Joe died…
Those words resonated in my mind for two nights and the day in between. He had been one of the best friends I’d ever had. He loved to play music, I loved to listen.
Joe was accomplished on piano, banjo, guitar, mandolin and his biggest asset… bullshit.
He could look you in the eye and make you believe the hair on his head was blue, instead of black.
He was the best in the world when it came to ‘farting on command’… and he didn’t care where, or in front of whom… he’d cut a big one just for fun.
His laugh was contagious, and his wit was quick.
It had been years since I attended a funeral, but I surely wouldn’t miss Joe’s.

Joe’s wife, Linda, had given them two sons.
Joe, jr. (J.J) and Gary. Both boys were now young men with families of their own.
J.J. had three daughters, the oldest being seven, and Gary had a four year old son.
Although both boys looked like carbon copies of Joe, Linda loved to tease them about being the UPS man’s sons.
To the best of my knowledge (and over the years I learned a lot) Linda had never been unfaithful to Joe.
I always hoped that if she decided to, though, I would be the lucky one. I had pissed at the same urinal trough with Joe many times… I knew how small his cock was.
Verification of that came from my wife, whom he talked into giving him a head job while Linda and I watched a Cowboy’s game.

Being faithful was not something Joe could brag about. He’d fuck anything with a pussy… and Linda knew, but accepted it as ‘being a man’.

Carly and I had done a little swinging, on occasion, since about our twelfth year of marriage.
Joe and I had tried several times to get Linda to ‘get with the program’ but to no avail.
Besides my own wife, I knew a few of Joe’s conquests, personally.
His own daughter-in-law, J.J.’s wife, was in bed with him several times when her husband was out of town on a long haul.

Now, Joe was dead and Carly found a personal trainer with a ten inch cock.
Linda’s arms were around my neck.
Her tears soaked my shirt and mascara smeared her cheeks as well as every shirt she had touched, “Please sit with us, Don.
You’re his best friend and mine, too.
I’ll tell the kids to move over and let you sit by me.”

“No, sweetheart, your sons need to hold your hands during the service.
I’ll sit behind you with the grandkids.
They love me and call me ‘Uncle Don’.
It’ll be good for them and me, too.
After the cemetery, I’ll drive you home and the rest can take the limos.”

It was a short service with an honor guard from the Navy. His former boss and several more from the steel plant sat directly behind us and several neighbors were there.
Linda was all over the place as we drove the eighteen miles back to her home, “What the fuck am I going to do now, Don?
I’m forty-six years old.
Joe left me plenty of money, but I need a man in my Goddamn life.
Did you know he didn’t even know how to turn the washer or dryer on? I’ve always done it…. Always.
That’s the way I was raised. A woman takes care of her man.
He could cook a good steak on the grill, you know that, but he’s never turned a burner on, on the kitchen stove…. Never.”

She cried for a few minutes, then started again, “Know what? I still need a good screwing once in a while.
Who’s going to handle that for me?”
She looked at me with a half grin, “I’m one sick bitch.
I just buried Joe and I’m already worried about feeding another man and getting fucked.
I’m so sorry I’m laying this all on you, but you’re my best friend, Don.
What am I going to do??”

“This is a hard for all of us, Linda. Once the kids and friends are all gone, you come over to my place and we’ll take all the time you need to talk, okay?”

“It may be a few days, Gary says he’s moving in to live with me.
Besides, you just want a piece of ass and, right now, I’m not ready for that… okay?”

I reached over and pinched her tit.
When she swiped at my hand, I told her, “That’s all you get from me. I’d slap your fine big ass if you weren’t sitting on it… and I’ll wait for you to wear some tight-ass jeans before I do that.
You know I loved Joe, and I love you… well, I love your tits and ass.
You know I’m not going to try anything with you.
You and me, girl, we’re just as family as the whining bunch up there in those limos.
We both know Joe didn’t keep it all at home.
We both know you did.”
I pinched her tit again, “We also both know I’ve been dying to fuck you for fifteen years.
But… I won’t, not unless you want me to.
You come to my place when you feel like it and we’ll talk about the kids, the insurance, we’ll discuss the neighbors or whatever you want to talk about.”

