One Thousand Apologies – Part 6
Introduction:
The continuing adventures of Joe and his cousin Hannah
It was a story of love and baseball (and the Steelers). It was July of 1979 when Joeâs aunt and her three kids returned from living out of state. Once back home she married a local doctor and moved into a nice home across town from Joe. He hadnât seen his cousin Hannah for five years, but was quite smitten with her when they met again. After a few weeks it led to their first kiss, and another couple weeks after that they were in each otherâs pants and Joe soon lost his virginity to his younger cousin. We pick the story up in mid-September as they try to keep their relationship hot while trying to find time to be together under the noses of their parents.
So look forward to Homecoming games, skinny dipping, the drive-in movie theater, fraternity parties, and oh, that girl Katie at the bowling alley.
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Hannah was everything I had ever hoped for. We were friends, we were lovers â but it was a secret. Not only that we were cousins, but there were still some people who believed that you shouldnât even be able to read about teenagers in love and having sex, let alone deal with it among their own children.
Hannah reached across the lunch table to put her hand on mine. She looked into my eyes and said, âIf this is going to last, sooner or later weâre going to have to tell them. We need to get out front on it, so that weâre in control of the situation.â If there was anything the girl was terrified of, it was not being in control.
I nodded as I replied, âYouâre right. Maybe in steps, like getting them used to us hanging out all the time, even if weâre not showing any affection.â
She seemed a little down as she said, âWell, that sounds good, I guess.â Then she composed herself, and sounding more upbeat asked, âSo, are you coming to our Homecoming game Friday night?â
Excitedly I replied, âOnly if I get to wear my Walnut Heights letter jacket!â
âItâs not like you played football!â
âThe jackets all look the same! I promise I wonât root against you guys too hard. I donât really know very many on our team â the guys who are seniors now were only in 9th grade when I was a senior.â
âThe gameâs at eight â what time are you going to pick me up?â
I paused to think, and then asked her, âMaybe you can get a ride with Dave and Susie and I can meet yunz there?â
She shrugged and look right at me. âI thought we were going to try being more open.â
I knew it sounded much too whiny when I said, âI KNOWâŠI know, I just need a little more time.â
I had to laugh as she leered at me through squinted eyes.
I reached for her hand as I said, âCâmon, we need to get you back to school on time.â In a few minutes we were back at her parking lot where we gave each other a short goodbye kiss.
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Friday came quickly. It was a nice day for the middle of September, sunny with a high of seventy five, although I knew the next day would be rainy at best. Of course, with the winds up on the hill, I was probably going to have to zip my letter jacket to stay warm.
Although I was dressed in the road teamâs red and gray, I made my way along the walkway at the base of the metal bleachers on the home side of the field, scanning the crowd for some familiar faces. I was less than halfway down when I saw Hannah stand and wave, maybe ten or twelve rows up. Once I was up the steps, I made my way past Dave and Susie to take a seat between the girls. I kissed Hannah then turned to greet the others.
Before I could get a word out Susie punched me in the arm and said âHey tiger!â
Just a little confused, I gave her a dumbstruck look in return. âSunday!â she exclaimed, âyou really had that one squealing!â
I looked back at Hannah in time to see her burying her face in her hands as she muttered âOh my God!â
After a second, I weakly answered, âYeahâŠI guess so!â Obviously she hadnât known me for very long.
âDudeâ Dave laughed, âYou should see how red your face is!â
Hannah yelled back, âI love you too Dave!â
Thankfully Pineland broke off a long run which drew Dave and Susieâs attention back to the game, leaving Hannah and me to hold hands in relative peace, only interrupted when she joined them in cheering some event on the field.
Walnut Heights held a 12-8 halftime lead when Dave and I went to stand in line for hot dogs from the concession stand. As the Homecoming events took place out on the field, he asked me, âSome guys and their girlfriends are going out after the game â I think you know all of them from baseball â you two want to come along?â
âWhere yunz goin?â
âOh, probably just down to the strip mine for some beers, but itâs a chance to hang out.â
âYeah, sure, Iâm up for it, Iâll ask Hannah when we get back.â
An hour and a half later the four of us met up in the parking lot with three other couples, all Pineland graduates who had returned for homecoming. I did indeed know all the guys, although I had only met one of the girls.
Soon we had a caravan which headed a few miles out the state route, then turned into a dirt road which took us another half mile into the woods. I was just following along to the point where we all parked in a small clearing a few yards from a water filled pit. Hannah and I walked over to where the others were unloading a couple cases of beer from Billâs trunk. I grabbed the bag of hot dogs and buns and we all settled around and old camp fire, which the collection of rusty cans in the surrounding grass made me think this site had seen regular use over a long period of time.
Apparently Vicky and Bill were back together, and J.P. and Shawn brought girls who were new to me. I thought both were O.K. looking but nothing great, however Vicky was just delicious and had been getting my dick twitching since the summer before.
I decided to keep my eyes and hands on Hannah instead of Vicky, as the ten of us spent an hour so swigging down some pretty horrendous Milwaukeeâs Best while we roasted dogs and marshmallows on the ends of sticks.
After all us guys took turns bragging about our athletic prowess and as we got a little more filled with beer, the boasting turned to sex.
J.P. proclaimed that any guy who left his lady without an orgasm was a true asshole, which got an enthusiastic thumbs up from Shelly.
Bill got a slap in the arm from Vicky when he wanted to let everyone know that his was so big that she couldnât help but cum. I couldnât help but notice some movement in my crotch when I conjured up a mental image of Vicky impaled.
Dave was looking a little plastered when pointed at me and said âWell Joe was trying to tell me that his was bigger than mine, but I donât know!â
Shawnâs girlfriend asked, âSo Joe, how do you know how big Dave is?â
I could feel my face turning red as I muttered, âWell – it was a third party observation.â
Everyone spun around to Hannah, who blurted out, âDonât look at me, Daveâs my brother for Christâs sake!â
Then Susie asked me, âWait, was this someone before me and Hannah, who you were both with?â
I exclaimed, âNo! Hannah was my first!â which made her grab the front of my shirt and spit, just inches from my face, âJust shut up!â which had everyone else going, âOooooh!â
I tried to put an end to it with, âItâs just – complicated, never mind!
