Introduction:
Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor
Chapter Twenty: Train Rides and Mad Monkeys
Disclaimer: Not mine, I own nothing. I’m not making any money.
WARNING: Harsh Language, adult themes, sexual situations (i.e. smut), bad spelling and grammar.
Author’s Notes: This story is a broad farce with over the top humor (a good deal of it is crude and sexual) and OOC actions (that’s Out Of Character if you don’t know). Also, this is my first smut-ish fic. If you don’t like sex and sex-based humor, do NOT read this!
Chapter Twenty: Harry and Hermione face off against the Death Eater Threat and then face off against their dry spell.
“Awww…. Did we interrupt?” the Death Eater asked mockingly as he pointed at Harry’s crotch. Harry looked down at his lap and found/ ‘Harry, Jr.’ sleeping in the open air, oblivious to the danger around it. Of course, ‘Harry, Jr.’ /didn’t really give a damn about the danger. The organ was pleased as punch that it had finally gotten to play with Hermione after such a long dry spell and nothing else mattered. As quickly as he could, Harry stuffed his penis back into his trousers.
A scream sounded from somewhere on the train behind the Death Eater. It was clear that there had to be other Death Eaters throughout the train and that they were terrorizing the students. Somehow, they had broken through the various wards and protections around the train and were able to board it.
Two more Death Eaters stepped over the rubble that used to be the door and walked into the Head Compartment. With a growl, Hermione stood and boldly leveled her wand at the first Death Eater. Harry went to pull out his wand but found it missing. Looking around, he spotted it lying against the wall about four feet away. The wand must have popped out of his pocket and rolled away when the train came to a screeching halt.
“Ooooh, doesn’t she look mad,” one of the Death Eaters who had just entered said with fake fear. In all honesty, Harry wouldn’t have been surprised to see steam shoot out of Hermione’s ears she was so angry.
“Why is she so upset?” the third asked with no sincerity.
“It looked like the Boy Who Lived was about to shag her,” the first Death Eater informed his cohorts.
“But…. but I thought… isn’t Potter gay?” the second Death Eater asked in confusion.
“Yeah, he and that Malfoy boy are supposed to be an item,” the third voiced.
“Maybe she was trying to/ ‘convert’ /him,” the first offered.
“I’ll give you three seconds to leave,” Hermione threatened. Her voice was dripping with malice and her face was twisted in anger. Harry slowly inched his way toward his wand while the three Death Eaters had their attention on Hermione.
“My, oh my,” the first said lightly. “I was right; this little witch was about to try and sway the poof away from Malfoy with her feminine wiles.”
“One,” Hermione counted off.
“And she’s a little worked up over it isn’t she?” the second added.
“Deary, he’s a lost cause,” the third pointed out.
“Two,” continued Hermione.
“The boy obviously likes sausage,” the first stated.
“No box lunch for that one,” the second commented.
“Three,” Hermione said and then incanted the Stinging Hex: “Mordeo Acuo!”
/ /Normally, a Stinging Hex would be nothing more than a mild annoyance. But this would be the first time Hermione had cast this simple hex since she had performed the power boosting ritual with Harry. Needless to say, this (quite pleasurable to Harry) ritual would increase the effectiveness of the Hex. Added to this, Hermione was pointing her wand at someplace that could cause a lot of pain no matter how powerful the hex; the first Death Eater’s groin. Apparently, Hermione was quite irate that they had interrupted her and her selection of a target gave proof of her current mindset.
The Death Eater dropped to the floor clutching his bits and screamed. At first, his scream was manly; a deep, rumbling cry of pain. But very rapidly, the scream got higher and higher. It had gotten so high pitched that it hurt Harry’s ears and he reckoned that dogs all along the countryside were howling madly at the odd noise.
The two other Death Eaters looked in fear at their fallen comrade for a full three seconds. Then, in unison, they both looked at Hermione for one second. And finally they looked at their own crotches in dread before slowly backing out the ruined door.
“Sorry about the interruption, Miss,” the second Death Eater said with nervous politeness.
“Yes, please continue as if we were never here,” the third added with and equal amount of cordial fear. It was clear that neither of them wanted to suffer the same fate as the Death Eater who was still screaming shrilly on the floor. As they left the compartment, one of the retreating Death Eaters tried to make amends by magically repairing the ruined door.
