This is a story about me and my youth. The story is 100% true and I use as little artistic license as possible. Chapter 1 sets the stage and there is very little sex. I’m setting the stage, I am painting a picture, I am telling a story. I am doing my best Bruce Springsteen impersonation. I promise though the sex comes in the next few chapters. It’s fucking glorious, it happens often, and its fucking graphic as all hell. I welcome your constructive criticism.

I was your ordinary high school kid. Kept to myself for the most part. I wasn’t the kind of teenager that had a lot of friends. I knew a lot of people, but I knew early on the definition of a “friend.” I didn’t go out a lot. I just wasn’t in that circle. My social life consisted of going to movies and baseball games. I was a die-hard baseball fan and I was pretty darn good at it. When it came to girls, I failed miserably. I wasn’t shy, I just had an immense fear of rejection. That fear of rejection kept me in the “friends’ zone.” I was ok with it. I just figured I wasn’t good looking enough; I knew I wasn’t cool enough. I was about 5’10” 165 lbs. Brown hair, brown eyes. I had an athletic build, no six pack though. Just a good but not great athlete. I got good grades in school. Frankly, school was boring to me, and I gave very little effort as a result. My GPA reflected that, but I was more interested in sports and even more interested in the girls walking around school. Back then, we all dressed a little more conservatively, at least compared to the sluts I see walking around today. After all, it was the late 1980’s, early 1990’s and we were inspired by legendary television and definitely legendary music. It was a great time for me, but only if I could finally fucking get laid, a blow job, a kiss… anything… it was an everyday struggle… and frankly I thought my right hand would eventually fall off, the amount of times I jerked off.

The girls in my grade at least the hot ones, were all athletes… we had that in common, but they of course all dated the best players on our respective team… or they dated the captain of each team. What was unusual, was that the cheerleaders weren’t that hot. The hottest ones were Jen, who was a lacrosse/field hockey legitimate all American super star. She wasn’t tall, 5’5”, maybe 5’6”, straight blonde hair, blue eyes, great B cup tits that pointed straight… and I imagined had absolutely ZERO sag. She didn’t have the best skin, but that was irrelevant, because the whole package was greater than the sum of the parts. Her ass was fucking perfect. I mean Grade A fucking perfect. Round, heart shaped and looked insane in a pair of tight jeans. She had little personality, or so I thought… we’d interact every now and again… and I always got the feeling of her disinterest. Her disinterest was something I was all too familiar with, she wasn’t the first to show interest, and she wasn’t going to be the last. I always rationalized that she was just a focused athlete, that all the outside noise was just a nuisance. I always imagined her to be a great fuck… man I wish I had the proof. Of course, being in high school, there were rumors floating all the time, and she was the one that wouldn’t put out. Her boyfriend at the time, John was my teammate on my baseball team, the starting shortstop, me the 2nd baseman. I knew John had several side pieces… Jen was putting out an when your 16,17 yrs old… pussy is really the only thing that mattered. Jen and John dated all the way through high school and went their separate ways after high school.

Katie was a super star athlete. She was the opposite of Jen. She had a different body style, but A++ personality. She was cool, funny, and very hot in an everyday girl kind of way. She had dirty blonde hair, deep brown eyes, and great big tits, C cup (I finally can confirm later- YAY ME!!!!) tits. Great body, slim but not super slim. She was always laughing and was easy to talk to. We didn’t talk all that often, as she was my favorite of all the girls I obsessed over. We had almost identical schedules throughout junior and senior years, but we didn’t hang… after all, my fear of rejection kept me quiet and with few true friends. Katie didn’t have a boyfriend, and I always thought that all I had to do was ask…but you guessed it, I never did. Katie was always the center of the social scene… she controlled who was going to host the keg party and her older 21 yr old brother always got her the kegs. Katie was just cool, sexy, and funny… Katie had all the food groups if you know what I mean.

I didn’t have a lot of friends, and those I had were equally shy… so that was our bond. No drinking, no dating for me… I didn’t even go to my junior prom. My obsession over Jen and Katie were paramount my junior year… I jerked off to them religiously… I envisioned them behaving according to their personality. That truth still holds true today… my spank bank is filled with women behaving according to their personalities… I preferred girls who acted sexually in reality as opposed to the porn acting we’re all accustomed to now. Jen shockingly was my favorite to jerk off to. She played hard to get… and so all I ever imagined was her giving me insane blow jobs. In my mind, the greatest imaginary story, was her blowing me, but not swallowing… as she thought that to be disgusting. Sex was never on the table, as her boyfriend John always bitched in locker room and the rumors I guess were never really rumors. Katie, on the other hand… never had any rumors, no boyfriend to spread them… but she was a ton of fun, so I always imagined her being a great lay, full of sexual energy, and a high sex drive.

Senior Year came, and I had a plan, a goal, an agenda. GET FUCKING LAID!!!! I had a good sized growth spurt between junior and senior years. I probably grew and inch and filled out weight wise. I was solid but my fear of rejection stayed with me all senior year. As summer ended, I was prepared for school… get fucking laid one way or another.

