To begin to understand what you would allow yourself to do, you have to understand what most foster homes are like. People often think it’s a good thing to be taken from a bad parent, whether there is abuse or neglect but what they don’t think too much about is the people who take in foster kids. Now that’s not to say that there are not good homes out there because I guess there has to be, but the majority of the homes I ever went to were either also abusive or neglectful as my biological mom’s home.

I guess what I want you to understand is that at a minimum most foster homes are there simply to collect a check. Typically they pay little attention to you and look to spend as little money on you as is possible. You’re A#1 store for shopping is the Goodwill store or Salvation Army store. You are fed the least expensive food money can buy and of course are signed up for every government food plan in existence. Typically you spend most of your time in your room, with another foster kid and it is survival of the fittest for which kid is in charge. Your interaction with the parent is as little as possible they don’t want to be bothered as long as they get their government check that month.

The reason I take the time to explain this to you is I want you to understand how different the new family I was assigned to felt, and even as it continued to grow and change for the worse, I was so starved for attention and affection I accepted what was going on and even participated. So I guess now that I have explained the typical I now need to tell you my story.

From the minute I moved into this home, I mean the moment the social worker drove off it felt very different. My new foster dad and mom each gave me a long hug and welcomed me to their home. My eyes were wide and in shock that they were behaving like this. I was then taken to my new room, that was very bare and basic with a bed, dresser and closet. The bed had no linens and there were no curtains on the window.

That only lasted a few minutes before my foster mom unpacked my duffle bag with all my worldly possessions onto and into the dresser then took me by the hand and said, “Let’s go shopping.” Next thing I know we were in the car on the way to the mall. This mall did not contain Goodwill or Salvation army, instead it had Macy’s and other fancy department stores.

I was stunned as my foster mother took me all through the stores purchasing me brand new things for my room, asking my opinion as she purchased item after item for my room. I found her taste to be a little bit young for me, but this was all brand new things. How could I complain. We picked curtains, and sheets and bed spread and carpet and lamps and so many nice things to decorate my room. For my taste they were way too pink and too girly but again I was too stunned to disagree. We spent I think more then five hours picking out my new things and even after returning home I could not believe how much my new foster parents seemed to care about me. My foster mother actually took out the brand new sheets and washed them before helping me make up my new room. While she was doing this and cooking dinner my new foster dad was hanging the curtains and other decorations for my room. I can not describe my emotions any further then to say I was stunned at what was going on.

My overwhelming experience continued into dinner and after. My new parents were not arguing or talking about things I knew nothing about but were both asking me questions about my life, about my real mom, my past homes, boy friends, friends and school teachers and anything I wanted to talk about. Other then when I had been in trouble in the past can I ever remember two adults talking to me and actually listening to what I had to say.

Once dinner was over and the sheets were washed, we went into my room and made up my bed and I could not believe how pretty my new room looked. Yes it was a little too pink, and a few years too young for my age, but it was my room, picked out by my new foster mom and me.

We then went into the den and my foster dad put on soft beautiful music I later learned was called classical symphony music and foster mom lit some candles while he opened a bottle of champagne. We sat down on the sofa together one of them on each side of me and sipped the champagne out of these very beautiful round glasses and kept talking. They toasted to our new family and I truly thought I was in a dream and probably talked more that evening then I had in years.

My foster mother then got me some fresh fluffy towels, showed me where the bathroom was got me shampoo and conditioner and got me out a shirt of my foster dads and some of my panties and told me to put those on after my shower. I did as I was told and when I came out of the bathroom I saw my foster mother there waiting, dressed also in one of his shirts looking also fresh from the shower, I can only guess from another bathroom. I also heard loud singing and water running confirming another bathroom. Apparently my foster dad followed my foster mom into the shower

My foster mother then walked me over to a chair in front of my dresser and had me sit down and began to brush my hair. Other then when I was little playing dress up with other little girls, can I remember someone brushing my hair but she did for quite a while and it felt wonderful and made me very sleepy along with the champagne we had been drinking. Soon my foster dad was out of the shower and in a robe and slippers and in my room with my foster mom and me. They were both telling me how beautiful I was and that they hoped we would all be a happy family together.

