A young girl who ran away from home

Hullo, my name is Tajacamoe. More like Jeff. Last week i went to my poor friend ryan’s house. His sexy younger sister was so banging that she could honestly turn tjat faggot Howie Mandell straight cause hes probably queer. Me and ryan were watching some hardcore knockoff porn of disneys bambi when we started doing some firehose coccaine. Ryan, being a pussè started shaking and tweeking out so i went to the bedroom next to his. Inside was his sister, Kandi. She was shaving her coochie when i barged in.
“HOLY COCKSANDWICH,” she yelled.
“Shut the fuck up bitch,” yelled and slapped her to calm her down.
“I think i put a towel on my poon,” she nervously said.
“Allow me,” i said in a badass james bond kind of way that would moisten any hetro female in a six mile radius. (by the way is a straight girl called hetro? Cause it feels weird typing it.”
Dripping from the phrase i previously announced, that slut performed an olympic dive towards my slong, but instead of diving, her mouth went on my weiner. For a jap or chink that slut could take my cock. She craved my slong like honor for her family and sweet and sour dog. She kept on screaming weird exotic asian phrases like “thasmystinktube” and “stopbangingmyslophole”.
When i finished she said my ejaculant tasted like miso soup so I punched her. Then she made me a sandwich and I told her Ryan probably died so she went to give him love long time and I left.
I walked three blocks towards the not black part of town to see my friend Moore. I knocked on the door and was greeted by some milf who dressed in a cheetah outfit, practically begging for a dong inside her slit.
“Who are you,” that snobby slut said to me.
“WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU,” I said right back to that twat bitch.
“Im the fucking home owner,” the woman responded like I gave two shits.
“Where the he’ll is Moore,” I asked as polite one could ask a question to a complete cunt. Bitch. Asshole.
“Obvious not home fuckstick, ” she replied.
Finally I fucking opened that door and bent that hoe over for punishment. As I pushed her to her knees I found she knowingly embraced my dick which was odd. Seconds later I found myself skull fucking the milf, when Moore opened the front door. He was all like “Wtf mate,” so I punched him in his gooch and ran like hell back to ryan’s for safety. I called him to the porch and told him, were going to pick up Katie and Lauren to go see that new faggy movie with the dolphin tail and Morgan Freeman.
Ryan abruptly stopped me to tell me Lauren can suck it, he wants Paige there. Now Paige is about five foot nothing, four hundred pounds. Me and Ryan walked and picked up Katie and she came with us to the fucking kfc to go get Paige. I had to put my stiletto knife to that fat whore to get her to come with us but she did because her and Ryan are in love. We got in the theater and Katie sat to my left, Ryan to my right and Paige was in the other four seats to ryan’s right. Immediately I got a boner from Angelina Jolie in a promo a Katie began giving me a foot job somehow.don’t fucking question how that’s possible, it fucking happened. Paige felt jealous so she maneuvered her slob of human gelatin to position her body to reach ryan’s vag with her hand and she began fingering him. With no one else in the theater, we all moved to different aisles to have warm sweaty sex. I was intensely pounding the walls of Katie but I could ‘plode in her because I heard groans from the other side of the theater.
I had to stop slamming Katie because she did not have insurance and I couldn’t continue cause she would have needed a hospital admission if I stayed erect. I decide to go wash my wiener off in the bathroom and glanced at the room and saw Paige unconscious on top of Ryan. After I assembled a crew of six men and a school bus of retarded children, we finally had enough strength to push the mass of raw human efulage that was Paige off my friend. Ryan had no heartbeat and had to be rushed to the ER. The Nurse, Sherman, told me the city news. (read city like an asian would)
“He had no oxygen reaching his cunting head for nine minutes,” she sadly said to me.
“Great, but I fucking asked if I could take a shit in that bathroom, not the prognosis you cunt, if I wanted to know what was wrong with Ryan, I’d ask a man.” I replied.
“Nurse sherman, we need you in the ER quickly, this patient Matt has a sheep lodged on his penis, anally of course,” was called on the intercom.
I left that depressing shithole and saw Brie walking home. I called her over and we started ripping each other clothes off. She took off my mesh thong and I took her spent maxipad off. We began the dirty sex on the street and she asked me to stick it in her pooper. I explained that I go by “assholes are for shitting and nutin else” but that I’d stick it in her shitlocker this one time for fun only. After ninety minutes of hardcore, unlubricated anal sex I donkey punched her sixteen times and creamed that hoe like Ben & Jerry’s. She then shoved her left thumb up her poopshoot and then took my nut butter and liked it so I pulled out my bernelli super Vinci and made her eat the barrel and I blew her brains on the floor cause that shit is gross. Rele gross.
