anyone in the present before. I think I like it.”

“Uh? What? You’ve never kissed before.”

“I’ve kissed plenty of times, but never linearly like that. I’m always living it my way, backwards and forwards, and lingering on the good bits. Usually with an eye to what comes next, make sure the future is what I want it to be. I just lived that kiss from beginning to end, and I have to rely on the memory of it now. I have no idea what’s coming next. This is all so weird.”

“No one’s ever called me weird before. How’s this.” She put my hand on her tit under her t-shirt. “Will this encourage you to stay in the present?”

It was a very nice tit. I didn’t remember it being quite so lightly clad. Usually, I could have checked on it earlier. Usually, I wouldn’t have to rely on my memory. But now, I didn’t want to lose sight of Charlie, and I couldn’t have seen what I wanted to see anyway. This living in the present could get frustrating, but did have compensations.

“Mmm, nice. I like this present. Just a sec.” I decided to risk looking around. I looked back and couldn’t see her, I could see the door move when she left the room. I could still feel the tit, nice. I looked towards the tit, it made it easier to find her. “I don’t know, that does make it easier to find you, so I might be tempted to drift off somewhere, if you used that to bring me back.”

She laughed, she looked thoughtful. She held my hand under her t-shirt. “I have an idea, you drift off again, I promise I’ll be here to bring you back.”

I wasn’t sure about that, “Uhm,…” She pressed my hand against her tit again, then let go of me.

I tried not to panic. “I’ll be here.” She said soothingly. I drifted, she disappeared, I looked back, I could see vague traces of where she wasn’t. Then, …

“Whoah!!” She snapped into focus, as my attention was drawn to her lips wrapping themselves around my cock. I’m not sure I said anything more, certainly nothing intelligible.

She looked up at me, she let me out of her mouth, still holding me in her hand. She smiled broadly up at me, “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

I gathered enough wits together to respond coherently. “That got my attention, if you want me back in a hurry, just do that.” She smiled up at me again, with a few more wits, I added. “Actually, anytime you feel like doing that, go ahead. I won’t mind.”

She laughed, “You’re such a bloke.”

There was something nagging at me from the memory of the blow job, brief as it was. “No, could you do that again, there’s something different.” I looked down and studied her in relation to my cock.

She looked puzzled, “Like this?” She slid her mouth over my cock again, my first blow job in the present. Blowjobs are usually something to savour and replay, but this was different. It felt sharp, immediate, in stark contrast to something. I didn’t know to what though. I luxuriated in the feeling, I could get used to this, I could do this forever. (I couldn’t really, I’d come sooner rather than later, but I wasn’t thinking of that.)

I let myself drift back again. The sensation lost its sharpness, like a memory, but I could still feel it. It was only in a very definite place though. Like Charlie was only touching me in her present, and not at any other time. It made her very easy to find, like a searchlight was shining on her. I let myself get naturally drawn back to her present. Instantly, the blowjob was back to stark relief, I groaned.

She stopped again, “So you are here, I thought you’d nodded off for a sec.”

“Sorry, I was looking at this from the past. I think you only touch me in your present, that’s why I can find when you touch me.”

She looked at me with mock severity, at least I hoped it was mock. “If I’m giving you a blowjob, I want your attention on it here and now.”

I again said, “Sorry. I’ll be here in future.” Again, more novelty, making promises I intended to keep.

“You’d better be.”

I tried to explain, “I think I worked out that my sense of touch extends through time, so usually any sensation is diffused. You’re only touching me in your present, its sharp. That’s why I can find you. I’ve never known that before.”

“Hey, I’m trying to have sex with you here, I’m not being a science experiment.” I hoped the severity was also mock.

I again started to say, “Sor…” Then changed to, “We’re having sex?”

“Haven’t you noticed?” That didn’t sound mock at all, but peeved.

“Well, erm, it’s all kind of weird. I’ve never done it in the present, in order, before.”

She laughed, it sounded like a good thing, no longer peeved. She climbed up me onto my lap. “So this is your first time is it? You’re like a virgin?”

“Well, in the present, yes.”

“Do you know what to do?”

“Err, well, …. No.” I hung my head, rather ashamed of my ineptitude. If I thought carefully about it, I’m sure I could have thought of something, but I’m sure I wouldn’t do a good job. Concentrating on that, and staying in her present would be a strain.

“Well, isn’t this peachy. I haven’t had a virgin since college. You want me to show you what to do?” She was smiling, looking pleased at the prospect.

“Yeah.” I nodded enthusiastically.

“I think the bed would be better.” She got up and tugged at my cock. I stood up and she lead me to her bedroom (by my cock).

In the bedroom, she sat me on the bed and sat next to me. She reached for the buttons on my shirt, “Lets get those clothes off.” My shirt came off, followed by my trousers and underpants, and finally socks. I was naked.

