“Anyone home?” I asked as i entered the apartment that i shared with my best friend Tom. Yeah he’s a guy but i’m a tomboy so it’s cool. He always says i would be the perfect girlfriend and that we would be the perfect couple. Once out of curiosity I asked why and he said it was because we were the best of both worlds. We sometimes talk and share date horrors like that time i went on a blind date with strange requests (who had asked me to wear pigtails and clown makeup for our first date so I ended up not even going) and the one girl that he dated a year or two ago that had the strangest fetish I’ve ever heard of, actually that I’ve never heard of. In fact we really have slowed down a lot since then, especially since he gave up on me as a sexual partner when he thought i had no clue he had been flirting.

The truth was i just didn’t want to ruin our friendship i mean he was the perfect man with a personality to die for, but I tell myself that I will never live it down if something went wrong. The truth is i don’t trust relationships, that’s just the way It’s always have been. Commitment, feeling that connection, knowing glances, sex, love, intimacy you name it…all unstable. Plus I’d always promised myself to never date someone prettier or uglier that myself which is really hard. I’ve never felt for anyone like i feel for tom, he makes me feel all warm and loved and hell he even brings out the fun in me I know the irony.

Just then a shape appeared near the door and i reached for the light switch and pushed it upward. The light came on and for a moment i had to shut my eyes and blink away spots “Oh hey Tom, I see you fixed the lights” i said before looking toward the tall figure. “Yeah i figured i should be the one to do it since I’m the one on leave for a week…” sometimes he took time off of work to rest and have parties with friends. We hadn’t talked about the kitchen lights since last week when i had fallen in the dark and cut my arm with the knife i had been holding because i tripped on a chair or something (sometimes it seems unreal to me). I usually would have been careful but i had had a little to drink and wasn’t feeling too good at the time. Tom hadn’t been home, I had grabbed up a dishtowel off the counter and pressed it to my upper arm.

I remember taping it there and crawling to the couch, thinking about money issues and how long I wanted to nap for. BAM there he was from nowhere, worried and asking me what happened. I remember him placing a hand on my forehead, and me telling him “Thanks hun, luv ya” drunkly. I got more tired and decided to rest my eyes a moment.

Tom

I looked at my roommate Chelsy and regret hit me hard. There she was standing only feet away from me, it was getting harder and harder every day just being around her. It might have been okay if not for the fact that she was perfect for me. After all how is it her fault that she was born looking like an angel with soft innocently feminine features and eyes that are so blue and searching. Even her hair is a natural shade of blonde with natural curves and waves that frame her face almost angelic really. I gave up on being with her but still was being driven crazy by lust.

In fact sometimes out (and sometimes even pretend to date) just so i could stay away from her so i wouldn’t scare her with constantly touching her. Even though it only took the edge off of the nights i get her in my mind and have to restrain from doing things dreams might allow. The nights i strip her with my eyes and imagine her saying those words she said when i had pressed my hand to her face with worry. Our breaths becoming more ragged in time with our heart beats playing along our skin, our bodies becoming one and moving in undying pleasure. My family warned me to not move in with her after i had fallen for her but i couldn’t resist the temptation.

The whole pack loves her and take every opportunity to scent and touch the one I love. Once Johnathan, one of my submissive males had been so bold as to ask her to court him. Lucky for him she politely refused or I might have had to kill and make an example of him. After that incident it was made clear to them all that she was mine. Her face looked questioning and i realized i had been staring into space and she just realized i wasn’t really all there.

“Sorry, what were you saying?” I asked ” Oh, I just was asking how much it cost so i can pitch in” she replied now distracted by the almost completely healed wound on her arm. “It didn’t cost enough to bother with sharing the expense” I replied lightly. I remembered running my tongue along her skin after i was sure she had went into a deep comatose like sleep, her blood filled my mouth as the tissue regenerated and my saliva glittered in the moons glow. I kept so many secrets from her, me being lycan and ulfric of a pack, and her being the only one i could ever love, my mate for life. No matter what she thinks.

