After Jack left as to not hear the seriousness of my condition I suppose. It took 20 minutes before Adam started to compose himself before he could speak. I knew something was wrong for his tears never stopped. Adam took my right hand again looking in my eyes.

“ Heath bro before I explain the serious part of your stupidity.” Adam paused glancing down at his wrist to only look back in my eyes continuing “ I want you to know you are not the only you to know pain.”

“ Adam I know I am not the only one, but please tell me what is going on.” I state as Adam shakes his head

“ Sorry Heath first your going to listen to my story.” My best friend tells me as I sigh

“ Alright tell me then after you better explain why Jack left.” I say seeing Adam nod

“ My pain I think is not so different from yours. I have tried so many times to commit my own suicide but it never worked.” He tells me letting go of my hand

I sit in bed looking at my brother as he starts to roll up his left sleeve. He has a wide band on his watch. You know I never thought about it, but he always wears long sleeve shirts and a wide banded watch. Adam sighs looking into my eyes as he removes the watch. I look at his left wrist and I see deep gashes and lots of them.

“Heath I know your pain bro, I had a bad childhood and when I was thirteen I tried to end it. Luckily for me if you will I was at school when I tried it and someone came into the restroom and they called the paramedics. I’ve tried multiple times,drinking til I passed out. Pills like you, shit I even tried to hang myself in the backyard that I grew up in.” States Adam as if we are talking about a assignment for class

I look at him wide eyed because he always seemed so peaceful and calm like everything was good in his life.

“ After a while I realized that I was only hurting myself and no one else. I stopped and made myself a promise…I was going to leave my hometown when I graduated and never look back. That place only holds bad memories. When I got here I was scared that I wouldn’t fit in, but then I met you in the cafeteria and I liked you right away. I thought here was a guy that might accept me and be my friend.” I look at him dumbfounded as it all starts to sink in before he continues,”Then I find out your my roomie, and we got along so well. You even took me to meet May and she treated me like family just like you and Jack. Heath i KNOW the pain and I’ve BEEN there. Please don’t try it again ok bro. I need you just like Jack, but you two are my only family and I don’t know what I’d do if i lost either of you.”

After finishing that statement Adam hugs me so tight that I swear he was trying to crush my ribs

I tap his shoulder to get him to lighten up which he does. I look at him in the face and tell him,

“ I promise you Adam I won’t try it again, but will find either you and Jack. I will find and talk with you guys if I ever feel overwhelmed ok?” Adam smiles which is something he only does around jack and me and I wonder who has hurt my brother so bad that he doesn’t talk to many people and lets even less into his heart

“ So are you going to tell me what is wrong with me?” I ask as he sighs getting serious

“ Ok all the pills you took had a affect on your heart.” He tells me as I nod before hearing more “ The doctor says that your heart can’t take a lot of shock. As if you get upset or overly stressed. He states that to him you could black out or have seizures. So he is going to put you on a medication to help keep you calm, plus help your heart stay strong. That is why Jack left as he is afraid that someday if you get overly angry you might die.”

I take in all that Adam tells me only to let out a sigh. I look to see he is even afraid of something happening to me.

“ Well guess we keep all the assholes as bro called them away, or tell them to shut up if they start the drama.” I say as he chuckles getting me to join him

“ Well since I told you might as well send Jack a text telling him the coast is clear.” Adam says getting out his phone

After he sends our bro a text. Adam and I start talking about Christmas. I watch the door open to a upset Jack. He comes over to us except on the left side of the bed I am in. He takes my left hand looking down in my eyes.

“ I am not going to yell, but if you ever pull this shit again I will stick my foot up your butt.” He tells me with a stern look

“ I promise you like I did Abs I will never do this again.” I tell him as he nods leaning down half hugging me as my stomach growls before he raises continuing “ Did you fart bro?”

“ No it’s my stomach growling.” I say seeing him shake his head

“ Did you fart ewww.” Jack says as I protest before he tries to sing

“ Wild Fart
You make my heart stink
You make everything smelly
Wild Fart”

Adam and I are laughing so hard as he tried to sing to the beat of Wild Thing. Jack is keeping his tune as I feel my ribs start to hurt. As Adam goes over to gag Jack.

