Introduction:
The Most Painful Gift – CAW 9
by Duskshade
11/25/2011-
Her name was Noelle and she was lost in guilt and pleasure as her lover licked her clitoris, sending her hips upward in pleasure and her heart downward. The small gold ring of her triangle piercing wiggled up and down as the girl between Noelle’s legs licked her clit with earnest. Noelle’s hands caressed her breasts, tweaking each nipple that was pierced and set with a flaming sun nipple shield. She looked down past the small landing strip she maintained – bald pussy was sexy, but some hair made it look like a woman’s pussy.
The girl in between Noelle’s legs had a name – her email name said Buttercup Florin but Noelle knew it was fake – as fake as her own Leigh Christmas alias. Buttercup was short, petite and Mexicana – lush body, soft dark skin with sexy breasts and a round, curvy ass, a complete contrast to Noelle’s pale skin, flaming red hair and long, tall body. Noelle had no idea who she really was – it was something to put into gmail to make sure that no one knew it was her. No one would be the wiser about Noelle’s dalliances – the likes of which she could never let go of, even after ten years of marriage. It was her sexy, dirty secret that she liked to fuck girls. She would even love some of them, but they never lasted. It didn’t have to at the moment. Buttercup smelled like a cheap whore and fucked like an experienced one and Noelle liked the tawdriness of it all.
Buttercup worked a finger inside Noelle and found her G-spot, tingling and swollen in her vaginal canal. Noelle moaned and fisted hair in her hands, her wedding ring emeralds twinkling like Buttercup’s green eyes. After a long moment, Noelle groaned through a long, well-stimulated orgasm, a deep, groaning release that only a girl could draw from her.
Buttercup came up, her chin and lips slicked with Noelle’s pleasure. They kissed and rubbed, Noelle relishing the smooth, lush skin and plump breasts. Buttercup sucked hard on Noelle’s neck for a moment, teasing like she would mark Noelle. Noelle eased her back, though before she could, and leaned forward. Buttercup’s nipples went into Noelle’s mouth, suckling and tickling as she lavished sapphic lust on Buttercup’s dusky skin.
Noelle kissed her way down, nipping at the sensitive skin over each hip, and kissing the sensitive inner skin of Buttercup’s inner thigh. She was completely smooth, Brazilian waxed and baby-soft skin. Noelle relished the taste of Buttercup’s fluids as she began to pleasure Buttercup, each kiss, nibble, and lick exploring and stimulating Buttercup’s pleasure as she moaned and groaned.
Noelle’s eye caught the cheap neutral bedspread pattern – the same as a dozen other no-tell motel spreads that she’d seen over the years. She felt a pang of guilt again, but subsumed it as wet pussy ground against her face and lips – she loved the scent of well-aroused pussy. God, she thought as she slipped a hand between her own legs and began playing her own stiff little clit, how did she think she could even go without being a woman again?
She lost herself in her pleasure and Buttercup’s hot body, not thinking about her life outside of this little cocoon of this little motel room and the anonymous hot body under her. Noelle felt Buttercup’s body tensing as she began to buck furiously and Noelle rubbed herself to her own wet climax. Noelle felt her pleasure explode as Buttercup’s hips flew upward, and held there as she groaned out a final orgasm, her hips frozen for a moment until she pistoned back and forth.
Noelle slid upwards, basking in the slickness, the smooth skin, the rightness of her pleasure with another woman. After a few minutes of kissing, Buttercup sat up, sighing with satisfaction.
“Wow that was great!”
Noelle stretched, ignoring a germ of regret, even with such a sexy woman. “Yeah, that was nice. I haven’t cum like that in a long time.”
“So, you wanna do it again sometime?”
Noelle blinked at that. “What?”
“That was really good. It’s hard to find someone you click with, right? Well, that was the best sex I have ever had and I definitely want to do it again.” Noelle wasn’t sure. Buttercup was bubbly and happy, unlike Noelle’s more reserved normal demeanor.
Noelle looked at Buttercup. “I don’t know. I don’t even know your real name.”
Buttercup looked at Noelle and picked up her hand. “Yesenia.”
Noelle smiled and squeezed. “Noelle.”
