Toy Store Boy Chapter Eight: Virginity Lost

Introduction:
Chapter 8: Virginity lost
Katie came home for the summer this year and it was last summer all over again. She looked even more beautiful then I had remembered her. We were having a small welcome home Katie/Belated 19th birthday Joey party that night. That meant some friends were coming over in just about an hour.
Katie walked in and everyone ran to hug her. Everyone except me. I was so turned on by the sight of her, I waved at her and went to my room.
I laid on my bed willing myself down. I wasn’t angry or love sick for her like I had been last year when she came home, she had just really turned me on today. I reached over and flipped on my radio and tried to focus on the music and calm down.
It was working until that dumb ass song came on. I instantly got hard again. I cursed inwardly this was pissing me off, every time something’s going on that dumb ass song plays. I wondered what would happen next. Would some one burst though my door now and fuck me? I mean for crying out loud if it wouldn’t have been for that cursed song I never would’ve met Katie the day at the toy store. I never would’ve run into her at the barn and I wouldn’t had got and erection the night of the dance. That song had started both of the relationships I had with the girl of my childhood dreams and the girl I really loved.
I laid there fighting myself back because I could hear guests arriving already. I decided to just not fuck around anymore I reached over and grabbed my old shirt from by the bed and I unzipped my pants and attacked myself. I was mid stroke when predicatively the door opened. I hated the fact Lilly had removed all the locks from the bedroom doors. I looked up in horror all the old guilt on my face, my fears rising up in me. It only lasted for an instant as it was Ash who entered. She gave me a crooked smile.
“Was it Katie?” she asked knowingly as I grabbed my old shirt and came hard. I dropped the shirt back to the floor and zipped myself up before I answered her.
“Only partly.” I said truthfully.
“So if it wasn’t just Katie what was it?”
“It was that dumb ass song.” Before she could ask I started to explain the last bits I hadn’t told her last year. I told her about the song and how it had affected my life. I was honest with her to a point. I still left out the part where the song had been playing at the dance. I wasn’t ever going to tell her. If she remembered she could put two and two together herself. She probably hadn’t been paying attention to what song was playing when I was poking her in the stomach.
When I was done talking she had a crooked smile on her face. She took my hand and led me out of the room. The party was starting and we needed to make an appearance.
With Katie home now it seemed like Lilly had gone into hyper drive. They had 2 weeks until we went to the lodge and the wedding. With Lilly running her around everywhere I really didn’t have much of a chance to even see Katie. I realized as soon as she had set foot though the door, Ash had been right. The only reason I couldn’t commit to Ash was because in the back of my heart I still had a fantasy about being with Katie. I loved Ashley so much I couldn’t make love to her without her being the only girl in my heart. But wait did that mean I could make love to Katie with Ashley taking up so much more room in my heart? What did that mean? I really did love Ash more. I spent the next 2 weeks in just this same confused frenzy. I needed to work this out and make a decision.
One week until the wedding Linda came to the house to help and stay with us at the lodge. Lilly was running around like crazy taking Linda, Ash and Katie with her most of the time. The four girls had wedding fever. With them gone all the time I some how got the responsibility of taking care of the stupid dog. At first I was not happy to be left with the dog, but as time moved on I grew to like walking him or going to the park as an excuse to just get out of the house for a while.
It had seemed like the summer had just started and already it was July. It was finally time for the wedding I found myself in part of a caravan heading to the lodge. Ash had wanted to ride with me, I said yes. She talked the whole way about her wedding day and what she would want. She held my hand the whole ride.
Dad had booked the whole place for the week. We had a number of close friends and family coming to stay the whole week. This ended up causing some changes in the sleeping arrangements. There ended up being some last minute scheduling changes and we had more people coming then we had beds.
Ash suggested that since we all live together anyway that the three of us take the upstairs corner room. It had a full size bed and a twin stuffed into a small room. Ash stated that her and Katie could share the full size bed and I could have the twin.
Everybody thought this was a good idea. Katie an I glanced at each other questionably. What was Ash up too? She knew about the tension between me and Katie. But everyone thought it was a great solution. So here we are again. I’m sharing a room with the girl of my teen fantasy’s. I hoped this wouldn’t back fire.