With that Shawn stood up and announced, âWell that gives me an idea â speaking of naked, how âbout we go skinny dipping?â
We all stood in a circle around the camp fire, everyoneâs eyes surveying everyone else to see who would be the first to act. Shawnâs shirt was off while some of the others started to pull up the bottom of theirs.
I was very conflicted as I tried to decide. The thought of it was very exciting, something much more bold than I had ever done before. If I did, Iâd be naked in front of not only my girlfriend, but four other girls and all of their boyfriends. Would we all be checking out each other packages? The other girlâs boobs? What if I wasnât very impressive? What if I got a hard on in front of all the other girls? Was Hannah going to be pissed later, like after I had shown my erection to Ellen? I also wasnât sure how cold the water was or how deep it went. I was afraid I might jump in and sink fifty feet to the bottom.
Dave had his shirt half way up when he looked around Susie to whisper to me, âAre you going to be looking at my girlfriendâs coochie?â
I whispered back, âAre you going to be looking at your sisterâs?â He only gave me a stupid grin in return while Hannah punched me.
It seemed much longer than the actual minute or two when Vicky announced, âIt looks like weâre not going to do this, maybe it wasnât such a good idea after all â Shawn!â
He just muttered, âAh, what the fuckâŠâ as we all sat back down.
That kind of killed the buzz and soon we were all picking up our empty cans and packing to go home. I had been intending on having Hannah go back with Dave and Susie, but I wasnât too comfortable with his level of sobriety and invited her to ride with me instead.
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I had been hoping to spend some time Saturday afternoon back in the woods by Hannahâs house, hiking some trails with her even if I would have brought along my transistor radio in order to keep tabs on the Pirates and Pittâs season opener.
Unfortunately, Mother Nature didnât cooperate, as a steady drizzle and temps that didnât even hit sixty kept me in doors all day. The Bucs beat the Mets to keep a slim half game lead over the Expos, and freshman quarterback Dan Marino debuted in a twenty four-nothing spanking of Kansas.
All that sporting news kept me in a good mood as Mom and I headed out for Saturday night bowling. Once there I settled in, greeting our teammates Ronnie and then Katie and her dad as they arrived. I was psyched for a good night and opened great with a two-seventeen in my first game.
Midway through the second game I was standing near the back wall, deeply concentrating on my bowling as I watched the others take their turns on the lanes, when Katie slid in next to me. I acknowledged her with a polite, âHey, how ya doin?
She looked over at me, then caught me a little off guard with âCan I ask you something?â
âYeah, sure.â
So of course she asked the big one â âAre you seeing anyone?â
I looked at her, paused, bit my lip, and finally answered, âYeahâŠâ
âWell, your mom told my dad that you werenâtâŠâ
Did that mean my mother was trying to set me up? I was in need of some quick thinking. âUm – I have been seeing someone for about six weeks now, but my parents donât know about it yet.â
âOh, whyâs that?â
I could feel the demon on one shoulder and the angel on the other, both whispering in an ear. Katie was practically asking me out, and being with her would have none of the baggage that existed in my relationship with Hannah â but I loved Hannah, I was happy with Hannah, even if it was in secret, and I certainly didnât want to break her heart. I was getting tired of saying it, but the only explanation I could offer Katie was, âItâs – complicated.â
âOh. O.K. Well â itâs your time to bowl.â
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Tess and Docâs TV, at near thirty five inches, was a good excuse to spend Steelersâ Sunday over at my auntâs house where we could root on our team in a crowd, and gave me some extra time hanging out with Hannah, even if it was mostly platonic.
That week the game was in St. Louis and didnât start until four, so until then I hung out in my room listening to the Pirates, who went down to the Mets three to nothing and fell into a first place tie.
The Steelers tried their best to totally ruin the day, entering the fourth quarter down twenty one to seven to the Cardinals, but a Rocky Bleier run and a Terry Bradshaw pass tied the game, allowing Matt Bahr to kick the game winning field goal as time expired.
As if that wasnât enough fun, as soon as the game was over, Dave, Susie, Hannah and I were heading over to the drive-in to catch a couple movies. They rarely showed any first runs, so we would be treated by The Life of Brian and Apocalypse Now, both of which had been out since mid-summer.
Daveâs new wheels were a couple yearâs old hatch back which was in pretty good shape, and definitely had more inside room than my Pinto – starting with actual back doors. On top of that, the back seats folded down, and with some padding would allow two adult sized people to stretch out in the back and do whatever comes to mind. I made a mental note to ask my parents if I could trade in the Pinto.
Before the first movie got started, we all went to the concession stand and got drinks and a couple big tubs of popcorn with lots of butter while Hannah got herself some candy.
Back at the car we spread out a pair of blankets on the ground in front of the car and settled in to watch the movie. Hannah refused to share any of her Sno-Caps. I tried the sad face and even pinched her butt, but that only got me punched in return.
I loved the Holy Grail which had come out a few years earlier but I wasnât quite sure what to make of this movie as we watched the opening scenes. I was skeptical how the baby in the manger and the Sermon on the Mount would fit into the Pythonâs edgy, lampooning comedy.
Hannah leaned over to whisper, âYou think these guys are funny? I donât know about this.â
I thought about what I had seen to that point, then said âIt looks like theyâre not making fun of Jesus, but instead of Christians, or those that say that they are. They were very respectful in how they showed his manger, or the sermon, but the jokes were about the people in the back who couldnât hear â or the healed leper who was upset because he couldnât work as a beggar anymore.â
I did laugh out loud when Brian was painting âRomans Go Homeâ on the temple wall, and instead of arresting him, the centurion corrected Brianâs Latin grammar and told him to write the correct phrase one hundred times!
It wasnât long before Susie got up and led Dave by the hand over to the front seat of the car. It was getting a little cooler outside but I suppose she had other reasons for wanting to be out of sight.
That didnât stop Hannah from later giving my crotch a little pat while telling me, âIâve got my own friend called Biggus Dickus!â
We both laid down on the blanket, with her head on my right shoulder while she absent mindedly ran her fingers over my chest.
After Brian found himself accidentally in the row of prophets, he had to ad-lib something to the gathered crowd, and went on about how one must not believe everything they are told and instead must think about and figure out things for themselves.
