The next day, I woke up from another dream about Isabelle. I felt so uncomfortable and dirty. I needed to take a shower so I got a new set of clothes for the day and hopped in my shower, turning it all the way up. The water was still cold and not warming up so my shower only lasted for a few minutes before it became unbearable and I had to get out and dry off. I put on my clothes for the day and headed out of my room.

Right down the hall from my room was the other bathroom on the top level of the house and coming out of that bathroom was a completely naked Isabelle, except for the rolled towel around her head. “Oh shit, sorry!” I said averting my eyes and going back into my room, as Isabelle ran back into Mary’s old room.

Secretly, I savored the image of her naked body, trying to visualize it again in my mind. Her breasts were so perfect and perky and her nipples were a light pinkish red, hard like small pebbles. I could see she also kept her vagina shaved and clean. The swollen looking lips were a vibrant pink and they looked like they had just been ‘used’. Was she masturbating in the shower? I couldn’t think straight. My cheeks were a bright red as I stepped out into the hallway again, walking down the stairs for breakfast.

“Good morning, Lucas.” My mom said, “Why are you so red?”

“Oh, uh, hot shower,” I replied as I walked to the cabinets to get out a bowl.

I grabbed the milk and my favorite cereal and made myself a bowl, eating it quickly to not have to face Isabelle. Unfortunately, she came down, this time wearing clothes, but still with the towel around her head.

“What do you want for breakfast?” My mom asked her.

“Oh, eh, what Lucas is having?” she said, turning to me.

My mom brought her a bowl and a spoon.

“Here,” I said awkwardly, handing her the box and the milk.

“I love American breakfast foods,” she said, giggling as she took in spoonfuls of the sugary cereal.

“So um Isabelle,” my mom started, “Lucas’s dad has to work today, but I was thinking that maybe you, Lucas, and I could go out on the town, maybe go to the mall or something? I was going to go today anyway.”

“Oh, eh, Lucas and I were thinking that we would go out with some of his friends for the day, you know, show me, eh, what American teens do for fun,” she lied. I guess she just wanted to talk to me about earlier.

“Oh, that sounds lovely,” she said, “Lucas’s friends are great! Well, except for you know who,” she said, staring at me.

“Robby’s just a little peculiar,” I said as Isabelle giggled.

“Well, if you need anything text me, I’m going to get going pretty soon.” My mom said, going back into her room.

A painful, awkward silence took over as I slurped the rest of my cereal, trying to be quiet. “Sorry you had to see that earlier,” Isabelle finally said as I brought my dishes to the sink and started washing them. “See what,” I replied, hoping she’d drop it. She giggled to herself as she finished the cereal, bringing her bowl and spoon to me. “You are sweet,” she said, kissing my cheek as I washed her dish.

My cheeks blushed and I calmed myself down by convincing myself that the kiss was just a cultural thing. “Nothing more than a greeting,” I repeated to myself in my mind. Isabelle happily walked back out into the hallway and I could hear her going up the stairs. I never thought having her over would be this fucking awkward. I wondered if it would be like this for the entire semester.

I put the dishes in the rack next to the sink and walked up the stairs to my room. When I came to the top, I noticed that Isabelle’s door was open and inside, Isabelle was bending over folding her head towel on the bed. I hadn’t noticed at breakfast, but she was wearing very tight yoga pants and when she bent over, her ass was nearly visible through them. Even her red g-string was showing through them. Quickly, I ran back into my room, trying not to think of her like that.

“Why must I be cursed with being a guy?” I thought to myself as I laid down on my bed.

My phone started buzzing from my night stand. It was Robbie. I just let the voicemail get it as I was too lazy to answer it.

“Hey man, it’s Robby, anyway, um, Kyle and Aaron and I are going over to Kyle’s house later today like at 9:00 to hang out, maybe smoke some weed, you should come with and maybe bring your hotness Izzy or whatever her name was. She was totally into you dude, don’t pass that shit up.” He said after the tone. Some weed did sound rather good right about now, but I wasn’t sure if Isabelle was keen on that whole world. Either way, I’d have to talk to her about it. I walked out into the hallway and knocked on the door, even though it was opened.

“Hey,” she said, smiling at me. Once again, I found it difficult to look directly into her eyes.

“Hey,” I said stepping in and shutting the door behind me. “So, uh Robby, Kyle, and my friend Aaron are wondering if you and I want to go over to Kyle’s again.”

“That sounds, eh, awesome!” she said, sitting up on her bed.

“There’s just one thing,” I said, “there’s going to be some weed there and, you don’t have to try it if you don’t want to.”

“Weed?” she said.

