After the night my father molested me that first time, it was easier to keep my sanity than you might think. Sure, at first I was a wreck, throwing out my sheets, avoiding everybody, jamming my desk chair under my door knob each night and then not being able to sleep anyway. My father is actually the one who made it easier on me, by completely pretending nothing had happened. He treated me with mere chaste and fatherly affection; if anything, he touched me even less than before as if he was aware that my reaction might give away some new fear or loathing. My mother thought I was going through some particularly annoying phase of teen-aged angst and she let me know she didn’t have the patience for it. So, I had to at least pretend to be normal, even though inside my 13 year old body, everything had changed.

Still, I tried my best. I spent a lot of time with my friends; especially my best friend Shannon. Before the night of my first kiss, our entire lives had revolved around boys; where to meet them, what to wear around them, how to make them like us, etc. It felt different after that night but I wouldn’t let it show since I was determined to get my life back to the way it was. Nobody was going to know I wasn’t as innocent as I’d been.

So, one of the things boys our age liked to do was play “Dare”. They only ever wanted to play with *mature* girls, and for the most part they didn’t think Shannon or I fit the bill. For me, it was a simple matter of the neighborhood boys being aware of my strict and scary mother. For Shannon, it was her body type. Don’t get me wrong, they liked her perfect angel face, her big brown eyes, and the straight dark hair that she wore almost to her butt (I was soooo jealous; stupid shoulder-length curls). But she was only about 5’0” with tiny, delicate bone structure and NO tits. In short, she looked like a beautiful little kid, even though she was a whole year older than me. Lucky for her, she had the confidence that made her one of the most popular girls in our grade; that was how she’d still had three guys to kiss her to my mere one. Two, if you counted my Dad, but of course I wasn’t going to tell her that.

Anyway, we were desperate to prove ourselves; or I had been before that night. The two boys we liked best were Donnie and Joe; they were cute, they were best friends, and they lived right near Shannon’s house; it was all way too convenient to pass up. On a particular Saturday we were sitting with them on their front porch. It was cold outside but we didn’t have our jackets on because we’d dressed with care and we wanted them to see our outfits. I’d borrowed a tight blue long sleeved t-shirt with a red heart across the chest and matched it with a red and blue plaid skirt; Shannon’s skirt was brown corduroy and her shirt had a sunflower on it. The outfit showed my young, slender curves and both boys stared hard at my shirt as if they were trying to wish it away. Their excited eyes climbed my curvy legs, which of course I kept demurely closed. But the cold air caused my nipples to poke out under the shirt and I didn’t bother to cover up. I looked at them directly, and deep inside I was wondering if they could give me those feelings that my father had.

They seemed to sense a change in me, and it got us invited in the house for the first time, under the guise of getting us in out of the cold. Shannon whispered nervously in my ear, practically bouncing with excitement, but I was concentrating on a wet feeling in my cotton bikini panties. They took us into Donnie’s bedroom and shut the door behind us.

Donnie, who was actually too short for my taste and kind of rude, was the more outgoing of the two, and he took charge right away. His friend Joe was cuter (I liked his dark hair and eyes) but shy, and I think it was envy that made Donnie constantly put him on the spot.

“Do you guys even know HOW to play Dare??” Donnie started right away, a mocking smirk on his face as he looked from one to the other of us. I tore my gaze from Joe’s long fingers and frowned at Donnie.

“oh please, we‘ve probably played more than you guys” Shannon’s voice was bored, lofty, and full of shit.

“Well then let’s skip the boring stuff …forget the games,” Donnie turned that mean smirk onto his friend. “C’mon Shannon, let’s leave Joe and Tara in here…I’m SURE Joe wants to be alone with her…on the bed.”
Joe looked shocked; we all were. Donnie grabbed Shannon’s wrist and tugged her towards the door. “Have fun you guys”, he taunted as he left, and Joe cursed. Shannon had time to give me a mildly panicked look over her shoulder and then the door shut behind them. Joe jumped away from me, pacing in front of the bed. “Can you believe that guy?? He is such a jerk, why does he have to act like that??”

On and on he complained and paced, while I sat on the bed watching him. It was obvious Joe was a lot more innocent than I thought; his nervousness was palpable. I got bored and laid back on the bed…his eyes slid over my body in this new and interesting position…my skirt had ridden up a bit on my thighs, my shirt lifting to show the creamy white skin of my tight tummy. Hoping to move things along, I pretended to stretch so I could arch my back and make the view even more enticing. Joe’s eyes watched every movement I made but he didn’t come any closer. I started to get annoyed and I got up to leave.

He stepped in front of me, and inwardly I smiled. “Where are you going?”

“Nothing’s happening, I might as well go home,” I sounded irritated and since he hadn’t moved I gave him a light push in order to move past.

