Brynn awoke with dizzying thoughts and questions. The night before had been unexpected and he wasn’t sure what to think. He loved his times with Gilbert but now felt despair that the older man might have changed his mind.

It was surprising how quickly it had come about. They had returned from Easton City and Gilbert had parked behind BattleLines VideoChallenge, as usual. What was not usual was that Brynn eventually found his smaller hand under the man’s bigger one and the older man masturbating himself to orgasm.

Brynn had neither permitted nor protested the act. He didn’t understand his acquiescence, but as he began sorting through things, it seemed:

He wanted to be with the man, therefore he wanted to please the man, therefore he had not refused the man.

But, he was married. He had grandchildren. Should Brynn feel guilty?

A honk from the driveway drew him to the kitchen window where he saw his mother next to the family car and waving. Brynn didn’t wave. He loved his mother but he wouldn’t wave because he couldn’t stand being associated with that damned, oxidized, twenty year old, Volvo station wagon. And how could she be smiling? Either you sneer at 20 year old decrepit Volvos or you laugh at them. There is no in-between.

Finally, he waved. He felt sorry for her. She was becoming a clodpate like his father although not as fast. His parents hadn’t always been quirky. In fact, his father had once been a university professor— “for more than a decade”, he’ll have you know; dressed to perfection, strutted with nods, and gulled by self-importance that sometimes put his chin above his nose.

Then, fell the guillotine. He said it was “mutual agreement”. Others used the word “indiscretion”. He smirked, flipped them off and left the building. Hell, he was financially secure and he had name recognition, so getting offers would be easy, or so he thought.

But now, his mother worked part-time for a craft store and his father mumbled about while soldering metal gnomes that he bragged would become treasures although for now, they were discounted at the craft store.

He had never wanted kids and Brynn felt the fallout as the man was critical without cause and inattentive, enough to produce a boy who was socially dispirited, unattached, and inexpressive. Also, someone vulnerable to a man like Gilbert.

Brynn hadn’t seen Gilbert for two days and although that was not overly unusual, three days was worrisome. Maybe the act had come across as too gay or maybe Brynn had gone along too easily. Or, maybe it was the age thing. Brynn had said 16. Gilbert thought 11. Neither had pursued the difference.

While walking home with his head down, he wondered what was wrong. He had always been on time. Always friendly. He had even overlooked Gilbert’s obsession for little girls and had given his hand for the man’s sexual pleasure.

If those wasn’t enough, then maybe he just didn’t fit in this fucked up world! Despite all he had done, it felt like the world was laughing in his face and saying, “Silly boy. What on earth were you thinking?”

Then, he was surprised. Gilbert had approached silently from behind and pulled to the curb. “Sorry I’m late.”

The car was a four-door with gold accessories and a pedigree of luxury. It was older and lacked shine but it was nice and it was comfortable, qualities Brynn saw in the man who owned it.

“Car was in the shop,” Gilbert said. “How have you been?”

A mess, the boy thought. He shrugged.

“I don’t have a lot of time but … There’s a boat race Saturday at the lake. They’re really fun. Use to take my family. We can spend the day. For me, be like old times. Whataya think?”

The boy’s head was screaming “Yessss!” but his head only nodded.

“Great! How late can you stay?”

“No one would miss me.”

By noon on Saturday, they had a grassy spot under tall trees with a great view of the lake. There were families about with children playing and adults drinking and carrying on. There was an unending spectacle of girls in bikinis and Gilbert’s eyes feasted on them, especially one laying on her tummy two blankets away.

Brynn didn’t understand men’s fascinations for little girls. The one on the blanket was probably nine. He shook the topic from his head.

Gilbert began telling him how he had missed him. He brushed Brynn’s longish, thin brown hair from his eyes, and leaned close and whispered, “Thanks for the other night.”

It made Brynn feel like a girl. It felt strange but not unpleasant.

“More than you know. I haven’t had … ‘human contact’ … like that for quite a while.”

The races were exciting. One boat blew up while another flipped through the air. They were fast and loud and didn’t give space for conversation.

They barbecued food and ate with the family two blankets away. Gilbert teased their daughter and talked about the joys of when he had raised his own. Brynn felt jealousy. Dammit. Jealous of a nine year old girl?

With the sun getting lower in the sky, people began to pack and leave. A spot between sparse brush opened and Gilbert moved them. Once settled, he said, “Yeah Brynn, I really liked that…what we did. Men have needs, you know? Not bad needs. Just needs.”

Bad? Maybe if he hadn’t stared at that little girls’ ass it would be more believable. Besides, why was he talking about horniness now when they were somewhat in the open?