“ Hey stop Adam bro. I’ll stop jeez just trying to lighten the mood.” Jack says as Adam stops

“ Good as our brother didn’t fart. He is hungry so go get him something to eat.” Adam says playing big brother

“ Hey why me? And besides it’s freaking 3 a.m on a early Saturday morning.” Jack says as my eyes widen

“ Really? That late at night how long was I out?” I ask getting some serious looks

“ Five hours bro, and yes we have been here the whole time.” Jack tells me a I am floored

“ Damn I am so sorry for spoiling the weekend.” I say getting a hit to my left leg

“ I hope that hurt as your more important then a weekend. So what about Christmas as in what are we doing?” Jack says asking Adam and I

I lay there thinking on Jack’s question when I smile to my two true friends.

“ We spend it at May’s….I mean my home. I think May would like us there all together.” I answer as both look at each other then at me

“ Likes that idea as it will be more comfortable, plus the kitchen will help me.” Jack says as Adam and I look with raised eye brows

“ What do you mean the kitchen will help you?” I ask as Adam agrees silently

“ Hey I know how to cook, and Christmas I will prove it.” Jack says as Adam looks at me concerned

“ Ok bro, but if it catches fire you will owe Heath a kitchen.” Adam says as I nod

“ I promise not to burn the kitchen up.” Jack says with a sincere look

“ Alright you can cook our meal, but what is it your cooking?” I ask getting a smile

“ Surf and Turf, baked potatoes, rolls and some kind of desert. What do you bro’s think?” Jack states as Adam and I think

I lay there thinking of desert. I look over at Adam to see he is thinking hard. I know what I want to get him that will make that face very happy. Would have to get two though for us all. I also think of how fortunate I am to have them both. I never thought in a million years these two would actually be here right now. Just shows I was so very wrong. I smile as I know of another idea I want to start on that will help me with my stress factor now. I feel such like a fool for trying to take my life, but only if I thought more clearly. I look up at the ceiling and hope two people hear me. As I send my thought quietly I speak from my soul. ‘ Sorry dad and grandma May for almost goofing up. And thank you lord for these two guys coming in my life as May did. I love you grandma and dad.’ I look to see Jack and Adam arguing over the remote for the t.v. as I chuckle. Yep this was going to be a interesting Christmas holiday.

I was released from the hospital on Sunday morning. The doctor wanted to keep me for observation. He gave me strict instructions, but also some pills to keep me calm. He stated I was not to get upset at any cost. Adam and Jack informed him I wouldn’t as they were my brothers and would make sure I stayed mellow and calm. He nods taking their promise as Jack drives Adam and I to my truck. I told them I wanted to go Christmas shopping for them. Adam tells me he didn’t want anything except us as close friends. I smile giving him a nod, but in the back of my mind I know what I am getting him for the holiday. I get in my truck, but not before promising to call if something happens. Jack says they will go ahead, and pick up what he needed for our Christmas meal. Once we split up going different directions I make my way to the place that Adam goes to get the cake he so much loves. He thinks Jack and I don’t know, but we do thinking it’s good for him to have happiness. Once I reach the nice little bakery I park going in to purchase two chocolate chip cakes. I smile to the image I have in my head of Adam’s face. After purchasing the cakes and leave I make my way to the mall.

That Sunday was nice as in finding the perfect gifts for my two friends who were my brothers. The next few days we stayed at my house enjoying the atmosphere relaxing. To Adam and my surprise we found Jack was a good cook. He let us in on that while growing up the family cook taught him how to prepare food before cooking it on the right temperature. Adam and I smiled knowing we had a chef in the family. I spent those few days before Christmas setting up a auto email system. I would write a email then give it a certain time and day to be sent. I thought of this idea knowing it would be better then calling those that I once knew as family.

We didn’t have a tree for Christmas as well there was still some hurt about going all that way for our first Christmas together. Adam came up behind me as I looked out the back double doors. He placed a hand on my shoulder to get my attention.

“ Heath bro we are here man to enjoy this time together. So get out of that thinking your doing.” He tells me as I shake my head

“ How the heck did you know?” I asked getting a chuckle

“ I can see it in your body language, and plus your facial expression. Think of this as a new start in life. Think of this place as the family home for the future.” Adam tells me as I take in the words

It’s at that moment Jack comes up on my right with a beer in his hand.

