Who Knew?
Introduction:
My first time
[b]It was a sunny afternoon in Glendale CA. I headed to Jack In The Box for a burger and something to drink . I had no idea what was about to happen that day or how future events would change my life. I’ve been a straight, married man for 13 years and have always been faithful to my wife. Having been in several rock bands I have always had the opportunity to seduce other women and basically have free reign to do almost anything I wanted.
I am attractive. 6′ 225 with long hair, and 13% body fat. My sculpted pecs and hair draw attention from both men and women. For years there had always been that little butterfly, that flicker when a man looked at me a certain way along with the fear of what actually being with a man might be like. Especially someone tall and strong with big hands. I had always dismissed the feeling as I had been raised to accept that man and man are just not made for each other. It gave me a sinking feeling thinking of my Dad’s words and how he dispised gay men.
When I was 11 yrs old my brother and I used to play around. We would get naked and touch each other. Innocently of course. It was never rehearsed. At one point he coerced me into sucking his cock. It was strange, but somehow erotic for me even though there was a resistance to the act. I loved my big brother and so I did it thinking no one would know. For years, he would be the only man I would touch. At 11, what did I know? My brother was a very important part of my life and I trusted him implicitly. He would never harm me intentionally. He was 16 at the time.
I was raised in a strict Catholic household. A household where the thought of being gay never crossed my mind because of my father. He was a big, loud man who “ruled with an iron fist”. He was in construction and always seemed homophobic. He bashed the gay lifestyle every chance he got and for a very long time I accepted it. The mere thought of being gay never crossed my mind, even though I had the experience with my brother as a pre-teen. My mother was very nurturing and she and I spent a lot of time together as a child.
Once I hit 18 I pretty much had my way with women as I was in a well known band and pussy from that point was never a problem. Strangely, it was not until years later that I started to wonder what having a cock in my hand might be like. I am about 7″ and fairly thick, but seeing a fat cock bigger than my own began to intrigue me. I searched the internet for pictures and started watching short gay clips. I would get so excited that I could get myself off in less than 15 seconds. The habit of watching gay porn became progressive and more time consuming and I never ever told my wife what I was thinking. Again, I was raised to believe that being gay was a sin in the eyes of God and so had she. I never even spoke of any of my fantasies to anyone. I was afraid of the reaction and the outcome.
Years later I found myself looking at personal ads and would masterbate to the thought of meeting a man and sucking his cock and maybe even letting him fuck me. I would look at the ads and again, come in seconds form the excitement. I would however NEVER give in to my fantasies and self created vivid, and explicit stories.
Cut to present day at the Jack In The Box, the tall strong and well groomed man who flashed me a smile and asked: “Are you in a band?” There was that butterfly again damnit! I got a little scared. My voice quivered a bit: “Uhh…yeah, what clued you in”? I said sarcastically. “The hair”, he said, “you got cool hair”. “Thanks” I said nervously as I got my food and walked out to my car. I immediately got hard as I thought of unzipping his fly and sucking him right there on the spot. I could’nt wait to get home to get myself off and fantasize about him.
I got in my car and started to drive out of the lot. I saw him come out in front of me and so I tried to NOT acknowledge him. At the same time I wanted to. I AM SOOOO FUCKED UP!! Then, HE STOPPED RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY CAR! Oh my fucking God!! My heart started pounding a mile a minute. I had to stop my car as he walked around to my window. “What!” I said arrogantly as he leaned down to my window. He said: “Hey man….I’m a bass player….you wanna jam sometime?” “NO!” I said nervously as thoughts of my Dad rode through my mind. “I can’t” I said “I don’t even know you…”
“It’s cool he said, I’ve been playing for 14 years and I’m good. Besides, good drummers are hard to come by”, he said as he smiled. (My sticks on the dash gave me away) There went that butterfly in my stomach again. I could see him look down at my cock which at the time looked like I a small cucumber in my pocket. “Come on man….it’ll be fun!” I sized him up again and said “Nah man….it’s cool, but thanks” He handed me a business card that said “Bass, Vocals and Lyrics, there is nothing I can’t do” I took it and rudely drove off. My heart was pounding.
When I got home I wasted no time. I pulled out my cock and stroked it. I came almost immediately thinking of Ron getting me from behind and finishing in my mouth. My God I was sooooooo horny. I looked at his card for days and thought: “What the fuck am I going to do?” I was confused and excited at the same time.
