That first week of college was very interesting as Adam, Jack, and I had to get into a routine getting to our classes on time. All three of us during the evenings fixed up our rooms, and the living room we shared. It was nice having them as friends. Because each one brought something to the friendship. Adam was quiet and more laid back, while Jack was the joker at always catching Adam OFF guard. He also made it clear he liked the attention as well as a good party. I though tried to keep to myself as to not bring up my past to either of them. That week I was approached by a few young women, but turned down their offers to have lunch or a fling as they called it. I wasn’t ready to be with a woman as my heart was still running cold. Some told me it was ok no problem as a few called me a few names that I ignored. I focused on my classes that week once I got into the groove.

Friday had finally came as I told Adam and Jack my plans around 5 p.m. that evening. They both told me to have a good weekend as I left with a smile plus nodded walking out the door. I made my way to a florists picking up some lilies to take to my adoptive grandmother. It’s was a 20 minute drive in which felt longer. I pulled up in the drive parking next to her F100. I got out of my truck grabbing the lilies as I did. Making my way to the door I noticed it was 5:45 p.m. as I had to fill my truck up with gas on the way. Once to the door I was about to open it just to see it open. On the other side was a very happy woman.

“ Oh Heath you did come like you told me. Come in honey and give me a hug.” May tells me as I smile

I step in to give her a tight hug in which she returns just as tight.

“ I missed you had to spend the weekend with you.” I exclaim feeling a nod against my chest

“ You even brought me flowers how nice, and my favorite.” May says breaking the hug to just take the flowers before continuing “ Have a seat while I put these in a vase then return with some tea. Have you had anything to eat yet honey?”

“ Actually no as I was hoping for some of you great cooking.” I answer getting a concerned, but loving smile

“ I think your spoiled to my cooking. Be right back honey.” May says making her way to the kitchen

I look around to see nothing had changed, but as I looked at the mantle above the chimney I see a new picture in a gold frame. I take a few steps over to look at the picture the frame holds. I smile as it’s the same picture in the locket I gave May. I stare at her smile knowing that was a good day. I feel a poke at my side to only turn to see May standing with two glasses.

“ I wanted a bigger picture then the small one of you and I. I wanted the very few people that come over to see my grandson.” May tells me as I keep my smile

“ You sure they didn’t go blind seeing my face?” I ask chuckling only to get a playful poke to my ribs
“ Your a handsome young man so none of that negative talk sonny.” May tells me handing me a glass of tea

“ Ok Grandma I was just kidding jeez.” I tell her being led to the couch

“ Now tell me all about your week. Have you met some friends yet or a lady?” Grandma May asks as I follow only to sit by her

“ Yes on the friends and no on the ladies as I am not ready to get with someone.” I answer as she nods

“ Well 1 out of two isn’t bad. So what are your new friends like?” May asks as I explain the two

I tell her about Adam and Jack as each have took me as a friend they can trust as I did with them. I tell her how Adam is quiet, but easy to talk to while Jack is a joker and likes to get attention, but is there if Adam or I need him. She listens intently with a smile to my words. It’s a nice conversation as May tells me how she’s been hoping I would come and visit her. Seems she has missed me as much as I have her. About 30 minutes later May and I are in the kitchen. I decided to help her with dinner. We talk enjoying the moment together while making steaks, fried potatoes and carrots. It’s a enjoyable evening as dinner is ate in wonderful company.

As the evening passed May and I sat on the couch enjoying shows we watched over the summer together. As night came May fell asleep leaning against my left arm. I smiled as I turned to pick her up in my arms.

“ Just 5 more minutes sweetie.” May says talking in her sleep

“ No grandma your going to beddie bye.” I tell her picking her up

Her arms go to her lap as her head goes to my left shoulder. I carry her up the stairs just to walk down the hallway. Once to her bedroom taking steps to the big bed she has. I place her down softly placing her head on the soft pillow. I pull the cover up over her body so she stays warm. I lean over to kiss her forehead to hear her speak with eyes closed.

“ I love you my grandson.” May tells me as I smile

“ I love you my loving grandmother.” I say to her hearing her soft breathing fill the room

As I make my way out of her bedroom I think of this feeling of having someone that took me in as her family. I smile getting to the door stepping into the hallway leaving the door at a crack. After tucking May in I make sure the house is safe with locked doors. I don’t want some idiot to come in to hurt the only woman I have come to call my only family. Part of myself knew I still had family on the west coast, but as the summer went by May was the closest I had around. I went to bed not long after locking the house up. Laying in bed I closed my eyes knowing this new life I was on would be one of new friends and a woman that one might say saved me. As I fell asleep my lips showed a smile that would last a nights sleep.

That weekend went by with me helping May with the lawn front and back. When I say help it was me doing it all as she made sure I didn’t pass out from the heat.I helped with some cleaning also that needed to be done. As the weekend went by May spent every moment with me. May would once in awhile tell me she loved me as her best grandson. I would tell her I was her only grandson, in which made her comeback be exactly that is your the best. As Sunday evening came I had to head back to college. It was rough on us both has we became close in a summers time. We said our love you’s as I promised to be back the following weekend. May gave me a smile saying she couldn’t wait to see her grandson. Making my way back to my second home I smiled with tears as I did that past Monday morning knowing I had a place to go to that held such love from a woman that held a part of my heart as my grandmother.