Now what you might think was the first weird thing to happen happened next but I have to admit it only seemed slightly odd to me and instead made me feel different then I ever had. My foster dad went around the home locking the doors and turning out lights and my foster mom walked me to my nice new bed. She pulled back my covers and I got in bed, she then got in next to me. After turning out all the lights foster dad then came to the other side of the bed and also got in under the covers. Both of them put an arm around me and told me good night.

Now I have to tell you as a foster kid in other homes, I have had guys touch me in ways that made me feel dirty and weird. I have shared a bed with other foster girls before and been afraid to be killed in my sleep but what to think of my new foster parents getting into my new bed with me and each gently putting and arm over me was just unimaginable. I was stunned. It took me a little while to get to sleep, this all so overwhelming but after a while with the wine and the excitement of the day I drifted off to sleep.

I woke the next morning with both of them still in bed on either side of me, she was stroking my hair from my face leaning on her elbow smiling down at me. They both quickly wished me good morning and asked me how I slept which I answered, “fine.” She then asked me did I need to go to the bathroom which I nodded to and she took my hand and walked me to the bathroom letting me go in alone and do the deed. When I came out there was nice music on and she was cooking breakfast in the kitchen.

Over breakfast she told me she wanted to ask me a question without hurting my feelings and she asked me was I attached to any of my clothes. I cant say I had any particular favorites and I told her this and she asked me could they get me new clothes and get rid of my old clothing. I nodded in agreement and as soon as we finished breakfast she told me to go get cleaned up to go shopping again.

We again went to the fancy mall and to the nice stores and shopped like crazy. I found her taste different then mine but said nothing as she bought me an interesting mix. Some of the items looked young for me, like clothing a girl much younger then me would wear and some things were grown up like a woman would wear, but I tried on what she asked me to and never turned down anything that fit okay. A lot of what we bought was underthings some very cute and immature and some very adult and lacey. But it was all brand new, not previously warn and not from goodwill or salvation army so I was in heaven.

We had lunch at the mall and then shopped more that afternoon. We bought so many things that I actually got warn out. We even bought me new shoes, again either shoes that looked young for me in a younger girl style or very high heels. Unless I thought something looked ugly, I didn’t question any of it. We again had a full day of shopping and went home in time for dinner. Foster dad was home before us and had began cooking. Foster mom told me he was quite the cook and suggested I take a shower before dinner, she picked out one of the younger nighties and panties for me to put on after but I did not question it and went and took a warm shower.

She was right, foster dad was a good cook and we had a nice dinner, I felt nice having taken the shower with clean clothes on and we had wine with dinner. Funny I guess I just thought it cool that they let me drink wine and never questioned that its supposed to be for adults only. Foster mom told funny stories about the shopping about me trying on things and some of the things that didn’t fit. After dinner we all helped clean up the dishes and load the dishwasher then we went into the den and foster dad put on dance music. We all danced together and laughed and again I felt like I was in heaven. I wish I could describe for you in words the dancing, but that’s hard to do. It was like kids dance today in clubs, with lots of body contact and grinding and we all did that together. None of it felt funny to me at all in fact it all felt so good that these two people, my foster parents were not only paying attention to me but that I had been there whole focus the last two days. At one point they even started kissing each other like romantic kisses to where I stopped dancing. When they stopped kissing they laughed at me and each came over to me and kissed me on the mouth. Both of them kissed me like what I thought was a romantic kiss until they just giggled when the kisses stopped. It felt a little odd but I was getting so much attention and it was fun. We laughed, danced, kissed and drank wine that evening until time for bed.

I cant say I was really surprised when bed time came, the three of us got into my bed again one of them on each side of me. They then did some more heavy kissing while leaning over me and then took turns kissing me like that some too. It again felt a little weird but how could I not like the attention I was getting, the government check had not even arrived yet. It settled down after a while and we all went to sleep.

