Lynn’s Diary: my travels down a road of sexual exploration…
My mind is reeling; it’s hard for me to comprehend everything that happened last night. I’m lying here
in bed, stark naked, and I’m not alone. (That, in itself, is front page news for me, ever since my
divorce four years ago). Not only am I not alone, but the companions are in bed with me. (Yes, there
are two of them…)
I hardly know where to begin, as I think about how to write today’s diary entry. I look back over the
last four nights and I can’t believe the changes that have come over me. It’s almost frightening, but I
have such an overwhelming sense of excitement and fufilment. I can’t wait to see what the future will
bring.
I’m a pretty typical middle class woman in her forties. I’ve lived in a big city for many years, and was
married for a long time to a man who had a beautiful daughter, Erica, from a prior marriage. Although
she’s not really a relation (biologically speaking) I raised her like a daughter. Erica is now almost
finished with college. Since she moved away to school (four hundred miles away), and since my
divorce three years ago, I’ve been pretty lonely.
All that began to change four nights ago. I was so amazed at the sheer power of the release of my
pent-up sexual frustrations that I decided to keep a written record of it all. I’ve come so far in only four
days; who knows where it will end?
Before I begin writing Day Four in my sexual diary, I’ll go back and read my entries from the
beginning…
My Diary – Day One
Last night I discovered the thrill of being a first-time voyeur, even though it was an accident; I had no
intention of spying on them. Erica’s boyfriend, Dave, wanted to spend time with her every night this
week (she’s home for the holidays). With a broken down car being repaired, he’s counting on
Cameron, his room mate, for transportation. Erica and Dave spent the evening here, enjoying a
movie and a quiet night by the fire. I wanted them to have some time to themselves, so I went to bed
early. Cameron would arrive at midnight to take Dave back to their apartment in the suburbs.
Dave and Erica met at college, but he finished a year ahead of her and now he lives here in the city. I
knew they were very anxious to be alone together, but I was still surprised by what I saw. Tiptoeing
downstairs to get a drink, I looked around the corner, expecting Dave and Erica to be watching TV.
Instead, I froze in my tracks and stood in the darkened hallway, staring at them for an hour.
I’m ashamed to admit to spying on them; I don’t even want to write down what I saw. It was just a lot
of fondling and kissing, a few buttons undone and pants unzipped. They were so hot for each other
but were trying to be careful and not go too far, with me being right upstairs. They couldn’t do
anything in real privacy since they had to stay downstairs so I wouldn’t see what they were doing.
The ring of the doorbell brought me to my senses; it was Dave’s roommate, Cameron, picking him up
for the ride home. I chatted with Cameron for a few minutes as Erica and Dave made themselves
presentable in the next room. Erica said goodnight, and the two guys took off.
As I went back to my bedroom, my mind whirled with thoughts of shame, curiosity, and most of all,
passion. I was ashamed of spying on Erica, but even more ashamed that I had so enjoyed it so much.
And my sense of curiosity – this was about my reaction to meeting Cameron.
At my age, I look back and realize that when I was younger, interracial couples were much more rare
than they are now. I am mildly shocked at myself for being so aroused by my first meeting with
Cameron. He was such a handsome young man, but the fact that he was such a sexy young black
man seemed to turn me on – why?
I kept telling myself there was nothing forbidden about it, but there was no denying that his
appearance at my door had increased the wetness in my pussy, already damp and tingling from
watching the erotic wrestling of the two young lovers in my living room.
The day ended with me rubbing my clit and teasing my nipples. I brought myself to orgasm by
imagining that Cameron was in some dark corner of my bedroom, watching me from the shadows. It
felt so shameful; I had never imagined anything like that in my fantasy life before. But the sense of
shame heightened my arousal and my orgasm was the strongest I had felt in a long, long time.
Day Two
Dave and Erica were at it again last night, but they went way beyond the groping and fondling stage.
Knowing what was probably going on, I couldn’t help tiptoeing downstairs in my bathrobe, anxious for
another look. This time my pussy was already dripping even before I looked around the corner.
As I hovered at the bottom of the stairs, breathlessly watching, I saw Dave pull Erica’s panties down
and eat her pussy. Still in her short skirt, she lay spread-eagled on the sofa, clutching at the back of
his neck and squirming ecstatically until she came all over his face.
Seeing the look on Erica’s face as she forced his mouth down onto her wetness, I became even more
aware of my own intense arousal. I was reaching inside my robe and fondling my nipples; I told
myself, “I wish he was doing this to me.” I felt so ashamed when I realized that I wasn’t thinking of
Dave – I was fantasizing about Cameron!
