She is the One (Part 12)
Introduction:
“And ye shall seek and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart” Jeremiah 29:13
My breath stopped. My chest constricted in shock and terror. My lungs fought desperately against the mounting pressure as I wavered and stuck a hand out to balance myself. I felt like I was going to collapse.
Oh noâŠ
âAND HEâS YOUR BROTHER! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!â
My first thought was to run, to grab Kayla and run back to her house and wait out the storm. I could tell her that it was family stuff and that we shouldnât get involved, that it didnât concern us and we should let it blow over firstâŠNo, I couldnât. They were my siblings. I couldnât just leave them twisting.
Besides, this was partially my fault. I let them be intimate whenever they were alone. I let them lower their defenses.
ButâŠdamn it, guys, why couldnât you have been more careful?
âI CANâT BELIEVE YOU TWO!â
Kayla clutched my arm as the structure of the house seemed to shake from the force of dadâs voice. Great, now she was going to find out too. And I had told her there was nothing else she needed to knowâŠ
My breathing was shallow and I felt like I was going to puke with each breath. I just couldnât will my legs to move, terror rooting me in place. I had to get up those stairs but what I would find up thereâŠI still remember that feelingâŠlike I would find my death at the top of those steps. That nothing but fire and fury waited for me at the top to consume me if I came anywhere close.
âWELL?! SAY SOMETHING!â
Alan and Amanda were in trouble. I had to help.
I had to.
My legs broke through the ice block of my fear and I raced up the stairs, Kayla close on my heels. I didnât exactly want her finding out this way (though I wasnât exactly sure how I did want her finding out, if at all) but it wasnât like I had much of a choice now. And she was hardly the biggest of my problems now.
Every clomp of my shoes on the steps was like a death toll, bringing me one step closer to the greatest trouble I would ever have been in. I knew I had to do this but Iâll be damned if I didnât think I would die of a heart attack along the way. My heart was beating so fast that I felt the metallic taste of blood filling my mouth.
Alan and Amandaâs door was open and the angry roaring was coming from there. Feeling like I was about to face an explosion head-on, I walked in.
Alan was pressing himself against the closet door, desperately trying to cover himself with his boxers and his eyes wide with terror. His other hand was lightly clawing at the wall, as if hoping he could somehow escape into it. Amanda was nothing more than a lump in the blankets and a pair of horrified eyes peeking out. It was like stepping into a horror movie right as the killer bursts through the door where the two young deadmeats have been having sex. ActuallyâŠthatâs exactly what happened, sans the killer part.
Mom and dad stood like two mountains of rage. Fury pulsated from them like malevolent wavelengths that made my stomach churn and my limbs quiver. I couldnât even see their faces and I already knew I would see my parents, two of the people I loved most in the world, transformed by their fury into something terrifyingly unrecognizable. The thought of their faces staring at me with the same anger that was now directed at the twins was almost enough to make me want to bolt.
Almost.
Alan and Amandaâs eyes found mine and the same expression appeared on their faces. It was a look that screamed, âHelp us!â
I couldnât abandon them.
Dad was inhaling, his body swelling as he prepared to yell again. âDad,â I said firmly.
He whirled around. âWHAT?!â he roared. His fury abated slightly upon seeing Kayla and I, but in that brief moment before he realized who I was I caught a glimpse of his true fury. Dad was a casually handsome man, his trademark grin giving him a look of boyish roguery, but there was no semblance of that charm now. His face was set like granite, his eyes alight with hellfire and his teeth gritted so tightly I could practically see sparks flying from them. The furious shape of his mouth had tugged on his cheeks so that they stretch in what might have been a comical fashion if not for everything else.
It was only a moment that his face was like this but itâs an image I will never forget.
âJack,â dad said, panting a little, âKaylaâŠplease give us some timeâŠâ He was trying to control himself and somehow his level tone was making the whole situation scarier than it already was.
âNo, dad.â
âJack,â mom said, her voice so hard that hearing it was like getting punched in the ear, âPlease leave.â Mom wasnât the type to have her face twisted by anger; instead, she became eerily stoic and you were always terrified she was suddenly going to hit you. She never did but she had a way of convincing you that she might.
âIâm staying,â I said firmly. Itâs a good thing my voice was steady because I could feel my legs shaking in my jeans, and not just because I was still wet from the Jacuzzi.
âJack,â dad snapped, âThisââ
âI know all about it.â I honestly think, though I needed to call upon my courage a lot before then and a lot of time after, that I never displayed more bravery than at that point. If I didnât say something now, we would pass the point where I could do anything.
Kayla had been gripping my arm and her hands suddenly tightened in shock. Mom and dadâs face went white and their mouths hung open, words completely failing them. Alan had slid on his boxers and both he and Amanda were looking at me in shock. I donât know what else they expected me to do. It had to happen.
âYouâŠknow aboutâŠâ Dad couldnât even bring himself to finish the sentence.
I held myself firm. âYes,â I said, âIâve known for a while now. So if you want to get mad at someone, get mad at me. You made me head of the house. I let them do it because itâs what they wanted to do. They love each other.â
âTHEYâRE BROTHER AND SISTER!â dad roared, this tie really causing the room to shake, âTHEY CANâT DO THINGS LIKE THIS!â
âHow could you, Jack?â mom said in a deathly whisper, âHow could you?â
âHow could I what?â I fired back, âWhat is wrong with this?â Good God, Iâm actually about to defend incest.
âWhat is wrong with it?â mom sputtered, âWhat is wrong withâŠa brother and sisterâŠâ
âYes,â I said solidly, aware that Kaylaâs hands were slipping from my arm. Iâm sorry, Kayla. âWhat is wrong with it? Whatâs wrong with it besides the fact that theyâre related?â
Dad was gesturing between the two of them, barely able to form words. âTheyâŠareâŠtheyâŠâ He rounded on me in fury. âHow dare you let this happen in our house?! We trusted you, Jack!â
âAnd it was happening before I was put in charge!â I shouted, âSo what does that say about you guys?â
Both of them were quivering in fury. âJackâŠâ Dad was about to explode. Whether literally or figuratively, I didnât know.
What I did know was that I had to start speaking or I was in serious danger of being punched in the face. I took a deep breath. What I said next was not anything I had planned to say ahead of time (frankly, I hadnât planned for this at all) but, somehow, I was able to make it flow;
âSeriously, guys, whatâs wrong with this? Where does it say that brothers and sisters canât be lovers? People have been doing it for centuries and I donât see anything being worse because of it. I meanâŠokay, whatâs the big hang-up? Morals or something? Itâs immoral? Says who? The Bible has a ton of incest in it! And where exactly do people get the idea that we always have to do it with people outside the family? When did this moral outrage start? It wasnât so long ago that it was considered âimmoralâ for black people to vote. It wasnât that long ago it was considered âimmoralâ for women to have jobs outside the home.â
âThis is differentââ dad started hotly but I cut him off.
âNo, it isnât! This is just as important! Iâm not saying everyone should go out and fuck their sibling but whatâs wrong with it in this case? You love them. They love you. And they love each other, just as more than a brother and sister. Whatâs wrong with that? No, really, whatâs wrong with that? Wouldnât you rather have your child with someone who cares about them? Dad, seriously, wouldnât you rather Amandaâs first time be with someone who actually gives a shit about her rather than some high school douchebag just looking to put another notch in his bedpost?â
âJACK, THATâS NOTââ
âIT IS,â I roared, making everyone jump, âItâs important! Itâs the whole point! I was freaked out when I first saw it but you know what? It wasnât any of my business! It didnât affect me and it sure as heck doesnât affect you any more than you want it to! LikeâŠokay, what does this mean? Theyâre having sex? Having sex just for fun? Well, does that affect you any more than me having sex with KâŠthan if me and Kayla were having sex?â My parents probably knew but probably best not to out Kayla right now. âItâs not any more of our business than if two gay people have sex. Really, itâs not. I mean, shouldnât you be happy that they found someone that they love? That they found someone they love as much as I love Kayla?â I meant that but part of me kind of hoped saying it would make Kayla less mad at me.
âIf we let themââ mom started but again, I interrupted.
âThen what happens? They have sex. Thatâs it. Itâs not going to bring the world crashing down on us. No police are going to come and the only thing that could go wrong is if intolerant fucktards find out and try to make it their business but whoâs going to tell them? Are you? Am I? Are they?â I was basically babbling at this point but I had the sense that the longer I talked, the calmer my parents were getting. âI knowâŠtrust me, I know itâs weird and you donât have to like itâŠbut what is the harm? Who is hurt by this? Whoâs gonna know? PleaseâŠplease donât make this a big thing. Itâs shocking, yeah. Itâs fucking weird as shit but so what? I knew and it didnât do anything to me. I didnât freak out or anything. Okay, maybe a little at first, but then Kayla and I started dating so maybe it worked out for the best. I donât know. But this whole thing isnât as fucked up as it seems when you think about it.â
They were a little calmer now but they could spark back up at any moment. âJackââ
âIf youâre going to punish them, youâll have to punish me too. They wouldnât be doing it if I didnât let them. I could have stopped them at any time but I didnât because I was happy that they loved each other. And you should love that they love each other too because theyâre your children and you should want them to be happy. If you arenât happy thenâŠwell, youâll have to punish me first because itâs mostly my fault. If youâre going to ground them, you better kick me out of the house. If you kick them out of the house, you better leave me in the desert. I stand by what theyâre doing and Iâm not moving. I love you guys and I love them and weâre going to stay together, no matter what.â I folded my arms, hoping I looked resolute.
Alan and Amanda were gaping at me, tears in their eyes. Mom was rubbing her eyes and dad looked stuck on the fine edge between warily calm and batshit crazy. I didnât dare turn to look at Kayla. I wanted to be scared about what she was thinking and what this might mean for our relationship but I had to focus entirely on my family. This whole thing was on the razorâs tip.
Dad took a few deep breaths and looked at me with a stony expression. âWe love you all,â he said, âBut thisâŠdamn it, Jack, this isnât something you can just easily explain away. WeâŠwe need time toâŠâ He looked over at mom, who had buried her face in her hands. âYour mother and I need to talk about this. In the meantime,â he pointed at Amanda, âyou will be sleeping in Jackâs room. Jack, youâre going to sleep in here.â He gripped my arm hard, his eyes drilling into mine. âYouâre not going to allow anything like this anymore, okay? Your mother and I canât start coming home earlier so if I even catch a hint that theyâve beenâŠwellâŠâ He squeezed my arm so hard, I swear it left a bruise.
âDamn it, kids,â mom said softly, âI donât even know what to say.â
âDonât say anything,â dad replied harshly, âCome on. And rememberâŠseparate rooms you two.â Alan and Amanda nodded, visibly trembling. Mom and dad left, the shadow of their anger still hanging heavy over the room.
I let out a long breath. âGet dressed, guys,â I said, âIâm going to walk Kayla home.â They nodded, still unable to speak.
It was only now that I turned to look at Kayla. Her expression wasnât what I expected. I had expected anger or betrayal but she just looked at me the same way you might look at a confusing painting. It was impossible to read what she was thinking and that made me even more nervous. I wanted to reach out and take her hand but I was afraid she might pull away. I couldnât bear that.
âYouâŠumâŠready to go?â I asked lamely. What else could I say? She nodded slowly and walked toward the stairs, keeping eye-contact as much as she could.
The walk across the lawn to her house was one of the longest walks Iâve ever taken. Not because of distance but because of the leaden silence between us. A million explanations, a million justifications, a million things came to mind for me to say but I didnât have the heart to say them. She had told me to not keep secrets from her. Technically, she had asked me to tell her only things she needed to know butâŠthis was a big one. Besides, what must she think of me? Encouraging incest? With two of her newest friends?
Just describing it in my head made me ashamed of myself. Not that I did something wrong by protecting Alan and Amanda but someone on the outside would not see it like that.
I walked her to her door, feeling like I was about to lose something. She turned to me and gave me that same look she had when we were still in the twinsâ room. âKayla, Iââ
She held up a hand. âWhat time do you go into work tomorrow?â she asked calmly.