Without moving her head from my shoulder, Hannah asked, âDo you believe in God?â
Quickly I answered, âYeah.â
âWell you donât go to church.â
I paused to collect my thoughts, then responded, âI used to, up until I was twelve or thirteen. I still believe in God, and I try to be a good person, but I just got sort of bored with going to church.â
âDo you think he likes what weâre doing?â
That scared me a little, hoping that it wasnât a sign that she was having second thoughts. âI know weâre supposed to wait until weâre married to have sex, but people fall in love, and weâve only ever done it with each other, so itâs not like weâre sluts or anything.â
âWell, weâre still lying to our parents.â
âI know, I know – weâll do something.â
Soon the movie ended as Eric Idle hung on his cross next to Brian, from where he serenaded him with
Life’s a piece of shit
When you look at it
For life is quite absurd
And death’s the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin – give the audience a grin
Enjoy it – it’s your last chance anyhow.
So always look on the bright side of lifeâŠ
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
During intermission we all stood in line to take a piss, then once back at the car Hannah said to me, âItâs getting a little chilly out, do you want to get in the car?â
In the back seat, Hannah and I had to huddle near the middle in order to see the movie screen between Dave and Susieâs front seats.
Soon the jungles of Vietnam were aflame to the sounds of Jim Morrison, followed by Martin Sheen sitting alone in a hotel room wondering why the fuck he was there.
Soon enough Sheenâs character was off the H.Q. to be briefed on his mission, and thatâs when I had to whisper to Hannah, âHan Solo!â
âWhat? Where?â
âThe dorky looking guy with the short hair and the glasses â thatâs Harrison Ford!â
It was thirty some minutes into the movie and it seemed like his mission to bring back the war criminal Major Kurtz was an excuse to show this surreal journey through the landscape and the way Coppola portrayed the war as inanity. To no one in particular, I said out loud âHeart of Darkness.â
Hannah, who had her head on my right shoulder, looked up to ask, âWhatâs that?â
âOh, itâs a book I read in high school, from around the turn of the century â a novel about a guy going up the Congo River in Africa back in the colonial days in the eighteen hundreds, looking at what the Europeans had done to the natives, and comparing what we consider civilized and barbaric. It looks like heâs just doing the same story here, but set in Vietnam.â
She said, âWow, thatâs interestingâ but at the same time didnât appeared to be too interested in the movie. She curled back up on my shoulder and started letting her hand explore my chest and belly, pulling my shirt out of my pants so she could slip her hand inside and play with the hairs near my belly button.
A few minutes after that, Hannah had undone my belt and unsnapped my pants, and then had her hand inside my boxers. As she began to squeeze and stroke me, one of her finger nails scraped the soft skin of my growing cock, causing me to cry âOuch, be careful!â
Hannah quickly put her finger to her mouth and went âShhh!â but Susie had already asked âWhat are you guys doing back there?â as she turned to look back at us.
Hannah snapped, âJust look straight ahead and watch the movie!â which Susie did.
Saved from embarrassment, I too continued to watch the screen as Hannah softly stroked and fondled me. As I relaxed and enjoyed her touch, my mind wandered back a few weeks. I chuckled softly, then whispered to Hannah, âOn the way back from the reunion, my mom warned me to be careful – that you might try to seduce me.â
She dropped my cock and yelled, âWhat? The HELL!â
I cried out, âWait! Whatâs the matter?â as her reaction caught me by surprise.
This time Susie did turn all the way back to check on the commotion, and seeing my erection pointed straight up squealed, âOh my God!â
âShe told you not to look!â
Dave did keep himself from looking into the back seat, but asked, âWhat happened?â
Very sarcastically Hannah answered, âHis mom told him I was going to seduce him!â
âWhoa! Did she say anything else?â
âThere was a little more,â I hesitated, âthat Hannah had been caught with an older boy, and that if I wasnât careful I could get in trouble.â
Hannah looked even more pissed as she nearly shouted, âI canât believe she did that!â
Susie had her eyes back to straight ahead when she asked, âbut Joe, how does your mom know about stuff like that, and â wait a minute,â looking at Dave, âI thought you guys went to the reunion a couple weeks ago!â
I took a deep breath and exhaled. âThey did â and, we did too. Their mom and my mom are sisters.â
âHold on â so – you guys are like â cousins? God, youâre a kinky bastard!â
âHey, Iâm nothing compared to your boyfriend there â but, itâs not like that, we just, you know, met and fell in love. Iâd just as soon not be her cousin if it, likeâŠmeant we could get married and live happily ever after.â
Hannah looked up at me and asked softly, âSo youâd marry me?â
I quickly said, âWell, not right nowâŠâ then realized that didnât sound good all. I had to think quickly to get myself out of the hole. âI mean, youâd have to finish school nâat before we did – but yeah.â
Susie whispered to Dave, âHe might be bigger than you!â but he just jokingly snapped back âShut up! Itâs how you use it.â
Hannah hugged me with one arm and laid her head on my chest, not speaking for several minutes. It was hard to tell in the darkness, but I thought she might be crying.
After all of us sitting quietly for so long, I realized I was still hanging, half-erect, out of my boxers. I whispered to Hannah, âAre you going to finish me?â
She looked up defiantly and said, âNo â I donât want to be blamed if your mom finds any cum stains on your underwear.â
âPlease donât be that way â I didnât want you to be upset.â
âThen just donât say anything.â
Those were the last words any of us spoke for quite a while, and soon both the girls were asleep. It was after eleven and Sheen still hadnât found Brando out in the woods. I thought, this movie is taking fucking forever.
After another twenty minutes or so Dave asked, âJoe, do you want to stay until the end? I got school in the morning and both the girls are out.â
âNah, we can go if you want.â
Hannah woke up as Dave was driving out the gravel road back to the street. I put my arm around her, then later gave her a good night kiss in the car and out of sight, before I walked her to the door. Once she was inside, I went to my car to head home, while Dave had to go to Susieâs to drop her off.
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It bugged me all day Monday at school that Hannah was upset, and I made sure to call her right after I got home. âHey, Aunt Tess, can I talk to Hannah?â
âYeah, sure â HANNAH! Itâs Joe!â
A minute later the line clicked as she picked up the phone in her parentâs bedroom. âI got it, mom.â We waited for the second click of the kitchen phone hanging up, then she said into the phone, âWhatâs up?â
âI was checking to see how youâre doing. I hated to see you upset like that.â
Very flatly she said âIâll be fine.â
I was learning how to listen to women and I knew that wasnât exactly the truth. I asked, âWanna do lunch on Wednesday? I canât wait to see you again!â in an effort to cheer her up.