“I’ll put up a/ ‘do not disturb’ sign up,/ for you two,” one stated through the door. “That way no one will bother you again.”
Another terrified scream filtered through the door and Harry shared a look with Hermione. Even though they both wanted to end their dry spell as soon as possible, they knew it would be wrong to do so when the other students were in trouble. /’Harry, Jr.’, /who had just woken up, was arguing that the students could handle things themselves. But Harry ignored his organ’s protest and fetched his wand.
Hopping over the injured Death Eater – who was now curled up in a tight ball while clinging to his… well, balls – Harry and Hermione dashed out of the Head Compartment. The first car they entered had two Death Eaters in it. Each villain had a young witch under each arm and Hermione quickly dispatched them with two powerful Stunners that sent the Death Eaters crashing into the wall. Harry quickly conjured some chains and bound the villains before heading further down the train.
In the next car, Harry found Ron and Luna – still polyjuiced to look like Hermione – tying up three more Death Eaters. Ron looked quiet upset as he tied up one Death Eater. As Harry and the real Hermione rushed passed their friends, Harry noticed that even though Ron and Luna were wearing their school robes, they were noticeably naked underneath. Unfortunately for Harry’s sake, he was also able to tell that Ron was still fully aroused. Harry guessed that the married couple only had enough time to do the deed twice, which just meant that Ron was just getting started, before they were attacked. The unfortunate interruption accounted for Ron’s temper.
The third car Harry and Hermione entered only contained frightened students huddled in various compartments. Some pointed toward the opposite end of the car and muttered, “They went that way.”
Glancing outside the window Harry noticed that the train had stopped on a bridge over a large valley and that the earth was a hundred feet below them. The Death Eaters must have chosen this spot for their attack because it ruled out any chance for the students to hop off the train and run away. The students were effectively trapped.
In the fourth car, Neville and Ginny were facing off against one Death Eater. Apparently, the villain had disarmed both Neville and Ginny. But being unarmed did not stop the two teenagers. Neville had a hold of the Death Eater’s collar and was throwing the villain back and forth between two walls. The Death Eater was bruised and bloodied and was shouting “OW! STOP IT!” repeatedly as he hit the walls. Ginny kept busy by occasionally slapping the Death Eater as Neville tossed him about.
“Harry, they’re trying to take the younger students,” Hermione announced as they rushed toward the last car. Harry had noticed that two more girls had been huddled next to Neville as he continued his violent and very physical assault on the Death Eater. He didn’t know why they wanted children, but Harry was determined to stop them.
When Harry and Hermione entered the final car, they found four Death Eaters attempting to mount brooms. Each one was carrying a bound first or second year. Harry quickly leveled his wand at the Death Eaters’ heads and shouted “Stupefy!” while focusing on his love for Hermione.
A red arc erupted from Harry’s wand and collided with three of the Death Eaters. Harry had aimed high in order to avoid hitting any of the girls, but he had missed the fourth thug. The fourth Death Eater hopped on his broom and started to take off. Hermione reacted quickly and hit him with a Stunner. The Death Eater pitched off his broom and landed on the steps but unfortunately, he dropped his hostage. Realizing that the girl was going to fall into the chasm below, Harry jumped out of the car and grabbed onto the girl’s hand as she started to plummet into the ravine.
“I’ve got you,” Harry grunted and pulled the screaming girl back onto the train. Once inside the train, the tiny girl grabbed onto Harry as if he was the only thing stopping her from falling to her death. She wrapped her arms around his chest and her legs around his waist and refused to let go.
Now that the immediate threat was over, Harry decided to check on his fellow students and the captured Death Eaters. He and Hermione went from car to car and they re-stunned the Death Eaters as they passed. The couple, as Head Boy and Girl, would also speak words of comfort to the most frightened students. It was fairly difficult for Harry to do this for two reasons. First, he wasn’t a wizard of many words and his idea of comforting the younger students was to say something along the lines of, “You’ll be okay.” Which really doesn’t work very well on a screaming eleven year old. The second thing that made his task difficult was that the girl Harry had rescued was still firmly wrapped around his body. He had to lumber from car to car with a first year clinging to his midsection.
A team of Aurors arrived shortly after Harry and his friends dealt with the Death Eaters. They told Harry that the Express stopped because the Death Eaters had removed several feet of rail further down the track. Then the villains had used various counter-charms to negate the protection around the train and entered.