The next morning my foster mom again picked out my clothing, nice jeans, some of the grown up thong panties and a nice button down blouse. Over breakfast they reminded me my social worker was stopping by to check on how things were going and they just politely reminded me that the less that was said the better things would be.

I was happier then I had ever been, what would I say to cause any trouble. NOTHING. The social worker came and interviewed us, I was careful not to talk too much, but I think my face gave away that I was very happy. Normally I don’t smile very much and I was feeling so good about things she kept telling me I was smiling. The visit didn’t last too long and it was over.

We had a nice lunch with more wine to celebrate the visit going well. After lunch we went outside and kicked a soccer ball around, then after a while we went and changed into swim suits and went swimming in the pool. That was a lot of fun we played with a beach ball and splashed each other and that kinda thing. When we got out and dried off and went inside they took me into my room and foster mom suggested they give me a massage. Now I can’t say other then rubbing shoulders for a few minutes with friends I had ever had a massage before. The two of them were rubbing my body, all over. She started on my back neck and shoulders and he started on my feet. As she worked down he worked up massaging my back, arms and legs. Somehow they both ended up at my bottom at the same time. All four of their hands pulling and rubbing so firm and thoroughly, until my swimsuit was all in my crack. Then they rolled me over and started over. Him again massaging my feet and her at my shoulders and neck. When she got to my chest she asked me if she could “rub here” and I felt my face turn red but I nodded. I didn’t realize she was going to take off the top but she did. It felt good for her to massage there but also kinda weird. She took her time and was thorough. She started on the outside of each boob and worked to the center the nipple. I closed my eyes so I wouldn’t be so embarrassed. It felt good and also naughty. My nipples felt really good and I think she somehow knew because she kept rubbing there and gently squeezing and pulling. As she was doing this his hands were on my hips and then to my surprise I felt his big warm hand go firmly on top between my legs on my bikini bottoms. I jerked and started to say something but she quickly went, “Shhhhhh, just relax.” I was nervous and unsure but did as I was told. I felt his knees push my feet apart and that let his hand rub lower. It was so warm and firm on me and he just moved slow and gentle up and down. I felt so naughty and wasn’t sure what to think or do just every once in a while she’d say, “Shhhh, it’s okay.” So I just laid still and let them massage. Then it suddenly stopped and they left me there and went to fix dinner. I laid there a while a little overwhelmed. While I was resting she came in and picked out my outfit for the evening. This time it was one of the more grown up looking lacey outfits top and panties. She didn’t say anything just picked it out setting it where she had the last few days and I went and took my shower.

We again had a very nice dinner and again with a glass of wine. They both told me how happy they were that I was part of their family and how beautiful I looked in the outfit. We then settled onto the sofa and listened to music. They again sat on opposite sides from me and kissed over me then kissed me and we kissed more that evening then ever before. This time I learned to open my mouth with kisses and they put their tongues in my mouth which I later found out is called French kissing. I found it kinda fun and we all seemed to take turns kissing each other. Them together, then him and me and her and me it was crazy. After this went on a while he got up and took her hand, she grabbed mine and we went to my room.

We all got into the bed but this time he laid on top of her. They were kissing each other hard and breathing hard and I felt a little out of place and was going to leave except she held my hand so I couldn’t. I watched and felt them jostle around until he was laying square on top of her with her legs around him and then they both began to groan in a rhythm. Their breathing became heavier and eventually became groans and I was a little scared he was hurting her. It went on a while till he made this awful face, a look I wont forget, he seemed to strain several times then he just collapsed onto her, and they both laughed and hugged. I was glad it was over and that they were both laughing. Then he got off her, rolled over me and laid on the other side of me again. We cuddled like that a few minutes and he soon was snoring.

The next morning everything seemed like any other day, this time I had a leotard set out for me so I showered and put it on. At breakfast I found out I was going with my foster mom to the gym. She said it was very important for a girl to keep her figure and her flexibility. We were going to a class called yoga which is stretching. After breakfast we headed out after giving foster dad kisses goodbye.

