Slingshot Bill-part one
Introduction:
Bill Tinker relate how he acquired lots of wives in late 19th century Texas.
I lived with my ma an’ pa an’ my two sisters miles from anythinâ civilized tryinâ to scratch out a livinâ. My pa failed in everything he tried includinâ farminâ an’ ranchinâ but him an’ ma wuz never bitter an’ we wuz a fairly happy family even if we wuz dirt poor.
That happiness come to an end one day when I come home from my huntinâ. Ma an’ Pa wuz layinâ face down in the dirt in front of our cabin. My twin sister Beth an’ my older sister Philomena wuz kneelinâ beside the bodies lookinâ kinda dazed. Even from where I wuz standinâ I could tell our folks wuz dead.
âWhat happened?â I said when I run up to them. Philomena shrugged her shoulders.
âWe wuz out doinâ chores when we heard gunshots. We come runninâ but stopped when we heard strange menâs voices an’ Ma screaminâ. We wuz too scared.â I could understand that. I nodded for her to go on.
âAfter a while two men rode away on their horses. They wuz just plain old horses.â
âDid you see what they looked like?â
âIt wuz too far away.â
âWhat did you see, Beth?â My twin sister had eyesight an eagle would envy.
âThe horses wuz a chestnut an’ a big black. One manâs hat had a fancy hat band. Thatâs all except I seen that one of the horses has a notch in its shoe.â She pointed at the shoe print that I wouldn’t a noticed. Beth had a talent to see the little things but that wuznât goinâ to help us. For one thing, there wuznât no way I could chase after them galoots. We had one old swayback nag. I could walk faster than it could run.
There wuz nothing left to do but bury our folks. I dug a hole an’ we buried them together. I noticed when I wuz movinâ their bodies that both wuz shot in the chest. Maâs dress wuz tore up to her privates so it looked like they raped her before killinâ her. I wuz shore glad my sisters wuznât there when those men come. I had a feelinâ Iâd be buryin’ them too. Well, we buried Ma an’ Pa an’ then we all had our cries.
We went into the cabin an’ noticed everythinâ had been gone through. Paâs Winchester Model 73 repeatinâ rifle an’ a can we kept a little money in wuz the only things taken. They wuz the only things worth takinâ. The Winchester wuz for protection but Pa failed at that too. We slept poorly that night.
The next morninâ I decided to take the girls into the nearest town of Hand Springs. Ma had a friend livinâ there who offered to take the girls in an’ introduce them into society an’ try to git them married off. Philomena wuz goinâ on 14 an’ I didnât want no old maid on my hands. I hitched up the swayback to the buckboard an’ we started out.
We wuznât even half way there afore the swayback up an’ died on us. I guess the strain wuz too much for her. Weâd have to walk the rest of the way. We hadnât covered more than a mile when a rancher overtook us in his buckboard an’ offered to take us the rest of the way into town. His name wuz Mister Kincaid. I thanked Mister Kincaid mightily an’ told him he could have our buckboard in payment but he said it wuznât necessary an’ heâd have it hauled to his ranch so I could pick it up when I got another horse.
When we got into town we met up with Missus Brown, my maâs friend, an’ explained the situation. Missus Brown said she wuz right sorry to hear about our folks an’ sheâd be glad to take in my sisters. In payment theyâd help out in the emporium her husband owned an’ âround the house. She didnât offer to let me stay an’ I wouldn’t a âcepted even if she had. Even though there wuznât nothinâ to go back to, big towns make me feel sorta cramped. There had to be nigh onto a thousand people livinâ there. Besides, I wanted to try to make sumthinâ out of the place our folks died tryinâ to protect or they wuz dead for nothinâ.
I stayed the night an’ thanked Missus Brown for her hospitality. I set out for home on foot. It took most of the day to git to the fork in the road leadinâ to my cabin. I wuz sittinâ down to rest when I heard gunshots an’ a woman screaminâ. It wuznât far an’ I sneaked up careful like to see what wuz goin on.
I saw a wagon an’ two mules. A colored man wuz layinâ on the ground bleedinâ bad an’ this colored gal wuz beinâ tied up by two men but I couldnât see much else âcause their horses wuz in the way. I likened it to what happened to my folks an’ got all riled up but I had more sense than to go up against two armed hombres with just a slingshot an’ a skinninâ knife.
I took a couple of pebbles an’ hit the horses on their rumps with my slingshot real quick like. Naturally the horses got spooked an’ took off runninâ. The two men cursed mightily an’ took out after âem. Thatâs when I saw one galoot had a fancy hatband. Could it be? One horse wuz a chestnut an’ the other a black. I sneaked up to where the horses had stood an’ studied their tracks. One had a shoe print that matched the one at the cabin. Those two galoots wuz goinâ to die even if I had to die doinâ it.
The colored man wuz dead when I checked him. I approached the gal an’ she shied away when I pulled my knife but it wuz only to cut the rope which had her tied to the wagon wheel. Thatâs when I seen two colored girls âbout my age tied back to back. I cut them loose too.
âHeâs dead, ainât he,â said the gal.
âIâm sorry but he is maâam. Now you got to do what I say or you an’ your youngns is gonna be the same way.â She nodded. I sent âem down a hidden dirt path that none but me an’ my sisters knowed about. It eventually led to the cabin. I set up my ambush for the two galoots.
The stones I had layinâ âround wuz good for small game but they wuznât gonna kill no full growed man. I had to hurt âem bad with my first two shots, one for each of âem âcause I wuznât gonna git no second chance if I missed. Them two men came ridinâ up a few minutes later.
âThe nigger gals got away,â said one. âDonât you know how to tie a knot?â
âI tied âem good,â said the other one. âThey wonât git far.â Thatâs when I shot the one farther from me. The rock hit him dead center in his eye socket. He screamed in pain an’ grabbed at his eye which wuz spurtinâ blood. He wuz gonna be blind in that eye if I let him live but I wuznât gonna do that.
The nearest galoot pulled his pistol an’ turned to his pardner to see what the fuss wuz âbout an’ I loaded up another rock. As soon as he turned around I fired. The stone hit him on the bridge of his nose most likely breakinâ it cuz he screamed too an’ started shootinâ his pistol every which way but I wuz hunkered down an’ he couldnât see me. The shooting stopped an’ I figured he had to reload so I risked a look from my hidinâ place. His eyes wuz almost swollen shut. He wuz gonna be blinder than his pardner in a few minutes.
The one I hit first finally pulled his pistol an’ started firinâ just to fire an’ he wound up shooting his pardner dead. One down an’ one to go. The last galoot wuz off his horse an’ gropinâ âround so I just kept pepperinâ with him with rocks til he went plum loco. He started bawlinâ an’ cursinâ whoever wuz doinâ this to him an’ begginâ for mercy. Well, I didnât have no mercy handy an’ kept torturin’ him with rocks I kept shootinâ at âim with my slingshot. Finally the galoot turned his pistol on his self an’ that wuz the end of him.
âThank you,â said a voice behind me which liked to scare me to death. It wuz the colored gal.
âYou were supposed to be away from here.â
âAh sent de girls on,â she replied. âAh couldnât leave mah husbinâ no matter what happened.â I wuz akchully glad she wuz there to help. She helped me load her husbandâs body into the wagon. I looted the galootsâ bodies an’ then pushed them off the road. The varmints could have âem. I noticed a Winchester settinâ in a rifle scabbard. I checked the stock for markins. It wuz Paâs. I tied their horses to the back of the wagon an’ then drove the wagon to the cabin. Her daughters wuz waitin there.
I got out the shovel an’ dug a grave for the colored man besides my folkâs grave. I donât think they minded. I smelled cookinâ while I wuz digginâ an’ I wuz glad for that. It wuz coffee an’ beans from their own supply an’ I throwed in rabbit jerky so it wuz a pretty good supper.