She paused, then said âYeah, O.K., I think that will be good.â
âGreat, see you then, donât worry about things.â
âThanks, see ya.â
Still, I felt very restless with the thought of not seeing her again for another day and a half. In the mean time, I would occupy myself with the Pirates, as they were heading into Montreal tied for the lead with the Expos.
The game was nothing until the top of the third when Omar Moreno led off with a single, stole second, was bunted to third, and scored and Dave Parkerâs single to right field. In the fifth, the Piratesâ pitcher Don Robinson led off with a hit and two outs later Parker again singled in another run. The Expos got a run on a double and a single in the bottom of the fifth, but that was it for the rest of the game as Robinson threw a complete game to best Montrealâs ace Steve Rogers two to one.
The next day at school I had a chance to share my Bucs euphoria with Dan as we played Asteroids in the basement of the student union.
Tuesday night the Pirates got a quick lead with three in the top of the first on four singles and an error, but the Expos scored a pair in the third and one in the sixth to tie it, as after that first inning Bill Lee and Woody Fryman proceeded to throw up a bunch of zeroes.
My heart was pounding through the ninth and tenth innings, the tension breaking free with a loud shout as Willie Stargell crushed a two run homer in the eleventh which was the margin in a Pirates five-three win, putting them two games ahead with only thirteen left to play.
The Pirates sweep of the two games in Montreal had me in a great mood heading towards lunch with Hannah on Wednesday, almost forgetting the tension that had arisen between us on Sunday. I could only hope that she was as well recovered.
As usual, we met out by the patch of trees. I greeted her with a short kiss, then we walked hand in hand towards the student union. In late September, it was still sunny but brisk as the temperature barely broke sixty after having been in the mid seventies for several days.
âFeeling better yet?â
She tightened her mouth and looked down at the ground as she said, âYeah, but I wasnât really mad at you, Iâm sorry for being so mean.â
âItâs O.K., Iâll get over it.â
She looked at me, and sounding annoyed replied, âWhat really ticks me off, still, is that my mom would tell those things to your mom, and that they donât trust me.â
We stopped outside the doors of the diner. I put my hands on her waist, looked deep in her eyes, and told her, âWell, I love you and I will stick up for you, no matter what.â
Hannah kissed me and we hugged each other for a minute before she complained of the chill wind and we went inside to eat.
After twenty minutes of food and small talk I was walking her back to her school. As we stopped at the road, I asked, âVolleyball on Friday?â
Her eyes lit up, and she said, âYeah, Iâd like that, I need some fun.â
I mockingly asked, âSo Iâm not fun enough?â
She laughed and punched me in the arm, then said, âOh, you know what I mean!â We kissed one last time before she made her way across the street.
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When I got to Database, and after the Piratesâ sweep in Montreal, Dan ran up to tell me about a song he had written to the tune of The Devil Went Down To Georgia. My mission, should I choose to accept it, was to get through on the phone to Roy Fox on KDKA in Pittsburgh and read it on the air before the Expos came to town next week.
Unfortunately, the Pirates were doing their best to not cooperate. They lost two of three in Philadelphia, then fell two-nothing in Chicago on Friday afternoon game. After being in first place every day since we were at the stadium for Milnerâs grand slam, they now found themselves a game back with only ten to go. My stomach was in knots.
On the way to volleyball, Hannah asked, âWhatâs the matter? Youâre awful quiet.â
âThe Pirates lost again today, and now theyâre out of first and thereâs only a week left in the season.â
Teasingly she said, âHey, I love baseball â but itâs only baseball!â
In mock outrage I shot back, âWhat? Bite your tongue! Anything short of winning the World Series is a failed season, and they havenât even been in the playoffs for three years now. This is it, they can do it!â
âYeah, but no need to give yourself gray hairs worrying about it!â
I laughed and said, âYeah, I guess â well, whatâs up with you, things looking up?â
She sighed, then said, âWell, yes and no. Things have been fine at home, but after lunch on Wednesday a couple ninth grade girls who were smoking out in the parking lot saw me kiss you and gave me some crap about it.â
âWhat did you say?â
In a lilting sarcasm she said, âI told them they only wish they could look good to a college guy!â
I still sounded a little concerned as I asked, âAre you worried they might be saying stuff about you?â
âWell, they only saw us kissing, itâs not like we were making out or anything!â
I waited outside the girlâs locker room for Hannah to exit after finishing her post-volleyball shower. Once she arrived, I really admired the way she looked with her still slightly damp hair swept back. I went a little longer that usual for a âhello kissâ, then pinched her butt as I pulled away and told her âWow, you really look extra hot tonight!â
âWell, just watch your hands, buster!â
I asked, âHowâs this?â as I slid my fingers between hers, holding hands as we walked out of the sports center.
As before, we had about an hour and a half before her curfew, and Hannah looked up at me and asked, âAre there any parties going on tonight?â
âProbably, letâs walk up by the townhouses.â We didnât have to go far to see a half dozen or so people with cups in their hands standing near a doorway.
There was a guy at the door who said, âTwo dollar cover with student I.D.â as we got within a few feet.
I handed him four ones and my photo I.D. card. He pointed at a legal pad and said, âSign here. Then he asked Hannah, âWhereâs your I.D.?â
I answered, âSheâs my girlfriend, but she doesnât go to school here.â
He looked up for a second and sighed, then told her, âJust scribble your name on the paper.â
The first floor of the townhouse was filled with smoke, music, people and conversation. I led Hannah to the kitchen where there was a keg, a stack of plastic cups, and plates of chips and pretzels. I asked her, âHow many times have you been out drinking?â
âNot many â since we moved here theyâve all been with you. Whyâd you ask?â
âI want to make sure you know your limit. For me, three cups is enough to get me a buzz, then I sip the fourth one the rest of the night to make it look like Iâm still drinking.â
âO.K., maybe Iâll stick to two tonight, since we only have an hour or so.â
I filled a cup for each of us and then led her back out to the living room. Every other time I had been to one of these, which had been most every weekend, I had arrived by myself but hoping to leave with someone. That was the first time I arrived with a date, which called for a new game plan. Instead of chatting with some of the guys I knew while I attempted to gather the courage to speak to any reasonably attractive female, I dropped into an empty spot on the couch and pulled Hannah down onto my lap.