I blinked and thought. âAt noon.â
âCan you be over here at about ten? IâŠwant some time to think about this. I know you want to talk and we should talk but I need some time to think, okay?â
A little hope returned but I wasnât about to push my luck. âOkay,â I replied, giving her a small smile.
She returned it, to my relief. âI donât think Iâm mad,â she said, touching my hand. She pulled me in for a hug and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I would have liked for an actual kiss but I wasnât about to ask for one. Iâm stunned she decided to give me a hug.
âSee you tomorrow,â I said and then risked adding, âI love you.â
She gave me a wider smile. âAnd I love you.â She closed the door.
I sighed and beat my fists together. She had said she still loved me, which made me feel good, but who knows what she might say tomorrow after having a night to think about it? We had never really discussed our thoughts on other types of relationships but our own so I didnât know where this fell on her scale of acceptable. Maybe she would decideâŠ
Knock it off, Jack. I couldnât just stand here feeling sorry for myself. Alan and Amanda needed me too, now more than ever. The image of their terrified faces was still burned in my brain and the persistent whisper that it was all my fault continued to buzz in my ear. It was my fault but that only meant it was my responsibility to make it right.
I was grabbing some clothes from my room when Amanda came in, dressed in her pajamas and carrying one of her stuffed animals. She clutched the rabbit to her chest, still visibly shaken by everything. âJackâŠâ she said softly, licking her lips.
âHey, Amanda,â I said, getting up, âYou okay?â
She bit her lip and shook her head, looking at the ground. âAlan said he thought he heard the garage door but I didnât want to stop.â She ran a hand across her eyes. âItâs all my fault.â
âNo,â I said firmly, going over to her and gripping her shoulders, âIf itâs anyoneâs fault, itâs mine. I let you guys do it when mom and dad werenât around. I never had a problem with it. I never told you to be careful. Iâm more responsible than you are.â
âThatâs not true, Jack. We would have done it even if you hadnâtâŠâ She had to stop as tears streaked her face.
I wiped them away and said, âEverything is going to be okay. Mom and dad arenât going to kick anyone out.â
Apparently those were the wrong words to say. âOh my God, do you think theyâll send one of us away?!â She was crying in earnest now. âI canât lose you guysâŠeither of youâŠI justâŠâ She buried her face in the bunnyâs back and cried.
I pulled her in for a hug and she cried into my shoulder, each fresh sob soaking my shirt in tears. I stroked her hair and shushed her. âNo one is being sent away,â I said, âI promise.â
She pulled back and looked me in the face. âI was so scared when you told them that you knew. I thought they were going to hit you.â
I gave her a small smile. âThank goodness for shock paralysis.â
She gave a teary chuckle. âThank you. For coming in when you did. I donât know what mom and dad might have done if you hadnâtâŠâ
I pulled her in for another hug. âJust get some sleep. Iâm sure everything will be better in the morning.â
She hugged me back, then suddenly looked up and gave me a quick kiss. I was too stunned to do anything but she was already pulling back and stammering before I could react. âIâm sorry!â she said, mortified, âIâm sorry! I justâŠI wanted to feel something good beforeâŠâ She started to cry again and collapsed on my bed.
I wanted to comfort her, to tell her everything was going to be okay, but I had just about all I could handle today. I squeezed her shoulder once, said, âGood night,â and left.
Alan was sitting in bed, staring off into space. âHow is she?â he asked.
âBroken up,â I replied, taking off my shirt.
Alan bit his lip. âIâm so sorry, Jack.â
âNothing we can do now but wait for mom and dad to come to a decision.â
He went white. âDo you think theyâll send one of us away?â
âNot if I can help it,â I said firmly, crawling into Amandaâs bed, âJust go to sleep. You worry too much about it, youâll just feel worse.â
âYeah, I guessâŠwas Kayla upset?â
âI donât think so but she wants me over at her house tomorrow before work to talk about it.â
âI hope it goes okay.â
âMe too. And really, AlanâŠdonât worry about it.â
It was all well and good for me to say that to him, but I wasnât exactly heeding my own advice. As I put my head on the pillow and drew up the unfamiliar blanket, my mind was full of worry and doubt. It was a long time before I got to sleep.
——————————————————————————————————————————–
Nobody was up when I went downstairs for breakfast. Alan and Amanda were still in bed, presumably having been awake as long as I had before finally falling asleep, and mom and dadâs door was still shut. It was the first lonely breakfast I had had in a long time and, frankly, it was pretty depressing. I missed the banter, I missed the laughter, I missed having someone there to fill in the silence while I chewed. My chewing sounded disturbingly loud.
I finished eating by nine-thirty and still, no one was awake. A half-hour of dead air. Wonderful. I would have booted up a game or something but Amanda still wasnât awake and I had no desire to turn on the television so I did the only thing I could think of doing: go for a walk. I left a note for my parents, telling them I was going to be at Kaylaâs and that I would probably be going directly to work from there.
There was a hint of autumn in the air as I walked. Normally, autumn is my favorite season, if for no other reason than the smell of it. Often, Iâll stand outside and just inhale the scent of leaves and chilled wood, of roaring fireplaces and the twinge of spice from the stale grass. The decomposition of the dead leaves gave way to a heavenly scent, almost a sweetness. Beauty from death. I loved the way the sun shone brightly but the chill in the air was enough to make you shiver; a weathery contradiction. I loved how people huddled together in groups when they talked, keeping each other warm, and the way the conversations would become more intimate because of their closenss. Walking in my leather jacket through a sea of dry leaves, hearing the crunch beneath my feet and the crackling shuffle as they rustle togetherâŠhonestly, you couldnât find a better way to spend an afternoon.
I hoped to share that with Kayla soon. God, please donât let her be too upset.
I walked around the neighborhood, nodding greeting to the few people out and about. I remembered how, not too long ago, Alan and I had walked this same route on the way to talk about relationships. Now, both of them might be in jeopardy. Despite my confident reassurances to my siblings, it seemed terrifyingly likely that one of us might be sent away to live with another relative. Then the family would know about itâŠthen how long until the kids at school?
One little mistake and my whole world might come apart. I was praying as hard as I could but I knew this was in my hands now.
I made it to Kaylaâs house a minute before ten. I leaned against her porch railing, staring at the door as I waited for the remaining minute to expire. Did she sleep as fitfully as me last night? Had she made up her mind? Would she be okay with it?
Only one way to find out.
She opened the door on the second knock. âYou could have knocked instead of waiting out there,â she said with a little smirk. Good, sheâs in a teasing mood.
âAnd you could have invited me in instead of just watching me,â I replied, sticking my tongue out.
She giggled. âBut I like watching you when you donât know Iâm looking.â
âYou been staring at me in my bedroom?â Shit, please donât let her have seen Amanda kiss me.
âPlease, I got all of you saved up here.â She tapped her forehead and smiled. She was dressed in sweatpants and an old T-shirt, presumably pajamas made for colder weather. And she still managed to make them sexy as hell.
An awkward silence fell as we both fumbled for something to say. She cleared her throat and gestured to the living room. âLetâsâŠwell, sit down,â she said awkwardly.
A dark lump on the sofa uncurled itself into Tori, stretching and gazing at us with accusing eyes for disturbing her sleep. âHey, Tori,â I said, stretching out my hand. She sniffed my knuckles and rubbed her head against them. She got up, stretched again and then gently crawled into my lap.
âSheâs taken to you,â Kayla said amusedly as she sat down next to me. Tori looked over at her and then quickly flowed from my lap to hers.
âWell, she still knows who the momma is,â I replied, scratching Toriâs ears. She closed her eyes and purred.
âYes she does.â
Silence fell again. Kayla stroked Toriâs back and I sat, trying to keep from twiddling my thumbs. âAre you okay?â I asked.
âYeah,â she replied, blowing out her cheeks, âI stayed up for a bit last night.â
âMe too.â
âThis isâŠnot something you can usually prepare yourself for.â
I couldnât hold it in any longer. âKayla, Iâm so sorry I didnât tell you! Iââ
She put a hand gently to my mouth. âJack, if youâre worried that Iâm going to break up with you or stop loving you, you donât have to worry. Iâm not.â
âYou arenât?â Next paycheck was going straight to the Vatican, I swear.
âNo,â she said, giving me a small smile, âI know I asked you to not keep secrets and tell me stuff I needed to know butâŠwell, this wasnât your secret. It was Alan and Amandaâs. Iâll admit, I was a little pissed off at first that I had to find out this way but the more I thought about it, I wasnât pissed off at anyone. I was pissed off at the situation. I wanted to be angry at you but I thought what would happen if I had a brother and sister and I realized that you did it to protect them. Because you love them.â
I was so relived I couldnât think of anything to say other than, âUh huh.â
She laughed at my response. âNice to see your brain is working.â
âI hope my parents feel the same way.â
âThey better. I mean, itâs always been just kind of an accepted thing that incest is wrong but the more I think about it, you were right in saying there isnât anything other than a moral outrage making it âwrongâ. Hell, Iâm not even convinced people are just pissed at it because it can make some fucked up babies.â She sucked in her cheek. âJackâŠthe way you talked last nightâŠhonestly, that took some balls.â
âBig balls?â I asked, grinning.
She flicked my ear. âIâll compliment your cock another time, stud. Seriously, that was really brave of you and I hope your parents realize just how difficult that was for you to do. I donât know if that will affect their decision but they should realize it.â
âYeahâŠâ
She put her hand on my cheek. âIâm worried about you, Jack.â
âWhy?â
âWell, I donât want you to try to put too much on yourself. Iâm here to help you, too.â
âI know. Thatâs why Iâve been telling you everything.â
âI know, baby, but I want you to know I can help you.â She cupped my face with both hands and kissed me lightly. âJack, I love you and I want to be there for you. As more than just someone who can kiss you and have sex with you and hang on your arm. I just feel likeâŠâ She started tearing up. âI feel like sometimes Iâm just taking you for granted without earning you.â
âKayla,â I said, seizing her hands, âYou deserve me. Youâve earned me. Youâre the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to bed.â If I had thought about these words, they would have seemed really sappy, but I was speaking from the heart so they were the truth. âI love you because you are you. You make me so happy and bring so much joy to my life. I wouldnât change anything about you.â
She smiled and kissed me. Then she grabbed my head and pulled me in for a longer kiss. Tori, neglected, slid off her lap with a discontented meow and padded off. The kiss lasted half a minute before she pulled back. âThatâs for not giving you one last night,â she said, twisting her mouth apologetically, âSorry.â
âI understand. SoâŠyouâre not weirded out by Alan and Amanda?â
âIf they love each other, they love each other. Itâs only weird because Iâve been told itâs weird. I care about them enough to get over that.â
I blew out my cheeks. âAny chance you might be able to get my parents to think that way?â
Her tongue moved around inside her cheek. âI wonder how theyâll react to me being okay with it.â
âThey love you.â
âI know they do but they also love Alan and Amanda. And I saw the way they were last night.â She shuddered. âMy dad can get scary when heâs mad but your parentsâŠdamn.â
âYeah,â I said, laughing a little, âIâve never seen them like that. Hope I never again.â
She cuddled up to me. âI hope everything is okay. I donât want to lose any of you guys.â
âYou wonât. Iâll make sure of it.â
âThanks for being amazing.â
âThanks for being perfect.â
She poked me in the belly. âIâm not.â
âYes you are. Hey, can you do me a favor?â
âOf course!â
âWhile Iâm at work, could you maybe go over and talk with the twins? Just talk with them, maybe help them feel a little better.â
She looked up at me. âWill your parents let me?â
âI donât see why not. They made them sleep in separate rooms last night so they probably would be fine having someone else around to make sure they donâtâŠdo anything.â
ââŠOkay. Iâll go over.â
âIâm sorry, Iââ
âNo, no, itâs fine,â she said, putting a hand on my stomach, âAre you going to be okay at work?â
âYeah. Itâll take my mind off it.â
âWhat, and I donât?â she asked, pretending to be offended.
