Some secrets should be kept to yourself. Some secrets are better explored with others. My secret fascination with being treated like a girl by men and dressing like a girl for men straddles that fine line at times. It is something that’s been with me since I was a young boy, and I am in my mid 30’s now. I have let very few men into that world, out of fear of being outed or hurt, and always do my due diligence when committing to be with a man in that situation. I can’t explain myself very well, other than I know I really enjoy it, and it’s painfully evident how much I enjoy it by the way I treat a man if I end up hooking up with him. I am a dream slut. I suck, milk, and swallow every inch of cock and every ounce of cum I can possibly take, cherishing the images and feelings as they occur and putting them in my mental roll-a-dex for when I am lonely and reduced to fantasy.

I am just like anyone else in the modern day, utilizing the internet as a safe way to be introduced to people online looking for the same thrills that I am looking for. I can get all dolled up, be a little looser and sluttier online because most of the time I don’t have to own up to my descriptions, as I don’t end up meeting with anyone. That is one of the benefits and subsequent pitfalls of the online flirt. 9 out of 10 potential hookups are full of shit. You tend to forget that there are some people on there who say what they mean and mean what they say after dealing with so many flakes that will come on strong then just fade. I had been chatting for an hour or so when a screen name “Manley Man” came up and said hello. I lead on very little that I am into wearing dresses and panties until I reach a certain level of trust with someone. Some men don’t like that style of girly boy. It is my ultimate fantasy, and it is the premise behind me being online looking for someone. I want to be able to feel a man groping at my body and rifling through my easy to reach skirt and have him run his hands up my thighs en route to my muted cock and lusciously clean shaven and flowering rear pussy and make it go crazy. “Manley Man” wasn’t into my lifestyle. He sent me some pictures and I sent him some back, hiding my real girly pics and just showing my smooth hairless body and smiling pouty lips. I let one picture slip in my collage that revealed my tight leopard print Second Skin Satin panties on my crotch, pulling the panties to the side to reveal my 100% completely smooth and shaven balls and taint as well as my boi pussy hole. He asked me about it and I told him what I was into. He quickly denounced it and said he wasn’t interested and I told him I understood. I went about my business for a bit chatting with others when he popped back up and asked, “Why? Why do you like to do that?”

My reply was simply, “because I love being treated like a girl and satisfying a man. I am a man by physicality, I am a whore girl by mentality, and I love slutty, sexy, girly, clothes and being dominated like a slutty, sexy, girly girl by a manly man.”

“I won’t fuck you but you can come and suck my dick,” he said, after a few moments of nothing in return. I was horny, and was kind of enjoying being talked to and treated like a sexual utility by this guy, so I played along.

“Sounds nice, how generous of you to offer for me to get in my car and come to your house and suck your dick. That’s really considerate and sweet of you,” I said, thinking he would sense the sarcasm. It went right over his head.

“I know it’s nice of me, now when will you be here to suck my cock and eat my cum?” He didn’t have a way with words, but I did appreciate his blunt and rude manly mannerisms somewhere in the attic of my mind, and I did feel the tremble and escalated heartbeat that goes along with the territory of being talked to like a girl. That split second of contemplation is almost the biggest rush of it all. To look up at myself in my mirror, earrings, makeup, wig, silk and satin draping my body, my cock shrinking as I imagine a much bigger and harder cock overshadowing it as a man mounts me and plops it into my back pussy, and me nervously succumbing to being dominated by a bigger and more “manly man”, and becoming his cum toy, a prop used to fuel the testosterone laden desire of fucking me like a girl.

“I can be there in 20 minutes, I just need to freshen up my makeup and put on some heels,” I said.

“No, no, no,” he replied, “none of that shit will be tolerated. I want you to suck my cock and eat my cum, like a good boy, NOT like a good girl, understand?”