“Yeah, um, you know hash, marijuana.”

“Ah, oui, marijuana,” she replied almost excitedly, “I’ve never tried.”

“Are you ok with that?” I asked.

“All part of the American experience,” she giggled.

“Yeah, um so I think they said to come over around 9:00, so, um you might want to change since Robby’s there,” I said, looking at her outfit.

Isabelle was wearing a cute Pink t-shirt with black leggings that were practically see-through from how she was stretching them. I wondered where she even found leggings small enough to be that tight on her slim figure, but quickly put that thought out of my head. “I’ll be fine,” she said as I walked out of her room, “What do you want to do until then?” she asked. I turned around, starting to feel a little more comfortable around her, trying to forget the dreams from last night and this morning.

“Um, well, it’s 8:00 right now, so there isn’t much to do,” I said.

“What would you normally be doing right now?” she asked, genuinely intrigued.

“Normally, I’m either asleep or playing video games,” I said.

“Maybe you could show me some video games,” she said.

“Sure,” I replied.

We walked over to my room and I showed Isabelle how to play some of my games like GTA, which she particularly enjoyed. She kept running over civilians with her stolen cars, making them go flying into the air. “This is much fun!” she exclaimed as she careened into some more pedestrians. I smiled at her, getting a warm feeling.

Everything she did I liked. Even her cute accent made me feel a weird sense of happiness and anxiety at the same time. She was sitting cross legged next to me on the floor of my room and as she crashed her car over and over again, her small feet moved around, scrunching up and jerking back. I wasn’t a foot person or anything, but just the way she moved around made me feel comfortable and at the same time apprehensive. I knew I liked her and I knew that was wrong, but I couldn’t help it. She was just great.

I tried to convince myself that the dreams I had meant nothing and that I didn’t actually feel for her, but I just couldn’t. “Maybe I just want a replacement for Kristy,” I thought to myself, “that’s why she turned to Kristy in the first dream.” But it was hopeless, I still had feelings for Isabelle. I couldn’t tell what was worse, that she was just going to leave the country in a few months, that she didn’t feel the same way, or that I barely had a chance with her.

“You want to try?” she asked, looking at me and holding out the controller.

“No, we had better get going, it’s already like 9:15,” I said looking at my phone, “this time bring a jacket, its cold out today.” I said, putting on my hoodie from the night before.

“Maybe I liked wearing your hoodie,” she giggled, walking out of my room.

So many signals and yet I still wasn’t sure if she was in to me.

I turned my console and TV off and followed her down the foyer. We tied our shoes and left out the front door. As we walked, we talked about weed and how she might feel smoking it for the first time.

“A lot of people say they feel nothing their first time, but when I tried it for the first time, I got pretty blazed,” I said making her laugh, her breath visible in the cool, morning air.

“Well, I hope I feel it,” she said, “it sounds kind of fun.”

“It is,” I laughed with her.

When we reached Kyle’s house, his parent’s cars weren’t in the drive way again. However, Aaron and Robby’s bikes were in the driveway. I rung the doorbell and Kyle answered, obviously blazed out of his mind. “Whats up,” he giggled, letting us in. “Not much man,” I said shaking his hand. He led us up the staircase to his room which surprisingly didn’t smell like weed at all.

“Lucas!” Aaron said, breathing out a huge hit of odorless smoke.

“It doesn’t smell in here,” I said, pointing out the obvious.

“Dude, you have to try this,” Rob said, holding out a bong a blow torch and this weird resin looking substance the color of dried maple syrup.

“What is it?” I asked, a little hesitant.

Isabelle clung to my arm, a little scared herself.

“It’s dabs, its like a concentrated form of THC,” Kyle said.

“It’s twenty times better than weed,” Rob said.

“Um ok,” I said, taking the bong the blow torch and the resin.

Kyle took the blow torch and the resin, while I held the bong. “Did you get a new bowl?” I asked noticing the new odd looking white bowl on the bong. “That’s a uh dabbing bowl,” Kyle said as he started heating the bowl up with the blow torch. “Hold on, when I say, suck in as much as you can,” Kyle said as he broke off a tiny piece of the resin with a weird tool. Isabelle still clung tightly to my arm so I was only holding the bong with one hand.

With the weird tool, Kyle took the tiny piece of resin up to the bowl and told me to suck in. A cloud of light grey smoke came up from the bong and into my lungs, making me almost immediately light headed. I kept sucking in and breathing out my nostrils until there was nothing left.

“Fuck dude,” I said, handing the bong back to Aaron.

“How do you feel?” Isabelle asked letting go of my arm to find a chair in Kyle’s messy room.