Then I walked past the crystal meth lab and saw Pizzels masturbating fiercely until his dick bleed and he had to use paper towels to clean it up.
Lastly I stopped at Sam gloffenators house to karate chop her in the throat for being chunky. But then I also had sex with her neighbor Katy Perry. I got a tit job and I jazzed on her hair. Her nipples were like nick minaj’s nipples. Then I kicked a Jew down a well and set fire to a children’s hospital while singing Mac millers Frick park market. And I chainsawed a Canadian to death. And had sex with a preschooler.

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Erin has asked me to write a little something here about the two of us and our life together.
To be honest, I can’t.
Not because I’m lazy, you understand. No, it’s because beyond a certain point, it’s really hard to explain everything that went in to the two of us getting married. And that’s what’s really the most interesting thing about all this. That’s why you’re reading this, isn’t it? To read the touching, warm, wonderful story about how we met, and fell in love and decided we wanted to be with each other for the rest of our lives. To find out what it was that made us decide to take this leap.
But I’ll be honest with you: I don’t particularly enjoy looking back on everything it took to get to this point. A lot of it was really tough. All worth it, of course. Every minute of it. We dug our feet in quite often, determined that all the hard stuff didn’t matter, ultimately, because we loved each other enough to figure it out, to make it work. To figure out how to spend the rest of our lives together.
As much as the prelude really tells the story, the exciting part of the story of the two of us – from my perspective, anyway – has been knowing that because of all of that work, we’re able to tackle each day as a couple. Doing so makes getting through this life that much more enriching and exciting for me.
I can’t explain that to you alone, because it wouldn’t have happened without both of us working on it together. So me telling that story by myself is impossible. It leaves out Erin’s side of things completely. Without Erin, there is no story, you see. There is no “us.” There is no “rest of my life.”
But Erin has stubbornly refused to work on this with me, so I’ll give it a shot.
Erin and I have been dating for a couple years now. We met while we were working together on a blog called Chicagoist. I was writing about music and movies, and Erin was writing about food. Since we were working online, we mostly corresponded via e-mail in the beginning, often in group threads discussing story ideas with the other writers. The first time I felt compelled to e-mail just her was when she did this post on pazckis and was getting a bruisin’ from commenters on the site. I e-mailed her to tell her that they oughta get stuffed. She agreed.
It’s impossible to overestimate how quickly we became friends after that. It honestly scared the crap out of me. Like that scene in The Matrix where Keanu suddenly realizes “I know kung-fu…” Having a conversation with Erin in person for the first time was like that. I felt like I instantly knew who she was, and what she was all about, and how much the two of us had in common.
The first time we met, I hugged her before I’d said as much as hello. First time we met: Hug. Now, we had talked over e-mail and IM several times prior to that. But still, it was a little cart-before-the-horse to be hugging someone I just met. Luckily, this didn’t seem to bother her that much. Later, she would tell me it felt natural. (Let’s face it, I’m a pretty good hugger.)
This meeting was during a brunch for Chicagoist writers at Wishbone on Lincoln Avenue. We were seated at a really long table of 15 people. We sat at the same end of the table, and I made a big effort to talk to a lot of people other than Erin so I wouldn’t seem like a total doofus. I was probably only moderately successful.
The next time we hung out together was during a Chicagoist reader Happy Hour at a now-closed bar called My Bar on Addison and Ashland. That night was fraught with problems. Some weird dude stole some of the prizes we were giving to readers. There was this reddish-colored cocktail that was getting everybody loaded. Erin slipped and fell on her butt. But all through that night, I just kept thinking “I really want to be friends with this person forever.”
We spent untold amounts of bandwith sending each other e-mails and IMs, talking about everything from music, to current events to just general bullshit. We also went to several concerts together, had several drinks together and helped each other through a lot. Does this make us different from other couples? No, probably not.
More than anything though, I think this is the thesis that has guided me and Erin through our entire relationship: “I just really want to be friends with this person forever.” I’m not sure either of us really knew what that was going to mean other than this: We knew we had to figure out a way to be a part of each other’s lives, because now that we knew this other person was out there, if we didn’t it would always feel like something was missing. Like Keanu going “Wait…I’m pretty sure I knew a martial art…I forget which one, but…woah.”