“ Hey man what are we talking about?” Jack asks as Adam and I chuckle

“ Family man as in this house as the place to start one. May told me one time she wanted a big family, but that dream didn’t come as her sons were killed. Her husband died leaving her alone, but then I came along.” I say thinking of that first day showing a smile

“ Bro you made her come alive man. Halloween showed it as she danced, laughed, and enjoyed the weekend.” Jack tells me as Adam nods

“ I know guys guess I was closer to her then I thought.” I say as Jack places his hand on my right shoulder

“ Heath you are, but she is never gone as long as you keep her there in your heart, and besides May is looking down on us. I wouldn’t doubt she’s in that kitchen wondering what I will cook for us tomorrow.” Jack says getting me to look towards the kitchen doorway

“ I agree with Jack bro. She will be standing in that kitchen wondering what you were thinking of letting our bro cook.” Adam says getting me to chuckle

“ Hey I am a good cook as you both admitted to it the past two days.” Jack says coming back to Adams statement

“ True, but I had to get our brother here to smile.” Adam says getting a chuckle from Jack

We stood there enjoying the moment. I smiled feeling May was also standing there with us in spirit. I sighed feeling tomorrow was going to be good. The rest of Christmas Eve was spent with us watching the movies May bought before she passed away. We laughed to the few that were hilarious. That night I slept soundly after taking my medication. My dreams were filled with joy seeing May, Adam, and Jack all in the living room. We were spending Christmas together feeling the love flow from one heart to the other.

Christmas morning was finally here as I was woken up by two crazy guys acting like kids. I looked to see it was 9 a.m. as both Adam and Jack were bouncing up and down on my bed. I laughed as they finally landed on each side of me. Jack was being his normal silly self playing the kid.

“ Daddy can we open our gifts please?” He says getting a laugh from Adam and I

“ Have you been good?” I ask in a deep voice as they laugh

“ You really have to ask that damn.” Jack says as we laugh out loud

After some minutes past we got out of the bed. They left to give me some time to wake up. I sat on the side of the bed wiping my eyes from their blurry state. I looked at the picture on the night stand. It was of May and I on the beach smiling at my phone. I smile thinking of that day, but feeling tears come from out of the blue.

“ Merry Christmas Grandma May, I love you.” I tell her feeling goose bumps traveling up my arms

After drying my tears I make my way to the bathroom to do my business. Once done I got dressed in some jeans and a warm shirt. I make my way down to see Adam and Jack already to open gifts which made me chuckle. Talk about not showing excitement they sure were. Jack already had my coffee ready as it sat on the coffee table. I went over on the couch to sit between them. I leaned forward to take a few sips of my coffee that tasted just right. Jack started handing Adam and I his gifts he gave us. Adam looked at small package at first before opening it. I watched to see what it was as my bro opened the small box. Once he had it opened his eyes went wide. I guess Jack noticed as he spoke up quick.

“ Adam what is it bro? Is it a bit too much or what?” Jack asked our quiet brother

“ No it’s just overwhelming man. I’ll be walking in style.” Adam says chuckling pulling the gold chain out

“ Damn Jack what were you thinking bro?” I ask giving him a shove

“ Hey I have to make sure my brother’s look good.” Jack tells me as I shake my head

I open mine to find I have the same chain. Adam laughs before he comments that we look like twins until Jack shows his.

“ Well shit were triplets.” I say getting laughs from them

Adam gets up at that moment to head up the stairs leaving Jack and I confused. After a few minutes he returns with his hands behind his back. Adam walks back over to the couch looking at us both.

“ You both know I can’t hardly afford anything as my money goes for my tuition.” Adam says only to get two nods before he continues “ So I made you both something instead.”

Adam pulls his hands back around holding two picture frames with pictures that were taken during Halloween of us with May. He hands one to Jack then the other to me. Jack and I are in awe looking at the detail in the wood.

“ I thought you couldn’t buy anything bro?” Jack asks getting a nod

“ I can’t, but I made the frames with 99 cent stuff. Look at the sides of the frame.” Adam tells us as Jack and I look

On the sides are all four of our names engraved in the wood. I feel the glass to find it’s the plastic kind. I am very astonished at how detailed he made these.

“ Adam bro you did one hell of a job on these. Mine is going by my bed.” Jack says getting a smile

I think for a moment before I get up going to the mantle. I place mine by the urn that holds May’s ashes. I turn to see both my friends looking at me.