“Right now? Light headed,” I coughed, “but pretty fucking great.”

“Can I try?” Isabelle asked, curious to see what it was like.

“Sure,” Kyle said, handing the bong off to Isabelle who held it with both hands, very carefully.

Kyle went through the same procedure with me and as soon as Isabelle breathed in, she started coughing vigorously, trying to take in as much smoke as she could while still being able to breathe. “Merde sainte,” she said, which meant “holy crap”, handing the bong back. I could feel the dabs starting to take effect as everything became more vibrant. It was so easy to focus on such silly things like a pattern on the wall or a tree outside.

I walked over and sat down on Kyle’s bed. Isabelle decided to join me, clumsily walking towards me. She tripped and fell over something on Kyle’s messy floor, but luckily I caught her before she hit anything else. “Merci,” she giggled as everyone else erupted in laughter. “Amanda’s coming over soon and she doesn’t really like this shit, so we’ll have to put it away soon,” Kyle said, taking another hit as Isabelle settled herself onto Kyle’s bed next to me.

“This is enjoyable,” she giggled, resting her head on my shoulder.

“Timber!” I exclaimed, leaning back onto Kyle’s bed.

“Qui tombe!” Isabelle said as we fell back onto the bed.

She rested her head on my chest with her hand over my stomach and my arm underneath her neck.

“Oiseau d’amour,” Rob said, meaning lovebirds “I looked that up for you two,” he giggled.

“First of all, you aren’t saying it right, it’s ‘oiseau d’amour’,” Isabelle corrected.

“Oiseau d’amour,” Rob tried.

“No, ‘oiseau d’amour’,” Isabelle said again, “and second, I don’t love Lucas. I like him.”

Aaron and Kyle looked wide eyed at both of us as I, myself, looked wide eyed at Isabelle.

“Called it!” Rob exclaimed. Isabelle looked up at me and smiled.

“What, you did not know?” she giggled.

“As in ami, or petit ami?” I asked, meaning friend, or boyfriend.

“Ami,” she said, erupting in laughter.

My heart seemed to sink inside my chest as she laughed at the confusion, her head still laying on my chest.

“What?” Rob asked.

“In a friendly way,” I answered not showing the disappointment in my voice.

“Damn,” Rob said, a little frustrated.

Isabelle giggled her cute, infectious laugh, vibrating my chest with her sweet, gentle voice. “So, what do you guys want to do?” she asked, seeming to get more comfortable on my chest. “To the basement!” Kyle said, pointing his finger in front of him as he led us all out of his room and to the basement. We walked down the stair cases carefully, reaching the basement with a sigh of relief. Once again, there was one too many of us for the sofas available so Isabelle sat on my lap, her legs and head hanging off the sides of the armrests.

Kyle turned on the playstation with a new game and Aaron and Rob played first while Kyle went up to the kitchen to bring us some soda. When he returned, Amanda was in his arms, carrying the sodas and he almost stumbled a couple of times, but safely let her down. She kicked Robby out of one of the chairs so he just sat on the floor in front of the TV while Kyle and Amanda snuggled up with each other, pulling a blanket over themselves.

Isabelle was distracted by my shirt while I glared intently at the TV screen, watching Aaron and Rob race cars completely stoned. Soon, Isabelle’s fingers found their way up to my hoodie strings, toying with them while she continued to stared at my hoodie, which really had no designs on it, it was just a regular blue hoodie with a few buttons on the top.

“What?” I asked her, grabbing one of the strings from her hand.

“Rien,” she replied with a cute smile, which meant “nothing”

“FUCK!” Aaron yelled suddenly, making Isabelle gasp.

Apparently he completely totaled his car and it was Isabelle’s turn now. She sat upon my lap and took hold of the controller. “I don’t know how to play this game,” she said. “Here, I’ll help,” I replied, taking her small, warm hands in mine and showing her each of the controllers while the other cars zoomed by the city streets.

“How do you make it stop?” she asked in a soft whisper,

“Like this,” I responded, moving her finger to the corresponding button.

“I wish it was that simple,” I thought to myself as my feelings for Isabelle became nearly unbearable. She ended up playing for quite a while as she moved around in my lap. I really wished she didn’t do that so well, her ass felt so good on me. I had a raging boner by the time she totaled her car and I was almost shaking. The worst part is that she could tell it was there from the thinness her tight yoga pants and she just kept moving like it was nothing.

“Either I’m completely in the friend zone or she is in to me,” I concluded. I wanted so badly to just tell her what I was feeling, but I was almost sure it would end in me getting hurt again and my friends already saw me break down once, after Kristy. Maybe I just wanted to fill the void that Kristy left. I hoped that was it. The void could mend over time and I wouldn’t have to feel this way about my best friend.

