‘Why would she invite me?’

We were at my apartment, sitting around the kitchen table sipping coffee. Jane had dropped in with a dinner invitation from her friend Marie.

‘I don’t know. Maybe she wants to fuck you.’

‘That’s not funny. She’s six feet ten. She’s a fucking freak show. Besides, she’s your friend. I couldn’t.’

‘Why not? This has nothing to do with us. We split up, remember? You said our lifestyles were incompatible.’

We separated a week ago, after going steady for six months. The truth is I had been unable to handle my jealousy. Jane would never give up anything for a man. She never had time for me. Why, she pent more time with her endless string of friends, admirers and ex-lovers than she did with me. I never knew where she was and who she was with, and she chastised me for asking. I couldn’t take the strain.

‘Yeah, but still. You know.’

‘Oh don’t be a hypocrite. You have always had the hots for her. You told me so yourself.’

‘I did not.’

‘Did so.’

‘Did not.’

‘Halloween night when we all went to that kinky party in Dominick’s house, remember? You were practically dragging her up the stairs.’

‘I was not. You told her to come up with us. I wanted to be with you.’

‘No. You said you wouldn’t mind a threesome with her and me. That’s what you said.’

‘That’s not how I said it. You insisted on that we do a threesome and we had a fight on the stairs. I said that like the next guy I wouldn’t mind doing it with two women, but that I didn’t think it was appropriate for us, for our relationship. I left, if you’ll kindly remember.’

‘You chickened out, that’s all. You didn’t think your little pecker would hold it against two women. You couldn’t keep me satisfied, much less two at a time.’

The old anger and jealousy welled up in me again, reminding me of why we had split up. Jane always liked to keep me on the losing end, and I had no defense against that. I lowered my head and avoided eye contact, signaling that I did not want to get into a fight. That had always been my strategy. Ours had been – and still was – an odd relationship. I knew deep down inside she loved me, but at the same time she loathed the weakness in me and did everything she could to bring it to the surface, to accentuate her superiority over me. She needed to feel superior. In the end I guess that’s what attracted me to her. Humiliation, much as I hated it, had always been a huge turn-on for me.

‘You know, when you left us all by ourselves there on the stairs, Marie and I went up to my apartment and we fucked our brains out all night. You don’t know what you missed.’

‘You… that’s a lie. You did no such thing.’

‘Oh yes, we did. She licked my pussy until I was screaming in ecstasy, and then we both fucked the same cucumber. You would have loved it.

Between the two of us we swallowed it whole and all you would have seen was two cunts fucking each other until you heard the cucumber snap right in two by the force of our climaxing cunts…’

‘Stop it!’

She laughed. She knew exactly how to upset me. She enjoyed driving me crazy. I had no way of knowing whether what she said was true or whether she was just teasing me. It was another way for her to confirm her power over me. She controlled my mind like she controlled my heart. I wondered if I would ever be able to get over her.

‘No, you stop being such a chicken shit. Listen, we didn’t work out, so what, big deal. You need to get on with your life and I with mine, we talked about that. You said you can’t be alone for long, so here’s your chance to get back into the market.’

‘Yes, but not with her.’

‘What’s wrong with her?’

‘Everything. She’s weird. She’s scary.’

Jane laughed again. She had such a nice laugh, like crystal bells chiming. I thought for a moment she knew exactly what I was referring to.

‘What are you talking about?’

‘The way she acts. The way she treats men.’

Jane crossed her arms over her chest and stared me down. Marie was her best friend and she didn’t like to hear anything negative about her. But I was too upset to hold back.

‘She acts like she is a goddess or something and she treats men like shit. Remember that night when we had dinner at her house and Al was there? Poor Al. She was chiding him about some woman he had presumably stood her up for, right there in front of us. It was humiliating, how she dragged him through the mud. And then when I interceded on his behalf, she took it out on me, that I was covering for him because he always covered for me, that men were all the same and that I wasn’t any better. She had no right to say that. It was offensive.’

‘So what? I say things like that to you all the time.’

‘That’s different. We’re friends. Anyway, the point is that she enjoys humiliating men. Al says he broke up with her because… ’

I stopped. I couldn’t bring myself to pronounce the words.

‘Because of what?’

‘Nothing.’

‘What do you mean, nothing? You started the sentence, now finish it.’

‘He told me in confidence.’

‘Don’t give me that shit. We agreed that you would have no secrets for me.’

‘That was when we were lovers.’

Jane moved to get up and slap me in the face, like she had often done during our short but passionate relationship when something I said or did disgusted her, but then she thought better of it.

‘We’re friends now. You insisted on that. I don’t see how that changes the rules.’

I wished I had bitten my tongue. Why was it that I had no resistance against this woman? Our relationship had, at her insistence and my acceptance, been almost exclusively about her needs and me satisfying them. Although this arrangement had its appeal to me in sexual terms, I had not been very good at controlling my pride and jealousy in the emotional realm. Still, the urge to oblige her remained latent.

‘Well, he told me that she likes to… do things.’

‘Things like what?’

‘Things. Just things. Weird things.’

‘You talking about sex?’

Jane’s eyes lit up. Sex had always been her favourite topic.

‘I’m not sure you can call it sex. It’s just… well, he told me she would…’

‘What? Don’t keep me waiting like that. Spill it.’

‘Urinate. She would urinate on him.’

‘Urinate? Like in pee?’

‘Yes. Pee, piss, urinate, it’s all the same.’

‘On him?’

‘That’s what he said. Every time she needed to go, she would take him into the bathroom and he had to kneel before her and she would piss into his mouth. If he spilled a drop, she’d make him lick it up and spank him afterwards.’

I watched Jane. She was on the tip of her seat, breathing heavily, hanging on to every word I said. A thought came to mind.

‘You didn’t know that? How can you be best friends with her and not know?’

‘Oh, she told me. I just never believed her. It’s so… outrageous. I mean, I’m all for… what do they call it? I saw something on the internet the other day, female domination or something. Women submitting men for their personal use, tying them up and stuff and make them do household chores and spank them if they disobey. I just didn’t think a woman could go so far as to actually use a man as a toilet. Or that a man would go for that.’

‘Well, Al didn’t. He did for a while, to please her, but then she started to do other things.’

I had her full attention. Gone was my reluctance to talk about the subject. I was enjoying the moment. Never before, not even at the height of our relationship, had I had her undivided attention for more than a few minutes at a time.

‘What other things?’

‘Well, you know, peeing is not the only thing you do on a toilet.’

‘Don’t hold out on me. Say it.’

‘Well, she started with making him lick her ass after going number two.’

‘You mean she would shit and then make him clean her ass?’

‘Exactly. She would have him sit next to the toilet bowl while she shat, he would sit there listening to her farts and the turds plunking into the bowl one after the other and he would choke on the stench, and then she would get up and stick her behind into his face. Al had tears in his eyes when he told me, because of how she did it and what she said to make him do it the first time.’

‘What did she say?’

‘He told me she said he was a failure as a man and that the only thing he was good for was wiping her ass. He said she spread her buttocks and when he didn’t do it right away, she pushed his head against the wall with her ass and smeared his face with shit and yelled at him that he’d better start licking or she would strip him naked and kick him out into the street.’

‘And did he do it?’

‘Yes, but he vomited and she made him lick up his vomit and then she threw him out without a chance to wash his face.’

‘And that’s when they broke up?’

‘No. He was mad at first but he came back the other day to kiss and make up, and she made him eat a full load of her shit before taking him back.’

‘You mean she shat right into his mouth?’

‘No. That came later. He said she squatted over a plate and curled a heap of shit onto it, then she put the plate before him and handed him a knife and fork, saying that was her make-up dinner for him and that if he really wanted to be with her he better be prepared to take her shit no matter what.’

‘Amazing. And did he do it? Did he eat it?’

‘Yes. He told me he loved her and if that was what she wanted, then he was prepared to do it.’

‘But then why did he leave her anyway?’