My face flushed with shame but feeling so alive with excitement, I hurried back up to my room. I threw
off my robe and quickly rummaged through the drawer of my night stand. In the back of the drawer, I
found it: a huge black rubber dildo. I had never used it – my husband had given it to me years ago as
a joke. It was so big I never even thought about using it; it seemed so huge that I thought it would tear
me apart.
Why did the fact that this was an interracial fantasy turn me on so much? I didn’t spend any time
trying to think it through; I just imagined that Cameron had stepped out of the shadows. I pretended
that he was watching me now as I lay on the bed, naked and breathless. I slowly pushed the shaft of
my black toy into my mouth until it choked me and I sputtered wetness all over it. I was drooling down
my chin, but I didn’t wipe it off. I just kept sucking, trying in vain to take in all ten inches.
My jaw started to ache from the strain of trying to open wide for the massive shaft of my dildo. I
couldn’t come close to putting it all in my mouth, and I knew this thing would never fit in my pussy. But
I was desperate to be fucked, and I knew that just rubbing my clit and using my fingers would never
be enough tonight. I spread my legs, grabbed that monstrous shaft with both hands, and started
probing my aching cunt.
Grunting with pleasure, it took a long while for me to spread my pussy open enough to accept that
huge ten-inch rubber cock. But I found that every time I thought I had taken as much as I could take, I
just imagined Cameron’s hands on me. Somehow I managed to take another two inches, then
another two.
Before long, my body relaxed and my pussy was begging to be stretched more and more. Soon I was
ramming myself deliriously with ten inches of wet cock as my body squirmed back on forth on the
bed. I pretended that Cameron was there, watching me and loving it. I can’t remember the last time I
came so hard and so long. I heard the doorbell ring at midnight and knew that Cameron was picking
up Dave for the ride home; I fell asleep imagining Cameron holding me in his arms.
Day Three
On Day Two I had been so overcome with passion that I didn’t remain downstairs long enough to see
what happened after Dave had eaten Erica’s pussy and made her cum so hard. Last night I stayed
and saw more of the show, and I was dumbfounded at how much it turned me on. My nipples ached
and my pussy was absolutely gushing. I could feel a stream of wetness oozing down my inner thighs
as I watched them. They were swept away in a flood of passion that took me along with them.
I saw Erica slide Dave’s jeans down as he stood there, kissing her. He had already removed every
stitch of Erica’s clothing, and I blushed as I marveled at the beauty of her nakedness. I stood there,
transfixed as her hands caressed and fondled him through his boxers. I could see the outline of his
enormous cock from where I was hiding. My cheeks reddened even more when I realized how wet
my pussy was getting.
I knew I should go back upstairs and leave them alone, but I just couldn’t move. I was spellbound as I
watched Erica drop to her knees, pulling down Dave’s boxers to release Dave’s incredible cock. I
watched her lovingly fondle and lick Dave’s shaft until it was massively hard. It was at least seven
inches long, and so thick and fat.
Her hands fondled the straining muscles of Dave’s thighs as her mouth opened wide to accept his
throbbing dick. Dave’s hands gently caressed her hair and pulled her toward him. Their hands told
each other of their growing urgency, Dave wanting to fuck her mouth, Erica wanting to take in every
long, throbbing inch.
They pulled each other in, closer, faster, with muffled groans growing more and more intense. I
almost cried out as Erica increased her pace and engulfed that unbelievably thick shaft, then pulled
back, sputtering and gasping for air. She wrapped two hands around Dave’s amazing cock, her
interlocking fingers squeezing him like a tight little pussy, milking him as her saliva dripped from his
dick and drooled from her chin. The scene as Dave’s cock exploded was like something out of a
raunchy porn video.
I suddenly turned and hurried back up the stairs with my heart pounding, not believing what I had just
seen. As I reached my bedroom I tore off my robe; I couldn’t wait to get my hands on that huge
rubber dildo. Wetness already gushing from my tingling pussy, I fucked myself to a mind-shattering
orgasm as I pictured the incredible eruption of jizz that I had just seen exploding from Dave’s beautiful
cock. Erica had coaxed at least a half dozen massive spurts of thick cum from that hot slick shaft, and
he was still cumming as she sucked him clean while I hurried away in shame.
