The grandfather clocked chimed two o’clock in the morning, but all the rest of the world was quiet. Normally I could sleep through the clock’s annoying chimes, but on this particular night it woke me up. I laid there listening to the pendulum as it swung back and forth and prayed that I would fall back asleep. 5:00 a.m. was going to come sooner than I wanted it to, and dragging me out of bed would be even worse if I didn’t get more sleep.
I pulled the throw blanket up under my chin and rolled over in frustration onto my side to face the TV. I had shut it off hours ago in my sleep, but now the silence was deafening. I grabbed the remote off the coffee table, got more comfortable on the couch, and turned the television back on hoping that some late night infomercial would bore me to sleep. Some Billy Mays wannabe rambled on about tins that make tortillas into taco bowls and I slowly drifted off back to sleep.
I never heard the glass shatter on the back door, or the footsteps on the hardwood floor as they made their way over to me. Suddenly, I couldn’t breathe and I woke up trying to gasp for air. I tasted leather before I even realized what was happening, but found I couldn’t scream. The strong hang clamped my mouth shut and blocked my nostrils. Struggling, I tried to take a breath as I fought against whoever it was covering my mouth. The hand slid down slightly, still keeping my mouth covered, and I was finally able to breathe. I inhaled deeply through my nose and tried to get my bearings. The TV had been shut off, but the night light in the adjoining hallway gave off enough illumination for me to make out a tall, manly figure dressed completely in black standing over me.
He leaned down close, his breath sending chills down my spine when he spoke.
“You try to scream, bitch, and I’ll cut your throat,” he growled into my ear with his raspy voice. I felt the sharp point of a knife against my throat and I nodded slowly in reply, hoping to prevent any sudden actions from occurring with his cutting hand. With fearful eyes, I stared up at his dark figure wondering what his intentions were and why he had chosen my house as his target.
“Roll over on your stomach. Now!” he commanded, and I did as I was told. I buried my face into the couch pillows and fought back the tears as wave after wave of fear ran through me. I felt my heart racing in my throat, and I began gasping for air—the inevitable panic attack sitting on the brink of rearing its ugly head.
With brute force, he grabbed my left arm and pulled it behind me, pressing it down against my back as he reached for the other arm. It wasn’t long before he had me pinned face down on the couch; his sheer weight holding me in place as he bound my wrists together with what I assumed was parachute cord.
“Good girl,” he chided, obviously enjoying the control he had over me. I thought about screaming, but knew that it would be a futile effort. There wasn’t a chance in hell that any of my neighbors would even hear me at this late hour. What time was it anyway? I hadn’t heard the clock chime since I woke up, or maybe I just hadn’t paid attention.
Large, domineering hands grabbed my wrists and I was yanked to my feet, the throw blanket falling to the floor around them. Spinning me around, he threw me down face first on the hard coffee table lengthwise and I felt my shorts being ripped down around my ankles. Why had I chosen this to be the one night I didn’t wear underwear to bed? I heard the sound of a zipper and I froze. I knew what was coming next and I fought back the tears. My childhood nightmare was happening all over again, and once again I was helpless to stop it. With a few looks towards the heavens, I said a silent prayer and prayed for this to be over soon. For the first time in my life, I was extremely grateful I had started taking birth control only a few months prior.
The leather covered hands grabbed me by my hips and my ass was pulled upward. With a quick, hard thrust, he tried pushing himself into me, not caring about the fact that I was not wet. With his cock, he jammed into my pussy over and over, little by little, until he was able to slide the whole length in. Unwillingly, I had begun to get wet, and I felt myself starting to get pissed. I was determined to not show any reaction to his actions and give him any satisfaction.
“Damn you have a fucking tight pussy,” he said through gritted teeth as he drove his cock deep into me. He grabbed my ass cheek with his left hand and squeezed—hard.
My breasts slid against the grain of the table as he drove into me over and over, and my nipples began to get raw. The pain set in, and I clenched my jaw, wanting to scream out but I knew that doing so would only bring the knife back into the picture. My life may not have been perfect, but dying this way was not something I was willing to settle for.
