Being (a sexy little poem

Being

To thought and being

That we are

And we call ourselves complete

And tout ourselves

The whole world is invincible

So who are we

It comes out glib and steady

We are so strong…

What is prevalent

And what do we snub

The being

Is shot through

Being…

That which we need

We say circumstance prevails…

What is the content

And then there is the misery of being

That which we are

Cannot be dormant

The body rises

The eyes cannot see anything

The intensity of being

That which we feel for each other

The inescapable fact of existence

Do we mock it

Do we go other places

There are children…

I pretend

Perhaps there is no such thing

As death

Or… pain

Solving equations

And putting the resolve of others

To the test

The element of destruction

Heavily on the mind

We sweep through like mad scientists

To take…

What strength do I have…

I must go light

The night does not… know me so well

And it is raining

I know myself

I cry

By being…

Cannot go there

It cannot listen

I light a cigarette

The smoke goes in

The lungs poof

And there is no more

My brain is brilliant

There is nothing there

But light

I sit down

This… is the place

Where can I be…

Where can I exist

For myself

I do not know the answer

I need to extend

Or… expand

There is air

I do not know the rest of it

Perhaps…

There is life

In you

That you do not know about

The scientists look carefully at you

You don’t know what to say

You want to be romantic

But they call you a fool

Where are you

A peace reveals itself

In a sexual act

It is on my mind

I cannot keep it away

The peace… goes on

And takes the mind

Where it wants to go

I be

That I am

You enter a deep sleep

The sleep of being

You are whole

You can feel your whole body

I circle

Everything is feeling good

I walk

I do… things

It all makes sense

That is being

When you are in touch with yourself

It doesn’t have to be…

Anything in particular

You are just happy

Shot through the heart

The killer is present

He includes… his indifference

You want to take him

And shake him

There goes the rain

It is pouring

There is blood

Everything seems to shut off

Where do you go

***

The state of being

The sun comes out

Everything is

Clear

Clean

And suspect…

You look at the self

There are things to discuss

The heart beats

You are excited

What did the world do to you

It is just the… world

What can it do to you

You are not invincible

There is a murderer

He takes your mind

You get

Lost

Where can you go

The street opens up

There are sidewalks

And traffic lights

You are

Subdued

It is kept to yourself

The… end is speaking

Do you want to hear it

Nothing changes

Nothing

The… wonderment

There is music to listen to

The notes inundate you

Your… being

You are saying

Everything

The storm knits closed

There are sprinkles

In your mind

You are obsolete

The world is so beautiful…

And then there is a sudden quiet

You have taken

What you can

And there you go…

We speak

What are you saying

What are you saying…

The world explodes

In venom and jealousy

Man calls it subterfuge

Or there is…

An angle

And there is celebration

Technology

What comes next

…You do not want to go

And there we all sit

Dissatisfied

And saying we could have done better

It is ten o’clock

I have to go to my mother

I am small

Something insignificant

The words cannot reach me

We are other

Meaning…

That we are there

Where we want to be

It is happiness

It keeps us

How did we get consumed

What happened to the information

People look for food

They can find none

Unless…

They cannot ask

In being we are

And as existence stands to reason

We must battle

With what may be

Wrong

Tired of the cigarettes

The rain has begun again

It is the madhouse tonight

I go

In

Good company

None of us like them

The people running the place

In being we are

What we want

Or need… to be

There is comfort

A way out

But it must be a place…

For one thing

And it is a state of mind

A relaxed and confident

Way to look at things

There are raindrops…

Someone is cooking me breakfast

In the kitchen

I don’t know… whose house it is

I become forlorn

I am not… far away

Then… things begin to escape me

I cannot say

I go look at the rain

Perhaps I can have another cigarette

Eggs and potatoes

I grip her backside

She is not moving

I try to imagine it

All of it

There is nowhere else to go

I have seen things

I have not always liked them

I need a place to be

Where I will be what I am

It is hard to find

She does not move…

I say she is beautiful

She does not look at me

I have not… removed my hand

She goes over my body with her hands

I am… in my mind

And giving all I can

To her

I tell her she needs love

And come to rest

She holds my head

And massages my scalp

My hair…

I am falling apart

She is in my mind

I do not move

I talk…

Nothing is said

I have been tired

I have not… known what I have been doing

So it is expensive

And my body feels it

Do what you can

Love… what you can

She relents

And looks at me

With loving eyes

She has been lonely

Too

We sing with love

I want to say something

And murmur that she is pretty

There is that smile

She wants… to confide in me

And even

That this place

Is not what she was

Looking… for

There we are

We hold each other

On a surface

Not moving

She tells me something funny

And there is laughter

We are… there

A place to be

For only a little while

I have been touching her

Holding her parts

That need her

I hold her steady

And there is nothing

I go away

What did I do

There… she is

I am gone

***

In being

That which we see

We implore

God

That it is removed

It is such a sight

That movement

We move to it

And it does not keep us

Happy

Men and women pass

By… each other

We need each other so much

But the world wants…

Our solemnity

It wants so much

We cannot creep about

That is what we are doing

What am I going to do today

Perhaps I will have a massage

Her name is Lin Lin

I will remember her

She is older than me

But her hands are accurate

She fills my mind

And I wait outside

Longing…

To go inside

There we are

It is dark

My brother arrives home…

It is business

I cannot go

There are things to do

What… shall we end up with

I go to greet him

My mother is coming… soon

In being

You have to find a place

Away from most everyone