The girl wrapped around Harry had still refused to let him go by the time the Aurors repaired the tracks and the train started its journey once again. This meant that even when the Death Eater threat had been neutralized, the prisoners had been removed, and the train continued on its trek to Hogwarts, Harry was not able to properly ravish Hermione. Harry was a patient man, but he hadn’t gotten a chance to play with Hermione for a while. Added to this, Harry felt strangely energized by the battle with the Death Eaters. He felt as if he had loads of extra energy that was demanding to be used. That, and he was literally hard as a rock. Harry considered for one short moment stunning the frightened girl so he could have his way with Hermione. But he begrudgingly realized that it would be bad to do such a thing to the poor girl.
When the Express had finally arrived at Hogsmeade station, Hagrid had to pry the girl off of Harry. Of course the girl just clamped onto Hagrid.
After he was freed of the girl, Harry eyed the Threstral drawn carts happily. Even though the ride to the castle was short, he and Hermione could perform what is colloquially known as a “quickie.” But alas, Harry’s plan was aborted again. Just as he started to kiss Hermione and fondle her breast through her robes, Neville, Ginny, Ron, and Luna piled into the cart after them.
“Isn’t there another cart you could’ve taken?” Hermione asked. It was clear that she too wanted to spend some time alone with Harry; even if it was just a/ “quickie.”/
“Did you see what Neville did?” Ginny said with a mixture of pride and excitement. “The Death Eater used a Disarming Hex on him. But that didn’t stop him, no! Neville just ran up to the ponce and punched him in the jaw!”
“That’s nice,” Harry murmured dispassionately. He was happy that Neville dealt with the Death Eater, but he was upset that he wasn’t able to take Hermione. Harry was also a little concerned that his friends would notice his aroused state, even though his robes were doing a good job of concealing it./ ‘Harry, Jr.’ was standing proud in his trousers. The organ was trying to convince Harry to take Hermione right there in front of their friends. Harry imagined his appendage pleading with him: “Go on, they won’t mind. Besides, you’d just be proving to them how much you love her!”/
/ /”Ronald performed a wonderful Impediment Jinx,” Luna announced.
“It wasn’t as good as Ginny slapping that Death Eater around,” Neville countered.
“I’ve never seen someone use a Sponge-Knees Curse as good as Luna did,” Ron added.
“Neat,” Hermione breathed out, sounding like she too was regretting their friends’ arrival as much as Harry did.
When they finally arrived at the castle, the first years were quickly sorted. Then McGonagall gave a lecture. She said something about how Aurors would be guarding the castle and that the wing where the Room of Requirement was located had been blocked off earlier in the day. She reassured the students that the attack on the train earlier was a fluke and that the castle was impenetrable.
Harry wasn’t paying too much attention to what the Headmistress was saying. Instead he was focused on his girlfriend who was equally focused on him. It was clear that she was just as eager as he was. Her eyes were dark with lust and Harry couldn’t wait to be alone with her.
Then a very happy thought came to Harry. This was the first night Harry and Hermione would be spending in the Head Boy and Head Girl apartments. In just a few minutes, they would be alone. Right after the Welcoming Feast, Harry would be making love to Hermione; their first time after a prolonged dry spell, without fear of interruption.
Professor McGonagall ended her speech and food magically appeared on every table. Harry wolfed down his meal in a few gulps. Once he had satisfied his hunger, he grabbed Hermione’s hand and said “Let’s go find the Head Boy and Girl’s chambers!”
Harry started to stand up, but Hermione tugged him back down.
“We have to wait until the feast is over,” Hermione pointed out.
The raven haired wizard groaned pitifully. He wanted to make love to Hermione and the damned feast was stopping him from doing so. He glared at his fellow students, silently willing them to eat faster so that the feast would be over. Harry shot a hateful eye at a group of fourth year Hufflepuffs who were talking instead of finishing their meals.
‘Damn then,’ /Harry thought bitterly to himself. ‘They’re dragging this out on purpose. They know the longer they take to eat the more I suffer.’/
/ /Finally, after what felt like hours, McGonagall declared the feast over by announcing that everyone should head to their Common Rooms.
“Mr. Potter, Miss Granger, a word,” McGonagall called out.