“Do you like it when I fuck you like this?” He yanked me back against him and held me there, the tip of his cock pressing against my inner walls. I heard him mumble “oh, fuck!” under his breath before pushing me back off him.
“I’m going to doggy fuck you like the bitch you are! How do you like that, whore?” He grunted a few times, his dick still pounding my pussy like there was no tomorrow, each thrust an obvious show of his command over me. The first tear fell and I felt ashamed. Six years old was the last time I had let anyone have this much control over me, but it was different back then. My rapist had been overpowering, using his size to control me because he was 16 and much bigger than me. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out the memories and to ignore what was happening to me now.
I felt myself being lifted off the table by my wrists and I winced from the pain. The cord was cutting into my skin and I was almost certain I was bleeding. I winced, not meaning for it to come out as loud as it did.
“Quit your whining and get on your knees!” He barked the orders at me like a drill sergeant and I complied, the pointy blade of the knife glistening in my peripheral vision.
His gloved hand found its way into my hair and he pulled my head towards his dick.
“Suck it,” he ordered, and I opened my mouth to take him in. I thought about biting him—hard—but refrained. For all I know, this creep would like that, and wouldn’t that just be my luck. Knowing that the only way for this nightmare to end was to do as I was told, I went to work on his cock.
He fit perfectly into my mouth, and I felt the shame come back again. Sucking cock was one of my favorite things to do, and under different circumstances I could see where this would have been enjoyable. I ran my tongue around the ridge of his head, and then sucked him in deep. I heard him groan in apparent delight and I continued sliding my lips tightly down his shaft, making it slick with my hot saliva. I closed my eyes and pretended he was someone else, anyone but my rapist, in the hopes that I would forget about the fact that I was doing this to save my own life.
His hands grabbed my hair hard and he yanked my head backwards and the pain caused me to stop. With force, he pushed his cock farther into my mouth and throat as if it were a silent command to not stop what I was doing. With a steady rhythm, he started pushing himself in and out of my mouth, little by little going farther and farther in until I was practically choking on the wholeness of him.
“Fuck yeah,” he mumbled under his breath, his rhythm increasing as he neared ejaculation. I felt him swell up in my mouth, warm spurts of pre-cum dripping down the back of my throat. He tasted sweet, and I flashbacked to an old lover and how he tasted.
More hair gripping and yanking.
I fought back the stinging in my eyes and kept on sucking. The sooner I got him off, the sooner this would all be over, I prayed. Suddenly, he stopped moving and pushed my mouth all the way down to the base of his cock. The tiny hairs on his ball sack tickled my nose as he held me there. Hot blasts of cum shot down my throat as he released his first load. I didn’t have to look to know his head was thrown back as he basked in the enjoyment of what he was doing. I concentrated hard on not gagging as he kept me and my lips locked around his dick. When the last drop had been released, he grabbed my hair and yanked me back to my feet.
I struggled to stand up; not realizing my legs had fallen asleep and he held me up. My body fell against him, and for the first time I realized just how big and strong he really was. He felt almost familiar. His shoulders were broad, but his waist narrow. I could feel the muscles beneath the black shirt he was wearing as my cheek pressed against him. I stored away as much of a visual memory as I could for later, knowing the police would want every detail I could give them.
“Bedroom. Now!” he commanded, and I led the way. I went to turn on the light, but his hand covered mine before I could get the switch turned on.
“Don’t even think about it,” he muttered into my neck, his breath sending an eerie chill through my core.
He pushed me onto the bed and I landed on my side. I struggled to roll onto my back, but my tied hands made it difficult. The perpetrator grabbed my shoulders and rolled me over, straddling me and pinning me down with his weight. Without the light from the night light, his figure seemed even scarier and more domineering than before.
He grabbed the front of my t-shirt and ripped it open, exposing my breasts. Leaning forward, he cupped my breast with one of his hands, took a nipple between his lips and sucked on it till the tiny pink bud turned hard beneath the warmth of his tongue. The wetness between my legs increased, and I cursed silently under my breath. With his free hand, he found his way lower and parted my legs. Using his fingers, he teased my clit before sliding them deep inside.
“You’re fucking wet as hell. You can’t deny it…you like this.”
“Fuck you!” I spat back at him. “Not a chance in hell.”