As the days turned into weeks then months. My classes got more and more interesting. I was making good grades in which May was happy about when I called telling her. I still went to visit her on the weekends in which was our time to be family. Adam, Jack and I were growing closer as well. By the middle of October we all called the other brother. I still never told them my past as I wanted to leave it there. The weekend before Halloween May asked me to invite Adam and Jack for Halloween as to have a small party. I asked if she was sure in which May told me she was. I smiled at knowing she wanted to meet the two that I called family also. When I went back to college that Sunday I told my two best friends in which they accepted saying they wanted to meet the woman that I called my grandmother. As that week went by Adam and Jack kept asking what to wear as if they were going on dates. I rolled my eyes each time telling them to just wear what they do as May was a down to earth woman. They both understood with nods and smiles. As the weekend of Halloween arrived that Friday Adam and Jack followed me to May’s. Once we arrived around 6 p.m. May was already out front waiting. As we pulled up me in the drive with Jack parking behind me. We got out making our way to where she stood on the porch. I gave her a hug as I always did just to break it to introduce my friends.

“ Grandma May please meet Adam and Jack. Guys this is my grandmother May.” I stated as they gave her a hug out of respect

“ It’s nice to meet you both as my grandson has told me so much about you.” May says catching the two with smiles

“ As he has told us about you ma’am. You have a nice place.” Adam says breaking the hug

“ Yeah it’s nice to finally meet the woman that helped our brother this past summer.” Jack exclaimed with a smile

“ Well thank you both now come in and relax. I made sure to get enough party stuff for us all this weekend.” May says as the guys start in followed by May and I

Once in Adam and Jack are amazed by the inside as the living room is big. Jack goes to the back double doors to look out.

“ Why did you have the beach blocked by the 6 ft. fence ma’am.” Jack asks as May giggles

“ Jack man maybe she had her reason to.” Adam says as I chuckle
“ Adam, is right jack I had my reason as to keep teenagers and party animals out of the pool. Plus my house have you seen that John Candy movie of the people going into his house?” May says as Adam shakes his head as Jack laughs

“ Yep I have that was one of his best. Adam bro you have to see it.” Jack exclaims as Adam shrugs

“ And please call me May or grandma ok.” May says as the guys looked at each other

“ Ok May, but out of respect of my brother Heath I can’t call you grandma as he feels that close to you.” Adam says getting a nod

“ I can respect that Adam and thank you for being very kind. So you boys hungry I am sure my Heath is.” May says as they nod

That evening was filled with May and I cooking as the guys sat waiting. Jack told May some of his jokes making her laugh something fierce. Adam just shook his head while drinking on the tea I got him. As dinner got done May and I sat across from each other as Adam and Jack in opposite chairs. Both my best friends enjoyed the food saying it was the best they had in a long time. We talked and laughed during dinner. After dinner Adam as well as Jack offered to wash up so May and I could relax. Grandma tried to protest only to be asked. After a few minutes she agreed taking my hand to follow her. Once in the living May smiled telling me she liked my friends knowing I was in good hands at college. I agreed hearing Jack laugh only telling me he got one up on Adam. After my adopted brothers were done they joined May and I, but not before Adam refreshed May and my glasses. We all sat watching t.v. as the movies May chose for the weekend. I sat back watching as my grandmother, Adam, and Jack were getting along. I thought nothing except this was the start of a new family, and one I would protect with my life. That night May showed Adam and Jack where they would sleep. May’s house was a 15 bedroom 5 bathroom so she had plenty of room for us. That night before sleep May came to my bedroom to give me a big hug and kiss on my forehead only to sit on the edge by me.

“ Heath I love you son and hope you know how much.” May tells me getting a warm smile

“ I do Grandma as I love you just as much.” I answer as she smiles

“ I know so get some sleep as tomorrow is going to be fun. The most we have had in awhile.” She tells me as I nod with a smile

That night my dreams came with happiness and love as they were filled with the other three people that were asleep in the house.

That weekend was filled with fun as we watched movies, played games, and listened to music. Grandma May wanted to dance with us each. I guess she hasn’t in a long while as this moment felt right. There was nothing sexual or out of the ordinary about the dancing as it was just us all being a family. After all the dancing was done May thanked each of us with a kiss on the forehead. Adam, Jack, and I told her she was welcome and anytime. That night around 11 p.m. May fell asleep on my right arm again. And like the very few times I took May up to her bedroom. Adam and Jack asked if I needed help as I shook my head no. After I placed May on her bed she held onto my neck pulling me down to kiss my forehead. She let me go to look in my eyes.