I laughed. âYou do. You always make me feel better.â
She kissed me. âAre thereâŠany other ways I can take your mind off it?â she asked with a wink.
âDo you want to?â
She sighed. âI do. Really, really bad, especially after last night. Last nightâŠoh my God.â She shivered. âBut I know you have to head out soon.â
âYeahâŠâ I could have gone for a quickie but I wasnât exactly in the mood and I doubt she was either.
Reading my mind, she said, âAnd last night isnât the best mood-setter either.â
âNo, itâs not,â I agreed.
We lay snuggled for a while, happy for the security of each otherâs arms. Tori came in at one point and polished our ankles but soon left after finding neither of us much in the mood to make her the center of attention. I checked my phone occasionally to see if anyone had called me but the messages remained blank. I thought about messaging Joe or Tara (maybe Brad, just to see if anything would change) but what exactly could I say? The one thing I really wanted to talk about was taboo for everyone except for my immediate family and Kayla. God, what were my parents going to do about Kayla knowing?
âHey, Jack, I was thinkingâŠâ
I put my phone away. âYes?â
âI think we should talk to Brad about Jessica.â
I shuffled back so I could look her full in the face. âWhy?â
âBecause if sheâs going to be putting guns in your locker, whatâs she going to do next? If Brad can do somethingâŠâ
I thought about it. Brad had put a huge barrier between us and him but maybeâŠI mean, I wasnât saying I wanted him to break up with Jessica, but since he was her boyfriend maybe he could talk to her? Or, at the very least⊠âMaybe we could all sit down and talk,â I said, âGet to the bottom of this.â
âThat ought to be cheerful,â she said, rolling her eyes.
âSeriously. Weâll talk to him in gym on Tuesday, get us all together at lunch, and find out what the hell is going on.â
She sat up and stretched. âIf she goes for itâŠyeah, I like that idea.â
I sat up as well and put my hands on her shoulders, squeezing the muscles near her neck. She moaned out loud. âOhhhhh,â she said in a low voice that made my cock twitch, âThat feels goooooooood.â
I didnât say anything but proceeded to massage her shoulders firmly, easing out the tension in her slim shoulders. Her head lolled back, her hair spilling onto my hands. âWhat happened to your hair bow?â I asked, brushing her hair aside.
She scooped all of it and flipped it over her shoulder. âHavenâtâŠmmmmmâŠhad timeâŠâ She was moaning lightly as I relaxed her muscles. My hands slid off her shoulders, down her back to work on the knots around her spine. Her back arched and she gasped and sighed appreciatively.
âWhat have you been doing to get all this tension?â I asked teasingly.
âIâveâŠmmmmâŠbeen having to make aâŠohhhhâŠcertain someone very happyâŠmmmmâŠâ
âAnyone I know?â
âYeah, heâŠohhhhh yesâŠexists in your mirrorâŠâ
I laughed and she couldnât help but join in, even in the ecstasy of the massage. She leaned back into me, twisting her head so she could kiss me, long and lingering. My hands, now robbed of a surface to massage, found their way to her breasts. She cooed and giggled as I lightly squeezed them through her shirt. âSomething on your mind, mister?â she asked coyly.
âYes,â I replied, kissing her forehead, âWork.â
I stood up, forcing her to flop back on the sofa. She twisted immediately and gave me a pouty face. âYou canât do that,â she huffed, pounding the sofa, âYou canât tease me like that and then leave!â
âSweetcheeks, I have to go to work,â I said piously, âI would love to stay here and take care of your needs but someone has to win the bread.â
She crossed her arms under her boobs, making them swell. Her face was frowning but her eyes held only mischief. âJust see if you ever get to play with them again,â she hissed.
âOh, as if you could resist me,â I said, tying my shoes, âIâll text you on my break, I promise.â
âOkay,â she said, suddenly happy. She ran over and threw her arms around me, giving me another kiss. âAnd Iâll go over to your house soon. I promise.â
âThanks, Kayla,â I said, âYouâre the best.â
She laid her head on my chest and held me. âEverythingâs going to work out,â she said.
âI know.â
She kissed me again. âHave a good day at work, baby. I love you.â
âI love you too,â I said, turning around and opening the door.
âHey!â
I turned. âYeah?â
She stared at me for a second, then grinned and lifted her shirt. Her beautiful breasts fell out, her beautiful pink nipples staring at me. Suddenly, I didnât feel like going to work. She dropped her shirt. âSomething to think about at work,â she said, putting a finger to her lip, âAnd to get you back for teasing me.â
I rolled my eyes and left. Nothing was better with my family yet but I was feeling a whole lot better all the same.
————————————————————————————————————————————
Breakfast the next day wasâŠwell, thereâs not a word for it, but âinsanely uncomfortableâ sounds about right. Alan and Amanda were extremely subdued, staring only at their plates. Mom and dad were just as silent, but with the air of a cobra poised to strike. Dad wasnât reading his morning paper and mom wasnât happily flitting about, getting the table set. As such, everyone was forced to go get their own breakfast, meaning there were a lot of chair-scrapings and muttered apologies as people got in each otherâs way. In the unusual silence, they were very loud.
I wanted to try to break the ice but I got the sense that it would be unwelcome. Everyone was extremely uncomfortable and if they were forced to talk to each otherâŠSilence was probably better.
Kayla had, unfortunately, not been able to talk to the twins the day before. Mom and dad had been very courteous with her, as they always were, as they explained that the twins were forbade from seeing anyone at the moment. They had even taken their cell phones away. Even though it was supposed to be a punishment, it sounded very paranoid to me, as if mom and dad were afraid that the twins would blab about what happened.
Parents might be older but that doesnât mean they are all-knowing. But donât let them know that.
I put my plate in the sink and turned around, clearing my throat. Everyone looked at me and I suddenly felt like I was standing before a jury. âWeâll be heading out in a few,â I said to Alan and Amanda, âYou guys ready?â They nodded. âGood.â
They dropped their dishes in the sink and meekly left the room to go collect their backpacks. Dad cleared his throat. Like mine, it had gotten a little dry from lack of use. âRemember what we said yesterday. About anything happening between them.â
âI will,â I said. I probably wouldnât even have to do anything. Alan and Amanda were so terrified, theyâd probably have a heart attack just by accidentally touching each other. âHave youâŠthought about it?â
Dad steepled his fingers and mom pointedly took a long, long drink of coffee. âWe are thinking,â dad said. He wouldnât say anything more and I didnât push it, lest he start thinking that I need to be punished for covering it up.
âHope you guys have a good day,â I said, smiling at them. My mouth fought the smile but I managed it all the same.
They looked at me and I could tell they wanted to smile as well. âHave a good day at school,â dad said. I went over and gave them both a hug. They tried to return it but couldnât bring themselves to. That one hurt but I sucked it up and walked away. They didnât say anything else.
Alan made to get into the passengerâs seat but I cleared my throat and looked pointedly at the back seat. He was about to say something but I cut him off. âMom and dad arenât riding with us,â I said, âSo you can sit next to her.â
He hesitated but crawled in next to her. They gave each other an awkward smile but still looked like they were trying to stay as far away from each other as possible.
Kayla ran up to the car just as we were pulling in the driveway. âHey,â she said to me, kissing me sweetly. She then turned around. âHey, guys. Sorry I couldnât see you yesterday.â
Since she hadnât been able to talk to them, they didnât know how to react. They stared at her, breaths held. âYou guys okay?â I asked, backing out of the driveway.
âAre youâŠmad?â Alan asked tentatively.
âWhy would I be?â Kayla asked, confused.
âBecause weâŠyou saw usâŠâ
Kayla took each of their hands. âGuysâŠyouâre my friends,â she said seriously, âIf you love each other, you love each other. Brother, sisterâŠokay, yeah, I still find it a little weird but so what? You two are happy.â
Their jaws dropped comically. âAre you sure?â Amanda asked.
âIf I wasnât, I would have punched Jack in the jaw yesterday,â she said, giving me a fond look.
Alan gave a breathless, relieved laugh. âIsnât there a term like âJack-punchingâ someone? Or something?â
âOh, we can make it,â Kayla said, grinning.
Amanda was still looking a little worried. âYou werenât mad at Jack or anything?â
Kayla thought about it, turning back around in her seat. âI was at first. I mean, itâs something you donât wanna find out about like that butâŠwell, what Jack said made a lot of sense.â
âYeah, you really pulled out the big guns,â Alan said, clapping me on the shoulder.
âIâm not saying I would be into incest if I had a brother,â Kayla said (and we have another contender for Sentences You Never Expect Someone To Say), âButâŠI canât even begin to convince myself to have a problem with it. What argument could I give?â
Alan leaned back, laughing in relief, but Amanda was looking at me. I knew what she was thinking about: Kaylaâs comment about not being into incest if she had a brother. I gave her a quick head-shake and she visibly relaxed. That was a secret I was going to hold on to.
âThanks, Kayla,â Alan said, squeezing her upper arm, âI justâŠI guess we didnât expect you to be so cool with it.â
She shrugged. âItâs none of my business. You guys being happy is. I just hope your parents see it that way too.â
The mention of our parents put them back in a sour mood. âYeahâŠâ Amanda sighed, looking out the window. Kayla looked at me with despairing eyes, sorry she had brought up the topic. I squeezed her hand.
We walked up to school and found, to our surprise, Joe was not alone in waiting for us. He was deep in conversation with Belle, one of Jessicaâs closest friends. They were laughing together and standing much closer than they needed to for a friendly chat. Kayla and I grinned at each other and I called, âYo, Joe!â
Joe looked up and blushed instantly. âOh, hey,â he said, jerking his hand up, âHow you guys doing?â
âGreat,â Kayla said, all smiles and friendliness, âHow are you guys doing?â
âPretty good,â Joe said, looking at Belle and coughing. He gestured between us a few times and said, âBelle, do youâŠknow everyone?â
âSort of,â she replied, a little less embarrassed than him. She gave us a small smile.
âWell, this is my best friend, Jack,â he said, pointing at me, âHis girlfriend, Kayla.â
âHey,â Kayla said, sticking out her hand, which Belle shook.
âAnd Jackâs brother and sister. Alan and Amanda.â
âHey,â Belle said, waving at them. They waved and smiled back. Though no one at school knew about their relationship, youâd swear they thought everyone was just waiting to spring out and mock them.
âSo how was your weekend?â I asked Joe, trying to be as casual as possible. Every part of me wanted to tease him but he was actually looking somewhat contented for the first time in a week. No reason to take that from him.
âPretty good,â he said vaguely, looking at Belle.
âOh, for Godâs sake,â Belle said exasperatedly, huffing, âJoe and I went on a couple of dates.â
âReally?â Kayla and I said together, beaming at Joe.
Joe blushed and said, âYep.â
Belle looked at him. âThough I may end up being the man in the relationship if his balls donât come in.â
âOhhhhhh,â I drawled, giving Belle a high-five, âThat stung!â
Joe blushed. âCome on,â he said.
Belle put a hand on his shoulder and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. âIâm just kidding, big guy,â she said sweetly.
I glanced across toward the school where Brad and Jessica were standing in their usual spot, surrounded by members of Jessicaâs entourage. Brad was busy talking with a few of the girls but Jessica was glancing over at us. Her eyes traveled from Belle to me. When she saw me looking at her, she quickly turned away.
Belle saw where I was looking. âJessica wasnât too happy about it,â she said a little sadly.
âBabe, you donât need her,â Joe said, putting an arm around her shoulders, âIf she wants to dictate who you can and canât date, she can piss up a rope.â
âI dare you to say that to her face,â Kayla said. She grinned but I could sense the venom behind her words.
Joe drew himself up. âMaybe I will.â He turned around.
Belle quickly caught his arm. âDonât jump into the snake pit yet, Indiana,â she said quickly, âIâm expecting a few more dates first.â
âGladly,â Joe said with a smile. It was good to see him smile again. The whole business with Brad had thrown him off so much and it was kind of depressing to see such a naturally goofy guy get so depressed.