I was put out by it. “That’s not what I am. I don’t just fancy men. I fancy men that can give me the satisfaction I have deserved all my life, and to fulfill the desires, the very deep desires, whether real or imagined by all parties involved. I want to be treated like the girl I know I am, goddamn it.” My little queen heart was aflutter with my defense of me and what I stood for. He bluntly extinguished the small fire I thought I had lit while defending my wants and needs.

“Be at my house in 20 minutes, no makeup, no heels, just you, let yourself in the side door and I will meet you in my darkened kitchen, where I will have a candle lit, will be sitting in a folding chair, with a pillow at the floor for you to place your knees on while you get down on the ground and suck my cock and swallow my cum. Do you want this or not? I’ve got 8 hard inches for you to suck on and satisfy you ‘girly’ wants and needs, but my wants and needs are to be sucked off and swallowed very soon, or this door closes and will never be opened again. What is your answer?”

I felt my heartbeat in my throat, I felt my mouth get wet imagining what would go down at his house, and I felt like I had been talked to like I was a cheap slut whore. “I’ll be there in 20 minutes,” I typed, and nervously made a double vodka on rocks with a hint of lime while I quickly washed the makeup off my face and took off my dress. I was sort of depressed about his telling me not to be a girl for him. I took off my hose and heels and slinked out of my slip and dress, and stood there in my full length mirror in my bra and panties. I took off my bra, but decided I wasn’t going to take off my panties. Those were my underwear, and I wear panties 24/7. Satin, slutty panties, I love how they grip me between my legs and make me feel normal. He said he wasn’t going there anyway, so I didn’t bother taking them off and took off for his house.

I arrived and parked in the side of his house, right by the side door that was cracked and afforded a faint view of a flickering light through the crack. I parked, put my gum back in the wrapper and nervously walked up the stairs and to his door.

As the door creaked open, there he sat in his folding chair just behind the door, shirtless, and in a pair of warm up pants. There was a pillow between his legs on the floor for me to kneel onto. I walked in with my head down, somewhat admitting defeat for not being who I wanted to be, and was about to get on my knees when he quickly stood up and wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me close into his body. He was average size, good looking, 5’8”, about 190 pounds, not a spec of fat on his belly or chest. He had a few tattoos, one on his arm, and one on his chest, and he was tan and warm. I was shivering somewhat. The reality of what I was doing had set in a little bit, and because I don’t do this often at all, I always like to maximize my fantasy time by dolling up in all my sexy girly clothes and having a man lust for me like I am a girl. This was more reminiscent of the first few times I was with guys as a guy. It was ok, but it didn’t feel totally right. I wanted to feel like a girl.

He gripped me tight and pulled me into him, kissing me on the forehead and saying he would be gentle and sweet to me, he just didn’t want a queen showing up at his house, which is exactly what I would have been had I done it like I wanted to. I hugged him back and kissed his lips, which was intoxicating. He immediately sprung up hard as we kissed and I nestled into his neck, rubbing his ripped back and shoulder blades while his cock made itself known to me by throbbing up against my legs as we embraced. He kissed me one more time on the lips and then gently pushed my shoulders down to get me on my knees to begin sucking his dick. I kissed his chest and midsection as I descended down his body and took my place on the pillow he had so thoughtfully put out for me.

I watch a lot of porn to learn techniques and fuck tricks and so forth. I am constantly horny from having this sea of hormonal confusion I sail in every day of my life. I have to satisfy two people inside of me, the slutty, hungry girl longing to satisfy my lover, and the cum driven man that blows 3 to 4 loads a day just jerking off while imagining being that girl. I got fixated for awhile on Heather Brooke, a deep throat blow job girl who makes cocksucking and getting anally fucked look like sheer heaven any time she does it. She’s a real woman, seemingly very into what she does, and sucks a cock with more passion than all other girls on the internet, and that’s a lot of girls….