“ Heath you mean so much to me. I can’t thank you enough for coming into my life. I love you so much grandson.” May tells me as I smile

“ As you do to me grandma May. I love you just as much. Now close those beautiful eyes and get some rest.” I tell her getting a nod from her with a smile

As every other time I listen to her soft breathing making my way out to the hall leaving the door at a crack. That night I sat up with my two friends talking about nothing that important. Both tell me they like May saying she is a very cool woman. Adam makes a point as saying she is a very loving person with a big heart. Jack agrees as I do looking up at the hallway. It’s around 1 p.m. when we go to bed. Jack decides to crash on the couch saying the idiots are out making me know he will stop anyone from getting in if they try. Adam helps me make sure the doors are locked to keep grandma safe. That night as I slept I dreamt of my father. I don’t know why he came to be in this dream, but I was glad as I knew he was still with me after all that has happen in my life as thus this far. I felt a smile crept upon my lips feeling love from the smile he shown me.

After that Halloween weekend Adam and Jack took May in as one of us as Family. May also took them in as Grandsons into her heart. As the next week rolled by and the weekend came I went to visit May like always. And as always she would meet me at the front door with a smile, but this time she had a cold. I tended to her that weekend, but this time she wanted to have me sleep next to her. I did as she asked keeping her warm as I held her. I made sure she was comfortable fixing her soup as that night she feed me. Before I left that Sunday she was feeling a bit better as she walked me to my truck. Before I got in May suggested that Adam, Jack, and I come for Thanksgiving as it would be a family get together between us four. Smiling at the thought I exclaimed I would tell them giving her a tight hug. May gave me a hug back only to break it saying I better get or she would keep me hostage until Thanksgiving. We both laughed as I got in my truck.

The week before Thanksgiving was here as Adam, Jack, and I were looking forward to spending turkey day with May. It was a Wednesday as I just got out of my last class of the day. I had to make a trip to the store to get supper as it was my night. So as I got to my truck around 3:30 p.m. I had just put my bag in the driver seat when I heard a throat clear.

“ Are you Heath Thompson young man?” The voice asked as I turned to see who it was

Standing there was a Sheriff, and his deputy I guessed.

“ Yes, have I done something wrong officer’s.” I asked feeling scared all the sudden

“ No son far from it so calm down.” The Sheriff tells me as I nod

“ So what is this about if I may ask?” I say asking him as he looks at his female deputy
“ Heath, do you know a Ms. May Griffin?” The female deputy asks getting a nod

“ Yes, she is like a grandmother to me. Why do you ask is she ok?” I ask not liking the looks they both had

“ Is there anywhere we can talk son?” The sheriff asks as I shake my head

“ Sir if it’s all alright could you just please tell me what is going on.” I say seeing him debate about my request

“ Heath, she was found dead this morning by a neighbor. The neighbor told us about you going to school here.” The female deputy tells me as my heart sinks

“ No she can’t be as I just talked to her last night. She never shown any signs of bad health.” I exclaim as I back up to sit

“ Son we know this is hard, but we are just doing our duty. She named you her sole heir so her attorney asked us to give you his card.” The sheriff tells me as I numbly take it

“ If you need anything from our station give me a call.” The female deputy tells me getting a nod

They give me their condolences as they walk away leaving me there. I look at the card to see the attorney’s name and number. He put a time for me to see him which was next Wednesday. I shake my head back and forth feeling tears come to my eyes. I stop to see two familiar faces looking at me very concerned as I cry.

“ Heath bro what is it? Why are you crying man?” Jack asks me as I stand up to hug him

“ Jack I don’t like this one bit.” Adam says standing by Jack

“ Me either Adam, Heath what is wrong man? As this isn’t like you bro.” Jack says as my tears continue to fall

“ It’s May she’s….she’s..” I say trailing off as he breaks the hug having me sit in the truck

“ She’s what heath? Look at me she’s what?” Jack says trying to stay calm

“ SHE’S DEAD OH GOD SHE”S DEAD!” I yell feeling my self lose control

“ Come on Heath you need to calm down. Jack help me get him to our dorm.” Adam says taking my left arm as Jack gets my right

“ She’s gone Grandma’s gone.” I say feeling hurt and lost again as I did before summer

“ Calm down bro you have us to help you through this. We are not going anywhere.” Adam tells me as they help me to our dorm room

That evening goes slow as I sat on the couch. Both my friends help me the best they can. After I finally calm down Adam suggest I call the attorney to get more information as to May like if there is a funeral or what. I nod knowing he is right on that note as I didn’t know what to do. I got my phone from my jacket and with card in hand dialed the number. The phone rung a few times until a woman answered. She told me her name being Susan. I told her I needed to speak to Mr. Erik Goldsteen. She asked what it was about in which I said grandma May’s name. Susan told me to hold for a minute. It was just a few seconds that he got on the phone.