The wedding was on our second day at the lodge. Lilly looked beautiful, she wore a blue dress, not white. Dad was in a full tux. It was the most dressed up I had ever seen him. The ceremony took place on the side yard of the lodge amongst the trees. It was probably the most romantic looking wedding I had ever seen. I re-created it when I got married a few years later. This week here at the lodge, because of this wedding changed my life forever. When I had my wedding here it was to honor that. But I’m getting way ahead of myself. My wedding comes way later.
The reception seemed to go on forever. It seemed everyone we ever knew showed up to congratulate my parents. I was happy for dad I loved Lilly so much I envied Katie that she was her real mother. I wished she was mine.
We finally broke the reception after dark that night. I retired to the room, I was tired and I wanted out of my suit. I got to the room to find it empty. I changed from my suit to a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. I did acknowledge that both girls I was sharing a room with had not only seen me naked but had given me head. But due to the circumstances I chose to put on clothes to sleep in.
I laid down on the bed and fell asleep. I was awoke by Ash some time later. I looked at my watch, it was only 10:20. Ash was shaking me slightly.
“What?” I asked groggy.
“I just really need to be loved right now.” I was shocked, we couldn’t do anything now.
“Now might not be the best time…….”
“Katie is downstairs with my sister. I locked the door. We have a few minutes.” She laid down with me and put her arms around me.
“Thank you, Joe,” she whispered as I slid my arms around her too, “I just needed you to hold me.”
“I love you, Angel.”
“I love you too. But we don’t have time for this,” she giggled squeezing my cock that had grown, poking her leg now, “Just think we only have one year and one month until your promise.” I kissed her and she slid her hand inside my shorts and started stroking me.
Now she was appealing to my sense of danger. Anyone could’ve come up here at any time. Our kissing was growing passionate as she stroked me faster. I was getting so close as we heard the door knob turn. The door was locked so it didn’t open. There came a small knock.
At the same time we heard the knob Ash rolled off the bed lightly as to not make a sound. By the time the knock came she leaned over and whispered in my ear, “Pretend to be asleep.”
I pulled the blanket over me and rolled on my side away from the door so as not to give away my raging erection. Ash opened to door as I was rolling into place as to not have much delay from the knock to her opening the door. Before Katie even walked in Ash held her finger to her face and ssssshed Katie.
“Joey’s asleep,” she told Katie quietly.
“Why was the door locked?” Katie asked suspiciously.
“I was going to change and I didn’t want anyone to walk in on me.”
“You were going to change right in front of Joey?”
“He’s asleep,” Ash said confidently, “Besides he has his back to us.“
“Good point. We’ll see him if he tries to roll over.” Katie said as if it were a warning if I were awake. I heard two different zipper sounds and I realized that they were helping each other out of their dresses. I cursed myself for rolling away from the wall I really wanted to peak at them. It had been 3 years since I had seen Katie. I was drooling on my pillow at the thought that for an instant behind me she was naked. I was so hot at the thought of both girls naked together I actually came without touching myself. I felt twelve years old again as wet cum filled my boxers.
I woke the next morning to Ash shaking me. She said Katie had just left and she leaned in to kiss me. I was on my back and standing up in front of her. She giggled and slid her hand in my shorts.
“Kind of sticky in here,” she giggled, “To bad you didn’t roll the other way last night. You’d have ripped though your shorts.” I had no doubt she was right. She started stroking me with the mental image from last night and the danger of getting caught I didn’t last long.
“Angel I’m ….” I said very softly. She pulled up the leg of my shorts and boxers, lowered her head on the head of my cock as I came in her mouth. She swallowed it down quickly and removed her hand. She got off the bed and started changing into her swim suit.
“Were all heading to the pool. It’s already hot outside.” She pulled on her bathing suit an came back to the bed. I put my arms around her.
“Thank you for the wake up.”
“We didn’t get to finish last night,” she whispered in my ear. She knew the whispering was a turn on for me and it was working.
“Ok you have to go before I rip that bathing suit off you.”
“Ok but don’t take to long …….. I’ll say changing, up here.” she said looking down at the fact I was already up again.
