As I visited with my cousin, a man as perverted as myself, he asked me, “What’s the weirdest thing you ever had your dick stuck in?”
Immediately, I remembered the incest with my sisters; jacking off with a variety of things wrapped around my shaft; a couple of goats, which fit my cock about the same as my tight cunt sister-in-law; and…. The cantaloupe.

Leo already knew about the incest with Mae and Jody… he was the one who started it all. We took turns with Mae many times, but I don’t she ever let Leo get into her panties. I got there… but that’s not what this story is about.

As we grew up, Leo and I often compared the size of our growing cocks, and would have a race to see who could cum first when we’d beat our meat. We’d try out jacking our rods with rolls of toilet paper; with the cardboard centers pulled out. Plastic bags with lotion in them, then wrapped by a washcloth worked great. There’s no telling how many of our dads’ condoms we slipped on to jack off; and we always compared the results… but that’s not what this story is about.

I didn’t fuck the goats until after I was married, and tried it just for the hell of it. I’d catch an opportunity when the bride would be gone shopping or to one of the kid’s house and head for the goat shed. It didn’t take long to train Pearl and Polly to stand and eat from the feed bucket while I used their small pussies for my pleasure. I don’t keep my sexual experiences a secret from Leo, so he knows about the nannies, too… but that’s not what this story is about.

Leo knows I’m still pounding my sister-in-law’s snatch every chance I get. She’s had all three of her kids by C-section; so her pelvis has never been forced by delivering a baby. Plus, she can work her fantastic cunt muscles like most men have never experienced. She 14years younger than me and her husband is a rotten son-of-a-bitch. I really think she’s in love with me and would leave his sorry ass in a second, if I was free and available… but that’s not what this story is about, so…….

I began by telling Leo about my buddy, Paul….
We started the first grade together and graduated side by side. We both had older brothers, so we weren’t too surprised when we discovered how great it felt to jack off, and we did that (side by side) for years. Who really knows; if Paul was still alive, we may still be doing it together.
Paul’s dick was slimmer than mine and had a slight, upward curve. Mine was fatter, but about the same length.

Somewhere along the line, after Leo had explained the birds and bees to Mae and me, Paul and I made her little pussy the object of our pleasure. Eventually, big sis joined in, too.

During high school, both of us snagged girlfriends that didn’t hesitate to fuck; quite often we would fill both seats in Paul’s old Ford with naked bodies, but they wouldn’t work a swap with their goods. My Sharon was great, but I always wanted to plow Christie’s pussy, too.

My car was too small for the four of us, but Sharon learned how to fold up her skinny, little butt and give me a wonderful blow job, when it was just the two of us.

Paul’s mom moved to another town when we were in our senior year. His older brother, Jerry, had already spent time in the Army and had his own apartment, so Paul moved in with him to finish his senior year. He remained there after graduation, until he and Christie got married.
Anyway, moving in with Jerry had another definite advantage…It didn’t take long to convince the girls that a bed worked better than a car seat.

So it happened that our gals got summer jobs as counselors at a church camp about forty miles away from home. They were able to come home on weekends, but Jerry and his girlfriend had the apartment, so Paul and I were banished on Saturday and Sunday. Those seats in the old Ford got a good workout on Saturday nights and Sunday afternoons.

Now, I’m not gonna say that we were entirely celibate while the girls were gone, but sometimes, good pussy with a trustworthy mouth was hard to find.
One evening during the week, Paul made a comment, “I’m so Goddamn horny I could fuck a watermelon.”
I laughed, but got to thinking… all we had done for the last several months was fuck some real pussies, “You’re one crazy mother fucker, Paul. But let’s go for a ride.”

I knew of a large, commercial garden just outside of town. I stopped my VW Beetle just long enough for us to jump out and grab three cantaloupes, each. Paul wanted to know why we were stealing the melons and I told him, “We gotta fuck something tonight.”

We only took the two ripest ones ino the apartment. It would still be three or four hours before Jerry would get off work, so I took a knife and barely cut through the outer rind. When the 3inch circle came off, I plunged the knife into the center and twisted it around, making a hole about a half inch across. It was easily reamed out with my thumb, to the size hole my hard cock would fit through.

Paul laughed as he watched, but when I pushed ol’ Fat Boy through, and down into the warm seed cavity, he started working on the other cantaloupe. Before long, both of us were acting like those two elementary school boys who used to hide behind the dumpster; and see who could shoot our wad the highest.

It was sloppy and made a mess, but I finally emptied my load inside. Paul got so tickled that he couldn’t dump his sperm in his melon, so he pulled his slimy rod out and finished by hand.
We were cleaning up the kitchen floor and about to wash our cocks and balls, when Paul burst with laughter, “I’m gonna peel this fucking cantaloupe, cut it up in chunks, and put it in the fridge. Jerry’s been a son-of-a-bitch lately and he’s gonna love eating what I just fucked.”

Well, we cleaned both of the fruits, put them in to cool, and left.
Sure enough, after we had our Sonic burgers and fries, we went back to the apartment to find Jerry& his asshole buddy, Charles, watching TV and eating chilled cantaloupe.
We quickly said, “Hi,” and excused ourselves back outside… God it was funny.

To this day, anytime Paul and I get together, we have a big chuckle about fucking cantaloupes and feeding them to his brother.
He’ll kill us if he ever finds out.

---