Shit On My Porch

Someone had shit on my back porch deck two Saturday nights in a row. That was when I had finished building it and had stained it with the best weather resistant stain on the market. Apparently one of my neighbors was having fun with me. Well two could play that game…I set up a motion sensor that would trip my digital video camera and waited.

The following Sunday morning I hosed off the poop on my porch for the third time and took my video camera inside. I transferred the video to my computer and watched as little Barbara came running up on my porch completely naked. She danced around on my porch for a few minutes rubbing her tiny titties and her hairless pussy. When she was done dancing and rubbing she squatted down with her crotch aimed perfectly at my hidden camera and started to grunt. She peed and pooped on my porch, then she ran off laughing.

Now I knew what the neighborhood children called me, but I didn’t really care if they liked me or not because it kept them away from my house. I got almost no knocks on my door to buy, candy, magazines, or even for Halloween treats.

Most of their parents left me alone too and I liked it that way. I may be old and retired but I certainly didn’t need to talk to any of the narrow-minded people that infested the neighborhood.

The thing is that I knew Barbara and her mother Sylvia. I had helped her out a few times when her car wouldn’t start and she needed a ride to work. Sylvia was a secretary in the bank next door to were I had owned a business for over forty years. Last year I sold it and retired. That was when I started making improvements around my house. I had it insulated, I had new double pane windows installed, and new Vinyl siding put on. I had a new roof put on even though I didn’t need one. I was preparing for the rest of my life…hopefully with a trouble free house.

I had installed a new fence all around my backyard. It was an eight-foot privacy fence that had been guaranteed for twenty years.

I built my back porch as a deck that would surround the new Jacuzzi that was on backorder and had not arrived yet. It looked funny with a big hexagon opening at one side.

Well back to Barbara…what to do with her.

The video clip had been recorded shortly after midnight so I waited up the following Saturday. I had set a trap for her and was waiting inside a big box that I had brought home from a furniture store.

I knew that with her curiosity that she would not be able to resist going inside the box. It worked like a mousetrap. When her weight stepped on the platform the door slammed shout behind her and a light came on scaring her to death.

It took her a moment to adjust to the bright light in her face and then to see me. Finally Barbara whispered, “I’m sorry. It was just a joke. I’ll never do it again. I swear.”

I asked, “So why did you shit on my porch?”

Barbara answered, “It started out as a joke, honest. Betty dared me to do it, then Ronnie dared me to do it, and then Jill and tonight Stacey dared me. The girls are standing on the picnic table next door watching me over your fence right now.”

I said, “Okay then you better go out there and put on a good show for your friends. I have a video camera trained on my porch so do a really good job for me too. Then I want to see you tomorrow after church.”

Barbara said, “Okay” and then I released the latch on the door so that she could get out.

I waited long after the coast was clear, and then I got my camera and went inside to see what Barbara had done.

I had to smile as the little nymph danced around putting on a really good show for me before leaving a small dump behind.

The next day Barbara arrived in her church dress. She looked like a little angle in her white dress with pink flowers on it. She sat down very lady like with her knees together and her hands folded in her lap. I thought that it was funny since I had seen her naked early that morning.

I said, “I have been thinking about your punishment. I think you should dare your four friends to dance naked on my back porch. After all you have done it four time now and they have not done it at all.”

Barbara replied, “That’s a great idea, you can see them naked, and take their pictures too.”

I then showed Barbara the two videos that I had taken of her previously. She apologized both times when she saw herself shit on my porch.

I said, “How about you and your mother coming over and christening my Jacuzzi when it arrives and gets setup?”

Barbara asked, “Would we have to wear our bathing suits?”

I asked, “What else would you wear?”

Barbara replied, “Whenever we go into grandpa’s hot tub we have to be naked. It’s the rule. Then after a while Mom usually goes off with grandpa while grandma entertains me. I think they have sex.”

I then said, “I like that rule. Do you suppose your mother will go along with it?”

She replied, “Don’t tell her until she starts to go in. Then tell her that her father’s rule applies here too.”

I said, “Good idea.” Then I let Barbara go home.

The following Saturday my Jacuzzi was installed, filled, and being heated slowly. The men told me that I should be able to use it the following evening. I then called Barbara’s mother and invited her and her daughter over to christen it Sunday afternoon with a nice dinner served in the Jacuzzi. She accepted my kind offer and told me about a new bikini that she just purchased. I smiled knowing that I would enjoy seeing her in and out of it too.