Shame, yes – but also excitement, not know what the next night would bring. I marveled at how the
night before, I had found it so difficult to get that gigantic toy into my pussy. This time I was so fucking
turned on that I just grabbed it and started reaming myself hard and deep right away. My pussy
gripped the shaft so tight, I was in heaven. My orgasm rolled and rolled over me like multiple tidal
waves.
“Fuck me Cameron… oh god, please fuck me harder!” I couldn’t believe I was saying those words to
myself as I came and came. Cameron had only met me once, for two minutes at my front door, but
now I seemed obsessed with him. I still felt shame, but even stronger than shame was my lust for
something that to me felt taboo, forbidden. And I knew it was impossible; what conceivable reason
would a handsome young kid have for being attracted to a middle-aged divorcee like me?
My lust has been growing and growing over the last three days, fueled by the increasing passion I’m
witnessing in Dave and Erica, one night after another. To make things worse, I’m being driven to
distraction by the added passion of my forbidden fantasies about Cameron. I don’t know if he excites
me because I’ve never been with a black man, or because I know that nothing will ever really happen.
I realize that these are nothing but outrageous fantasies.
All I know is that I want so badly for it to be real, that I’ve been fucking myself silly every night with
that gigantic black cock. Of course, it’s only a toy, the only sexual outlet I have available right now.
But the tighter I grip it, the wider I spread my pussy, the deeper and harder I fuck myself, the more
strongly I feel Cameron’s presence in the room with me. As I orgasm over and over every night,
whimpering his name as I cum repeatedly, I’m dying to hear his voice answer me.
Day Four
Last night was so incredible; I can’t believe the changes that have come over me in only four days.
I’m almost frightened when I imagine that I’ve gone through some doorway into a forbidden world.
Something this mind-boggling can’t be real; I’m determined to write down every detail just to be sure it
really happened.
Last night, knowing that Erica and Dave’s insatiable lust would be driving them to even greater
extremes each night, I put on my bathrobe and tiptoed downstairs. I was determined this time to stay
all the way to the end. Besides, I wanted to be there when Cameron arrived later to pick Dave up.
As I peeked around the corner, I couldn’t believe my eyes. Erica had gone beyond any sense of
keeping things low-key and quiet. The two lovers were just outright fucking each other with reckless
abandon. I was actually jealous as I saw my daughter being fucked senseless by this incredible stud
with the to-die-for seven-inch cock.
Dave went on and on for an hour, then two hours; I couldn’t believe he could do what he was doing
and keep himself from cumming as he pleasured Erica for so long. He sat on the sofa as she impaled
herself on his shaft, letting Dave suck her tits and fondle her ass as she rode him. I watched her get
on all fours and offer her ass to him, as he grabbed her by the hips and fucked her pussy from
behind. I watched her lie back in the leather easy chair with her legs in the air, putting her ankles up
on Dave’s shoulders as he pounded her.
In every position they tried, Dave gave her the fucking of her life, and I heard Erica groaning and
letting out muffled cries, biting her lip to keep from screaming as she came. And she came, and came
and came. After every orgasm, they held each other and kissed passionately as Dave caressed her
body. Her nipples were so hard, her pussy so wet I imagined I could smell her sweet musky aroma
from where I was standing.
Suddenly I realized that it wasn’t Erica’s heat and wetness that I was sensing. Without realizing it, I
had pulled open my robe and had been standing there – I don’t know how long – with my thighs
trembling and my fingers probing my own pussy. Creamy wetness streamed down my inner thighs as
my fingers went from circling to pinching to lightly spanking my clit, to deeply probing my wetness.
God, I was so fucking turned on, watching Dave make Erica cum over and over; I needed to cum
myself.
“They are so fucking sexy together, aren’t they?” I froze in shock at the sound of a man’s voice from
over my shoulder – someone was right behind me! “sshhh… it’s OK, Lynn… don’t let them know
we’re here!”
I was terrified, but the voice sounded reassuring and familiar. Forgetting that I was fully exposed in an
open bathrobe, I quickly turned around – and saw Cameron! He was standing in the hallway next to
the stairs; how long had he been there, watching?
Holding a finger up to my lips to keep me quiet, he smiled at me and waited just a bit, letting me calm
down. From the next room, we heard the raunchiest sounds I had heard yet coming from Dave and
Erica. Cameron was smiling at what we were hearing, but soon my face was burning as I realized that
he was also staring and smiling at me.
