You can get lucky on Backpage, but there are a lot of “bait and switch” scams. You book a girl because of the photos of a beautiful twenty-something, but when you rock up to the apartment, you get her thirty-something ugly sister.

Months ago I booked a hot “Spanish” girl – Ava – who posts yummy photos on BackPage. But when I rocked up to the apartment, I got Aria instead. Bummer.

This time I booked Anita. Supposedly a smokin’ Swedish blonde with the same agency. I started to smell a rat when the Russian opened the door again. This must be a scam.

You’ve got to hand it to the talent scout for this agency. He’s clearly very tough on parents. Not only do they have to give their daughter the gene mix for a 9 out of 10 body, but they have to give her a name that starts and ends with the letter A. Ava, Anita, Aria.

You know your day’s going to hell in a hand basket when you find yourself in bed naked with a Russian lingerie model. This business of substituting one A grade hottie for another is a real scam.

Aria and a cute little Asian girl answered the door. I almost didn’t recognise Aria. Her height and figure and tattoo are unmistakeable, but her face was different. This time she was cute and bright eyed and smiling. Last time she gave me the Russian ice queen look. They let me in and showed me in to a bedroom off the living room and then Aria broke the bad news.

“You’re booked for 45 minutes with Anita at 12.30, right?”

“Yep.”

“Well, here’s the thing: Anita had to leave early and it was too late to tell you.”

Yeah, right.

“You can either come back another time or you can have one of us.” One of her dangerously long fingers casually waves at her partner-in-crime before returning to rest on her own nipple. Not that I notice or anything. [Gulp.] “Or you can have both of us.” [Double gulp!]

Not only does the Russian want to diddle me on Anita, but she wants me to double up to $280 with an Asian! You’ve got to admit, this girl’s got balls.

I look at the Asian girl and she has that expectant and excited look like a puppy that wants to go for a walk. I know this is a sting, but I don’t really care. The puppy’s very cute, but there’s no way I’m paying 140 for her, over a statuesque Russian model. I look back at Aria.

“OK. I’ll stay. With you.” Aria tries not to smile and tells me to get undressed. I avoid eye contact with the puppy as she leaves the room.

I’m slow to undress and still standing there, starkers in the corner when Aria comes back. She is wearing grey marle panties with the white Bonds elastic and a matching cotton bra. It’s nothing flash, but it’s cute. Especially on her. I’m reminded of those days of innocence when I could wank over a Target catalogue in the junk mail. She takes off the bra as I get on the bed.

“What’s your name again?” The best defence with Aria is offence.

“Aria.”

“I thought so. I think we’ve met before.”

“Yeah, we have.” She admits to remembering me? [solo fist pump.]

Her voice is more friendly today. Last time she was guarded. She asks me about my day.

She applies the coconut butter. Her hands are warm and her fingers are strong. She quickly straddles my legs and rubs my shoulders.

“Are you really Russian?”

“My mother is Russian, yeah. But my dad’s a Kiwi and I grew up here.”

“Cool. Have you ever been to Russia?”

“No. But I’ve been to New Zealand. The lifestyle in Russia is very different from Australia. From what my Mum says, I’m not sure I’d like to go there.” Then after a pause, she wonders: “Have you been to Russia?”

“Yeah, I went to Siberia once, a few years ago. I really liked Russia.”

“Wow! It’s such an unusual place. Not many people would think to go there for a holiday. You’re very lucky to have seen a place that hardly anyone has been to . . . or is ever likely to see in their life.”

“Yeah. It was pretty cool. I’d like to go back one day.”

I love the feel of her hands on my body. There is that detachment of someone who is clearly not into me. But there is also the professionalism of someone who knows that I’ve paid for an erotic massage. That idea that she’s touching me intimately, when she doesn’t really want to, is kind of exciting.

Then she does the body rub on my back. She has the beautiful natural B-cup boobs of a model that look great in the nude, with a bra under clothes, or without. But you can’t really feel them on your back. At least, I couldn’t. But the todger seemed to feel something, because he was getting all rubbery underneath. He could sense he was in the presence of greatness. This girl could be a WAG at the Brownlow – on the red carpet at the Logies – or win Fashions on the Field at the Cup.