Even family

That is your… place here

That is the way I look at it

What is a woman

Or something… that loves you

You can never let go

It is eggs with chorizo

And potatoes…

Hmm

It was good

I really have to be going

***

Being… gives you shelter

By now the rain has stopped

What do I need… to do

There is much

To have

The world opens up

What do we find ourselves

Being

There is no shelter

For us to exist in

In being… we relinquish

Property

We give it freedom

There are stories…

I bend

And wish it would rain again

I wish I was having a massage

There is nothing

But a feeling that

Eternity

Will not end…

What does it leave us

I am so sad

There is nothing left in me to give

I do not… want to go back to the madhouse

It seems to be… gone

Now

I relent

And say something sweet

Can I be reasoned with

Probably not

And they call me wild

There is a little mirth left in me

I tried too hard

And they go

…Away

Wild

The smell

I… like it

That we steam away

And there is that smell

I don’t know where I am

A sense of being

Enters me

To stay

Perhaps I will never heal again

It is beginning to sound better and better

I go gently and delicately along

My arms

They are old now

But I can hold a woman

There is nothing to it

Can she… hold onto me

I hope so

I need her to

Because I am entering a world

That I do not want to know

The belonging…

That is what I will call it

Can it come and get me

Do… I want it to get me

I like to be left alone

But it is all coming together

In it’s own… way

I am not ready for it

And declare a mistrust…

Where do we go

I have not even begun yet

I go on

Forever now

Because I am always going somewhere

Even if I am angry

I don’t get violent

I have not seen that yet

I know it… in people

I do not trust them

Too many times I am right

I do not enter… her

She is waiting for me

Expectant

I want a woman to be pregnant

It is realization

Of who you are

Or… being

I ask her something

She is mad at me now

I ignore her

And wait

I am always waiting

Because

Because… I need to

I am making sure of tricks

And I do not want time to be wasted

So we wait around

I enter her

She shivers

I lie with her

I do not see her again

She was… what I wanted

I can’t get used to it

We writhe

It makes it silly…

We are laughing

Just a short time

Together

Then

She stands up

And watches me

We will take our time

I don’t know why she changed position

Perhaps it was not that

It was

Because it was too loud

In her

And she wanted all… of me

For a long time

I do not grow dim

Or soft…

Being

In the way of it

That says we are to be complete

In the moment

With

One another

We are there

And we share

Our bodies

Make noises

To tell… each other

The music is soft

And the walls are blank

White…

I don’t know what to make of them

And then I see her

Her moving torso

And her heavy legs

They go around me

I say…

What can I say

Being

In that we are…

Together

It is a dream

And the feeling

Is soft

I convulse

My body needs to do it

It is all we are thinking of

What our bodies need

We come together

It is wet

And hard

There is softness

In her self

We go brittle

And the skin

Shivers

We glisten

And go on

We are a long time there

My… body will want something different

With her

I am always thinking of children

And… I want them with her

I do not stop

I have a duty to it

It is wild

Because we have been wanting

…It

Now it is sudden

I… move away

Ask her to come and smoke with me

She will come and watch me

The rain…

It is all wet outside

Like her inside

I watch and smoke

We try… not to speak

We kiss

It is done

People do that

In being of the moment

What can you say to the moon

You… choose God

He is watching

He wants to know…

What you think

So do not talk

To him

He goes away

I think… I understand him

A child

That would be a fortunate thing

Can I get to it

I tell her that from now on

We will make love with

No… precautions

She asks if I want a child

I am looking for one

We start out there

In the outside

There are caresses

There are things… that

Show that you care about each other

She is not shy

Or negligent

She is mean

And thirsty…

***

There is a thump

I can feel her bones

Through my skin

I glide over them

The skin…

Being in the trust of another

I take no chances

And ask what does she want

“Children…”

I know I am with someone

That I will… love

I have seen her before

I walked through the door

What did she say

There was a smile

And words

It is getting rapid

I don’t know where my brother is

I do not want to know

I have eaten… the food

There was the outside

We are in the kitchen

Using… tools

My hands are warm

My mind…

I need it to be accurate

It is just enough

It is just enough

The rhythm begins to tell me

I withdraw

We go rest

There is war on

Everywhere

It is all about murderers

And murder…

The completion of which

They never say

We are the impudent

We do not want them around

They can just leave

I am outside

Looking at the pools

Of blood

It rained

There was too much

I should go back to her

And continue

No

Wrong

What is wrong…

I do not say anymore

There are people with their lives

They do not speak about it

They mention…

The money they make

And the hours that they work

They complain

But do not release any real feeling into it

It just is

And that… is

And it could be

But being… tells us

To be accurate

To try to be there… all the time

I find her again

And start from the beginning

I make her coffee

I like coffee

We are both naked

I put on a t-shirt

She puts on a dress

I feel her body through the dress

But it is a tenuous caress

It will not be ready for a long time

It is all about desire

Satisfaction is secondary

Love is desire

Of being

To be

With

Her…

As she is

Or wants… to be

Often you need certain things

In… sex

We complete our needs

I need everything today

A child… is important

And there will be that next time

I need to impress

Sex

It is love and passion

We enter onto new things… for both of us

And laugh… and

…Capitulate

It is on us

There is pounding

Thumping

Do we want to stop

Take a break

Unnerve each other

I cum

It was worth it

I don’t know where she is…

With

It

And I do not help

She is a woman

She thanks me

And the massage

Had… a happy ending

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