She left the room an I took care of my second orgasm. I put on my swim trunks and headed to the pool. Katie and a number of other girls were already down there. There was more half naked flesh then my teenage brain could handle. It was a good thing I was drained already. Had Ash thought about that for me earlier? I would have to thank her none the less.
Things were going great we had music blasting, everyone was playing and dunking and frolicking like little kids. The water felt amazing to me on this hot morning. It was afternoon before I knew it. Some of the people had gotten out some were tired of swimming some just went to get some lunch. As people were getting out I looked around but had lost track of both Ash and Katie.
It was then disaster struck. If your smart you probably already realized this is where our story began. I’m running through it again because now that you know who we are, I will imagine this seen takes on a whole different meaning. When I wrote the opening I was trying to hide certain dentals, I now return you to the re-written opening.
I was debating getting out of the pool and getting some lunch myself, when that dumb ass song came on. I could feel myself getting hard so I slipped away as fast as possible. I was pissed this was still happening to me. The last time in my room was bad enough, but now in a pool full of relatives and friends was more then annoying.
That song always put thoughts of Katie in my head and I began getting really worked up as I ran up the stairs. I felt like I was still 12 years old. I would just jack myself really fast and head down for lunch.
That was the plan until I found Katie standing in the room. I opened the door to see her standing there wearing only a pair of pink swim suit bottoms with a daisy on the front. I didn’t mean for it to happen but in that moment their was only me and Katie. I forgot about the party downstairs our parents, our friends, and Ash. All I could see was my sister. Six years of burning lust exploded in me and nothing else existed.
She looked at me as if I had walked in on her intentionally while she was changing. When I opened the door she leaning over to pick up a shirt off the bed. Her breasts were amazing. Her skin was tan and her hair still damp and clinging her.
We stood there for what seemed like an eternity, I couldn’t take my eyes off her nearly naked body. I jumped into an erection so hard that it hurt, yet I still couldn’t say anything to her or take my eyes off her. She was so beautiful, her still wet body from the pool glistening, her full breasts, nipples constricting turning hard from the cold air in the room. There was no way for me to hide the erection trying to burst through my loose swim shorts. She was looking at my erection.
I don’t know what took me over in that moment but I pulled my shorts down letting them just hit the floor, but not stepping out of them. I stood there nude and the first real look of embarrassment came across her face, I could see it spread though her cheeks, but she didn’t look away.
I grew bolder. I worked up all my courage and moved across the room to her. Without a word I leaned in and kissed her neck. My body was pressing against hers and I felt her shutter. At first she was non responsive I was about to pull away when she moved my face from her neck and kissed me on the mouth. We kissed lightly at first then moving into heavier kisses. I opened her mouth with my tongue and both of ours danced together. It was the most passionate kiss we’d had since the night at the barn.
I reached up with one hand and ran my fingers though her hair, the other I slid behind her back pulling her close to me. I couldn’t believe she was letting me hold her. It had been so long, I had so much need for this I didn’t care that it was wrong. I didn’t care about right or wrong in that second I was finally holding her again.
All I could think about was I could lose my virginity to her right here and now and it was all due to that dumb ass song. That god damn song. We were still standing and kissing hard when my excitement became to much and I came on her. It happened without much warning, she was leaning against me pressing it down against her thigh, when all of a sudden I let loose and I shot myself down her leg. I was embarrassed, and I turned my head away.
“It’s ok, it wouldn’t be us with out you going off early,” she whispered in my ear pulling my face back to hers, “I can’t deny how wrong this is but, your my toy store boy and you’ve always been such a good brother,” she spoke softly right before kissing me again.
“I think I’m in love you,” I told her. The reason I had said, think, in that statement was because at that moment I wasn’t sure how to feel. I deeply loved Ash but I couldn’t deny that I still had some feelings for my sister.
“Don’t make this worse then it is,” she said lightly, kissing me again. She pulled away and lied down on the bed. She took my hand and pulled me to her.
“I don’t know how much time we have,” she whispered in my ear as I lied on top of her. Despite my early release I was still really hard. There was know way I was going soft at this moment with my dreams coming true.
