I was twelve the first time I realized my brother shouldn’t see me naked.
  I was fourteen when I realized we weren’t supposed to sleep together anymore.
  Mom never really saw a big deal with letting us sleep in the same
bed, even when we got older. She knew we were innocent kids, and
didn’t think of each other like that. So, naturally when we wen’t up
to the cabin for the summer there wasn’t a question about Connor, my
brother, and I sharing a room. We’d always done it, and neither of us
liked sleeping on the rickety old couch Mom kept in the den. She
claimed the antiquated furniture made the place look tasteful, I just
thought it was a waste of money.
  I breathed in the fresh scent of oak and pine, for a moment I felt
like I was home. My favorite time of year was when we got to visit the
cabin, when I was younger I kicked and screamed when we’d leave. As, I
got older the departure never got easier.
  Connor had already gone inside, throwing his luggage on the bed. I
gently sat my suitcase down. The room was exactly how I remembered;
the king size bed shoved up against the wall – a blanket folded neatly
on top of it, two night stands tucked against the wood bed frame. And,
the huge window on the left side of the wall. I tore the curtains down
a long time ago, I loved the natural lighting the window provided. I
loved it even better when it was just the moon, and the stars, and me.
Oh, and Connor.
  “Race you to the lake,” Connor said popping his head into the doorway.
  “You’re on,” I grinned flinging off my flipflops and taking off past
him. I completely forgot to grap my bathing suit.
  Mom called after us, “be back by sunset!” We whooped and yelled in
response. The trees became a blur, and I was focused on Connor’s
racing figure. He was a few paces ahead of me, per usual. I’d never,
ever beaten him to the lake. Once, I’d even faked an injury to get the
advantage, that’d never worked on Connor. He could tell when I was
lying, it was like he could see right through me.
  Connor and I had always been really close, and our bond was further
cemented when our dad died. Connor was 12, and I was 10. He’d been in
a plane crash, all I could remmeber was how Mom sobbed for what seemed
like days after he died. Connor would come into my room and talk to me
until I’d fall asleep, he’d tell me about how dad wasn’t really dead,
just adventuring. He’d make up such vivid and beautiful stories.
  I was so absorbed into my own thoughts I didn’t see Connor stop, and
so I ran straight into his back.
  “Jesus Christ, Connor,” I fell onto my butt hard, cursing.
  “Shh, you’ll scare the ducks,” he hissed fixated onto the lake. I
rolled my eyes, there were three beautiful ducks sitting in a circle
on the water. I hated the stupid things, but Connor found them so
absolutely fascinating for whatever reason.
  I scoffed, “I could have been seriously injured, and all you care
about are the stupid ducks? Unbelievable.”
  Connor turned on his heel his eyes ablaze, “you think I care more
about the ducks?”
  “N-No, I didn’t mean it, I was just joking,” I stumbled over my
words, not meeting his gaze.
  “Good, now get up, we’ve got a lake to swim in,” he offered his
hand, which I so graciously accepted. I still couldn’t look at Connor,
I felt entirely too embarassed.
  I cursed remembering I didn’t bring my swimsuit, “Connor, I don’t
have anything to swim in.”
  He rolled his eyes stripping off his shirt, “swim in your knickers,
it’s not like we haven’t done it before, you prude.” I shoved Connor’s
shoulder before stripping down to my underwear and bra. Maroon
panties, and a mathing bralette. I noticed how his eyes lingered a
little longer than usual, I didn’t really think anything of it.
  Connor was sporting his blue checkered boxers, and, good lord, was I
captivated by his abs. He didn’t have a six pack by all means, more
like a four pack. However he was very toned, and I could see his veins
prominantly, and that was something that really turned me on. I looked
away instantly my cheeks heating with shame, what the hell is wrong
with me? Connor was my brother, brother. Not, someone I could openly
fantisize about.