Now Charlie stood up, and let go of my hand. “No drifting off now, watch me.”

“Uh huh.” My attention was riveted on her as she reached for the hem of her t-shirt. I wasn’t actually feeling any strain keeping her in sight, I really wanted to see this. Like just about everything else in the present it was weird, sexy but weird. The progression was quite a turn on. I could appreciate why men liked stripteases, I’d never seen the attraction before. If clothes were coming off, I could see whatever state of undress I wanted. Now I was being shown Charlie’s treasures on her terms, not mine. First the tits under the t-shirt, then her knickers and legs under the jeans. Finally, the knickers came down to reveal her sex and bum. I was definitely interested.

She crossed her arms and cupped her tits, then slowly, sensuously moved her hands down her body, passing by her sex. The show was really getting to me. I groaned. Charlie looked at me, smiling, “You like?”

“Wow, yeah, that was amazing. I like being in your present.” I smiled, she smiled even more, that also had a strange effect on me, my insides felt like they were exploding. I smiled even more.

She sat down again, next to me. She took my hand and pressed it to her tit, while she grabbed my head again, and kissed me like she had before. If her smile was explosive, you can only guess what a tit and a full kiss like that did to me, I can’t find the words to describe it. It was amazing. When she broke the kiss, I’m sure I groaned some more.

She said, “I think you’re ready, I know I am.” She pulled her self up onto the bed, while still holding my hand, and lay on her back. She looked so yummy lying their, I didn’t even think how weird this was. I was having no problem staying in her present, it actually felt natural.

She gently guided me up onto the bed and between her open legs. “Can you manage from here?”

I looked down between her legs, her sex was wet and inviting. The next bit seemed pretty obvious. “I think I’ve got this.” I leant over her, resting on my hands. I took myself in one hand and ran my cock up her sex. She shivered and her eyelids fluttered. Her look was pure lust, I don’t think I’d ever bothered really studying a girls face before as I was doing it. There always seemed to be more interesting things to look at, but now it was the most erotic thing in the world. Like I said, staying in the present does seem to have its compensations.

I pushed at her entrance, I met very little resistance. Her moan of passion, “Yes!”, it just added her look of lust, electrifying.

I moved gently inside her, the blowjob had been amazing, this was just mind blowing. It felt so real, so immediate, so raw. I don’t think I could have gone else where if I’d wanted to, but I didn’t want to. It was no longer a searchlight guiding me to her, but a shaft of pure noonday sunlight. That metaphorical sunlight threw a halo around her. She glowed in her passion.

“You’re beautiful, I’m coming.” A bit of a non sequitur, but it covered the events which came next. I was caught by surprise that I was coming, it hadn’t seemed like any time at all. As they say, ‘time flies when you’re having fun’. I could understand that now, if not appreciate what it did for me.

Charlie’s reaction was multifaceted. She smiled, she groaned, she gasped, “Me too.” She came.

I flopped off to the side of her, making sure to grasp her hand, and just lay in the afterglow, basking in the beauty of the present. Eventually we looked at each other, I said, “That was amazing, we’ve got to do it again sometime.”

She smiled and flopped back on the bed. “I like that idea.”

—

They say opposites attract. I’m not sure we’re opposites, but we are complimentary. I’m the only person who can see her whenever she is, she’s the only person who can keep me in one place (in time). It’s like we were made for each other.

Now I’ve been with Charlie for a while, I’m getting used to this weird linear living thing. I like being with her, so I have to live in her time. Even if we’re not doing much, just sitting and existing, it’s nice. So now I get to watch TV as it was meant to be seen. It’s a lot better like that. Even books make sense like that. I could never get into books before Charlie, they demand to be read linearly, I never had the patience to read much. Now, if I’m going to exist in linear time, a book makes much more sense. Now I actually like reading.

It’s still weird living with Charlie, but I like it. I’d also like to say thanks to Charlie for helping me linearise this story, I’m still not used to all this.

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Appendix: Time Fly

The time fly is a small parasitic insect native to the third moon of Jaglan Beta. In the final sessile phase of the time fly’s life cycle, it seeks an intelligent host and bonds to the host’s central nervous system, losing its legs and wings in the process. Being infected by a male time fly confers the ability to see the future on its host. The mating display of the female time fly causes the host to drift slightly in time, making her invisible to most creatures except hosts infected by a male time fly.

The time fly is now infesting planets throughout the galaxy after a Lazlar Lyricon spaceship crashed into Jaglan Beta III, causing a banana infested with time fly larvae to be flung into space and catch on a passing spaceship. Time flies mainly eat fruit in their motile phases.

— Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, 3rd ed. Megadodo Publications.

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