We gathered âround the graves an’ they said prayers an’ sang bible songs. It wuz beautiful. They cried some an’ that got me to cryinâ again for Ma an’ Pa. I then fed the horses an’ mules from what wuz left of the swaybackâs feed. It wuz a long day an’ I wuz ready to turn in but I saw the women settlinâ down outside. It can git pretty cold at night in Texas so I told âem there wuz plenty of room inside. The colored gal looked surprised but she didnât say nuthinâ agin it. I put all three in my folkâs bed. I lay down in my own bed. Thatâs the last I remember ’til morninâ.
I finely learned their names the next morning. Hannah wuz her name. The daughters wuz Faith, 13 an’ Hope, 11. Her dead husbandâs name wuz Wally. They were on their way to a new life out west but it wuznât to be. We talked for a while an’ then I went out to see to the livestock. Then I began to go through the galootsâ saddle bags. I got real interested first thing when I saw wanted posters for the two galoots. They must have had them as keepsakes. I realized I had to git there bodies into town to claim the rewards. They wuz worth $250 each.
I asked Hannah if I could borrow her rig an’ help me git the bodies. She said she wuznât ready to go anywheres soon. The two galootâs faces still looked like their faces on the posters when we loaded them up. I drove the wagon into town an’ the sheriffâs office.
Well, donât let a body tell you that you bring in a wanted man or his body an’ they just hand you the reward money. I wuz told there wuz sumthinâ called bureaucracy an’ it would take at least two weeks for me to git the money. Well, I didnât like that at all. I needed the money now. The sheriff wuz sorry for me an’ he took me to the bank an’ vouched that I wuz goinâ to git $500. Well, the bank offered me $450 an’ they would keep the reward money when it come. I thought a $50 fee wuz kinda steep but beggers canât be choozers so I took the deal. Then the sheriff charged me for the galoots burial costs. I didnât like that either an’ offered to take the bodies out of town for the varmints to feast on. The sheriff said no an’ that they deserved a burial no matter how bad they wuz in life. My poke wuz gettinâ smaller an’ smaller. I decided to git out of town while the gettinâ wuz good. I bought some feed an’ supplies an’ headed out of there. I didnât bother to try an’ see my sisters.
When I got home I got a supprise. Hannah an’ her daughters had cleaned the place up. I thought Ma wuz pretty good keepinâ house but Hannah wuz better. After supper I give her some money an’ asked her what her plans wuz. She handed back the money.
âI ainât got no place to go to now anâ no place to go back to. We might as well stay here if youâll have us.â I wuz surprised. She wanted to stay here?
âWe kin cook, clean, do other chores an’ take care of yo manly needs too.â I wuz surprised again cuz I knowed what she wuz offerinâ. My prick got thick in my breeches.
âYou ever be with a woman?â I shook my head.
âAfter tonight, you wonât want no other woman âcept me lessin it be Faith or Hope.â I realized I had a harem jest like those Mormons. That night I wuz layinâ twixt Hannahâs legs gettingâ my first lessons in fuckinâ a woman. We didnât pertend like it wuz love. Hannah lost her man an’ she needed another quick like to protect her an’ her daughters, a story as old as mankind. All three women wuz easy on the eyes an’ I had no doubt that Iâd be layinâ twixt Faithâs an’ Hopeâs legs right soon. I musta seeded Hannah three times before I turned over an’ went to sleep.
A coupla days later I decided to go git the buckboard Mister Kincaid, the rancher that helped us, wuz holdinâ for me. I had the use of Hannahâs wagon but I knowed itâd be better to git mine just in case Hannah changed her mind an’ wanted to leave. I hoped not. I wuz fuckinâ her every night now an’ really enjoyinâ it. I even kissed her once. She smiled an’ kissed me back. I wondered if I wuz gettingâ love feelins for her.
I brought out the mule team an’ one of the horses, a beautiful stallion. It come with a Mexican saddle that musta cost a fortune covered with fancy leather an’ silver. I strapped on the hogâs leg I got from one of the men I kilt, a long-barreled single action six shooter. I led the mule team out to the manâs ranch. I expected a friendly greeting but I got anything but that. A group of Mexicans wuz talkinâ to Mister Kincaid an’ when they saw me they all drew their guns an’ pointed them at me.
âYouâre going to die,â the oldest of the Mexicans declared. I raised my hands quick like so they wouldnât shoot me right away.
âWhy? Whatâd I do?â
âYou shot my son. That is his horse.â Well, I knowed I wuz goinâ ta die but not before I explained myself.
âIâm sorry that he wuz your son but I ainât sorry I kilt him. He kilt my folks so I kilt him an’ so like I said I ainât sorry for that so do your worst.â The Mexican looked right puzzled an’ Mister Kincaid spoke up.
âHe canât be the one you want, Don Diego. I met this boy an’ his sisters miles from where I found your son. They were on foot after their horse died. Suppose you tell us how you got that horse.â
âI jest did. Can I put my hands down?â Well, the Mexicans put away their guns an’ I wuz feelinâ less scared. I told âem again what happened but added more to it an’ then of a sudden I wuz a hero. It turned out that one of the galoots had shot his son an’ stole his horse. His son didnât die but wuz recuperatinâ in the ranch house. Don Diego wuz mighty glad I kilt the galoot that shot his son an’ got the stallion back. He wuz the sonâs favorite horse an’ a champion stud besides. They gimme another horse with a western saddle, $100 an’ loaded up my buckboard with more feed an’ supplies. I also made some friends for life. Still, I wuz right sorry to lose that stallion an’ that Mexican saddle.
A month later Hannah told me she missed her monthlies an’ she wuz feelinâ poorly every morninâ. I asked her what that meant. She smiled an’ told me I wuz goinâ to be a daddy.
âDonât go wastinâ yo seed on me for a while. It ainât gonna do you no good. You gonna have ta find somebody else.â Faith wuz standinâ near lookinâ down at the ground but I could see her wearinâ a shy smile.
Well, we didnât waste no time. That night, Hannah switched places with Faith an’ she wuz layinâ neath me just like her mama had. Hannah warned me Faith might bleed her first time so we put an old rag ‘neath her just in case.
âMama tolâ me you up an’ kissed her a time or two.â I allowed that it had happened.
âWill you kiss me when we do it the first time?â
âIâll kiss you every time we do it, Faith.â I kissed her then an’ Faith kissed me back.
âIf ah gives you a son, can ah name him Wally after mah daddy?â
âIf you gimme a son his name will be Wally.â I commenced to fuck her. She shore wuz tighter than her mama but I had just as much pleasure from her body. I seeded her three times before I got tired. Three times seemed to be my limit for any one night.
âAh loves you, Bill,â whispered Faith after we finished fuckinâ for the night. âAh wish ah could be yo wife.â I wouldn’t a minded except there seemed to be some people in Texas that said white people an’ colored people shouldnât wed each other. I didnât know their reasoninâ but the people who knowed better than me seemed to think it wuz a good thing.
âIâll always think of you as my wife, Faith.â With that we went to sleep.
I had a mind to add more room to the cabin with the extra money I had. It wuz just one room now an’ I wanted some privacy especially when I wuz fuckinâ. There wuz a baby cominâ too an’ maybe more so I wanted to be prepared. I also wanted to make the corral bigger, maybe put up a barn an’ more fences. It wuz still unclaimed land all around us so Iâd go ahead an’ claim it. I knowed it wuz big plans but I wuz thinkinâ in years. I drew up some plans an’ showed em to Hannah. She knowed some things about building I didnât an’ helped me make some changes. I made a list of things I needed to git started an’ took the buckboard into Hand Springs to buy em.
I stopped by Mister Brownâs emporium an’ saw Philomena an’ Beth workin there. We wuz right happy to see each other. Missus Brown wuz there too but she seemed less glad to see me. Beth wuznât sayinâ much but since we are twins it seems like we can talk to each other without really talkinâ. She wuz tellinâ me sumthinâ wuz terrible wrong.