The two smiled at each other. “Your screen name makes sense.” said Yesenia. “You looked like Christmas morning after we were done.”
“I figured yours out, too. The Princess Bride is one of my favorite movies.”
The two shared a laugh, and leaned in for a deep, wet kiss. After a moment, Yesenia broke the kiss and picked up her travel kit of toiletries. Noelle followed her into the bathroom, and they shared a warm shower and a hot makeout session in the warm spray.
They dressed quickly. Noelle smiled at Yesenia’s tight clothing, almost-clubwear halter top and spangled skinny jeans. Paired with a set of gold come-fuck-me heels, Yesenia was a headturner. Her curly hair fell nearly to her waist and her skin and eyes were rich, lush brown. Noelle’s own clothes were casually sexy – a drapey handkerchief blouse over a pair of slim-leg jeans with flats. Her own rich red hair fell casually to just below her shoulders, and her creamy white skin was still firm and taut despite having crossed the upper half of her thirties.
The two made a tentative date for coffee and clothing-only date, and left the cheap motel. Noelle had paid cash, and tipped an extra $20 to make sure that the clerk didn’t check her ID. Yesenia left with a bounce in her sexy strut, and Noelle with a smooth gait to her car. She slowed until she saw Yesenia’s car, an old Hyundai Sonata, turn left as it left the parking lot. With that, Noelle finished walking to her car. When she got into her Chrysler Pacifica, she looked in the back at the trappings of her life with her husband. Two kids’ worth of stuff laying all over the place, and his stuff – a Brazilian instrument called a berimbau, and a pair of capoeira uniform pants, complete with school logo emblazoned on the left hip crease.
She drove home, to a small house in the suburbs of town. It was an older house. She stepped in to a house in bright, warm colors and Spanish tiles. Each part of this house bore her own stamp – her caring husband had let her put her stamp on everything. The tiles that decorated the landing on the stair as it went upstairs. The warm Brazilian koa that lined the downstairs. His stereo and home theater dominated the living room, but her furniture decorated the living room, her colors on the wall.
She stopped and looked around. The years of working together, laughing together, and moments of tender passion in this house overwhelmed Noelle. She wondered if the hot passion she shared with Yesenia could ever be worth losing all of this, the years of happiness. It wasn’t the hot passion of stolen sex and pleasure, but the banked warmth of a hearth fire tended daily for years.
She was alone in the house – the kids were at their grandparents’ house. Her husband was at work in the studio tending to the business aspect of their life. Their combination of dance, martial arts, and yoga drew people in from all over. The Academy of Cultural Arts was the culmination of their skills, desires, and talents and was a thriving facility that brought people in balance through physical activity and spiritual creativity.
Noelle put her purse down and sat down on the couch. Her own pleasure throbbed, but the pleasant tingle of good sex rapidly became an albatross around her neck, dragging her down in a miasma of guilt and self-doubt.
Noelle put her face in her hands and sobbed for the quiet desperation she felt in the middle of suburbia, for her near-perfect life and her secret actions that could blow it up, and for the sinking feeling that she was doomed to blow her life apart even if she managed to keep her indiscretions quiet.
It was the day after Thanksgiving, Black Friday.
Miguel enjoyed his life. He was a capoeira instructor, 12 years of hard training and sweat that brought him here. He loved Noelle, their kids, and the studio that was their vision and livelihood. It wasn’t many that could do what they loved and make a living at it. He came in early, as was his habit. He stretched, working on his flexibility and tone. He was in his late thirties, physically past his prime but muscled, lithe, and well-developed. His usual clothes were casual to the point of bumhood, a colored tank top and shorts. In deference to the chill of the fall, he was wearing long, workout pants instead of his usual shorts, black with a vicious yellow diagonal slash, and a black tank-top. His hair was long and lush – his own rebellion against the world. Generally he kept it braided and back, but today it was in a simple ponytail. He’d brought the motorcycle in today, as Noelle was out since early morning doing Black Friday shopping. He smiled as he thought about his hot, sexy wife.
