The ride home in the back of a squad car was embarrassing to say the least. But I was still angry and worried Jack was going to get physical with Lindsey. I couldn’t get the image of him beating her out of my head. I could feel my blood pressure rising. The officer who dropped me off suggested that I keep my distance and not try and contact Lindsey. Jack had talked about a restraining order and going to the school while I sat handcuffed. How could I have been so stupid. I knew better, I just hoped I hadn’t sunk Lindsey future. I don’t know what would happen if this got out. If the people from Stanford found out, would they no longer accept her? I felt incredibly stupid and guilty. We arrived at my house, the officer handed me a baggy with my keys wallet and cell. The moment I got inside I called Lindsey. It went to voicemail. I texted her. No response. I texted again,

Me :I’m so sorry ! Did your dad hurt you? Say the word and I’ll come and get you:

Lindsey’s cell :this is her father! Cease and desist now and I will not contact your work and the school and tell them what a pedophile you are!:

He obviously had taken her phone. I had no way to contact Lindsey. My only hope is if Sean can get a message to her Monday at school. That evening Jake dropped Sean off on his way to the airport. I told the boys what had happened. Both were pretty upset with me, understandably. I apologize to the both of them. When Jake left I asked Sean if he could tell Lindsey to call me soon as she was able. Sean didn’t want to get involved, again understandably, but agreed to get the message to her.

That Monday I was at work when I got a text from Sean

Sean :Lindsey didn’t come to school today:

Shortly after my cell rang. It was the school. I picked up and it was the vice principal Mr Wilson. He asked me to come down when class was out and all the students had gone home. He emphasized “after all the students had gone home.” This was trouble. Mr Wilson called me at six that evening. When I arrived I was met by school security. I was escorted to the vice principals office. In there were the band teacher, the vice principal and two from the school board. They started by thanking me for all I have done for the school and the band program but then asked me about my contact with Lindsey. For the most part whey wanted to make sure nothing went on during school activities or on campus. I assured them it didn’t. And I assured them that nothing happened before she was eighteen. I took blame for the entire relationship. I told them I did nothing to nip it in the bud and let it happen, and even led Lindsey on. The band teacher looked at the vice principal. “Mr Anderson, we spoke to the other band parents, did you or did you not ask Karen Sullivan to take over certain school volunteer work to avoid contact with Lindsey? And didn’t you “ and he was cut off by one of the school board members. “That doesn’t matter, Mr Anderson from this point forward we think it would be in everyone’s best interest if you no longer set foot on school ground, or any other school ground for that matter. If you do, we will be forced to take legal action. As far as we can tell nothing illegal has taken place on school grounds. But for the sake of the schools image this is the best solution” I just nodded, asked if we were finished and was escorted off of school grounds.

I felt sick on the drive home. It couldn’t possibly get worse. I thought. Sean seemed to not want to talk to me, he was pissed obviously. He was brought before the same group during school, as were the entire orchestra, one at a time. He was embarrassed and angry, who could blame him. I cleaned up dinner, Sean didn’t help he said he had too much homework and went up stairs, shut his door and blasted his music. I sat alone washing dishes, I reached for a dry towel, I had a lump in my throat.

The next morning I pulled up to the office, when I walked in I was called into my bosses office. I never knew but Jack and My boss attended the same Catholic Church. I was let go right then and there. I was escorted to my office where I cleaned out my desk and safe. The receipt from Lindsey’s ring was right on top of my papers. On the way out I sat in the parking lot staring at the receipt. Then my phone rang. As if I couldn’t get any lower, it was my ex.

“You fucking pig! I knew it! Well I hope you get” I just hung up. I started my car and drove home slowly. I pulled in the back and sat in my car a little longer. On my way inside my phone rang again, my ex. Reluctantly I picked up. “I’m on my way to the school to pick up Sean! He was in a fight at school over you being a pedophile!” Sean had been cornered by two football players, and Sean is almost as big as I am and not the type to back down. He ended up suspended but not the other boys. My ex was going to have him stay with her during his two week suspension.

Two weeks came and went. Sean decided he didn’t want to go back to that school. He also was going to move in with his mother. And still not a word about or from Lindsey with the exception of Karen coming by to let me know she was okay. And that her aunt and uncle had moved in and were keeping her under tight restrictions. She didn’t even have access to a land line. I felt terrible, this was all my doing. I could have let her down gently. But instead I may have ruined her life.

It was Christmas break and Sean had officially enrolled in another school. And still no word from Lindsey, the ring I bought her sat on my kitchen counter for two weeks, then eventually my room. It was Christmas Eve and I was locking it in my safe. I don’t know why but that felt like shutting the door on that chapter in my life. The hurt was still raw as the first day, not helping was the infection I got from the taser barbs were a constant reminder. The one in my neck was the worst, every morning when I shaved it was staring back at me in the mirror. They had healed now but the scars were permanent.

New Year’s Eve I went to the gym, only to come out to find my windshield bashed in and the word “pedophile” carved in the hood with something sharp. I spent New Years in my garage sanding my hood to bare metal and applying primer.