We both listened to the music and sipped on beer while we exchanged quiet comments about the people we saw milling around us. After squirming around on my lap a couple times, Hannah noticed the growing hardness inside my slacks. She gave me a sly smile and asked, âOh, does Herman miss me?â
Herman? I asked myself. Oh well. I whispered in her ear, âYeah, I think he does. How long has it been since youâve had an orgasm?â
âAbout twenty four hours!â
I laughed then added, âNo, I mean with someone else.â
âWho said I was alone?â
I grabbed her waist and startled tickling, and immediately Hannah squealed and jumped in surprise, spilling some of her beer on my pants. Looking at my pants and then at me, she asked sarcastically, âI suppose youâre gonna want me to clean that up?â
I smirked as I suggested, âYou can lick it off!â
Hannah got a really big smile as she teased, âIâd rather lick whatâs underneath!â
âOh my, youâve got a dirty little mind!â
She took a more serious tone as she asked, âMy mind is not little, but seriously, is there any place private around here?â
I nodded towards the stairs and said, âI think these have three bedrooms upstairs.â
She grabbed my arm, and staring straight in my eyes said, âDid you bring your rubbers?â
âOoh, that sounds even better!â I teased.
Slowly, and a little louder, she repeated, âI said, you got any rubbers?â
âYes, always!â
She nodded downwards and said, âCheck to make sure!â
âYes dear!â I pulled my wallet out of my left pocket then said, âSee!â as I held up the foil pack I retrieved from inside the wallet.
Hannah jumped off my lap and said, âGreat! Letâs go!â as she reached back to take my hand.
We made our way up the steps to find a handful of people milling around in the hallway. One door opened, which turned out to be the bathroom, and one of those who had been waiting took his turn to relieve himself.
I said âHi!â to no one in particular as we both stood in the line sipping our beers. After a couple minutes a different door opened and a smiling couple emerged, hand in hand.
I whispered, âThere!â to Hannah and the couple was barely clear of the door before we squeezed past and into the room.
From the way the room was decorated, there must have been a bunch of chicks who lived in this townhouse unit â but my attention was on the young lady in front of me who already had her shirt and pants off and faced me in only her panties and her 32B bra.
I turned back to make sure the door was closed and locked, then threw off my own shirt before I wrapped my arms around may waiting lover. My tongue pushed past her lips and after a few seconds my hands went to unsnapping her bra.
With her then bare-chested, I cupped each of her breasts in my hands, then dropped my head down to take a nipple into my mouth. She wasted no time in unfastening my belt and pants, then pushed both my pants and boxers to my ankles where I kicked them off.
On her knees, she took me into her mouth, her tongue generating waves of bliss as I slid in and out. It felt great but it really wasnât what I was after at that moment. I pulled her up and said, âGet your pants off, and let me return the favor!â
Naked, Hannah sat on the end of the bed and laid back. She took a look around at the room and asked me, âSo whoâs bed is this?â
âI donât know, and I really donât care right now!â I dropped to me knees and spread her legs to give my face room to fit between her thighs. She grabbed my hair and was moaning, âYes, yes!â as my tongue found her clit. I sucked on it and slid a finger inside her as she continued to thrust herself into my face.
Once I was satisfied that she was sufficiently wet, I got the wrapper from my pants, opened it, and stood between Hannahâs legs while I rolled the condom over my six and a half rock hard inches.
She slid up on the bed and I got on my knees between her thighs. I placed the tip of my latex covered cock at her entrance and slowly pushed myself inside. Maybe two inches at a time, then back out, then in even deeper.
Hannah pulled my face down so she could jab her hard tongue between my lips the same as my hips were pistoning between hers. She wrapped her ankles behind my back to try to pull me in as deep as possible. With each stroke Iâd pull nearly out, then slam down until my balls bounced off her ass.
I loved to watch her face during sex â she just looked so beautiful and I enjoyed knowing that it was me who was creating all the expressions on that face.
She squealed and squeaked as each of my thrusts and the weight of my body on hers forced air from her lungs. I could tell she was getting close as she scratched my back with her nails as she moaned, âOh God yes!â
I thought I heard the door knob rattle behind me but I was too busy coming close to my own climax. I heard the noise again as Hannah yelled, âOh God, oh God â OH SHIT!â
As her body stiffened in orgasm, I heard a female voice behind me yell, âWhat the fuck? This is my room!â
I was shooting my own load into my condom, then as I came down from the high I looked back to see wide eyes set in a very red face. The best that I could think of to say was, âIâm sorry, but itâs not like we were the first ones in here tonight!â
That didnât seem to make her any happier. âJust hurry up and get dressed. Iâll wait outside.â
As the door closed behind me I looked down at Hannah, laying underneath me during the whole exchange. She whispered to me, âOh my God, she saw me doing it with you!â
âWell, unless sheâs a dyke I think most of what she got to see was my ass!â
âGosh, Godâs gift to women and it took you until nineteen to get one in bed!â
I said, âCâmon, letâs get cleaned up and get out of hereâ as I went to the waste basket to hide my used rubber. By the time I turned back Hannah was dressed and I then threw my clothes back on as quickly as possible.
When we left the room the young lady who resided there was in the hall with her arms crossed, tapping her foot on the floor. That I expected, but both Hannah and I turned beet red when everyone else in the hallway started applauding our appearance.
We headed straight out the door when we got to the bottom of the steps. Once outside, I started laughing at the absurdity of it all. Hannah hit me in the arm and said, âWhat is so funny?â
I continued walking towards the sports center parking lot as I responded, âAh, câmon â youâre the one who blew me in the menâs room and laughed about not getting caught, and now youâre going to get all uptight when we did get caught?â
She sounded honestly afraid as she replied, âBut they saw us having sex â they saw me naked! What if they start talking?â
I tried to sound reassuring as I explained, âOne â I donât think anyone saw much of you with my big ass on top of you and two â no one here knows who you are. If anything, theyâd be talking about me!â
As we continued to walk, she sounded somewhere between sarcastic and teasing as she asked, âSo Iâm going to be some notch on your bedpost you can brag about?â
It did sound somewhat boastful as I replied, âI have to be honest, some people are going to see me differently now, but you arenât some notch, youâre my only notch!â
âYeah, and it better stay that way, once all the girls hear about Joe the Stud.â
âYou know me, Iâm not that kind of person.â
âI hope so.â
I held her hand most of the drive back to her house and gave her a nice, sloppy wet kiss before we left the car. I told her, âThank you for a very wonderful and exciting evening!â
âShut up and walk me to the door!â
All in all, I thought it was a hoot. Of course I loved every chance to make out with my girlfriend, but I thought that just maybe Iâd lose my reputation as the shy, virginal nerd.