“ Is this Heath Thompson?” He asked with a calm tone but curious

“ Yes sir, I am Heath, the reason I am calling is the sheriff didn’t tell me of how to get ahold of a funeral home or anything of that matter.” I exclaimed to him as I heard a sigh

“ Heath, I already have that taken care of. She isn’t having a funeral as she didn’t want one. She wanted to be cremated. I know this is hard for you as May has told me so much about you. Look come to my office next Wednesday and we will talk. If you need anything between now and then just call me. And please accept my deepest condolences.” Mr. Goldsteen tells me as I have tears

“ Thank you sir for explaining it to me. I will see you next Wednesday then.” I say as we hang up

Adam and Jack look at me very intently as I try to calm myself for a moment to explain to them. Once calmed I tell them of what May wanted. Adam can see the reasoning, but Jack doesn’t at first until Adam explains it better. Jack just sighs accepting what grandma wanted before going to get a beer. He came back with three in which I waved off.

“ I still have to head out to pick up supper.” I stated as Adam shook his head

“ Sorry bro but your not going any where in your state of mind. There is cold pizza still in the fridge we nuke when we get hungry. So take the beer, and relax.” Adam tells me with authority as I see Jack agree nodding

Jack hands me the beer that I accept from him. They both take a seat on either side of me. We sip on our beers for awhile in silence. I start to think of my life now as May was a big piece of it. Out of the corner of my eye I see Jack raise his beer.

“ To a woman who had a big heart of gold. To a woman who loved those around her with a smile. To a woman that could cook with a soul so pure. To May as she will be missed.” Jack says holding back his tears

“ To May.” Adam says also holding back tears

I think for a moment as I raise mine up.

“ To Grandma as I will always love her.” I state with tears falling

We clank our bottles together taking drinks from them after. The evening turned into night as Adam as well as Jack keep a eye on me. I don’t know what to think as my mind still can’t grasp the loss of some one close to me again. I keep thinking why does things always happen to me. That night sleep hardly comes to me as my dreams are filled with May in a casket. She doesn’t move or speak to me. I see my father stand by the container that holds her, but he says no words except show tears. I feel myself cry as I see her being lowered into the sand as my father fades walking away. I shake my head as to not believing she is gone. It’s at that moment a look up into the sky of my dream and scream for her.

“ GRANDMA PLEASE NEVER LEAVE ME!” I scream so loudly that next I feel my body being shook

“ Heath wake up bro it’s Adam wake up.” I hear him say as I open my eyes

“ Adam what…why are you in here?’ I ask as he sits on the edge of my bed

“ You were screaming man. I had to shake you awake.” He tells me as I remember my dream

“ Sorry I guess it was a nightmare.” I exclaim as he nods

“ I understand Heath believe me. Just try not to let her death eat you alive as you still have Jack and Me. We care about you too.” Adam tells me as I nod agreeing with him

“ I know Abs it’s just hard as she helped save me.” I tell him as he nods

“ I know so remember that and don’t go into that dark void you have in your heart.” Adam tells me with sincerity

“ I won’t , why don’t you go get some sleep. I will be alright man.” I tell him as he stands up

“ You better be as I will stomp a mudhole in your ass.” He tells me getting a chuckle

I watch as he leaves just to close my eyes knowing I will be alright, but not for awhile as him and Jack don’t know the extent of my hurt or pain as May wasn’t the first I lost.

As the days that followed went by I kept being distracted by the coming Wednesday and not believing that such a sweet, caring woman was gone. That weekend I stayed at college as to not be alone at the house that stood by the beach that I grew to love. Adam and Jack stayed with me saying they were my brothers, and brother’s don’t leave each other. I cried to those words as my own brother left me. Although with these two that stayed by my side I could tell they were true.

Wednesday finally came as I sat in the attorney’s office around 4 p.m. He sat across from be pulling out a file that I assumed was May’s. He looks to be in his 40‘s, 6‘0, 220 lbs with muscle, short brown hair with brown eyes. Mr. Goldsteen once organized looks at me before speaking.

“ Heath first I want to say how much I am sorry for the loss of May. She was a very caring woman.” He tells me as I nod before he continues “ Now May came in about two months ago to have her will changed. She made you the sole beneficiary of her estate. May left you the house, truck, and bank account with the sum of 2 million dollars.”

I sit there stunned to all that he exclaimed to me until that last part was what shocked me.

“ Wait…what..what was that last part?” I asked as he smiled shaking his head

“ She left you 2 million dollars that she invested through the years. That was a mixture of what her husband left her as well as her sons. She had it also invested all these years.” He tells me as I just look down at the table

He slides over the papers for me to sign in which I wait to sign.

“ Mr. Goldsteen you sure May doesn’t have any other relatives?” I ask getting a nod from him

“ I am sure Heath as I checked a month ago to make sure nothing would come up on you later. Look I know how this must sound to real right now, but May made it very clear that she wanted you to have all that was hers. She loved you as a grandson so please accept all that she has given you.” He states to me as I slowly nod to sign the paper’s

After I sign the papers and show my license to show who I am. He has copies made for me. Mr. Goldsteen hand’s over a folder with all the documents that are mine. He has me stay for a moment while reaching in his desk. I watched as he pulled out what looked like a dvd holder. He looked at me before handing it to me.

