I always made myself up with a lot of make up, short skirts or short shorts, lots of cleavage. Asking for it I guess. Even though he didn’t come in me I wanted to be positive I wasn’t pregnant. I took a test and it came back negative. After that night, I got on birth control. I took the next few days off, then went back to school. When I would see him in the halls, I just nodded hello but I never did talk to Sarah the same way again.

I realized I had two choices and I needed to make a decision. I could have hid behind baggy clothes, sit in the back of classes, never talk to anyone and be uncomfortable for the rest of my life or I can put it all behind me and move on. I realized I can get pleasure from sex but it would have to be on my terms. Who, how, and when. I would have to make sure nothing like that ever happened again. I had already cut my hair out of anger. I would not let these assholes ruin my life and take away who I am. I dressed as I pleased, saw who I wanted, and I get to choose who I have sex with. I will not change for them.

Since then, Sarah and Nate seemed to have switched roles in my life. Sarah would dip and Nate would stick around and hang. Granted I never did talk to Nate and he did seem sincere. Its childish I know but I still have not figured out where he went when it all happened. I just did not know what to think. And he also seemed confused at Sarah’s behavior and how things have changed between us.

“Hey, Annabell,” Nate said, sitting down on the opposite end of the couch. “What ya watchin’? ” We were in the den of the guest house were normally no one would enter, so it became my safe haven. Now Nate seemed to be intruding. I was watching an ‘I Love Lucy’ marathon that happened to be airing only today, but since it was pretty obvious I said nothing. I could feel him looking at my profile but pretended to ignore him.

“Are you…” he stopped, his eyebrows bunching in frustration. “Do you ever….” He sighed in resignation and looked at the TV. Truth is, I have always liked Nate. No matter how big of an ass he was in the beginning, he always intrigued me. He was my first crush. Slowly over time, once I realized that he wasn’t going to change and he always wanted to leave, I planned to move on. The feelings I had disappeared little by little.

Nate, seeing I was lost in thought, grabbed the remote from my lap, turned off the TV and sat on the coffee table in front of me. It took me by surprise. Nate grew considerably since I had first arrived here. Hazel eyes stared into mine fighting for attention. His jet-black hair in a disarray, as if he ran his fingers threw it repeatedly. If you concentrate and look closely enough, you can see a splatter of freckles across his nose and cheek-bones. His biceps bulging as he rested his elbows on his knees. He looked older than the 18 year old he was.

“…Annabell?” From the tone of his voice, I knew he has been talking and calling my name while I was concentrating on him. Focus, Annabell!!!, I berate myself. I look up into his eyes and force my gaze to stay there. When he says nothing further, I try to stand but he pushes me back down.

“No, wait. I don’t know what happened, okay? I’m sorry. I’m her for you! I’m sorry I wasn’t i—“ he grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. I’m sorry I wasn’t in the beginning. I would change that if I could. I never imagined you would get hurt and I’m sorry you did. I wish I was a better brother to you.” His thumb caressed my cheek. “Talk to me…” he whispered. I sat there thinking of what to say. Taking my silence as a no, he leaned back breaking all contact. I wanted to whine at the loss and it confused the hell out of me.

“You know where to find me if you change your mind. He stood and walked away. Before he left the room he turned his head looking back. “Oh and by the way. I hate what you’ve done to your hair,” and with that he left.

I raised my hand to my hair. Oh I’m in trouble, I thought.

****
NATE
****

As I walked away, I started to think. Honestly, I couldn’t remember a time when Annabell wasn’t happy. That night when she came home looking battered and broken, tore me to pieces. She tried to hide it but every time I look into her eyes, I can see the pain that rest there. And I want to take all of her pain away. I want to make every thing right. Like it should have been, from the very beginning.

I want a lot but to doo all of that,…I need to make a plan…

****
ANNABELL
****

I tossed and turned in my bed, to much on my mind to sleep. I turned to my side and looked at the clock mounted on my wall. The glow in the dark number indicated that it was only two in the morning. I walked downstairs to the kitchen. I leaned against the counter holding a cup of oj in one hand and playing with my short hair with the other. I wonder what has gotten into Nate, I thought. He’s completely changed. He’s giving me lots of attention and I’ve been ignoring him. And this afternoon… He seemed to have really cared. Could it really just be concern? Am I just— Not paying any particular attention to the juice, the glass tilted and spilled all over the floor. Putting the glass down on the counter, I grab a rag from the sink and kneel to clean it. While I knelt, I heard a creek from the stairwell. I hurried up and turned off the over head light and went back on all fours. I crawled for no particular reason behind the center island. I don’t know why I just did. I heard the door to the side walkway open and then some murmuring. The talking stopped but I still didn’t get up. I crawled to one of the entrances of the kitchen (which has like three doorways. One to the living room, one to the den and one to the stairway.) that leads to the living room. What I saw next floored me. Nate was making out on the couch with a blonde. Its dark, but I can tell she was pretty…well somewhat. I don’t think you can really judge a person when they’re tonguing someone’s mouth… She ran her hand along Nate’s chest, stomach and legs.