Playfully he pushed me back. I squealed and we had ourselves a shoving match, which finally ended with him pushing me on the bed and jumping on top of me. I looked up at him, enjoying his boyishly pretty face, thinking this was right and good, I was going to kiss a nice boy my age. He leaned down and put his lips on mine…umm except he was kissing my entire mouth and chin too. It was sloppy and my excitement dimmed in response…I reached up and took hold of his chin, taking control of the kiss best I could, gently showing him how I’d been taught…oh, he liked that. His hands made an agonizingly slow journey over my t-shirt, and I noticed they shook a little when he finally touched my soft round tits.

And Yesssssss this was going well now, the kiss was gentler if still sloppy, and his hands bravely descended only to start sliding back up, pushing my shirt over my bra so he could stare in adoration. He squeezed my tits hard and I winced, my brow creasing slightly. In my mind, I remembered my father’s expert touch, such a stark contrast to the way Joe was now inexplicably rubbing my tits up and down fast and rough, sucking at my neck and making little whimpering sounds. I could feel his hardness against me and I let him put my hand on top of it, over his jeans. I was dying to see it; I wanted him to stick it up my skirt and rub it against me the way my father had but I didn’t dare ask him. I realized that Joe was as innocent as I’d been before my father had gotten to me. Disappointed and mindful of my reputation, I disentangled myself and left him as unfulfilled as I was.

That night I slept over Shannon’s house so we could stay up all night gossiping about what we’d done. She told me it had gone much better for her. Donnie had made his moves confidently, with decent kissing and circling his fingers over her nipples, even sliding his hand down her panties to rub her small pussy and then putting her little hand down his pants to return the favor.

“You touched it??” I was very interested. We were lying next to each other on her full size bed wearing long t-shirts over our panties. I rolled onto my stomach and looked down at her; she was playing with her long, lovely hair, restlessly opening and closing her legs, a smile on her face as she recalled her experience. I twirled one of my blond curls around my finger. “Did you see it?”

“Yea I touched it” she giggled. “the head was all slimy or something but it felt nice. I didn’t look at it but it felt pretty fat! Maybe 3 inches thick! He made me rub it up and down and then he did it himself”

“Wow!” I was impressed…and turned on. “But when he…when he put his hand down your pants. You didn’t feel like…really, really good?” I asked carefully; I was dying to know if he’d made her feel what my Dad had made me feel.

“You mean did I cum?” her brown eyes were calm on mine. I blushed really red, feeling stupid.

“You’ve…cum…before?” this was all news to me.

This time, she blushed. “Noo, but I know that‘s what‘s supposed to happen. My sister told me; they rub you and then you feel really good. ” She gave me a wicked look. “Too bad we didn’t know about that when we used to try stuff together.”

Okay. This is a good time to tell you that my friends and I used to make out, from the time we were 8 years old, until we started actually hooking up with guys at 13 and 14. There were four of us: me, Shannon, Nicole, and Susan, and whenever at least two of us got together, we’d take turns. One would pretend to be the guy; usually an aggressive guy who would tug off the other’s clothes and rub and touch and kiss. Sometimes we would both get naked and just roll around together and lay on each other. But we had no idea what to do with each other’s bodies, we just touched the parts that we knew guys liked to touch and it felt really good.

But…I knew something about it now. I swallowed hard, thinking I could make Shannon feel really good. And maybe…maybe then she’d do it for me…

“Shannon…” I whispered, looking down at her and thinking for some reason that she was SO pretty. I loved her SO much.

“What?” her voice was all breathy and light; I could tell she was horny too…I thought up a game that would allow us to “play” without being open about what we were really doing; timidly I put a hand on her tummy over her shirt and felt her stop breathing for a second.

“When Donnie kissed you…did it he do it like this??” I leaned over her and put my small lips on hers; she tasted sweet like pink gum. I sucked her tiny tongue into my mouth, gently releasing and chasing it into hers…she slid her arms around me and kissed me back, tugging me closer so my tits pressed on her flat chest. I lifted up after a bit and we were both breathing hard.

“No! that was…I mean, did Joe teach you that? Show me again, I want to learn,” I kissed her again and then I tugged at her t-shirt. “can I take this off you?” I tried not to sound nervous but my heart was beating so fast. “I want…I wanna show you what Joe did to me.” She nodded like she couldn’t speak and she sat up and lifted her arms…I tugged the big t-shirt off, leaving her in a pair of lace edged white cotton panties that were innocent except for the wet spot in the middle.

“You have to take yours off too,” she spoke softly, surprising me. “So I can try it after.”

Oh, this was exactly what I’d wanted from Joe. If I could get it from her I wouldn’t have to think about…I shook my head a little, remembering again my father’s hands, his…mouth. My stomach flipped and I slid my shirt off, showing off my pink bikini panties.