“ What’s this if I may ask?” I asked as he nodded

“ Mays last words to you that she had done a month ago.” He tells me as I place it on the folder before he speaks to his secretary “ Sandra can you bring that other matter I had you place in a secure place.”

“ Yes sir coming right in.” I hear her say back from the intercom

I wait as I see the office door open as Sandra carries some kind of container placing it on the desk.

“ Um what…what is that?” I ask feel tightness in my chest

“ Heath this is May’s urn. She wanted you to have it until the day that you decided to let her ashes go.” He tells me with a hint of hurt as I feel my tears start to fall

“ So she…Grandma is gone.” I say feeling my tears fall staring at the urn

“ Yes, I am afraid so honey, but she won’t be forgotten. Sorry Mr. Goldsteen for speaking.” Sandra says as he waves her off

“ It’s totally ok Sandra as we all thought of her as a friend or part of our family.” The attorney says to her

“ I just don’t understand how she could be gone. Grandma May was so full of life how does one dance just a few weeks ago to just be gone weeks later. It just makes no since to me.” I exclaim as Mr. Goldsteen has Sandra leave the office before he looks deep in my eyes “ Heath, May didn’t tell hardly anyone that she was sick. She didn’t want sympathy or people to give pity either.”

“ What do you mean sick as in bad cold or what please tell me?’ I asked in a very pleading way seeing his eyes show sadness

“ Heath she had stage 4 cancer that was incurable. She wanted to fight it as long as she could. She fought for 7 years to hold on for someone to come along that would love her. She saw that love come from you. Heath don’t think wrong of her or think bad of yourself. Remember the good days you shared with her. Keep being her grandson as she will always be your grandmother in your heart.” Erik tells me as I nod with tears

“ Thank you now I can know the truth. Is it ok if I go now so I can mourn her in my own way?” I ask as he nods

I stand up grabbing the folder and dvd in which he takes instead. He tells me to get the urn as he will follow me to my truck. I nod picking up the gold colored urn into my hands. As we walk out Sandra stops me with tears. She gives me a hug before letting me go. I thank her as continuing my way out the front door. Walking to my truck I hold the urn close to me as to keep it safe. Once to the driver door I open it only to place the urn over in the passenger seat. I turn as Mr. Goldsteen hands me my paper work. I thank him for all he has done shaking his hand. He nods telling me if I ever need anything to let him know. I tell him I will as I get in the driver seat to leave. As he walks back in I look over at the urn with tears. I buckle up then start my truck shutting the door. I look over at the urn again and with a soft voice speak.

“ Let’s go home grandma so we both can be in a place thats peaceful.” I say pulling out onto the street for home

After getting to what was now my home. I placed Grandma May’s urn on the mantle above the fireplace. Placing the folder on the coffee table my eyes fall on the locket I gave May. I pick it up only to open the heart. Staring at her picture I traced her face feeling tears once again. Why can’t I stop crying so much. I stepped back to the mantle placing the necklace around the urn. I wrap the chain around the top so the locket is in front. I leave it open so her family are shown. I make my way to the couch to relax for a few minutes. Looking around at all the pictures that Grandma May had up, and that is when I decide to keep them up to remind me she will always be remembered. Letting out a sigh I lean forward to look at the contents of the folder. I open it to see a bank card that has my name on it. I place it to the side as I see stocks and bonds. I look through them to see a familiar name two in fact. One is the old company I use to be with CHST LLC. I smirk at that one wondering how good they are doing. I wonder if all three of them are happy now that I am gone. The second is from my father’s old company. I notice it was bought 7 years ago. Smiling at that moment I know that was when my father still ran the company. I start to wonder how May could have it. That is when it hits me as to what she told me. She asked Lonny to move out east to build this house. I still smile at the stock that lays in my hands. I look at the others trying to figure out what to do with them. I decide to keep them for myself as another reminder of grandma May. I have the title’s to the house and truck. I look at it all and would trade them all in just to have May back in this life as well as the next as my dearest friend. That day I spend remembering every moment spent with the woman that took me in as her only family and grandson. Before I turn in for the night I put the dvd that was given me in the player. Turning the t.v. on I return to the couch. I watch the screen change to see May with a smile.

“ Heath sweetie if you are seeing this I am gone. I have left you everything I had in the world as I have no one left. My dear husband Lonnie left years before me. And my sons died in various conflicts from serving the country they loved. When I found you that day it was like I got a chance to be a grandmother. I think I needed you as much as you needed me. The time we spent together was wonderful and I dreaded when you left for college because I thought you would not comeback. You surprised me and cameback every weekend to help and if I called you would rush right out. I want to tell you please don’t miss me too much because at the end I died knowing that I had someone who would miss me and I pray that someone up above will watch over you. I love you sonny.” I had tears rolling down my face to what all May had exclaimed

I watched the video again just to hear her voice. I so wished at that exact moment she was here with me.That night I sleep in her bed for the second time. My eyes are red and puffy from crying. I guess that saying men don’t cry is a lie as my tears won’t stop coming. That night my dreams are conflicted between good and bad. I see my father talking to May as if they were friends. I try to talk to both only they don’t hear me. I yell still nothing as I run to them screaming for them. I stop when they both turn to see me. Both with a smile then mouth the words stay strong as we will always love you. I watch as they walk away only to fade as my knees hit the sand screaming for them to never leave me. The dream ends with me turning to look at the ocean alone with tears upon my face. I just stare in the distance watching as the sunrises in my dream to let me know another day shines upon my face.