‘Because she wouldn’t stop at that. It only got worse. Like, she would call him home from work whenever she had to take a crap. Or she would make him lick her clean when she had her period. But what really did it for him was that she would start doing things in public. Humiliating things, like once she made him kiss her feet in a restaurant, in front of all the people. She said she would throw a tantrum and ridicule him in front of everybody if he didn’t do it. One day when they were at the beach, he said she came out of the water and squatted over his face and pissed through her bathing suit right into his mouth, and there were people close enough to see it. Later when they were strolling along the promenade he ordered a hot dog, she took it from him and disappeared into one of the public toilets they have there, and when she came back the sausage was gone and there was a steaming turd in its place. He had to eat it while they walked and the people turned around to see where the shit smell was coming from.’

Jane suddenly jumped from her seat and grabbed my arm, pulling me to the floor. I landed on my back with a painful thud that knocked the air out of my lungs. Before I could recover, she was squatting down on me and I had her crotch in my face. She was wearing a pair of tight jeans, and the hard fabric and the zipper scratched my nose and lips as she rashly and violently humped my face. My head kept bumping against the floor while she rode herself to a screaming climax in less than a minute.

‘I’m sorry. It was stronger than me. Habit, I guess. I sometimes forget we aren’t together anymore.’

She straightened her jeans before she sat down on her chair again. There was a dark wet patch on her crotch. I slowly got up and sat down at the other side of the table. I was numb and speechless and didn’t know what to think of her sudden spell of hotpants. Had it been triggered by my account of Al’s ordeal? After a while and a cigarette, Jane turned to me.

‘Would you go for something like that?’

‘Go for what?’

‘What you just told me.’

‘No way. The woman is deranged. Humiliating him in public, for crying out loud.’

‘Forget the public thing. Just the pissing and shitting. Would you do that?’

‘It’s gross.’

‘But you’d do it?’

What was she driving at?

‘Of course not.’

Jane stood up and came around the table. I recoiled involuntarily, thinking she was going to jump me again.

‘Peter, I want you to go to that dinner.’

‘No I won’t.’

‘You will. I’m not asking you, I’m telling you to. I want you to go and then you come straight to me and tell me everything that happened.’

‘You’re crazy. What am I, a guinea pig for your curiousity?’

‘Peter…’

‘But… ‘

She raised her eyebrows. That was the no-protest sign.

‘Please don’t make me do this. She’s going to kill me.’

‘No she won’t. I don’t know what she’ll do, but I’m sure it won’t kill you.’

‘You can’t make me do this.’

‘Yes I can, and you know I can.’

She was right. It wasn’t a threat. I had never been able to refuse her anything. Even after all the suffering and the break-up, I still had a weak spot for her.

‘You will go and you will do everything she tells you to do. Remember she’s my best friend and whatever you do for her, you do for me. And I know you still want to do good by me. You need me like the air you breathe.’

True again. In the short time we had been together, she had become more a part of me than I thought possible. The world just wasn’t the same without her around. It wasn’t love and it wasn’t sex. It was some sort of addiction. I was a junkie to the power and the strength of will that exuded from her skin, oozed from her attitude, radiated from her being.

It was seven sharp when I knocked on Marie’s front door with a shaky hand. She lived in a renovated burger’s house out at the canal, which she owned. It was in brick, painted white and with small windows and a red wooden door. It was dark already and bitter cold.

Marie answered the door after the second knock.

‘You came. That is great. Come in, you must be freezing.’

You may have wondered whether I was exaggerating when I said she was six foot ten. I wasn’t. I was five eight myself and she was still a head taller. She placed a hand on my shoulder and bowed down gracefully to allow me to peck her on the check. She smelled of lavender and tobacco.

‘Take your coat off. You know where to put it. Would you like a beer while I finish up in the kitchen?’

‘Yes, thank you, beer is fine. No glass.’

She disappeared into the kitchen and came back with two frosty Carlsbergs. It was too cold for beer, but I needed something to calm my nerves.

‘There’s an opener in that drawer over there. Pop mine while you’re at it, will you?’

She was off into the kitchen again. I opened both bottles and joined her. Several pots and pans were boiling and frizzling on the stove.

‘You’re a darling. Cheers.’

We clashed bottles and took a sip. She put hers down on the counter and stirred the pots and pans. She was wearing a white see-through blouse, no bra and a long flowered skirt that covered her ankles. She had small flat breasts with broad dark nipples that were clearly outlined behind the thin fabric of her blouse. She caught me staring at her and smiled.

‘I had to take off my jacket, it’s just too hot in here.’

She had a large mouth with sensuous lips which hardly covered her over-large white teeth. Her hair was blond and slick and she had it done up in a knot, teacher style. Her eyes were large and blue. She never wore make-up of any kind, not even lipstick. A pair of large emerald earrings dangled from her ear lobes, stretching them. She was not unpleasant to look at, except for the teeth which sort of spoiled the picture, especially when she smiled. She wasn’t shy about it though and I liked her for that.

‘Jane says you make a mean vinaigrette. The salad bowl is in the fridge and there’s vinegar and olive oil in that cupboard over there. What else do you need?’

‘Uhm, Dijon mustard, salt, pepper, some onion. A chef’s whisker.’

‘Onion and mustard, fridge. I have the salt and pepper right here. Sorry, no whisker.’

I got to work on the vinaigrette, which is real easy if you have a good whisker. I couldn’t quite get the same blend with a fork. The salad had rings of yellow pepper, slices of cucumber (that cucumber?) in the skin, baby tomatoes, slices of Chinese radish, cashews and lots of lettuce. I mixed in the vinaigrette and took the bowl to the table, which was already set elegantly for two, with a vase of red roses and a bowl of water with floating candles.

‘You put a lot of work into this. You shouldn’t have gone through all this trouble.’

‘You like it? Don’t worry, I’m sure you’re worth it.’

She cackled with laughter. I hoped I was wrong about what I thought she meant by it.

‘Be a darling and bring over the rest of the food while I go freshen up a bit. I won’t be a minute.’

She took another swig of her beer and went upstairs. When she came back, I held her chair for her to be seated before I sat down myself. My hands shook while I served her soup. As a host it was she who should be serving, but I had always served Jane and had gotten accustomed to it.

‘I hope it’s not me making you nervous?’

It was a kind remark and she was smiling, but her words made me jump all the same and I spilled some soup on the table cloth.

‘I-I’m sorry. No, not at all. I’m still a bit cold, that’s all.’

‘Oh, you should have told me. Wait, I’ll turn up the heat some more. These old houses don’t keep the heat in very well.’

She got up to turn up the thermostat and sat back down.

‘I… I hope you don’t mind me asking, but what’s the occasion?’

‘For this dinner? No occasion. Since when do friends need an occasion to get together?’

We weren’t friends. I had met her before I knew Jane, because we seemed to frequent the same cafés, but she had always ignored me until I
hooked up with Jane, who was her friend. She must have sensed that I didn’t quite believe her, because she promptly corrected herself.

‘All right, yes, there is an occasion. Jane told me all about your break-up, and I thought you might need some cheering up. That’s all.’

Her second reply convinced me even less, but I hadn’t been honest about my own nervousness. A great start for a dinner party.

‘That’s very kind of you.’

‘Don’t mention it. I’m not so worried about Jane, because… well, you know her. It’s not that it doesn’t affect her. She’s just very much her own person. Independent, you know, and strong. I’ve never seen such a strong woman.’

‘Yes, that she is.’

‘How did you take it?’

‘I’m OK. I don’t really want to talk about it. I’m realistic about it. We just didn’t work out.’

‘Do you love her?’

‘I don’t know. She has that effect on people, you know, she takes you in. I guess I just couldn’t handle her, on that level. We’re better as friends.’

‘I know you’re hurting inside, even if you don’t show it. That’s what I like about you, you’re so sensitive and yet so balanced. Jane was lucky to have you and a fool to dump you.’

‘She didn’t dump me.’

‘I know, I know. But she did, in a way. She never committed to you the way you committed to her, although she knew very well that you wouldn’t stand for it very long. She is like that. Free like a bird. Whoever wants her will have to live with that.’

‘But how can you build a meaningful relationship without commitment?’