Linda took my hand in hers and said, “I hate it that you and Carly split.
I really was close to her, too.
I’ll come over in a couple of days and we’ll talk.”

She unbuckled her seat belt, leaned over and kissed me hard on the cheek, “You’re a good one, Don.
The problem is that you’re just as full of shit as Joe was.”

“Buckle your butt back in, woman.
And when you do come over, don’t wear panties.”

I felt wonderful when I received the punch on my shoulder.
The only thing she said was, “Bite my ass!”
I told her I’d love to…

Eight days later, my phone rang, “Hello, Puss.”

“Hi… okay if I come over for a while? I need a real person to talk to.”

“Sure, you wearing panties?”

“Asshole. Yes, I’m wearing panties, but I’m coming over anyway. See you in about thirty minutes.”

When I opened the door, Linda was standing there with the top of her underwear pulled up, exposing the pink elastic above the waist of her white shorts.
Her t-shirt had a picture of a female dog, with its tail laid to one side, inviting any one of several males.
The caption read, “I’m a real bitch.”

“See, asshole? I’m wearing panties and I don’t intend to take them off.
How do you like my shirt?”

I put my arms around her and lifted her thin frame off the porch.
Her arms wrapped around my neck and we stood still, hugging for several minutes.
She kissed my lips twice, quickly, the same little kisses we’d shared for fifteen years.
Then I put her feet back on the ground.

“I like pink. I ‘specially like how they smell, once you’ve worn them all day. I used to prowl through your hamper and treat myself to a good whiff, once in a while.”
She gave me the finger.
“As far as your shirt goes,” I took the opportunity to tweak both nipples, which I discovered were NOT hidden behind a bra, “I like your tits.
It doesn’t matter what shirt you wear.”

Many times in the past, I had wondered how a slim woman could eat so much, so I had cut up a large chef’s salad in anticipation Linda would be hungry.
We ate and made small talk.
She had stayed on poor Gary’s ass to make up his bed, wash the dishes, turn the television off by 10:30, and more…
Gary got fed up and left.
Her friends had finally begun to let up on all the prayer sessions and condolences.

“I slept so good last night, Don.
I only woke up once to go pee, then I was asleep again in five minutes.”

“You should have called me, I could have wiped that ol’ thing for you and kept you awake longer.”

Another finger stuck into the air.

“Did Joe ever tell you what instructions he gave me?”

I took a long drink of my wine and smiled, “I hope he told you to fuck my ever-lovin’ dick off.”

Both fingers this time…

“Actually, that’s pretty much what he said.
He told me that if I ever decided to share my pussy with another man, he wanted it to be you.
He loved you and knew you would never hurt me.
He also said he owed you for the blow jobs Carly had given him.

“But I’m the one who has a problem, Don.
For almost thirty years, there’s been only one dick in me.
I never cheated on Joe, nor did I swing, even with his permission.
It would have been fine with him if I’d have been fucking you for the last fifteen years, but I’m the one who held back.
Would you believe I’ve had two offers already and Joe’s only been dead for two weeks?

“I’d be happy to get naked with you right now, but I would want to commit the same way I did with Joe.
There would be no other man’s cock in me.
The difference is… I would want my pussy to be all you need, too.
There, Goddamn it, I said it.”

“I’ll be right back…”
I stepped into the bathroom, undressed, and tugged on my cock a few times.
Although I was only fifty, I had already taken a Cialis and all it took was a little stimulation.
My shaft was swollen as hard as it had ever been.

When I walked back to the kitchen, naked, her eyes popped open. I took Linda’s hand and placed it on my cock,
“Joe’s dick was quite a bit smaller than ol’ Fat Boy, here.
Are you sure you can handle one like this?
If you can, he’s yours.
You can jack him, suck him, eat him up with your cunt or your big ass.
I’ve known you long enough to know this… I’d be happy as your husband for the rest of our lives.”