Harry fought the urge to shout/ “HELL NO!” /and run out of the Great Hall with Hermione in tow. But Harry realized that doing so would be terribly rude. So, he forced himself to shuffle up to the Headmistress.
“Here is a map leading to your chambers,” McGonagall said as she handed Hermione a piece of paper. “As Head Boy and Girl, a house-elf has been assigned to you. I took the liberty and selected Dobby to be that house-elf. He has a small room in-between your rooms. The password to get into the chamber is ‘Bubblerboth’.”
Harry was happy with the Headmistress’ choice of elf; Dobby wasn’t part of the house-elf sect that wanted to kill Harry for deflowering the Great One. And Hermione would be happy that Dobby was chosen because he was the only house-elf being paid.
“Now, you two need to be up early in the morning, so don’t stay up too late,” McGonagall said with her now-patented saucy wink.
“Don’t worry, we won’t,” Hermione said rapidly before grabbing Harry’s hand and ran out of the Great Hall.
The two lovers dashed through the halls. Harry was quite surprised;/ ‘Harry, Jr.’ /was still very hard. Even after all this time and McGonagall’s wink, he was still erect! Harry thought with amusement that he must have looked like something akin to a divining rod as he ran to his new room.
They rapidly approached a door with the Hogwarts crest carved on it. Hermione said “Bubblerboth” and threw the door open and entered.
If Harry had bothered to take the time to look around him, he would have noticed that he and Hermione had entered a small room, about a quarter the size of the Gryffindor Common Room. He would have also noticed a comfy couch, two comfortable looking chairs, two desks for homework, and a fireplace along with two doors placed on either side of a small door. But as stated previously, Harry wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings. No, his mind was firmly set on the task of making Hermione a very satisfied witch.
The moment they entered the room, he pushed Hermione onto the couch and leapt on her. He kissed her passionately, their tongues played in each others mouth. While they kissed, Hermione tugged at her clothes while Harry pulled his own off. Once they were both mostly naked (Harry still had his trainers and socks on and Hermione had her skirt hanging off of one of her ankles) Hermione commanded with a smile “Get to work.”
Harry was getting so used to activating his Parselmouth ability that he found himself not even needing to close his eyes. He slowly slid down Hermione’s body while hissing softly, which just caused goose-pimples to blossom all over her milky flesh. As he lowered himself between her legs, she started to make soft mewing sounds in anticipation. Her soft mewing instantly turned into a very enthusiastic/ “YES!” /the moment his tongue and love magic touched her flower.
He twirled his tongue around her bud and Hermione clamped her legs around his head reflexively. She squeezed her legs tighter when he gently pried apart her petals and ran his tongue up and down the inside of her labia. The brunette witch – although from Harry’s current viewpoint it would be more accurate to describe Hermione as “the completely shorn witch” – didn’t last very long. Apparently, she had wanted to end their dry spell just as much as Harry did. And just as Harry came a lot when Hermione pleasured him in the train, she erupted like a fountain. She had obviously been building up a lot as well.
“SWEET BABY MEAVE!” she cried out as her orgasm struck her. Harry lapped up her love happily.
Hermione relaxed her legs, freeing Harry to climb back up her body. The two lovers locked eyes and she reached down and guided Harry into her./ ‘Harry, Jr.’ /was so happy to be back where it belonged that it almost started crying a few seconds after it slid into Hermione’s flower. Thankfully, the organ fought the urge to finish early and valiantly continued.
“Talk dirty to me,” Harry whispered in Hermione’s ear.
Clearly, Hermione was more than happy to comply with Harry’s request. Her mouth spewed such foul and creative phrases as/ “ram me,” “I’m a dirty witch who needs to be spanked,” and many naughty words like “fuck” and “pussy” (a word which Harry was almost positive that she didn’t use in reference to Crookshanks). And added to Harry’s enjoyment, when he warned his lover that he was about to climax, she loudly demanded that he should do so in her because she wanted to be a “messy witch!”/
With both lovers panting and momentarily satiated, Harry pulled out of Hermione.
“Well… that… was… fun,” commented Hermione in between pants.
“Yeah… it… was,” Harry breathed out.
Then our hero discovered something unusual. Generally, when/ ‘Harry, Jr.’ was done playing, it’d trot off to bed for a kip. Harry was quite surprised to see his organ was still awake and…. ahem/… up for another go.