âWell,â Amanda said, giving everyone a smile that stopped before her eyes, âWeâre going to head in. See you guys later.â She and Alan walked on, both their heads down, trying to ward off nonexistent attention.
âWe should probably head in, too,â Belle said, pulling on Joeâs hand.
âOh, hey, Joe,â Kayla said, quickly, âCan I ask you something really quick?â
Joe nodded and said, âGo ahead, babe. Iâll catch up.â Belle flashed him a smile (a very pretty one, at that) and walked on. âWhatâs up?â he said to Kayla.
âAre you all over Brad?â
Joe turned white. âBradâŠwhat about himâŠover him?â
Kayla raised an eyebrow and said, âJoe, I know, okay? It wasnât exactly hard to pick up.â
Joe pointed at me. âDid heââ
âNo,â Kayla said quickly, âI promise, I just figured it out. So youâreâŠbi?â
He was at a loss for words, looking at us both as if begging to be saved somehow. âYou justâŠfigured it out?â
âFrom the way you were acting about Brad. I mean, Jack was annoyedâŠyou were straight up pissed and not in the âIâve lost my friendâ way.â
Joe drummed his fingers on his leg for a second before muttering, âYeah, I am.â
âItâs nothing to be ashamed of!â Kayla said quickly, giving him a quick hug, âI think itâs sweet. I really am sorry itâs not going to best with Brad.â
âYeah, well,â Joe said, shrugging, âIâve decided to move on. Even if he wasnât dating JessicaâŠI donât know if Iâm that attracted to him anymore.â
Kayla nodded approvingly. âBesides, Belle seems nice.â
âYeah, she is,â he said wistfully. He turned. âI better go say bye to her. Iâll see you guys later.â With a wave, he left.
âGood for him,â Kayla said cheerfully, âI guess Brad did right by him with something.â
âYeah.â I was still thinking about talking to Brad about Jessica. âAny way we can talk to Brad today?â
âYou want to just get it over and done with?â
âMhm.â
She sighed. âMe too. But we have gym with him tomorrow. No Jessica. Letâs wait until then.â
âJust hope she doesnât do anything today.â
She cracked her knuckles and said savagely, âIf she tries, Iâll remind her what happened last time I got pissed off with her.â
I smiled and took her hand. I didnât even care if she ended up kicking Jessicaâs ass from one end of the school to the other. Just the fact that she was willing to was enough for me. Violent? Yes, but very sweet as well.
Only women can somehow be violent and sweet at the same time. Go figure.
————————————————————————————————————————
âHarrison!â
I screeched to a halt. âYes, Ms. Cartwright?â
I had just finished dressing for gym class and was on my way with the other guys to the auxiliary gym. I had been running through what I was going to say to Brad but couldnât quite find a nice way to tell Brad that his girlfriend was a psychopath. Maybe âpsychopathâ was a bit strong. âNutcaseâ might be better.
Ms. Cartwright beckoned to me from across the hall. âCan I see you over here for a moment?â
There were a couple wolf-whistles that were silence as soon as I turned and gave them a death-stare. I walked over and leaned against the wall like she was doing. âYes?â
She seemed to be sizing me up. âSorry about what happened last week.â
I shrugged. âNo harm, no foul. Itâs like it never happened.â Bullshit, but how many teachers could you really talk to?
She sighed and cracked her neck. âYou angry?â
âNo.â
âUpset?â
âNo.â Why was this turning into a Dr. Phil session?
She seemed to sense my confusion and said, âLook, this is my first teaching job. I just want to make sure everything isâŠokay, you know? They donât exactly teach you how to deal with upset teenagers.â
I snorted. âGive it a few years. I doubt youâll know by then either.â
âProbably not,â she acknowledged, âbutâŠwell, just wanted to make sure everything was okay.â
âYou could have asked me last week,â I said, pushing myself off from the wall, âWhen I might have been upset.â
âYeah, well, thatâs why I didnât.â
âHuh?â
âThen I would have had to deal with you being upset.â
I looked at her archly. âSo you thought it was best to only ask me if I was okay when thereâs no chance you would have to actually do anything?â
She nodded. âPretty much.â
There was a directness and frankness about the reply that I admired, even while being grossly offended by it. âYeah, try and say that in front of Mr. Nichols, see how far that gets you.â
âFirst job,â she said, spreading her hands, âNow get in the gym before I mark you tardy.â
WellâŠthat was a waste of time.
I took my usual seat beside Joe and Kayla. I was about to engage Kayla in conversation, namely to plan our Brad strategy, when Joe nudged me. âHey, Jack,â he said, jerking his chin down the bleachers, âCheck out Ted.â
I leaned forward to look at Ted. The poor kid looked like heâd been dragged a mile behind a moving car. You might have excused the few bruises I had gotten over the past month for simple accidents, but there was nothing accidental about his injuries. He had been beaten. Badly. The terrified look on his face was doing nothing to dispel that notion.
âIsnât he Jessicaâs brother?â Kayla asked, grimacing sympathetically.
âYeah,â I said, frowning. What the hell had happened to him? And how had I not noticed in the locker room? I guess I had been a little preoccupied thinking about talking to Brad. Speaking of BradâŠ
I looked around for him and saw him lounging a few seats back. âHey, Brad,â I said.
He glanced at me. âWhatâs up?â he asked. I may have made fun of him for his goofy and subtly homoerotic greetings, but Iâd gladly take them over this indifference.
I motioned towards Ted. âWhat happened to Ted?â I asked.
âWhat do you mean?â he asked frowning. He sat up and looked in his direction. âDamn,â he said in shock, eye bulging, âWhat the hellâŠâ He tromped down the bleachers and went to sit beside Ted, putting a hand on his shoulder. Ted jumped at first but Brad looked like he was calming him down.
âDidnât happen here,â Joe said, watching the exchange, âWeâd have heard about it.â
âYeahâŠâ Iâm surprised it wasnât bigger news. Queen Beeâs brother bruised up like an old grape? Youâd figure sheâd be on a warpath to find out who did it, even if she wasnât that fond of him. Assuming it was someone at school and he wasnât mugged or something. Or ifâŠ
Kayla had the same thought. âHis parents?â
I shrugged. âWho knows?â
She leaned in close and whispered in my ear, âHow do you want to talk to Brad?â
I leaned back and whispered, âMight as well just do it direct. If weâre looking for a clever way of doing it, weâll never ask him.â She nodded, looking apprehensive. I took her hand and she squeezed.
âPDA!â Ms. Cartwright called as she entered the gym. Kayla and I quickly let go of each otherâs hand. âBetter,â she said, standing in front of us, âToday weâre going to the main gym. We have the volleyball nets set up so you know what weâre doing.â There was some groaning; volleyball wasnât exactly popular. âOh, get over yourselves,â Ms. Cartwright snapped, âGroups of five. Choose them. Then lets move.â
Joe, Kayla, and I glanced at each other knowingly. Then Kayla stepped down and walked over to Brad. âHey, Brad,â she said politely, âWanna be on our team?â
Joe looked like he wanted to protest but I held him back. Brad blinked and said, âI guess. As long as Ted can be on the team, too.â
âOf course!â she said, smiling at Ted, âThat makes five.â
âWhy does she want Brad?â Joe asked darkly as we walked to the main gym.
âWe have to tell him something.â
âWhatâs that?â
âIâll let you know later.â
He huffed and folded his arms. âYou can tell Brad but you wonât tell me?â
âWhy didnât you go after Craig when he first hurt me?â
Joe glanced over at Craig, who had been picked last for a team that had no other choice but to take him as a fifth member. âYou told us not to.â
âAnd Iâm telling you now that I need you to trust me on this.â
He was silent for a second, then sighed. âFine. But if anything bad happensâŠâ
I patted his shoulder. âIâll let you know, I promise.â He grunted in acknowledgment.
There were two big nets set up in the gym, meaning only four teams could play at a time, leaving two to sit against the folded-up bleachers and watch. We were selected as one of the teams to play, thus prolonging the intended discussion even longer. Having Brad on our team was a boon for us, especially since Kayla and I were too distracted to really focus on the game and Joe was still pissed off at Brad, refusing to play anywhere near him.
We played a couple more games, winning only because Brad was a better player on his own than on a team. Ted tried his best but he wasnât much of an athlete. The rest of us were too wrapped up in our own thoughts to do much more than serve as backup for Brad as he spiked us to three victories in a row. Needless to say, when it came to our turn to relax, he was feeling really proud of himself.
Kayla glanced at me. I nodded and took a deep breath. âHey, Brad,â I said, âMind if we talk to you for a second?â
He raised his eyebrows and said, âWhat about?â
âWellâŠabout Jessica.â
He was immediately suspicious. âWhat about her?â he asked, narrowing his eyes.
âLook,â I said, stepping close and looking around, âLetâs go over there and talk, okay? Make sure no one else is listening in.â
âSeriously, dude, this isnât cool.â
âItâs important. I promise.â
âIt is,â Kayla said, coming to stand by me.
He looked at us both, visibly irritated and not a little hostile. Rolling his eyes, he said, âFine. Whatever it is better be good.â
We walked to the far corner of the gym, partially obscured by the edge of the bleachers. Kaylaâs hand touched mine as we walked and I could feel her nervousness travel through the touch. It was the exact same nervousness that was churning the contents of my stomach into clay-like mush. It would have been so much easier if we just didnât know who did it.
But we did.
Once safely out of sight of everyone else, Brad turned to us and said, âAll right, what did you need to tell me about Jessica? Is she hurt?â
âNo,â Kayla said nervously, staring at the metal railings of the bleachers.
âAll right. Good. Thatâs a good start.â
I had to take the initiative. I could never stand these tap-dances before getting to the actual point. âBrad, the gun they found in my locker last weekâŠâ
âYeah?â
âJessica was behind it.â
Brad sagged against the wall, his eyes wide and his lips tight. âWhat did you say?â he said quietly.
I knew he heard me. There was no reason to repeat myself. âShe saw me opening my locker before Homecoming. She knows the combination. I donât know if she was the one who actually put it in there butââ
âOkay, shut up,â Brad snapped, rigid with anger, âYou got anything like proof?â
âSheâs the only one besides me that knows my combination.â
âOh, please, bang on the lock hard enough, the locker will swing open.â
âThe security footage shows someone opening it with the combination. And since sheââ
Bradâs teeth were bared. âBullshitâŠyouâre just pissed.â
Kayla started forward. âAbout what?â she demanded.
âNot you. Him.â He pointed at me. âHeâs pissed that he didnât take the chance to date Jessica when he could have.â
âOh, what a load ofââ I started but Kayla cut me off.
âJack,â she said warningly. She turned to Brad. âHe was dating me. He is dating me. If he wanted Jessica, he would have dumped me for her.â
âAnd heâs probably regretting he didnât right now. Thatâs why heâs making up this bullshit about her putting the gun in his locker.â Brad was only a few inches from me and I was aware just how much bigger he was than me. âYouâre jealous.â
âOf what?â I asked defiantly, âI have Kayla. Why would I want anyone else?â
âBecause Kayla is a clingy, annoying waif who can only talk in cutsie phrases like sheâs a fucking five-year-old.â
It sounded like he had rehearsed the insult ahead of time, which made its impact all the stronger. Kaylaâs eyes immediately welled with tears and she angrily dashed them away, gritting her jaw so she looked extra defiant. I gave Brad a shove. âThe fuckâs wrong with you?!â I snarled, âTake that back!â
âNo,â he snarled back, rightening himself, âYou going to fight me about it? You think you can take me?â He spread his arms, making himself look like a mountain.
âIâll take you,â Kayla hissed, still trying to keep the tears back, âYou insulted me so Iâll happily make you choke on your own dick, you piece of shit.â
Brad and I looked at her in astonishment. Her fists were clenched and there was a murderous look in her eye. âYou seriously wanna fight me?â Brad said, a grin on his face.