She reached down and slid her swim suit off. I moved between her legs looking intently at her beautifully shaved pussy. It was more beautiful then I had ever imagined. She took me in hand and brought me to her. I thrust forward not really knowing what I was doing. She moaned and I came again almost right away. She smiled as I came and ran her hand along my cheek. I didn’t stop thrusting.
I was inside her and I was on fire. I’m not sure how long we were together before it was over, but it probably wasn’t as long as it felt. I know it was way to short to cover for the 6 years of yearning behind it. I was lost in a world of my own creating. I’d never felt so good or emotional. I couldn’t get enough of her, I began to kiss her neck again when she told me we needed to stop.
“This is so wonderful, but we should get back to the party before some one notices were both missing,” she said softly. I rolled off of her putting my arms around her, pulling her close, putting my head on her breasts. I could hardly breath from exhaustion and both orgasms.
“No one will suspect that we were up here doing this.”
“No. But we’ve been up here for a while and I don’t want to be found out. It would be…….bad” She paused and started stroking my hair.
She got up off the bed and her hair fell over her face. I didn’t move, she looked at me in a sideway glance her hair covering half her face. I couldn’t see the expression on her face. It was all starting to hit me what just happened.
My breathing and thoughts returning to normal. It was then that I started go get scared. What were we going to do now? What if some one found out? Oh god I had cum inside her! She could get pregnant. A mixture of emotions started swirling in my head. Love, fear, happiness, and disappointment our moment was over.
It was then with my rational mind returning I thought of Ash. How could I have done this to her? Granted we had decided to wait to be in a official relationship, but this was Katie, what would this mean between me and Ash if she knew I had finally made a decision and given my virginity to Katie and not her?
“Katie….. I…..?” I didn’t know what to say. She was putting her shorts on.
“Don’t………. We can talk about this tonight.” She said picking up her shirt off the other bed, “I’m just worried that some one will come up here and over hear, I’ll see you down stairs.”
“Ok.” I kind of croaked. I wanted to hold her and she was leaving. I hopped she wasn’t ashamed of doing it with her brother. I knew that had been her fear for a long time, a fear that we would end up having sex. I got off the bed and pulled on my jeans and lied back down on the bed it still had her sent on it. I laid there and drifted off to sleep.
It was Ash who woke me. She was kissing my neck and my pants were open she had me in her hand stroking me slowly.
“How do you feel?” She asked.
“Right now both good and scared.” I looked at my watch it was 7:00 already. I had slept all afternoon, it had been lunch time when I came up here.
“You should stop, we could get caught.”
“No, everyone else is way out in the woods doing the bon fire and barbecue thing, besides they think your sick.”
“Why do they think I’m sick?”
“Your dad was looking for you earlier and Katie told him you were up in the room feeling sick. I volunteered to come up here and look after you.” I thought it was clever how she had some how manipulated this situation resulting in us being alone right now, but if it gave us time I was ok with it.
“So how do you feel?” she asked again.
“I’m not actually sick. But if you keep up that slow motion your doing I’ll feel fine in just a couple minutes.” She looked at me with her crooked smile.
“No, how are you feeling now that you’ve finally made love to Katie.”
“She told you?” I was shocked. As far as I knew Katie didn’t know Ash knew about us and vice versa.
“She didn’t tell me, you just did.” Tears filled her eyes and she ran to the other bed and curled into a ball rocking herself. I couldn’t believe she just played me like that. I zipped myself up and followed her to the other bed. I put my arms around her and pulled her to me.
“Oh Angel, I’m so sorry,” I whispered to her, “Something happened and I lost control today.” The moment I heard the song I had been thinking about Katie and opening the door to see her naked I lost all control f my senses and my lust had taken over. In that moment I had not only forgotten about Ash, it was like she didn’t even exist right then. Seeing the tears in her eyes that I had caused her I would never forgive myself.
“I’m so, so sorry.” I began to cry, “I love you more then the world.”
“But you slept with Katie.” I couldn’t argue that.
“I know baby girl,” I hadn’t called her that since we got together, “I’ll never forgive myself for hurting your.”