He was finishing the last of the paperwork when Noelle walked in. She was a wet dream in the flesh – her clothes emphasized her dancer’s lithe, strong body. Dressed in a off-the-shoulder peasant blouse and a broomstick skirt with a set of black come-fuck-me heels, she was bohemian and drop dead sexy. She smiled at him, full of warmth in her eyes and something else. Miguel filed it away, his customary smile in place. He was a smiling kind of guy in general. Good capoeiristas smiled no matter what – a good smile was a terrible weapon to have.
“What’s up, baby?”
“Mmm. Nothing much.” Noelle smiled. “It’s lonely at home.”
“I thought you were doing some Black Friday shopping.”
“I did, but there was nothing that we needed or wanted.” Noelle sat down on the side of his desk, showing her long, sexy legs.
Miguel knew that she liked to flirt with people, and Noelle knew that Miguel liked to be pursued. He was a sexy man, all dark skin, tight strong musculature and long hair that spoke to a dangerous side of him. He never had a problem with female attention, although he confessed more than once that it got him off to be pursued like a sex object.
Noelle kicked her flats off, wiggling her toes. She knew that Miguel liked her feet, found them sexy. It was no secret that he loved parts of her she didn’t know how to deal with, although she tolerated his various attractions to her various body parts. At this point, she wanted to distract him. She couldn’t seem to get rid of the blush of incredible sex that she’d had with Yesenia, and she needed to feel her husband’s cock in her to get rid of the guilty feeling she had.
It worked. Miguel’s eyes quit looking so intelligently at her, the desire she knew was always lurking in him coming forth already. She already knew what was on his mind, had set it up from her choice in clothes to what was underneath. She had already drawn the shades, shut the front doors and activated the door chime. Miguel went nuts when it was activated, the door chiming every time someone came in or out, but Noelle liked having it on for moments like this.
Reaching over, she took one his big, strong hands and set it on her hip, letting him draw her around the rounded corner of the desk to where she could straddle him. Miguel lifted one of her legs over him, so he was square in between her legs. He slid his hands up her skirt along her legs, to her naked hips. She was panty-less, too. He stood up, revealing the tent in his black workout pants. Noelle reached down and stroked it through the synthetic material as Miguel ran his hands over her naked shoulders and kissed her, deep and thoroughly, sending shivers and electric tingles through the two of them.
Breaking the kiss, Noelle lifted her blouse, revealing her braless breasts, magnificent and swaying. The nipple shields glinted like magic as she cast it to one side. She pushed Miguel back into his seat as she shimmied out of her skirt, revealing herself naked and glorious. The cool air of the studio made her nipples pop out, and Noelle had even dusted herself with some body glitter. Miguel could smell her arousal and a faint note of perfume, although Noelle also smelled of her pomegranate-and-cherry-blossom body wash.
Noelle straddled Miguel in his armless chair and kissed him again. Miguel enveloped her in his strong arms. Noelle could feel the faint ridges on his muscled arms as his tattoos rubbed against her soft skin. His tattoos were vibrant and primal, like him. In his arms, enjoying the sheer power of his maleness as he picked her up, Noelle could only respond with arousal and desire. Noelle had let him have her in various rooms of the academy over the years, from the mirrored main floor to the padded yoga room to the desks of their offices. In this moment, she was ready to have his cock wherever they ended up.
Miguel kissed and nibbled on her long neck and shoulders, loving her scent and the new perfume mixing. She was so intoxicating, all slender muscle and grace and sexy pale skin against his darker, muscled body. She pushed him back gently, dropping to her knees and pulling the drawstring of his workout pants. with a lift of his hips, Noelle slid the pants and his athletic trunks down, revealing his swelling cock, veined and throbbing. It was that perfect length, long enough to touch the back of her passage, wide enough to make her feel every inch. She looked up at him, where her body glitter had come off onto his black tank top, the muscled abs, the erect cock pointing at her. His apadravya glittered in the light, a vertical bar through his cockhead. She knew that it only made him feel better inside her, and wasn’t a lot of extra metal in her mouth. He shucked his own top in a moment, and watched as she slid his swollen member on her lips, kissing and nibbling on the length before taking it in.