The shame I felt was not only because the scent of my pussy filled the hallway; or because I was
practically naked. I was also ashamed of the slutty, pornographic wave of images that flooded into my
mind. Here I was, a lonely woman well past the age of forty, standing here fully aroused and
unclothed, exposed – in front of a gorgeous young black man. It seemed so shameful that it made a
difference to me that he was black; but it did. I could almost picture myself in some kind of raunchy
internet porn scene, a MILF being ravaged by a young black stud. My face felt flushed and hot as I
began to wonder how big his cock might be if only I could… if only…
“It’s OK, Lynn”, Cameron interrupted my train of thought and brought me back to my senses. He
pulled the folds of my robe around me, covering me up. The sounds of lovemaking intensified in the
next room, and I realized that Dave must have made Erica cum a half dozen times by now.
Cameron tried to keep me calm and quiet and explained that he had been getting to my house a
couple of hours before midnight all week. Knowing what his roommate was likely doing with Erica, he
had been lurking outside and watching through the window. He told me that this time he had looked
past the young couple for the first time and had seen me, hiding in the shadows.
“I’m sorry if I scared you, Lynn,” he said gently, “but when I saw you open up your robe and start to…
well, I just had to get closer”.
I was amazed to hear that he had sneaked into the back door and tiptoed into the hallway behind me.
“How long have you been watching me?” I asked.
He told me it was the most exciting hour and a half he had ever spent. I looked down and saw that he
was rubbing a considerable bulge in his slacks.
“I think you’re beautiful, Lynn,” he said, and pulled at the belt of my robe. I felt as if I was in some kind
of dream, as my robe fell open and exposed me again to Cameron’s hungry stare.
We were standing in the hallway, only thirty feet from Dave and Erica. They were so wild and noisy
now as their passionate lovemaking continued, obviously convinced that no one could hear them.
Cameron was hushed, quiet, gentle; he moved excruciatingly slowly as I stood there. I was trembling,
weak-kneed, breathless. I was sure he could see my heart pounding through the flesh of my exposed
and quivering breasts.
He stood well over six feet tall, towering over me. I was dying for this huge man to have his way with
me, but my mind was whirling with the many ways that this was so forbidden, slutty and beyond my
experience. I don’t know how I managed to say it, but the next words I spoke sent me hurtling into the
unknown.
“Please take me, Cameron,” I whispered. “I want you to use me – take me – please!!”
I heard the words coming from me, but I couldn’t believe what I was saying or what was happening.
Cameron bent down to kiss me on the shoulders, not wanting to go too fast. He kissed my neck as
my robe fell away, leaving me naked there in the darkness. He kissed me on the lips, so tenderly and
deeply, and fondled my breasts as he began to work his way back down.
Kissing my neck and shoulders, he lifted my breasts up in strong but gentle hands. When he kissed
my nipples and teased their hardness with his tongue, I threw my arms around him. As he began to
suck gently and run his hands down my side to my ass and thighs, I absolutely melted in his arms.
We kissed passionately for a long while, almost forgetting the sounds coming from the other room.
Before long I was conscious of the fact that I was completely naked and Cameron was fully clothed. I
wanted to see the naked body of this young man who seemed like a Greek god to me. He gently
kissed and caressed my hair as I tugged and pulled at his shirt, his belt, and unhooked his slacks. I
tried not to seem frantic, but I was dying to see it. Yes, I’ll say it – I couldn’t help being turned on by it
– I wanted to see his stiff black cock in the grip of my small hand.
As the last of Cameron’s clothes fell to the floor, I literally gasped. I had had dreams and fantasies
about this, and he was certainly not a disappointment. The massive mushroom-shaped bulb of his
dick seemed to be as big as my fist. It didn’t matter that I was exaggerating everything out of pure
lust. To my eyes in the dim light, it seemed that I was little more than a whore, lusting after a man
who could do things to me that I couldn’t even imagine.
Seeing Cameron’s incredible huge cock literally brought me to my knees; I eagerly wrapped both
hands around his cock and pumped it to a full throbbing stiffness. My eyes watered as I opened my
mouth wide and managed to slide that beautiful crowned cock head into my mouth and slobber over
half of his pulsating girth. His hands went behind my neck as he gently probed my throat with his
amazing shaft. It was the perfect combination of the gentle lovemaking that guided his hands, and the
sense of forbidden hardcore lust that made me want more.
Soon I was lying on the stairs, legs spread wide. Cameron was between my legs, lavishing kisses on
my inner thighs as he caressed my trembling legs with his huge muscular hands. I soon realized that
Cameron was a big man in every possible way, as he showed me how incredibly long and muscular
his tongue was. I had been tongue-fucked plenty of times, but never like this. I was being probed and
stretched wide open as his mouthed sucked at the folds of my pussy lips.