It was fun in the gym all the ladies knew my foster mom and they were very nice to me and welcoming. I got hugs from each one. They introduced themselves but I hardly remembered names as there were 8 of them. The workout was hard and I struggled but they told me I did well and that I would get better. The leotard I wore was white and as I got sweaty in it I was a little embarrassed as I thought my body showed through it some. It was kinda weird but at the end of class each lady again gave me a long hug.

We then went to lunch, which my foster mom did not bring anything for me to put on top of my leotard. We ate in a restaurant where there were a lot of men in suits. I felt kinda weird like a lot of them were starring at me but she told me to relax and if they wanted to stare to let them. I was relieved when we left. We then went home. Foster dad wasn’t home so foster mom and I sat there together on the sofa listening to music. She cuddled and held me tight until after a while she rubbed my boob through the leotard. After a while we were kissing and stuff too and before long I felt her hand go firm between my legs again. I was so embarrassed but it felt sooo good there. We French kissed more that afternoon then any other and she taught me to rub her boobs too. I felt a little embarrassed doing it but she told me it felt really nice and asked me to so I did.

She and I then fixed dinner together and I really liked learning to cook. She did have me go shower and change before dinner and had me dress in one of the little girl pj sets. After dinner we hung out in the den again dancing and singing and cuddling. While cuddling to a soft song she asked me if I was happy there with the two of them. I told her I was very happy and she smiled. She then asked if I remembered what her and dad did last night. I nodded letting her know I did and she then asked me did I think I could do that with him. She told me that at my age, it would hurt and that it might even hurt the first many times I did it. But she told me that they both loved me very much and that it was something important that families share. And they wanted to share that with me.

We went back to kissing for a while before she asked about it again. She asked did I think I could be a big girl and do it. I was scared and unsure. She then told me if I said yes, I could not change my mind, that I would have to be with my foster dad till he snored like last night. No matter how much it hurt and how much I wanted it to stop, if I said yes now I could not stop. We kissed some more and he told me over and over that he loved me very much. When she asked me again I nodded that I would do it. Shortly after saying yes we went into my bedroom.

I’m not sure who did it or when but when we got into my bed I noticed the sheets were fresh sheets and white not my normal pink. Before getting into bed my foster dad undressed me taking off the pj top and bottoms, leaving me naked. He laid over me like he had her yesterday and kissed me while she rubbed my hair. I felt his knees push between my legs until I had to open them to let him between them. To my shock I felt something poke between my legs at my private place. I looked up at him nervous and he smiled back at me a soft smile. I then felt a hard pressure down there. It felt like something hard was pushing up against me and it hurt some. I felt it push and push and then let out a yelp when I felt myself seem to open some, stretching and pinching me down there badly.

I felt her stroking my hair, whispering to me “that’s a girl, let him inside you its okay.” And the pressure and the pinch and the stretch hurt more. I felt myself let out a cry as again I felt myself really stretch there. OMG it hurt. I felt him slide his arms under my back until his hands held me from under on my shoulders then again it hurt like crazy down there as it felt like he was pushing something inside me. I must have started crying then because I felt her soft fingers wipe tears off my cheeks as I felt the pain cut into me more and more between my legs. “That’s a girl, let him inside you” she whispered. I felt myself jerk as I felt a really tight knot in my stomach, as I felt him hit something inside me. He held really still for a few moments, and I felt this harsh pressure inside. They each took turns French kissing me softly, then she took my hands and I heard her say to him one word before I felt the worst feeling I have ever felt, “NOW.”

It felt like someone stuck a knife up inside me and I heard myself cry out in pain, and suddenly felt him much deeper inside me. I felt my arms and legs shaking and both of them stroking my hair telling me over and over, “its okay, its okay.” Then I felt him push, and push again, and push again as I felt something touch me so far and deep inside me I can not really put it n words. “Try to relax, let him inside you, “ I heard her whisper in my ear. “Good girl, your doing so good,” I heard him say to me. As I felt more and more of his body move inside my tummy.