‘It has nothing to do with commitment. That’s where you were wrong. Look where it brought you. You think her lack of commitment is what broke up the relationship. It isn’t. It’s your pride and your feelings of propriety.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘You think because you love someone, you own her. And you’re hurt and disappointed if she doesn’t love you back the same way.’

‘Well, she didn’t. She never loved me.’

‘Of course she did. She still does.’

‘Not the way I loved her. Love her.’

‘What makes you think that your way of loving is the only right way to love?’

‘Is that why you invited me to dinner? To make me reconsider? Did Jane tell you to invite me?’

She cackled again. Not at all like Jane. How beautifully Jane laughed. I wanted to leave. I had never really liked Marie and I liked her even less now. My heart was paining for Jane.

‘Now don’t get rude with me. No, not to make you reconsider, and Jane has nothing to do with this. I don’t know why you two got together in the first place. You’re not her type. You cling like a leech. She needs someone who has a life of his own, someone she can call when she needs him but doesn’t infringe on her freedom.’

I had come to that same conclusion myself – although in more favorable terms – but it still hurt to hear it from someone else. I felt like crying. She laughed when she saw my face change. So far for empathy.

‘Oh my, you’re so cute when you’re sad. But you needn’t despair. There’s a good thing coming out of all this.’

‘What is that?’

‘You may not be Jane’s type, but you’re definitely mine.’

‘W-what do you mean?’

I had a feeling where this was going.

‘Did you not like the soup? You’ve hardly touched your plate.’

‘No, I mean yes, it’s very good. It’s just that lentil soup gives me gas.’

‘Doesn’t it? And I’ve had two helpings, imagine.’

She shifted her weight to one side and ripped a loud fart. She was not only blunt, but also unapologetic about it.

‘Aah, that felt divine. Farting is healthy, you know. That’s what my doctor told me.’

She breathed in deeply and noisily.

‘Hmm, smell that aroma. Nature at its best.’

The smell floated slowly over to my side of the table, and it was horrific.

‘Come on, don’t be shy, breathe it in. Isn’t it gorgeous?’

Nothing gorgeous about it, but I smiled sheepishly to please her.

‘Here, give me your plate. Why don’t you serve the main course while I take these to the kitchen? Would you like another beer?’

‘Uhm, yes, please.’

I filled her plate with the mashed potatoes and goulash she had prepared, then mine. I was serving the salad in the side plates when she returned with two new beers which she had already opened. She placed hers next to her plate and came around the table to hand me mine. She stood very close to me, too close for comfort. Her pubis, which bulged beneath her skirt, was hovering above my shoulder. She looked down at me smiling while I took the bottle, then paused as if considering what to do next. I held my breath. Was this her move?

She turned around and I let the air out of my lungs in relief, but then she placed her hand on the top of my hand and pulled my face into her ass. My nose dove into the thin fabric and slid without any resistance into her ass crack. She held me there for no more than a few seconds, but it seemed like hours to me.

‘Hold on, I’ve got another one coming.’

I felt her body strain. So close to the source, her fart sounded like thunder overhead. The smell invaded my lungs without delay. I jumped back and fell off the chair.

‘What did you do that for?’

‘Oh, I’m sorry. You seemed to enjoy the first one, so I thought you might want some more.’

I scrambled to my feet.

‘Y-you can’t d-do that.’

‘Why not?’

‘It… it just isn’t done. People don’t go around farting into other people’s faces.’

‘I don’t see why not. Some people enjoy it.’

‘It’s gross. And it’s… humiliating.’

‘OK, I said I’m sorry. Sit down.’

‘I’m not sure I want to.’

‘You’re being rude.’

‘I’m being rude? You were rude to fart in my face.’

‘I thought you wanted me to. You said you liked the smell of my fart.’

‘I did not.’

‘OK, but you didn’t say you didn’t. And you smiled in approval.’

‘I was just being polite.’

‘You’re a hypocrite, then.’

The discussion was leading nowhere. I decided it was best to leave. Fuck Marie and her dinner, fuck Jane too. I didn’t have to stand for this.

‘Where are you going?’

‘I don’t know. Home, I guess.’

‘You’re being ungrateful. I spent half a day shopping for your fucking dinner and half a day cooking it. You can’t just walk out on me.’

Suddenly, she sat down on my chair and broke out in tears. I would have expected anything from this woman, including the face farting, but not this. I was at a loss.

‘I-I’m sorry if I upset you. I didn’t mean to.’

She kept on snickering. I didn’t know if I should hug her or just leave. I walked up to her and patted her back clumsily.

‘There there. Don’t cry. Please.’

‘Y-you d-don’t like me, d-do you?’

‘I do. I really do.’

‘No you don’t. I saw it in your face.’

‘That… I was just… it took me by surprise, that’s all.’

‘I-if you r-really liked me y-you w-would have let me f-fart on you a-and you w-would have liked it.’

‘But I did like it.’

I was a sucker for tears and I knew it. I couldn’t see a woman crying and not go weak in the knees.

‘No you didn’t. You pushed me.’

I never pushed her. I jumped. But this wasn’t the time to argue.

‘I was confused. Nothing like this has ever happened to me. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t like it.’

‘Y-you did? You liked it?’

She stopped snickering and looked at me with tear-filled eyes. I saw the little girl she had once been and somehow still was.

‘Yes, I liked it.’

‘W-would you like to smell some more? Will you let me fart on you and you won’t push me away again?’

I didn’t even hesitate. I was too busy saving the damsel in distress.

‘Yes, of course. I’d love to.’

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and stood up. I sat down and diligently leaned forward, feigning eagerness. She grabbed my head as before and pulled me into her ass with a force that I didn’t expect. My nose was crushed painfully against her left ass cheek before she shifted her ass to accommodate me in her smelly cleft. It was then that I fully realized what I had let myself in to.

I didn’t have to wait long. A slow prattling fart escaped from her ass and shot up my nostrils in a warm wave of squalor. My head was pulled
back and she looked down at me over her shoulder. Gone was the little girl. There was a mischievous smirk on her lips and her eyes were glistening. I wondered about her emotional outburst. Had she just thrown a tantrum to keep me from leaving and to have her way with me? I couldn’t be sure, so I smiled and rolled my eyes in a clumsy attempt to assure her I was enjoying it.

‘More?’

I nodded.

‘Ask me.’

Now this seemed to be going a bit too far. It was one thing to oblige her in an attempt to soothe her, another thing entirely to be begging for it.

She grabbed my hair and jerked my head violently.

‘Ask me! That’s the least you can do after being so rude to me.’

The sharp pain drove tears to my eyes.

‘C-could you… could I have some more?’

She snapped my head back.

‘Ask me nicely!’

‘C-could I p-please have some more?’

‘Some more what?’

‘Could… could you please fart some more?’

‘Why?’

At least she wasn’t farting. But my scalp was hurting so bad I almost wished she was.

‘Because… because I like it.’

‘You like what?’

‘Your farts. I like the smell of your farts.’

‘Are you a dirty fart sniffer?’

‘Yes. I’m a dirty fart sniffer. I like farts. I like your farts.’

She finally loosened her grip on my hair and pulled my face back into position. Three more farts were blown into my nose and mouth and she moaned loudly after each, either from the effort it took to push them out or because of the pleasure it was causing her. Then she let go of me and returned to her seat. I slumped down. My mind was numb.

‘Go on. Eat your dinner. You’re letting everything go cold.’

We finished dinner with her chit-chatting about unimportant people and unimportant events and myself nodding and feigning fascination. I wasn’t really listening. I knew I was done for. This was going to be a long night. What had transpired so far had been but the beginning. She had tested me and now she had me in the bag. She knew it, too, and she knew that I knew that there was nothing I could do about it. There was no mistaking the triumphant look on her face and the exuberant euphoria in her voice.

She wiped her mouth and slapped her napkin on the table, then sat back and burped, holding her stomach which seemed to have grown twice its size.

‘That was good. I’m so full, I feel I’m going to burst. How was it for you?’

‘It was very good. Thank you.’

‘How about dessert?’

‘Oh no, I don’t think I could. I’m absolutely full.’

‘Nonsense. You haven’t even asked what’s for dessert.’

Something in the tone of her voice made me suspicious. I was trembling again.