“Then make it up to me.” She rolled onto her back causing me to have to sift my position. She kissed me, I knew what she wanted. I still didn’t know if I could give it to her. I laid on top of her kissing her with all my love and passion for her. I had my knees between her knees, palms resting flat on the bed on either side of her breasts. She pulled up her skirt between us and pulled down her panties. My heart was beating in my rib cage so hard I thought I might die. I knew what she wanted. I wanted what she wanted. But I still hadn’t sorted out Katie yet. I couldn’t take Ash’s virginity without being whole heartedly in love with her. For an angel like her she deserved better. I loved her so much my heart was trying to explode from anticipation. Could I really do this? What was my real fear?
She unbuttoned my jeans. My breathing was heavy. It was like I was the virgin here not her. She unzipped my jeans. My heart beat was hard and I felt like I might pass out. She slid down my jeans to my knees. I almost couldn’t breath. She grabbed my cock and I came on her stomach. I grew harder as she stroked. I started shaking. I hadn’t been this nervous with Katie.
“Calm down,” she said running her other hand over my cheek, “I want this more then I’ve ever wanted anything. I’ve wanted this since I was twelve.” My shaking had turned to a shutter. I knew this was the moment. It was now, today I had never been this scared over anything before. I closed my eyes as I lowered my hips and slid down a little. I kicked my jeans off my lower legs.
“It’s okay,” she whispered in my ear, “Your not going to hurt me.” How did she become the older one in our relationship? I had already made up my mind. She positioned me to her. I had been here before. With other girls, this is usually the time when the lights went out in the library like when I was with Brook or Katie had walked in the door when I was with Abby.
That was then and she was now. I listened for the a sign. Something to tell me if I doing the right thing. No lights went out, no footsteps in the hall. There was no sudden thunder claps or loud thuds I listened for anything but it didn’t come. The only sound in that moment was an angelic voice whispering in my ear, “I love you so damn much.”
I slid into her delicate pink love petals and she cried out loud. She was so tight I felt like I had entered a steel vice lined in silk. She was so warm inside, so very warm she almost burned. She was so warm and so tight, I couldn’t believe how so right this all felt. The world felt right, she felt right. My fears melted away with one stroke within her. How could I have waited for this? Ash should have been my first without any hesitation so long ago. I had tried to the right thing for her, this right now felt more right then any moment in my life.
I brought my mouth down on hers after she cried out the first time. Kissing her heavily I backed out slowly and I trust forward again. She cried out into my mouth again. She was so tight and insanely hot inside I thought she would friction burn the skin off my cock if I thrust anymore. But I did, I couldn’t stop. I again slowly began to pull back a little and thrust forward.
I was all the way inside my angel and I knew I was the devil. I couldn’t believe I was here with her now in this moment. We began to move together. She wasn’t thrashing or shaking like usually did when I ate her out. She had what I would call an unusual calm about her as I trust into her. She began to lift her hips up to meet my every thrust. My body had caught up with my mind and finally shopped shaking, all there was in the world was Ashley, my love, my angel, my baby girl.
I was going to burn in hell for this but I didn’t care anymore. She didn’t just moan, but screamed with pleasure with every thrust. I kept my mouth clamped on hers.
Without warning her body tensed up so tight I couldn’t move. It was my turn to cry out into her mouth. I could feel her squirt on my cock, her juices running down us where we connected. Her warm fluid almost had a cooling effect on me where I was exposed from the flame that was her love flower.
I didn’t slow down when she came, I sped up the speed and depth of my strokes. I wasn’t far after her first orgasm. I shot my seed deep within her. Her body clamped down on my cock again as I shot into her. I still didn’t stop. Somehow I only kept getting harder every time I came. I ran my tongue across hers as I continued my hard thrusting. She was still crying out with each thrust. Her whole body convulsed as her third orgasm hit her. I would’ve been thrown off her had her pussy not clamped down like a steal press not letting me pull free. More juices flooding the bedspread now. I slowed down again as I regained control and her body stopped shaking. I went back to slow even trusts. She was shaking unaccountably now. Despite the shaking I couldn’t stop. Now that I was inside her I never wanted to stop. I came again inside her. I still couldn’t stop, I was never pulling myself from her. Our kissing never stopped as she screamed her shaking got worse and she arched her back experiencing her fourth orgasm.