Sliding him into her mouth, Noelle had a flash to Yesenia’s smooth, silken skin. Her smoothness and graceful limbs. How different it was to this rush of hard power that she felt as she suckled on her husband. He never expected anything other than what she wanted to give, and take from him. In this, though, she loved to please him, feeling his maleness enveloped by her femininity. The metal nubs of his piercing rubbed the roof of her mouth and her tongue. She kept her teeth away as she lavished her tongue along his shaft, feeling her lips sliding along the veined surface. It was a deep contentment that settled into her, different that the stolen thrill of her female lover. She loved this man, and his body. She loved his cock with her mouth and tongue, feeling the precum spilling and loving the male taste of her husband.
This time, though, she wanted to taste him, his alkaline fluids in her mouth. She didn’t swallow often, the strongly alkali taste of his semen made her ill sometimes, so she pleasured him until he spilled on her face, her breasts, her ass. Today, though, she needed to swallow him. Noelle rubbed her clit, feeling its hard length and heat as she slid him in and out of her mouth, her tongue swirling as he gasped, pulling her hair the way she liked it. It was practiced pleasure, the way she sucked him. She knew how to draw his seed in ways he liked best, as he pleasured her the way she liked.
He arched back, his body tight and ready to explode as she jacked him and left her lips around the head of his dick. With a gasp and a plea to heaven, Miguel erupted into her mouth, each spurt a mouthful that she swallowed before the next overflowed out of her.
As he came down from his pleasure’s pinnacle, Noelle marveled how his penis was still erect, even after such a powerful explosion. She knew what came next, though. He would taste her, hen fill her with his hot sex. She lay back, feeling the warm salty taste of his semen like thick sake in her mouth.
In a moment, he lifted her to the desk and spread her legs. he dove down, tasting the wetness of her arousal and the clean flesh of her body. He licked, nibbled, and sucked on her labia and clitoris with abandon. the wet sounds of Miguel’s mouth pleasuring her quickly were drowned out by the rising pleasure Miguel gave Noelle. She moaned and giggled as he played with her Christina, tugging on it with his lips as he tongued her pussy opening, and then suckling her clit gently, his tongue finding that magic spot on her upper left of the clit. It wasn’t long before she moaned for a finger inside her, and he slid it into her, caressing her g-spot as she wiggled in pleasure. Her orgasm shot like a blast from a shotgun, exploding from her clit and racing around her body as she shuddered, leaving her husband damp with her fluids
Noelle’s lust was like a storm was trapped in her skin, roiling and rumbling with power, a familiar arousal that was comfortable and well-known to her. She knew the way Miguel fit into her, and she loved the way he felt inside her. With a knowing come-hither smile, she rolled onto his antique wooden desk. The few bits of paperwork Miguel had been working on were in his inbox. Other than that, his desk was clear except for his blotter. Miguel set the tray off to one side, next to a file cabinet. He returned, still upright and throbbing, as Noelle lay back on his desk idly stroking her clit and whimpering with lust. The old wood top was rubbed satin-smooth and the edges were long since rounded with use and time.
Miguel got between her legs, and she reached down. She knew he liked it when she guided him to her depths, and she felt his cock twitching as she grasped it with her cool hand. It was hot, primally alive as his rigid length slid into her moist canal. She moaned as he stretched there out just so, that perfect length that just plain worked for her.
Sliding his length in and out of his wife, Miguel loved feeling Noelle’s pussy gripping him with lust and passion. She was so wet as she wriggled on the wood, loving the sensation of her husband’s hot loverod pushing into her. He began thrusting as he murmured in pleasure. Noelle lost herself in the power of her husband’s thrusts, her head lolling in pleasure as she babbled senseless things. This powerful connection was what she longed for, this passionate spark as Miguel pushed and pulled himself in and out of her.
Watching her breasts move, Miguel leaned forward as he buried himself in Noelle over and over, squeezing the globes of flesh. Her nipples tightened and rose, which he nibbled and bit as she moaned and wiggled about. He could feel Noelle’s wetness dripping down her crotch onto the wooden desktop. He loved that she got so wet for him. With each thrust, he squeezed her breasts, feeling her passion rising with each stroke and grip.