âI fucking dare you to smile,â Kayla hissed, stepping forward with such violent intent that Brad jumped back, âYeah, Iâll fight you. Right now.â
âKaylaâŠâ
âNo, Jack,â Kayla said, her jaw set, âIf he wants to insult me, he can back up his words with fists.â
Brad was looking around for some way out. He held up his hands. âHey, I didnât mean anything by it.â
âDidnât mean anything by it?â I snapped, turning to him. I couldnât believe how angry I was at him. Not two weeks before, he had been one of my best friends. Now I was ready to take him to the fucking cleaners. What the fuck happened? âYou called her a fucking five-year-old. Whatâs the matter with you?â
âJust telling the truth.â
âNo, itâs not,â I replied, one hand on Kaylaâs arm to stop her from swinging, âI love her.â
âUh huh.â
âI do! With all my heart!â
âDude, grow up,â Brad said, pushing past us, âIf you canât see sheâs just a clingy child then Iâm not the one whose got problems. See you out on the court.â He gave us one last disgusted look, then left.
Kayla was still struggling against her tears, her short breaths heaving her shoulders as she fought desperately to keep composed. I put a hand on her arm and she shook me off angrily. âIâmâŠâ she started but couldnât continue. Her face slowly fell out of its rigid state and the tears started to come. She was beyond resisting at this point and she put her face in her hands.
I pulled her close and held her as she cried. She was trying so hard to stop, clenching her jaw and concentrating hard, but every time she did the tears broke through and she succumbed again. I just held her silently as she let it all out. She held me and buried her face in my shoulder, her sobs shaking her whole body.
âHeâs wrong,â I said quietly, âYouâre not.â
She pulled back and wiped her eyes. She was trying very hard to look composed but her red face and wet eyes were going to have a hard time convincing anyone I took her over here just to tell her a joke. âIâm sorry,â she said quietly.
âNothing for you to be sorry about.â
âI thought he might do something about it. What if we just made it worse?â
I kept my hands on her shoulders. âWell, Jessica already knows we know it was her. Not like she can do much else to us.â
âTake that back!â she said quickly, âDonât jinx it.â
âOkay, okay, I take it back,â I said with a smile. She smiled as well, only half-heartedly.
Our team was still relaxing so at least we didnât have to immediately go out and play. I didnât think I had another game in me. âWhat happened to him?â Kayla asked, looking over at where Brad was talking to Ted.
âI donât know,â I replied, âI mean, yeah, Iâd get pissed if someone told me you did something like that but Iâd at least hear them out.â
She looked at me suddenly. âWhat if Brad was the one whoâŠâ
I caught her meaning and shook my head. âTrust me, if it was Brad they would have recognized his size on the security footage. Giant boulder with a head? Canât mistake him.â
It failed to get a smile. âWell, what if heâs more in on it than we thought. What if heâs helping her?â
âHow?â
âI donât know. Maybe it was his parentsâ gun.â
I hadnât thought of that. Then again, itâs not exactly impossible to get a gun these days, what with so many people having them. âOr it could have belonged to the family of any member of her entourage,â I replied, âDo we want to call every parents of every member and check?â
âJack, please,â she said desperately, âIâm worried about you! What happens now? What happens when Brad tells her about what we said? I donât want anything else to happen to you!â
We sat down and I discreetly took her hand, making sure Ms. Cartwright was looking the other way. âWell, Iâm ready,â I said firmly, âI wasnât last time but at least it wonât be as big a surprise.â
Kayla snorted. âLetâs hope so.â
âI know so. Donât be so worried.â
âI have to be. I love you, Jack.â
âAnd I love you, Kayla. But seriously, itâll be fine. Weâre ready for whatever comes next.â
How I wish that had been true.
She didnât talk much for the rest of the day. Lunch was a silent and uncomfortable affair, with Joe trying to get us to tell him what happened and me having to make continuous promises about later. At one point she spoke, just asking him to be patient, and one look at her face was enough to convince him that waiting was a good idea. He looked back to where Brad sat with Jessica and his brow furrowed in a frown that promised anger and potentially violent repercussions.
âJoe,â I said warningly, âDonât.â He just grunted in response and returned to his food. The other guys at the table were completely lost but had the good sense to not ask questions.
Theater class failed to produce any significant mood change to Kayla. True, I probably wouldnât be inclined to be in a better mood after having to spend an entire class watching the film version of The Winterâs Tale (which seems like a bad idea since any cast members might crim performance tips from the film), but she had me worried. I could see the gears working in her head as she pretended to watch the film. She was holding my hand, limply, like she had forgotten where her hand was. I watched her the whole class and never once did her eyes stray from the spot on the wall that they had chosen to focus on.
âKayla,â I said once the class was done, âWhatâs wrong?â
She just looked at me and tried to smile. Her eyes were sad and her mood, usually so bright and energetic, was morose. She squeezed my hand harder but didnât say anything.
I hoped play rehearsal would perk her up a little bit but she only had one scene to rehearse and she didnât have very many lines in it. Her lack of energy was evident on stage but Ms. Locke was more focused on Jessica and her bitchy attitude to notice. Jessicaâs attitude had been a big problem so far in the play. At first I thought it was just diva behavior but the more I observed, the more I realized she was perfectly fine in scenes where she didnât have to interact with me. As soon as I was on stage with her, that changed completely.
âYou love him!â Ms. Locke exclaimed, gesturing madly, âHe is the light of your life, accusing you of adultery! He has locked you in prison, humiliated you, spat on you, threatened your very life in front of the whole court! But you still love him!â
âWhy would I love him?â Jessica said with a sneer, âSome guy does that to me, Iâll kick him in the balls.â She didnât look at me but Iâm fairly certain I knew who the comment was meant for.
âBut thatâs not what Hermione would do,â Ms. Locke cried, âHermione keeps her love and her pride, even when sheâs at her very lowest. More importantly, she keeps her dignity.â
Jessica rolled her eyes and huffed. âFine. Letâs do it again.â
We did it again and her bitchiness recededâŠsort of. If I was married to her Hermione, Iâd be sleeping with a steel plate over my crotch.
It was only when weâd gotten into my car that Kayla said, âJack, do you mind hanging out at my place for a little bit?â
âSure,â I said, âYour parents wonât mind?â
âThey went out to dinner. They just texted me. I wanted to talk to you.â
The words every boyfriend fears. âYou can talk to me now.â
âJustâŠI wanna do it in a moreâŠjust please take me home.â She looked like she was going to tear up again.
âOkay, okay,â I said quickly, turning on the car. I put my hand on hers but she slid it away. My heart slid down a few notches with it. This wasnât looking good. There were a million things I wanted to say but I didnât have the courage to voice them, not with the potential end of our relationship so close.
I didnât even know why it might end butâŠwell, how many people do until itâs too late?
We pulled up to her house and I shot a quick message to Alan, telling him Iâd be back later. Kayla was already opening the front door and I quickly followed her inside, my heart pounding heavily with each step.
I followed her up to her bedroom, where she immediately sat on the bed and looked directly at me for the first time in hours. âIs Brad right?â she asked.
I blinked. âWhat?â
âAm I too clingy? Too childish?â
âNo!â I said, dropping to my knees and taking her hands, âYou arenât. At all.â
âButâŠI feel like every time weâre apart is justâŠitâs too long until I see you again. I think about you all the time when weâre apart and I just look forward to when I see you again andâŠshit, that sounds really stalkerish, doesnât it?â
I stroked her hair. âKayla,â I said gently, âI feel the same way. Iâm just as clingy as you are.â
âNo, you arenât. I know you can survive without me. ButâŠI feel like if I didnât have you in my lifeâŠâ Tears streaked her cheeks like tiny waterfalls. âIf you werenât in my life, I wouldnât be worth anything.â
âYou are worth everything,â I said, squeezing her hands, âBrad is wrong. Wrong a million times over. Too clingy? Heâs one to talk. Too childish? After prancing around with his dick stuck out after dating Jessica one time? Kayla, I love you. Iâm not just saying that. I absolutely mean it. Every day, I work harder and harder to be worthy of you.â
âDonât you dare say that,â she snarled, gripping my face and staring at me with blazing eyes, âYou deserve me. Good God, Jack, you fought to keep your brother and sister from getting kicked out of the house. You claimed it was your fault! How many other people would actually do that?â
âAnd how many people would scream at cops for their boyfriend?â I asked with a small smile.
She tried to return it. âJack, I want you to tell me if Iâm being too clingy. Please tell me. Be honest.â
I sat next to her on the bed and looked her in the eye. âYou arenât. If you were too clingy, I would tell you. Even if you are to someone else, you arenât to me. You are the perfect amount of everything. I love you and I love who you are. All of you.â
She actually smiled now. She hugged me tightly, sniffling a little. âIâm sorry,â she said quietly.
âYou didnât do anything wrong. I would let you know. And youâd let me know if I ever do anything wrong.â
She pulled back and wiped her eyes. âGuess this whole âbeing in loveâ thing isnât as straightforward as you might think.â
I shrugged. âI donât know. Youâre easy to love.â
She poked me in the ribs. I poked her back and that led to a wrestling match that was surprisingly even, given that she could bust out some serious moves when she wanted. I managed to win only because of her Kryptonite: tickling. I had her pinned on the bed, my fingers digging into her armpits as she writhed and shrieked with laughter.
âI give!â she shrieked between laughs, âI give!â
I released her and she flopped back, red-faced and panting. Frankly, she looked like she had just had a major orgasm. âSome day,â she panted, âIâm gonna find a ticklish spot on you and tickle you into a coma.â
âGood luck,â I said, flopping down beside her.
We lay in silence for a while, our hands lightly grasping each otherâs. Finally, she said, âJack?â
âYeah?â
âCan I try something?â
âSure. What did you want to do?â
She looked at me and leaned in for a kiss. I kissed her back and she ran her fingers through my hair to cup my head. I lifted myself up onto my elbows so she could get a better angle and I could run my hand up her side and stroke the exposed skin at her midriff. We had kissed often enough for me to recognize her intentions: this was a kiss that wanted to be intimate, but in the âmaking loveâ way, not the âfuckingâ way.
âMove back,â she said, pulling back from the kiss. I scooted up the bed until my back was against the wall. She crawled up and straddled my waist, lightly cupping my face with both hands while she kissed me with steadily-growing urgency.
The urgency, though, was in the passion, not the physicality. Her hands on my face held it gently, lightly tracing her fingers down my cheeks. Her body molded to mine instead of smashing against it with carnal desire. For all intents and purposes, we may as well have been just sharing a loving kissâŠexcept for the passion behind it. I could sense her desire, her longing to be intimate with me. Itâs hard to describe. Itâs just something you innately know about the person you love.
The same desire burned in me as well. After today, I wanted to make her feel good. Not just by giving her an orgasm but by letting her feel wholly satisfied. Letting her know how much I cared for her and how close I wanted to be to her. TodayâŠhad just sucked for her. She deserved to have it end happily.
She pulled back from the kiss and smiled at me. âDonât move,â she whispered. Keeping eye-contact, she unbuttoned and unzipped my pants and slowly started to work them down. I did as she asked and didnât move, staring into her eyes as little-by-little she pulled my pants down and off.
She crawled back up and lightly palmed my cock through my boxers as she kissed me again. I was hard already, my cock twitching like a flexed muscle in her hand as she rubbed it lightly. Her tongue darted out and gently parted my lips. Mine came out to meet hers and she grasped my boxers and slid them down as well, allowing my hard cock to bounce out and breathe.
The cool air on my cock made me gasp lightly. Kayla, still keeping eye-contact, smiled. âDonât move, now,â she repeated, sliding down her pants and panties. She crawled back up into my lap, letting her hands rest on my shoulders as she positioned herself over my cock. We kissed deeply, her arms curled around my head as we panted into our kiss. Her eyes were screwed shut but mine were only half-closed. I didnât want to miss the sight of her beautiful face in the midst of its ecstasy as I entered her.