“Oh, I don’t know, Sugar,” he answered back, “you’re pussy doesn’t lie. It likes what I’m doing.”
I clenched my fists behind me and wished that they were free so I could reach up and punch him square in his kisser.
“It’s an involuntary response, trust me,” I quipped through clenched teeth. It was true. I didn’t want this…any of this. There was only one man I wanted, but he was out of my reach; the silver band around his finger sealing my fate.
“Well then, you close your eyes and pretend I’m whoever you want me to be, because this little ride is about to get a whole lot more exciting.”
He squeezed my breast as he jammed his fingers into me even deeper. I closed my eyes and did as I was told…I thought of Evan and the last time we had slept together before telling me it was over.
I felt him slide his body up the length of me and I turned my head away. There was no way this bastard was going to kiss me. Not a chance in fucking hell would I give him the satisfaction.
“Heart,” he whispered into my ear, and I froze.
There was no way. It couldn’t be.
“Evan!” I exclaimed, my heart racing for a different reason.
Heart was our code word…our safe word. I had told him long ago about my fantasy of being raped to help me deal with what had happened to me as a child. I had wanted to associate rape with something less frightening and more of a turn-on.
“Hello, Sugar,” he whispered. “Sorry about the t-shirt.”
“You asshole!” I exclaimed through a huge smile. I couldn’t believe he had remembered what I told him, or our safe word. It had been months since we talked about it.
He climbed off me, rolled me over and untied me. He reached over and turned on the bedside lamp and for the first time I was able to see it was really him.
“Miss me?” he grinned, his perfect smile melting me.
“You have no idea.” Not a day had gone by that I hadn’t thought of him and the last time we had made love.
“Probably about as much as I missed you.” He leaned over, his mouth covering mine in a savory kiss. The spot between my legs where his fingers had just been tingled and I ached for him to be inside me again.
As if reading my mind, he began to undress, his pants falling to the floor in a heap with his shirt following shortly after.
He lay down beside me on the bed and pulled me on top of him.
“Now it’s your turn to be in control.” He grabbed my hands and pulled them to his chest. I straddled him carefully, and leaned forward giving him a soft kiss.
“Anything I want?” I asked, a devilish smile creeping onto my lips. He nodded in reply as his hands slowly slide around my waist and cupped my ass, his erection already evident between my legs.
I lifted my hips up and started slowly sliding up and down his cock, my wetness making him slick, before pausing at his tip. Using my pussy, I guided his cock head into my wet hole slowly, letting the sensation sink in before sliding the rest of the way onto him. He groaned in pleasure and pulled me down tightly around him by my waist. Without the fear and trepidation, it felt amazing to have him in me.
I slid up and down his cock slowly and listened to the sounds of pure wetness as pelvis met pelvis repeatedly. I could tell I was wetter than I had ever been before as it dripped down between the two of us. The smell of sex lingered in the air as our juices combines between us.
He pushed up against me, groaning in delight, and I quickened my pace. Grabbing his hands with my own, I held on tight, using him to hold me up. I leaned back, letting him hit my g-spot as we fucked each other hard.
“Oh shit, Evan! You feel fucking amazing,” I purred at him, desperately trying to take him in deeper. I ground against him, purposely trying to drive him insane with pleasure.
“Oh fuck!” He dug his hands into my ass and pulled me down tighter, holding me in place. I fought against him, not wanting him to stop so I could feel him cum in me.
“Cum for me, baby,” I pleaded as I rode him hard. I slammed my wet, dripping pussy down onto his cock with a fervor I had never had before. His cock started convulsing and I knew he was close.
“Oh god, I’m going to cum, baby. I’m cumming!” He squeezed his eyes tight, tilted his back, and drove himself up into me forcefully, as his hot cum escaped his cock and filled me. It took only a matter of moments before I followed suit, my pussy contracting around him as I came.
When it was over, we sat still for a few moments, neither of us wanting to move as he stayed buried deep inside me.
“Wow!” was all either of us could say. I laid my head down on his chest and listened to him slowly fall asleep, his cock still nestled deep inside me. It was a perfect way to start the day.
I smiled and dozed off, happy and content. It was a rape I would never forget.
Ever.

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