“I am getting hungry,” Robert said, breaking my concentration.

“Oui, me too,” Isabelle agreed, getting off of me.

I quickly changed my position so my boner wasn’t noticeable to everyone else and I could see Isabelle smirk at me. “I’ll order a pizza again,” Kyle said, making Isabelle jump with glee back onto my lap. “Ow, fuck,” I exclaimed as she landed hard on my already bent cock. “Oh! désolé!” she exclaimed as I grabbed my groin from underneath her firm ass. On the top of my hands I could feel a slightly damp spot where her vagina was. Was she wet from my boner? I thought. As the pain cleared and the gaming went on, I continued to debate whether or not Isabelle actually liked me.

“I wish she would just say it,” I thought to myself as a controller passed to Isabelle again.

“It’s my lucky day,” she said, situating herself comfortably on my lap, taking the controller in her hands.

She started out driving fairly well, turning the corners of the track with ease, getting closer and closer to first place. Amanda, who was playing with Isabelle, started getting worried as her place became compromised. “Shit,” she said as the game intensified. Isabelle’s car was coming up behind Amanda’s who was moving it back and forth to try and block Isabelle from getting any further. As Isabelle approached fearlessly, Amanda tensed and Isabelle smashed into her car, spinning it out into a building and winning the race.

“Je ai gagné!” Isabelle exclaimed, meaning, “I won!”, throwing her arms up in the air.

“My turn!” Aaron exclaimed, snatching the controller from Isabelle’s lap.

For some reason I felt almost defensive that his hand got that close to Isabelle’s lap. A primal urge to ward him off ran through my mind, but I didn’t say anything. Isabelle’s arms reached down around my torso, hugging me closely as she kissed my cheek. “Just a cultural thing,” I convinced myself again, but Isabelle’s arms stayed tightly wrapped around my torso, not wanting to let go.

Suddenly the doorbell rang. “That would be the pizza, who’s got the tip this time?” he asked. “Pizza!” Isabelle exclaimed in her cute accent. “I’ll get it,” I said trying to stand up, but Isabelle wouldn’t budge so I just pulled out my wallet from underneath her weight and tossed Kyle 10 bucks. “Thank you,” he said, heading up the stairs as the doorbell rang a second time. “Are you guys coming or what?” he yelled down.

Aaron, Rob and Amanda all got up and started leaving but Isabelle stayed on my lap. “Aren’t you hungry?” I tried to ask but before I could finish my sentence, Isabelle lowered her head to mine and carefully placed her sweet lips on mine. I caught a small taste of the cherry lipstick she used before she pulled her head back, hopping off of my lap and walking up the stairs while I was stuck to the couch in shock and joy.

“Petit ami,” she said, turning back before heading up the stairs, chasing after the rest of the group.

I wide smile spread across my face as I started catching up with my friends. A thousand things were racing through my mind all at once and it felt like I was going to pass out. I couldn’t tell if the feelings were because of the high or- shit. Maybe she only kissed me because she was high. Maybe she doesn’t even like me. I hate ambiguity. I hate my mind. I hate everything. Still though, I couldn’t wipe the grin off my face or the feelings I had for Isabelle, even more so now than ever before. I had to ask her what that was when she was thinking straight, when we were thinking straight.

I got to the top of the stairs and went over into the kitchen where everyone was already demolishing the pizzas. “I saved you some,” Isabelle said, handing me a paper plate with a few slices of pizza on it. All that came out of my mouth were weird noises that sort of resembled the words, “Thank you.” My tongue was tied and my heart was racing as Isabelle laughed at my attempt to speak. “And I thought my english was bad,” she giggled. I smiled awkwardly at her, my cheeks burning red.

We all ate together and laughed, sharing stories as our (minus Amanda’s) high slowly wore off. I felt like I needed another hit or two, not because the stuff’s addictive, I just needed to calm my nerves down for when I asked Isabelle what the kiss meant. I desperately wanted to know if she really had feelings for me, or if it was just a joke. It couldn’t have been a joke though, she would’ve done it in front of Rob, Aaron, and Kyle. My head felt dizzier and more lightheaded than the peek of the high. Suddenly, I became very anxious and nervous as the butterflies filled my stomach. I knew I was over analyzing the situation, but why was this so difficult?

