After reading Jim’s first three stories about “Creating a Hot Wife” I decided my side needed to be told.

First of all, pretty much all of what Jim has said is true. We were and still are good friends. We had and have a great family. Our mutual Faith was and still is important to us. Our sex life had become very predicable and therefore not very erotic, just loving and kind. Alex entered my world in a way I never expected, dreamed of or really wanted…I think. He did however change the trajectory of my marriage and because of that I want to speak to actual wives that might relate to where I was in my marriage.

First of all, I’m very glad we chose this path. I’m very happy I met Alex. It was really fun while it lasted and I believe I can say that for Jim as well. I changed, well we both changed. That is the important part. I don’t think the affair would’ve ever happened if Alex had not started to come on to me, but especially if Jim had not given me his complete permission to pursue it. I wish more women could have this opportunity.

It was not easy starting off. I was scared that Jim wasn’t really serious in his permissiveness and that this would ruin our marriage. I struggled with the self imposed guilt of giving myself to another man. I worried what others might think, especially my family should they ever discover it. And I often worried if I was really that desirable to a such an attractive man, ten years younger than me!

Jim helped me get through all that…and that really made me love him in a new deeper way. I have few regrets and lots of smiles looking back.

Here is the one big lesson we both learned… Erotic sex needs a component of something new, something naughty, something dangerous, something “illegal” or something outrageous.

It just does and I don’t think anyone can really get around that fact.

There are other types of good legitimate sex. There’s procreative sex, deep bonding sex, comfortable maintenance sex, stress releasing sex, playful sex, and make up sex…to name just a few. But none of that is quite in the category of white hot erotic sex. I didn’t really want to admit that because in doing so it felt like it made the sex Jim and I shared for twenty years seem rather second rate. It also took me awhile to realize that the human psyche needs eroticism like a body needs vitamins. Ignore that at your own peril and maybe the destruction of your own marriage.

Thankfully Jim and I worked through this together. We discovered eroticism is simply eroticism no matter the trigger and that sharing that intense feeling together was all that mattered. That realization freed us to fantasize with abandonment and without guilt.

If you haven’t read his first three stories yet, then stop now and go read them before going on. They are very important. Especially read story number two. It isn’t rated as high as his first and last but really is to me the most important story. It shows exactly how we made the transition out of traditional sex and into adventuresome sex. But as you read that middle story you need to realize one thing that Jim didn’t make very clear… I was very aware of what he was doing and on-board throughout his sex talk with me. Was it a type of seduction? No! Maybe. But it was what I needed and wanted. I loved it and continued to encourage him as we progressed into deeper fantasies. I also learned a new type of control over Jim. Looking back, those “fantasy sessions” were the very best part of the affair with Alex. I purposely allowed the advances of Alex to continue largely because it was so hot to share with Jim. Girls… I’m talking white hot vibrating shaking orgasmic love making WITH MY HUSBAND! And it just kept getting better for months, much better than what I was experiencing with Alex.

So go read his stories!

Now… Let’s begin telling about all the fun I had.

I believe we all need to be wanted, desired, adored… And that is especially true for women. Our husbands can possibly provide a whole bunch of that but often can not, at least in the various ways we want it. Alex did it for me deeply at a very important time in my life. It stabilized me and fulfilled something inside that is hard to describe. It would take another story.

I took my first new job twenty years into our marriage because our children were largely grown, almost maintenance free, and I was getting bored. I needed to get out, do something for myself, start a new life. Through the help of a friend I somehow landed a job with a rather upscale and famous company. I was thrilled even though I would initially be working 12-8am. There was something about the night shift that was interesting. It felt totally like starting something for me, alone, away from the humdrum of normal jobs. I loved it! The facility was huge and very artistically upscale. The atmosphere from the beginning made me want to dress better, look better and act better. Within a year it led me to a prestigious position directly under one of the company VPs that allowed me to host international representatives, use my linguistic skills and new found sexiness.

And then there was Alex. My first boss. I interviewed with him and from the very first encounter felt something. Although I would never admit it at that time, there was a lot about Alex that excited me. He was attractive, handsome, and in great shape. But it was the way he looked at me with those lingering damn eyes! There was a connection from the moment we met and looking back now when it’s much easier to be honest…it simply made me wet. That was something I hadn’t experienced with someone else in a very long time. It also made the subtle advances Alex made over the next few weeks and months very hard to resist.