“ If it’s ok with you two I want to place mine right here where it belongs.” I tell them getting smiles

“ Heath to me it looks good right there.” Adam says with a smile as Jack nods as my emo brother continues “ Now what about you buddy?”

I smile giving them a nod as I reach behind the urn to grab their gifts. I walk over handing the envelopes to each of my close friends. Both give me confused looks as I tell them to open them. I watch as they do only to see wide eyed smiles. Jack pulls out a key plus a gift card as does Adam.

“ Um what’s with the key, and the card Heath man?” Jack asks as Adam gives a questionable look

“ They keys are for here as I want you both to think of this house as home. The cards are 200 dollar gift cards. I tried to find the perfect gift, but there is no such thing that is more perfect then friendship.” I explain getting eyes of truth

“ You landed that on the mark.” Jack tells me as they both stand coming to me

We bro hug then look up and with happy voices say at the same time.

“ Merry Christmas Grandma we love you.” All three of us say in unison smiling

————————————————————————————————————-

Ellie’s POV: Noon on Christmas

I am sat between Tiffany and Selena as they both smile at the baby clothes they received. Kiko, Verna, and I bought the clothes so our grand baby could start on her wardrobe. Although Selena was pregnant as of last month so she wasn’t showing yet for any of us to know the sex of the little one she was going to carry. Her and Chris finally came to the point they could move forward, but were still hurt for what they had done. These past months has been hard as we all watch the door hoping the one family member would show up only to say he was home. I was looking at my email’s on my phone when one popped up. I read it as I heard Kiko and Verna gasp as I did.

“ What is it mom?” Tiffany asked Verna to see wide eyes

“ Ellie, Kiko did you just get what I did as of now?” She asked us getting nods

“ Mom what is it you three just got?” Chris asked me as I looked up with wide eyes

“ A email from Heath, but there is no place to reply or a email.” I answer seeing Nate go to Kiko

“ Let me see that darlin.” He says as Kiko hands her the cell phone

He looks at the email doing some technical stuff.

“ That smart ass he has it where no one can find him, or send a email back. Heath is too smart for his own good.” Nate says making us confused

“ What do you mean by smart for his own good?” I ask as Nate chuckles

“ He is using email A to send to email B. It’s like sending a email at a specific time and day.” Nate says confusing me more

“ Nate maybe in English that I can understand.” I exclaim as everyone laughs as I giggle

“ Dad means Heath set up email messages ahead of time to be sent on holidays, but using fake IP’s.” Selena tells me making sense

“ Oh ok so Nate why didn’t you say that in the first place.” I say as he shrugs handing Kiko’s phone back to her

“ So what does the email say?” Mike asks as I look at my girlfriends getting a nod

“ It says ‘ I hope your family has a wonderful holiday, Merry Christmas, Heath’. I tell them all getting smiles

“ At least we know he is still alive.” Ricky says getting nods

I nod, but a big part of me wished my god son was here instead. I love him so much as my son. I keep thinking maybe if I just did something. Maybe if I called before this all happened he would be here. If only he came here the day after maybe I could of helped him in someway. And that dream I had Friday night didn’t help. Greg telling me Heath needed us more. What did he mean by that. My heart was in pain as my other son wasn’t here for the first time to receive his gift from me. I just hope Heath was safe and enjoying this day with others. I prayed he wasn’t alone. I looked at his picture on the wall after getting a new frame. I looked at the blue eyes and in my mind spoke from my heart. ‘ Heath if you can hear me in your heart. Just know your god parents love you deeply. Merry Christmas my loving Heath’.

===================================================================

Tiffany’s POV: Around 1 p.m. Christmas

As my family talk about the baby, and other things. I focus on the man I love hoping he is safe and happy. Once I found out I was pregnant from that first doctor visit I made sure to start eating right. I want Heath and my baby to be born with no problems. Every day I make sure to tell her of the man that I hope she will be like. Smart, caring, and love the family that stays strong. I have learned from my mistake all those months ago. I have stayed strong avoiding the other sex. I have focused my life in a positive way by decorating the nursery for the baby. So far it’s coming along very well. I have even placed a big enough picture of Heath on the wall above the crib. I intend to tell my baby all about her father. The times we shared during the summers. The times on the flights to the school as well as home. How he cared for those around him besides loving them with his heart. Oh Heath where are you? Why haven’t you called or wrote me. I am so sorry for my mistakes, and also the hurt I had caused. I just hope we meet again one day to me a family. I still love you with all my heart. I hope you can still feel my love that I have always held in my heart for you. I love you Heath so very much. As I said those words I felt a kick. My eyes went wide as I felt another kick.