I decided in my lustful mind as I was settling in to take care of my man, that I would emulate and mock Miss Heather Brooke while I sucked his cock. No cock is too big for her mouth or her ass. She’ll swallow any size cock down her throat and will eagerly lap up all cum that is produced as a result of her sucking a cock so well. It’s a thing of beauty. I pulled his elastic waistband down and his cock came flopping out. It was fully erect and bulging as I grabbed it with one hand and kissed and licked the head and throbbing shaft, making it as wet with my spit as I could. I then rifled the whole cock down my throat and held it there and he gripped the back of my head. I began to gag a little and he really liked that. He pushed my head down harder until I did it some more and I squeezed his thighs with my nails to let him know to release me, which he did. I pulled his cock fully out of my mouth, looked up at him, licked the head with my tongue and kissed it with my lips, then swallowed the whole cock down my throat. I began shortly pulling back on it, letting the bulk of his cock stay in my mouth while I worked it with my tongue. He was raging with this incredible hard cock throbbing in my mouth. He gripped my head again and told me to release my hands from his cock, which I did, and he proceeded to ram his cock into my throat while holding onto my head from behind. I was taking it all the way down, 8 thick inches, and it could have gone even deeper. His balls were on my chin as he ground into my face and began fucking my lips as hard as he could.

He reached down my back with one hand and ran it into the back of my jeans, pushing down my jeans and gripping my ass as he thrust into my mouth. He felt the panties on my ass and stumbled for a minute, letting his fingers reaffirm that he was indeed fondling a man in girl’s underwear, and he just didn’t know what to do about it. As his hand groped my ass I moaned in pleasure, and let him know how turned on it got me when he touched me like that as I took a more dedicated approach to sucking his cock as he fondled near my pussy with his fingers. He picked up on this and it turned him on. He rubbed his hands down my ass in panties again and I pushed my pussy hole up against his fingers like a pussycat begging to be petted. Again, it got him going, and in no time he was as hard as he could get and was breathing heavy as he began thrusting into my lips. My hands were at my side and I followed his lead as he pulled my head closer to him and into his dick as he started to explode.

“Shoot it on my face,” I said, lapping and sucking and licking on his overinflated cock.

He told me, “no mess. We leave no mess, understand? I am going to shoot this cum into your throat and you better not act a fool. You better take every last drop of it.” Most girls would be frightened by that. What can I say? It turned me on. With that, I nodded while looking up at him and looking down at his dick in my mouth through my hair and I began to go down on him harder than ever. He was furiously rubbing my ass and calling me bitch as he scurried to finish the deal. That was getting me hotter and hotter, and he began to moan as he started erupting.

One thing Heather Brooke does is she allows them to spray her face with cum and she eats it off with her fingers and immediately and repeatedly sucks the dick even harder than before it came to make the lucky man writhe in pleasure. That’s one thing Tina(me) adopted as well, and he spewed strongly into my mouth and I lapped it all up, going back down on the cock harder and more intense for a good ten minutes after he came, just licking, kissing, and massaging his cock in my mouth. With each pronounced suck he would exclaim happily and thrust into my mouth. I sucked his cock forever after he came. He pulled me off eventually, it was still rock hard, and kissed me deeply and thanked me. He told me, “if you play your cards right, I will let you do this again sometime really soon.” I nodded at him, leaned up and kissed his chest, and let myself out and rode home.

I put on a satin babydoll, matching panties, jumped into bed, and rammed my vibrator so hard up my back pussy as I jerked off my cock for the next 2 hours, daydreaming about his huge load of cum he shot into me and cumming repeatedly myself. I could still taste his in the back of my throat and I added to that cream with some of my own to keep it nice and fresh on my mind. I only drank water afterwards to try and conceal that taste in my throat for as long as I could. I fell asleep and woke up with my vibrator in my pussy, and in a pool of dried cum. My nightie was stuck to me, the vibrator battery had died while fucking me, and the computer was still on. I let the dildo out of me and leaned up when I glanced at the computer and saw an open chat window. It was “Manley Man” and the following messages were in order.