Alex was slow, a lot slower than a guy that good looking should be. I often was uncertain if he was really coming on to me or I was just imagining it. But he seemed to check in on me more than any one else. He chose to personally train me in using our computer programs rather than use another employee. He was sooo encouraging even when I screwed up. And he looked at me with those soft inviting eyes that continued to make me moist, so much so I had to make sure I wore a pad every nite!

I responded by getting my nails done, by styling my hair better, by starting to wear perfume again, jewelry, and shopping for new clothes. Alex noticed and complimented me with every new thing I did. It always made me blush and he definitely noticed that too! Blushing was all he needed as a signal to continue the seduction that I thought I didn’t want, or shouldn’t want, but in reality craved. The attention escalated over the coming months. We spent all our breaks and lunch periods together. We gradually advanced through the initial kisses to deeply erotic petting while finding new places of solitude to play. It was more exciting than I can describe in a few words. It was completely and deliciously irresistible. I am so glad I got to experience each exquisite rendezvous.

Early on is when Jim noticed. Damn. I guess I wasn’t really hiding these changes very well…probably because I somehow never expected him to catch on. Stupid, I know but I wasn’t trying to conceal anything. I was just caught up in the newness of it all while maintaining a rational type of denial in my conscious mind. Reality crashed in when Jim asked me what the hell was going on. I couldn’t lie about it but I could pretend it was no big deal. That didn’t really work. My attraction to Alex was simply too obvious and that shook Jim. I really feared we were in trouble with our marriage for the very first time and it was all my fault.

When Jim returned from his little walk and told me he wasn’t going to make me stop but rather wanted me to pursue it, that he even wanted me to have sex with Alex, it shocked me and became the most psychologically challenging thought I had ever considered. I vehemently resisted the very idea. Looking back however, my thoughts were rarely monolithic. There was a small component in the idea of sex with Alex that was exciting, liberating, and outrageously erotic. Boy did I try to suppress that! Didn’t work. It might have worked, I might have never turned that corner had it not been for Jim who so magically was massaging my clit while we talked about it all. I blame this whole thing on my clit!! When we both finally “came” intensely I knew the big mountain of resistance and denial inside me was starting to melt. I knew a big part of me wanted this and would do it. I knew Alex wanted it and I now knew Jim did too. Right or wrong, we both stepped through that orgasmic door with Alex. Things were going to be different. That discussion in bed concluded as I cried pretty hard. Crying was important partly because it released “the past” and partly because it was welcoming the exciting new unknown.

Looking back it was just a lot of fun for all three of us. I had two very intense lovers now. The outrageousness of that never left me as I was experiencing sex like I never knew it.

Here’s one of the most important and long lasting effects of the affair… I fell in love with cocks like I never had before and certainly never would have without Alex. They became an intense erotic trigger during my fantasy sessions with Jim, way before I saw Alex’s beautiful luscious thing. I still love cocks of all types and I’m so grateful for that transformation. Few women ever get there. It would’ve never happened for me without Alex and without Jim’s imagery.

I learned to really love playing with Alex. He had a nice house and pool area and lying out there in the sun sharing drinks and getting naked was simply devine. There’s something about slowly losing your clothes in a hypnotic way in front of a new appreciative man! And he was so naturally shy that getting him naked in a only semi seclusive backyard where discovery was quite possible was always fun. Maybe that’s why the cock thing really got ensconced in my erotism. I just loved finally, ever so slowly, pulling his underwear off and watching his cock spring out! It was simply beautiful. He learned to give me pretty good oral and I usually made him do that first… because once really turned on, I found it incredibly fun teasing him, slowly seductively licking his balls and shaft, bringing him soooo close and then denying him… and denying a guy like that was a new found skill for me. How did I never come to understand the complete power I could have over a man like that in my 20 years of marriage?

I would do that torture for ever, well until he literally howled and begged me to let him cum like some little boy! No one had ever done that to him before. The unbelievable appreciation he had for my cock love was very very gratifying and with it I knew…I owned him. I’m pretty sure only the most highly paid escorts really know how to use this technique to keep their clients coming back! Think about that ladies!