This is where she had passed out in our past sessions. Her body fell limp but she still had her eyes open. I looked down into those eyes. I still couldn’t stop. She was beautiful I kept going slow and lovingly. I couldn’t stop.
“I love you so damn much,” she said to me. Her voice soft, quiet an full of love. I somehow came inside her a third time. Granted the second and third times for me where far smaller then the last but I had shuttered another small orgasm. I fell off of her onto the bed. My dick was raw, it was sore to the touch as if I had ran sandpaper over it. I would feel that tomorrow.
“I love you Ashley.”
I was exhausted physically and emotionally. She got up and went to the window and opened it the rush of air felt so good. I pulled my jeans back on just in case someone decided to come back. She wiggled out of her skirt and used it to wipe herself off. She put on fresh panties and a pair of jeans.
After we had put our clothes back on I pulled the blanket off the bed, the upper floor had a laundry shoot and I stuffed the blanked down the shoot and went back to the room to replace the blanket with one from the hall linen closet. With the new blanket in place and the evidence gone Ash climbed back on the bed with me. I pulled her to me kissing her neck.
“That was the greatest moment of my life,” I told her.
“Mine too. I’m so happy, even if I’m going to be really sore tomorrow.”
“Your so tight I’m going to be sore too.”
“So was I good?” she asked still giggling.
“So good.”
I laid there and thought about the day. Ash hadn’t given me much time to reflect before she had been up here to have her first time too. I had slept with both my childhood dream girl and my hearts true love. It had been exciting in a unbelievable way with Katie. But with Ashley it had been so much more. I liked both but I liked it more when real love was behind it.
I looked up and Ash had tears in her eyes.
“I’m sorry baby angel, that I broke my promise to you. This is why I thought we should wait.” I felt guilty. I knew she said she really wanted it but she had tears running down her cheeks falling off her chin. I held her rubbing her back. I didn’t know what to say to make this moment ok. It had been so great and now the fear and regret were setting in. For as smart and mature she is sometime I forgot she was a little girl.
“It’s ok. I love you so much,” I reassured her.
“Because of……. tonight?” she asked and I was surprised by that question.
“No. Because of everyday.” She cried more.
“I wanted today to happen so bad,” she cried, “I just never know it would hurt so much.”
“I didn’t want to hurt you. That’s why I wanted to wait,” I tried to calm her down but she burst into more tears.
“I didn’t know it would hurt me so much to share you.”
“Oh,” I exclaimed, “I’m so sorry Ash. That should never have happened.”
“It’s ok, you had to know…….. You had to finish what you started with her to ever get past it.”
“I didn’t need to sleep with her to know I loved you.”
“I always thought that was what was holding you back with me. I knew one day you would make love to her. I accepted that. I just didn’t know it would hurt me so much to share you.”
“Katie wasn’t what was holding me back, Angel,” I said to her more out of reassurance, but I didn’t know if I actually believed that, “I was just waiting until the perfect moment with you, one moment in time where the world was all about us so I could show you what you mean to me. Just like what happened tonight.”
She looked me in the eye and pressed her forehead to mine. We sat looking into each other’s eyes. Her tears started to subside a little.
“Really, you thought it was perfect?” She asked timidly.
“I will tell you something truthfully,” I started, “I had sex with Katie today, but I made love for the first time to you. I know the difference because of you. I could spend a thousand years trying to describe how you felt and never be able to get it out right.”
“Thank you,” she said quietly her demeanor changing again. She smiled and kissed me. We laid down on the bed together. I figured we could lay together until I heard someone coming back up stairs, then I would send her to the other bed so we wouldn’t get caught. We fell asleep not long later.
I woke up early the next morning, Ashley was lying on top of me. I was panicked for a minute until I looked over and saw that Katie wasn’t in the room. I slipped out from under her and walked out of the room. I was exhausted and hungry. I hadn’t eaten anything all day yesterday and I had worn myself out really good. I noticed the cleaning girl was working on the hall as I past her.
I walked downstairs on my way to the kitchen. I knew the kitchen staff started with breakfast early. I hoped they had something ready. I had made it as far as the lobby when I found Katie. She was curled up in a ball on the lobby couch, she looked like she was freezing. I leaned over and pushed on her shoulder.