âMay I take you ladies to lunch?â I said.
âThatâs not possible,â said Missus Brown. âWe are very busy today.â I looked round an’ didnât see nobody else.
âThatâs too bad,â I replied. âBy the by, can you recommend somewheres I can git this order filled an’ they ainât too busy?â She looked at the list an’ her eyes got big.
âYou have the money to pay for all this?â
âYes maâam.â
âYouâll pay now?â
âYes maâam, but I still want to have lunch with my sisters so maybe you an’ Mister Brown can fill this order while we are out. It seems slow right now.â Missus Brown seemed of two minds. She wanted the order but she didnât want my sisters out of her sight. I figured Beth wuz right. Sumthinâ wuz wrong if they wuznât jumpinâ at a big sale. Her greed finely won out. I gave Missus Brown $100 on account an’ took my sisters to a nearby restront.
âWhatâs wrong,â I asked when we sat down an’ wuz waitinâ for our eats.
âEverythinâ,â Beth replied.
âSuppose you start at the start an’ tell me everythinâ.â It seemed that Missus Brown saw my sisters as a burden even with them willinâ to work for their keep. She said it wuz a waste of time to introduce em into society âcause they were not genteel an’ the best they could expect wuz to marry up with a dirt farmer. I asked what genteel wuz an’ she said thatâs what ladies are. That confused me more but I didnât ask for more explaininâ. My sisters didnât have no dowry neither. It turned out a dowry wuz sort of like a bribe to git a genâlman to wed a lady. Heck! Thatâs what I thought a girl used her pussy for.
Anyways, the Browns used my sisters as free labor at the house an’ emporium getting rid of the paid help cuz business beinâ bad on âcount another emporium opened up an’ had lower prices. That didnât help much an’ the Browns wuz gettingâ desperate. A girl that wuz friendly with my sisters warned âem that Missus Brown wuz overheard talkinâ to Missus Magillicuddy an’ my sisterâs names wuz heard mentioned. Money wuz also seen changinâ hands. Missus Magillicuddy turned out to be the whore supplier to the saloons in Hand Springs an’ the owner of a bordello jest outside of town. Philomena an’ Beth knowed they had to leave Hand Springs or be forced to work as whores but now Missus Brown wuz watchinâ ’em like a hawk an’ they were afraid they wuz goinâ to be turned over to Missus Magillicuddy any minute now.
I wuz riled up. As far as I wuz concerned Missus Brown wuz no better than a Judas. I also knowed we couldnât just up an’ leave cuz we wuz probly bein watched now an’ I wuznât prepared for a fight. We talked an’ came up with a excape plan.
I returned my sisters to the emporium like nothinâ wuz wrong. Missus Brown seemed mighty glad to see us back. I thanked her for her hospitality an’ told everybody that I wouldnât be able to see them again before leavinâ town but I would on a return trip. I left to buy some stuff I didnât plan on.
I stopped at the gunsmith first an’ bought more rounds for the pistols an’ the Winchester Model 73. I also bought another Winchester Model 73. Even though I wuz wearinâ iron now Iâd never fired a weapon in anger. Actually, I felt better protected with my slingshot than my six shooter. The gunsmith turned out to be sellinâ .50 caliber lead balls for people who liked to hunt with slingshots. I bought a big box of em. He also sold me red rubber straps for replacinâ on my slingshot as mine wuz gettin wore out.
Philomena an’ Beth had to perpare meals an’ do other chores at the house after workinâ at the emporium. This time the girls added laudanum to their meals to make the Browns an’ their daughter sleep. It worked as we hoped an’ I wuz waitinâ for my sisters when they left the house. The Brown family would prob’ly sleep til morninâ an’ we would be long gone by then.
On the way back I told about my adventures since I left them with Missus Brown includinâ the part âbout killinâ the galoots that killed Ma an’ Pa. They were both excited an’ scared for me but very proud of me too. I also told âem âbout Hannah, Faith an’ Hope an’ Iâd tolerate no disrespect for em cause I considered them my wives now an’ Hannah wuz pregnant with my child.
âDo you want a couple a more wives?â said Philomena. She caressed my hand an’ I near fell off the buckboard. My older sister just kept starinâ ahead an’ smilinâ. I turned an’ looked at Beth. She had to hear what Philomena wuz sayinâ. She wuz ridinâ backwards scanninâ the horizon for pursuers she wuz certain wuz cominâ. She didnât say nothing but she smiled an’ nodded her head. Well, I never considered taking my sisters as my wives. But I figured why not? They were willinâ an’ didnât have no other prospects in sight. They needed a manâs protection an’ they figured I could provide it. Also they had their womanly needs. I just had to figure out how I wuz goinâ to satisfy five wives instead of just three.
By the time we got near the cabin I had convinced myself it wuz the right thing to do. We sealed the bargain with hugs an’ kisses. I now considered Philomena an’ Beth my wives but Iâd have to wait an’ fuck em later to git them used to their wifely duties. I just had to figure out how to explain it to my other wives.
âWe wuz so worried about you,â Hannah said when we arrived. She eyed Philomena an’ Beth nervous like but my sisters introduced themselves right away real friendly an’ made all feel relaxed. They didnât tell them they wuz now my wives neither. They left that chore up to me but it wuz late an’ I wuz tired. I put a bedroll on the floor an’ slept on that. It shore felt crowded in there.
The sun had already up when I opened my eyes again. I wuz alone but I could hear talkinâ outside. I splashed some water on my face. I didnât know the time but I wuz certain I slept the day half away. Chores had to git done. I walked outside an’ Faith rushed up an’ give me a big hug.
âYou never said ah wuz yo wife fo reals.â
âWell, I plain forgot but Iâm sayinâ it now.â
âAnd Mama an’ Hope too?â
âThatâs right.â They wuz both smilinâ so I guess they wuz okay with it.
âAnd Beth an’ Philomena too?â I wuz surprised by what she said.
âYou told âem?â
âWhen wuz you gonna do it, dear husband,â said Philomena.
âWell, uhâ
âThass all right,â said Faith. âMah daddy wuz blood kin to mah mama. We wuz all sposed to keep mum but we canât have no secrets from our husbin, can we, Mama.â
âThass right, baby. Wally wuz mah brotha but a body cainât heâp who he fall in love with.â She looked sad of a sudden an’ I could tell she wuz still mourninâ Wally. Couldnât blame her none. Me an’ my sisters still missed Ma an’ Pa.
âWe should all keep mum âbout this too,â I said. As far as anybody else knowed my sisters wuz still my sisters an’ Hannah wuz a widder woman with two children that I took in as charity. Texas has the nicest people a body ever wants to meet but some things they just donât understand an’ you donât wanna try an’ explain it to em neither cause yer just wastinâ yer breath.
âI suppose you wants a weddinâ night wit each of yo new brides?â Hannah asked. I could tell she wuz teasinâ. I nodded my head while my sisters started blushinâ. Well, I wuz blushinâ a little too. First Philomena since she wuz the older an’ then Beth. After that weâd have to arrange things so nobody got left out.
âWhen do ah git a weddinâ night,â Hope asked.
âI want you to wait til you git yo monthlies, baby. Then Bill can start a big strappin manchild growinâ in yo belly the fuhst night, okay?â
âI donât wanna wait, Bill. Tell Mama itâs all right.â
âI want you to listen to your mama, Hope,â I replied. âIn fact, I want you all to do the same.â They wuz all lisseninâ now. âNaturally, I hope we all git along. But if a diffrence has ta be settled an’ I ainât here then yâall have ta listen to Hannah.â I looked at Hannah direct. âI spect you to be fair an’ donât play favrits.â She wuz older an’ knowed a lot a things I didnât. I wanted her to be a wise advisor an’ mama to all of us, cludinâ me. I think she unnerstood right away.