‘W-what’s for d-dessert?’

She stood up and came to my side.

‘I have some delicious pie.’

Marie pushed the table aside and planted herself before me. She lifted her right leg and rested her foot on the chair beside me. The hem of her skirt slid over my shaking knees. Her crotch was inches from my face. She looked down at me. From the look on her face, I knew I was expected to say something.

‘W-what kind of p-pie?’

She beamed. Her hands came down and slowly crumpled the skirt upwards. Her long thin white legs came into view. She had ugly knobby knees and her skin was a very pale white. The skirt continued its upward journey. I saw a bush of long curly blond hair appear beneath it. She wasn’t wearing any underwear. No wonder I had slid in so easily.

‘Hair pie!’

She laughed, or rather she cackled like a hen about to lay an egg. I stared at her naked cunt. It was very hairy, the coarse blond hairs standing out in thick tufts. Beneath her bush I could just make out a pair of thin pale outer cuntlips sagging down, tightly closed at the top and slightly separated at the bottom.

‘Come in, dig in. Don’t you like my pie?’

Her hands came down between her legs and spread her cunt. A pair of thin rosy cunt lips unfurled and slowly sagged downwards. She thrust her pelvis forward, burying my nose inside her cunt. She was hot and wet on my face.

‘Sniff it. Tell me how it smells.’

I sniffed noisily. She had that muffy fishy cunt smell that women produce when they don’t wash very often down there, with a whiff of stale piss and a lingering foulness from her farts. Although it was not a pleasant smell, I felt my dick stir inside my pants. Or was it because of her bold move of sticking her cunt in my face? Boldness in women, especially if sexual, had always been a huge turn-on with me.

‘Well, do you like it?’

I nodded, which made my nose slide up and down the crease formed by her cuntlips, which embraced and adjusted to the contour of my moving face.

‘Tell me. I want to hear it.’

‘It smells gorgeous.’

‘Does it turn you on?’

‘Yes, it does.’

‘Show me.’

I looked up at her without withdrawing from her cunt. I could see her eyes just beyond the bushy hill of her pubis. She pulled back and stared at my crotch, waiting. Only fair for me to show my dick, if she had so generously flashed her cunt for me. I unzipped my pants and released my pulsating cock from its confinement. It bobbed up and down between my legs. High above me, she was grinning.

‘Good for you. Now open your mouth, let’s find out what else turns you on.’

I immediately knew what was coming, and I rather would not have known. Acceding to her request would mean I had to go all the way. But I knew I could not refuse, that had been established during the farting session, and she knew it too. I opened my mouth.

Her cunt was immediately upon me again. With her fingers she stuffed her cuntlips between my lips and then grabbed my head to hold it in place.

‘You know what’s coming, don’t you? I can see it in your face. Did Al tell you?’

I nodded without looking up.

‘And you still came. Must have really turned you on when he told you, didn’t it?’

I shook my head.

‘You don’t fool me. You men are all dirty pigs.’

I wanted to protest, but decided not to. She was right. Even if on the surface I was disgusted by the whole concept, I could not deny that somewhere deep inside I was fascinated and aroused by the idea of being used as a toilet. I didn’t know why, but it was an undeniable fact. My bursting cock, jumping up and down between my legs and harder than ever, proved it.

‘OK, rule number one: you look at me while I piss in your mouth. It’s a matter of respect, and I need to see you’re enjoying it.’

I looked up at her.

‘Rule number two: you don’t spill a drop. My piss is far too valuable to be wasted.’

I nodded.

‘Rule number three: you beg for my piss. I must know you desire it. I’ll not go through all the trouble of feeding you my piss if I’m not convinced you really crave it.’

It wasn’t easy to articulate with her cuntlips stuffed into my mouth, but I somehow managed.

‘Please, Marie, let me drink your piss.’

‘How bad do you want it?’

‘I’ll do anything if you piss into my mouth.’

‘Anything?’

‘Yes.’

‘OK, I’ll hold you to that. You can start by grunting like the pig you are.’

I grunted like a pig, not very well.

‘You’ll have to do better than that.’

I gave it another shot.

‘Are you a pig?’

‘Yes, I am.’

‘A piss pig?’

‘Yes, I’m a piss pig.’

‘Are you my piss pig?’

‘Yes, yours and yours alone.’

‘Good. Hold on, here comes the prize you’ve earned.’

The bottom of her ass hardened against my chin and her legs trembled as she pushed to pee. It took her over half a minute to produce the first
drops, which trickled through her cuntlips onto my tongue and left a salty bitter taste. She relaxed, then pushed again. This time a thin stream pushed through her cuntlips, making them flutter lightly between my lips and filling the bottom of my mouth with a warm pool of piss. The taste was strong, not unlike an overripe and badly matured wine, only saltier. I swallowed it with ease, wondering what the hell Al had been complaining about. Not that bad at all.

A tap on the head reminded me to look up at Marie. Just when I did, a thick gush of piss started to stream from her cunt, which vibrated with its force. It shot right through to the back of my throat and I had to suppress a cough reflex as part of it went down my windpipe. My mouth filled up in a fraction of a second and I had to gulp hard and fast to keep it from overflowing. A thin line of piss trickled from the corner of my mouth down my neck and chest, but I somehow managed to keep up.

The stream let down after about a minute, and the first chance I got I freed my lungs from the spent air that was trapped in it and took a deep breath while her piss kept dripping onto my tongue. She squirted twice before she withdrew.

‘Not bad. Was this a first for you?’

I nodded.

‘I almost can’t believe that.’

‘It’s true.’

‘OK, it doesn’t matter. Be a doll and wash the dishes for me, yes? You’ll excuse me, my show is starting on Channel Four.’

She stepped back, straightened out her skirt and went into the living room. I cleaned off the table and spent about an hour cleaning up the mess in the kitchen. Marie was again her haughty self. I used to have a problem with the way she ordered everyone around as if she was the Queen of Sheba. But somehow I didn’t mind any longer. It seemed natural for me to do the tings she asked of me. I felt like something had hooked me, something in me had changed and I could no longer call up the old feeling of annoyance I had felt for her.

The Jerry Springer Show just came up when I joined Marie in the living room.

‘Can you believe that guy? He’s such a jerk.’

‘Who?’

‘This Jerry Springer. How can people be so dumb to go on that show? They must know they’re going to get screwed.’

‘Yeah, but what I like even less is that he incites them to beat each other up. He sets them up and they always go at it. It’s as if somebody encourages them to do it before they come on.’

‘Watch how the aids always wait to interfere until they’ve got a few good punches in. I wish someone would smack that Springer guy in the face once in a while.’

I laughed. I’d had the exact same thought every time I zapped into the show.

‘You ready?’

I nodded.

‘Let’s go upstairs. You’re not in a rush to go home, are you?’

It seemed I wasn’t any longer, although I was still nervous about what I knew was to follow. Even if I had warmed to the idea, I wasn’t really looking forward to getting my mouth stuffed with shit. It just could not taste very well.

‘No, that’s OK. Nobody’s expecting me.’

‘Good. Follow me.’

She turned off the TV set and I followed her up the narrow and creaky stairs to the second floor. She crossed the large hall which still had its original wooden floor and stepped through a small door at the far end. She had to bend over to get through it without bumping her head. A few steps down and a narrow corridor led to a wide room that seemed to have been a workshop at some point in time, and in a way it still was. Al had mentioned this room once, but subsequently he had turned evasive when I had pressed him for details.

The sparse light from a single naked bulb and the bare brick walls and cement floor gave the room a cold and eerie appearance. Heavy black curtains covered the windows. There were chains hanging from the walls and from the ceiling. A small wash basin in the far corner, an iron cabinet stuffed with all sorts of whips and crops and leather utensils right next to it. In the middle of the room was a padded table like the ones doctors used to examine their patients, with adjustable head and foot sections. Behind it, an apparatus that even in this unusual setting seemed totally out of place: a vaulting horse. I remembered the vaulting horse from gym class in high school, it had been a nightmare for me.
The whole setup reminded me of the torture chambers of medieval castles. I involuntarily started shaking again. When I acceded to the dinner invitation, I thought I knew what I could expect and although most of it scared me, I was also intrigued. But I wasn’t prepared for this.