My left hand gripped her thigh while my right slid down between us and I carefully guided my cock to her entrance. She slowly sank down, pulling back from the kiss and throwing her head back. I studied her face as the pressure and wetness slowly enveloped my cock. Her eyes were like when she slept; just barely closed, seemingly in the half-second before awakening. Her lips were just slightly parted, her light inhale raising in octave the more I slid into her. Her eyebrows were raised with just the slightest crease on her forehead that deepened as her thighs finally came to rest fully on mine. Her nostrils flared once or twice, her nose twitching as her eyes slowly opened and came to rest on mine. The look she gave was of absolute trust and love.
There was nothing âhotâ about how she looked, nothing as simple as that. Her expression, if I had to put a label on it, was âblissâ.
I was aware my own mouth was hanging open and the unbelievable sensations of her pussy flexing around my cock were now fully beginning to register. Her eyes held mine as she slowly started to lift herself up and down, her arms gripping my shoulders for balance. I continued to stay still and look her in the eye.
Imagining what it looked like as her pussy slowly raised and lowered on my cock was an oddly arousing experience. Our connection was never broken as we stared into each otherâs eyes, our breath swirling together between us as she slowly ground herself on my lap. I wanted to look, to watch my cock disappear into her slick entrance, but I held fast. She had asked me not to move. I wouldnât move, not even my eyes.
We ground into each other at a deliberate pace so our groins came together with a wet shick rather than a loud slap. The pace teased my cock endlessly, since the pressure was firm but nowhere near as strong as when we were going at it fast and hard. It was like getting a handjob with just the fingertips. It was frustrating and arousing at the same time.
Her hands slid up my neck to wrap around my head. She tried to keep her eyes open but the feeling of pleasure from our sex was overpowering her will. Her eyes slowly closed and her mouth hung open.
I leaned forward and kissed her, my hands sliding down her back to where the skin of her rear peeked out underneath her shirt. I was still looking her eyes so the experience was purely done by touch. My fingers found the softness of her flesh and helped lift her up and set her down with slightly more strength than before.
Her mouth fell open in a gasp. I moaned as well as the extra weight was putting extra pressure on my cock. The wet silk of her pussy tickled my length like little shocks of electricity. The pressure on my cockhead was firm, like I was about to cum, but the pressure came from outside rather than inside. I had to grit my teeth to keep from being too loud.
I wanted to thrust up but the pace we were going was driving me crazy. I knew it was having an effect on her as well, for her fingers were twitching and flexing on my skin. Her cheek was rubbing against my forehead and I could feel the heat of her skin burning me like the sun. She had stopped sliding up and down and was now gyrating her hips on mine, which kept a constant pressure and consistent level of holy shit going.
Her breaths were high-pitched wind now. Her eyes were wide but her brows were crinkled as she started to rock back and forth. âKaylaââ I tried to say but she put a finger on my lips.
âShhâŠshhâŠâ she whispered between pants. Sweat dripped down her forehead. Staring into her eyes for so long, tiny details like that were becoming clearer. The sex itself was teasing me like crazy. I couldnât look away from her face (I didnât want to) so everything was just feeling. Sensations. Everything I normally felt when we had sex but heightened in the absence of sight.
Her eyes were glazing over. I knew that look. It meant she was about to cum. I brought my hands from her ass to the crease where her leg met her hips and gently rubbed it with my thumbs as she ground herself on me. She cooed and gasped, forcing her eyes to stay open. Her wetness had now made my cock so slick, it was gliding in and out of her with almost no resistance from her pussy lips. Inside her, it rubbed against her walls and tapped her cervix so she gave strangled gasps every time she hit the right angle.
I was getting close myself. My chest was tightening from all the shallow breathing and the hyper-sensitive head of my cock was sending waves of pleasure down into my balls. They woke up and started to respond.
Kayla was biting her lips, hissing through her nose. Even her shoulders were being used to thrust her down onto my cock, forcing her ever closer to the edge of her orgasm. Discreetly, I slid my thumb down the crease of her leg and gently pressed against her clit.
Her mouth dropped open and she slammed down on my cock. Her eyes were squeezed shut as a silent scream blew into my face and a cascade of her wet cum exploded onto my cock. That was enough to cause me to blow my load as well, grunting as my cum shot up into her. Our hands were squeezing each other hard enough to leave bruises but the only thing we felt was the shivering tingle that ran through our bodies as our orgasms climaxed.
I leaned back against the wall, panting but nowhere near as hard as I normally did. Kayla was leaning into my chest, her arms wrapped around my waist. Our shirts were sticking to us and I had the distinct impression, based on some pretty strong evidence, that I was going to need to take a shower as soon as I got home.
Kayla looked up at me and gave me a kiss. âThank you for that,â she said.
âOf course,â I said, smiling, âWhat was it you wanted to try? Not breaking eye-contact?â
âYeah,â she replied, sliding me out of her and laying beside me, âI just wanted to know how the connection would work. How strong it would be. Like, our sex is amazing but what would it be like if the sex was in the background and it was just you and me, in the moment. Itâs hard to explain butâŠwell, it turned out to be everything Iâd hoped it would be.â
I stroked her hair. âWell, I hope next time we can take our shirts off, too. I stink.â
She laughed. âYeah, you do.â
âDo you need to be tickled again?â
She giggled and stroked my cheek. âI love you,â she said in a placating voice.
âYeah, yeah, I love you too,â I pretended to grumble. I looked down at her sheets, which had been stained with her wetness and our mixed cum. âYouâll need to give these a wash.â
She looked down and grimaced. âYou arenât kidding.â
We pulled on our pants and I helped her change out her blankets. âAre you feeling better?â I asked her as we put her old blanket in the washer.
She grinned at me. âAfter thatâŠabsolutely.â
âI know but I meanâŠwell, with what Brad said earlier.â
She sighed and leaned against me. âIt still hurts but if you donât think Iâm clingyâŠâ
âI donât.â
âWell,â she said, looking up at me, âYouâll let me know, right?â
âI will.â
âGood.â She kissed me on the cheek. âWhat do you wanna do now?â
âI donât know,â I said, âI guess I could head home.â One look at her face told me that wasnât an option. âOrâŠI could stay here. Help you with your English.â
She pulled a face. âIf I donât have to think about The Great Gatsby ever again, itâll be a good life.â
âCome on. Lord of the Flies wasnâtââ
âIt was.â
âOkay, but you can get through this one, too.â
âI guess,â she said, giving me a grin that suggested she had a better idea, âOrâŠwe can see if your Smash Bros skills have improved at all.â
I was trapped. Inevitable defeat was looking at me with a smile and a hair bow. âCan we just say you win?â
âWe could, but then youâd deny me the satisfaction of actually winning.â
I sighed. âAll right,â I said, trying to sound confident, âBut I bet I win this time.â
Thirty consecutive defeats laterâŠ
I left around nine, my pride thoroughly crushed under the weight of my losses. I had put up a valiant fight, even came close to winning a couple times, but she was a magician with the controls. I felt ashamed to call myself a game lover. Kayla kissed me better and said, âIâll let you beat me at something else sometime.â
âActually, there is something I would like you to let me do.â
Her eyebrows raised in curiosity. âWhat?â
I pulled her close. âI want to eat you out,â I whispered huskily in her ear, squeezing her butt as I did.
She slid her hand up my crotch and looked me in the eye, one eyebrow quirked sexily. âSoon, Mr. Eager,â she said, kissing me, âI canât wait.â
âAwesome,â I said, stepping out onto the porch, âLove you, gorgeous.â
âLove you, handsome.â
The shower was welcome and not just for getting the stink off my body. The sex had been an amazing way to relax but the warm water on my muscles seemed to solidify the lack of tension. I soaped and rinsed at least three times before I felt fully clean. Usually my shower time was when I reflected on the troubles in my life and how to fix them, but not today. Today was just about relaxing.
There had been enough stress already.
I toweled myself off and got dressed before my stomach gave me a very strong reminder that I had yet to eat dinner. I went downstairs to grab a plate of whatever mom made this morning and, to my shock, I found dad sitting at the table, picking at a plate of lasagna.
âHey, Jack,â he said, looking up.
âHey,â I replied, frowning, âI thought you were at work until really late.â
âGot out early today,â he said, taking a bite, âHow was school?â
âAll right.â I went and grabbed a plate of lasagna. âWhatâs up?â I asked as I sat down across from him.
He pushed away his plate and stared down at the table. âOh, you knowâŠjust trying to figure out this whole thing.â He didnât sound mad, which was a plus. âYou know, of all the things I imagined you kids doing, this never came up.â
âWell, when I have my own kids, now I know to think about it,â I replied, cutting into the lasagna.
Dad looked up sharply. âItâs not funny,â he growled, âThis is serious.â
âWhy? Why is it so serious? How is this hurting you?â
âBecauseâŠâ I watched the absolute certainty with which he started come crashing down around him. I knew he didnât have anything.
âAside from it being âmorally wrongâ, how is this hurting you?â
âIt could hurt us, Jack! If the wrong people found outâŠâ
âThen what? Society shuns us? Who gives a shit?â I pushed away my plate. âDad, the important thing here is not what the people out there think.â I pointed to the window. âThe important thing is that your children love each other. Are in love with each other. And they need your support and blessing.â
âAnd why should I give it if I donât agree with it?â
âBecause theyâre your children,â I replied, âYou donât have to want to do it to agree with it. You can support gay marriage but not be gay. You can support medicinal marijuana without wanting any yourself.â
âThose are different.â
âNoâŠtheyâŠarenât,â I said emphatically, âThey are two people who love each other. Isnât saying that they shouldnât be together because of some moral outrage the same as saying two gay people shouldnât be together because you donât âmorally agreeâ with it.â
Dad put his head in his hands. He took a few deep breaths and looked up at me. âSo, what, you think we should just ignore it? Pretend like nothing is wrong?â
âNothing is wrong, dad. And Iâm saying you should ignore it; Iâm saying you should find the positive in it and focus on that. Remember when you said that to me?â
âWhen?â
âThe first day of my freshman year. I told you I didnât want to go to school because it was nothing but jagoffs and losers posturing for each other so they can feel like theyâre important. You said I needed to find the positive in it and focus on it, otherwise Iâd always be miserable.â
He was silent for a long time, staring at the table in front of me. âYouâre growing up fast, Jack,â he said slowly. I didnât say anything. He was thinking, reaching his own decision. I had to let him do that on his own. Finally, he sighed. âIâm not ready to rule on this just yet,â he said, standing up, âI have to talk to your mother.â
âDadââ
He held up a hand. âWhatever you think, Jack, we are your parents and we have to do what is right for everyone, not just for Alan and Amanda.â I had no clue what that meant. Keeping the family together must be best for everyone, right? âBut I promiseâŠto try and be lenient and understanding.â
âThanks,â I said. It was probably the best I was going to get.
He gave me a small smile and pointed at my plate. âEat,â he said, âGrowing mind needs a growing body.â
He left and I stared down at my food. I tried to work up an appetite but even the thought of food made my stomach deflate. I folded my arms on the table and lay my forehead on them, hoping against hope that someday life would be easy.
———————————————————————————————————————————————-
âIf youâre not going to take this seriously, Jessica,â Ms. Locke shouted, standing up in a fury, âthen weâll just call it a day!â She kicked back her chair and stomped out of the auditorium.
Everyone was frozen in position on the stage, looking at each other incredulously. We were halfway through the scene where Hermione is brought on trial before Leontes to declare her innocence. Based on Jessicaâs acting, however, youâd think we were all gather to wake her up. Sheâd been sleep-walking through her performance all day, giving just enough energy to be heard and no more. What was going on with the Wilsons? First Ted shows up kicked to crap and now Jessica looks like she canât see straight.
Weird.
Slowly, the cast dispersed as we realized Ms. Locke was serious about just giving up. Not too bad, especially considering it was Friday. Kayla was looking at Jessica. âThink we should talk to her?â she asked.
âReal talk or your kind of talk?â
She stuck her tongue out. âA real talk, doofus. See whatâs up.â
I gave her a glance and shook my head. âShe wouldnât tell us anything. Hell, sheâd probably run if she saw you coming at her.â
âYeah, because Iâm so intimidating.â
âI donât know,â I said, feeling her muscles, âKick my ass with those if you wanted.â She laughed and flexed.