âAhâll treat everybody just like yâallâs mah children.â That wuz the anser I wuz lookin for.
âWell, I gotta git some chores done.â
âTheyâs all done, sleepyhead âcept fo de game huntinâ an’ itâs too late in da day to do that.â She wuz right. The critters I liked to hunt mostly slept in the day an’ fed at night an’ early morninâ.
âWell, there is one more thing to talk bout an’ thatâs protection.â I talked about how we had to be better prepared to protect ourselves an’ how I wuznât always around to protect my famly. I decided that all the women should be trained in the use of guns an’ knifes. We all knowed âbout Ma, Pa an’ Wally. We also knowed âbout my sistersâ problems in Hand Springs.
I set out to teach them âbout usinâ an’ cleaninâ a gun an’ gun safety but it turned out Beth knowed lots more an’ me. She always wuz pesterinâ pa to show her this an’ show her that an’ he wuz always glad to show her. She wuz a expert shot with the Winchester right off an’ took to the pistol like she wuz born with one in her hand. So Beth became the weapons master an’ I wuz content to practice with my slingshot an’ the new lead balls I got.
We also started measurinâ an’ cuttinâ lumber for the new room of the cabin. By the end of the day I wuz weary but not so weary I didnât want my weddinâ night with Philomena.
When we got in bed with each other we started gigglinâ like we wuz up to mischief an’ any second Ma or Pa wuz goinâ to ask what we wuz up to an’ to settle down. After a while Philomena got quiet an’ started kissinâ me an’ caressinâ me. I learnt from Hannah that kissinâ an’ caressinâ helps git a woman ready for fuckinâ so I wuz glad to return the favor. After a while I mounted my sister/wife an’ started fuckinâ her.
Philomenaâs pussy didnât feel no different than Faithâs pussy or even Hannahâs pussy if it come to comparinâ pussies. I guess the main difference wuz that this wuz my sisterâs pussy an’ I wuz goinâ to try my dangdest to start a baby growinâ in her belly even though people would say itâs agin nature. I ‘spose they’re right but thatâs what my sister an’ me wanted. After seedinâ her Philomena an’ me talked some in low whispers.
âDid you ever âmagine we would be man an’ wife?â
âNot in a million years,â my sister replied. âAfter you told us your adventures though, I realized you wuz the type of man I always dreamed of marryinâ. It wuznât likely Iâd meet such a man in Hand Springs. I knowed youâd never perpose to me so I decided to perpose to you an’ include Beth cuz I knowed she felt the same.â
âI guess itâs lucky I showed or you two might be workinâ for Missus Magillicuddy by now.â
âWe did have escape plans. Beth said we couldnât go home for fear of puttinâ you in danger too. We wuz gonna steal a coupla horses an’ ride to Austin to git lost in the big city. Then we wuz gonna wear menâs clothes, rob stage coaches for a livinâ an’ drink Mexican beer.â
âHorse stealinâ an’ stagecoach robbinâ is hanginâ offenses in Texas.â
âWe knowed that but we also knowed it wuznât likely theyâd hang women for such crimes but we didnât want to spend long years in jail neither. Thatâs why we wuz still thinkin bout it when you showed. Lucky for us.â
âLucky for all of us.â I wuz ready to fuck again so I seeded Philomena twice more before we went to sleep.
My weddinâ night with Beth wuz much the same as my weddinâ night with Philomena. We did a heap of gigglinâ an’ kissinâ an’ caressinâ before we commenced to fuckinâ. Beth told me after that she always had this dream that we would be together for a lifetime. She wuz disappointed when I sent her to Hand Springs an’ thought her fate wuz to wed a man she could never love. When I retrieved Philomena an’ her, Beth said she never wanted to be apart from me again however things turned out an’ sheâd die if I sent her away again. She also said she could never be jealous of the other wives âcuz she felt so much love from all of them. Well, a body couldnât feel much more loved than that. I felt like the luckiest man in all of Texas cuz I had so many lovinâ wives.
Ainât it the case that every time a body stops beinâ cautious somethinâ goes wrong? After not hearing from or âbout Missus Brown or Missus Magillicuddy we kinda relaxed our vigil an’ went back to our routine. We finished the new bedroom an’ I wuz right proud of the job we did. Now I could fuck my wives in private.
I wuz takinâ a break from my chores an’ doinâ some target practice with my slingshot when I seen a two horse carriage cominâ toward us followed by two men on horseback. I had a bad feelinâ âbout this an’ I started toward the cabin where I stored my pistol.
âStay right where you are,â one of the galoots on horseback ordered. Both galoots had their pistols coverinâ me so I stopped an’ raised my hands. I still had my slingshot in my hand but nobody ordered me to drop it so I didnât. I guess they thought it wuz a toy. I wuznât âbout to start nothinâ anyway cuz Hannah, Faith an’ Hope come out when they heard the ruckus. I didnât see Beth or Philomena. Theyâd been âround a few seconds before. Mebbe they wuz hidinâ. I shore hoped so.
The carriage pulled up an’ I could see the driver wuz armed too. In the back sat a fat old gal that dressed fancy an’ looked âbout 5 foot tall. I had a feelinâ her name wuz Missus Magillicuddy. There wuz a medium size dog sittinâ with her.
âAre you Bill Tinker?â
âIâm him.â
âI wish to speak with your sisters.â
âWhat about?â
âMissus Brown signed a contract an’ took money on their behalf which obligates them to work for me for a period of time.â
âYou better git your money back. They ainât gonna be workinâ for ya.â
âIâm not interested in the money, young man. Iâm interested in their services.â
âThey ainât around.â Missus Magillicuddy took sumthinâ out of a bag an’ had the dog sniff it. The dog let out a yelp an’ started whimperinâ.
âHeâs calling you a liar, young man. If they are in listening range Iâd advise them to git out here right now or they will regret it.â Missus Magillicuddy stroked her dogâs head an’ waited for a while. I jest âbout shit when she spoke again.
âEach of you boys git a nigger to do with as you wish. Just be certain one of you has the boy covered.â
âWhynât we jest kill âim an’ git it over with,â said one galoot.
âThatâs a thought. Let me consider it.â I jest stood there helpless an’ cursin my self for not beinâ able to protect my wives an’ puttinâ them in danger. The carriage driver wuz first to take advantage. He started toward Faith but Hannah stepped in front of âim. He stopped an’ it looked like they wuz talkinâ but I couldnât hear nothing said. He turned âround an’ I saw a knife stickinâ out of his belly then he collapsed.
At the same time two shots rang out an’ the two galoots wuz fallinâ out of their saddles. They musta been dead before they hit the ground cuz the backs of their heads wuz shot away. Missus Magillicuddy an’ me stared at each other like we wuz both in shock. Then she pulled a pistol an’ wuz pointinâ it at me an’ I thought I wuz a goner when she pulled the trigger. It must have misfired. Then a lead ball bounced off her forehead. Missus Magillicuddy closed her eyes an’ slumped forward like sheâd gone to sleep but bloody tears begun tricklinâ down her cheeks from âneath her eyelids an’ I figured she wuz prob’ly dead.
I realized the lead ball that kilt Missus Magillicuddy could only come from me. Iâd loaded up my slingshot an’ shot her without a single wakinâ thought. I begun to wake up from my nightmare an’ look âround. Hannah wuz hugginâ Faith an’ Hope. I saw Beth an’ Philomena cominâ out from behind some big rocks each holdinâ a Winchester. They wuz chatterinâ to each other excited like. Soon we wuz all hugginâ each other thankinâ the Creator we wuz all okay.
I praised everybody for keeping level heads specially since they had a idiot for a husbin. Everybody said I wuznât talkinâ sense but I resolved to do better in future. Hannah wuz the only one still frettinâ âcuz she kilt a white man an’ she would be lynched if other people found out. We all told her that nobody here an’ still alive wanted to see her lynched an’ we all swore to take the secret to the grave.