The days after that Thanksgiving weekend come and pass. Adam and Jack are constantly watching me as to make sure I don’t do nothing dumb or out of character. As November comes and goes December comes with the cold winds and snow. My classes seem the same as I try hard to focus on what the professor teaches each day. As the following weeks pass the campus seems to brighten with decorations on the fraternity and sororities that surround. I ignore the lively students that sing carols around campus. Adam and Jack are the only ones that keep me from going crazy now as I have no one else. The Friday before Christmas Jack suggest we go walk around town for a bit. Adam agrees saying I need to get out for awhile. I look at them both and think maybe they are right. They both smile as we all grab our jackets making our way out the door around 8 p.m. I take my truck as Jack takes his car. Adam chooses to ride with me which Jack agrees. I tell Jack he can lead in which he smiles. It’s not long that we are making our way to town which isn’t all that far. We park in a mall parking lot 7 minutes later. It’s a nice mall not as big as the one back home, but it works for just walking around.

After about a hour we stop in the food court to rest. Jack goes to get us something to drink as I look across the way to see a family of four. A father, mother, daughter and little boy. They are sitting close to each other eating happily. The girl looks to be a year older the the boy. I watch intently as Adam talks to me. My own childhood sweeps into my mind as I watch the girl take a tissue to clean her little brother chin. My heart sinks as that was the exact same thing Michelle did to me around that age. As Jack gets back with drinks my eyes stare as the next thing that hits me is the little boy hugs her thanking his sister for the thought. I can’t take this hurt snapping back at me. I can’t deal with the pain that resurfaces to my core. I think of something to may help me forget all my hurt, pain and sadness. I look at my two best friends before speaking to them.

“ Hey guys I forgot something back at the dorm.” I tell them standing up

“ What did you forget man?” Jack asks as I look him in the eyes

“ My phone, I forgot my phone. I um won’t be long ok be back soon ok.” I exclaim starting to walk away

“ Ok bro but hurry your ass back man were going to watch that new movie you wanted to see so much.” I hear Jack say loudly

As I walk away waving my mind tells me not to look back. I know life brings hurt, pain, love, and togetherness, but for me I couldn’t take anymore pain or hurt. Watching that family was the last I could take. I lost May my beacon now that beacon was gone.

Once back at the dorm I locked the door. I went over to Adam’s ipod deck finding that song he played so much. Once found I placed it on repeat then have it play as I turn the volume up. Making my way to the bathroom my jacket comes off dropping to the floor. Once in the bathroom I look to see my reflection. I see a man full of conflict, fear, a feeling of loss. I shake my head as I open the medicene cabinet to see what it contains. I grab all that I can see. Once I have all I can carry I make my way back into the living room. I place the bottles on the coffee table. After I have done that I go to grab a beer to help relax me. Looking in the fridge I grab two more just in case. Back in the living room I sit on the couch. As the music plays I open the bottles dumping them on the table. Glancing at the pills in front of my eyes. They are a mixture of pain pills, sleep aides, stay awake’s, asprin, the basic pills of a college kid. I take a drink of the beer in my hand just to get my mouth wet. I listen to the lyrics that flow as I start take the pills only to drown them with beer.

Here’s my chance
This is my chance

Tell my mother,
Tell my father
I’ve done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I’m not angry, I’m just saying…
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance

After taking all the pills there was I sat there drinking the last of the beer in my hand. I felt my heart starting to race. My mind started to spin as my eyes grew heavy. I listened to the song play again.

Please don’t cry one tear for me
I’m not afraid
Of what I have to say
This is my one and only voice
So listen close,
It’s only for today

My eyes closed in that moment as I saw darkness with the last thought of my mind. I heard voices run close together. My fathers, My mothers, Michelle, Travis, my god parents, and everyone one else talking asking where was I. All I could say was maybe dad and May would meet me on that sandy shore to watch the sunrise of a better day. As my last breath left me I felt brightness within me leave.

———————————————

Maggie’s POV: That same moment

My dreams have been weird as of late as they dwell on my son Heath. He has has a sad look in his eyes that hurts my heart. But this time he is 5 years old, and running away from me. I try to catch up to him, but he runs faster and faster away. I start into a dead sprint to catch him only to see him fade away as I stumble falling on something. I get up to see what it is under me. As I look my eyes grow wide as it’s a gravestone. The name upon it can’t be right it just can’t. ‘ Heath Thompson’ is the name across it. The dates are blurred as my tears run down upon my face. I look at it weeping not believing this is happening. I look up to see Greg walking towards me.