Chelsy

As i stood closer to tom i saw in his eyes as he looked through the walls everything that could be, a dream of passion and endearment.

I knew that it’s just a dream, formed by lusts and it could never be anything else. As my eyes watered with the truth i remembered why i could never be close with another human being, especially one that had this kind of effect on me. My mom always said i was weird and that was the one thing that i agreed with her about. The yelling, nagging and screaming of two people that claimed they were once “in love” had forced me never to trust anyone that could effect you emotionally. I have never told Tom what happened to me growing up, i just told him i didn’t get along with my family and he kind of just accepted the answer.

I think that he knew there was more than that but he never pushed me to tell him anything, it was too good to be true, I can see that sooner or later, something would come back to haunt me.

Tom

For a second her eyes met mine and our thoughts mingled before her eyes started to water. Suddenly i was in front of her looking down into her eyes and i saw pain but not what caused it and she jumped causing to be that much closer to her. Her eyes found mine and looked away avoiding my gaze and it hurt to see her behaving so unconsciously submissive for a moment while i held in a growl from the wolf within me that kept screaming at me “TAKE HER!”.

I felt the fear and lust in her so much that it mirrored mine and i wanted to bury my face into the hair, neck and smell the light scent of her shampoo along with the smell of her skin. I held my breath, waiting for the sensations to go away while also wishing I could let the dog out. I was worried because this was the first year that we had been living together and i now knew it would be harder than ever because it was late February (Mating season for the wolf) though it really is just like P.M.S. only you turn into a wolf instead of a bitch (little joke to lighten the mood here). I was slowly loosing my self control. Luckily she interrupted by saying she was really tired so she would need a a quick shower then she would go right to bed.

“TV’s all yours.” I nodded and she smiled at me and turned around, ponytail and thighs swishing softly as she walked. Now i know how it is to be literally driven crazy. I walked the short distance to my room and shut the door, locking it behind me.

Chelsy

I trusted tom with my life but as far as temptation went i was cautious. Okay let me put it another way, you can have a piece of steak in the fridge and not eat it but if it puts itself on the grill for you lets just say it’s primal history. So what do you do when you are female and live with a male? Stay descent. I slipped out of my clothes and put on my favorite black night gown so i could walk out of my room to the shower and back without being totally exposed.

Hey i said i was a tomboy but that doesn’t mean I don’t like being a girl every once in a while. I grabbed a towel, opened the door and crossed the short hallway to the bathroom then closed and locked the door behind me once again. I had gotten out of my nightie and into the warm spray of the shower when i realized i had everything but my shampoo. “Shit” I said out loud. Then i remembered i had a roommate “Tom” I half yelled over the sound of the shower “what?” he said and i could have sworn he sounded frustrated. “I forgot my shampoo in my room can you get it for me please?” I heard him say “yea, where is it?” “on the dresser next to the window” I replied. I heard footsteps across the hall and my bedroom door opened.

I heard shuffling and my door closed then he knocked on the bathroom door. I wrapped the towel around my body and opened the door a crack reaching out with one hand. I felt the gravity of the extra object in my hand and i thanked tom but before i could close the door i felt the tingling sensation of fingers lightly tracing the thin skin on my wrist and i shuddered a moment before locking myself in “thanks again tom” i said. It must have been my imagination.

Tom

God what is wrong with me? I got the shampoo for her, waiting for the door to open and her to get it (maybe also hoping to see some “skin”). I wanted to leave it on the ground and walk away but i forced myself to stay despite my urges. I saw the crack in the door and that pale, delicate, female hand slid out to meet my eyes. Her fingers, her palm.

My mistake. My fingers were suddenly touching the soft skin on her wrist. I wanted to pull her from that room and caress every bit of skin i could with my mouth. Trace teeth along her inner thigh and higher. She shuttered and i closed my eyes as i grew hard and bit my tongue, forcing my fingers off of her and crept away into my bedroom “to get my mind off of her” i thought to myself, but the moment i thought of that i knew it was a lie. Tonight like every night since I met her, she would be the only thing on my mind.