Time melted into a formless eternity as the two coupled, each movement bringing each other pleasure. With a tingle that started somewhere in his nuts and migrating up his spine, Miguel felt the last of his control slipping as his hips began thundering forward, plunging relentlessly into Noelle as she moaned his name and entwined her fingers in his long locks. She rose up, using his shoulders for leverage as he began groaning and growling in pleasure. She knew the one thing that would bypass his last reserves and send him into orgasm, spilling himself into her.
Leaning forward, she lipped his nipple for a moment, then sank her teeth into the salty, damp skin. She loved watching his response when she did this.
Her trick worked – Miguel’s eyes snapped wide, and his eyes dilated to their widest point, like a pair of black holes sucking in the sight of Noelle’s slicked, pumped body flush with pleasure. He arched, a heavy groan slipping from clenched teeth as he spasmed. Noelle’s pleasure flashed into orgasm once more as Miguel pumped his hot seed into her depths, his body slamming into her over and over as he pulsed and shivered. With a final thrust that finished his orgasm, Miguel melted into the quivering form of Noelle, and they held each other as their hearts quieted down.
For Miguel, the chill of his sweat cooling on him drove him up. Noelle was languishing in the pleasure of knowing she and her mate were satisfied. She stretched and got up, enjoying the cool air on her naked skin.
“That was amazing.”
“Mmmm… yes it was.”
Noelle stretched, like a cat awakening from a nap. “I could live with you doing that to me all the time.”
“I thought I did that every time.”
“You do, baby.” Noelle smiled. The complete giving of herself to Miguel had erased the guilt inside her. “Every time.”
“Good.” Miguel gathered his clothing and bundled them together. “I’m gonna hit the shower and get cleaned up.”
Noelle ran a hand down her body, feeling their combined sweat on her skin and the seeping fluid of his cum starting to come out of her. “I do, too. Someone left me all sticky.”
“Wanna come shower with me?” asked Miguel
“What if someone comes in?”
“It’s not like we don’t own the place, babe.”
Noelle shrugged, then smiled. He was right. It was their place.
“Let’s do that.”
Miguel smiled, and held a hand out. Noelle got up and smiled at her husband. All was right again in her world.
The showers were not divided, a series of showerheads at intervals in a huge room. Noelle and Miguel lathered each other up, rinsed, kissed, and enjoyed each other’s bodies as they cleaned up. With a pair of fluffy towels to wrap up in, they dried each other off and dressed again. Noelle had stashed a flimsy bra and a small thong in her purse, and slid them on. The day was passing into the afternoon, and the dedicated health nuts would be along about this time. Miguel taught the daily early yoga classes and his four-times-weekly capoeira class. Noelle still taught math at the nearby high school, so she would come in and teach her bellydance classes in the afternoon after work, her beginner’s classes and drills classes full of young women moving their hips.
The kids came here and did their work while Miguel taught the after-work yoga. At ten and fourteen, Bodhi and Valentino were both bright kids who did their homework well, both well-behaved and well-mannered children. Bodhi took dance with her mother, a darling at ten years of age who could dance circles around some of the older women. Valentino took after his dad, training capoeira and loving the athletic,acrobatic moves of the martial art.
Miguel barely had time to eat a quick power bar and down a bottle of water before the first of the stay-at-home moms began to filter in. Noelle decided to stay and take the yoga class – Miguel’s vinyasa flow yoga was great for centering and focusing on things again.
She went to her office and pulled out of her stash of workout clothes a comfortable stretchy bottom, and a spaghetti strap top. she grabbed her mat and took a spot near the back. Miguel often said he felt weird when she was in front, so she kept out of his direct view so that he could focus on his class.
She went through the class, working on flowing from pose to pose and breathing as she moved. She moved and sweated as Miguel worked. She could feel the energy of the room, could taste some of the women’s quiet desperation as they worked and tried to recenter themselves, while others needed to reconnect to a living being in some way besides work and home. With that, Noelle could feel her own satiated sexuality vibrating in the group mix as she worked.