I looted the menâs bodies an’ started digging a big grave. I felt kind of bad for killinâ a woman but I reasoned she tried to kill me first. Still, I wuz kinda shy âbout lootinâ Missus Magillicuddyâs body. The wives wuznât shy though an’ I wuz glad they wuznât. They found more weapons, jewels fit for a queen an’ three money belts. Two of the belts wuz stuffed with greenbacks an’ the other wuz stuffed with double eagles, 20 dollar gold pieces. There wuz over $7,000 in cash not countinâ the jewels. I guessed owning a bordello could be profitable. We set fire to her carriage. Too many people knowed she owned it.
Beth turned out to be the general in charge of defendinâ the fort. She studied the lay of the land an’ decided where to place weapons an’ what to do if we wuz attacked. Philomena practiced shootinâ with Beth an’ did herself proud though she did admit she wuz aiminâ for the manâs back. All the wives had to carry a knife in the folds of her dress an’ that is why Hannah wuz ready for her attacker. I asked Beth why I wuz not included in the planning an’ she said I wuz doinâ too many other things to worry âbout that too but she wuz very sorry Missus Magillicuddy almost shot me.
âI wuz tryinâ to git a clear shot for her too. Honest!â
âI ainât doubtinâ ya. Iâm just glad evrythinâ turned out okay.â I didnât think I could do any better an’ more prob’ly worse with all the other worries I had. I decided to leave everythinâ to General Beth. After all, I realized she got the lionâs share of the brains when they wuz beinâ divvied up between us. Beth wanted me to fuck ’em both that night at the same time. Women are strange creatures.
The dog took to Hope right away. He become her dog an’ she named him Rex cuz we didnât know his other name or if he even had a name. He answered to Rex. Rex loved to hunt cuz he wuz that type of dog. He would flush out game in no time at all so he saved a lot of huntinâ time for me. Speakinâ of Hope, I gave her a weddinâ night soon after my near brush with death. She didnât want anythinâ to happen to me but she wanted it jest in case sumthinâ did happen to me, God forbid. It wuz all right with Hannah.
Missus Magillicuddy vanishinâ wuz all the talk when I wuz next in town but nobody wuz specially worried âbout findinâ her safe an’ sound. The sheriff closed up the bordello. It wuz said he wuznât gettinâ his bribe money no more. Then the bordello reopened âunder new managementâ two days later. The sheriff didnât say nothinâ so I guess he wuz gettinâ his bribe money again.
Faith, Philomena an’ Beth wuz all with child âfore long an’ I felt like the proudest rooster in all Texas. Hannah wuz showinâ a nice round belly. Now I had four babies on the way an’ I realized we needed more room to take care of them. I created a heap more work for my self along with the babies.
I now had plenty of money for all my buildinâ plans but I knowed I should take it a bit at a time. I didnât want nobody to figure out I had lots of money so I bought all the things I needed gradual like. Somebody told me Mister Brown closed his emporium.
We built two more rooms an’ a three holer outhouse (no waitinâ) for the wives so they wood not have to stand out in the weather an’ could sit an’ visit with each other if they wanted. On my next visit to Hand Springs I heard told Mister Brown kilt his self.
We donât git much snow in the winter in our part of Texas but the winds what come blowinâ out of the northern plains can still freeze a body to the bone. Thatâs why I wuz so glad we finished all the buildinâ we planned on time for when the cold winds hit. We built a lean-to as a windbreak for the livestock an’ to keep them dry from the rains. The barn would have to wait until spring.
It wuz too danged cold to go outside this one day so I desided to stay in an’ keep warm at least after the livestock wuz cared for. Thatâs why I wuz surprised when I heard a knock on the door. I never heard a horse or wagon approachinâ. I always wore my iron now so I drew my pistol an’ opened the door slightly. Standinâ out in the freezinâ cold wuz two women, each holdinâ a carpet bag. One of them wuz Missus Brown.
âM-may we come in?â Missus Brown wuz the last varmint on the face of the earth that I never wanted to see but I wuz too confounded to do anything but open the door the rest of the way an’ let them pass. I took a quick look outside an’ didnât see no horses or wagon. How did they git here? I closed the door an’ turned around. They wuz warming them selfs by the pot belly stove we had just got in. Hannah set down a coupla mugs of coffee for them just like they were welcome visitors. I still had not found my voice yet when Philomena came into the parlor. We started callinâ the main room a parlor.
âWhat are you two doinâ here?â she cried.
âThere you are,â said Missus Brown. âI wuz so worried when you suddenly disappeared. Is your sister here too?â
âIâm here,â said Beth who walked in behind Philomena. âYou didnât answer my sisterâs question.â
âLook, Mother,â said the other one. âSheâs pregnant. Theyâre both pregnant.â Well, that answered one question I had. The younger one wuz Missus Brownâs daughter. I never met her before an’ I didnât know her name.
âWeâve come to discuss a very delicate matter with your brother.â Missus Brown turned to me an’ smiled.
âWhy donâ you two ladies sit down,â said Hannah. May I take your coats?â
âYou must be doinâ very well,â Missus Brown told me, âhaving a servant an’ all.â
âShe ainât a servant,â I said finely findinâ my voice. I wuz getting riled at Hannah for still treatinâ ’em nice. She could figure out they wuznât welcome but she didnât pay no attention to me, Philomena or Beth. Faith an’ Hope sat quiet like an’ jest watched.
âWhat do you want, Missus Brown,â I added.
âWell, as you might know, my family has had a run of bad luck. We had to close the emporium an’ Mister Brown, God rest his soul…â She choked back sobs an’ her daughter sniffed. âThe latest humiliation is that we have lost our home to the bank.â
âWhat do you want, Missus Brown,â I repeated.
âWe took your sisters in when you needed help. Now itâs your turn to help us in our time of need. Itâs only fair. Please! Weâve no place else to go. Youâre our last hope.â
âSo you want Bill to take you an’ Polly in,â said Beth. âIs that right, Missus Brown?â
âThatâs right.â
âAnd youâd both earn your keep, right?â
âThatâs right.â
âWhat do you know how to do?â
âWell, I know how to run a household. I could help your brother with that.â
âI see. What about you, Polly? How would you earn your keep? You hardly lifted a finger at the house if one of us could do it.â She shrugged her shoulders.
âIâm not sure. I wuz brought up to be a lady.â
âAnd be genteel.â
âThatâs right.â
âSo, in other words, you donât know how to do nothing. By the way, I thought youâd be wed by now. You must be 16 now.â
âNobodyâs much interested in a girl without any money.â Polly wuz sheddinâ tears now.
âWhat about your dowry?â
âIt wuz in my fatherâs name. The creditors took it. They didnât seem to care when we told âem it wuz my dowry.â
âWell, Iâm right sorry to say you two are pretty useless. What do you think, Philomena?â
âI think we ought ta sell âem both to whoeverâs runninâ the bordello now like she did with us.â
âI never did.â
âYou know, Missus Brown, I wuz âround you enough to know when yer lyinâ. Yer lyinâ now, Missus Brown.â
âShe…she told me she would use you two as…maids.â
âYer lyinâ again, Missus Brown.â Philomena wuz yellinâ at the top of her voice. I never saw her so angry.
âCan…can you ever forgive me?â She hanged her head an’ started weepinâ.
âNo, I canât, Missus Brown. I can never forgive you.â Well, that pretty much put the nail on the coffin. I heard enough.
âMissus Brown, Iâll thank you an’ yer daughter to leave my home right now.â
âBut…you donât understand. Itâs freezing out there. Weâd never survive.â
âYou got here somehow. Go back the same way.â
âWe came in on a Mexicanâs donkey cart. He left us at the fork in the road. We paid him what money we had left.â
âI donât care.â
âYou ainât leavinâ if I have anythinâ to say about it.â Missus Brown looked at Hannah like she wuz a angel from on high come to save her an’ I looked like I wanted to punch her even though she wuz only a few days away from giving birth to my first child.