Those experiences led to a very new thing for me. I learned to love the taste of cum by almost always letting him cum in my mouth! Cum is really an easily acquired taste. It was for me who once could almost gag at the smell and taste. The secret was being really turned on first. Hence he had to go down on me until I was ready. But when I was there, once I was vibrating with erotic intensity…cum tasted incredible! I had done that a couple times for Jim but both of us felt very uncomfortable with it as it ran counter to our religious dogma. That ruined the eroticism and without that…cum is crappy! But with Alex it was white hot and sucking him off definitely sent him to an erotic place he had rarely been before. I loved that! So I started swallowing every time and soon did acquire a real taste for his cock nectar! Seriously. Once you get used to it and once it gets pinned as an erotic trigger with all the fun associations, you will want, maybe even need, to do it every time. And one of those first associations was this… I was enjoying doing something for Alex that I rarely did for Jim. The wrongness of that was really hot and when I realized that, I played with and expanded those feelings. I now feel sympathy for women that never get there. They completely miss out on some deeply erotic enjoyment and more importantly miss out on the power it gives them. Maybe we all need an Alex to get there.

Before I ever saw it on video, I discovered I liked cum to collect and pool it in my mouth, savor it, show it to Alex, (sometimes even gargle it which killed him), and if he was still turned on, swap it back and forth in our mouths. Girls… That might sound really gross but once you really get there with your guy… Damn… he’s not going anywhere else! Trust me. You can even teach your guy to love the taste too. I know. I got Alex there and I got Jim there too. No man was probably as resistive to tasting cum as Jim was. But how I transformed him is definitely another fun story!

There is a type of control you gain over your guy when you “humble him” with your attention to his cock and balls. I will write a story on this. What I learned during this affair, the emergence of a man’s craving for “cock adoration” in both Alex and Jim was simply amazing! It felt like a huge discovery at the time and I often wondered how many women ever understand how important that attention is to a man? If I ever did a seminar with women about sexuality, it would largely be about how deeply a man’s genitals are tied to his psyche. It’s different for men than it is for women. Very different. Ladies… If you want to turn things around in your marriage, gain new control, and have a bunch of fun in the process, humble him with your attention to his cock and balls! They really are his jewels and the key to your control.

Ok. I could go on with stories. The affair was pretty intense for about six months. Alex ended up really wanting me as a wife. He just craved much more than our pool side play or spending an occasional night or weekend together. Times with him alone, being all his for a night or more was indescribably thrilling…and there is another story right here about that feeling. It’s simply life changing for a married woman to have such pleasures and all that brings many changes that don’t include “lawyers.” I’m talking about changes in you as a self actualized woman. Wow. I could really go off on a tangent here! The thoughts I have about writing down my insights are getting more appealing.

Alpha Jim-turned submissive-was very encouraging for me to have these over-nights with Alex and he claimed it was “exquisitely excruciating” thinking about me while I was spending nights with Alex. I’m not kidding. It was initially difficult to understand why it was so erotic for him, fun but confusing actually. However Jim’s adoration for me was simply sky high during it all. Few women ever experience that. He literally worshipped and served me… Cleaned the house, did the laundry, did all the shopping and cooking, bought bags of cool clothes for me to try out at home and then took back what I didn’t want. He did anything I asked. Incredible huh? And then loved watching me get prepped for Alex. He even loved twizzing my vagina! I mean, what man loves making his woman’s genitals look that good for another man?? He was all smiles greeting me when I got home and always wanted to give me oral after an evening or night with Alex. Reciprocation was rarely the thing for him. Instead I discovered he especially liked it when I ordered him to eat me out, clean me up and then loved it even more when I would refuse to accommodate him, but instead just curled up and fell asleep. Did that make any sense at the time? Nope. It was pretty far out and sometimes seemed cruel. However the more I did it the more Jim loved it. I didn’t understand the psychology of dominance and submission until years later but at the time I have to admit I came to enjoy the power I had over him especially when I finally realized that this was his erotic trigger…my control over him. I guess you had to be there to appreciate how well this worked for both of us.

Ladies… Your man is likely to develop this type of submissive enjoyment. Study this issue. He might love you more deeply than you ever imagine for that. I believe there is a huge, stunningly huge, dynamic in sexuality that very few women ever discover and I believe it is only attained by learning how to train your guy through “cock and balls attention!” You see… Some of you probably thought Jim was seducing me in his story number two. In reality I seduced him to become my sexual slave who worshiped everything about me. What a trip!

Was it ever tempting to leave Jim for Alex? Absolutely and I loved getting to experience that possibility. It was powerfully fun feeling the “Alex attraction,” that intense desire he had for me. It was fun at times playing with my thoughts imagining just going with them and moving in with him. It was just so outrageous and I know I’m using that word too much but that is just what it was. Outrageous and delicious! And that’s a very fun feeling for a gal almost 40 years old.