After an hour, the class ended. Miguel rolled his mat up and wiped off the light sweat he’d developed. Noelle knew that she was drenched again, and some of the stretches let her catch a whiff of her crotch, rich with the scent of sex and her husband’s semen. She’d slipped off to shower again, and dressed quickly into her peasant blouse and broomstick skirt. she had left her heels in her office, so she padded about barefoot, enjoying the feeling of being free and happy in her own skin again.
The other classes went quickly, and a surprise visit from Miguel’s folks took the kids home with them for some relaxation and fun watching cable television.. Noelle enjoyed the time, her own dance class was fun and uplifting, and as she finished, she watched her husband as he worked his capoeira class hard, leaving them sweaty and smiling as they filed out a half-hour later. He was still drilling with a few students, feints and sweeps in his catlike, powerful motions. Noelle could feel desire working up again as he moved, demonstrating techniques to his students.
Finally, he dismissed his last students and gathered up the scattered gear. Tomorrow morning he would come in, mop down the rooms and make sure everything was disinfected. It was his daily practice. He locked up and grabbed a towel. He was wet and dripping with sweat. As he walked into the shower, he heard the splash of a showerhead running. He sighed – some folks were just uncaring of other people’s stuff.
He stripped down, leaving his sweaty stuff in a pile. He would use the hot water running and then call it a night. He turned the corner to find his nude wife there, standing in the spray. Her skin was wet and slick, glistening with water.
They stayed in the spray until it got cold, then went home.
In bed, the two curled up, queuing up a Netflix movie as they cuddled. Noelle smiled, happy at the end of the day.
“So who put that mark on your neck?”
With that, Noelle’s stomach fell into a freezing pool of nitrogen. she looked back at her husband, casually nude and comfortable.
“What mark?”
“The hickey on your neck.”
“I don’t have a hickey on my neck.”
“Go look in the mirror.”
Noelle got up and walked into their master bathroom. The slate was a chill on her bare feet and she flicked a light on. she looked at her neck, and saw the faint suck mark Yesenia had left on her neck.
Noelle was lost. She probed it, not feeling the soreness or the strange pleasure/pain of the hickey. Miguel came in behind her and looked at her in the mirror, his arms around her and his sex, flaccid but warm, snuggled in the crack of her ass. His hair was a black mass of silk around her shoulders and his.
“Who have you been sleeping with?” Miguel asked quietly.
Noelle stood speechless.
“I know you’re sleeping with a girl, Noelle.”
“What?”
“I could smell her perfume on you when we made love that first time today.”
Noelle’s face fell. She could deny it, but it would only delay the inevitable.
“Her name is Yesenia. I met her through Craigslist.”
Miguel’s eyes cooled off. He smiled faintly, although she knew that was the smile that hid all sorts of other things under it.
“So you are cheating on me.” Miguel took a step back, letting go of Noelle. “Or should I count my stars that you are just fucking girls?”
Tears began welling up in Noelle’s eyes. She knew by the yawning chasm of pain she was feeling that she had dealt her husband a terrible wound. His eyes glittered with unshed tears but his face didn’t let anything out about his emotional state.
“What do you want me to say?” asked Noelle quietly.
“The truth. I’ve had a suspicion for a while, but I want to you be honest and tell me about who and why you’re cheating.”
Noelle took a deep breath. “I’ve been with nineteen women in the last four years.”
Miguel thought he could handle hearing a number, but the number was high enough to make him look askance at her.
“Nineteen?”
“Yes. Most were just one-time things, a couple were longer than than. The longest was almost a year.”
Miguel looked at her. “Does it make you happy?”
“Baby, you make me happy.”
“If I did, you wouldn’t be sleeping with other women.”
Noelle was crying completely. “What do you want?” she screamed. “It’s not like I woke up one day and decided that I liked women and not you.”
“I know you like me. I’m wondering when I quit being enough.”
Noelle hissed her displeasure. “You act like your cock is all I want.”
“You’d told me you’d experimented in college, but that you were done.”
“I was wrong, ok?” Noelle hollered. “I thought I was done. Then one night I was out with Jenn and we were drinking wine. Remember when she and Dan broke up?”
“Yeah, I remember?”
“That night I came in all drunk, we’d ended up having sex.”
“So you’re fucking Jenn, too?”