Chelsy

I can’t believe how frustrated I am, I thought to myself. I knew that i had had a busy day at work but i think that isn’t the only thing causing this pain. I finally played with myself in the shower to relieve some of the tension i was feeling. I ran one hand up my stomach to caress my left breast even as the other made a lazy trail downward. My fingers found well known tender spots and started their way to bliss.

The hand that moved over my breast pinched and rubbed each nipple as i rolled with the pleasure and before my release i thought about tom as i panted and rode one orgasm after the other for the longest time until i worried that the water bill might be slightly higher this month.

Tom

I was so hard it was almost painful, so i started to jack to get rid of the most annoying erection i have ever had. She was in heat, i could taste it in the air but i had ignored the signs. Then I thought I smelled something tangy and intoxicating and started breathing heavier as i came to release and saw Chelsy in my mind her eyes going back with pleasure and as i was released i felt her go at the same time and i kept riding the pleasure over and over until i stopped and stared at the ceiling and sighed her name as i passed out over my crumpled sheets and missing quilt.

Chelsy

I slipped the night gown back on and started my way back to my room after brushing through my hair loosly and making sure it was at least somewhat dry. I stopped in between brushes when i heard what sounded like a dreaming dog. I followed the soft whimpers and grunts to toms room and i stopped outside the door. Luckily the door was open a enough for me to see inside so i did. At first i didn’t see tom but then i saw a body curled up in a tight ball on the bed. Sure, i’d been in his room a few times before but it seemed different this time…somehow.

I looked closer and saw the sheets crumpled under him and a couple blankets around the bed. Wow, i thought, he’s a messier sleeper than i am. “Are you okay tom?” I whispered. I walked towards him but stopped myself. why had i even gone in? It’s not like I don’t sometimes make noises in my sleep. i didn’t even remember moving forward, almost like it was automatic for me to do like i was safe near him, like he could save me from the pit i had dug for myself all those years before. I got closer to the bed and leaned toward the sleeping figure, i touched my hands to his hair.

When he didn’t wake i gave myself permission to to run my fingers through it, short and dark like forbidden chocolate. I leaned closer to smell him. That’s when he woke up or rather i felt him wake and i ran swift and quiet to my room closing and locking the door more just in case he had and wanted an explanation or something. I could hide from the truth, I’ve been hiding this long anyways, whats a lifetime of hiding from yourself do to you anyways? Probably nothing at all.

Tom

I felt fingers in my hair and knew who it was almost instantly? It was quite a surprise for me but apparently it was for her too because at some point she was gone and there was a semi wet towel sliding down the mattress. That’s when i knew she wanted me. In a new extra adrenaline feeling kind of way I said “fuck the consecuences” and went with the wolf.

I could smell her fright at what she had just done but she was also excited, i could hear her heartbeat pounding in her chest and her panting breaths. I started walking slowly towards her room and i couldn’t stop myself, i had lost all control. I hoped one day She would forgive me for what was about to happen.

Chelsy

I heard his soft, calculating footsteps against the floor get louder as he got closer and he tried the door. I got back from the door a little ways more as i heard his words all I could hear was the drumming of my heartbeat. I stayed away and eventuality ruined our relationship as friends anyways, I swore under my breath.

His voice came then, calm and clear “Chelsey, open the door” somehow i knew that wouldn’t be smart. “I can’t tom” i said knowing i said it loud enough “can’t?” he replied “yes…” i said “can’t”. I could feel his restraint, frustration and anger so i knew he must be thinking about or seriously considering breaking the door. That’s when i realized i really wasn’t hidden, not safe just a sardine in a can. “Can’t open the door physically which i doubt…or wont” he asked i thought seriously for a second “won’t”…”Why…” he said “why did you do that?” I shuddered and realized I couldn’t even say it out loud, my throat felt heavy and I wanted to throw up. His question would remain unanswered.

