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Everyone wants to be happy! It’s not just a daily goal, it’s a lifetime one. But do we really know what it means to be happy? And do we have unrealistic expectations of happiness? Energy healer, personal development coach, and workshop facilitator Lia Bernardo gives us a clear picture on what happiness really is.
What is it really?
When we think of happiness, most of us imagine running through a field barefoot with the wind in our hair, laughing, and maybe holding a kite… with music playing in the background. Blame Hollywood and fashion magazines for this scene. But when you look into your heart, what exactly makes you really and truly happy? It’s got to take a lot more than a kite, bare feet, and grass.
“Happiness is a state of being,” says Lia. “I would the define happiness as the constant presence of joy that one feels in the heart, where there is union with the body, mind, and spirit. Look at a person and you can immediately tell if they are happy. They are light, glowing, easy to be with, and just generally at ease with themselves.”
So how do you keep that constant joy alive? Lia says, that depends on your way of thinking and your attitude. “Happiness is when one sees the positive side and focuses on that as opposed to the negative. To put it simply, a positive and happy person will focus on the solution, whereas a negative and unhappy person will focus and dwell on the problem.”
How do you keep happiness inside you?
It’s so easy to know you are happy when you’re surrounded by friends, family, or your favorite things. Or after meeting your celebrity crush and having a photo taken with him. But after those events, what happens? These are highlights in life. Not the usual. What’s important is to keep the joy burning inside you even during the most boring, frustrating, or even unhappy moments.
The best way to do this is to “notice your reactions to things, people, and events in your life,” says Lia. “When a negative incident happens and you find yourself saying: What am I supposed to learn from this? Or why am I attracting this? Or what do I need to address to stop this from happening repeatedly? Then you address negativity in your life by focusing on the lesson, the solution, and the reason it has happened to you. As such, you take responsibility for everything that happens in your life. An unhappy person will blame another, blame the situation, blame the circumstances but never try to grow from it because it is always someone else’s fault.”
Lia also says it is important to take a good look at your relationships. “Your relationships are the most objective and most accurate measure of where you are at in your life right now,” she says. “If you are still blaming your parents, your spouse, or your friend for your misery, then this is an indication that there is work to be done on yourself.”
Related: Early risers may be thinner, happier
How can you achieve happiness?
“The simplest secret to happiness is to learn to love yourself fully and completely,” shares Lia. “There are no short cuts, no person can make you happy, no job can make you happy, no home or car can make you happy. You create your own happiness. The only way to happiness is to fully accept, trust, and love yourself. In short, be the person you want everyone else to be.”
How exactly do you do that? Most of us look outward for happiness. I will be happy when I get that new dress, that new house, that new boyfriend, that new haircut. But notice how after you do get it, the happiness is fleeting. Lia says, “Focus on you. This is not selfish, this is growth. When you focus on yourself and ‘fix’ yourself, things around will automatically get fixed. If you are focusing on outside forces and other people, you will simply get frustrated and add more unhappiness into your life. Work on yourself.”
Related: 10 ways to get a positive outlook
What about unhappiness and sorrow?
Ah, a life without any sorrow or grief. Don’t we all wish for that? But that would be impossible. “Sorrow, grief, anger, sadness and so on are simply emotions that ought not to be judged but felt,” explains Lia. “How will you feel happy if you don’t know what sadness feels like? A loss in your life will create feelings of grief—this is a necessary part of losing someone you love. Being happy does not mean not feeling sadness ever, but rather, acknowledging and allowing sadness and addressing this as an opportunity for growth, or simply to just feel sadness at that particular moment because that is simply what you are feeling right now. These are emotions that one can never be without. However, a person who is truly happy can manage these emotions.”
So where do you think you rate on the happiness meter? How much work do you need to do in order to find true happiness? It’s not as easy as filling your life with the things you want, but in the long run, working on yourself and your attitude in life to find true happiness is more satisfying and definitely more lasting.