I got home midway through the eleven oâclock news, then my parents and I all went to bed after Johnny Carsonâs monologue. As I was staring at the ceiling, basking in the glow of what had happened just more than an hour earlier, I could hear my parents getting into it on the other side of the wall.
Mom was a screamer, and between her moans and squeals, the rhythmic squeaking of their bed springs and the fresh memory of Hannah, it took no time for me to have a handful of hard cock. I timed my strokes and squeezes just right, so that my warm seed spread over my hand at the same time as my motherâs throaty growls signaled her orgasm in the adjacent bedroom.
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Saturday afternoon Pittâs game with North Carolina was on the radio at noon, but their offense just wasnât in rhythm as they lost seventeen-seven, evening their record at one and one.
The Piratesâ game was on T.V. and started at two-thirty out in Chicago. They played a solid game, building a three to nothing lead after five, and held on for a four-one victory â but they were still a half game back of the Expos at the end of the day.
After supper Mom and I headed out to the bowling alley. It was a typical night, I was bowling well, and was spending time between frames watching âScholastic Quizâ on the T.V. Katie came over a few times, watching as I tried to answer the toss-up questions before any of the players on the two high school teams, as the show was broadcast live from the studio a couple of miles down the street.
During a commercial break Katie said to me, âIâm impressed, how do you know all that stuff?â
I couldnât help boast just a little, as I explained in detail, âActually Iâm much better at history and science, and I suck at lit – I hardly ever read any fiction. Iâve watched âJeopardyâ ever since I was little, and I was on my high school quiz team for three years and Iâve been on the college team both of my years there.â
Katie reached out and lightly touched my arm as she replied, âLike I said, really impressive.â
Just then I heard a woman call out âMeredith!â and I looked to my right to see Aunt Tess about halfway down to our end of the lanes, with all three kids trailing behind her. I looked to Mom as she approached her sister, and heard Tess say, âWe were on this hill for dinner on this hill and I thought Iâd stop in to say hello!â
When my eyes turned back to my three cousins, Hannah was staring at me with a wide eyed, open mouth look of horror on her face. She was frozen for a few seconds, then turned and ran to the exit.
I rushed over to tell Mom, âIâll be right backâ, then I myself ran to the exit in pursuit of Hannah.
She was standing in the parking lot, just outside the door, sobbing and shivering in the cool night air.
I reached for her, asking âHannah, whatâs the matter?â but she just shot back with âDonât touch me!â
I was stunned and confused as I pleaded, âWhat?â
Hannah had her hands on her hips and was nearly shouting, âWHAT? What are you doing with that girl in there?â
I continued to plead, âSheâs someone I bowl with. Thereâs nothing going on! We were just talking!â
âJUST TALKING? You couldnât take your eyes off her tits! And she had her hand on your arm!â
âHonest â I already told her Iâm seeing someone!â
Sarcastically she replied, âWhy, did she ask you?â
âWellâŠyeah. But I told her I was taken, and I am â I love you, and I donât think about her that way.â Well, that was a lie, considering the time I pictured Katie under me as I was in the middle of fucking Hannah.
âBullshit.â
Damn it, I thought, she must have really been pissed, because she never swore unless she was drunk, or really mad, or both. âAh, câmon – I have to go back in, but we need to talk about this â and you need to get yourself together before your mom wants to know whatâs wrong.â
âI donât want to talk, and I donât think you should come over to watch the Steelersâ game tomorrow. I donât want to see you right now.â
âPlease?â
âNo, just leave me alone.â
I ran back in to find that the rest of the team was waiting for me to throw my frame. I apologized, but couldnât concentrate very well and pulled the ball left for only three pins. The second ball was a little better, but I failed to convert the spare.
Done with my frame, I quickly went to the back seats and sat, staring at the floor. Katie came up next to me and asked, âWas thatâŠâ and I cut her off with a stern âYes.â
She paused, then asked, âWas that because of you and me?â
âYes.â
âShe seems a little youngâŠâ
I snapped my head towards Katie and stared right through her as I tried to hold back my tears.
âYeah, right â none of my business. I think I have to go bowl.â
I donât think I said a word the rest of the time I was in the lanes. I knew I wasnât going to be able to avoid Mom on the way home, as she asked, âWhat was that thing with Hannah? Why are you so upset?â
I knew I wasnât going to be able to lie my way out of it, but I hoped Iâd be able to leave out just enough of the gory details. âHannah got jealous when she saw me with Katie.â
âI told you to be careful around her.â
âItâs not her fault, Mom, weâre good friends â but yes, apparently she thought there was more there. It was really hard to get her calm, because I didnât want to hurt her feelings. I still want to be friends with her.â
âGod, just be careful Joe. I donât want to see either of you get hurt.â
====================================================
As great as I had felt the night before, that night felt like I had my heart ripped out. I fell asleep with tears in my eyes as I was trying to figure out how to make things right with Hannah.
I knew I dreamed but I couldnât remember any of them, just that it had been a restless night. So of course I didnât feel much better when I woke on Sunday morning. I took a long hot shower, but once back in my room I couldnât find anything to interest me. I wanted to talk to Dan, but he wasnât home from church yet. I didnât want to watch âMeet the Pressâ and the only thing on the radio was church services and polka music. I dug through my box of cassettes to see if there was anything that might interest me, and settled on Fleetwood Macâs Rumours.
The music failed to distract me from my thoughts, as I found myself flat on my back, staring at the ceiling and trying to start a conversation with God. I knew Hannah was pissed but didnât see where anything was really my fault. I had told Katie that I had a girlfriend, but that shouldnât mean I couldnât talk to her. I thought Hannah was overboard in her reaction, but didnât want to tell her that in fear that sheâd get even more angry.