A week and a half later, my wife went to see her mother on the east coast and I was alone in my house.for the first time in about a year. I went to the local vid store and seached for a gay vid that was as close to my fantasy / reality as possible. I took it home and got off like four or five times throughout the course of the day. But somehow, it just was not enough. I wanted Ron. I wanted his cock in my mouth. I wanted to grab it and guide it into my ass and beg him to squirt a big load down my throat. I could NOT stop thinking about it. I sat at the phone with his card in my hand for what seemed like hours. Finally, I had made up my mind that I would call him ONLY TO JAM! and that would be all. Seeing him again would be enough to fulfill my fantasy and I would’nt do ANYTHING! So I thought. It would be “masterabatory material” at best.
I dialed his number and my voice nevously shook again. ” RR Ron..?.” I said. “Who’s this” he said. “John I said……ummm er… we met at Jack In The Box” “The drummer” he said excitedly “Heyyyyyyy!” he said. My heart pounded again furiously. “What’s up dude…. you w w wanna jam or what?” I said. “Fuck yeah”, he said….”where you at man” My voice quaked. Griffith Park I said, do you know where the observatory is? “Duh”. he said, of course…..hey, I’m glad you called!” “Kk kool” I said, “when do want to do this?”
“How about a little later on today?” I got so scared at that point I had to take a deep breath. “S s sure” I said….”when?” “Dude, 3 works for me….” “Cool” I said, “sounds cool”. I gave him my address and my hands shook as I hung up the phone. OMFG! What was I thinking?! I’m not gay, I’m not. Why am I soooooo fucking turned on right now? What am I going to do? WTF…am I going to do?
I paced and paced. Then I paced some more. I held Ron’s card in one hand and the phone in the other. I was going to call and cancel. I was sooooo fucking scared. My hands shook. I finally just decided, fuck it! and I dialed his number. (323) _ _ _ _ _ _ _
It rang and rang with no answer. Man I was fucking scared. I was soooo scared. I paced and paced. Then the doorbell rang at 2:55. I looked at the microwave as it rang and I remember. I looked at the outline of Ron in the doorway curtain and my cock twitched as I walked nervously to answer it. “Heyyyyyyyyy” he said as I opened the door. “What’s up dude!” he said. “Let me go and get my gear” My heart pounded. I watched him get all his stuff and bring it into my garage. I closed to door as he began to set up. “Nice kit” he said as he eyed my Tama’s. “Fucking…black….. I love it!” As he was setting up his cords and moving his shit around I went into the bathroom. “Be right back I said” and walked out. My heart was pounding so hard I thought I might have a heart attack. I was soooooo scared. I put on my Nike tank top and went back out to the garage where Ron was tuning up. He had a bad ass Yamaha Bass custom caramel colored and sleek. I got behind my kit as he smiled thinking: “OMFG! he’s here….”
We played for almost two hours straight and it WAS AWESOME! Ron was a fucking pro and being one myself we clicked unbelieveably well. It was intoxicating playing with him. All the while I thought of him shooting his load in my mouth. I stayed hard basically the whole time we played.
We broke. He asked where the bathroom was and I told him. I walked through the house to show him and pointed down the hall. “Nice tile” he said as he closed the door. My hands started shaking again and I walked into the kitchen, got out a bottle of Crown and slammed about half a glass of it. I was shaking again and I had to do something to take the edge off. Within a minute I started to ease down.