Marie turned to me. It seemed as if entering the room had changed her. She wasn’t smiling, she wasn’t laughing. Her face had become expressionless and her manner was distanced and controlled.

‘Take your clothes off. You can leave them on that chair over there.’

I hesitated for a short while. I wanted to ask her what she was planning on doing to me, but the cold look on her face dissuaded me. She stood before me motionless until I did as I was told. When I was completely naked, she walked to the cabinet and rummaged in it. I looked down my body. My dick was all but wrinkled skin, hanging loosely over my scrotum which had shrunk to the size of a walnut and felt tight and compact.

When Marie came back, she was dragging a pair of chains which rattled behind her. She handed me one of the chains, holding on to the other.

‘Put these around your ankles.’

I took the chain from her hand. There were leather-padded iron cuffs on each end. I looked at her in the hope of a sign that she was just joking, but there was none. I bent down and fastened the cuffs around my ankles. She handed me two small padlocks. I looked at her with a plea in my eyes, but she remained motionless and expressionless. There was something about her, something that radiated from her stoic silence and posture that had me in a spell. I could still untie myself, grab my clothes and run away. But I didn’t. Instead, I bent over again and locked the cuffs around my ankles with the padlocks, sealing my fate.

‘Now fasten these around your wrists.’

She handed me the other chain, and I fastened them and locked them with the second pair of padlocks she gave me. The chains between my ankles and wrists were about a yard in length, leaving me some leeway for movement. I didn’t like the way they rattled when I moved. It reminded me of ‘Cool Hand Luke’, the 1967 prison movie with Paul Newman and George Kennedy. I looked at Marie for a clue of what was to come next.

‘Wait here. Do not move. Do not sit down. I will be back in a minute.’

She disappeared through a door in the back of the room and closed it behind her. I was alone and naked in the room. I wondered what I was doing here. Everything in me screamed to take off running, chained and naked as I was. Fear was tying my bowels in a knot and made my knees buckle. I looked around. The place was truly spooky. What had these walls seen and heard? Why had Al refused to tell me more about this room? What ever had transpired in here, it had to be far worse than the toilet practices he had confessed to me. A shiver ran down my spine.

Marie came back into the room some twenty minutes later. Like a clumsy monster of Frankenstein from some third-rate movie she hunched forward to step through the doorway. She had changed into a leather outfit in the form of a strapless corset which was wrapped around her body and strapped with crisscrossing straps and hooks so tightly that her breasts and the flesh of her armpits bulged under the strain. Her arms and shoulders were naked, the pale skin contrasting with the black leather. The lower part of her body was clad in a fishnet pantyhose, which had an opening in the front through with her blond bush was poking out. A pair of high heel needle point shoes were on her feet, rendering her even taller than she already was. She had undone her hair, which was now draping onto her shoulders and down her back.

‘Step over here.’

She was standing next to the vaulting horse. She signaled me to step onto a small platform that was in front of it and instructed me to spread my legs. With leather straps that were attached to the side of the platform she tied down the cuffs of my ankle chain, disabling me to lift or close my legs. Then she ordered me to lift my arms and lean forward over the horse. The chain between my wrists clattered onto the floor on the other side. She walked around the apparatus and grabbing the chain, pulled me down until I was draped over the vaulting horse with my head in a downward position. She lashed a leather strap that was attached to a hook in the floor through the chain between my wrists and pulled it tight before tying it back to the hook. As a result, I was strapped tight over the horse laterally with my ass sticking up and my lower body upside down, completely immobilized and defenseless. The whole thing had taken her less than a minute to pull off.

I could hear her rummaging through the cabinet behind me. I strained to look, but the effort of lifting and turning my head was too great. The clanging and rattling noise continued for a while, then stopped. She must have found what she was looking for. Nothing happened for a while, then her feet showed up beneath my face. I saw her knees double as she squatted and something heavy tapped the top of my head. When I lifted my head, the tip of a thick black rubber dildo slid over my face and came to rest on my lips. It was smooth and shiny and its base was attached to a broad rubber triangle which she had strapped around her waist in such a way that the phallus seemed to be protruding from her crotch.

‘Open your mouth, bitch. I need you to suck my dick before I ram it up your tight little cunt.’

She grabbed the dildo in her fist like men often do and tapped my lips with it. I opened my mouth. She pushed it in until I could feel it press against the back of my throat. I had never had anything this thick inside my mouth and I was unable to suppress a gag reflex.

‘Suck it, slut. Don’t pretend you don’t like it, I know you do.’

She grabbed the back of my head with both hands, not to pull me into her but for support while she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet, fucking my mouth with her strapon. The way she was hanging from my upturned head for balance put a lot of strain on my neck. The effort exhausted me very fast, but relaxing my aching neck muscles would send Marie falling backwards on her butt, and in my present situation this seemed not to be a recommendable course of action.

Marie seemed oblivious to my predicament, she kept fucking my mouth with a mechanically regular cadence and a determined vehemence, leaning even further backwards to achieve a better angle for deepest penetration.

Finally, she let go. Her makeshift cock slipped from my lips, dripping with saliva and mucus. Mucus was also running from my nose and my eyes were watering. I was breathing heavily. Marie got to her feet and stepped behind me. Through my legs I saw her standing before the platform.

She did not need to step onto it, as she was taller than I. I felt the dildo slide full length up and down the crack of my ass. My body stiffened involuntarily. I had never had anything stuck up my ass before.

‘OK, cocksucker, this is your moment of truth. Let’s see if you’re fuckable material. You’re no use to me if I can’t fuck you. I just love to fuck bitches like you.’

The tip of the strapon stopped right on top of my asshole and pressed lightly inward.

‘Now relax your cunt, bitch, or this will really hurt.’

I had no frame of reference to translate her words into action. I knew that by ‘cunt’ she meant my ass because that was what her ‘cock’ was pushing into and it was in line with the role reversal she had so masterly staged. But how to relax a muscle that had a mind of its own and spent ninety nine percent of its time stoically constricted? Marie seemed to understand my predicament.

‘Push out, slut, push out.’

I did as she told me. I pushed so hard I felt my anus turn inside out. Before Marie had time to stuff her rubber cock into it though, a massive fart exploded from the depths of my bowels. Marie jumped back.

‘Shit, looks like I punctured you. Man, you’re all rotten inside.’

In a way it was funny. I was glad she could be humorous about it. After having been farted in the face by Marie earlier this evening, she was now getting a cookie of her own dough in return. I knew I probably shouldn’t laugh. Maybe it was the stress of being in such an unusual situation, or maybe it was fear of what was still ahead. Whatever it was, even if I managed to keep my mouth shut, I was unable to keep my body from shaking with laughter. Then, another fart escaped from my behind.

‘Stop that.’

But I just couldn’t help it. Being tied upside down over a horse put pressure on my stomach, and the laughing didn’t exactly help to relieve that. After the next series of short trumpety farts, Marie finally caught on to what was happening and came round to the front. She pulled up my head by my hair and looked at me.

‘Are you laughing?’

‘I-I’m s-sorry. I j-just…’

She dropped my head and walked back around the vaulting horse. There was a noise from inside the cabinet, then suddenly a sharp pain exploded across my ass and shot through my body like an electric current. Four more lashes of ferocious intensity cut my ass cheeks to shreds. That took care of my fit of laughter.

‘That’s for farting. You don’t ever fart, not around me, not near me, much less on me. If any farting needs to be done, I will take care of that myself. Do you hear?’

I was still cringing with pain. Being tied up didn’t make it any easier to deal with it. I made the effort to nod, but realized too late she couldn’t see that. Another lash cut through my ass.

‘I said do you hear?’

‘Yes…’, I croaked while tears welled up in my eyes. I braced myself for more, but nothing came. Just when I relaxed, I heard the horsewhip whoosh down again. This time it did not land diagonally but vertically, right in the crack of my ass and through it onto the bottom of my balls. The pain was excruciating and I really was crying now. I lost count of how many blows I received in all, but it seemed to take no end. Every lash was harder than the previous and came accompanied by ever louder grunts from the effort she was putting into my punishment. When she stopped, she had to catch her breath before she could speak.