“I’m sorry you won’t Chelsy but i can’t not touch you, i just can’t restrain myself anymore and I’m sorry”. I heard him backing away from the door and knew what he was about to do and i quickly ran to my window. I opened it, grabbed the sill and started pudhing off to get out then heard the door nob fall to the ground. i scrambled and almost fell almost out when i felt him grab my ankle and pull me to him enough so that he could get a firmer grip on my upper calf. I tried to pull away but some part of me didn’t want to and that part of me gave tom enough time to pick me up and cradle me tight to him in his arms.

I’ve never been held so close by force and i realized i had underestimated his strength a lot. He placed me on the bed gently but it took some restraint and I could see that might be my only opprotunity to get away. I looked around and though of getting out the window again, but he had proven earlier that it would not work.

I then chose to put the bed between him and myself. I jumped quick as i could but by the time i turned he was facing me. I looked into his eyes saw his lust and power and i was shocked when i knew i had a mirroring expression. I shook myself and lowered my gaze. Sickened by the way I was acting.

Tom

I saw the disappointment then, like she had been a christian and was now atheist, like she had lost faith in herself. I felt terrible for one instant but it wouldn’t stick which made me angry. I loved her being here, now, with her scent and her body. I could feel her confusion and her arousal making me hotter now than ever.

All i wanted was to grab her to me and hold us together so it would feel like we had never been separated. We had once talked and laughed and pretended this wasn’t there but it was just hiding this whole time. You can’t hide from lust, you can run scream and protest but lust will always find you. Oh god how i wanted to rush to her and show her how to feel.

Chelsy

I saw him put one knee onto the bed “wait!” i said, he stopped moving and looked up at me.

I felt the urge to explain and i remembered that i had to make him not want me “We shouldn’t do this, we can’t do this. You don’t want me this way. You can’t.” I said. He didn’t look convinced just confused like he had already shown how much he wanted me, how much he needed me. He started crawling across the bed and lunged at me, i skipped away toward the corner of the bed as fast as humanly possible and grounded myself again. “Stop.” I said firm and cold like the rock i should be.

He sat and waited like a dog that impatiently awaited the reward of completing a trick, i just wish i wasn’t that treat. Or do i? As much as i did and didn’t want to have sex with tom i really didn’t want him to know why i never let anyone in, not even my best friend. “I can’t do this tom.” I said, Still looking more hungry than confused tom said “You wanted me all along? Do you have any idea ho much I wanted…want to be with you?” He asked as if he might not be completely sure. “No i don’t” i said “Just because you want something doesn’t mean…” He started crawling towards me then slower more gentle.

I closed my eyes and turned away, so he could not see me and i couldn’t see him. “No I refuse this, all of it.” He reached for me and i lept away too late, I didn’t know weather to be happy to touch him or terrified he could touch me. I blushed slightly pushing at him a little while he just held me. Tears in my eyes welled up and I held him back to accept his affection for a friend at least a friend I thouught, at least he doesn’t hate me. I got lost in the feel of him, his scent, his touch, his taste? I realized i was just caressing him holding him tighter than necessary. I traced a trail of fairy dust with my fingers along his back that made him pull back and look into my eyes. He had must have seen some sort of consent there because he pressed his face into my neck and i felt his breath and i tilted my head away so he had easier access.

For some reason I knew what he, and I were going to do and what it meant for us together and i didn’t worry anymore. Like a voice in my head said we were safe and that was all i needed to know and not to fight it. He nipped my neck then hard and i sucked in air. I knew then that i was lost in lust because i kissed a small, soft trail along his shoulder blade and i heard him growl. He pushed me against the bed once again and crawled towards me, this time…i stayed put.

Then his mouth was on mine, tongue begging me to open for him, eager searching. I did and he channeled lust into my depths and i wanted more. He bit my lower lip and sucked until i stifled a moan and he started kissing downward nipping and biting. He suddenly realized i was still wearing clothes, he ripped the black nightie from my body. He then came up close to me and looked at me for a moment before straddling me and started to pull at his pants zipper.

I realized i was inexperienced but i knew this would come naturally even to me. Holding me down still wary of my intentionns, he bent over me lower and lower till he got to my core and tasted me for the first time. I watched as he did it and he started exploring me as i got more wet from the feel of him. I squirmed under his touch fighting the noises that wanted to come out. He drew his tongue in and out slow at first then harder and longer.