As if in an episode of “The Twilight Zone” Ron called me from the other room. “John” he said “Come here a sec will ya…” I turned the corner,and on the bed was the one of the biggest cocks I had ever seen. Ron had stripped and was laying on MY BED! My WIFE’S BED!! OMFG! I shook as I looked at his cock. It was slim and long. It had to be 9 inches. The look on Ron’s face was more than I could stand. I walked over to the bed and grabbed it! I put it in my mouth and moaned. OMG! I was soooooo fucking hard and horny. I sucked him like it was the last cock on earth and I had 5 minutes to live. It was sooooooo HOT. His cock tasted so good. A little bit of pre cum dribbled into my mouth and I thought “WHY THE FUCK DID I WAIT SO LONG TO DO THIS!” I sucked it, and sucked it loving every inch and vein of that amazing COCK! My first time was everything I dreamed it would be, and Ron’s sculpted abs glistened with sweat as I touched them and then reached for my own cock. I rubbed it through my pants with one hand as I stroked Ron with the other. He moaned….”OMG dude….you are sooooooogood”…..I sucked him faster and faster. I wanted his load in my mouth. I could’nt wait any longer. His legs tensed up “J J John…… I’m….c cumming…..” His cock exploded like a fire hose. Jets of cum hit my mouth as I sucked and sucked. OMG! It was so fucking HOT! “Uhhhhhhhhhh…….ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh” he said as I licked the last drop off the tip. “That was amazing…totally fucking amazing…” he said “uuuuuh God”
I looked over at the picture of my wife in her sun dress and started to cry. As good as it all felt, I was ashamed. “What’s the matter” Ron said. I just shook my head as the tears hit the pillow I had in my hands. Ron grabbed me and pushed me back on the bed and held me close. “It’s ok” he said….(with a slight giggle) I had a feeling it was your first time. He held me and spoke softly, reasuring me that it was ok for me to do what I did and kept saying how good it was. It was sureal, but at the same time I felt safe with him. After about a half an hour he started gently rubbing my cock through my pants. The timing was perfect. He slowly unzipped me, and I helped him take off my pants. He put my cock in his mouth and moaned. “Ummmmmm” he said. “You taste so good”. Within a minute I came. Ron even swallowed my cum to my surprise. He looked up at me with those big blue eyes and said: ” I want to see you again” ” NO” I said, “I can’t…. This is NOT me.” It’s NOT. He looked seriously bummed but didn’t argue. He got up and got dressed as I sat dazed on the bed. I heard him packing his gear and I realized how confused I really was. Was I gay? Was I bi? WTF IS WRONG WITH ME! Now I was REALLY confused.
Just then Ron came back into the room and said: “I’m outa here man….you ok?” “No”…I said, “I’m NOT ok.” Ron came over and sat down again with me. “You’re a great guy”
he said….you’ll make the right choice. I found myself looking down at his cock in his pants and felt myself getting horny again. I remembered him shooting his cum in my mouth and thought: “Fuck it!” and I started kissing him. We kissed for a while, I sucked him again and just like that, he was gone. Till this day I don’t know what to do. This was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, but I don’t know what to do.
My wife came home later that week and things seemed to return to some level of “normality”. Late at night though, as I lay awake sometimes, I think of Ron, his big glorious cock and what he said. “You’re a great guy….you’ll make the right choice” I swirl my tongue around at times and stare at his card thinking: What the fuck am I going to do? WTF am I going to do?
I am attractive. 6′ 225 with long hair, and 13% body fat. My sculpted pecs and hair draw attention from both men and women. For years there had always been that little butterfly, that flicker when a man looked at me a certain way along with the fear of what actually being with a man might be like. Especially someone tall and strong with big hands. I had always dismissed the feeling as I had been raised to accept that man and man are just not made for each other. It gave me a sinking feeling thinking of my Dad’s words and how he dispised gay men.
When I was 11 yrs old my brother and I used to play around. We would get naked and touch each other. Innocently of course. It was never rehearsed. At one point he coerced me into sucking his cock. It was strange, but somehow erotic for me even though there was a resistance to the act. I loved my big brother and so I did it thinking no one would know. For years, he would be the only man I would touch. At 11, what did I know? My brother was a very important part of my life and I trusted him implicitly. He would never harm me intentionally. He was 16 at the time.
I was raised in a strict Catholic household. A household where the thought of being gay never crossed my mind because of my father. He was a big, loud man who “ruled with an iron fist”. He was in construction and always seemed homophobic. He bashed the gay lifestyle every chance he got and for a very long time I accepted it. The mere thought of being gay never crossed my mind, even though I had the experience with my brother as a pre-teen. My mother was very nurturing and she and I spent a lot of time together as a child.
Once I hit 18 I pretty much had my way with women as I was in a well known band and pussy from that point was never a problem. Strangely, it was not until years later that I started to wonder what having a cock in my hand might be like. I am about 7″ and fairly thick, but seeing a fat cock bigger than my own began to intrigue me. I searched the internet for pictures and started watching short gay clips. I would get so excited that I could get myself off in less than 15 seconds. The habit of watching gay porn became progressive and more time consuming and I never ever told my wife what I was thinking. Again, I was raised to believe that being gay was a sin in the eyes of God and so had she. I never even spoke of any of my fantasies to anyone. I was afraid of the reaction and the outcome.