âYou donât have anythinâ to say about it, Hannah. Iâm the decider in this house.â
âI do too have sumthinâ to say if you jusâ listen, mister decider,â she replied. âNow you two go in the next room. I have ta talk in private witâ the massah of the house. Hope, you go along so they donâ be tempted to listen in.â
âWe wouldnâtâ
âAh know that, but weâs gonna do it my way. Remember, Ahâm tryinâ to save your lives.â When Hannah said that Missus Brown an’ her daughter didnât waste no more time an’ scooted into my bedroom with Hope followinâ them.
âNow, whatâs this all about, Hannah? If it wuznât for you Iâd a thrown âem out by now?â
âNo you wouldn’t a cuz you ainât no murderer.â
âIâve killed before. You know that.â
âYeah, but you nevah murdered anyone an’ Ah ainât gonna let you start. Philomena? Beth? You both had your knifes. Why didnât you stab that woman an’ her daughter the moment you saw they wuz here?â
âI wouldâve if sheâd been tryinâ to hurt us,â said Beth.
âThatâs right but she wuznât, wuz she. What they do to you wuz terrible an’ they deserve punishment but we are not goinâ to kill em outright just cuz you have a reason to hate them. Ifen you send them outside now, you gonna be murderinâ them.â
âSo we let them stay the night an’ Iâll take âem back to Hand Springs in the morninâ.â
âI donâ want you to do that neither.â
âWhat do you want us to do?â
âAhâm not shoâ. I jest got a feelinâ we needs them as much as they needs us.â
âYou got a feelinâ?â I wuznât believinâ any of this.
âJust like the feelinâ Ah got when you first spoke to me. To me, you wuz sayinâ âAhâm yo new husbinâ. Ahâll care fo you an’ your daughters now.â And you know, Ah wuz right.â
âI had the same feelinâ when Bill wuz takinâ us home,â said Philomena. âThatâs why I proposed to him.â Beth nodded in agreement. Women are shore strange creatures.
âSo we let them stay an’ they eat our food an’ maybe they will be useful to us.â
âAhâm askinâ you to trust me. Naturally they will hafta learn to do chores jest like everybody else here. Anâ of course you gonna be fuckinâ em too.â
âWhat? I already got five wives. I donât need no more wives.â
âThey donâ need to be yo wives fo you to fuck em. Theyâs both women an’ they each got a pussy. They ainât hard on the eyes, is they?â
âWell, no.â
âThink about it. They canât be all high an’ mighty with the way you will treat them. You git revenge fo what they did to Beth an’ Philomena. Polly is ruined an’ specially ifn you give her a baby.â
âIâm beginninâ to like the idea,â said Beth.
âMe too,â said Philomena.
âAlso think about how much lovinâ you been gettinâ lately.â Well, I wuznât gettinâ much at all with four very pregnant wives. I didnât want to hurt them. Hope still wuznât ready for me.
âI can hardly wait to see Missus Brownâs face when you tell her,â said Philomena.
âMissus is a title of respeck. Whatâs this galâs first name?â
âFlora.â
âShe gonna be Florry here an’ Polly, well, she still be Polly. Think about givinâ Florry a big belly like mine.â She rubbed her belly an’ I had to laugh.
âThey will never agree,â I said. I wuz certin of it.
âThey will agree,â Hannah replied. âThey ainât got no choice. They wouldn’t a come here if they had another choice.â
Iâm always beinâ surprised. Florry an’ Polly pretty much give in when they heard how it wuz gonna be. Oh, it wuznât without a lot of cryinâ an’ carryinâ on but I fucked an’ seeded both those women before nightfall. It wuznât like no weddinâ night neither. I fucked each one like a dog fucks its bitch.
Both wuz weepy for a while until they figured out nobody wuz gonna feel sorry for âem. Then they kinda settled down an’ accepted it as part of their duties. They wuz shocked when they realized I wuz the father of all four expected babies includinâ my sistersâ. Also that I had five wives an’ I wuz only 13 years old. Hannah gave birth to a baby girl two days later. We named her Charity.
Florry already knowed how to do a lot of chores from when she wuz a girl growinâ up an’ early in her marriage to Mister Brown. She jest forgot how to do them as Mister Brown made more money. Now she wuz doinâ âem again but it wuznât too much of a burden. All the wives still pitched in except Hannah who wuz restinâ some an’ feedinâ Charity from her teats.
Polly didnât know how to do nothinâ so she had to learn but I still think the wives wuz easy on her. She had to empty the chamber pots each morninâ, draw water from the well, do laundry an’ wash dishes. It wuz winter so there wuznât much outside chores to do at the time.
âWhatcha doinâ, Polly,â Hope said one afternoon about a week later.
âIâm readinâ a book I brought with me.â
âYou know how to read?â
âYes, I do.â
âAh wish I knowed how to read.â
âI think I can teach you if you really want to learn.â Of a sudden all the wives wuz intrested too. They started talkinâ âbout learninâ to write an’ do ârithmetic too. Philomena, Beth an’ me knowed our letters an’ numbers an’ could read a bit but we never went to school beinâ so far away from town. Now we wuz gonna have school at home.
Well, before you knowed it, I had to make a special trip to Hand Springs for school supplies like slates, chalk, readinâ primers an’ all sorts of stuff. Florry wuz good with numbers so she wuz gonna teach that. Florry an’ Polly finely wuz goinâ to give back to the household as far as I wuz concerned. I wondered if this wuz the potential Hannah saw in them. I saw both women smilinâ for the first time since they come to my home. A little while later Florry an’ Polly told me they wuz pregnant an’ I wuz not happy. Gettingâ them with child sounded like great revenge at the time it wuz first proposed but I wuznât so sure no more.
One of the few people I could confide in wuz Mister Kincaid. He knowed âbout my wives an’ he knowed what really happened to Missus Magillicuddy. He wuz makinâ a trip to Austin an’ I asked to him sell Missus Magillicuddyâs jewelry when he got there. He said he knowed a goldsmith who would give me a good price. The smith would take everythinâ apart, melt it down an’ make new jewelry. That gave me an idea. I asked that the goldsmith cast several gold weddinâ bands. I would present them to each of my wives. He made several more than I needed cuz I didnât know their ring sizes. I wanted to give the rings as a surprise but I wuznât sure when the best time wuz. I asked Mister Kincaid to take a nice commission for his self.
Faith gave birth to a boy who we named Wally after her father. Philomena also gave birth to a boy who wuz named Bill after me. Beth gave birth to a girl who we named Molly. Hope started her monthlies. I had a feelinâ it would not be long before she wuz with child. I wuz right. She didnât git her second monthlies ’til after her baby wuz born.
The weather started warminâ up some an’ I started takinâ a wife or two on rides in the buckboard. There wuz always plenty of help to take care of the babies while we wuz gone. One day I wuz out with Beth an’ Philomena when we saw three riders headinâ toward us in the opposite direction. I had a bad feelinâ âbout them an’ I said so. There wuz no way I could turn âround an’ outrun âem. Philomena wuz sittinâ to my left with Beth sittinâ behind. They started whisperinâ to each other an’ nodding their heads. Sure enough, all three galoots pulled their pistols as soon as they wuz abreast of us. One of âem ordered me to pull up an’ raise my hands. I did exactly that.
âWell, it looks like we are going to have some fun today,â said one galoot. âYou ladies go along an’ we might let your friend live.â He wuz referrinâ to me.