Finally the clock struck noon and I got on the phone to Dan. He was eager to ask me, âYou gonna call Roy Fox tomorrow?â
âYeah, I hope I get through â Iâve been practicing.â
Once I was sure my parents werenât in earshot I swung the conversation around to what had happened with Hannah.. His ââŠand how many girlfriends have I had?â response wasnât much help. At that point I was thinking all my friends must have been gay or nerds.
Once the one oâclock kickoff neared, I went to the T.V. room and my fatherâs âYouâre gracing us with your presence?â response was as sarcastic as ever. He grabbed one of his latest shooting magazines and went downstairs to read it while Mom turned the T.V. and I settled in on the love seat to watch the game.
The Steelers didnât provide much excitement, as I sat there quietly watching for most of the first two and a half hours of the game. I wasnât on my feet and screaming until there was only a minute left in the game, when Terry Bradshaw hit his tight end Bennie Cunningham with a twenty eight yard touchdown pass to give Pittsburgh a seventeen to thirteen come from behind win, and a still perfect four and oh won loss record.
The victory had lifted my spirits somewhat, but I still wasnât looking forward to laying around my room for rest of the day. I grabbed my coat and transistor radio and told Mom that Iâd be back by six.
I always enjoyed roaming the woods by myself, and although I usually limited myself to a few acres up the street from us, that day I decided to go exploring.
Back in high school, in P.A. history class, we had learned about the first Negro settlement in town, dating back to the eighteen twenties. There was supposed to be an old homestead up on the side of the mountain at the west end of town. A while before I had found the likely location on my topographic map, but I had never taken the time to go hunting for it.
The Piratesâ game had started at two-thirty out in Chicago, and by the time I got it on the car radio they were in the fourth inning and already ahead six to nothing. Rick Reuschel was knocked out of the game and Dave Geisel, who had been born in our town, was on for the Cubs.
I drove past the Slovak cemetery and followed the gravel road straight up the mountain. After another half mile or so it ended in a clearing with a house maybe a hundred yards to the right. I put the transistor on the Piratesâ game, put it in my shirt pocket, and started my hike up the ancient road in front of me.
It had originally been a military road built by the British before the revolution. They dug out a roadbed and filled it with large stone slabs for the wagon wheels to run over. By the latter part of the twentieth century nature had reclaimed most of the road, but itâs path was easy to follow â except for when I slipped on a moss covered slab and landed in a puddle.
I had been heading up hill for nearly a mile when the woods opened into a large clearing on the left side of the road. There was a fair sized pond on the other side, and I spotted the blue and red color of the four American flags which had been placed, every Memorial Day, on the graves of Civil War soldiers. Two of those graves were marked, John Brown and John Smith, both members of the 4th PA Colored Calvary, Grand Army of the Republic. There were dozens more field stones in the small cemetery, but none bore more than initials.
I sat and pondered what it must have been like for those people living in apparent isolation, having to come down off the mountain to interact with their white neighbors. I recalled that the land had stayed in their hands until the state had taken it over for game lands in the nineteen fifties. Being on the east facing side of the mountain, the sun was fading earlier than usual and soon I made my way back to the car and back home.
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Back at class on Monday, Michelle asked, âWhatâs up? You donât look very happyâ when I arrived at Linear Algebra.
I sighed and blurted out âOh, girlfriend problems.â
She put her hand on my arm and tried to sound reassuring with, âIâm sorry, Iâm sure things will work out.â
I felt the warmth of her touch as I replied, âYeah, I hope so.â
I began to wonder what I would be like without Hannah, but just the thought made me fight back tears. I looked around the room at Linda, Melanie and a couple of others, then recalled Michelleâs touch a few minutes before, and asked myself if I would be any better at relaxing and opening up around girls.
After class Dan came over and said, âHey lover boy, snap out of it – want to play some air hockey?â
âSure, itâll feel good to kick someoneâs ass.â
We skipped lunch and went straight to the game room. I tried valiantly, but Dan took two out of the three games.
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There were eight games left in the last seven days of the season. The Pirates were still a half game behind the Expos as the two teams were set to start a double header at six p.m. in Pittsburgh. KDKA moved their five oâclock new up to three-thirty and Roy Fox had his talk show rescheduled to four-thirty to five-thirty.
Right at four-thirty I was on the floor, leaning up against the wall on my parentâs room as my fingers feverishly dialed the eleven numbers required for a long distance call. It was always busy, busy, busyâŠuntil fifteen minutes in when I got a ring!
I told the producer I wanted to read a poem about the Pirates and was put in the queue. I listened to other callers in the handset of my phone for ten minutes before the volume picked up as I heard, âGo ahead caller, youâre on KDKA.â
I swallowed and tried to remain calm. âHi Roy, I wanted to read these lyrics my friend wrote, to the tune of âThe Devil Went Down to Georgiaâ.â
âSure, go ahead.â
I took a deep breath and let âer rip â
Dick Williams went down to Pittsburgh,
he was looking for a pennant to steal.
He was in a bind, because he was way behind,
and he was willing to make a deal.
When he came across this young team,
Sitting on a lead and playing it hot.
And then Williams jumped up on the dugout step
And said Boys, let me tell you what
You probably didnât know it
But weâre a pretty good team too
And if you care to take a dare
Iâll just make a bet with you
Now you play a pretty good baseball, boys
But give the Expos their due
Iâll bet a pennant of gold against your soul
That says weâre better than you â
The man said, My nameâs Tanner
And it might be a sin
But I’m gonna take your bet, you’re gonna regret
Cause weâre the best there’s ever been
Cobra loosen up your bat and play that defense hard
âCause hellâs broke loose in Pittsburgh
and the Expos deal the cardsâŠ
It went on for another two verses before I could relax to the thanks from the radio host. Five minutes later Dan called to gush his congratulations.
The Expos scored a pair in the top of the first off Blyleven and rode their two nothing lead for six innings until Bill Robinson tied it with a two run homer â and then a walk, a steal and an error put the Bucs ahead for good., cruising to a five to two victory that put them back in first place.
Between games I ran down to the kitchen to dial up my auntâs house. Hannah answered, and nervously I paused before asking, âCan we talk?â
âNot now.â
God, I thought, I didnât want to sound pushy or desperate. I asked again, âHow about Wednesday?â
âI donât think so.â My heart was sinking before she continued, âLetâs go out on Friday, I want more time than just a half an hour.â
Given a reprieve, I replied, âThanks, Iâll see you then. I love you.â
She responded with a monotone, âI love you too.â
The Pirates dropped the second game of the double header and were once again half of a game back, but then with only six to play.