I looked over at Isabelle, who was sitting across the table from me, and noticed her looking intently at me, biting the tip of her forefinger as she slowly moved it out of her mouth, moving on to biting her lip. It wasn’t a ‘seductive’ lip biting or finger biting. She looked almost as nervous as I was. I guess my nervousness showed more because she nudged my shin with her toes, mouthing the words “Are you ok?” to me. With a crooked smile and a slight nod, I assured her that nothing was wrong, but, of course, that wasn’t true.

She still looked a little concerned, but continued eating and talking to her newfound friends. Kyle was telling another story about something as I zoned out again, deep in thought of how I’d bring my feelings, and hopefully her’s, up to Isabelle. Once again, a slight nudge on the shin came from Isabelle’s toes. “Are you sure?” she lipped, more concerned than the last time. “I’m fine,” I replied out loud. “Um, that’s nice?” Kyle said questioning why I interrupted him. “No, Izzy was asking me and -“ I stammered embarrassed. “Ok,” he interjected, continuing with his story as Aaron, Amanda, and Rob laughed along.

I looked over to Isabelle who was covering her mouth, giggling at my mix up, furthering my embarrassment. “Hey losers,” Kyle’s older brother, Adam, said as he walked into the kitchen, straight towards the fridge. He looked over at us briefly doing a double take before saying, “Woah, who is this?” referring to Isabelle obviously.

“This is Izzy,” Kyle said, “She’s Lucas’s friend from France who’s here as a foreign exchange student.”

“Well, Izzy,” Adam began.

“It is Isabelle,” Isabelle corrected.

“Isabelle, I don’t know why you’re hanging out with these losers, but, if you want to, you can always come hang out with me,” he said, getting a little creepy.

“Jesus Christ Adam, she’s too young for you,” Kyle said.

“Also, you’re not my type,” Isabelle added.

“Well, what is your type?” Adam asked.

“Tall, brown eyes, black hair, awkward, but in a cute way, caring, charming, muscular, funny, has good smelling hoodies,” she said, nudging me with her toes again as she tried to continue her list looking directly at me.

“You’re very specific,” Adam interrupted, tiring of Isabelle’s list of very specific traits.

Rob, who was sitting next to me, bumped my arm with his fist as Adam got what he wanted from the fridge and left. It was obvious what was on his mind, considering it was always on his mind, but rarely about other people. He did the same to Kyle before he started dating Amanda and even when Kristy and I started dating. It was really annoying. Around three or four o’clock, Isabelle and I headed out, going back to my house to prepare her for the coming school semester.

This wasn’t my idea however, Isabelle wanted to go back, I wanted to stay because I knew coming back to the house would mean having to talk to her about what happened. The butterflies came back as we walked back to my house and continued as we came through the front door into the empty house. Isabelle raced me up the stairs into ‘her’ room and she won. I wasn’t feeling up to racing. I wasn’t feeling up to anything really. All I wanted to do was crawl inside my hoodie and stay there for the foreseeable future.

“What’s the matter?” she asked as I moseyed my way up the stairs

“Um, nothing,” I replied as we walked into ‘her’ room.

Isabelle took out a small, red suitcase from the closet and opened it up. It was entirely filled with school supplies that she might need. We had the same schedule since I asked my counselor if we could, which I was now regretting, so I knew what she needed for each class. A few notebooks for Psychology, World Literature, and Principles of Engineering, since I was going to a small engineering charter school. A large amount of pencils, a calculator, and some gym clothes for Health and Fitness.

“Would this be ok?” Isabelle asked holding up a small skirt and a loose looking tank top with large holes for the arms.

“I, um, don’t think so, maybe the skirt, but generally people just wear a t-shirt on top,” I said, thinking about how good she would look in that skimpy outfit.

“Maybe I could try it on and you could see?” she said, seemingly reading my mind.

“That, uh, you don’t have to,” I started, but before I could finish, Isabelle had already gotten up and left to the bathroom to try it on.

She came back a few minutes later, modeling the outfit for me with her hands on her hips as she walked. “Is this so bad?” she asked, turning and facing me. I could see her flat stomach and bra clearly through the large arm holes. Her butt was barely covered my the small black skirt and I could just barely make out her underwear until she moved her slender thigh in the way.

“Yeah, that won’t be appropriate,” I said, trying to calm myself down.

“Poo,” Isabelle grunted, turning back and walking disappointedly to the bathroom.

She came back again, this time wearing her regular clothes, and we started fitting all of her school things in her backpack, leaving enough room for her to put in some textbooks. I had my things already packed up, so we just hung out in my room for the rest of the evening, taking turns playing Grand Theft Auto on my playstation until dinner rolled around. We both went to bed early to get a good night’s sleep before school the next day, but I couldn’t sleep. I was too distracted by my thoughts, as usual…

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