Things just continued to roll down hill until my niece called me up. Katie and I had been close since she was born. My brother moved to Arizona about the time Sean was born and I’ve only talked to Katie in the phone since. She was twenty five now. She had went to law school and passed her bar. And now was going to work for an environmental law firm in San Francisco. She wanted to know if she could stay with me until she got on her feet. The house had grown so cold and lonely after the holidays it became unbearable. So of course I said yes. In February she arrived with my brother in a big moving van. Obviously they both knew what went down with Lindsey, and my big brother read me the riot act. But they were the only supportive people I had through this.

Katie had grown into a gorgeous young woman. She had always been a pretty little thing. But to see her all grown up was uplifting. She moved in and it was like old times. Things began to look up, I had been living on my substantial savings and investments but technically still unemployed. All my free time allowed me to finish my Camaro project. Katie gave me shit all the time about me not making it more environmentally friendly, she didn’t buy the fact I put all late model parts in it, I went with an LS7 with all the same emission reduction of a new corvette, well sort of. The rest of it came out fantastic. I was getting offers on it every time I took it out, I had stopped taking the Chevelle out after the third time being vandalized. I had even had to start going to a gym thirty minutes farther away. The town didn’t know the Camaro as mine, so nobody messed with it.

In March Karen came by to see how I was doing, we talked about the last performance of the orchestra, As usual Lindsey brought the house down. But Karen admitted there was something wrong, she was technically perfect, but Karen has seen her at her best, and it wasn’t there. I don’t know why the hell Karen would say something like that to me. I’m sure she knew what was coming next. The next evening I went by Lindsey’s house in Katie’s car, I didn’t want to be obvious in my Camaro, I wanted to reason with her father, maybe if I brought the ring he would make understand that I was serious, and as far as I knew Catholics are very strict about sex being between a man and wife, “I would be making an honest woman out of her. I arrived just as Jack was getting home from work. The second he got out of the car he was yelling, “BACK UP! Three hundred yards from this house! That’s as close as you come!” I was never formally served a restraining order so I called his bluff. I pleaded with him to talk, he picked up his cell and called the police. I figured I had about ten minutes. He told the officers that a violent stalker just showed up and he was afraid for his daughters safety. “Please! Give me five minutes to explain!” “Don’t bother Mr Anderson! I heard the whole story from Lindsey! She may not see how you manipulated her but I do!” I took another couple steps so I didn’t have to yell. “It’s not like that Jack! I fell in love with your daughter, I didn’t mean to. It just happened, but it DID happen! God damn it! I bought the ring five months ago! I’m going to marry your daughter! You have to understand, this is real what we have!” Just then I herd the squad car blip his siren. And the red and blue lights reflecting all around. “Put your hands on your head and step back.” I did as told. But these two had it out for me, I didn’t even feel the prongs enter before I was on the ground in agony as the first wave hit me. I laid still while they put the cuffs on me. And for no reason I was zapped again. “What the fuck?” I yelled. And in their book that’s resisting arrest. I kind of remember the first boot to the face but nothing after that. I woke up a couple hours later handcuffed to an emergency room bed. I didn’t get what that cops problem was till I read the report, Officer O’Brien, Jacks nephew.

I spent the night, nothing serious other than some stitches and a concussion. In court I was officially served my restraining order for the O’Brien’s house, but Lindsey would not sign one for her as an adult. A glimmer of hope. The judge didn’t come out and say it but pressing charges against the officers that assaulted me would be unwise considering the police report had ma trying to attack Jack and resisting arrest, the only witnesses were Jack and the officers involved.

I ended up getting Katie’s car impounded during the ordeal. I tried to go see Lindsey after school, but her Uncle was driving her now, they must have taken her car as punishment.

In April Katie and I were grocery shopping, she had just got a substantial pay raise and we were going to celebrate with a BBQ, just the two of us. Now Katie always hung on my arm, even as a little girl, that was just her thing, it didn’t mean any more than I was her favorite uncle. We were picking out a bottle of red wine so go with the steaks. She put in the cart and gave me a peck on the cheek. Just then I saw Lindsey. She looked to be with her aunt. The look on her face was that of deviation. It didn’t make sense at first, she turned and ran. It wasn’t till then I realized Katie was on my arm again, it was so common now I didn’t notice. I ran out side and she was nowhere to be found. Katie asked what was wrong. I told her. “I love you uncle Dale, but that was probably for the best.” She said pulling me back in the store. I felt sick. My chest felt like it was caving in. We finished with no sign of Lindsey or her aunt. The rest of the night was a blur. The only thing on my mind was the hurt I saw in her eyes. I had no way to contact her other than show up at her house but Katie stopped me. I didn’t sleep a wink that night. When I got up to get the paper, there was a paper bag on my step. I opened it, it was the remote to my gate and the spare key. I sat out on the porch swing till Katie came looking for me an hour later. I tried to tell her what was wrong but I couldn’t form the words. I went inside and put the key and remote in my safe, right next to the ring.