âOoh! I like fun,â Philomena replied. âIs this the kind of fun youâre lookinâ for, boys?â She pulled her dress clear to her waist an’ spread her legs. She wuznât wearinâ no under things so her pussy wuz out there in the fresh air for all to see. Those galoots started gawkinâ an’ grinninâ. Hell! I wuz gawkinâ too but I wuznât grinninâ none. Well, they an’ me didnât know it but those galoots wuz gettinâ ready to die. They wuz so distracted by my wifeâs pussy they didnât notice my other wife takinâ aim to shoot âem. Three quick shots rang out an’ there wuz three dead galoots. They didnât even have time to git a surprised look on their faces before they wuz dead.
âI hope they enjoyed that,â said Philomena, âcuz it cost them their lives.â She let her dress down an’ smiled pleasantly. I wuz so shocked I almost forgot to put my hands down. Beth wuz already down searchinâ the bodies.
âI know these galoots from their wanted posters. One of em is worth a thousand dollars. The other two are worth a couple hundred each.â
âWhat are you doinâ lookinâ at wanted posters?â
âPhilomena an’ me are gonna become bounty hunters, dress in menâs clothes an’ drink Mexican beer.â
âI guess itâs better than robbinâ stage coaches but I donât want you two to take up bounty huntinâ neither. Itâs too dangerous an’ you could git your selfs hurt or even killed. And whatâs this thing about menâs clothes an’ Mexican beer?â
âIt canât be any more dangerous than what happened just now,â Beth replied. âWearinâ menâs clothes is the only way Philomena an’ me can sneak into a saloon an’ buy Mexican beer. I hear it tastes divine an’ we wanna try it.â
âI can always buy some an’ bring it to ya.â
âIt ainât the same. We wanna do it this way. Dressinâ up in disguise will help us in our bounty huntinâ.â
âI think I will keep you both pregnant so you canât go gallivantinâ âround chasinâ reward money.â They thought that wuz funny but I wuz serious. We loaded up the bodies an’ rode into town. We got a receipt for the bodies from the sheriff an’ I didnât even complain âbout the bureauocracy or the burial costs. We sold the horses an’ saddles to the livery stable. The wives bought some menâs clothes an’ made me promise to bring em back to town for a saloon visit. When we returned home they both wanted to be fucked even though it wuz not their turn.
For no particular reason I thought it a good time to give out the weddinâ bands. The wives wuz surprised an’ pleased like Iâd hoped an’ there wuz a lot of smiles, tears, hugs an’ kisses. I then turned to Florry an’ Polly who wuz standinâ to the side watchinâ.
âI think it is time to forgive for what happened when Beth an’ Philomena wuz in Hand Springs. After your babies are born, I will give you two money an’ you can go somewheres where youâre not known an’ start anew. If you think the babies will be a burden we will keep them here an’ raise them.â
âWhat if one or both of us wish to stay,â Florry asked.
âYou can stay on one condition an’ that condition is that you consent to become my wives. That means you will be a equal among the wives as long as you promise to love, honor an’ obey me.â
They wuz both blushinâ. They looked at me, then the wives an’ then at each other. They looked at me again an’ both nodded. I produced two more rings an’ placed them on their fingers. I kissed an’ hugged both of them. That made them wives six an’ seven. The other wives clapped their hands an’ started gabbinâ at each other. There wuz more smiles, tears, hugs an’ kisses. So I wuz happy with that result. I didnât want no children of mine not to know their daddy.
Since I wuz now her husbinâ Florry wuz able to tell me how much she liked beinâ taken ruff like. It wuz nothinâ like she wuz used to with Mister Brown which wuz at night, under the covers an’ in the dark. Mister Brown would shove it in, grunt some an’ squirt. He never seen her bare naked. Now she knowed how good fuckinâ could be an’ she didnât want the fuckinâ to change now that we wuz man an’ wife. I wuz glad for that cuz I didnât intend to change. In fact, I started fuckinâ all the wives the same way an’ two at a time besides.
All the wives ordered a bunch of goods from back east includinâ a passel of books. It wuz time for me to go pick the goods up in town. Florry an’ Polly never wanted to show their faces in Hand Springs again so they never went along when I had to go into town. Hannah, Faith an’ Hope wuz shy about showinâ their faces in a all white town so they preferred to stay home. Also, Hope wuz showinâ a big belly. That left Beth an’ Philomena to go along an’ they let me know they wuz wearinâ their menâs clothes so I knowed we wuz gonna make a trip to a saloon to try Mexican beer. We decided to check into a hotel an’ make a night of it. We checked in as the Jones brothers so we could all share a room.
We ate supper in a nearby restaurant an’ then walked to a saloon. Beth an’ Philomena wore big floppy hats that hid their faces an’ long hair. They sat at a table an’ I went to the bar to buy the beers. Mexican beer costs more than the local beer but itâs supposed to be worth it. I didnât know cuz this wuz the first time I tasted beer. I brought the beers back to the table an’ we started sippinâ our drink. It wuz good. The wives thought so too. Before long a saloon whore come up an’ asked if we wanted to have some fun. We all shook our heads.
âMebbe come pay day,â I said. The gal looked disappointed.
âBe sure to ask for Dotty,â she replied before wanderinâ over to another table.
The wives wanted another round an’ I did too. Half way thru that round the wives started gigglinâ. They wuz gettinâ drunk an’ I wuz feelinâ it too. I knowed I had to git them outa there before we wuz discovered. A woman in a saloon is ‘sposed to be a whore an’ I didnât want the wives to be mistaken for whores.
âWe are going,â I said an’ stood up. They didnât look happy but they didnât argue neither. I noticed those two stagger a bit when they rose so we wuz gettingâ out just in time. I breathed a sigh of relief when we wuz back on the street but that didnât last long. Beth started chasinâ after a man an’ woman that just walked past an’ turned into an alley. It looked like she wuz beinâ dragged actually.
âWhere ya goinâ?â I could hear her beinâ slapped âround.
âI know that girl.â
âIt ainât none of our bizness,â I said. âIâll git the sheriff if you want.â
âHe wonât do nothinâ an’ it sounds like you wonât do nothinâ either but I will.â
âWho is it,â Philomena asked.
âLaura Fisher.â
âYou gotta do somethinâ, Bill,â Philomena gasped. âShe helped us.â
I wuz startinâ to git the picture. She had been a friend to my sisters an’ now I had to do somethinâ but I didnât know what. I jest didnât want Beth gettingâ in trouble. I couldnât shoot the galoot. For all I knowed he wuz her daddy or husbinâ. I brought out my trusty slingshot an’ lead ball an’ got âim in the back of the head jest as he wuz âbout to take another swing. He groaned an’ slumped to the ground. I knowed I couldnât miss at the range even if I wuz fallinâ down drunk. He wuz gonna have a lump âbout the size of a goose egg but I donât think I killed âim. The next thing I knowed Beth an’ Philomena wuz leadinâ their friend to our hotel an’ I followed.
âYou canât take a woman to your room,â said the hotel clerk. âThis is a respectable establishment.â I showed him five dollars.
âThis is a respectable tip to keep your mouth shut,â I replied. âDo you understand?â
âI understand completely, sir,â he said an’ opened his palm. I give him the five an’ he said, âPlease be sure to keep the noise down so it doesnât attract the attention of the other guests.â I ignored his comment an’ followed the women to our room.
Well, this wuz the story I got after everybody wuz calm. Lauraâs mother died of a fever an’ their wuz nobody left in her family. This galoot befriended her but it turned out he wuz no friend. Sam, (that wuz his name) told her he wuz in love with her an’ they would be wed but he had to raise a stake an’ she could help out by beinâ a whore. Laura refused an’ Sam threatened her but no one would help her cuz he wuz tellinâ everybody they wuz already wed an’ showed em a paper to prove it. Laura said the paper wuz phony but nobody wuz intrested in her story.