“Katie,” I called quietly, “Katie, go up to the room.” Her eyes flew open when I spoke to her. She glanced around the room seeing we were alone, she slapped me across the face. It caught me so off guard I lost balance and landed on my butt.
“What?”
“How could you, I thought you were better then that!” She growled at me.
“What are you……..?”
“Your going to sit there and tell me you didn’t use me? Or her?” Now my panic button hit when she said her. Did she know about Ash?
“What are you talking about?” I tried not to give up something she might not actually know.
“You told me you loved me yesterday,” she started tears forming in her eyes. Jesus Christ, I thought, all I do is make girls cry anymore.
“I do love you.”
“Don’t say that. How can that be true? How can you love me and take advantage of Ash like you did?”
“I think it’s time we finally had that talk we’ve been putting off for the last couple years.”
“I don’t want to hear it. I’ve heard this speech from guys and girls for that matter.” I got up from the floor and took her hand.
“Come with me, just for a little while,” I asked, “Let’s talk, if your still mad at me when we talk this out, I promise I will never talk to you again if that’s your wish.”
“Ok,” she said tentatively. I led her outside and we went for a walk in the woods. I wanted to find a place where no one would be ease dropping.
I confessed everything to her. I told her about that dumb ass song. I told her about how much I had loved her for all those years. I reminded her of the conversation we had, had a year ago when she admitted to having a girlfriend. I had told her that I had a secret love then, I admitted to being in love with Ashley. I told her the whole story that is basically everything that is this story I’m writing now.
When I was done she was quiet. We lay on the grass together looking at the clouds pass by. I couldn’t tell if minutes or hours had passed as I had confessed to her, everything I had done.
“How did you know I was with Ash?” it finally dawned on me to ask.
“I came back to the room to talk to you last night. I walked in and you guys were asleep together, she had her arm around you. Even with the window open I could smell a musty smell in the room and I knew you guys had done it. It was strong enough I knew it couldn’t have been from us earlier.”
“Oh, did you tell anyone?”
“No, I wanted to talk to Ash first. I thought if you slept with us both then you were just a selfish asshole pig and I wanted her to go with me to mom and dad.”
“I didn’t mean for any of this to happen yesterday.”
“I know. If I would’ve stopped to think about it,” She started, looking down almost ashamed, “I would’ve realized you always act from your heart, not you dick, like most men.”
We sat in silence for another few minutes. Katie moved over closer to me and grabbed my hand. She explained that the reason she had been so upset to find me and Ash was that she thought I had taken advantage of her. Katie said she had, had her share of bad experiences and the thought of me ruining Ash’s innocence had set her into a rage. There was no way she was going to live with me if I was a pig asshole who uses the innocence of little girls. She was really happy it was out of love, she could understand me falling for Ash.
I told Katie I loved her. There was no getting around that fact. Every time I tried to put it out of my mind, it flared up worse every time she was around. But as much as I loved her, I was in love with Ash. I told her I could never again be with anyone else.
She teared up a little at the sentiment, but said she understood. She loved her aunt very much. She was happy that we were in love. She was happy about how much I loved Ash. She had thought I was some kind of monster for sleeping with her. But after I had told her the whole story she actually gave us her blessing.
She told me that things had worked out really good for us. She admitted that she had been scared about what I thought this had meant for us. She told me that she hadn’t meant to sleep with me. She said she had just lost control in the moment.
She didn’t regret having sex with me, she loved me but for the sake of Ash and her girlfriend we shouldn’t have done it. I told her I thought she had broken up with her girlfriend. She told me she had. She said she was dating another girl now. She felt bad for having cheated. I understood.
I asked her about her girlfriend, would she break up with Katie for this? I felt bad that I might had cost her another relationship. Katie told me she was in love, real love with her girlfriend and thought she could work it out. I hoped so. I asked her what her new girl was like? Katie smiled and said I would meet her soon enough. That was true it would be hard not to meet someone she was dating if we were living together.
We walked to the lodge still holding hands, we were now for the first time simply brother and sister. Just a brother and sister that shared a secret bond. When we returned we went to the dinning hall and got some lunch. Food sounded so good as I had now missed another meal. Ash found us as I was eating a sandwich about ten minutes after we got back. She had a suspicious look on her face but knew better then to say anything in front of the family.