Years later I found myself looking at personal ads and would masterbate to the thought of meeting a man and sucking his cock and maybe even letting him fuck me. I would look at the ads and again, come in seconds form the excitement. I would however NEVER give in to my fantasies and self created vivid, and explicit stories.
Cut to present day at the Jack In The Box, the tall strong and well groomed man who flashed me a smile and asked: “Are you in a band?” There was that butterfly again damnit! I got a little scared. My voice quivered a bit: “Uhh…yeah, what clued you in”? I said sarcastically. “The hair”, he said, “you got cool hair”. “Thanks” I said nervously as I got my food and walked out to my car. I immediately got hard as I thought of unzipping his fly and sucking him right there on the spot. I could’nt wait to get home to get myself off and fantasize about him.
I got in my car and started to drive out of the lot. I saw him come out in front of me and so I tried to NOT acknowledge him. At the same time I wanted to. I AM SOOOO FUCKED UP!! Then, HE STOPPED RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY CAR! Oh my fucking God!! My heart started pounding a mile a minute. I had to stop my car as he walked around to my window. “What!” I said arrogantly as he leaned down to my window. He said: “Hey man….I’m a bass player….you wanna jam sometime?” “NO!” I said nervously as thoughts of my Dad rode through my mind. “I can’t” I said “I don’t even know you…”
“It’s cool he said, I’ve been playing for 14 years and I’m good. Besides, good drummers are hard to come by”, he said as he smiled. (My sticks on the dash gave me away) There went that butterfly in my stomach again. I could see him look down at my cock which at the time looked like I a small cucumber in my pocket. “Come on man….it’ll be fun!” I sized him up again and said “Nah man….it’s cool, but thanks” He handed me a business card that said “Bass, Vocals and Lyrics, there is nothing I can’t do” I took it and rudely drove off. My heart was pounding.
When I got home I wasted no time. I pulled out my cock and stroked it. I came almost immediately thinking of Ron getting me from behind and finishing in my mouth. My God I was sooooooo horny. I looked at his card for days and thought: “What the fuck am I going to do?” I was confused and excited at the same time.
A week and a half later, my wife went to see her mother on the east coast and I was alone in my house.for the first time in about a year. I went to the local vid store and seached for a gay vid that was as close to my fantasy / reality as possible. I took it home and got off like four or five times throughout the course of the day. But somehow, it just was not enough. I wanted Ron. I wanted his cock in my mouth. I wanted to grab it and guide it into my ass and beg him to squirt a big load down my throat. I could NOT stop thinking about it. I sat at the phone with his card in my hand for what seemed like hours. Finally, I had made up my mind that I would call him ONLY TO JAM! and that would be all. Seeing him again would be enough to fulfill my fantasy and I would’nt do ANYTHING! So I thought. It would be “masterabatory material” at best.
I dialed his number and my voice nevously shook again. ” RR Ron..?.” I said. “Who’s this” he said. “John I said……ummm er… we met at Jack In The Box” “The drummer” he said excitedly “Heyyyyyyy!” he said. My heart pounded again furiously. “What’s up dude…. you w w wanna jam or what?” I said. “Fuck yeah”, he said….”where you at man” My voice quaked. Griffith Park I said, do you know where the observatory is? “Duh”. he said, of course…..hey, I’m glad you called!” “Kk kool” I said, “when do want to do this?”
“How about a little later on today?” I got so scared at that point I had to take a deep breath. “S s sure” I said….”when?” “Dude, 3 works for me….” “Cool” I said, “sounds cool”. I gave him my address and my hands shook as I hung up the phone. OMFG! What was I thinking?! I’m not gay, I’m not. Why am I soooooo fucking turned on right now? What am I going to do? WTF…am I going to do?
I paced and paced. Then I paced some more. I held Ron’s card in one hand and the phone in the other. I was going to call and cancel. I was sooooo fucking scared. My hands shook. I finally just decided, fuck it! and I dialed his number. (323) _ _ _ _ _ _ _
It rang and rang with no answer. Man I was fucking scared. I was soooo scared. I paced and paced. Then the doorbell rang at 2:55. I looked at the microwave as it rang and I remember. I looked at the outline of Ron in the doorway curtain and my cock twitched as I walked nervously to answer it. “Heyyyyyyyyy” he said as I opened the door. “What’s up dude!” he said. “Let me go and get my gear” My heart pounded. I watched him get all his stuff and bring it into my garage. I closed to door as he began to set up. “Nice kit” he said as he eyed my Tama’s. “Fucking…black….. I love it!” As he was setting up his cords and moving his shit around I went into the bathroom. “Be right back I said” and walked out. My heart was pounding so hard I thought I might have a heart attack. I was soooooo scared. I put on my Nike tank top and went back out to the garage where Ron was tuning up. He had a bad ass Yamaha Bass custom caramel colored and sleek. I got behind my kit as he smiled thinking: “OMFG! he’s here….”