So I could tell you about a bunch of other stuff from our relationship like when we went to Memphis and saw Al Green and ate the best cheeseburger in the country. Or the time she met most of my college friends and I became convinced they liked her better than me. Or going to roller derby together. Or how every year on Valentine’s Day we go to White Castle. Or how going to a half-empty bar and shooting the shit with Erin is my favorite thing to do.
I could tell you all those things, but the story pretty much begins and ends with Erin and me.
We’re the rest of each other’s lives together. And that’s all that matters.
– Scott
–
This is Scott. He is 33-years old and the Web Editor of Time Out Chicago magazine. Born in Lansing, Ill., he cites his years attending college in Ohio as his most formative, and his years since, living in Chicago, as his most enriching. In that time, he’s worked as a tech support rep and a supervisor at a runaway youth hotline. He’s also written for the local culture blog Chicagoist (where he engaged in a public feud with ’80s rocker Richard Marx, which was later immortalized in a YouTube video), freelanced for Metromix and Centerstage Chicago, and has been a commentator on Chicago Tonight, WGN Radio 720, and Filmspotting, a film review podcast. In his spare time, Scott enjoys comic books (especially Superman), whiskey, the oeuvre of Queen, Wii, The Faces, and the Atlantic Rhythm and Blues boxed set.
Oh, and Erin.
This is Erin. She is 32-years-old and the Director of Community Development for FohBoh.com, a B2B social networking site. Erin is a short, liberal Irish-Catholic from Joliet, Ill. who spent her college years in Peoria, Ill., before moving to Chicago. For good. Now that she has spent almost a decade living here, after a few cocktails she has a tendency to unleash a flood of “dis, dat, dem, dere, dos” onto the unsuspecting eardrum. Erin’s blog, Lose the Buddha, has appeared in O Magazine, the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, the Chicago Tribune, Women’s Health, Women’s Day Weekly as well as Web sites such as MSBNC.com and Lifescript. She’s been on Good Morning America and WGN-AM radio, too. In 2005, her first, and at this rate last, book, Tales from the Scale, was published and lots of nice people bought it and said nice things about it. She has been blogging since God was a boy.
In her spare time, Erin enjoys running, cooking, scotch, and obsessing.
Oh, and Scott.
Erin and Scott live in the Roscoe Village neighborhood, where they are allowed to live because they own a dog. Her name is Glin, and she is a golden retriever. This is her. She likes chasing her ball, pig ears, licking your feet, eating grass and puking it up, and barking for no reason.
Glin is the one creature in Erin and Scott’s lives who is really ticked that she’s not attending the wedding.

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Okay here’s my story my cousin comes in from out of town
every couple times a year to visit and he usally
will sleep over at my house one evry time he visit so this one time he sleep over at my house he where
watching tv down stares and we disided to go to bed so we did but there was only one bed open and that was
my bed because why parents and other brother where sleeping inthe other two beds we had so anyways me
and my cousin both sleeped in my bed and we were talking about like how many blow jabs and stuff we got by
girls and stuff and he asked if I wanted to Jack off with him and I didn’t think nothing of it so I said yes and he
started to jack off then after awhile he grabed my dick and started to give me a hand job and it felt amazing so
he told me to gave his and do the same so I did and after a while we bout jizzed over eachothers hands and
we just cleaned up and stuff then we just layed there and though how amazing that felt then he asked if he
asked if I wanted him to blow my cock and I was not gay and still not I’m bi so anyways I said yes because I
wanted to know how it felt so he gave me one and it also felt amazing he gave me it for like a half hour and I
finally jizzed all in his mouth and he eat it all and he said it taste soo good so that mad me really horny and I
started to blow his dick and after about ten minutes be cam in my mouth and it also tasted really good I think
and then we rimed eachother and cum sweaped in eachothers mouths and I got so caught up in the moment
and I asked him if ge could bang me in the ass and he said hell ya and by the way his cock is huge it like 12
inches long so he put it in my nice and slow and I started to moan so loud and then he finally got his hole dick
in my and started to really bang me and I loved evey bit of it it was the best feeling of my life so he fucked me
for about one hour and he jizzed in me and then after awhile he finally pulled out and I started to bang him
and he said it was the best feeling of his life also then after I cam in him I pulled out and we just sat there for
like a hour just thinking how great that felt and then the next day we got up and the sheets were soaked and
we went down stares and all we felt was all the cum running down our legs and it was the best felling ever and
he’s been back like four times a year an we been doing the samething for about two years now and everytine it gets better
and better!! This is just so it hits the 5000 word mark doesn’t
count torward the story sorry about this..