Ash and I decided to go hiking up the mountain trail that afternoon. We asked everybody if they wanted to hike with us, only Linda had said yes. We were getting ready to go when Lilly talked Linda into going to the hot tub with her. She liked that idea better and decided to stay.
That was fine with us, I told Ash we needed to talk. She said she had expected a talk from me today. More so after seeing me with Katie that morning. I told her what was said between Katie and I. Then I told her that since we had gone ahead and crossed the line already I didn’t see the point in waiting anymore to do it again. She hugged me, and said she had been expecting me to tell her we couldn’t do it again.
While we hiked found a secluded grassy area and decided to take a break. As we sat I told her I had something else I wanted to talk about with her.
“The real reason I wanted to talk to you alone, Ash, is I have a question for you that I’ve never asked a girl before,” I said to her shyly. I didn‘t know why I was so nervous I knew the answer yet I almost couldn‘t ask the question, “Ashley my angle love, would you be my girlfriend officially?”
“YES!” she screamed and kissed me.
“Ok,” I said with my heart thumping in my chest, “Wow, you’re my girlfriend.” I said not for her but for me. I was so overwhelmed with happiness just to have a title on our relationship.
We laid down in the grass and began making out. It didn’t take long and I had a need to have her again. I couldn’t control my self I lifted her skirt and pulled down my shorts. We started to make love again but both decided we were to sore from the night before to actually do it yet. We kissed some more and continued the trail.
“Joe, can I ask you a question.” We had only gone about 70 feet up the trail when she asked.
“What’s that my girlfriend?” I asked and she smiled shyly and looked down her feet. I couldn’t get enough of calling her my girlfriend.
“You said you never asked a girl before…… to be your girlfriend. But you dated Abby.”
“I never actually asked her. We were running around all the time, fooling around. One day she just started referring to me as her boyfriend. I just went with it. I never actually asked her.”
“Oh, Ok, I wasn’t sure.”
We spent the remainder of the week at the pool, hot tub and game room. We played air hokey and shot pool. It was really fun. Little by little our family and friend started leaving for home, giving us more time and places to be alone. On the last full day at the loge we hiked back up the mountain trail to our grassy spot again and made love again. It was just as special the second time as the first. I couldn’t get enough of my little lover.
Ashley rode home with me after the wedding. She held my hand the whole time. But unlike the ride up she didn’t talk much. Instead she mainly looked out the window. She looked like she had something on her mind. I decided not to pry, she would tell me what was one her mind when she was ready. I drove us home spending half my time looking at the road and half my time admiring my girlfriend.
Preview: Chapter Nine: Confessions
I got up really early the next morning. I sat for a few minutes trying to decide if I should wake Ash, I had made a decision last night. One that broke my heart and I knew would break hers. It was very early in the morning and I decided not to wake her up so I wrote her a note:
Ash,
Nothing will ever change the fact that I love you. It’s just right now I don’t know how to feel about what happened yesterday. This is why I had said we should had waited for a few years to see how we really felt. I’m sorry if this hurts you. I’m just being honest with my feelings. That’s one thing I will never do, I will never lie to you about how I feel. I never wanted to hurt you. I can’t stand the thought of more tears running down your beautiful face.
With me going to college today what we need is time. Time to sort out who we are and what we’re really feeling. What I’m saying, what I’m feeling, what I want to be clear about, we need to break up. When I come back next summer we’ll talk. We can see what we feel after spending a year apart.
I’m so sorry, Angel, but I think this is all for the best. Don’t think I this means I don’t love you. I love you more then life, you were my first real love and I will never forget that, ever.
Love you, Angel,
Joe
I left my room to find Ash was asleep in the hallway laying on the floor in an awkward position. Her right hand still clutching the necklace I gave her. I picked her up and carried her to her room, laying her down in her bed. I pulled the covers over her and placed the note in her hand left curling her fingers around it. I hoped it would still be there when she woke up. I left her room trying to fight back my own tears. I didn’t know it would be 3 years until I would see her again. I wouldn’t see her again until I was standing at the wedding alter under a canopy of trees, holding Abby’s hand.

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