Put a nice frock on this girl, and she’d be a real Melbourne princess. Take it off, and . . . well, here we are.

She goes back to rubbing my bum with her hands and then moves down to my legs.

The music that she put on her phone is crap and she changes it. During the lull I can hear the sound of someone else being buzzed up to the apartment. Peak hour.

“Do you do many doubles?”

“Yeah, all the time. I quite like them.”

“It sounds like fun. I didn’t bring enough cash today. Maybe next time.”

“Yeah, there’s always next time. Sometimes we do deals where you only pay an extra $50 for the second girl. We usually do that at the end of the night. When I’m tired at the end of a long day, it’s easier with two and it gives us girls a chance to wind down and spend some time with each other before we finish up.” She actually said that. I never thought of my dick as a substitute for a glass of red wine. Drink up, ladies, and share the load.

She shifts around to do my calves and applies more oil. I get a peripheral view of that tight ass in those cute undies. I’m ready to flip, but I don’t want to rush it.

She does a long, slow rub from the top of my ass to my ankle. Two strokes on each side. It’s wonderful.

“Do you want to turn over now?”

“Yeah.” I roll over and she stands off the bed and drops her dacks. (The last time she kept them on.) She has a shaved pussy with large pink lips. I look at it and then smile up at her face. She tries to smile back but it’s not very convincing.

She settles on the bed beside me, sitting on her heels with her knees toward me, but firmly together. I reach out for her as she gets the oil and applies it to my semi-hard cock.

Her thigh is firm and athletic. The skin is sticky with sweat and my hand catches as I rub her. Her belly is beautiful and taut and she has a very neat navel. Her curves are long and gentle and I caress her narrow waist. She is so tall and elegant and beautiful, it’s intimidating. She’s a femme fuckin’ fatale for sure. And she knows it.

I start to firm up in her hand. She pumps hard and fast from the start. I hesitate to tell her to slow down, because sometimes I need this rough treatment at the start to get me going. I grab her boob and rub her nipple with my thumb. It swells and stiffens.

She glances at me from time to time and gives me a variety of looks that hover between erotic and disdainful. But who cares?

“I like your tattoo,” I say as I rub her thigh.

“Thanks. That was my first one.”

“Is it writing?”

“Yeah. Have you seen Lord of the Rings?”

“Yeah . . .” And then I realise. “Is it elvish?”

“Yeah.”

“Cool.”

“Thanks.”

She keeps wanking me and I am fat and hard but not big. She is still going hard and fast. I’m not in danger of going soft, but I’m not in danger of coming either.

“If you slow down a bit, it’ll work better.” She slows without saying anything. I immediately get longer in her hand and she smiles to herself.

I feel I should stop groping her model body and focus more on what she’s doing to my dick. But I keep groping. I can’t help it. I also stare at her face. She is so pretty.

Her arm tires and she shifts to a two-handed grip. I’m now big enough to fill both hands and it feels good. She could make me come if she keeps that up.

She senses the change and pumps me faster. I still think she’d get there quicker if she went slower, but I just let her do what she does. It won’t be long now.

“I’m going to come for you Aria!” She doesn’t smile or show any emotion. Only her lips part slightly in anticipation.

It is one of those ordinary, satisfying orgasms. No wild spurting, but a blessed relief. She keeps pumping me till the end.

“Does that feel better, Andy?”

“It does. Thanks Aria.”

“Do you want some tissues?”

“Yes please.”

She throws a half-finished toilet roll at me from the en suite. She’s all class. “I’ve just got to step out for a minute.” She goes out through the sliding door without any clothes on. I watch that cute bum of hers as she leaves. It’s hard not to.

I must admit I don’t understand this aspect of the 140 club service model. THEY make a big mess and expect YOU to clean it up. Teenagers!

I have a shower and get dressed. When I open the door there is a beautiful dark Mediterranean girl waiting for me in a negligee. I suspect she is Natalia, the Turkish girl who advertises doubles with Ava.

“Aria has another booking, so I’ll show you out.”

I leave the apartment in a daydream of a $280 double with Aria and Natalia. The sting is complete.

All jokes aside, falling arse backwards into bed with Aria is not the worst thing that could happen to a bloke. I’ll admit she suffers from high self-esteem. But with a body like that, why wouldn’t she?

---