hhshshdbdnsnsnsjhdbdncndjdjdkfjfjfjfjkdjfjdksJjjjjjhdkskskdbdnskskdhdjdkdndbdndkkdkkddkkddhdjdjskkshshhdhhdhdfhdbnejkdkfkdkdksllaldkdjdjxjjkdkdidcijddddndnndbfbsggsuueiaooqlnnenfnsjxjskjfkslfjnjckjskwkxkfkekcmcnnsnskcjsnsnxksdhdndjxjsnsnkzkxksksjdjskkskdjskjdjdkskdjjdkskdjdjdskkshdjskfjdjdkdkhhhhbbbbbbbbbbnjjdjdkdkdkfkdkdkfkdkdkdkdkdkdkdkdkdkdkdkdkdkdjddjdjjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdjdkdjjdjdjdjjdjdjdjjdfjfjfjjfjjfjjfjfjfjfjfjjfjfjdkdkkskalaalallalsdlldkdkdkdlslsjdjakddjsddhdhdhhdhhhhhhdhdjskdjdkslalakkskdkskskdjndmxncmdjdhdsjjddkdllssllalalsjdjdjfkmfdmxksmskkfkeieiwiqowoifirueuhdjddjjejwkwwjdjjfnfkfkglflglflwwoisidjfnxnksdknfnfjgkkdnnskfnfncjjfnfjcndlslksjsjfjfnndjdhjwhhqiioruehhfnbdjdhdjkdndndncndjdjdjsjdjjfjfjjjsjjfjfjjfjjjssjjddjdjjfjfjfjfkkkdkkskkskkskkfjfjfjfjjjsjsjsjskkkmannanznsnsndnncncnckskskskkskwksiqiqodjejjdjdieuejdjdfncnxnajjdjdncnsjcnndnxjcndnjcjxnxjcjdkskslsslsljcjdkslaSbsbsbjddllslalsddkdjjdjnxnxnxcjxjdkskalaoskdkfksishahqjsjsjfkjdshdhjdjdjajaldkdjsjdjdjfndjdjdjdjdjskaiaiaisjskdsjsjsjkssksksjjsjsjsjjsjsjsjssjjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjjsjsjsksksksksjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjjsjssjjsjsjsjsjsjsjsmckcmcnccckmkjglgzgzgsststfssssssssssfssgssstsghhdjdddfghhjddjjddhhssjskdkdkdkddkdkdkdkdkdkfjfjdkdkskssklsssllsllsskskskksksksskkskjsjssjsjjsjsjssjkkslkakalalakakdhhdkajsjskdjsajsjskdnsnkskskedjjdkskskwlwkejdjjsjakaksjshdjjsjskfkjdjsjsksksdjdnkssndhjdksksdjjdjdksksjddjjhhvvvvvvvjkkkkdkdkdkdjsjjakakalslwlkrkrjdjdjrjdjfjdkdkdkdkffjrhjrjdkskskskslslskskdkskskskskskskskskskkdkdhjdkaakskjfjdjdjdjjdjdjdjjkkakakalallskfjdjfjkallskfjjfjfjfjfjjfjjfjf.rhddhdjjkskjsjdjdksskfjjdjsjshfjdjsjsjfjfjdjdjsjsskkdjdffhsakjfhfkaksksiwiwiwieiueuwiwiwhdjeuuaiiaisjjdnxndjsjdjjfjfjjdjdjdjjdjsiqllaisudiakkwuwuwiqiqifjdjdbbcbjsjjakkakakkKckcjjsjsnndjjsjsjsjsjakamammmbxxnndkskdjaksjdjjhdhdjslaskdjjskskfhfcjoslkdfnbjssjjssjjsjsjsjdkdsjjzsjsjjdxhdhdhhssjkajsjdskdkdjdfjfjdjdkjdjdjajsjfjjddhdhhddhhfhhdhdhhdhdjslllaaloalaalkak Djdjjdjdjdjfjdjfjfjffjjdkaakhdjsksdjhdhsjkaajsdjdjjfjfkdkdkskaalallakdjfjsjskkdjdshdjkallakdkdkdkdjfjccjrjdjfjfjfjjdieiaiaiaisidufjdjsjajddjdjsksjdhddjjdksksjsjsjjffjkskkksksjfdjakljcjdjdjcjncncndjcnfnjcnjsjakhdjdksjshfhcndjjdhdbdnndndkdjslakjdjsjdjjfheiiiqiiqjjdjdfnndjdjhjsksksjdjdjdjfjdhxhshkakhdncjjdjdhdhhchjcjddjjshshshffhjdjddjjdgjdhjakksjshddjdjjdjskaksjfjdjajsjdfjdjfjsskfkjdhsjfjdjsdhdhdhfhdhhfhgagahskdjjfjdjjddjjsjjssjjejdjhfjfjjddjjdjdjjdjsjsjsjdjdhjshdakakdhhshdhsjshdhdhhdhdhdhdhdhdhdhdjdjdjhdhashsh

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Ihr Leben

10 years into our marriage and the sex was non existent . Don’t get me wrong I loved Maggie but we got into our rut and drifted apart sexually , sure we played the happy family role but me turning 40 and becoming addicted to internet porn ignited a flame inside. On one of my wanking sessions I stumbled across one of those affair sites and decided to create an account .