“Hey, here’s a pillow. Let’s just relax a while.”

He encouraged the boy to rest on his back while Gilbert lay on his stomach, their right arms nearly touching. After a couple of minutes Brynn felt Gilbert’s hand. He felt it pull his. He saw the man’s hips lift. Then, he felt his hand pulled under the man’s heated abdomen and then tucked lower with his palm facing upward. Before Brynn could gather himself, he felt Gilbert’s genitals nestle down onto his open hand.

He was shocked but frozen. “Let it happen, Brynn”, the man soothed. There was no gap between their bodies so their contact could hardly be noticed. Still, Brynn was fearful. He wanted to run, but when the man began cooing with lust, the boy relented.

Gilbert began to … he was … he was moving … pushing into Brynn’s hand. Fucking!

It was slow and secretive but not completely unnoticeable. Pushing softly. Releasing. Repeating. He was … Gilbert was fucking his hand! With people … not far away! Insane! Dangerous! But, Brynn was too confused and overwhelmed to stop it. It went on for many minutes.

Abruptly, Gilbert raised. “N… Not … like this.”

He urged Brynn to gather their things and return to the car. The man moved it to a secluded place and backed in. This time, he didn’t ask. This time, Brynn didn’t question. In about a minute, he was wrapping Brynn’s fingers around his bared shaft. It was hard and almost hot. Gilbert’s hand controlled their movements in a slow, and by now familiar, masturbation of his hard cock.

“Ahhhhhhh-hhhhh,” he groaned almost inaudibly. In time, he pushed on Brynn’s left shoulder and told the boy to get down and to watch, just like before.

Brynn didn’t understand why watching was so important but then, there were many things about sex that he didn’t seem to have in common with most males.

He knelt on the floorboard and brought his face to within inches. He could smell the scent. Was it man-sex or the scent of a man’s erect penis? Indeed, he was fasinated with how that cock looked and how it bent with their movement even though it was very hard.

Gilbert’s eyes were closed and his face distorted and his breathing came in irregular gasps. Brynn was amazed and happy that he could pleasure a man so much and what it might mean for their relationship.

“Ahhhh-HH-hhh!” Gilbert sighed. “YessSSss. Ahhh.”

It seemed like twenty minutes had elapsed and very little had changed. What did change was his fingers sending erotic messages to his brain about the feel of that hard and vibrant cock.

Then, the man stopped and his hand relaxed. “Damn Brynn. So good. More than you know.” His head leaned back. He just held Brynn’s smaller hand.

“Brynn … “ he finally said. The man opened his eyes. They seemed glazed. “Brynn …” Another pause. “I would really like it if you got a little closer.” He nudged the boy’s head.

Closer? Brynn’s face was already as close as the other night. How close did he—

“Just … closer.”

If he got any closer, his face would be … Wait! Was that where this was going?

Gilbert tugged the boy’s head closer and sighed, “Ahhhh good boy.”

“Good boy”—words he hadn’t heard—words that plunked with echoes into the depths of his hollow being.

“Brynn, listen …” The man looked away and then back.

“I … (pause) Brynn, it would mean the world to me …. “

What?

“Brynn … just … just … touch … your tongue.”

What the hell? With his tongue? He wanted him touch his tongue to the man’s penis? Brynn was NOT a cocksucker! He would never … but—

Was he willing to cast it all aside? His first chance at inclusion, fitting in, relationship, being wanted, hearing “good boy”. Would he really throw it all in now?

It felt like daggers. One was fear and another reluctance; one was homophobia and another desire; one was skepticism and another need; and one was despair yet another the desire to please.

“Brynn,” the man wooed, “It would mean …everything.” Then leaning forwarded and in almost a whisper, “It’s what men want, Brynn. What we need. What … I haven’t felt it in so long. Please. Just … touch your tongue.”

The boy was paralyzed by the demons of confusion. His guts pained with conflict. Then … a glint of clarity. He could not jettison everything —not in that moment. He would touch his tongue tonight, then think things over in the morning. But for now, he lacked sufficient rational judgment to take a resistant stand.

He felt fingers prod the back of his head and his own consent followed.

He was overwhelmed by the realization of what he was about to do—put his tongue on a grown man’s penis. It was … queer. He might regret it tomorrow, but right now, he was required to respond one way or another to this man’s sexual desires.

“It won’t hurt you and I need it. Brynn, a million boys across the world are doing it right now. Come. Please!”

The boy was nervous and trembling. But the man was needy and pleading.