Two weeks later, Officer O’Brien showed up with a signed restraining order, Signed by Lindsey.i was devastated. Her cousin made it clear I was being watched. As he left, he said,”Lindsey’s moving on Mr Anderson. You should too.” I fell into a deep depression, nothing could pull me out of it. Not even Katie taking me deep sea fishing, or any of the countless activities she planned for us. I feigned smiles for my selfie happy niece, but it took all I had to do so. I needed to move on, I put the Chevelle up for sale at a muscle car auction. It didn’t take long to sell the Chevelle, the guy who bought it planned on getting it repainted, with out explaining I said that was probably a good idea. By the end of the summer we had moved. I had sold the Chevelle for three times what I had invested in it. Even with a hood in shop primer. Katie suggested that I pursue automotive customization as a change in careers.

Graduation night Katie was out with some friends from work. I decided to sneak in graduation to at least get a look at Lindsey. The crowds at the graduations are always crazy, so there was little chance of me getting spotted if I just did the hat and glasses and walked, it was only three quarters of a mile from my place so the walk was nothing. I got there and the band was already playing, but the first thing I noticed was Lindsey didn’t have first chair. That was her spot, She earned it, how could they take it? The boy who had first chair couldn’t hold a candle to the Lindsey I know, he even took what should have been her solo. I maneuvered to where I could see Lindsey. She had an emotionless expression as she played. I tried to get a better look, but just then I spotted Officer O’Brien with Lindsey’s father. They were headed my way. I decided not to risk it. Unsurprisingly Lindsey was valedictorian. Her speech how ever well written was delivered by a clearly broken girl. The last dagger was when I over heard one of the mothers say to another, “Poor girl, did you hear she was molested by one of the band parents? So sad, just sad. “ there is no words to described the guilt that took hold right then. I was convinced I led her harmless crush get out of hand, subconsciously, for my own desire. I made up my mind. I wouldn’t go after her. I would only do more harm.

That summer I made up my mind to try and move on, and for the most part I did. I began small doing a few jobs out of my new garage, I entered the Camaro in various muscle car events. And I was making so many parts I hired help. A collage dropout who was a wiz with cars and had an attention to detail.

I ended up sinking most of my savings into an old abandoned car dealership from the sixties that had been left in disrepair and by the first of the year, Dale Anderson Motor Sports was born. Word about the work I had done on the Camaro had spread, the thing was a beast on the drag strip and the road corse. I had designed the suspension my self for no other reason than to keep my mind off of Lindsey. But the more events I showed the car off at the busier I got.

Life was back on track, but no matter how busy I got and how distracted, nothing could fill the enormous hole in the middle of me. On the out side I was a phenomenal success, bit every night I pulled Lindsey ring out of my safe just to look at it. I kept telling my self I would sell it. But never had the courage.

Three more years had passed, Katie had moved into her own place and got married. Business was booming. Between my online catalog and car shows I had little time to turn wrenches, but I had built a fantastic crew. I spent most of my days buried in paperwork, not how I wanted to spend my days but it left no time for idle thoughts of Lindsey that seemed to come out of nowhere.

One early summer day Karen stopped by, I had half a mind to avoid her, maybe have one of my staff say I was unavailable. But maybe she wouldn’t bring up Lindsey, after all, our sons were very close still. We sat and talked about our boys for some time, it was noon and I took her out to lunch. But at lunch she brought up Lindsey. It hurt to hear about her, but at the same time I needed to know. “Did you hear Lindsey just graduated from Stanford? Yah, I was invited, she was looking good and well adjusted after well, you know.” I just sat silent, hearing Karen talk about her made everything so vivid, the pain that had lost its edge was sharp again. I wanted to tell her to stop, but I couldn’t. “And would believe it! She got some big fancy job at a tech company before she even finished school. And top this, they gave her a retainer of like a couple hundred grand!” The next month things got hard to deal with. Any hope I had of Lindsey finding me after graduation was gone, like her cousin said, she really did move on, she had a fantastic career laid out before her what she always wanted.

My shop foreman Andy called me out to the shop one day, we had just taken on a new project. It was a nineteen sixty seven Chevelle. But Andy called me over to look at something when he put it up on the lift. It came in only for a color change, the new owner wanted it to match an old color that could be seen under the hood. It was a shitty respray job and they only painted the outside and not even the door jams. The old color was a factory color the same as the one I had. Andy brought me under to look at the suspension. “Look familiar boss?” He asked. This was my car! Andy thought someone was making cheap ripoffs of my designs. But they were just my first attempts. “And they want to go back to that blue?” I asked. “Yah boss. Some chick bought it if you can believe it. And she wants to spend big money to make it right.”

It was nice to see that old car, but still painful. I never told Andy the story behind that car. It took two weeks to strip down and respray the Chevelle, I didn’t go in the shop the entire time it was there, usually I inspect every car my name is put on, but this one I let Andy do. A week after the car was finished and paid for the owner finally came to take it out of my site. That afternoon I was in my office going over invoices when a soft familiar but somber voice said “Hello Dale.”