“ Hey Mags you ok darlin?” Greg asks me looking as he did when alive

“ Greg what is this some sick joke right? Heath is alive right?” I ask him seeing some sadness in his eyes

“ Mags what would you do if I told you Heath was dead?” He asked me making my eyes widen

“ He can’t be how, why, when?” I ask on my knees looking up at him

“ That I can’t answer as time to me is different than it is for you. The little boy we raised is gone as he lost his family, he has been betrayed twice and now is lost. He is someone that I hoped he would never become. He walks in the shadows because that is the easiest place to hide from the truth.” The love of my life tells me as I cry

“ What do you mean he lost his family? He said he wanted to go to college outta state, and who has betrayed him, where is he? Tell me so i can show him the path.” I ask pleading to him

“Sorry Magster, but I can’t answer that one not just yet. Know that i loved you and our kids but right now i am disappointed with all 3 of you.” Greg tells me as he walks away only to be joined by a 5 year old version of my son

I watch as they both fade away into the distance. I have tears as I look up at the sky only to hear a loud break. It’s at that moment I open my eyes to hear a break that gets me out of bed. I make my way to the kitchen. I look around to only see my cup on the kitchen table. I make my way over to see it’s cracked. The crack is through Heath’s face not Michelle’s or Travis’s. I sit in my chair with tears as I stare at the picture of my son. It’s at that moment I hear Michelle and Travis come in. It’s at that moment their wrist bands that they wear snap in two and fall on the floor. The bands have been around their wrist for I don’t know how long. I watch as they pick up the two halves each.

“ Well isn’t that a bitch oh well they were old anyway.” Michelle says taking her to the trash can

I watch Travis do the same then leave after grabbing something to drink. After they leave the kitchen I get up to dig the wrist band’s out to see they were the exact same ones Heath got for them at age 12. I look at my cup then back at the broke bands going to my knees with tears falling. I cry while holding my the bands to my chest.

“ Oh god no he can’t be gone. Please let that just be a dream.” I say softly letting my tears flow

=====================================================================================

Ellie’s POV: Minutes later

I find my dreams mostly of the lake house that Greg use to take all of us to when he was alive. I always walk upon the sand not far feeling the sun upon my face. As I walk to the brook not far I hear a old familiar voice.

“ Hey Ellie May! you look good.” I hear Greg say without turning

“ Greg u call me that once more and I’ll…….” I say turning around to see not the strong man I once knew except I see him with a weak looking body as I continue “ What is wrong with you Greg?”

“ It’s Heath I am using what strength I have to watch over my son.” He tells me as my eyes grow with concern

“ Where is he? Where is my god son Greg?” I ask running to him to only hold him in my arms before I continue “ Please Gregie Boy tell me as I want my other son back. He is going to be a father and needs to be home with us his family.”

“ He isn’t well , I can’t tell you where he is, but know this as much as you need him. My son needs you all more. I have to go Ellie May, but tell Mike he will bring the reunion, and tell him Heath is like his father and God father…….too damn businees savvy for his own good.” Greg tells me as I have tears in my eyes

It’s at that moment I wake up only to hear a crash. I sit up to see my husband get out of bed leaving the room. It’s not long he comes back with one of the pictures that once hung on the hallway wall.

“ Ellie it’s just some of the pictures, but it’s the weirdest thing.” He says as i cut him off

“ It’s the one’s with Heath in them aren’t they?” I ask just to see his eyes grow wide

“ Yes they are how did…you know?” Mike asks as I get over to him on my knees

“ I had a weird dream that is how I knew.” I tell him as he sits to hear my dream

———————————————————————————————————————————–

Tiffany’s POV:

I am dreaming of a sandy beach by a beautiful ocean, but the ocean is unfamiliar to me. As I look around I see Chris and Selena not far talking to the man we called our uncle many years ago. I run over to give him a hug, but he backs away from me. I look to see his eyes show pain and sadness.

“ Uncle Greg what’s wrong? What have I done to not get a hug?” I ask as he looks intently in my eyes

“ Tiffany you know what you did as it grows in your belly.” He tells me as i look over at Chris and Selena

“ Uncle Greg I am sorry for what I did, but I was lonely.” I say as he shakes his head

“ Lonely you say well how lonely do you think my son feels. The hurt he carries, the pain he holds deep in his veins. Tiffany he loved you, but your love for him died the day you spread your legs for a man that was like a brother to Heath.” Uncle Greg says as the scene shifts to that night years before

“ What the hell is this?” I hear Chris ask as Selena and I gasp

“ This is what my son saw to make his heart burn with anger and sadness. This is the betrayal that each of you were apart of.” Uncle Greg tells us with some anger

“ Uncle Greg please don’t do this. We know we goofed up at that moment. If I could go back to that moment I would never of done it.” I tell him with tears going to my knees

“ She’s right Uncle Greg as I would of had Heath cum in me just to have his baby for my stupidity, but I can’t go back to that moment. All I can do is hope he can be the brother I knew one day and accept my apologies.” Selena says as our Uncle looks at her

“ Please tell us where he is so we can go to him. I carry his baby which needs it’s father.” I tell him pleading with tears

“ I can’t tell you where he is as he is not the Heath either of you knew, but I will say your paths will meet again in the coming years. Tiffany if you love my son then now is the time to show it. Love that baby as Heath would. Tell her about Heath so she will be able to know him. As it will take her love to make him more alive.” Uncle Greg says turning to walk away

I turn to see Chris and Selena fade into nothing. I glance around to see my uncle has left me also. I cry holding my belly only to be awken by a crash. Once awake I run out of my room to see Chris and Selena standing over a picture. The glass in it only broke across Heath’s face.