I stood her up from the barstool and lifted her t-shirt over her head.
“I’m gonna eat you right here on this table, then we’re gonna fuck and fuck and fuck.”

“I already told you I’m not taking off my panties… and my ass is NOT big.”

“Nope, that’s not what you said,” I pulled the zipper down the back of her shorts, “You said you didn’t INTEND to take them off. It’s MY intention to change your intention.”

The shorts dropped to her ankles as she gave me a kiss… the kind of kiss I’d been wanting from Linda for years.
She kicked them to the side and eased her ass onto the kitchen table.
“Joe used to eat me, but just long enough to slobber a little spit on me to make it easy for him to get it in.
Just do what you want,” she grinned, “but don’t take off my panties.”

The table top was cold enough to make her catch her breath as her bare back made contact, “Oh shit! Don’t you have a towel or tablecloth to put under my back?”

As I licked her left tit I said, “Nope, I lost all that stuff in the divorce. Besides, when your skin sticks to the table, you can’t slide away from me.”

“Mmmmmmmm, that feels so good,” came the comment as I changed nipples, “God, I love being licked all over.

I slowly worked my way down her chest, her flat belly, and onto her (panty covered) puffy mound.
After enough rubbing to feel her clit harden, I pulled the strip of material to the side, exposing the most enticing cunt I’d ever seen.
Thin blonde hair, neatly trimmed but not shaven, and slim lips were inviting me… and my mouth quickly accepted the invitation.

I worked my tongue up and down the entire length of her crack, from asshole to love button.
I wanted, no… NEEDED to get my fingers inside her.
Grasping the panty crotch in both hands, I tore the thin fabric apart, completely exposing my beautiful objective.

“What did you just do?”

“Your panties were in the way.
You didn’t want them off, so I tore the crotch out.
Lay back down.”

She called me a son-of-a-bitch and mumbled something about her favorite ones, then groaned with pleasure as she reclined onto the table top, again.

I resumed the ministrations with my tongue and add my nose to the process.
While my nose rubbed her clit back and forth, I began working at both holes with my tongue.
Her hands went to the sides of my head, kneading from my jaw line to top of my scalp.
Her deep, gasping breaths and low moans told me I was doing the right job.

I moved my lips to her clit and started sucking, slightly scraping it with my teeth every fourth or fifth draw.
Insertion of my ring finger in to her tight ass brought a flinch, followed by a louder groan…
But when my index and middle fingers began working into her cunt, her ass came off the table…

“OH SHHHHHHIT, DON! I’M GONNA… OH, I’M CUMMINGGGGG!!
OH MY GOD… OH MY GOD… OH MY GODDDDDDDDD!!!!
EAT ME, EAT ME, EAT MEEEEE!!”

As she began to calm down, I ‘walked’ my two fingers across her g-spot.
BAM!!
Another orgasm crashed down on her and I was barely able to hold her on the table.
I was hoping it wouldn’t collapse.
When Linda quit thrashing, I took her in my arms and kissed her face, neck and tits for several minutes.

Easily, I carried her to my bed… soon to be OUR bed.
She slipped her torn, pink panties from her waist and tossed them at me.
Her legs were already spread, anticipating my cock… the largest ‘actual’ one she’d ever seen.

I walked across the king-size bed on my knees until I was positioned between her legs.
She was begging for me to fuck her, to hold her, to love her…
I touched the head of ol’ Fat Boy to her slit.
She tried to hump hard enough to make it enter her.
I teased her for a long, few seconds… then I jammed my whole seven inches to the hilt with one thrust.

“AIEEEEE!! SHIT!… GOD, YES, FUCK ME CRAZY!!”

Linda’s pussy was much tighter than Carly’s had been.
Joe (god rest his soul as I fuck his widow) hadn’t had enough dick to hurt her at all.
I intended to loosen her up…

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