‘And that was for laughing.’

She came round to the front again and jerked up my head. She tapped my cheek with the tip of the horsewhip she had been flogging me with.

‘Do you still think that was funny?’

I saw her face through the haze of my tears. I shook my head, which hurt as it was hanging from my hair.

‘Is there any more of the same to come?’

I had no way of being sure, but I shook my head in fear of another beating.

‘Good.’

Without letting go of my head, she turned around, bent over and half squatted until her ass was in my face. The crotch opening of her netted pantyhose ran all the way through to the back, lining her ass crack. She didn’t seem to have much of an ass. The buttocks were thin and spread easily, exposing a rosy asshole ringed by tufts of blond curly ass hair. The next thing I knew, I was inside her ass with a long fart prattling loudly beneath my nose. I could actually feel the warm gas explode on my lips and I was breathing her foulness into my lungs.

‘Just a little reminder so you don’t forget who does the farting around here.’

My head was dropped again and Marie stepped back into her former position behind my ass. There was no forewarning this time. The moment I felt the tip of her cock on my asshole, it was rammed up my ass with a single violent thrust. If the flogging had hurt, there was no comparing to the pain that exploded inside me. I thought I would faint. I was seeing red before my eyes while my bowels seemed to be ripped apart. I cried out in pain.

‘You like that, eh? I know you like that, you dirty bitch.’

She withdrew almost completely, only to thrust back into me again. She was holding me by the hips and pulled me into her every time she pushed forward. I could almost feel the rubber shaft pushing all the way up to my throat, or at least so I thought. There was no way of telling what was real and what wasn’t anymore. Marie was viciously fucking my ass with such brutal force that I lost all sense of time and space. As during the flogging, she was grunting with every thrust, a sound that reverberated inside my brain and would stay with me long after the ordeal.

Marie fucked me for what seemed an hour but could not have been more than ten minutes, until she suddenly started to shudder behind me and her thrusts fell out of rhythm. She clung onto my back while pushing her pelvis forward against my ass and burying her cock deeper inside me than ever before.

After a short while, Marie slapped my ass and stepped back. The strapon slid out of my asshole, which felt dilated and sore. I had to press my asscheeks together as I felt something stirring inside and I didn’t want another accident. Marie untied the strap that held my wrist chain and I slumped off the vaulting horse onto the floor, exhausted and in severe pain. My legs were bent beneath my body, but Marie came around to the back again and untied my ankle cuffs from the platform. I rolled onto my back and stretched my legs, holding my stomach. Marie unbuckled her strapon and took it to the sink, where she dropped it unceremoniously. She came back to where I was lying on the floor and stood over me. I looked up at her thick cunt bush, then at her face above it.

‘This just doesn’t cut it. I thought I was going to enjoy fucking you, but I still can’t get over the fact that you farted on me and still had the gall to
find that funny. No man has ever been so blatantly disrespectful to me. I need something from you to make me forget what you did. Any ideas?’

‘I-I don’t know. You whipped the l-living daylights out of me. T-that must count for s-something.’

‘I don’t feel vindicated at all. I need more from you.’

‘M-maybe you c-could f-fart on me again?’

‘Naah. Too weak. Anyway, I think you enjoy that. You’re a piss pig and a fart pig. Give me something else. Something that will convince me that you’re sorry about what you did.’

I racked my brain, but came up blank. My stomach was still hurting.

‘You’re not working with me here, Peter. I had expected so much more from you. Jane said you are extremely serviceable and forthcoming. I’m not getting that from you.’
‘I-I’m sorry, Marie. I just can’t seem to think straight right now.’

‘You said earlier you’d do anything for me.’

‘I would. I will. Anything. Anything to make it up to you.’

‘Damn, why must a woman always do everything herself? You men are such fart brains. No imagination at all.’

Marie stepped over me. She grabbed one of the chains that were hanging from the ceiling and pulled it down. It made a rattling sound as it rolled through the ring that held it suspended. It had a hook with a safety pin at its end, which she fastened to the chain between my ankles. Then she walked to the far wall.

Bewildered, I lifted my head to see what she was doing. Attached to the wall was a winding mechanism. She pushed a button on the control panel and an electric motor started to whine. The chain started to wind onto the rolling drum. When it tightened, my feet started going into the air and I had a fit of panic.

‘W-what are you doing?’

‘Getting my vindication. You wouldn’t help me, so I’ll have to get it on my own.’

The motor kept whining and soon my butt lifted off the ground. Marie was making sure that the chain wound orderly, but kept looking back at me to monitor the progress. I looked up to see if the ceiling ring was holding up. It took only twenty seconds to have me dangling upside down from the ceiling at a height where my hands no longer touched the floor. Marie pushed another button and the motion stopped.

‘Let me down.’

‘I will. Just not yet.’

The blood was rushing to my head and I felt it was about to explode.

‘Let me down. I can’t be like this much longer.’

‘Just keep breathing. Don’t stop breathing. Your blood will circulate.’

I concentrated on my breathing and the pressure in my head subsided. I calmed down. Marie came up to me. I felt like a tuna fish that had just been fished out of the ocean.

‘I want you to listen carefully. What I’m going to do to you now is not pleasant in any way, but I don’t give a shit. I was going to spare you this part, at least on our first date, but you left me no choice.’

The trembling was back again. I thought I knew what she was referring to, but I couldn’t see how she could pull that off with me hanging upside down. I wished I had been more insistent with Al to tell me everything.

Marie went to the cabinet and picked a pair of handcuffs from one of the upper shelves, the kind the police used on criminals. She came back to me, bent down and unlocked the cuffs around my wrists with a little key she pulled from her between her breasts. She fastened one end of the handcuffs to my left wrist, then turned me around by the shoulders and pulled both my arms up behind my back. She fastened the other end of the handcuffs to my right wrist and whirled me around again.

‘You’re nothing but a dirty pig. You know that, don’t you?’

‘Yes, I do.’

She slapped my face. Although I saw her hand coming, I had a coordination problem as from my awkward position I was unable to calculate the trajectory and instead of avoiding the slap, I moved my head right into it.

‘Pigs don’t speak. Pigs grunt and squeal.’

She slapped me again. I squealed like a pig, partly to oblige, partly in pain and fear.

‘You can squeal all you want, piggy, you’ll still get exactly what you deserve.’

Marie turned her back to me. Reaching between her legs, she grabbed my hair and pulled my head through her legs. My nose brushed her cunt on its way through. I looked up at her face.

‘This is how I treat dirty pigs like you.’

She pushed my head back between her legs until my face was under her ass. She bent slightly at the knees and planted her ass right onto my face. She shook my head, then pulled it back and forth as if she were wiping her ass with my face.

‘Grunt, pig. I know you like the stink of my ass. Makes you feel right at home, doesn’t it?’

I grunted in attempted agreement. She would expect no less.

‘Pigs like you like to live in filth and squalor. Show me how you like it.’

I grunted some more. My grunts were muffled every time I passed through her ass crack and cunt, which made for a funny effect, but my scalp and my neck were hurting too much to allow me to fully appreciate the entertaining quality of the moment.

‘Yeah, I knew you would. Here, enjoy this.’

Marie steadied my head and pulled my nose up her ass crack. Three farts slipped in rapid succession from her asshole, engulfing me in a cloud of putrid foulness.

‘Ooooh! That feels soooo good.’

Marie pulled my head through her legs again to look at my face. Her eyes were shining with a frightening mixture of lust and mischief.

‘I’ve got a special treat for my little piggy. Would you like a taste of my special treat, piggy?’

I didn’t think I would, but I was sure she wasn’t really asking for my permission. I grunted.

‘Good. Open your pig mouth, then.’

I opened my mouth. Marie pushed my head back between her legs and settled her ass on my face. My nose slid into her cunt, which was sliming heavily, while my open mouth was exactly on the bottom of her slightly spread ass crack. Two farts whistled into my mouth, then it was
silent for a while. I felt her asscheeks harden around my chin while her body started to tremble slightly. Something was happening, because there was a very strong smell of fresh shit in the air.