Day 1 of school, I walked in, tanned body wearing kacky pants and a pink shirt. I knew that today of all days, I was going to look my best. I had just come off a week long cruise with my parents and brother. No fun to be had on that boat… as it’s virtually impossible to get any action with your parents and your brother hanging on to you at every turn. I walked into school knowing I was looking my best. Got my schedule and my first class was Algebra. I headed straight to the class… sat down in the first empty chair… no one was around me so who the hell knew who was going to sit next to me… All I hoped for was that it be a hot chick, Jen or Katie would be icing on the cake. The room filled up as the 1st bell was about to ring… there was only one empty seat next to as the bell rang and as it blared out in walked Katie. Boom!!! She sat down next me and all I could say to myself… Holy Fuck!!!

As the teacher is doing roll call, Katie turns to me and whispers “Holy Shit Steve, you look fucking great! How was your summer?” I had no response…. I sat there in shock, at a lost of words. All I could muster was “thanks.” Fucking thanks, real fucking suave Steve… you fucking loser. What a dumbass. Class goes off without a hitch… and I head to my next class. English. I had to take a massive piss, so I was a second late to class. I walked in as the class bell rang… there was 1 empty desk… and guess who would end up sitting next to me… Katie. All I said to myself… “there’s a theme here Steve… you’ve got this.” Katie looks at me and smiled, I return the favor with an equally genuine smile. I said nothing to Katie. The fear was real and I felt the reality of never overcoming my fear of rejection was going to be the theme of my life. Katie ended up being in 4 out of my 6 classes that year… so I knew I had time, or so I thought.

I didn’t see much of Jen during the school days… we always ran into each other in the gym after school. With my growth spurt and added weight, I became a bit of a workout fiend, a gym rat of sorts. I didn’t have a 6 pack stomach, but my overall strength grew so much I felt like fucking superman. I was prepping for the baseball season in the spring… I was going to crush it. I was going to get drafted by a major league baseball team, the Yankees of course was my first choice. At the end of the workout, the head athletic trainer came to me, Patty was her name. Patty proclaimed, “Steve, you’re a whole new person… I watched your workout. You’re definitely committed. I love what I am seeing.” Sadly, Patty had a thick body, small tits, wide hips, and a boys haircut. It wasn’t much of a secret, you could tell she played for the same team I did, she was the competition, I often laughed to myself.

I always looked for Jen in the gym, but the 1st 2 weeks of time in the gym, she was a no show. I always thought it was weird. About a month in, Jen finally showed up… she looked pretty much the same… she didn’t look like she aged at all… same body, same everything. I barely got a glance from her the whole year… she was still with John…and John was still John, and all his girlfriends. It was high school, and I always felt it was the best kept secret that Jen never found out about his side pieces. I guess the social pressure of ratting out John was just too great. Jen barely gave me a glance. I was pretty much invisible to her. Nothing changed I guess.

The first semester comes and goes… and it’s getting close to the holiday season. Personally, I never felt better. Jen was a distant figure at this point, and my relationship with Katie was stale, as my fear of rejection had an undefeated record. Katie and I were friendly, and we often exchanged class notes. I always figured it was a matter of time before she asked me to be her study partner. Study partner was going to turn into torrid sex, and then she’d be my girlfriend. That was the plan. I jerked off to her religiously. I’d cum so hard thinking of Katie doing all sorts of things… sucking my dick, swallowing, me fucking her pussy so hard, she’d scream with every thrust. I even imagined fucking her in the ass… violently sometimes, as a way to get my revenge of her ignoring me all that time. When it came to jerking off, I was a rock star.

I believed I had a nice cock. I measured it my junior year… 7” solid with a little curve upward. I walked through my senior year with a 24/7 hard on… all I needed was one opportunity to unleash my best friend (ha ha!!) The holiday season was fast approaching, and upon its conclusion, it became baseball season… I knew I had to ramp up my workouts, and I knew my focus had to change. This was going to be my only chance to get drafted. Christmas comes and goes. New Year’s comes, and my buddy Rob out of nowhere invites me to a New Year’s party. This was pre mobile phones, so when Rob called my house phone, time stood still as I received the call. Rob said, “Katie was having a New Years Eve Party, and she asked him to make sure I was invited.” I responded to Rob “Hey Man, I’m not much of a drinker, I’m a fucking lightweight. And besides, I am focused on my baseball training.” Rob laughed and replied “Dude, when a girl invites you to a party, you go to the party. I’ll pick you up at 8.” He hung up. My parents sat there in silence watching my every move… Mom, Dad “I’m going to a New Years Party.” Both parents smiled, and didn’t have a response.