In reality, Alex was not Jim in almost every way. Jim is a very unusual man. Strong, trustworthy, funny, and the best lover and conversationalist I’ve ever known…so leaving him was never a real consideration. I always knew how lucky I was to have his adoration. It was just fun feeling the freedom I had to actually move in with Alex if I wanted to. I had options, serious options for the first time since I married Jim. You learn a lot about yourself, things you would never know, without really having “options.” It was a very important growth period for me.

I realized Alex was purely “new relationship energy” and that type of thing never lasts forever. It’s best to keep that in mind ladies…if you can. I’m so grateful I did.

Alex wanted more. He wanted to own me. That would’ve been the death of our fun and I knew it. Plus there were little annoying things about Alex that constantly reminded me why I loved Jim so much. Those little references enriched my marriage in ways that never would have occurred without this affair. It made me feel so lucky.

Here’s a secret most psychologists know but rarely share. Once forgiveness is attained, affairs often enrich a marriage. The key is the new found reference points. Fantasies are almost always better than their realities. And the grass is rarely greener on the other side of the fence. I think we all deserve a chance to learn those truths. And as for me, I don’t want to share my life with a man who hasn’t experienced and learned that.

So we broke up, off and on, for the next six months. In the end Alex hooked up with another pretty lady on his shift and eventually did marry her. She needed him. I was glad for them both and it only hurt a little. Well maybe more than a little. But during that final six months something else, something very important happened with Jim and I.

About five months into the affair, I started feeling the imbalance of all the action being only on my side. Yea, Jim and I shared it pretty intensely during our fantasy sessions but I had a growing sense it would be more healthy if the actual experiences were more mutual. I had no idea how that might happen. I had a few girl friends at work that needed a guy in their lives but that never seemed right. Maybe it was the potential jealousy that would provoke. Plus Jim was very resistant to even consider dating another woman while being a married man. That was basically his stereotype of a “creepy guy.” Loved him for that.

But still… I started wishing he had a woman that could do for him what Alex was doing for me. Fantasizing about watching Jim fuck another woman was sometimes strangely erotic, not always, but enough for me to at least touch how Jim was feeling about me. Maybe I envied the intensity of his feelings. I often felt it was very much deeper than what I was feeling for Alex. I don’t know. Sexuality is definitely the type of thing where the more you know about it, the more you realize how much you don’t know. That’s one of the coolest things about sex.

Ladies… My prayer for you is that you find the courage to step outside the fears we all have about marriage and sexuality. There simply are so many rich things to experience in that “great unknown.” It’s not nearly as scary once you are into it vs how you feel just considering an affair like this. Just take your guy along for the ride. He will thank you for it.

Ok. You never know what the “tide might bring in.”

One day we went out for dinner with a couple that were becoming new friends. She was a very beautiful woman, a little too beautiful, and a wife that was the top diamond salesperson in Orlando. That should tell you a lot! He was a decorated former Navy Seal (with the longest cock I had ever seen!) After enough drinks were disposed over the meal it all started to come out…they had been swingers for years, regularly attended a local nude beach, and they thought our story was intensely hot! (I hope Jim gets to tell you about the crazy things those two did together!)

After several such dinners, and them becoming our pseudo mentors, we actually crossed that “line” and played a few times with them. We also smoked some pot with them (our very first experience with herb) and laughed until our stomach muscles ached! Eventually they invited us to explore this incredible swing club they were attending and were actually taking their two daughters to as well! (Ages in the low 20’s.) It was a life changing night with 93 young people, 21-45ish, in a small three bedroom house, crowded standing room only, very intimate and sexy! Outrageously fun. (There I go again!)

Entering this new Lifestyle became one of the most important things we ever did. The clubs were literally “sex laboratories” that produced rapid sexual healing Jim and I had never seen in our years of counseling. Wait till you hear the stories about what real swing clubs are like, what it’s like to have had sex with literally hundreds of wonderful people and making countless lifelong friends. There are a lot of false impressions about swinging. The predominate reality of the Lifestyle is this. It is absolutely a female controlled environment. Women dominate and almost always learn to love it more than their men will. They will come back even when their guys are too tired! I found few exceptions to this rule. I think it’s time for the truth to be told. But I’ll leave that up to Jim. I’ll tag along and chime in occasionally. Please leave your comments below. I’d love to hear from you!

Stay tuned!