“God, quit being such an asshole!” Noelle left the bathroom, and Miguel followed her. She pulled on a pair of pajamas, no longer comfortable naked. Miguel pulled on a set of basketball shorts over his nudity and sat down on the side of the bed.
“I’m not being an asshole. You’re the one screwing around. Did you expect me to be at my best?”
“Whatever, Miguel.”
“So, finish.”
Noelle took a deep breath, settling down and trying to come to terms with being busted. “So I held you all that night and I thought that was the end of it. Jenn and I talked and decided that it was a one-time thing and would never happen again. Well, we did a few more times, then we stopped. She was newly single and wanted to try some boys.”
“A few months went by and I started wanting to do it again.” Noelle’s eyes unfocused as she dug through her memories. “I missed the smooth skin, the soft way a girl makes love to another girl. I couldn’t leave it alone. I wanted a girl in bed, touching me and to be able to touch her.” Her tears began flowing as she talked.
Noelle got up, grabbed a box of tissues, and blew her nose. “I started trolling Craigslist. I told myself it was just to have to masturbate to, but I started answering ads. A few were scary, so I let it go. I stayed for some, if they were pretty. Soon I knew what to look for, what I wanted.
Swiping at her tears, Noelle kept going. “I would answer a girl and if it worked out I would go to work early and stop off, or tell you I was working late and stop off with a girl and fuck her.”
Miguel was stonily silent. His anger and fury was palpable, a silent storm behind his eyes.
“What do you want me to do, Noelle?”
“What do you mean?”
“I love you, and I think you love me. But I won’t keep you if you don’t want to be here.” Miguel looked at her. “I don’t like the idea of sharing you with a faceless person I don’t know.”
Noelle looked at him. “You want me to bring a girl to our bed?”
“I would rather share a lover with you than share you with someone else.”
“God, you’re such a guy!” Noelle threw a pillow at him. “You just want to fuck someone else, too!”
“No, I know to keep my pants on with people I want to sleep with.”
“Fuck you!” Noelle seethed. “I don’t want you to sleep with anyone else?”
“And I don’t want you to sleep with other people, either!”
“Well, I can’t help what I want.”
“Then go and get it.” Miguel got up. “You can stay here, with the kids. I’ll stay at the studio. The business stays as is, the kids stay here and we visit.” Miguel dragged a shirt on, threw a pile of workout clothes, uniform pants, and underwear into a duffel bag he kept in his closet. “I’m gone. I can’t think straight right now, and I can’t share a bed with you at the moment.”
Noelle didn’t say a word as Miguel got up and left. She heard the roar of his bike as he left, and fell into a pile on the bed, crying. She cried and cried until she was out of tears and sick to her stomach. She texted Jenn, her former lover and still-best friend. She stumbled downstairs as Jenn knocked, and over wine she spilled all her indiscretions. Jenn listened, nodded, and took Noelle into her arms. Their lips met, and Noelle’s pain was soothed with the silky body and caresses of her best friend.
They eventually moved upstairs, where they pleasured each other in bed and eventually fell asleep, curled up with each other.
A few weeks went by. Noelle returned to work and Miguel took care of the business and its upkeep. She could tell Miguel had been by – laundry got done and there was dinner made, just like he was there. Jenn came over and occasionally slept over. Her body soothed the pain, but not the lost feeling Noelle felt without Niguel. The kids picked up that Daddy wasn’t there anymore, but he still picked them up and got their homework done and trained. It was just that Daddy wasn’t home and they were still feeling things out. After a few days, Noelle finally kicked Jenn out of her bed after the first week – Jenn was nice, but Noelle needed Miguel, too. The confusion drove her crazy, and while she did her job, it was obvious that Noelle was not at the top of her game at her job. She was thankful that the Christmas holiday was coming soon.
The Friday Winter Break started, Noelle dropped a text to Miguel.
:I miss you.: It took a while for the text to come back
:I miss you too:
:I wish this had never happened:
:Its here now. What do you want?:
:To talk. I don’t have a class tonight and neither do you. Let’s talk:
:Nothing to say that I haven’t said already. I’m hurt already:
:I’d rather have a woman in our bed together than not have you:
:I just miss you: Another text from Miguel flashed in before Noelle could respond.