“It would be a shame to let that go to waste,” Hermione said as she eyed Harry’s erect state.
“A dreadful shame,” agreed Harry.
What followed could be best described as/ “Mad Monkey Sex.” Both made odd noises consisting of “oooh’s,””aah’s,” “eee’s,” and half a dozen “ook’s”. They also didn’t just restrain themselves to using only the couch. No, they tried to “break in,” /so to speak, as many pieces of furniture as possible. After they left the couch, Hermione was bent over one of the desks, a position that Harry thoroughly enjoyed because it gave him the opportunity to massage and fondle her round bottom as he took her from behind (and to Hermione’s pleasure, he got a few good, hard swats against those heavenly cheeks). A few moments later found Harry lying on the rug in front of the fireplace while Hermione rode him like a pony; another position that Harry found enjoyable because it gave him the chance to stroke and rub her boobs. After that, Harry took Hermione as she lay across the other desk, a position that couldn’t have been comfortable for Hermione. But judging by the happy sounds she was making and her cheers of “YES,” “RIGHT THERE!” and “FASTER,” Hermione didn’t seem to mind the hard desk pressing into her back. And at one time, both Harry and Hermione were somehow dangling from the chandelier.
Unlike their first go at lovemaking that night, Hermione climaxed. And she did so before Harry did. Harry knew that she had an orgasm because he felt her inner walls clamp down around him. That and she cried out her usual idiom when it happened: “SWEET BABY MEAVE!”
Harry came shortly after she did. Both of them were dripping with sweat – amongst other liquids – and breathing heavily at this point. Harry was beyond satisfied. Not only did he and Hermione put an end to their dry spell, but they nearly made up for any lost time in just one session. He was proud of his accomplishment but he was also ready to fall asleep. Twice in a row is very tiring for a bloke.
However, even though he was ready for a long rest,/ ‘Harry, Jr.’ wasn’t even slightly sleepy. The messy member looked up at Harry with its one eye as if it was proudly declaring /”I’m ready for another round, sir!”
/ /”Bloody hell!” exclaimed Harry.
Then Hermione made a noise. It was soft and rapid. Harry didn’t hear it clearly, but he could have sworn that she had just said/ “yippee!”/
/ /”What was that?” asked Harry.
“Oh, nothing really,” Hermione said with a very happy grin. He gave her a disbelieving look and she defended herself. “I was just commenting that all that adrenaline you had during the fight with the Death Eaters must be giving you this virility.”
“Do you think it’ll ever go down?” Harry asked.
“Hopefully not anytime soon,” Hermione uttered under her breath.
“Excuse me?”
“Sit on the chair and let me take care of that,” commanded Hermione. The tone of her voice told Harry that it would be best not to argue with her. So Harry obediently sat in the chair and Hermione promptly straddled him. She started by slowly raising and lowering herself on Harry. Then, after a bit, she increased her pace. Next, she began to grind and gyrate on/ ‘Harry, Jr.’ /in new and interesting ways. Hermione was making sweet and enjoyable sounds as she moved up, down, this way, and that. Harry just sat back and enjoyed the show.
“Hermione… I’m… gonna…” Harry began to warn her.
“Not just yet, Harry,” she moaned out. “I’m almost there.”
Harry fought it with all of his might. His face screwed up in concentration and he hoped that Hermione wasn’t lying, because he was about to lose his fight and cum.
“Oh… oh… oh…” Hermione panted.
Harry fought the urge to shout/ “Would you just finish already!”/
/ /”So-o-o close,” she muttered. “Almost… there.”
Sweat poured off of his body and he grunted. He was now starting to hurt. His body begged for release.
“Oh, Merlin Harry,” she cried. “Now, do it now.”
With a shout, Harry let go and Hermione screamed once again. She collapsed on him and her body shivered with delight.
They sat there silently, basking in each others’ warmth for some time. Then Hermione began to giggle softly in Harry’s ear. That’s when he noticed that he was still hard inside of her.
“Damn my virility,” Harry murmured in exhaustion.
“Looks like someone’s up for round four,” she said joyously and began her luscious grinding once again.
To Be Continued
Author’s Notes: Sorry about the long delay. My inspiration was chased away by issues with real life and it is slowly coming back to me.

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