“That was the best cocksucking I have ever had. Thank you, baby.”

“I’ve never cum that hard and I think I could do it again immediately, I never feel like that”

“You there? You have me going crazy over here. I must have your lips again.”

“Hello? Are you there? If so, reply”

“Ok, I must have upset you by being a jerk about you enjoying wearing girl’s clothes. I’m sorry if I did, I just don’t like to think of myself attracted to that type of guy. I want you right now, real bad. Wear anything you like. Please come back over. I have a mattress set up on my living room floor and will be laying on it watching this computer until I get word back from you. Please respond. You won’t be sorry”

This all made me so very horny. I sat up, thought about it, then replied,

“Oh, hey, how are you? If I missed you I understand. Thanks for the messages!”

He immediately shot back, “Get over here. I don’t care what you wear. I need you now. Bring protection if you have it. I’m really excited to see you again”

I was pretty proud of my performance, I must admit. I know what a good cocksucker I am. I watch and practice all the time. I am a dedicated cock worshiper.

“I’ll be there in 20 minutes. I will compromise for you regarding the way I dress”

He replied 3 words, “see you there”.

I sprung up and cleaned my cum off of me with a washcloth, then quickly put on my matching Victoria’s Secret pink satin bra and panties set and some hose but wore jeans over them. I wore flats for shoes and only put on lipstick. Pink, pouty sparkling lipstick, and jumped in my car to head over.

It was the same setup as I arrived back over there, the door was cracked, and I could see a flicker of light through it. I got out and was nervous again, walked up and entered his house shaking again. He met me at the door this time, standing up, in the same sweatpants only, and began kissing me deeply. I kissed him back and I wrapped my arms around his neck he picked me up and pulled me into him. My legs wrapped around his waist as we kissed and he walked with me, tongues intertwined and eyes closed, into his living room where he had set up a mattress on the floor as promised. He laid me back on my back and got on top of me, kissing me deeply and thrusting his cock through his sweatpants into my spread legs. I reached down to pull it out and he thrust up to my lips with it the second I did. He stuck it all the way down my throat and fucked my mouth from on top of me. I was gagging and tears were running down my cheeks. The angle was making him really go down my throat roughly. He loved that I was choking on it. I kind of did, too. He suspended himself above me with one arm and kept his cock in my mouth as he took his other hand between my legs. I got much more sensuous with my cocksucking as he rubbed me in my spot. My legs were spreading further and further and I was moaning under my breath, making his my lips quiver on his cock as I closed my eyes in ecstasy. He rubbed as forceful as he could between my legs on my silky smooth shaven panty crotch, and I sucked and licked at his cock as if it were the lollipop from whence life came from. I was so fucking hot for his dick and he knew it.