It wuz only tonight that Sam started beatinâ Laura cuz some galoot wuz goinâ to pay him a lot of money for lettinâ the galoot take her virginity. Beth an’ Philomena got all riled an’ told me we had to help Laura cuz she wuz the one that warned my sisters âbout the deal twixt Florry an’ Missus Magillicuddy so I had to do somethinâ but I didnât know what. I told them it wuz time for bed anyway an’ weâd talk âbout it in the morninâ. I didnât fuck either one of the wives cuz we had Laura stayinâ with us even though I sure wanted to.
In the morninâ we sneaked Laura down the back stairs. She come in thru the front door an’ had breakfast with us in the hotel dininâ room. The only thing I could think of wuz to take Laura with us. That way Sam couldnât take advantage of our friend an’ would leave town an’ pick on somebody else somewheres else. We kept Laura out of sight ’til it we had the buckboard loaded with our shipment an’ it wuz time to go but I guess some galoot spotted Laura an’ told Sam.
A man come runninâ up with the sheriff in tow demandinâ that Laura come with him an’ that he arrest us for slugginâ him the night before an’ robbinâ him of a lot of money. His head wuz covered with bandages so I guessed this wuz Sam. Well, of course we denied havin anythinâ to do with slugginâ anyone but Sam said it wuz likely us cuz we wuz with Laura so that proved it. The sheriff knowed me by now an’ he wuznât gonna take the word of a man who wuz mostly a stranger in town an’ told âim so.
Sam said he wuz a personal friend of the govner in Austin an’ if the sheriff didnât arrest us right away he wuz goinâ to send a telegram to the govner demandin’ the sheriff be fired an’ replaced with a man willinâ to do the job.
âWhy donât you arrest him, sheriff,â said Beth referrinâ to Sam. âHeâs a wanted man.â She wuz still dressed in her menâs clothes so she tried to talk in a low voice.
âThatâs a foul slander,â shouted Sam. âIâm going to sue you for damaginâ my good reputation.â
âShut up a minute,â the sheriff told Sam. âHow do you know that,â he asked Beth.
âIf you check your wanted posters, youâll find heâs wanted in Ink Wells for defraudinâ widders an’ orphans. He went by Simon La Rue there.â Well, Samâs face turned as white as his bandages. He said he wuz goinâ to the telegraph office right away an’ wire his friend the gov’ner but by that time the sheriff grabbed Sam by his coat lapel.
âDo I know you,â said the sheriff. Beth smiled an’ nodded. She took off her hat an’ shook out her hair. The sheriff smiled back. He knowed Beth wuz pretty good with names an’ faces. Sam/Simon wuz hauled off to jail with him protestinâ an’ threateninâ the whole way. I breathed a sigh of relief.
Laura didnât have no more reason to leave Hand Springs but she didnât have no reason to stay neither so the wives invited her to come visit for a while so she said yes. Well, you couldâve knocked Laura over with a feather when she discovered Florry an’ Polly livinâ with us. Anyway, the wives started tellinâ Laura âbout our lives here an’ Laura said she wished she could live with us permanent like. The wives said why not but I said not without her beinâ a wife. Laura said okay an’ thatâs I got wife number eight. I knowed we wuz gonna need a lot more room.
Nothinâ much happened the next coupla years unless you count more pregnancies an’ more children. I started to earn more money than I wuz spendinâ from breedinâ an’ raisinâ horses which made me happy an’ the wives really knowed how to stretch a dollar. I still had a lot of Missus Magillicuddyâs money but I wanted to save that for a rainy day.
I got a late start one night cominâ home from Hand Springs where I picked up some feed an’ supplies. It wuz already dark but a full moon wuz out an’ I didnât have no trouble seeinâ the road. This wuz one time I wuz alone. I wuznât thinkinâ âbout nothinâ very much when I heard a strange sound. At first I thought it wuz a animal or the wind. I reined in the mules an’ lissened again. Someone wuz cryinâ. It sounded like a woman.
Now the Mexicans have this story about this ghost woman who is always cryinâ. I forget why she is so unhappy. But some say that anybody who hears her cryinâ is marked for death an’ there ainât a thing in the world a body can do âbout it. Well, I ainât the superstitious type but I couldnât but help feelinâ a bit uneasy. I reasoned that since I wuznât no Mexican there should be no reason why the woman should pick on me if thatâs who she wuz.
So I resolved to jest keep on goinâ an’ pertend I never heard her in the first place. Thatâs when I heard the woman say somethinâ in Spanish an’ I knowed it wuz the ghost woman an’ my time had come even if I wuznât no Mexican. Well, a body canât outrun a ghost an’ I didnât want the animals to come to harm so I jest sat there an’ waited for her to come git me.
I finely saw her. She wuz sittinâ on a rock some distance off the road but she wuznât payinâ no attention to me. My Spanish ainât so good but I figured out she wuz prayinâ. Could she be a flesh an’ blood woman? Jest in case she wuz the ghost woman I decided I would jest go up to her an’ explain that I had eight wives an’ then maybe sheâd feel sorry for me. If she wuz a flesh an’ blood woman Iâd ask her what she wuz doinâ out in the middle of nowheres after dark.
Well, she turned out to be a real woman an’ one in a bad way cuz she wuz pregnant an’ the baby wuz âbout ready to be born. She didnât even act surprised when I jest walked up an’ asked her if she needed help. I helped her into the buckboard an’ took her home. Birthinâ a baby ainât no big thing âround the house âspecially for the wives. They took one look, told me to git out of the way an’ went to work. Three hours later we had a healthy baby boy born to Alma which wuz the motherâs name. Except this baby wuznât from my seed.
Alma wuz alone cuz she shamed her famly by taking up with the babyâs father who promised to wed her when she came up pregnant but instead abandoned her. She wuz sure she wuz goinâ to die but then she heard the holy virgin tellinâ her to go with the one she wuz sendinâ. Well, no one sent me. I jest happened by. I got to wonderinâ if somebody else wuz lookinâ for her just now but I didnât say nothinâ.
Nobody treated Alma or her son Miguel any different than anyone else…just like family. She had been here for a little over six weeks when Hannah come an’ asked me why I wuznât makinâ Alma one of the wives.
âSheâs waitinâ for you to ask her.â
âWhy donât she ask me?â
âSheâs a bit shyer than some of us. Also, sheâs already been hurt bad by a man.â
âWhat about Miguel? You know he ainât mine.â
âI know you love him as if he wuz,â Hannah replied. âWe all do.â
âI wonât treat him no different than from the others.â
âWe know that, Bill. Thass why we all loves you. You got a big heart.â
So thatâs what I did. I asked Alma to be my wife an’ she said yes cuz she already prayed âbout it an’ the holy virgin said it wuz okay. I finely figured out the holy virgin wuz one of those ghost ladies but she seemed a lot nicer than the weepinâ woman.
Well, our rainy day finally come in the form of a lightninâ caused brush fire an’ high wind. We had time to git our selfs, the livestock an’ some personal property out of the way but we couldnât save our home. Everythinâ else wuz destroyed. I figured it wuz time to move on.
We stayed with Mister Kincaid for a coupla weeks an’ durinâ that time I considered my next move. Philomena an’ Polly wuz clamorinâ for a place where the children could go to school an’ git educated. Beth wanted to become a consultinâ detective after readinâ some stories by A. C. Doyle. That meant the big city an’ I figured Austin fit the bill but not too close. I give the livestock to Mister Kincaid. The only animal that come with us wuz Rex.
I bought a small ranch outside Austin but close enough for the children to go to school. Thatâs when I discovered all the children couldnât go to the same school cuz some had a darker skin. That made me sad but Florry come up with a solution. She saw a notice in a newspaper. A college educated woman wuz seekinâ a position as a tutor. We talked to her an’ wuz impressed. She said she didnât care what color the children wuz.
Well, I ainât gonna tell how she become wife number ten or anythinâ else unless you tell me how much you liked the story so far. But I donât give a Tinkerâs dam if you donât.