He felt his small tongue push past the lips that guarded his oral sanctum. It… it … just the tip … it touched the tip of the man’s erection. Brynn shivered. His body shook. What he had done could never be changed. He had touched his tongue to a man’s penis and to ever deny would require a lie.

Gilbert’s body leaped. He encouraged the boy to touch it more and in a few minutes, he placed his hands on the boy’s head and guided it along his shaft while the boy essentially held his tongue flat and still. With the right mental tricks, Brynn could say he wasn’t licking Gilbert’s cock but rather that Gilbert was guiding his tongue; a small but comforting distinction.

Gilbert relaxed his hands and urged the boy to do it on his own and because Brynn had essentially already been doing it, it was frail logic to suddenly say “no”. He drew in his breath and looked for bravado. He moved to the man’s cock. He distended his tongue and he … he licked. Shivers went through him. The boy winced. The man groaned. The groan felt like gallons of acceptance being poured into him.

He licked slowly down the shaft while his nostrils imbibed the stale and peculiar scent of man-sex. His thumb and two fingers held the shaft near the head. He licked slowly and tentatively until the man spoke.

“Circle the tip, Brynn. Just the tip. Slow.”

While his tongue was slowly circling the end of Gilbert’s penis, the man put his hands on the boy’s head again and this time held it still. For many seconds, the tip of his erection was firmly pressed to the boy’s tongue and closed mouth. Then, Brynn felt it press just slightly more.

“Let … Let it happen, Brynn,” the man finally said.

What? Let what happen? What was he talking about?

Wait!

He wanted …

He wanted sex.

He wanted to have sex in Brynn’s mouth!

Brynn was NOT a cocksucker! Besides, Gilbert had never, EVER, suggested such a thing!

But … He also noticed that he had not pushed the man away. Gilbert’s probing tip was still firmly planted against Brynn’s mouth.

“Let it happen. Just … let it happen,” the man soothed. “You’ll see.”

See? See what? That he’s a cocksucker? That this is what Gilbert had in mind from the beginning?

“Don’t fight it,” Gilbert added. “It’s to be enjoyed. It’s natural. Millions of boys are doing it right now. Please Brynn. Please.”

Brynn’s lips were firmly guarding his virgin mouth, but the man was pleading and the boy felt his resolve loosen.

“Give and take, Brynn,” the man continued. “Takes us to a whole new level.”

A whole new level sounded good but becoming a cocksucker didn’t. Brynn wanted to be with Gilbert and do his part but become a cocksucker? But, if he didn’t, he would lose this man. It was like what he knew of high school and how girls “put out” if they wanted to keep their boyfriends. Hell, they did blowjobs. Males needed sex and they migrated to those who provided it. That was just part of the expectation if you wanted to be with males.

Again, the man urged the boy to relax his lips and receive his hard cock.

Brynn surrendered.

He felt the man’s shaft slowly pry into his oral orifice a half-inch at a time. It tasted … fleshy. The crown was cushy, like soft but not mushy. It penetrated Brynn’s mouth and the boy clearly felt the hardness and gathering ridge underneath the head.

It wasn’t that the taste was foul or bitter or objectionable; it was just that the act felt very weird and very queer. It seemed evil and wicked. Like a serpent. It twitched. Brynn gasped.

“Ahhhhhh …. yesssss, Brynn!” the man crooned as he felt his stiff cock going into the boy’s soft and wet mouth. And, “Yesssss!” again when he felt the boy relax and surrender to his mouth to him.

“Real slow, Brynn. No need to hurry. Special…” he cooed. “Take time … ahhhhh … Enjoy. Ahhhhh, yeah boy. You have a really nice little mouth.”

Brynn felt the hardness pushing in and spreading his lips. It felt like a giant finger except it had softness as well as hardness, but mostly hardness.

“Little more, Brynn. Aahhhh! Such a good boy. Pretty boy.”

It seemed so surreal; so powerful; letting a grown man push his erection between his lips and into his mouth; letting a grown man turn him into a cocksucker, even if just for one night.

While it seemed wrong, it couldn’t be too wrong if high school girls did it. If it wasn’t wrong for them to do it to keep their guys with them, then why would it be wrong for Brynn to do it to keep Gilbert? It was probably natural. There were cocksuckers in town and it seemed natural for them.

It seemed like the entire world had long known what Brynn was just learning—If you want to please a man, then go down and suck on his cock and the more you do it, the more they will stay.

If it wasn’t a part of nature, then why have there been cocksuckers since the beginning of time? The lesson to learn was that cocksucking was natural for those who wanted it.