Since school started, and with us going to different ones (even if they were across the street from each other), it wasnât like we got to see each other all the time anyway â sometimes on a Wednesday or a Friday or a Sunday. Never the less, I imagined it would be a long week without her, even if things promised to look up at the end.
The Pirates helped by storming back to thrash the Expos ten-one and ten-four. Even with a loss to the Cardinals on Thursday, the Pirates still held a game lead heading into the final weekend, home to the Cubs.
====================================================
By the time I got to Hannahâs house on Friday, the Pirates had already chased Rick Reuschel again, sitting on a five-nothing lead in the fourth. It was with the same giddy optimism that I greeted her with at the door.
On the way to campus she turned down the game on the radio, looked to me and asked, âDo you mind if we donât go to volleyball tonight? Maybe we can just hang out and catch a party?â
I gave her a half smile and a shrug, and said, âYeah, sure, thatâs fine.â
We were taking a leisurely stroll among the residence halls, hand in hand, when she asked, âDo you love me?â
I stopped and turned so I could say, âYeah, of course I do!â straight to her face.
âWhy do you love me?â
I thought, oh God, another of these touchy-feely sessions â but I did love her, and didnât want to lose her, so I was able to state confidently, âI am happy when I make you happy. Iâm sad when you are sad. I just want to please you, thatâs what makes my heart warm.â
She stood her ground, with hands on hips as she continued, âAnd youâre not ashamed of me?â
âNo! Why?â I pleaded.
âI mean, like, youâll tell anyone that Iâm your girlfriend.â
âOf course!â
âEven our parents?â
I just stammered, âOhhh, yeah, wellâŠâ
I kept wanting to look away, avert her eyes, as she had the saddest look on her face. Finally she just said, âCâmon, letâs go get drunk.â
âI canât take you home drunk.â
âOh, whatever.â
Soon we spotted and joined a line outside the basement entrance to one of the fraternity lodges. I forked over the four dollars and Hannah claimed she left her student I.D. in her room. Once inside we both grabbed a cup of brew then proceeded to wind our way through the growing crowd.
We literally almost ran over Jason, a guy I played with over the summer, and quickly the two of us were chatting it up abut the Pirates. A minute or so into the conversation I felt a slap on my arm and looked over to see Hannah shrugging her shoulders. âOh, Iâm sorry â Jason, this is my girlfriend Hannah.â
She looked at Jason and said, âIâm glad he remembered.â
He extended his hand and replied, âPleased to meet you â I think I saw you at some of the games this summer.â
Jason smiled at me when she added, âYeah, I like baseball too!â
We met a few more people and I made it a point to stop and introduce Hannah right away, and to give her a chance to join the conversations. She held her own discussing sports and politics, but steered clear of commenting on her phantom campus life.
By the time I was on my third beer I definitely needed to piss. I told Hannah, âI have to take a leak, donât go anywhere!â
It had to have been another ten minutes that I was waiting in line outside the door, at which point my bladder was ready to bust.
Once I was relieved I started working my way through the crowd to get back to Hannah. As I entered the main room in the basement I stopped in my tracks when I saw Hannah, about fifteen feet away, sitting on the arm of the couch, deep in conversation with some guy. She was gazing up into his eyes while he ran his fingers over her shoulder and upper arm.
I resumed my pace and in a few seconds came up from behind Hannah and took position beside her. Once she saw me, she said, âHey Joe, this is Darren.â
I responded with a simple, gruff, âHeyâ while I slid my hand onto Hannahâs far shoulder and played with her hair.
Darren look at me for a second then said, âHey, well, nice to meet youâ as he shuffled off.
Hannah turned to me and said, âWell that was rude.â
I didnât want to attract attention but at the same time I was angry as I shot back, âThe guy was trying to pick you up!â
Hannah stood, and with her hands held high in front of her face yelled, âSo if you talk to a girl itâs nothing, but if Iâm talking to a guy I must be ready to jump in his pants?â
The nearby conversations got quieter as people turned to look at us. As calmly as I could I asked her, âCan we take this outside, a little more private?â
I got a sarcastic âYeah, whateverâ in reply.
I led her through the basement door, and once we were a few feet from the building, near some bushes, I tried to emphasize, âItâs not you, itâs him Iâm worried about.â
Hannah rolled her eyes before replying, âWell apparently after last week the rumor is that Iâm the freshman girl whoâs easy.â
âYeah well, youâre not a freshmanâŠâ
She shouted, âAnd Iâm not easy either! Would you quit being a dick! â
I pleaded, âWhat? What did I do?â with my hands stretched out to my sides.
She continued very loudly, âLast week, when you didnât think I was around, your eyes were all over that girl who apparently you see every week!â
I was struggling to maintain my composure as I came back with, âI told her I was taken, what, was I supposed to be an asshole and refuse to talk to her?â
Again she shouted, âThereâs talking and thereâs worshipping her tits!â
My frustration was rising as I snapped, âI canât believe thatâs still bothering you!â
âItâs only been a week andâŠâ and then she broke down bawling into her hands. âIâŠIâŠdamn it Joe! Why are we arguing like this?â
I held out my arms and pulled her to me. I whispered, âItâs O.K., it O.K.â as I felt the balls of her fists pounding my chest.
Much more softly, through her tears she sobbed, âNo itâs not, Iâm so scared.â She looked up at me and continued, âI love you so much and I donât want to lose you – Then I see you with some girl, and sheâs so pretty, and I imagine she wouldnât bring you the same bullshit â sheâs your age and sheâs probably not even your cousin. You two could just go off somewhere and forget about me.â
I kissed the top of her head as I held it in my hands. âI canât forget about you. I donât want her, I want you.â
With her head in my chest she replied, âWell then you can start by apologizing.â
âFor what?â
She grabbed my hair with both hands and holding my head steady stared up into my eyes. âJoe, justâŠjust say youâre sorry and be happy I love you, O.K.?â
The tears were rolling down my cheeks in the chill air as I whispered in her ear, âYes dear, Iâm sorry.â I cupped the back of her head in my hand and kissed her on the forehead, and for several minutes we embraced each other tightly, wordlessly, slightly swaying back and forth.