“These are pretty,” Shannon ran her little fingers lightly over the edges of the panties, making me wish she’d slide her hand inside. She didn’t but she did reach up and cup my tits in her hands; even 32B tits were more than a handful for my petite friend. “Wish mine were like these…God, Tara, your body is so sexy!” She gently squeezed and played with me, and the pleasure made me arch my back. It took a moment before I realized I was slowly humping my best friend. I leaned down and kissed her again, fingers playing her pretty brown nipples since there wasn’t much else there, but they did harden for me and I lowered my mouth to one. Without thinking, I was copying my father’s moves, licking, sucking, biting exactly as he’d done, fondling here and there. But this we’d done before and I wondered what Shannon would think of my next move. Part of me feared she would be weirded out and tell me to stop. I wanted it too much not to try.

I started sliding my finger under the band of her panties, something I knew she liked, around the top, and then the openings near her inner thighs, my fingers so close to her soft pussy. She lifted her hips; I don’t think she even realized she was straining towards me. I tugged them down and off and she pulled at me, thinking to put me on top of her for more kissing and fondling. I resisted…I pushed her thighs open, rubbing them as I lowered myself to her pussy. I had a moment of ‘am I really gonna kiss where she pees from?” and I sniffed cautiously…I heard her say “what are you doing?” and then I pressed my tongue against her, licking a straight line up that nearly bare slit.

I heard her moan and felt her relax against the bed as I struggled to remember what my Dad had done…I found that little nub at the top and tongued it as best I could….her little hands were suddenly tangled into my curls, her breathing ragged, and I instantly felt more confident. My mind was a mess of dirty thoughts; only a few weeks ago I had never imagined I would ever put my mouth on the place where somebody pees from but I was licking and sucking at Shannon and doing my father proud whether I meant to or not. I was horny enough that the thought only made me hotter. Perversely I lifted my head and listened to her whine, as she tried to shove me down again.

My voice was as throaty as my little girl voice could get. “I have to check if your intact…” I was out of control, and I didn’t care, shoving a finger inside her and she cried out in pain as I pushed against her hymen without breaking it. I took my finger out and waited for her to look at me before I licked my finger clean.

I climbed on top of her, playing with her clit, kissing her mouth despite faint protests; I didn’t care if she thought it was gross. I lifted up and looked into her eyes; they were dark with passion and a little fear and I liked it.

My finger was still busy between her legs. “You do whatever I say…and I promise I’ll make you feel better than you’ve ever felt…” I heard his words, the ones that’d horrified me not long ago, from my own lips and I felt powerful and disgustingly filthy. She whimpered and I licked at her nipples. “Say yes…say yes” I told her, lapping at her nonexistent tits.

“Yes,” she whispered meekly. I was too turned on by now, I started pressing myself against her, trying to rub my wet crotch against hers but it didn’t work right; she didn‘t have the equipment I wanted and then she spoke again, “Do you want me to…lick you?”

I stared at her…she was so light, it was easy to roll us over so that she was on top. I put her hands on my panties and she pulled them off me quickly. Naked, I pressed our young bodies together, breathing in the scent of our mingled sweat. I guided her mouth to my smallish, perfectly round left breast and she sucked like a baby. I stroked my hands into her hair; tugged at it. She struggled to lift her head and after a moment, I let her.

“Wait. I know a way we can do it at the same time,” she told me…she explained the 69 position to me, as she’d seen it while watching scrambled porn with the same sister who’d told her about cumming. Without warning I flipped her onto her back again and climbed on top, my face once again in her crotch. I lowered my hips and she guided me until I felt her tongue…oh God right where my Dad’s had been. It was so much smaller, weaker, but by then I was soaking wet and ready…it wasn’t going to take much. Feverishly I licked her clit…she started moaning right onto mine and it was too much for me. My legs were shaking, I stopped licking, whimpering helplessly as I pressed against her little face, felt her struggle beneath me for the moment that she couldn’t breathe, and I came harder this time now that I knew what was happening, my sweet release even more intense…Finished, I lifted off her and attacked her clit with my tongue at the same time, relentless until she clawed at my thighs, crying out loud enough for her mother to hear.

Sharon’s mother was climbing up the stairs, calling for Shannon while our sweaty naked little bodies were still pressed together. We scrambled back into our t-shirts, not bothering with the panties, guiltily pulling the sheet over ourselves and giggling.

“Lights out you two” her mother said with a wry smile; probably thinking she knew what we were up to but actually not having a clue.

I shouldn’t have worried about Shannon being scared away; after that night she wanted to do that and more with me all the time. Instead of meeting boys she looked for places we could be alone to play with each other. It only changed me more…and don’t think my Dad didn’t notice.

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