Browsing around I noticed one woman whose photo was of her squatting over her toilet naked with her face blurred out . Immediately my cock went into overdrive and to my surprise she was from the same town as me . I emailed her my details etc, and asked if she fancied a cheat date .All night my mind raced with images of the squatting lady pissing all over me my boner ached for her.
Next day when I got to my email there was a reply from vixen , she said she loves fucking married men the idea of any woman having something she can’t is ridiculous . She told me she is a nymphomaniac and wants me tonight she sent her number . Rushing to my pocket for my phone I started to fumble around with numbers trying desperately to ring her . After 6 rings she picked up.
”Hello Jeff ”she said ”Ive been expecting your call’ ‘.Her voice sounded so dirty , I asked her where we could meet and she had a motel booked already I got the address and time and after a few naughty comments she hung up.
As 7 o clock approached I arrived at the motel I was becoming nervous the realisation of the situation was starting to take over . Number 5 I spoke quietly to myself as I tapped on the door. Vixen answered and my word was she such an erotic creature .Her face was one of average beauty but with a look of pure lust and sex kitten eyes . Her shoulder length dirty blond hair casually styled and a sensual red figure hugging dress made my cock spring to life. Without warning she grabbed the back off my head and started to kiss me , her tongue probed my mouth she was biting my lip sucking my tongue it was the most amazing kiss I ever had .”Now that’s out of the way , take off your pants ”she said with cheeky smile .
Vixen lay on the bad as I removed my shoes and pants , she had her bare feet pointing suggestively at the end of the bed .”Crawl to mammy and worship my fee” where the exact words to me . At this point im overcome with lust I crawl over and start to suck vixens toes licking her petite feet with golden painted toenails . Licking her underfoot flicking my tongue between her toes ,she seemed to get really aroused , gently moaning to herself as she rubbed her pussy . I slowly began to lick up the inside of her leg until I got to her pussy .Without any panties on I probed out her clit and gently began sucking it and flicking it , within minutes she was writhing around the bed , I continued licking faster faster as I fingered her wet pussy without warning it happened . A big gush splashed off my face and into my mouth vixen had squirted all over me as she roared herself to an almighty climax . I could barely believe how much pussy juice came out before I knew it vixen was licking my face wanting to tasted her on cum. She was like a wild cat now, she pulled my throbbing cock from my briefs and began to suck my off….now im 8 inches erect and this girl was swallowing my whole shaft her tongue licking my head as she jerked me off . After 10 minutes of heaven I shot my wad of cum into her mouth , she then French kissed me with my sperm and demanded I swallow. By now I was ready to do anything vixen wanted …… she told me to get on my knees and spread my ass cheeks .I was a little concerned but did as instructed . Feeling her tongue press against my asshole was a sensation I will never forget it was wildly arousing ….. after licking and probing my butt hole with her tongue she inserted a finger in , my god this was heaven . Vixen told me this is the best way to get any man rock hard . As I stood up she thrust herself on me wrapping her legs around my waist as I impaled her with my cock which was by now like a police truncheon . she bounced and thrust on top of me like woman possessed , we had an awesome rhythm going each time we pulled back we would both meet on cue with a thrust forward . I could feel my cock stretch her womb as I filled it with my hot jizz as we came simultainiously .
After a couple of minutes vixen pulled me by my limp cock to the bathroom and instructed me to lie down , she then positioned her pussy over my face in squatting pose as she sterted to piss .The hot golden liquid splashed over my face the aroma the taste I was euphoric . Vixen then explained that’s her way of showing her dominance marking her territory as it where . She gave me a 9 out of 10 and told me nobody ever got over 7 , and that she would bring me to a 10 as she slowly pushed her middle finger up her ass . Removing her finger she ran it under her nose inhaled deeply …..and stuck it in my mouth , I began sucking her finger the aroma th taste …….. where has this woman been all my life . please comment this is my first story would like some constructive criticism

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my first horny feeling

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