My heels dug into his back; my ass lifted off the stairs; my tits were shaking, my nipples aching as my
passion boiled over. Cameron’s hands slid under me and forcefully but easily lifted my body, bringing
my pussy up to his eager mouth. I felt like I was floating, suspended above the stairs as Cameron
lifted me and plunged his tongue deep into my wetness.
I screamed as his tongue forced its way deeply into places that had never been touched like this;
waves and waves of orgasmic pleasure flowed over me as I squirmed and bucked wildly. My entire
body was trembling and writhing in pleasure, but Cameron held me tight, controlling me, using me
just the way I had asked him to.
Suddenly, I realized that I had cried out loudly as I came, and now there were no more noises coming
from the other room. Like two high school kids who had been caught making out in the back seat of a
car, we frantically gathered up our clothes and tried to hide. With nowhere else to go, we ran upstairs
and I motioned Cameron into my bedroom.
We stood there for a minute, listening to see if the two downstairs lovers had followed us. Soon, I was
so fucking turned on by the sight of Cameron’s muscular body and his pulsating cock, that I just didn’t
care whether we’d been noticed or not. I needed to get fucked. I needed to get fucked hard, and right
now.
It was clear that Cameron could have overpowered me in any way he wanted, but I found that it was
so exciting to tell him what I wanted. I had never heard myself talking to a man like this. I was in such
a state of sexual frenzy that all the foul language and urgent carnal desires came flowing out of me
like a woman possessed.
“Give me that fucking dick, that big beautiful cock,” I demanded as I got down on my knees and gave
Cameron my best efforts at a deepthroat blowjob.
“Fuck my throat – give it to me!” I was gagging, sputtering, drooling. Long streams of saliva dripped
from Cameron’s balls as I gasped for air.
After a few minutes of this, Cameron got into such a wonderful rocking motion, probing my throat
repeatedly, gently but urgently. My mouth was stretched so goddam wide, I really did feel like a
whore. I didn’t care; I just kept slurping, sucking, and gobbling his gorgeous dark meat.
I grabbed that amazing hard-muscled ass of his with both hands and bobbed my head up and down,
letting him know it was OK to force his cock into my throat deeper, faster. Every time I sputtered and
choked, I could feel his shaft harden and swell even more.
I couldn’t believe it when I started feeling those gigantic balls grazing my chin with each stroke. I was
actually deepthroating him, taking ten inches of the most amazing cock I could ever imagine! I felt the
fire in my pussy and knew that I had to feel every fucking inch of that monstrous shaft deep inside my
aching cunt. I started commanding him to take me.
“Oh shit, Cameron, fuck me – right now, fuck me! Stretch my hot cunt with that beautiful black dick!”
I didn’t care what he thought of the way I was talking; I couldn’t stop myself. Cameron picked me up
and tossed me onto the bed and immediately pinned me there, forcing my arms up over my head
against the pillows. I thrust my nipples up toward him, my breasts heaving with desire; I was helpless
and under his control.
On my back, legs in the air, I was totally being manipulated by him. He gripped my thighs and forced
me so wide open, I didn’t even know I could stretch that wide. And I watched, awestruck, as that
monstrously hard chocolate-colored cock slowly disappeared up inside my pink pussy. He pulled
back, almost all the way out, then gave another hard push, another inch deeper, again and again.
“Oh god, yes” I was moaning deliriously now. “Fuck me – deeper – harder – come on now, fuck me!
FUCK ME!! Oh fuck yes… yess… yesss!” I couldn’t believe how I was behaving; I was screaming
obscenities now.
“Fuck me, you goddam bastard. Oh shit, fucking shit, give it to me!! oohhh…” At last, unable to
articulate any words, I just kept screaming. Cameron’s animalistic groans urged me on and I felt
myself exploding.
With an unbelievable mind-blowing rush, my orgasm washed over me, on and on as Cameron’s
thrusts grew even more urgent and deep; I felt myself floating, being tossed about in an ocean of
pleasure that seemed endless. I had never experienced anything like a two-minute orgasm.
Then I realized that there really was a true nirvana of sexual arousal – it was like nothing I had ever
imagined. Cameron’s cock was plunging furiously into my fully stretched pussy. The combination of
sounds and sights, as he seemed to literally double the speed of his thrusts and begin to cum,
propelled me into a new universe of orgiastic pleasure. I had already been cumming and cumming for
at least two full minutes; now my body went into a trance-like state where explosive waves of sexual
release were the only sensations my mind could understand.