‘Here it comes, piggy. Open wide. It’s a big one… Urghhhh!’

Suddenly I felt something hard and slimy press against my lips. I opened my mouth wider, and I felt a thick turd slowly gliding between my spread lips. When its tip touched my tongue, I became aware of it extremely bitter and foul taste. It was like nothing I had ever tasted before.

The taste was so strong it numbed my tongue.

Marie kept pushing above me and the turd curled against the back of my throat as it kept sliding in. I had a series of gag reflexes which I was somehow able to control without throwing up. Marie slowly lifted her ass with the turd still dangling from her asshole. The end of it finally popped out of her asshole and fell with a dry thud across my face.

‘There! Take that, you dirty pig bastard.’

Marie let go of my head and turned around. She was rubbing her cunt with her right hand while watching me dangle beneath her with a thick piece of her shit hanging from my mouth. She stepped forward and spread her legs. Drops of her cuntslime sprayed from her jerking cunt and dripped on my face. Suddenly, a buzzer went off.

‘Damn. Who can that be?’

She stepped off me and went to the door, where she pushed a button on the intercom that was installed right next to it.

‘Yes, who is it?’

‘It’s me. Let me in.’

I recognized Jane’s voice even over the garbled intercom. The way she rolled her eyes, Marie did not seem very happy.

‘Who me?’

‘What do you mean, who me? It’s me. Open the door. I’m freezing my ass off out here.’

‘I’m busy.’

‘I know you’re busy. Let me in.’

‘You know who I’m busy with, don’t you?’

‘Dammit, Marie, can we talk about this inside? Or do you want the whole street to know?’

Marie hesitated for a few seconds, then pushed the button on the intercom that unlocked the front door.

‘Come up. You know where.’

My heart fell. I didn’t want Jane to see me like this. It was bad enough to be humiliated by Marie. I did not want an audience, and much less Jane, who I’m sure would lose the last shred of respect she had for me if she saw me like this. It would ruin our chances of ever getting together again. Imagine I should try to kiss her with this mouth, she would forever be reminded that she had seen Marie’s shit in it. I decided to spit it out.

Fuck Marie. Jane was who I really cared about.

The turd was hard and heavy in my mouth and I needed leverage to push it out. I maneuvered my tongue beneath it, which dislodged a new wave of bitter flavor. Just when I started to push, Marie’s high heel shoes appeared beneath my head.

‘What are you doing?’

I looked up at her with a plea in my eyes.

‘Don’t you dare! I had a hard time shitting that sucker out. Show some respect.’

Then Jane was in the room. Marie kicked my head and left me to greet Jane. They embraced and kissed. Jane looked at me in amazement and amusement. She giggled and wanted to say something, but Marie cut her off.

‘You’re not here to cause trouble, are you? You said you were through with him. You said I could have him.’
‘Don’t be silly. I want nothing from him. I… I’m just curious, that’s all.’

‘Curious about what?’

‘About how you’re doing him. And how he takes it.’

‘The last time I let you sit in on one of my sessions, when Al was still with me, you wanted nothing of it. You said it grossed you out.’

Something else All hadn’t told me. Nor Jane, for that matter.

‘Well, I changed my mind.’

‘Why? Because now it’s Peter?’

‘Damn, Marie. You’re just like him, you know. You two deserve each other.’

‘OK, OK, I’m sorry. Then why?’

‘Hell, I don’t know. I guess my first reaction to it was revulsion. I have that thing with cleanliness, you know that. You said yourself it drives you crazy to see me mopping and scrubbing and dusting my apartment all day long. But the more I come to think about it, the more it intrigues me.’

‘What about it intrigues you?’

‘Well that’s what I’m here to find out. I don’t know. The power, I guess. To be able to get a man to do that for you. Isn’t that what it’s all about?’

‘In part, yes. You get that powerful feeling. But it’s more than that. Men disgust me. The way they think they mean the world to us and how they treat us. The truth is they’re all pigs. This is how I get back at them. By pissing and shitting on them, I show them the lousy bastard dirty pigs they are. And you know what? They like it! Do you know why they like it?’

‘No. Why?’

‘Because they’re lousy bastard dirty pigs, that’s why. All of them. Watch.’

Marie came back to where I was still suspended from the ceiling.

‘Are you enjoying my shit, pig?’

It was not the same with Jane in the room. The spell was broken. I felt embarrassed to be seen like this. Jane had made a point of treating me badly every chance she got, but never like this. This was different.

‘I said, are you enjoying my shit, pig?’

Marie kicked me in the head. The kick sent me swaying and I let out a muffled shriek of pain. I looked at Jane. She was not appalled by the way Marie treated me. In fact, she seemed rather fascinated. Marie’s foot moved again, but I grunted quickly like a pig.

‘Eat it, pig. Eat my shit. And hurry up, I haven’t finished shitting.’

I looked at Marie, then at Jane, then at Marie again. Jane’s presence had, if anything, only hardened Marie’s resolve. With my front teeth and tongue, I pulled the turd up into my mouth and started to chew on it, cautiously. The taste became unbearable again and started off a rush of saliva which dripped in brown drops from my upper lip onto the floor beneath me.

‘Smack like a pig. I want to see my shit move around inside your mouth. I want to see how you enjoy it.’

I smacked and grunted like she wanted me to. It took me several minutes to chew it up and gulp it down. Being upside down didn’t help, either.

When I was done, Marie lifted my head by the hair.

‘Open your mouth. Show Jane you ate it all.’

I did as I was told. It couldn’t be a pretty sight, but Jane was absolutely fascinated by it. Without letting go of my head, Marie lifted her right leg and pushed it between my body and her arm until she was straddling my head again. Without delay she pulled my face into her shit-smeared ass and started pushing again. From the corner of my eye I saw Jane pulling closer to have a better look. She squatted down between Marie’s legs and stared at her asshole which was pumping between my lips. The stench of shit was unbearable, but she didn’t seem to be bothered by it.
I could hear Marie’s second turd prattle as it push its way out of her asshole and past my lips. My mouth was filling up quickly. Marie was grunting with the effort.

‘Start chewing, pig, eat it up, I’ve got plenty more and I want you to eat it all.’

I chewed and swallowed as fast as I could, but Marie’s shit kept flowing from her asshole and it was impossible to keep up with it. I could feel it heaping up on my face and Marie lifted her ass to make room for it. I kept pulling it in from below, and eventually I managed to swallow the complete dump down. Jane stepped aside when Marie let go of my head and straightened up.

‘Do you know how you can tell if they like it? Look at his dick.’

I became aware of my dick, which was hard as a rock and about to explode.

‘See how it’s pumping? Watch this.’

I felt Marie’s hand close around my cock. No sooner did she start to jerk it softly up and down, a wave of pleasure shook my body and I knew I was done for. Marie quickly lifted up my head with her free hand and thick globs of white sperm came shooting down straight into my mouth. My body was spasming violently but Marie managed to keep my mouth aligned with my pumping cock at all times. I had to swallow my own load in order to keep from drowning in it. Jane was gasping in awe. Suddenly, she unzipped her pants and pulled them down, panties and all.

‘Let him down. Hurry. I have to shit on him. I just have to.’

Marie smiled and stepped to the wall to push the button. The winding mechanism whined as I bumped my head against the floor and doubled over on my back. Before my ass hit the floor Jane straddled my head and squatted on my face. Thick strings of cuntslime were drooling from her shaved cunt. Her broad ass spread as it came plunging toward me. A wad of thick soft shit exploded from her asshole when she was halfway down and splashed on my face with a wed thud. Then she was on my face and her shit flowed into my mouth.

Jane’s shit was soft and sour. My mouth quickly filled up with her hot heavy load and although it was a lot easier to swallow, I had to gulp frantically to keep up with the steady flow. At the same time, her cunt was hissing as a thick stream of piss shot up my nose and into my mouth, blending with her shit that kept on flowing without interruption. Bereaved of my airflow, I entered into a panic. I shook my head from side to side to free myself from Jane’s messy embrace, but she was oblivious to my peril. Still pissing and shitting without respite, she dropped down on her knees and started to grind her hips, sliding both her massively overflowing orifices up and down my face. She came in a scream, clasping my head between her powerful thighs in a deadly hug. When she finally relaxed, piss and shit were still flowing from both her holes. I was desperately gasping for air between gulps.