Then again I felt myself jerk as I felt a terrible pressure inside me like someone hit me inside. I heard him tell her, “I bottomed out at her cervix.” She asked him a question, “Are you fully inside”? To which he answered, “No.” I felt him move inside me in and out each time in I would jerk as he would hit me inside. It felt like someone was punching me in the stomach from inside. “Careful, “ I heard her caution him. “She’s small go easy,” she cautioned again. But he kept moving in and out of me down there.

I groaned when I felt an odd pressure inside. “There it is!” I heard him say. “What”? she asked. “Her cervical opening.” I heard him answer. “You cant penetrate that.” She said. “Yes you can,” he replied, “it’s rare but possible.” “You’ll kill her,” she protested. “Nooo don’t over react. Its rare but special.” He stated. I felt him keep moving and pressing and I thought the pressure was going to drive me insane. But he kept moving and pushing to where I know I was sobbing. “Careful,” she cautioned again and again. “It’s okay baby, your such a good girl, try to relax, try to let him deep, deep inside you,” she said to me softly.

“She’s so small and tight,” he said to her. Then to my horror I felt a horrible pain and I know I let out a loud scream. I felt my body go hot then cold and sweat as I later learned is called a heat flash and I felt the worst pain inside me I ever thought I could ever feel. “I’m in,” he stated, “Gawd she’s so, so tight.” My eyes were so full of tears I could hardly see but his face had that same look, so intense. I felt him push hard against me and felt like he was pushing a knife up far inside me but as he did a few more times I felt his tummy rest against mine. He then let out a huge sigh and said softly, “I’m fully inside her.” I felt her kiss my cheeks and forehead and lips gently and tell me, “Good girl, your such a brave good girl.”

I saw him bite his lower lip hard and I felt him move inside me again in and out and after the fifth time I was stunned to feel the strangest feeling I ever have, something squirt inside me. Later I would learn this was him cumming inside me. He jerked and moved several more times and each time I felt the odd feeling of a warm wetness inside. My body was so wet with sweat and I hurt so damn much between my legs but it only lasted a little longer before I felt him stop moving. “OMG,” he said, “this is the most wonderful feeling in the world.” And he laid with all of his weight on me. He felt so heavy and he was wet with sweat too. She kept stroking my hair and telling me, “Good girl, you did sooo good.”

He laid there a while till he almost seemed to be falling asleep when she poked him with her finger and said, “You need to get her rest too.” He looked at her a little aggravated and suddenly I felt him pull away from me, which also hurt by the way. I felt like he was pulling me from the inside out, until his thing I later learned is referred to as his cock, pulled out of me. I felt lots of wetness between my legs and he got on the other side of me from her and they both put their arms around me. “You did really well Angel,” he told me before kissing my cheek gently.

I can hardly put in words for you how I felt. I hurt so badly between my legs like worse then the worst fight I had ever had with another girl. I felt wetness seem to keep running from inside me and even that didn’t feel good. I was so sore all over including my back, and hips and legs and hurt inside and between my legs like someone had hit me there with a hammer. But they were both there holding and comforting me and telling me how good I had been. I hardly knew what to think or feel. I ended up feeling very light headed and next thing I knew I woke up sitting in a cold bath. With them both starring at me looking worried.

So as I close this chapter, I have to tell you that this is just the beginning of the changes in my life with this new foster family. You might ask me, how would you not hate people who hurt you down there, inside like that, but I can only answer you by asking you if you can imagine how different it feels to have two people listen to every word you speak and spend every minute of the last few days with me. This after growing up with a biological mom who cared more about an injection of drugs then about her own daughter. And other foster parents who barely said or listened to two words I ever had to say to them. For the first time in my life I did not feel alone and scared to sleep, I felt loved and safe even though I felt like I had been run over by a truck.

What do you think you would have felt? To be continued!

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