Cameron’s load of cum erupted inside of me, so hard that I could feel the pumping motions at the
base of his huge dick. I literally saw stars; the room actually seemed to spin, and I felt as if I was
floating three feet off the bed. I couldn’t tell where my spent, weak, trembling flesh stopped and
Cameron’s forcefully aggressive hardness began. Our bodies melted together, and at last – who
knows how long it lasted – I actually passed out.
In my unconscious state, the few seconds that went by seemed like endless hours in my mind. When
I began to wake up into a foggy haze, it imagined that I had memories of an orgasm so intense that it
seemed to actually last for days, as if orgasmic pleasure was now my normal and permanent state of
being. At last, my head cleared somewhat and my heart stopped racing. The room spun back to
normal.
And there, in the doorway of my bedroom, stood Erica and Dave! They were both naked, having
hurried upstairs when they heard my orgasmic screams coming from the hallway. As Cameron had
begun to ravage me upstairs, they had opened my bedroom door just enough to do a little spying
themselves. They both looked awestruck, having just seen Cameron give me the fuck of my lifetime.
I soon realized that in the space of an hour or two, some change had come over me. I wasn’t
embarrassed or humiliated; it seemed to me that I had been set free. Somehow, not even knowing
what I had been missing all my life, I now knew that I wanted it all. I knew there were sexual delights
that I couldn’t even imagine yet, but I wanted them!
Erica and Dave sat at the foot of my bed and the four of us talked for a while. I was surprised at first
when these three young people revealed to me that they had set all this up. As it turns out, Erica had
realized I was spying from the hallway on the very first night.
Far from being upset about it, they had decided that I might feel bad, seeing them having all the fun.
So, the two of them hatched a plot to see if Cameron could seduce me. They had planned it all as a
Christmas surprise for me.
But Cameron’s seduction was not the only Christmas present Erica had in mind. She told me that she
thought that Dave himself was a gift worth sharing. My heart jumped when Erica told me that Dave
had been fucking her all night but hadn’t let himself cum yet; and she said she wanted me to finish
him off!
“Merry Christmas!” she said; she laughed and abruptly walked out and went to her own room. I was
left sitting there with two hot young men, all of us naked, sweating profusely, still massively turned on.
I found myself staring at Dave’s cock, still rock hard, and I heard him saying, “Erica wanted me to
save it for you!” I looked at Cameron, lying beside me, smiling. I reached over to fondle his balls and
begin to stroke his cock. God, it was sticky with his cum and slippery with my pussy juice – wet and
beautiful. I motioned for Dave to come to bed also, and soon I was lavishing the same attention on his
cock and balls.
I never had a threesome before last night. I couldn’t imagine myself working hard to pleasure two
cocks at once. But I soon found out that these virile young men were simply there to pleasure me. All
I had to do was offer myself up, and they would lavish so much loving attention on me that it literally
lasted until dawn. We went on making love for hours, cumming and falling asleep, then waking up to
start again.
At one point, I was on all fours being fucked from behind by Dave, tugging and squeezing at
Cameron’s balls as I let him fuck my throat. I knew I had truly passed through a doorway to a
forbidden world. I felt so alive and liberated, even as we all three eventually drained ourselves to a
state of sexual exhaustion. As the sun began to rise and create a soft landscape outside my window,
we drifted off to sleep.
My last conscious thought was to notice a marvelous sensual contrast: there were two hard, muscular
and youthful bodies on either side of me. The masculine strength of their arms and legs was entwined
among the tingling, soft feminine curves of my breasts and thighs. I was still glowing with arousal
even as darkness fell over me.
And now, the next morning, I finish my fourth diary entry. I go back to re-read everything. What a road
I’ve been traveling down over the last four days! As I head off to take a shower, I realize that I’m
making a fresh start to my life. It’s not just a new day of possibilities (I wonder to myself, “How could
Day Five be any better?”) I’m also realizing that I’ve experienced a sexual awakening, a re-birth of my
own attitudes and expectations about myself.
I’m no longer a lonely divorced woman in her forties; I’m sexually radiant and alive, excited about the
future. No matter what tomorrow brings, I know that I will never again have any sexual boundaries or
taboos. I know that I can be aroused, and can give pleasure, in the same joyous and uninhibited way
that my young lovers do. I don’t know what today, or my future will bring, but I can’t wait to find out!
Lynn

---