Jessicaâs attitude toward us (namely, hostile ignorance) hadnât changed at all but the past couple of days, it seemed less calculated toward us and rather to the world in general. She just flat-out didnât care anymore, making her an irritant to everyone, especially the rest of the play cast. Everyone was giving their all in the play and it was more than a little frustrating to see Jessica, as one of the lead actresses, being a Lindsay Lohan about the whole thing. Honestly, the only reason I think Ms. Locke hadnât removed her yet was because sheâd have to admit she made a mistake in casting.
God forbid.
We pulled up to Kaylaâs house and she heaved a sigh. âI need to read the book,â she groaned, âUgh!â
âNeed any help?â I asked.
She brushed her fingers on my cheek. âThanks, baby, but I really do need to concentrate on this.â
I pretended to pout and said, âAm I a distraction?â
âThe best kind!â she exclaimed, leaning in to kiss me, âBut I need to get this reading done, even I donât understand what the hell Iâm reading.â
I laughed and said, âYouâll text me when youâre done, right?â
âAbsolutely,â she said happily, âIâm gonna need some loving after reading.â
âHappy to oblige,â I said, grinning. Her parents were out of town again. She wouldnât even need to get herself psyched up for college; sheâll already be used to living on her own.
âBet you are. Love ya!â She gave me another kiss and bounced out of the car, waving to me as she hopped up onto the porch. I looked after her for a minute, wishing I could follow her in, then pulled into our driveway.
Alan and Amanda were deep in discussion when I walked past their bedroom. I stopped in the doorway. âHey, guys,â I said, âWhat you talking about?â
They sighed and Amanda said, âWe justâŠitâs been such an uncomfortable week and we were talking aboutâŠâ She looked too pained to continue.
âWhat?â I asked, folding my arms and frowning.
Alan took Amandaâs hand and finished: âWe were going to talk to mom and dad and let them know that weâre not going to do anything ever again. Weâll stop all feelings for each other and get separate rooms. AndâŠif they wantâŠIâll move out andââ
âNo!â I shouted, making them both jump, âThatâs not going to happen!â
They stared at me. âButââ
âStop! You two are going to stay here and youâre going to stay in love and mom and dad are going to be happy with it! And youâre going to stay happy with it too! No arguments!â
Amanda stood up and walked toward me. âJack, look, weâre okay withââ
âNoâŠyouâre not,â I snapped, cutting her off, âLook at him.â She looked at Alan. âNow tell him that you can stop loving him.â
She turned back to me. âJackââ
âTell him!â I roared, âTell him to his face that you can stop loving him just because itâs hard!â
Her lip quivered and she turned back to Alan, who looked at her with sad eyes. She opened her mouth a couple of times, then turned back to me, shaking her head and close to crying. âI canât do that,â she whispered.
I came over and hugged her. âThen how can you say you guys should be separated? How can you say you can just stop your feelings for each other?â I motioned Alan over and we all wrapped ourselves in a sibling hug. Amanda was crying a little and Alan was looking like someone had killed a puppy in front of him. âYou guys are meant for each other, okay? You wouldnât feel like this if you werenât supposed to.â
They pulled back and nodded, holding each otherâs hand. âThanks, Jack,â Alan said, âGuess we just needed a little shouting toâŠâ
âIf I could have done it without shouting, I would have. You guys knew separating wasnât the right thing.â
âIt would have made things a lot easier,â Alan said quietly, sitting on the bed.
I nodded. âIt would have but thatâs not the point. If stuff like this was easy, it wouldnât beâŠwell, it wouldnât be love.â
Amanda cocked her head slightly. âLoving Kayla isnât easy?â
Hmm, that was a good question. âLoving Kayla is easy. And Iâm willing to wade through the hard stuff to make sure sheâs happy. Because sheâs worth it.â
Amanda smiled. âAwww.â
âYou guys relax,â I said, leaving the room, âMom and dad will come around soon.â
I hope.
I spent a couple empty hours pulling heists in Grand Theft Auto. My phone was on the floor beside me and I kept glancing at it every time I thought it vibrated. Poor Kayla. I know she needed to actually read the book but I would have been happy just sitting in silence with her while she read. Was I really that much of a distraction?
Dang it, now I was sounding clingy.
I got up at one point and looked across to her window but I didnât see her. Either she was lying on her bed or she was down in the living room. I sighed and glanced at my phone again. Should I text her? Just to say âheyâ? No, she was trying to concentrate and if I texted her, sheâd feel obligated to text back and then weâd start a conversation and she wouldnât get back to her bookâŠ
Being responsible is such a cock-block.
I was trying to set a record motorcycle jump in the game when my phone suddenly rang. The controller crashed to the ground as I seized it and looked at the caller. Dad. Dang it. But okay, itâll be good to hear from him. He usually doesnât call while heâs at work.
âHey, dad,â I said, answering.
âHey, Jack,â dad replied, âAre Alan and Amanda around?â
âTheyâre in their room. Why?â
âWellâŠlook, I know the past few days have been very uncomfortable for them andâŠwell, I wanted to apologize.â
âItâs okay.â
âAnd I should apologize to them as well but I think we need to do it in person. Your mom and me.â
âOkay.â
He sighed heavily. âJackâŠwe need to talk with all of you when we get home tonight. Your mom and IâŠweâre been discussing everything and weâve come to a decision on what should be done.â
My stomach lurched. âWhat is it?â
âWeâll talk to you all tonight. Just wanted to get you prepared.â That didnât sound good. âWe love you guys.â
âWe love you too,â I said, keeping my voice level, âRemember what I said.â
âWe did. I promise.â
âOkay.â
âOh, hey, donât forget to take the trash out tonight.â
âOkay.â
âI love you, Jack.â
âLove you too, dad.â
I hung up and shut off the game. I couldnât play anymore, not with the prospect of bad news hanging over my head. Dad hadnât sounded like anything bad was going to be said tonight but I couldnât be sure. Mom usually delivered the bad news.
I got up and started pacing. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. It was going to be a long few hours, especially with Kayla occupied with her book. Maybe if I told herâŠno, she needed to do her work. Damn it. I wanted to be selfish and text her anyway but I couldnât. She would respect me if I needed to do work and I needed to respect her.
What was I going to do in the meantime? Homework? Well, thatâll eat up about ten minutes, and then what? I wanted to text Joe, but he was probably on a date with Belle. Brad was out of the question. Tara maybe?
I picked up my phone and shot a quick text to her.
Me: Hey coz
I wasnât planning on telling her anything but it always felt nice to just talk with her.
Two hours later, there was no response from her. She was probably busy. Damn. I had filled in the time as best I could. I tried playing video games again, I tried reading, I got all my homework done (seven minutes, at most), I grabbed some of the chicken pot pie mom had made this morning. Time just crawled on.
Alan and Amanda were always deep in conversation when I went by their room. I wanted to join them, if only so I wasnât alone, but I knew they needed to discuss their own things. Besides, if I talked with them, I might accidentally let something slip about tonight.
Tonight. Fuck, why wonât it get here?!
Donât you just hate waiting those last couple of hours for something? A date, a phone call, an interview, anything. The last couple of hours are always the worst. The last fifteen minutes are pure torture. And I was nowhere near those last fifteen minutes yet.
Maybe we needed to get a pet. Like Tori. I wondered if everyone else in my family was a dog or a cat person. Oddly enough, it had never come up. We were too busy playing and messing with each other to want a pet. Did mom and dad ever feel like they had to put us on a leash? Maybe you can train a kid the same way you train a dogâŠ
These were the thoughts my brain was trying to make to pass the time. If I ever start wondering something like âwhat sound does an apple make?â, do me a favor and call me some help.
Creeping up on nine, when the sun was down and I was well and truly out of anything else to eat up time, I decided I might as well take the trash out. Thereâs another ten minutes I can easily eat up. I was clutching at straws by this point.
I doubt it took me five minutes to gather up all the trash in the house and bring it out to the big trash can in the garage. Alan and Amanda offered to help but I turned them down. That would just make it go by quicker. I dragged the trash can out to the curb, trying my best to make each step last a minute. I glanced both ways up the road, hoping to see mom or dad coming home early, but no such luck.
I slid the trash can into the crease of the curb and leaned against it for a second. I had been putting off thinking about what might come out of the talk tonight, but I couldnât anymore. I didnât mind if I got punished if it got Alan and Amanda off the hook, but my parents werenât going to forget them. Being sent away was the Worst Possible Scenario, one I hoped we could avoid butâŠDamn it, I wish I could have eavesdropped on one of mom and dadâs conversations. At least then I would have known how things stood.
A sudden pressure on my ankle made me jump and I looked down to see a cat winding itself around my legs. It looked up at me and I saw, to my shock, that it was Tori. âHey, Tori,â I said, crouching down and scratching her ears, âWhat are you doing out here?â
I looked over at Kaylaâs house and noticed that the garage door was open. I thought maybe one of her parents just got home, but the light wasnât on in the garage. And they would have shut the garage door when they got in the houseâŠWeird. I walked a little closer, peering into the black hole through the garage door and saw no car.
A horrible, terrifying feeling creeped up my spine and I pulled out my phone. I dialed Kaylaâs number. Two endless rings later, she answered. âHey, Jack!â
âHey, Kayla,â I said, slightly relieved but still trembling, âDid you happen to open your garage door recently?â
âNo. Why?â
âBecause itâsââ
âJackâŠare you in my house?â I could hear the wink in her voice.
âNo, Iâmââ
âJack, I can hear you coming up the stairs. You could have just asked to come over.â
Oh no. KaylaâŠ
âKayla,â I said in a panic, âThatâs not me! Lock your door! Donâtââ
My words were cut off by a scream over the phone and the sound of it being dropped. I was already racing toward her house, fear and rage chasing me with spears to make me run faster. The door leading from the garage to the house was open and I flew through it, pounding up the stairs and bursting into Kaylaâs room. It had taken me maybe ten seconds to get there, but the terror of what might be happening had made it seem like an eternity.
Kayla was struggling valiantly against someone dressed completely in black. She was beating with hands and feet but whoever it was had tackled her against the bed and she was having a hard time grounding herself so that she could land a decent hit. They had switched off the light and I flicked it back on, taking them both by surprise. The attacker threw up a hand to shield their eyes and that was all the time I needed to rush over, punch them in the face (which was covered by a face mask so only the eyes were visible) and haul them off Kayla.
They thrashed like a hooked fish. I squeezed with one arm around their midriff and seized the mask with my other hand. They desperately bucked in my arm and succeeded in kicking me in the knee. The pain was enough to make me loosen my grip and they burst free, dashing out of the room.
With a bellow of rage, I gave chase. He (it had to be a âheâ, just based on body shape alone) was already halfway down the stairs. I pounded after him and flew down the last half, trying to tackle him against the ground. I missed the hold I was going for but managed to seize one side of his pants. He thrashed and struggled and tugged free with a long riiiiiiiip. Part of the fabric came away in my hand.
I was on my feet in a minute, ready to continue the chase, but by then the attacker was in the garage and dashing across the lawn into the night. There was no way I was going to be able to catch him at this point. I slammed my fist into the floor, roaring with anger. Why hadnât I been faster? Why couldnât I hold them? Why couldnât I protect Kayla?
KaylaâŠ
A sob from upstairs drew me back to reality and I hurled myself up the steps. She was curled up against her bed, shaking and sobbing with fear. She saw me and immediately hurled herself into my arms, clutching at me and shaking so violently, I thought she was going to fall apart.
âItâs okay, baby,â I whispered, âIâm here.â
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The police suggested we move Kayla to my house for the time being, just in case whoever it was decided to come back. They contacted Kaylaâs parents, who were a state away, and took our statements. We couldnât give them much. Kayla had been taken by surprise and I had been so obsessed with trying to get them away from her that I hadnât thought to notice any distinct features. Not that there would have been any to see since whoever it was had been bundled up tight. I couldnât even remember their eye color. All I knew was that it was a male about my size.