Barbara’s mother was in her mid to late forties and had Barbara when she was in her early thirties. She was a very attractive woman and had never been married. I knew that she dated occasionally but not very often and now I knew why. If her father was fucking her then she didn’t really need any other outlet for sex. Then I wondered if her father had gotten her pregnant.

Barbara was fourteen going on fifteen and looked a lot like her mother with nice hair, a pretty face, and small breasts.

Anyway that Saturday I made sure that the hard cover was locked over my Jacuzzi to keep the girls out. I made sure that my camera was ready to capture them that night and then I went to bed. It had been a long day and I was looking forward to Sunday with Barbara’s mother.

In the morning I got dressed, ate breakfast, and then I got my camera from the porch. I had made that camera hole in the post because of the natural knothole in the wood. I had hallowed out the backside and then fabricated a cover to protect it from the weather and from being seen. Obviously it worked perfectly. My original plan was to invite women over and record them in their bikinis but what I had captured already was far more than I had ever imagined. I was looking forward to recording Barbara’s mother naked.

As I watched the video from the night before I was treated to five naked teenage girls. They were all about Barbara’s age and I recognized them all from around the neighborhood. There was about five minutes of nude dancing in a group then four sat down and left the one standing to shake her stuff for me. That took about another minute each. Apparently the girls were daring each other to do more and more things. So I watched as they kissed, as they sucked each other’s nipples, and as they fingered each other’s pussies as well. In the end no one peed or shit on my porch, which I was thankful for. When I looked at the time that had recorded I had a good twenty-three minutes of those five naked girls on my porch. Then I remembered what Barbara had said about my yard being the most secure one in the neighborhood and the only one that she felt comfortable being naked in. That had been my intention right from the very beginning.

I had dinner ready to start when they arrived. I showed them where they could change and put our food in the oven. I joined them with a bottle of chilled Champaign and three glasses.

On the porch I announced, “We are using you father’s rules, nudity in the water.”

Barbara smiled at me and then pulled the strings on her mother’s bikini dropping her top to the floor and pulling her bottom from between her legs. Her mother had been caught completely off guard and stunned.

I thought she was going to bitch me out but instead she said, “I was hoping to show off for a while in my new suite otherwise I would have worn some sexy underwear to remove in front of you.”

I replied, “Next time.”

Barbara was out of her bikini and in the water calling for us to join her. I poured two and a quarter glasses of Champaign and handed them out.

Barbara raised her glass and said, “Here is to his new Jacuzzi, seeing us naked, and to Mom fixing his problem later like she does for grandpa.”

Her mother smiled at me and asked, “Does that need an explanation?”

Barbara replied, “No I told him everything. I had too, he caught me shitting on his porch.”

Her mother looked at me and said, “Now that requires an explanation.”

I simply replied, “It’s all be taken care of. She got caught and she redeemed herself.”

Her mother asked, “Was I part of that redemption?”

I smiled and said, “No you are just going to be the appetizer and the desert to a very nice dinner tonight.”

She said thank you and then we drank the whole bottle of Champaign giving Barbara a little more too. Dinner was just as good as I had planned and we ate most of it. I was pleased that both girls were good eaters.

After we were finished she said, “Barbara you clean up, stack the dishes, and see what you can do about the leftovers. I’m going to give him his desert and I hope he is hungry.”

Barbara said, “You go girl.”

Up in my bedroom she asked, “So how long has it been since you had sex with a woman?”

I replied, “I was asking myself that very question last night, six years and eleven months to the best of my knowledge.”

She said, “Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you much.”

That was the last words we spoke that night. Making love to her was wonderful and probably the most exciting thing that I had done in twenty years or more. She was gentle, she was very loving and she drained my pecker twice that night. I must have fallen asleep because I didn’t wake up until noon on Monday. I shaved, dressed, and went down to fix myself some lunch.

Barbara and her mother were sitting their silently waiting for me to come down. They had both called in sick to spend the day with me, they were both naked too.

Barbara said, “Let’s get in the Jacuzzi. Mom will bring our lunch to us. I want to hear all about your desert last night.”

I smiled at Barbara’s mother as Barbara dragged me out of the kitchen.

The End
Shit On My Porch
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