  I pushed past Connor before jumping into the cold lake water, the
ducks angrily flapped away. I stuck my tongue out at them, good
riddance. The water was cold, but so refreshing. I loved swimming in
natural water, and not chlorinated water. The bathtub was never big
enough to satisfy my yearnings.
  Connor soon followed suit, making sure to splash me as much as he
could. What an idiot, I thought splashing Connor as soon as he
emmerged. I started laughing as he spit the water out of his mouth,
“Why, you little,” he shouted chasing after me. He snaked his arms
around my waist pulling me close to his chest, I could feel the warmth
of his flesh, and the beating of his heart. I felt a familar sensation
in my crotch area, god, I was so turned on. I instantly pulled away
from my brother, this was so, so wrong. He was just trying to have a
fun time, enjoying the lake, and he had no idea how perveted his
little sister was being.
  “What’s wrong?” he instantly asked, noticing the change in my mood.
  “Oh, nothing,” I smirked innocently before sending a huge wave of
water at Connor.
  He laughed before going after me, this time with a vegence. He
grapped my arm pulling me straight into his chest, I could feel my
breasts push against his bare chest, the only thing seperating the two
were a thin piece of fabric. I felt my nipples poke against his, my
cheeks began to heat up with embarassement.
  “Don’t be ashamed, Laine,” he said, his eyes flashing down to my
breasts, “it’s just because you’re cold.” I nodded, not meeting his
gaze.
  He gripped my arms tighter, “seriously, Laine. It can’t mean
anything. You know that.” His eyes were full of so much intensity, I
started squirming under his gaze.
  “Yeah, of course, I know that,” I tried to play it off like I wasn’t
completely, and utterly turned on by my brother right now.
  He searched my face for a little while, like there was a hidden
answer or something if only he looked a little harder, “good. Now,
let’s go to the cave.”
  The cave was this small area under the water with a tiny hidden
waterfall behind it, we’d found it accidentally many years ago. Now it
was our favorite spot. I pulled my self up on the small rocky area,
under the waterfall – the enterance to the cave – catching my breathe
for a brief moment. Connor pulled himself up next to me.
  “I’m really going to miss this,” he sighed, “most of all I think I’m
going to miss you.”
  “Connor, you’re my brother. You’re stuck with me for life, no matter
where you go,” I shrugged. This was our last year here, well, together
anyways. Connor was going to college in the fall, and I’d be stuck
with mom, all by myself for the next two years. Connor was going to
college in New York, I’d be lucky if I’d get to see him once every six
months.
  “I know, but it just seems like things will never ever be like this
again, and that scares me,” he admitted picking at his nails.
  “Hey, look at me,” I said lifting his chin, “no matter how old we
get, how many children we have, I will always beat your ass to this
lake.” Connor let out a low laugh, it seemed forced though, his smile
didn’t quite meet his eyes.
  As his laugh died down Connor and I just stared at each other,
“you’re so beautiful,” he whispered taking me completely by surprise.
And, I felt him lower his face towards mine – my brain screamed no, to
pull away, but everyone of my insticts were so ready for this kiss.
Our lips met and it felt weird, I hadn’t kissed very many guys, but
none of it had ever felt like this. Connor put his hand on my waist
and pulled me into his lap. He deepend the kiss, and I wanted to rip
his clotehs off right there.
  But, it was like some shred of me had gained sanity and I pulled
away. My hands shots up to my lips, “Connor, I’m so sorry. I didn’t
mean to, it was an accident,” I felt tears well in my eyes. God, how
could I have been so stupid as to kiss my brother. My brother!
  “Laine, don’t cry,” he said softly, “I wanted to kiss you. I needed
to kiss you, I couldn’t go my entire life never knowing.”
  “Knowing what?” I grimaced, turning away from Connor.
  “How I really felt,” he sighed.
  “And, how exactly do you really feel Connor?” I scoffed pulling my
knees to my chest, feeling like a mega idiot.