Kayla held onto me the entire time as the police explained that the attacker most likely pulled open the garage door, since Kayla would have heard it sliding open automatically. Kayla mentioned that the attacker had been wearing gloves so there was no point in dusting for fingerprints. I gave them the strip of fabric I had pulled from the attacker, without much hope that it would turn up anything.
They asked us the usual questions: is there anyone whoâs made threats? Do we have any enemies? Has she noticed anyone following her? None of our answers were going to help lead to anyoneâs arrest. We couldnât pinpoint anyone specific. Jessica was the most likely suspect, at least as the person behind the attack, but we had no proof.
The officers seemed satisfied with the scant answers we were able to give and promised to update us if they had anything new or had any more questions to ask. They bade us good night and let us in one last time to get her an overnight bag.
We gathered a few clothes and other things from her room and made our way back to my house, where Tori was curled up on the front step. âSheâs a hero,â I said to Kayla, âShe was the one who alerted me.â
âGood girl, Tori,â Kayla said in a small voice, still holding onto me.
Alan and Amanda were nothing but sympathetic, giving her tight hugs and promising to help watch over her tonight. Kayla thanked them both. She was trying her best to recover and put on a ânormalâ demeanor, which only made her fear more obvious. Amanda saw it too and pulled her in for a tight hug. Kayla refused to let go for almost ten minutes, shaking the entire time.
I got her some hot tea and the drink seemed to steady her a bit. Tori was exploring the house, sniffing in the corners and glaring suspiciously at unfamiliar ornaments. Alan and Amanda were both taken with her at once.
âWe should get a cat,â Amanda said as she trailed her fingers down Toriâs back.
âI thought you hated them,â Alan replied, amused.
âI was five years old! I thought I hated broccoli back then!â
âYou still do.â
âWellâŠyes.â
Kayla laughed a little at that. âThanks, guys,â she said huskily, âFor helping me.â
âOf course,â Alan said, kneeling down next to her, âWeâre here for you.â
Kayla looked up at me. âDo you thinkâŠmaybe I could go lie down for a bit?â
âAbsolutely,â I said, helping her to her feet. I carried her back with the few sundry things she had grabbed from her room and brought her up to mine.
She sat down on mine. âI canât believe that just happened,â she whispered.
I looked outside, where the police cars still sat and the officers milled about. âItâs not going to happen again,â I said, âNot as long as youâre here.â
She smiled a little. âI wish I had been stronger. I wish I had been able to fight him off.â
âYou had no way of knowing. Donât you dare feel bad about this. Nothing is your fault.â
âI know,â she said, rubbing her nose and sniffing, âI just donât want to seem like Iâm weak. If whoever it is thinks Iâm weakâŠthey might come back.â
I brought her in for a long, tight hug. She didnât cry but just held tight onto me like we were poised at the top of a mountain with room enough only for one. âI thinkâŠI want to get into my pajamas,â she said quietly.
âOf course.â
I picked through her bag and pulled out her sweatpants and tank-top. As I handed the clothes to her, my hand fell on a thick, hard object in her bag. I pulled it out. âWhatâs this?â I asked her.
She was in the process of taking off her shirt, something I would have found way more interesting under different circumstances. She glanced at it. âI donât know,â she said, frowning at it, âI scooped it up with the rest of my clothes. I thought it was a sock.â
âYou have black socks?â
âJack, I was just grabbing stuff. I wanted to get out of there.â
âI know. Iâm sorry. Itâs not yours?â
âNever seen it before.â
I opened it. It was a wallet. I picked through its contents: a few loose bills, some gift cards, a few small cards with phone numbers scratched on them. âThis must have belonged to the guy who attacked you,â I said.
âShould we give it to the cops?â
âWe will,â I said. That is, after I found out who the motherfucker was who attacked the woman I love. There was no driverâs license but I found a business card for a consulting firm named Meyers and Co. The card was for a Mr. Jeffrey Carter. But Mr. Jeffrey Carter was obviously not the attacker so there was only one other person it could be.
Craig.
I dropped the wallet and left the room. âJack?â Kayla called after me, but I was too blinded by rage to hear her.
I found Alan and Amanda in the living room, playing with Tori. They took one look at me and stood up, full of concern. âJack, what is it?â Alan asked.
âUp in my room,â I said in a measured voice, âYouâll find a wallet. The wallet belonged to the person who attacked Kayla. Give it to the police and show them the business card inside it. Itâll lead them to the attacker.â
âWhy canât you do it?â he asked.
âBecause Iâm gonna go find this asshole and beat him to a pulp.â I wasnât thinking clearly. God damn it, I had given Craig the benefit of the doubt after he had been proven innocent of putting that gun in my locker. Now he goes and does this.
I wanted him to suffer.
I was aware that my siblings were talking to me as I pulled on my shoes and grabbed my keys but I was too far-gone to hear them. No, I wasnât doing the right thing. In the moment, all I saw of right and wrong was Kayla cowering against her bed with tears in her eyes. I was enraged.
My phone was in my hand as I walked out to my car, calling Joe. He picked up on the third ring.
âHey, man,â he said, âWhatâs up?â
âKaylaâs been attacked.â
âWhat?!â
âIt was Craig. He left his wallet. Iâm going to go find him.â
âWhoa, Jack, slowââ
âIâm starting at the Old Gin Rummy. Meet me there.â
âJack!â
I had already hung up. I think there was a part of me that knew I was being too irrational, too eager for violence, but that image of Kayla cowering against her bedâŠI wanted to cry hot tears of anger and pain.
I opened my phone again and dialed Brad. It was a long-shot but I knew he hated Craig just as much as I did.
âYeah?â he answered after a few seconds.
âBradâŠCraig attacked Kayla.â
âJesus Christ!â
âYeah. Iâm headed down to the Old Gin Rummy to find him. Meet me there.â
âIâm kinda busyâŠâ
âIt can wait. Just meet me there!â
I hung up and started my car. My heart was thumping painfully, each thump fueling the anger that was coursing through my veins. I was fighting hard to keep in control. I wanted to fly out into the streets and tear through town until I found Craig. I forced myself to go slowly and obey traffic laws. No reason to get pulled over before I got there.
It was a good thing I went slowly because it gave time for the rational part of my brain to kick in. I no longer wanted to hurt CraigâŠokay, I did, but I wasnât going to. I was going to confront him, demand a confession from him. I had found his wallet; he couldnât possibly deny that. If he wanted a fight, Iâd just beat him again. If I had been able to drive for a little bit longer, perhaps the rational part of my brain would have superseded my anger and I would have turned around and gone home.
Thatâs what I should have done.
Itâs not what I did.
I parked out front of the place and walked in, doing my best to look normal and inconspicuous. My heart was still thumping with rage but at least now I was able to bed down the desire to boot open the door and scream out Craigâs name. The place was lively as always for a Friday night and I had a hard time pushing my way up to the bar. âExcuse me!â I called to the bartender.
He glanced at me. âYouâre a bit young to be here, arenât you?â he asked.
I leaned in close. âIâm looking for Craig Carter!â
The bartender stopped pouring his drink and looked me full in the face. âHeâs my cousin,â he said evenly, âWhat do you want with him?â
âI just want to talk to him.â
âWhatâs your name?â
âJack Harrison.â
He looked at me for a few seconds, then jerked his head toward the back wall. âHeâs over there.â He went back to pouring drinks but one eye stayed on me the whole time.
I pushed my way through the crowd of wannabe-hipsters and slack-jawed dweebs to find Craig nursing a beer in a lonely booth. He saw me coming and immediately stood up. âWhat do you want?â he snarled.
I stepped close enough to let him know I meant business. âI wanna talk. Letâs go outside.â
âWe can talk just fine here,â he replied, folding his arms.
âSuit yourself. I want everyone to know what you did.â
He scoffed. âAnd what did I do?â
âYou attacked Kayla!â I made sure to say it loudly so the people around us would look around.
His jaw dropped. âI didnât!â
âYes you did! I chased you out of her house less than an hour ago!â
I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up to see one of the two muscles-with-a-head that Craig had brought with him to the school parking lot standing behind me. âGot a problem, Craig?â he asked in a voice that came from somewhere in the lower chest area.
âApparently, we do,â he replied, narrowing his eyes at me. He jerked his head toward the door. âLetâs go talk outside.â
The bouncer kept his hand on my shoulder the whole time. The pressure was light but there was enough of a threat behind it for me to realize it was probably a bad idea to try anything stupid. We walked around to the alley where I had picked up Kayla all that time ago. There, Craig turned around and folded his arms again, hate etched everywhere on his face. âI didnât do anything to Kayla.â
âCraig, I chased you out of her house. Iâm not that stupid.â
âWhen?â
âLess than an hour ago. More than enough time for you to change and get back here.â
Craig looked at the bouncer. âMarco, tell him where Iâve been for the past few hours.â
The bouncer replied, âHeâs been here. He came in around seven-thirty and he hasnât left once. We would have known.â
I scoffed. âIs that what you told him to say?â
âThere are security cameras in the place,â Craig replied icily, âTheyâll all show me being here since seven-thirty.â
âIf you were here, then why did I find your wallet at her place?â
He started. âYou found my wallet?â he asked.
âYeah, pretty stupid of you to leave that behind.â
âMy walletâs been missing since Thursday,â he snarled, his face turning red, âSince gym class. Did you take it just to set me up?â
âOh, yeah, that makes a lot of sense!â
âJust like it makes a lot of sense for me to attack your stupid girlfriend and just happen to leave my wallet behind?â
âI donât know how your stupid mind works, you dumb shit!â
Craigâs teeth were bared like a tigerâs and he snapped, âHold him!â My arms were suddenly being pressed against my sides. I wanted to struggle but the thought had hardly formed in my head before I saw Craig charging at me. He drove his fist into my stomach, using the force of his running to drive it in deeper. The breath exploded out of my body and with it the ability to use my arms and legs.
I sank to my knees. âLeave me the fuck alone!â Craig roared, slamming his fist into my face, âIâm sick and tired of you always picking on me! Stay out of my life!â He kicked me hard in the stomach, driving out what little breath I had left, and then drew back his elbow and slammed the point into the side of my head.
The impact wasnât as hard as I expected, probably because the lack of breath took away all feeling in my body. I was numb, my vision swirling gray and fogginess, like when youâve been lying on a couch for too long and get up too fast. It was a fight to stay conscious. Hell, it was a fight to breathe. My hands were at my stomach and I was croaking and gasping, desperately trying to fill my lungs.
Dimly, I saw the bouncer holding Craig back. The fog returned for a second and when it cleared, I saw them walking away. There was nothing I could do. I couldnât move. I couldnât think. All I could do was feel. I felt myself sway back and forth, my movement undeterred by any control in my limbs.
âJack!â
I heard the call dimly. Maybe I just imagined it. I imagined Kayla, laying beside me in bed. I imagined her smiling at me and leaning in to give me one of her heavenly kisses. Then the image changed and once again, I saw her crouched by her bed, the look of terror in her face.
âJack!â
Someone was grasping my shoulders, laying me back. My vision was getting hazier and I felt like I was going to pass out at any second. The air was rushing to my head, filling it like a balloon, and I couldnât fight it much longer. Joeâs face swam into view, looking down at me in horror.
The darkness was closing in around me. Joe was here. Thatâs right. We were supposed to meet up.
My last thought, before I passed out, was that I probably should have waited for Joe before going in.
I should have thought through my plan more carefully.
I should have done a lot of things better.
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Author’s Note:
Hey everyone! First of all, thank you so much for all the supportive comments. It really means a lot to me to read them and it helps give me energy and motivation to continue. Suggestions are, as always, welcome, so keep them coming.
One of the comments asked how long I was planning to make this series. Specifically, they were asking if it was going to be as long as ‘Allison and the Primdales’ (forgive me if I misspelled that). Well…I don’t know yet. We’ll see where this goes. I do have plans to continue it for a long while yet but I don’t know exactly where the end is.
Hope you all enjoyed reading and I’ll see you in the next chapter.