:I love you;
Noelle smiled at that.
:I love you too:
I’ll ask Mom and Dad to handle the kids. Meet me at Pei Wei tonight at 7:
Noelle smiled and agreed, then put her phone away as her 6th period class filed in. She was starting to feel better about her life, now.
The time dragged so slow. She ran home, changed into a sweater dress and a small bolero jacket. She put her black heels on and got ready a full hour ahead of time. She decided to split and get there early – the little Asian bistro got full quick, and they would need a table so they didn’t have to wait.
Miguel drifted in about a half-hour early as well. He wore jeans she liked on him, dark demin with silver studding on them. His shirt was a rich blue-and-red Redemption shirt. He looked more in shape than before, although she suspected he was working out his frustration in iron and capoeira. He saw her and she caught a flash of eyes brightening before he shut down and gave his usual bland capoeira smile. He had a sheaf of papers that looked like legal paperwork, but Noelle clung to her hope stubbornly. She needed him, and she would get what she wanted, one last time.
Miguel sat down, putting the paperwork on the bench beside him. He slipped his acrylic disk into the stand by the disposable chopsticks and smiled tightly again. His smile didn’t make it to his eyes.
“Hi, baby.”
“Hi, baby.”
“I’m here. I figured you hadn’t ordered yet, so I ordered for both of us.”
They sipped on their teas and made quiet small talk.
The food arrived, and they dug in. Her lettuce and chicken wraps were tasty, and his pad Thai was rich and aromatic. They ate, neither with much enthusiasm.
“So, what did you want to talk about?’
“Us.”
“Is there an us?”
“I’d like there to be an us.” Noelle was quiet.
“I know Jenn has been by.” Miguel left it at that. He knew Jenn’s scent very well. It had been on the bed the few times he’d been by to handle the laundry and stuff.
“I kicked her out.”
“No more girls, then?”
Noelle looked up. “I would rather share a lover with you than not have you in my life at all.”
Miguel looked at her. “I really don’t want another lover. I want you. I would rather share a girl between us than not have you, either.”
Noelle looked at him. “so you get two girls in bed, then.”
“And you get a girl that you want and me. And I get you, too. It’s a workable compromise.”
“So, what’s the paperwork?”
“Divorce papers.”
“What?”
“Divorce papers. In case you wanted to leave.”
“Why would you do that?”
“I love you. It’s not right to expect you to stay when you want to go.”
Noelle started to tear up, and used her napkin to dab it away. “Silly man.” She muttered under her breath.
Miguel shrugged and managed a weak smile. “For the most part of this, I have had little control over what’s going on. This way, at least I got a say in something, even if it was the end.”
“I was trying to make it easy on you, even if I was ripping my own heart out first.”
Noelle laughed at that, a surprised bark that made Miguel smile.
“You do love me, don’t you?”
“I do love you.”
“And I love you too.”
“So since you propose to share your lovers with me, how do we do it?”
“Well, you and I get to be alone together.” Started Noelle.
“I don’t want you with her alone.”
“And you don’t get to poke her if and when you two are alone.”
Miguel tilted his head. “Deal.”
Noelle smiled. “So, have you been getting any on the side?”
Miguel smiled, twinkling his eyes. “I’m not saying I was alone crying my heart out, or if I had company.”
Noelle looked at him. “I confessed all my indiscretions.”
Miguel looked back steadily. “We weren’t together for a few weeks.”
Noelle started to respond, than realized she knew the answer.
“You didn’t, did you?”
Miguel smiled, a real smile that reached his ears. “No.”
Noelle reached out and hugged Miguel across the table. “Wanna try?”
Miguel leaned over and kissed Noelle. “With who?”
“Jenn, silly. Why have strangers when you can have friends.”
Miguel smiled, and waved to the waiter. When he came over, he said, “Box this up, please. We have to go.”
Noelle smiled as they headed for home, dropping a text to Jenn. She knew this was the best gift, the most painful gift to give your partner, but Miguel loved her enough to have given it. Noelle cherished her husband for it, and would show him exactly how much this meant to him tonight.
She smiled as she heard him pull in behind her. It was good to be home.

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