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This april it was my birthday and after going fishing with my dad my girlfriend came over to see me. She had bought me a sex dot to dot book and a pocket karma sutra book for my birthday which made me giggle and turnt me on. I hopped in the shower because i had been out all day then went back to my room wearing nothibg but a towel n some boxers. I went back to me room and before i knew it i my girlfriend was stood next to my bed and undressinf herself. As she removed more clothes i could feel my dick get hard as i realisedshe had bought a brand new pair of red panties and a beautiful red bra to match. The best bit by far was the stockings and black suspender set she wore which made me go crazy. She lay beside me and asked if i wanted a massage which obviously i did! She poured the oil onto my back and knelt on my back while she massage my shoulders and back. Usually i love back rubs but this time i was far to busy trying to turn over so i could grab her pussy and tits. I managed to get omto my back and pulled her pussy up to my face . I began to kiss her panties and could feel her wet lips through the fabric. I moved the material and started licking her shaven pussy and sweey clit. I then got up and was licking and biting her nipples which were hard but absolutely perfect. I lay back on the bed and she did the same so we were facing eachother and touching ourselves. I grabbedy phone and videoed her rubbing her clit and fingering herself. I could feel my dick swelling swelling in my boxers and soon she was sucking my head and nibbling my shaft. My cock pumped and swelled in her mouth and i could feel myself getting mkre and more turnt on. After a little while i used a vibrating cock ring to massage her now wet clit. Once she was moaning and breathing heavily i put the ring on and became to lick and suck her sweet clit. She was really wet by now so i knelt back and slid my dick into her. We started fucking and i got faster and faster, egged on by her moaning and breathing. I could feel her nail scrathcing my back and the warm pain made me crazy. As she did this she bit my neck and chest and stroked my biceps and bit them too. The pain of her teeth digging into my flesh made me ho crazy and by now i was fucking her harder and faster with the cock ring turnt on. She could feel the vibrations through my hard penis inside her and her eyes rolled back into her head and she moaned deeply inbetween trying to catch her breath. After a while i withdrew myself and came all over her tummy and perfect tits. Once we had cleaned up we decided to have a little break and lay therw chatting. However within a few minutes we found ourselves masturbating each other again. I began to fuck her again as i felt her tight pussy muscles sqeeze my hard cock. She let out a paeticularly loud groan . Thinking i had caused her pain i whispered ” are you ok?” she lookes at me and moaned ” you hit my cervix!!!” with a big smile across her face. she enjoyed that more than anything and we carried on. Once again i withdrew and came on her tits as she carried on rubbing her clit and moaning.. Her pussy was still very wet and again within a few minutes i found myself fingering her and licking her beautiful lips and flicking her clit with my tounge. We carried on masturbating and watching eachother and as she came inbetween my fingers i released my third load all over her. Her clit and lips were soakes and my dick was so hard. After, she told me i had made her come five times!! Three of which were through penetration! She is brilliant when it comes to sex and gives perfect blowjobs and has such a great body but this was something else entirely! She later described the sex as mind blowing ! And proceeded to tell her friends who were all very impressed by the amount of orgasms. a few days later she came over again when my mate was over and we all ended up on my bed again naked while we all masturbated ourselves and she sucked us and i licked her out again. She is always very horny and is up for anything kinky. A few days before she made me come whilsrt we were sat on the sofa watching tv and my mum was eating tea in the other room. She gave me great head and swallowed my load again. She came over at the end of the week and we shared a bath and wanked eachother again. I used the vibrating ring again on her clit while i licked her and applied tingle lube to her. We then both lay back on the sofa and masturbated with the lube while watchin a movie together and glancing at the other person rubbing and wanking themselves from time to time until once again we came. I licked her clit and spelt things with my tounge like ‘i love you’ and ‘your pussy is perfect’. She really responded to this with moans and deep breaths and when i whispered what i had spelt she giggled and continued to moan. All the sessions above happened last week. It was a very VERY good week and was the best sex ive ever had. She loved it as much as i did and the four quid i spent on the ring was worth every penny!

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