“ You don’t think he is.” Chris says asking us

“ Don’t you even think that Chris. Heath is alright I know he is.” Selena says as I pick the picture off the floor

“ Watch out Tiffany the glass.” Chris says as I remove the glass to hold the picture

“ Heath is more then ok isn’t he. Uncle Greg wasn’t telling us he was you know dead was he?” I ask as there eyes went wide

“ You had the same dream?” Selena asks as I nod

We stood there for some time as I held the picture to my chest. I kept praying in my mind that the man I loved was safe from harm, and hoped he still had love for me.

=============================================================================

Jasmine’s POV:

I have had some of the hottest dreams as of late. They consisted of Heath and I on a bed on a beach. We would make love the whole time, but this dream was weird as I was alone. I looked around calling for Heath, but there was no sign of him. I walked down the sandy shore only to be surprised by a man that I had never seen.

“ Hey Miss do you love Heath?” He asked me with a serious look

“ Yes as he is my first love. Why what is wrong?” I ask with concern to the man

“ You need to find him and save him. Can I ask you to do that for me?” He asks with a smile upon his lips

“ Yes I will as I will do anything just to hold him in my arms. Please tell me where can I find my love sir.” I ask pleading to the man

“ He has a great business sense as you know.” He tells me as i am confused

“ What the fuck does that have to do with Heath. Please tell me where he is as I love him. I will go where ever he is.” I say feeling annoyed at him

“ He was always good at business, but lives far away where it’s cold as his heart. He doesn’t care about the cold anymore.” He tells me turning as he fades away

For some reason I wake up only to think of the dream. The words Business, Faraway, and Cold come to the top of all the made stated sternly. I reach for my laptop that is on my bed to look up colleges in business. After 10 minutes the only school that shows promise is in Virginia. I try 5 more times and it’s just the same. That is when I decide to switch to that college in the fall as to not loose my scholarship. Before I go back to sleep I let out a sigh with a soft voice to only say.

“ Please Heath be there for I so want to be in your life, and you in mine as I love you so very much.” I say as my eyes close again hoping to dream of Heath

===================================——————————-==============

I don’t know how long I am out as my eyes open to see light above me. I blink a few times to look around. I see two familiar faces looking at me with very sad, but yet angry expressions.

“ WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING YOU ASSHOLE!” Jack yells as Adam holds him back

“ What did I..” I don’t get to finish as I feel a slap across my face

“ YOU FUCKING DIED MAN. YOU DIED IN FRONT OF US. WE JUST GOT TO YOU IN TIME!” Adam says after slapping me

“ Yeah man hell what were you thinking of pulling that crap. Don’t you know we care about you like brothers. Heath we all go through hard times, but you have Adam and I. We are your family.” Jack tells me as i start feeling tears

“ I’m sorry alright what do you axpect for me to say.” I exclaim with a dry mouth

“ By telling us what caused you to try suicide and not talk to us in the first place.” Adam says as Jack nod with arms crossed

I lay there knowing their right. They have been here for me the past month since May died. I needed to tell them the truth. So I start telling them of my father that died, to how I went to private school, then the summers after that. Once I tell them of my family leaving me and my mother remarried before that they shake their heads. I tell them of the night before my High school graduation as they both show anger.

“ Those bitches talk about cruel and unfeeling.” Jack says as Adam agrees with a nod before continuing “ Well Bro that’s not going to happen again. You have us to watch your back, and keep the assholes away.”

“ And besides we need you just as much Heath. We care and love you bro.” Adam tells me as Jack nods agreeing

“ I am so sorry guys. Please forgive me.” I says stating as they look at me intently

“ We forgive you, but if you ever I mean ever try that shit again I will bring you back only to kill you myself. You hear me Heath?” Jack asks with a stern voice only to get a nod

“ Ok then now to something just as serious.” Adam says as I see Jack stepping away

“ You tell him as I can’t hear that again. Text me when your done Adam ok.” Jack says walking out

“ Um ok I take whatever it is I am not going to like.” I say as Adam shakes his head

“ No your not bro, but we will help to make sure the worst doesn’t happen ok.” Adam says as I see a tear

“ Ok as to your face it’s bad. Just tell me Abs don’t keep me in the dark.” I say as he takes my right hand

“ Heath you have a condition that it’s hard to say.” Adam says as I see his tears start to show more

“ What is it man I can’t have kids? What is it?” I ask as he shakes his head

“ Heath it’s.” He tries to say before breaking down leaving me in the dark

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