“ Tiffany honey you ok?” My mother asks as I massage my belly

“ The Baby…she kicked. She kicked when I thought of Heath.” I tell her seeing her smile

“ Aww she hears what your thinking honey. You both are connected, and when you think of Heath she is going to respond.” My mother tells me as I look at my belly

“ You think she knows who her father is already?” I ask as Ellie turns to look at me

“ Tiffany, she doesn’t exactly know as she is sensing what you feel. Just keep talking to her as she will learn more of the man who is her father.” My other god mother tells me

As I take in all that they tell me I feel my baby kick again. I smile at this knew sensation feeling my baby kick. I love this new look at being pregnant as I hope we grow closer each day.

=====================================================================

Maggie’s POV: 2 p.m. as the day continues

The day as gone by with happiness and joy. My family has shown their love through the years, but still I feel a loss in my heart. Michelle and Travis are happy with how the past few years have turned out being in our new home away from the west coast. My husband Tyrone has made it a point that I was a stay at home wife and mother. I have enjoyed the past years, but again I have this loss that cannot be filled. That loss is of my son Heath as he is not here with me. Michelle and Travis told me he wanted to finish private school after they came back from their trip that March before I got married. He told them of his plans for college in California, but the letters he sent tell me other things as he didn’t want to be a part of this family. I miss him so much as my heart aches to hold him again. And the dream that haunts me of my deceased husband saying our son was on a path that Greg did not want him on, but yet he wouldn’t tell me where Heath was. The gravestone scared me to the point of fear. I have wept in private that my son is alive, and safe wanting to be with his family. Christmas is about family being together. As I sit on the couch between my kids I can only hope my son is thinking of me as I think of him. I am brought out of my thoughts as my daughter hands me a long slender gift.

“ This is from Travis and I mom.” Michelle tells me as I give her a small grin

“ Thank you honey.” I tell her as I open the gift

After I open it removing the wrapping my eyes go wide as it’s a locket in the shape of a heart. I look at the engraving that says ‘ We love you mom’. I open it up only to see a small picture of the two of them. I feel shocked as there is no picture of Heath. My heart seems to sink at that point, but I don’t show my sadness as I give them a fake smile.
“ Thank you both for this. I love you both so much.” I tell them with a half lie

“ We love you mom.” They both say in unison giving me hugs

After the hugs are done I look at the locket as my eyes fill with tears. I excuse myself as I need a moment to compose myself. I make my way out of the living room only to seek out my own private space. I made one of the guest rooms as my own den. Tyrone never questioned me about this decision as he had his own. Once in the room I lock the door only to move over to the rocking chair that was my mothers. As I get comfortable in the chair I take the key that is hidden under the side of the cushion to open the footlocker that was once Greg’s. I unlock the lock to open the top. I look inside for the only picture I was able to save. The picture is of my family before the love of my life passed away. I look at it once in my lap seeing the five smiles that have aged the past years. Greg is standing with Michelle and Travis as I hold Heath in my lap. His bright blue eyes looking at me make me wish he was here right now. As I hear a old song from the past I catch the lyrics they play.

On a stormy sea of moving emotion
Tossed about, I’m like a ship on the ocean
I set a course for winds of fortune,
But I hear the voices say

Carry on my wayward son
There’ll be peace when you are done
Lay your weary head to rest
Don’t you cry no more no!

As those words play I cry with blurry eyes as the only person I see in the picture is Heath. His eyes still bright I feel my heart ache for his arms. I hold the picture close to my chest. My eyes look out towards the east along the snow. I only say the words that mean so much between a mother and son.

“ Heath my bright blue eyed boy please hear me. Please feel my love that has never left you. Please be safe for I so dearly love you.” I say those words with tears that never stop

=====================================================================

Christmas ended with a great meal that Jack made. As for dessert well we had a happy Adam as I had gotten his favorite a chocolate chip cake. By the time we all went to bed he almost had it gone. Jack and I laughed calling him a pig in which Adam just shrugged with a happy grin. After that night we stayed at the Beach house until the day before college started back up. During the month of January I started a online business named HT LLC. The T standing for my last name. I figured why not as it would give me something to do. It was nice getting back into the field I wanted to be a business man. I started selling the same kind of thing I did years before, but on a better design. I sold in quantity as some didn’t on the east coast. I figured it would also help with my projects the professors may give me.