He pulled his cock out of my mouth and came down to mount himself on me. My legs were spread wider than a squatting gymnast and suspended by their own wanton desire to stay up and out of his way, giving him full reign of my entire body. My eyes were closed, I felt his cock buoying all around my panty crotch, touching around my ass and thrusting into me, then riding up a little higher so the bottom side of his shaft rubbed straight between my legs and squarely on top of my cock, shriveled and hidden in my panties. I was there. I was so there. He had an amazing knack for keeping me all hot and bothered while he maneuvered around me getting me ready. I was grinding my hips back into his cock when he reached down with some lube and put his fingers inside my panties and ran them around every portion of my sugar pussy. He remained kissing me as he did so, then put a glob on his cock and rubbed it in and wrapped it in a magnum. He kissed me deeply and as he did he put the head of his cock into me. I spread even wider and moaned, he left it there for a second, then backed it out but immediately forced it right back in this time, kissing me deeper as he went deeper into me. I was breathless, kissing him, rubbing his chest, wanting it so badly. He knew it, too. He pulled back again, leaned in and kissed me then began nibbling on my ear while I cooed and rubbed his back. He whispered, “bitch,” and stuck it all the way in. I gasped in pleasure and pain all at once, he kissed and tugged at my ear with his teeth and backed his cock out but quickly reinserted it deeper into me. He moaned along with me. He brought his lip to mine and we French kissed as he began to get a rhythm to his fucking of me. I couldn’t hold out much longer, the motion of the ocean combined with is repeated stabs at my prostate had me on the verge of cumming. He was on the verge himself, and he backed up, towering over me and holding his body weight up with his arms while he looked down on me from above. He said various hot things to me, all the while looking me in the eyes as he intensified his thrusts into me. He would call me “cock whore” and “cum slut” and I would nod, unable to speak, just telling him yes to everything with the way my pussy was getting fucked. He told me he wanted me to eat it again and that he was close. He picked up his pounding and began going so deep into me with each thrust that cum began spurting out of my deflated cock, my ass muscles gripped his cock and sucked him into me harder and faster than he could go himself. My pussy was totally violated, and loving it. I gripped his ass cheeks as hard as I could and slammed him into me with every bit of strength I had left in my sweaty, hairless, tingling frame. He could last no more, he pulled it out and ripped the rubber off, I closed my eyes and leaned back to catch my breath, but there would be none of that. He rammed his dick into my mouth and screamed “eat it baby!!” at the top of his lungs. I didn’t have my breath, but I wouldn’t let my manly man down. I gripped his ass cheeks again and thrust him down my throat. His cock felt like it was in my neck as he shot his load into my mouth. It was far more spastic and intense than his first cumshot he gave me earlier that night. It kept flowing, and I kept drinking it, looking up at him the whole time as I lapped at it. He pulled it out of my lips and fell over to my side onto the mattress but before his back could hit the bed I leaped up and took his cock back into my mouth. He was reduced to grunts and spasms as I sucked and sucked and sucked on his cock. He tried to get me off of him but I would not release. He gave up on forcing me to quit and just enjoyed it. He would wince in pleasure filled pain as I kept his cock completely engulfed in my lips, constantly running my tongue around it, and sucking it like a tongue depressor as hard and intently as I could for at least 10 minutes after sex. I finally released and laid down next to him. My panties were all twisted around my body, my bra was falling off of me, barely hanging on by one strap, my lipstick was long gone. He rubbed my shoulders, turned to me, kissed me, and said, “I really enjoyed that, now, get out of my house, queen”. I looked confused, I went to sit up and talk but he pushed me down on the bed and gripped my cheeks with his hands, “you heard me, queen, get the fuck out of my house!” I looked around for my shoes but he found them before I did and tossed them to me while pointing at the door. I was confused and hurt and was scurrying for the door when he said, “Hey!” I turned to look at him, a tear running down my face, and sniffling, and he said, “best fuck I ever had, queen. I want you every day, every second, every moment, and that makes me angry at myself. It’s not you. You’re a glorious cumsucker, your pussy is sweeter than anything my cock has ever fucked, but it still freaks me out that you want to be treated like a girl. Don’t be offended. I will be calling you again. I think you’ll answer, too, because I know I fucked your brains out and you loved it like a sweet little cock whore. You’re a phenomenal whore, understand?”

I was confused. It was some of the best fucking I had ever done, I was sore and drenched and my legs were shaking. I could barely walk. I went to walk back towards him and he held his hand up to tell me do not get closer. “You will hear from me, I promise,” he said, as I was closing the door behind me. I was so drenched in cum, my mouth and pussy were both stretched and sore, but the good kind of sore that you love, because you know you’ve been fucked hard. Still bewildered by his comments, I went home, ran a bath, poured a glass of white wine, got in the tub, just me and my vibrator, and my bubbles, and watched for his chat to appear on my screen from across the bathroom, still wanting more. Give me your cock, give me your cum, and fuck my pussy raw. Please reply…..