‘Oh my, woman, what have you been eating?’

Marie was holding her nose while she laughed her head off. Marie looked down between her legs at the mess she had made on my face, on her thighs and on the floor.

‘I had no idea… I have never felt so excited in my life.’

She got to up. Her cunt and ass unlocked from my face with a sloshing sound, dripping clods of shit. Marie looked down at me and laughed.

‘That is one mess you made there. How the hell am I going to clean that up?’

‘I’m sorry. I’ll take care of that. Do you have a mop around?’

‘Don’t bother. I’ll just hose him down.’

She straddled my face and started to pee. Her piss rained down from her hairy cunt and splattered on my face and all around me. She grabbed her cunt with both hands and spreading it wide, directed the flow from the top of my head down to my neck and back up again. When she was done, she jerked her cunt a few times not unlike men would do after a piss and stepped off me. She unlocked my ankle cuffs and kicked me in the side to make me roll over onto my stomach so she could unlock my handcuffs. Then she turned to Jane.

‘You need a shower. Here, wrap this between your legs or you’ll drip all over my floor.’

She took my shirt from the chair and handed it to Jane, who pulled it between her legs and tied it around her waist like a diaper. Before leaving the room with Jane, Marie turned to me.

‘Peter, lick up the mess and then you can wash up at the sink over there. Sorry I can’t give you a towel, but there’s some paper tissues in the cabinet. Make us some tea when you’re done, we’ll be in my bedroom. First door to the right just after the stairs.’
I’d had enough piss and shit for one day, so I washed up first and then sopped up the mess with a kitchen roll from the cabinet. I sprayed half a can of air freshener but was unable to dispel the shit smell from the room. I dressed quickly, putting on my sweater over my undershirt as Jane had taken my shirt. When I returned from the kitchen with a pot of herb tea and two cups on a silver platter, the two women were already in Marie’s bedroom, sprawled out on the large bed dressed in nightgowns. I served them each a cup of tea and held the sugar for them.
‘Peter, Jane is going to sleep over. You might as well, it’s late and freezing cold. Tomorrow is Sunday, we could do something together. What do you think?’
Thinking was not something I felt capable of after today’s events. I nodded in a haze.
‘You can have the guest room, it has its own shower so you can use that if you feel like it. I have no pajamas but I left one of my old nightgowns on the bed. It gets pretty cold at night. Oh, and Peter, before you turn in, be a darling and bring me a cucumber from the kitchen. There are some in the vegetable tray in the fridge. Don’t cut it up or anything, just the cucumber as it is. We might get hungry later tonight.’
The two women giggled like little children. I fetched the cucumber and dropped it off in Marie’s room. Then I took a long hot shower in my room and put on Marie’s nightgown and a pair of socks I found in one of the drawers. There was an unused toothbrush and a fresh tube of toothpaste in a glass on the sink. Although I brushed my teeth five times, I was unable to dispel the taste of shit in my mouth. Before going to bed, I washed my briefs and my undershirt in the sink and hung it on the towel rack to dry, as I would not have a clean change tomorrow morning.
I couldn’t sleep. Haunting sounds came from the room next to mine. I could hear Jane’s and Marie’s giggling, which soon turned to moaning and then screaming. After a short silent pause, they would start all over again, several times on end. I thought I would be jealous that Jane was having it off with her friend, but somehow I couldn’t evoke the old feeling. Nothing was the same after tonight.

I woke up the next morning around nine. Everything was quiet in Marie’s room. I went downstairs to turn up the thermostat, then returned to my room to take a shower. I wanted to dress, but my underwear hadn’t dried so I decided to stay in the nightgown for a while. I went downstairs to the kitchen and made coffee and eggs benedict for three. I sliced a loaf of old bread and toasted it. I filled a large serving tray with plates, cups, toast, butter, marmalade, the poached eggs, the hollandaise sauce and the coffee, and took it upstairs. The door to Marie’s bedroom was ajar so
I went straight in.

‘Rise and shine, ladies. It’s a beautiful day.’

I opened up the curtains. It had snowed during the night and the roofs and trees were under a white frosty coat. Marie was the first to get up.

She was stark naked.

‘Oh, breakfast in bed. You’re a doll, Peter.’

She stepped up to the dresser where I had placed the tray. She took a piece of toast and dipped it in the marmalade, then turned to me.

‘Come here, I have to pee.’

Taking a bite from her toast, she placed her left hand on my shoulder and pushed me to my knees. She spread her legs and pushed her cunt forward. I opened my mouth and negotiating my way through her curly bush, locked it over her cuntlips. After a short while, Marie started pissing. Her piss was warm and bitter in my mouth. I gulped her down to the last drop.

‘Very good. You can lick me clean now.’

I pressed my tongue between her cuntlips and started to lap up the moisture until she was clean. When she stepped off me, I saw Jane was sitting up in bed, equally naked, watching us. Marie turned to her, brushing my face with her thin ass.

‘Oh, Jane, you’re up. Would you like to use my toilet before we have breakfast?’

Jane threw back the sheets and got up. She stood in front of me and spread her legs. I had to slump down a bit to bring my mouth at the height of her barren cuntlips. She spread her cunt with one hand and raising to her toes placed it right onto my waiting mouth. She looked down at me and stroked my hair while she relieved herself in my mouth. I licked her clean just as I had done for Marie.

The women put on their nightgowns and lay down on the bed. I served them coffee, eggs and toast. I wasn’t sure if I would be allowed to eat with them, but Marie patted the bed beside her.

‘Grab a plate and join us, Peter. This is indeed a beautiful morning. As we’re all in nightgowns, let’s have a nice girlie talk.’

They laughed. I grinned sheepishly.

‘Are you going to keep him?’

Jane looked at Marie while she forked half an egg into her mouth.

‘Is it OK with you if I do?’

‘Sure. I told you, it didn’t work out very well between us. He’s perfect for you, though. You don’t want a man to have a life of his own. You want a man to be at your beck and call every minute of the day and night, within easy reach. Someone you can order around and mold to your needs.
That’s Peter in a nutshell.’

‘Well, I’d say he’s workable material. He did pass the test. I’ll have him move in this afternoon, and we’ll see how it goes. He has a lot to learn.’

I cleared my throat.

‘Am I going to have a say in this?’

Jane and Marie looked at each other with their mouths full, then broke out in laughter that sent sprays of egg and toast all over the bed. Jane recovered first.

‘Darling, after what I witnessed yesterday, I think you have already spoken.’

This triggered another fit of laughter.

‘Oh yes, he has. Loud and clear, I should say. At least, his dick has.’

They were right. I knew deep inside that I was hooked. Although the shit stuffing had been an ordeal that I had struggled with considerably, at least taste-wise, it had triggered an emotional and sexual ecstasy unparalleled in my life.

‘See? It agrees!’

Jane pointed at my groin, where my dick was poking my nightgown in an indication of its sovereign decision.

‘What are you going to do, Jane? Do you have your eye on someone?’

‘Naah, just the old crew, you know. I’m fine. You know me, I’m not the shacking-up type.’

‘Listen, anytime you feel the need, you come to me. My house is your house, and so is everything in it. You can use him for practice. You’ll need to practice if you’re going to pursue your new hobby, and I could teach you all the tricks of the trade. I’m sure Peter won’t mind, and you know

I’m always glad to help you out with whatever you need.’

‘That’s kind of you, Marie. You know what? We could take him with us on our trip to Spain we planned for the summer.’

‘That’s a great idea. He can carry our bags and we won’t have to worry about the toilets in the hotel, we’ll just bring our own!’

‘Speaking of toilet, I’ll shit the bed if I don’t go now. My stomach is a bit queasy. I’m going to have to use yours again. You don’t mind?’

‘Not at all, go right ahead. And don’t bother to flush, I feel my morning dump coming down.’

Jane took me by the hand and pulled me after her into the bathroom. It was a beautiful morning indeed.

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