January was filled with Jack, Adam, and I being a family. We spent our weekends at the beach house which made it relaxing. Although on campus everyone was already talking about Spring Break. Jack even brought it up in which Adam just shook his head as did I. As January left February came in which brought Valentines day. I didn’t care much for the day from the past that still haunted my thoughts. Jack tried to get me to go with him and Adam to some party, but I told him no as I had work to do. He just shrugged his shoulders saying it’s all good. I watched them leave telling them to have fun. That evening I spent it on my laptop watching products be sold, as the money went to my bank account. With what I had already, and plus what Grandma May had willed to me. I had enough money that if I wanted to retire, and live the simple life I could. But in the back of my head I wanted to have more so if one day I got with someone, and started a family we would be set with a relaxing way of life. After a few hours of business I decided to turn in early around 9 p.m. Laying in bed I look up staring at the ceiling. My mind starts thinking if things were different if Tiffany and I would still be together. Then the scene that still haunts me shows up in my memories. I shake my head knowing we would never be as Tiffany would just sneak off to be with that bastard Chris. She could have him and Selena for all I care. As that saying says once a cheat always a cheat. I close my eyes to think of better things. Once I start dreaming I smile seeing the beach with me sitting alone watching the waves.

February left bringing March, and with it brought Spring Break. The first Friday of March around 4 p.m. Jack came in my room at college with a smile on his face.

“ Bro get packed we are going to Virginia Beach for the next week.” Jack tells me as I look up

“ I can’t man I have work to do.” I tell him getting a shake of his head

“ Bull shit man you can take sometime off to have fun.” Jack says as I see his eyes

I think of what he says looking back at my laptop. I give out a sigh then show a smile.

“ Ok bro just a few days is that alright?” I ask getting a nod

“ Yep so get packed as Adam is already packed as I am.” He tells me as my eyes grow wide

“ You already packed dang bro.” I tell him getting a smile

“ Yep so hurry up I’m driving.” He tells me as I shake my head watching him leave my room

After about a hour of getting packed, and grabbing my laptop. Jack, Adam, and I are on the way to our spring break destination. I am sitting in the passenger seat as Adam is in the back seat. Jack is driving down the coast to Virginia Beach. He booked us a room for about a week. I asked how he had the money. Jack answered by saying he gets money from his mother just to stay away. I turned to look at him with concern as Adam did.
“ What do you mean stay away?” I ask as Jack goes quiet for a moment

Adam and I just listen to the music waiting for our best friends response. He pulls over into a gas station parking on the side. Jack turns his car off then turns to look at us both.

“ Look the reason I act as I do is because my parents were hardly around. They say they love me, but growing up I never saw that love. My mother puts money on my card every month. I guess it’s her way of showing me she still cares.” He pauses looking out the windshield then looks back at us continuing “ I come from money, but want the simple way’s of life. I don’t like to show I have money, but if I am going to have it then I will spend it the right way. The last two month’s I have been thinking us three are like orphans. We have families, but they don’t show their heads. They left us, or left us alone. Heath, Adam you guys are my family as I see it.”

Jack says as I look into his eyes. I see hurt, pain, but love for Adam and I. I turn to look at Adam who nods to me before i return my eyes to Jack.

“ So you going to get this car back on the road, or are we walking?” I ask seeing Jack’s eyes light up

“ VIRGINIA BEACH HERE WE COME!” Jack yells as Adam and I laugh

After that Jack started the Party Machine in which he named up. He got back on the road making our way to the place he chose. That ride was full of us talking about what all to do this coming week. Adam stayed quiet the whole time I guess to think on our friends words. As I listened to the music I smiled knowing this week would be nice with the two guys that were my family.

Slow ride, take it easy
Slow ride, take it easy
Slow ride, take it easy
Slow ride, take it easy

I’m in the mood
The rhythm is right
Move to the music
We can roll all night

Oooh slow ride
Oooh

Slow ride, take it easy
Slow ride, take it easy

As that song plays I smile seeing the lights in the distance after a few hours of riding in my bro Jack’s car.
After the weekend of getting settled into Spring Break. Jack, Adam, and I sight see the different places for us to hang out. It’s Monday around 3 p.m. that we walk by a tattoo parlor. Jack stops making Adam and I do the same. I see him get a sparkle in his eyes.