Tom

I pressed my knee in between her thighs so she wouldn’t be able to close her legs, so i could taste her.

Her body moved sexily under my caress as i stuck first one finger then the other slowly stretching her tight. I could almost not believe the many years that her body waited to feel the pressure of mine and likewise. i made her shiver eyes closed slightly, fingers pulling at the sheets. We are mates, i thought to myself, we always have been, always will be. Her muscles clenched around my fingers as i pressed deep into her one more time.

I reached up to caress her face then, pressing my face down into her pouting red lips as we kissed long and rough like we were hungry for each other. I suddenly felt her fingers on me then as she lightly stroked me all of the way which drove me crazier then even hard stroking would have. I started bucking in her hands like velvet on my hard flesh. Then i took another surprise as my gentile mate took advantage of my sensitive state and pushed me off her motioning for me to stay as she crawled towards me with the lust fogging everything else, eyes almost glittering with need.

I watched her crawl slowly like she was stalking prey. The thought of that turned me on more, made me even more willing tentative as she crept close enough and licked up my length slowly. She then placed her mouth over the tip then lower till she couldn’t go any farther. She slides me slowly out from her lips and pauses where she caresses it with her tongue. My body wanted more and as if she knew what i wanted she placed one hand on me and balanced with the other.

Staring into my eyes she forced her mouth up and down me till my body jerked and she started to stroke me harder and faster until i came in between soft pouty lips. The pleasure of just her hand moving me made me stand and lunge at her, pressing her hard into the sheets with my body. I heard her sigh as our tongues met and tasted what the other had to offer.

Chelsy

The tastes of my fluids mixed with his and the need for him to be inside of me became greater. I pressed myself closer than ever to him and escaped his lips to bring my head down to his shoulders. I kissed and nipped there making his neck hair stand on end as i bit and sucked his skin almost to the point of drawing blood while he caressed my bottom. I heard him gasp and relax growing harder over me and i leaned back down pulling him partly with me. He kissed me and licked along my jaw, playing with the lobe of my ear. As I felt him press the tip into me I clenched my hands on his arms for a second as he did so very slowly.

I wanted him in me now so i struggled to press myself to him but he simply held me back as he pressed himself in little by little. This is his gift to me, I thought, showing he cares even when it is a small thing like taking my virginity. I felt my body adjusting to his size and i felt him pause at my hymen. He pulled in and out slowly over and over until i was reeling from the pressure of him massaging my walls. I moaned as he pressed slow but firmly into me as riding the pleasure and pain. Again he massaged my insides but this time i pressed against him hard making him grunt with the inertia. I gave it to him then with a bang and almost no pain.

I leaned forward and whispered “I want it all” and his eyes glowed with want as he pressed himself into me again. I had made it clear that i wanted merciless, primal sex and i was gonna get it. The pleasure of him speeding up as i rushed to meet him over and over again. I let a few soft moans escape me as the pleasure rose us higher and higher. Just as we organism together i felt him bury sharp teeth into my neck and i whimpered as he lapped the blood but kept fucking me harder and faster forcing gasps from my lips.

At the next orgasm he bit into his wrist and pressed his lips to mine as another wave of pleasure hit us. I felt empowered by the salty tinny taste of the blood and even felt it as it moved through my body. At that moment he forced himself hard into me and we climaxed together. His thick fluids rushed in to fill me.

He stayed for a moment then eased off and rolled me over onto his chest. I looked up at his face and saw our spent passion in his eyes before the world faded away leaving me in vast nothingness, bliss. As he caressed my cheek and before we both went to sleep I found peace.

Tom

As she met my gaze before drifting off, i felt her body relax in trust and exhaustion. I felt a burden leave as well, like the thought that i might never touch her again started vanishing altogether. The regret of not telling her of her beauty everyday was also receding to the depths where i would never need to think about it again.

I finally have peace i thought as reality fell away and sleep took me.