We played for almost two hours straight and it WAS AWESOME! Ron was a fucking pro and being one myself we clicked unbelieveably well. It was intoxicating playing with him. All the while I thought of him shooting his load in my mouth. I stayed hard basically the whole time we played.
We broke. He asked where the bathroom was and I told him. I walked through the house to show him and pointed down the hall. “Nice tile” he said as he closed the door. My hands started shaking again and I walked into the kitchen, got out a bottle of Crown and slammed about half a glass of it. I was shaking again and I had to do something to take the edge off. Within a minute I started to ease down.
As if in an episode of “The Twilight Zone” Ron called me from the other room. “John” he said “Come here a sec will ya…” I turned the corner,and on the bed was the one of the biggest cocks I had ever seen. Ron had stripped and was laying on MY BED! My WIFE’S BED!! OMFG! I shook as I looked at his cock. It was slim and long. It had to be 9 inches. The look on Ron’s face was more than I could stand. I walked over to the bed and grabbed it! I put it in my mouth and moaned. OMG! I was soooooo fucking hard and horny. I sucked him like it was the last cock on earth and I had 5 minutes to live. It was sooooooo HOT. His cock tasted so good. A little bit of pre cum dribbled into my mouth and I thought “WHY THE FUCK DID I WAIT SO LONG TO DO THIS!” I sucked it, and sucked it loving every inch and vein of that amazing COCK! My first time was everything I dreamed it would be, and Ron’s sculpted abs glistened with sweat as I touched them and then reached for my own cock. I rubbed it through my pants with one hand as I stroked Ron with the other. He moaned….”OMG dude….you are sooooooogood”…..I sucked him faster and faster. I wanted his load in my mouth. I could’nt wait any longer. His legs tensed up “J J John…… I’m….c cumming…..” His cock exploded like a fire hose. Jets of cum hit my mouth as I sucked and sucked. OMG! It was so fucking HOT! “Uhhhhhhhhhh…….ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh” he said as I licked the last drop off the tip. “That was amazing…totally fucking amazing…” he said “uuuuuh God”
I looked over at the picture of my wife in her sun dress and started to cry. As good as it all felt, I was ashamed. “What’s the matter” Ron said. I just shook my head as the tears hit the pillow I had in my hands. Ron grabbed me and pushed me back on the bed and held me close. “It’s ok” he said….(with a slight giggle) I had a feeling it was your first time. He held me and spoke softly, reasuring me that it was ok for me to do what I did and kept saying how good it was. It was sureal, but at the same time I felt safe with him. After about a half an hour he started gently rubbing my cock through my pants. The timing was perfect. He slowly unzipped me, and I helped him take off my pants. He put my cock in his mouth and moaned. “Ummmmmm” he said. “You taste so good”. Within a minute I came. Ron even swallowed my cum to my surprise. He looked up at me with those big blue eyes and said: ” I want to see you again” ” NO” I said, “I can’t…. This is NOT me.” It’s NOT. He looked seriously bummed but didn’t argue. He got up and got dressed as I sat dazed on the bed. I heard him packing his gear and I realized how confused I really was. Was I gay? Was I bi? WTF IS WRONG WITH ME! Now I was REALLY confused.
Just then Ron came back into the room and said: “I’m outa here man….you ok?” “No”…I said, “I’m NOT ok.” Ron came over and sat down again with me. “You’re a great guy”
he said….you’ll make the right choice. I found myself looking down at his cock in his pants and felt myself getting horny again. I remembered him shooting his cum in my mouth and thought: “Fuck it!” and I started kissing him. We kissed for a while, I sucked him again and just like that, he was gone. Till this day I don’t know what to do. This was one of the most amazing experiences of my life, but I don’t know what to do.
My wife came home later that week and things seemed to return to some level of “normality”. Late at night though, as I lay awake sometimes, I think of Ron, his big glorious cock and what he said. “You’re a great guy….you’ll make the right choice” I swirl my tongue around at times and stare at his card thinking: What the fuck am I going to do? WTF am I going to do?
XX John