“ Hey bro’s lets get the same tattoos.” Jack says looking at the both of us

“ What are you crazy bro?” Adam asks with a hint of puzzlement

“ No I’m not crazy as it would show we are family. What do you both say?” Jack as as I look from him to Adam

I stand there for a few seconds then smile at my friends.

“ Hell why not might be fun, but I get to chose the tattoo.” I say getting nods from them both

We walk in to be greeted by a young woman in a bikini. She has some nice tattoos across her stomach, arms, legs and neck.

“ May I help you three cutie’s?” She asks as I see Jack staring at her

Adam and I chuckle getting his attention.

“ Oh sorry for staring ma’am.” Jack says blushing as she giggles

“ It’s ok honey so what can I help you with.” She asks looking at us three

She stands 5‘8, 145 lbs, long blonde hair with blue eyes. I step up to the counter to speak.

“ Yes, my friends and I would like to get the same tattoo.” I exclaim as she looks at us three

“ You three aren’t you know?” She states asking me getting chuckles

“ Oh no we aren’t what you think. Look we want to get a tattoo like showing were family.” I exclaim as the young woman smiles nodding

“ So any idea of what you would like?” She asks getting my mind to think

“ May I ask your name beautiful?” Jack asks while I look around at the tattoo pictures

“ Marissa, and sorry I am already taken babe.” She answers as I see Jack go sad

“ Well guess that teaches you bro.” Adam says as I chuckle

“ It’s all good didn’t hurt to ask for the name of a beauty.” Jack says making Marissa blush

“ Uh thank you as my wife thinks so to.” She says catching Jack and Adam’s attention

“ So your a.” Jack tries to say as Adam covers his mouth with a hand

“ A lesbian yes I am sorry if I made you think different.” She says as I finally shake my head

“ It’s all ok Marissa my brother here just like’s to compliment a beautiful woman.” I say as Jack blushes

“ Aww that’s very nice so have you decided?” She asks getting a nod

“ Yeah a tribal shark black and red.” I say as I see her smile

“ Nice choice honey so all of you getting them today?” Marissa asks getting nods from us

“ Cool my wife will be happy to do your ink.” She says as I nod to thank her

She asks who is first look at the three of us. I answer by saying I am as Marissa has me follow. I am shown to a chair only to see the tattoo artist is a lady in her 30‘s, 5‘7, 120 lbs, long wavy brown hair with brown eyes. Her skin is tanned looking Latina. I find out her name in Juanita. Marissa tells her what I want to have. Juanita smiles telling me to wait here as she goes to draw it out. It’s not long she comes back showing me her design. I look at the finished result smiling giving her a nod. She tells me just one more thing before leaving again. After a few minutes she comes back asking where I want the tattoo. I look at my upper body and decide on my left upper arm. She smiles as I watch her start getting ready. She begins with small talk until I hear my friends laugh from the other room. I smile knowing everything was going to be just fine.

After a few hours Jack, Adam, and I walked out after thanking Marissa and Juanita for the tattoo’s. They smiled telling us we were welcome. We each got the tattoo in the same place. Adam hid his wrist very good wearing a button up long sleeve shirt. I was the only one still to know of his scars. On the way back to our motel room we got dinner for the evening. By the time we arrived in our room it was 9 p.m. We talked about the next few days. I had to take my medication to keep my heart and nerves calm. We each had a problem sleeping that night with a pain from the fresh ink on our arms. That night I had a dream that I never had before. Like usual I was on the beach sitting in the normal spot. Watching the waves collide onto the sand I felt a hand on my right shoulder. I turned to see my dad smiling as he sat next to me.

“ Dad what…what are you doing here?” I ask seeing him chuckle

“ I came to see my son who I deeply love.” He tells me as I smile wide as he continued “ Heath I want to say I am proud that your starting to come to terms with May’s death as you did mine years ago.”

“ How…how do you know May?” I ask seeing a smile

“ Son she is where I am so that’s how. She sends her love by the way.” He tells me answering my question

“ Oh ok I forgot, but what brings you here, and I am not totally over Grandma May’s death.” I say with my head lowered

“ I know I said starting to not over her death. As for me being here well just thought I would watch the waves with you.” He tells me as I smile at his words

That dream soothes me knowing my father is and will always be with me no matter what my life throws at me. We talked like when he was alive. I know it was a dream, but to me this felt real.