Gilbert’s hands were again moving the boy’s head in an ultra-slow up-and-down motion and he said, “Suck in your cheeks and mouth so it’s tighter.”

Brynn hadn’t realized that the man’s cock was snug to his lips but was not touching the insides of his mouth. It hung like a dagger through cardboard but touched nothing else. He began to draw in the inside of his mouth, and—yes!—he felt it—his inner mouth suctioned around the man’s erection and he swooned inside with the feel of the man’s girth and contour. The feel re-established that his mouth was indeed filled with a man’s dick. He felt even more like a cocksucker but because Gilbert was moaning his approval, he accepted it.

“Yessssss Brynnnnnnn … yes! Now suck! Mmmmmm…yesss. Suck. Suck on it!”

The time to deny had long ago passed. He had an erect cock in his mouth and although their reasons were much different, they both wanted and expected and required that Brynn suck on it. It was no longer Gilbert making things happen, but now it was Brynn sucking, of his own volition.

His soft young mouth began. Three very soft and very slow sucks. He stopped to assess things. It … it was … hard to admit but he … he liked sucking. No, not because he was truly a cocksucker, but because he was doing the action and by doing it, he was proving himself to the man. Proving his willingness to please; to do his part. Proving that he wanted the man’s companionship enough that he would kneel and perform fellatio to get it. Proving his mouth as a place the man could find the pleasure he had been missing just as Brynn had been missing someone who cared.

If one viewed from the outside, they would see the light of a rising half-moon; a lake gone still in the quiet air; an older car parked among trees; a boy’s head bobbing in a man’s lap; and the glisten of saliva on the man’s erection every time the boy’s mouth reached the top of the areas only flagpole.

Eventually, Brynn felt the man’s hands return to his head and then the man’s hips pushing up to meet his oscillating head. It felt, in a way, demeaning. He wasn’t pleasuring the man. The man was using his mouth. He was getting fucked in the mouth. It felt like being used. It wasn’t bad, he supposed … just … he guessed … different. It felt whorish but that didn’t matter because the act was necessary.

It was bizarre! Getting fucked in the mouth! Less than a week ago, he had never done anything. Nothing! Until now, his mouth was pure. Virgin. Never touched. And now, here in this dark car, his mouth was being defiled by a man older than his own grandfather. And—-Brynn was letting it happen.

Gilbert slowed down to a leisurely pace and he leaned toward Brynn’s captive head. He continued to fuck but very slowly.

“Listen … Brynn … I have to … You know …”

The boy squirmed.

“I … I want to … I have to …” there was a pause. “You know. In your mouth.”

Brynn’s body jerked when he understood. Like a single light could flood a giant gymnasium, Brynn knew what he was saying. The man wanted to ejaculate in his mouth!

No. NO! He couldn’t. Not THAT! Maybe sometime. Not tonight. He had never imagined such a thing!

“Shhhh Brynn. Listen. It will be okay. Men are doing it in boys’ mouths all over the world right now. And Brynn … you … you don’t have to swallow.”

The word “swallow” left no doubt about what he expected.

“Please Brynn. It’s important. Not finishing is worse than never starting. I want to do it right. I have to cum in your mouth Brynn. I have to. Say you will let me.”

The boy had already destroyed a hundred of his own previous objections, so why not one more? Gilbert was pleading. Practically begging. But, could Brynn actually do it? He would hurl. How could he let a man do that? Ejaculate in his mouth, of all places.

And yet, the man’s words left no alternative. To not finish was worse than to not have started. It trumped all arguments. Brynn sighed. His insides felt like a deflating balloon.

He nodded.

When Gilbert pulled Brynn’s his head up, the boy was confused. The cock slipped from his mouth and Gilbert said he wanted to hear the boy say it with words “so I don’t assume or your consent isn’t crystal clear”.

Brynn closed his eyes and whispered. “Yes.”

The man was overjoyed and worked his erection back into the boy’s mouth. and began fucking slowly once again. Then, he began explaining in patient and quiet tones about what Brynn needed to do to handle the man’s orgasm without gagging.

His thrusts were not hard but they held power and the hardness of the man’s shaft … it … it actually … dammit, it felt good. Not that Brynn would get hot from it, but that hard cock, moving in his mouth … yes … it … felt good and not at all deplorable.

Gilbert began going a little faster. More energy. Expertly fucking near the boy’s throat but never deep enough to gag and holding the boy’s smaller head in place so he could fuck it.