Katie wants me at her New Years Party made me SO FUCKING HARD. I ran upstairs, and hit the showers… I took out the lotion as the warm water poured over my body. I squeezed the lotion into my best friend, and rubbed it up and down across all 7 inches. I stroked my cock as though I was rubbing the skin off my dick. I came in less than 2 minutes. My cum squirted across the shower like a line drive hit to centerfield. I was going out without a loaded gun. 8pm comes and I am waiting outside for Rob to come get me. 8:15, 8:30, 9pm… no sign of Rob. I am like what the fuck… where is this motherfucker? At this point, I am realizing it was all a lie… Rob wasn’t my friend, it was a nasty trick and I was fucking enraged. I walked back inside, it was 9:30, and my parents had this look of sadness. They tried to comfort me, as the tears rolled down my face. I was ok, as I kept telling myself, I went upstairs, got undressed, and just got into bed and fell asleep. My senior year, It’s New Year’s Eve, and I’m home alone in bed. Happy New Years 1991.

Winter recess came to an end, and I now had an edge to me, I was angry. I got set up… I was going to get even. The first day of school after winter break comes, and I’m ready for school an hour ahead of time. By this time, my best friend Joe had his license and he had a car. He was my ride to school. He comes to pick me up and I get in the car… with one look at me, he knows my fuse is short. He says nothing. We’re at school in 10 minutes. I walk in to school, and my sole focus was to hunt down Rob. When I’d find him, my superman strength combined with my new found rage, was going to end up knocking Rob to the floor. I didn’t know how to throw a punch, but my rage made me feel like I was Bruce Fucking Lee. I empty my bag in my locker, and as I turn the corner to head to class, there is Rob along with his best friend Mike standing in front of me. Mike stops suddenly, he sees me, and he knows its about to go down. Rob had his head down and didn’t see me. This was my opportunity. Mike taps Rob on the shoulder and as he looks up, Rob sees my bare knuckles fast approaching his face. Rob instinctively, dodges my right upper cut. Mike realizing what’s about to happen grabs me, as Rob just stares at me and laughs in my face. I’m fucking pissed off now. My golden opportunity has come and gone. The bell rings and all 3 of us are now late to class. Rob and I, along with Katie have the same math class to start the day. I scurried to my seat but the teacher was no where to be found. I sit down to catch my breath, still full of rage. Rob suddenly got out of his chair and walks up to Katie and plants a kiss on her soft pink beautiful lips. My heart fucking sunk into my chest. What the fuck just happened. Rob fucking set me up, and my rage was about to erupt. I spent the whole class, fuck the whole day, completely distracted by Rob and Katie. They were fucking dating now, and Rob’s trick on me only added to the hurt, it fueled the hate.

The end of the day and I couldn’t get to the gym fast enough. I had to let out the sexual frustration, the anger, the hate. I changed in the locker room in literally 30 seconds. I sprinted to the weight room, and was ready to crush the best workout of my life. I kicked the doors to the weight room wide open, as they smashed into the wall with a loud bang. I had my yellow Sony Walkman on (after all it’s 1991) and I am blasting Guns N Roses’s Appetite for Destruction through the headphones. I literally jump through the entrance way to be greeted by my baseball coach, Mr. West. I say “Coach, get the fuck out of my way, I am on a mission, and I’ve got to get this fucking workout in before I explode.” I’ve got GNR on volume 10. I couldn’t here a word he said. He grabs me, and pulls my headphones off. Coach West was talking to me, but my rage and anger drowned out every word he said. Still to this day, I can’t remember a word he said. I hit the gym so hard for weeks, completely fueled by my rage.

Winter ended, and spring came quickly. My anger subdued, as I came to accept that Katie and Rob were together. I spent months desperately wishing I could tell Katie the truth about her douchebag boyfriend. With Spring came the baseball season and I was ready to fucking crush it. Like the major leagues, high school has spring training too. I was ready, strong, and raring to go. First practice of the season comes, and I’m at second base. Defense was never an issue for me, I was probably the best defensive player on the team. When it came to my first at bat, I had one dream and that was to hit the first pitch I saw a fucking mile. The pitch comes and I crushed it to right center field, the sound of the ball hitting the bat caught everyone’s attention. The ball one hops off the wall. I am literally running like the wind around the bases, I turn around 3rd base, heading for an inside the park home run. As I turned for home, I hear a snap, and a thunderbolt of pain shoots throughout my whole body. I literally collapsed halfway to home plate. The athletic trainer, Patty witnessed the whole thing and immediately calls for assistance. She knew what happened. I was done. She immediately, gets my teammate John and John P to lift me to the bench. Patty rolls up my pants, and sees my knee is the size of a fucking grapefruit. “Holy Shit, we’re taking you to the hospital.” Protocol was to call for an ambulance. I was screaming in pain. Patty gave me some kind of pill that pretty much made feel drunk. At this time, all the spring sports teams, saw the ambulance coming. I was fucking heartbroken, and once again filled with rage.

My parents met me at the ER, as I was rushed for an X ray and an MRI. The good news, nothing was torn, but it was identified that my ligaments were degenerative. There went my baseball career.

Chapter 2 gets better. I hope you enjoy.