————————————————————————————————————

Tiffany’s POV: Later that night

I am in the delivery room giving birth to my baby. The pain is beyond what my mother, and the others told me. I can feel my labia lips stretching wide. The doctor is telling me to push as my mother and god mother Kiko hold my hands. Oh god the pain hurts giving birth. The doctor has me hold as I feel my baby coming out. I wanted to experience this, but I didn’t expect this.

“ Ok Tiffany the worst part is over with just one more push.” she tells me as I push one more time

“ OH GODDDDDDDD!” I yell as I push the baby I carried 9 months finally comes out

I lay back as the doctor checks my baby when I hear her start crying. I look down not able to see anything until after I see my mother step over to cut the cord. Once down the doctor hands the little bundle of joy to the nurse. I watch the nurse take my baby over to clean her off. I lay there thinking of this whole day that went by. I had thoughts of Heath looking at his face that came from my memories. His voice I heard all those times as we spoke over a year ago. The nurse bring my baby to me placing her in my arms. I look in her beautiful face for the first time.

“ Hey beautiful it’s nice to finally see you.” I say seeing her finally open her eyes

I gasp as my own eyes grow wide.

“ Tiffany what is it honey?” My mother asks stepping closer to see before she continues “ Oh my her eyes are just like Heath’s.’

“ No way they are really?” Kiko says looking intently

“ Well just shows who her father is.” Ellie says giggling coming over

They all smile paying attention to their grand baby.After a bit the nurse steps over with a clipboard.

“ Honey have you thought of a name for your baby girl?” She asks with a smile

I look at my baby seeing her eyes, tiny nose, and ears. Her hair has a mixture of black with red tints. I look up between all the mothers.

“ Tiffany hun this is on you honey.” Ellie tells me as I look at the nurse

“ Karen Summer Thompson.” I respond getting smiles from the mothers

“ That is a beautiful name hun.” The nurse says writing the name down

After the nurse, Kiko, and Ellie leave my mother stays with me as I breast feed my baby. I hear a song come to my head as I hold this beautiful baby.

How the hell did we wind up like this?
Why weren’t we able, to see the signs that we missed
And try turn the tables

I wish you’d unclench your fists, and unpack your suitcase
Lately there’s been too much of this
But don’t think it’s too late

Nothing’s wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
I’m gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you’re wondering when
(You’re the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I’m gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you’re wondering when

Well I’d hope that since we’re here anyway
That we could end up saying
Things we’ve always needed to say
So we could end up staying
Now the story’s played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let’s rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothing’s wrong, just as long as
You know that someday I will

Someday, somehow
I’m gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you’re wondering when
(You’re the only one who knows that)
Someday, somehow
I’m gonna make it all right but not right now
I know you’re wondering when
(You’re the only one who knows that)

As I hear that song in my head I feel my tears falling wishing Karen’s father was here. Holding her in my arms brings me happiness, joy, and love, but even more because she has Heath’s eyes. Karen’s is just as bright as she opens them ever so often.

“ Tiffany what’s wrong honey bunch?” My mother asks as I look up at her with blurry eyes

“ I miss him mom so very much. I can’t get him out of my heart or soul. I want him here to see this beautiful little girl so much. Why doesn’t he call me momma?” I ask feeling my tears fall even more

“ Honey I know you do love him. You have shown that by staying true to him even though he is gone. Tiffany you have this beautiful baby girl to focus on to help time go by until Heath comes back into your life as well as Karen’s.” My mother tells me sitting by me

“ I know mom it just hurts so much.” I say as my mother nods

“ that’s because it’s called love honey so keep hold of that, but focus on Karen for now until her father shows up one day.” Mom tells me as I look to see Karen with one eye looking at me

She is now my focus to give her all I can. I hold her little hand as she feeds from my left breast. I can’t help, but smile feeling her hand wrap around my finger. With a motherly voice I speak to this bundle of joy in my arm.

“ I love you my little Karen as much as your father will once he sees your precious eyes.” I tell her with a smile as I see her show a small one

That moment I don’t care how long it takes me I plan to bring daughter and father together so we can finally become a family.

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