  “Look at me,” he said grabbing my arm, “I want you to look at me.”
  I turned just enough to see Connor’s face, their was such an
intensity to it, he leaned forwards and kissed me again. This kiss was
different, hungry and feral, like it was 18 years worth of built up
frustration. I felt my entire body melt into his.
  “I love you, Laine. Not the way a brother is supposed to love a
sister,” he gulped, “I look at you, and it takes so much self-control
to not take you right here. You’re so beautiful, especially when you
look at me with those big brown eyes. I’ve tried to hide it, to forget
about it, but I can’t. I can’t stop yearning for you, to feel you, to
kiss you.”
  “Then,” I started slowly, “what’s stopping you?”
  At that moment every single moral went out the window and Connor was
on top of me. One hand underneath my waist, and the other on my
breast. He squeezed and rubbed the nipple with his thumb, I felt my
hips grind against his pelvic bone. Something hard pressed against my
thigh.
  I moaned as he pushed my bra aside and took my boob into his mouth,
his tongue flicked over my nipple, his other hand gliding up and down
my innerthigh. “I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he mummured
before lowering himself in between my legs. He slid off my panties and
instantly got to work. His tongue slid up and down my moist lips
before he settled on the clitoris. He sucked and licked, and I felt
every single one of my nerve endings light on fire. It was a very good
thing no one could hear us, because I am sure I was screaming by now.
  “Please,” I begged holding onto Connor’s shoulder tightly.
  “Please, what?” he asked lifting his head up.
  “Fuck me, I want to feel you inside of me, every inch,” I panted. He
didn’t waste a moment before he’d stripped off his boxers, and was
positioning the tip right against my whole.
  “Are you sure about this? Have you ever had sex before?” Connor
asked concern filling his eyes.
  “I had sex with my last boyfriend, Dylan. Only once. And, I’ve never
been so sure about anything in my life, I need this, Connor.” And,
with that he swiftly slammed inside of me. I yelped out in pain, it
took my body a moment to adjust to the size. Connor took his time, he
was nice and gentle, as I was practically still a virgin. When I’d
become better adjusted he starting to push in and out, setting a
rhytmic motion. The pain subsided and the pleasure took over, I dug my
nails into Connor’s back, panting and moaning as he took me.
  Never in a million years did I think I’d be having sex with my brother.
  Never in a million years did I think I’d be enjoying it this much either.
  “Harder,” I managed to gasp out inbetween my howls of pleasure.
Connor didn’t need to hear that twice, he began to thrust into me hard
and faster, and I felt the pressure in my body build. I was so – so
close.
  One final swift thrust did it, and I was sent sputtering over my edge.
  I screamed in ectasy, as Connor continued to thrust into me. He
didn’t stop, making my orgasm that much more intense.
  He let out a soft groan and before I knew it he was cumming too. He
stopped panting, not taking his penis out of me until he was sure
every last drop of cum was out.
  “Jesus, Laine,” Connor laughed laying next to me, “you scream like a
banshee.”
  I gasped smacking Connor in the chest, “shut up!”
  “Do you regret that? Do you feel bad?” Connor asked instantly turning somber.
  I crawled on top of him, positioning his semi-hard cock against my
entrance, “do I regret this?” I asked, as he slid into me – much
easier this time.
  I heard him let out a groan as I began to ride him, “I don’t regret
this one single bit.” I began to grind against him harder, moaning in
pleasure.
  “I don’t think I will ever regret this.”

  And, I didn’t. Connor and I fucked until we were sore, fucked like
we were never going to see each other again.
  I’m pretty sure this wouldn’t be the last time, but just in case I
fucked him as hard as I could, in hopes he wouldn’t forget about me
when he went away to college.

  I was sixteen years old when I realized I didn’t care if Connor saw
me naked, or I him, I loved him. And, this kind of love wasn’t
something to be ashamed of.

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