“What. The. Hell,” I mouth, still transfixed on the couple before me. I could not believe what was happening. Her hand kept moving back and forth, caressing until it reached the bulge in his shorts. And judging by the bulge, he had a huge package. She gave it a nice squeeze. Nate must have done something that indicated to hurry because the next thing I knew she was on the floor kneeling between his legs and he was raising his ass and taking his shorts and underwear down in one go.

I felt the heat rush to my face as I took in the sight of his cock. Thickly veined and red in color. Oh, I’d say he’s well over 7 but I couldn’t put an exact measurement to it. The girl reached out and gave his dick a couple of stokes. I couldn’t help but notice how small her hands were. She leaned down and licked his cock and balls. She sucked in his balls, bathing them in her spit. Her one hand played with the head of his penis and Nate groaned leaning his head back and closing his eyes. She swirled her tongue under the sensitive tip then put the head in her mouth and sucked. She turned a certain way that blocked my view, but by the way her head was bobbing, she was able to take him deep. Nate held her head still as he thrust deep into her mouth quickly.

Nate balled up her hair in his fist and for the first time in two years, I was angry at the fact that I cut my hair. I got this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and crawled away. I slid threw the door of the kitchen and then up the stair. I knew which creaked and which didn’t so I didn’t have to worry about being caught looking. Making my way to the bedroom and shutting the door, I flung myself on the bed. I replayed what just happened and that sick feeling returned. I can’t be jealous, I thought. He’s my brother. He doesn’t want me anyway… The more I thought about it, I realized, the hornier I became. I was confused as ever. Its not like we’re blood, I thought. I wonder what would happen if I try to seduce him…

I sat up, stripped out of my shirt, and laid back down. I only had on my panties. Sliding one hand along my stomach up to my chest, I slowly start to rub my tits. I circle a finger around my erect nipple and gasp. My eyes drift shut and I see Nate kneeling on the floor in front of me while I play with myself in front of him. His expression is heavy with lust. His eyes going dark with whatever emotion he wont say aloud. He licks his lips a few times and I swear the thought along brought me to the brink. His gaze is locked onto my hands.

The tips of my nails rasp against the sensitive flesh of my lower stomach. I moaned. My fingers trailed to banded of my panties pushing slowly beneath them. I tease myself, a feather light touch, over the short soft curls at the top of my mound. The waxed flesh of my lips feel swollen and flushed as my juices leak out. I knew better than to carry on as I am. To tease myself with just a thought. What if he says no…. I push the involuntary though to the back of my brain. I bite my lip, the need rising within me. My fingers slid lower. Any touch would be better than none, right? I ask myself. Has to be… My fingers stroke over my clit as my breath catches at the intense feeling that rises. I feel a tingle throughout my body. Swollen and thick, the little bud is just begging for release. I let my fingers trail threw the wet slicken folds of my pussy. My hips lift to my own touch as my fingers slide lower. I let a finger dip into the clenched heated depth of my pussy. delicate muscles pinched my fingers, spasm, and clenched, holding on with everything. Pleasure shot threw me.

I breathed in a rough breath as I push my finger deeper. In my minds eye, Nate is the one who is transfixed. His eyes follow my every move. He rips off his pants and underwear, cock springing free wanting to join my fingers in their game of hide and seek. Standing out from his body, thick, veined and erect, the head dark and shiny with pre-cum. He palms his heavy shaft. Long broad fingers stroke his erection as he watches me with narrow eyes. My fingers slide across the dewy flesh of my lips, gliding along the silken juices that ease their way until they rasp against my swollen clit again. My release, a strangled breath away, as I imagined his lips covering mine, his tongue licking, stroking, probing. I gasped as my fingers moved faster, more firmly against my clit as I felt my release peaking. My head tossed on the pillow, fingers driving me higher. I imagined him moving over me, his cock, big and hot, sliding though my wet folds, pushing forward, stretching me, taking me…

My hips arched as the explosion tore through me. Pleasure singing through my blood. I whimpered as my stomach and pussy trembled. My hand fell back to the bed as I took a deep, weary and well needed breath.. As I went over everything in my head I got scared. He’s the one man I can’t let myself have. He’s all I ever wanted, all I ever needed… but I just have to have him. Laying there exhausted, I made up my mind. If I could come that hard just thinking of his cock…I want him in me….

I opened my eyes and stared up at the ceiling for what felt like hours but was only minutes. Getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom, I stripped out of my cum covered panties and tossed them in the hamper by the sink. I quickly wash myself then toss on a large tshirt. Waling back to my room, I hear footsteps in the hall, so Nate must have finished as well. Another pang but I just shake it off. I head back to my bed with my new plan in mind….