Huffing. Lust-filled loins. That mouth. Warm. Wet. Like pussy. Cock harder. Twisting while thrusting. Moaning. Breathing fast. Pumping the boy’s mouth. Yesss! Mmmmm! Two strokes per second. Sweat “tears” down his abdomen. Balls building. Gasping. Urgency! Now! Now! Thrusting! Bury it … in his mouth. To the boy’s throat. Not to gag. Now! Now!

Yesssssssssssssssss! Jizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! Harrrrrrrrrrd!

Full and intense. Right in the boy’s mouth! RIGHT … in his mouth! Another. Streaming out. Blasting! Another. Another. Another. And, two more separated by four seconds.

Brynn’s insides were a mess. He was getting fucked in the mouth. Hard. The man seemed crazed but then, the man had needs. He knew what was going to happen. He knew what the man wanted. He knew he wouldn’t resist. He felt it—the man thrusting. Smell of perspiration. Face wet from the man’s abdomen. Feel of that hard cock. Sexually assaulting him. Driving into him. Fucking him. Let it happen.

Harder. Faster. Head held tighter. Chaos. Sexual chaos. Fucked in the mouth. Not resisting. Lips snug. Sliding fast. Wet. No friction. Jammed! Jammed to the back of his mouth.

Crazy! Crazy! Crazy!

It’s … it’s … spurting. Cumming. Gilbert. Ejaculating in his mouth. Pure mouth. Virgin mouth. Defiled.

Obey. Do what Gilbert explained. Tighten his lips. Seal to the shaft. Jam tongue down. Push tongue back all the way –- FAST! Close it off. No gagging. Hold still. Let the man do it. Don’t struggle. Surrender. Receive. Til he finishes.

His mouth felt heated. Heated by semen. Sticky. Gooey. Oozing from the back of his mouth to his tongue and from the roof of his mouth like stalactites. Another shot. Also to the back. Hanging. Draped like thick pancake batter. Another and another and another. Held still. Didn’t fight it. Slimey. Awful texture. No taste. Penis still spurting. Two more, four seconds apart.

Then, Gilbert’s cock slackened and just oozed semen into the school boy’s mouth. It twitched. Brynn twitched also. The man’s hands weren’t holding his head but were stroking his hair. Mouth full of semen—YUCK!—but he heard “good boy” words.

Gilbert began to withdraw and Brynn remembered what to do. He snugged his lips more than before and kept them tight until the man’s cock pulled out.

“Damn, never cum so hard ever from something like that.”

Brynn’s eyes watered because of the overpowering profundity of what had just happened and the sperm that he now held in his mouth.

“Brynn, you remember what I told you? What to do now?

The boy nodded and lifted his face to look up at the man. He slowly opened his mouth to show that it was full of the man’s semen and that there was so much, that his tongue was submerged in the goo.

The man’s right hand instantly began kneading his deflating cock. “Ahhhhh damn, Brynn. Sooo hot!”

He paused. “Listen Brynn, is there any way that you … you know … that you would swallow?”

The boy’s head was instantly saying “no” and the man laughed. “Okay, not part of our deal anyway.

“Does it taste bad?”

The boy shook his head.

“Does it taste at all to you?”

Again, Brynn shook his head.

“I’ll be damned. So listen kid, if you’re not going to swallow, then at least keep it in your mouth. One minute. That’s all I ask. Okay?”

He watched. The boy seemed to have some difficulty but made it through an entire minute.

“You can spit outside. Here’s a rag to clean up.”

The boy quickly opened the car door and coughed the vile reproduction goo to the ground. He wiped his face and was silent. He felt completely overwhelmed and somewhat confused by it all and he knew his head would not be right for hours.

Gilbert drove the boy to BattleLines and dropped him off. Brynn didn’t remember walking home. He felt dizzy. Semen still coated his mouth and he felt somewhat ill.

Maybe he had been a cocksucker for this night, but he wasn’t yet ready to admit that he would be a cocksucker over the long haul. He was too dazed to make that determination and too uncertain if what he had done would help to bind Gilbert to him.

He had never imagined that his path to social inclusion would be tread on his knees but if that was how he would fit, then he would probably accept it.

If one thing was clear, it was that he had done what the man had wanted. He had done his part in the give-and-take of relationships. What the future would bring, he didn’t know, but he hoped it would be more times with the Gilbert, the man who had noticed him and accepted him and taught him about relationships.

How far would it go? Well, it would never go to anal sex because Brynn detested the thought of that. If Gilbert wanted that, then it just wouldn’t happen. Maybe that would cost him Gilbert’s companionship, but now that he knew how to please men, his chances of finding another seemed quite high.

Yes, maybe he would become a cocksucker, but he would also become something much more. He would become a person, a whole person, just like everyone else.

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