Greetings, readers! This story is a bit of fan-fiction set in the Batman universe, though not focusing on the Dark Knight. This story did well last year in a contest on another website, so I hope y’all like it, too. As always, your feedback is appreciated. Thanks for reading!

The Cat and… The Bat?

“All right, we got what we need?”

“I think so. Mr. Cobblepot should be happy with this.”

“Cool. C’mon, up to the roof.”

The two thugs climbed up the fire escape, feeling the autumn chill on the backs of their necks. Of course, that wasn’t the reason their hairs stood on end; the constant threat of the Batman was more than enough to do that. Still, they knew better than to chicken out of a job. Batman was tough, but he was nothing compared to what their boss would do if they failed.

“Ok, almost at the top.”

“Are we clear?”

“I think so… shit! It’s the fucking BAT!”

On the other side of the roof stood the unmistakable outline of the most feared vigilante in Gotham City. But just as the thugs expected him to leap over and pummel them, he instead turned and ran for the stairwell door. Even more confusing, he seemed to be struggling and cursing at finding the door locked.

“Hey, I don’t think he’s the Bat,” one of the thugs whispered.

“You’re insane!”

“No, think about it! He didn’t attack us or try to use his fancy belt. Hell, he’s strugglin’ with a damn door!”

“Oh, this is gonna be fun,” he grinned, drawing a switchblade.

The pair approached the costumed figure, who turned sharply to face them.

“So, you ain’t the Bat after all?”

With his hands up, the figure spoke, clearly sounding like a scared young guy. “Listen, I was just up here getting some air. You don’t know me, and I didn’t see you. Let’s just go our separate ways, yeah?”

“Oh, you’re gonna go separate ways all right. I’m thinkin’ your arms can go over there, and your legs over there… maybe even your head up there.”

Seeing the thugs approach, “Batman” realized that fighting was now his only chance at survival. He was no expert, but he had been taking Krav Maga lessons since the spring, and his body was strong enough that a few well-timed strikes would likely take the thugs by surprise. When faced with two opponents, one armed with a knife and one not, most people would attack the knife-wielding enemy first, thinking them the greater threat, but “Batman” knew better. That was a surefire way to end up with a knife in the chest; the unarmed opponent would be able to hold the victim in place for an easy kill. Instead, a prudent fighter should first stun the armed opponent before focusing on the unarmed attacker and using this opponent as a buffer against the armed attacker.

Before the thugs knew what happened, he swung a right hook into the temple of the thug with the knife before turning to the stocky, unarmed thug. Stunned by his sudden aggression, Stocky had no idea what was happening until it was too late. He unleashed a flurry of jabs into the goon’s abdomen, forcing him back. As he staggered, “Batman” grabbed Stocky’s arm with his left hand and forced his right across the man’s neck, gripping a pressure point near his shoulder. Applying some pressure with his forearm on the thug’s neck, he turned the man just as Knifey was recovering. The thug thrust the knife forward, but “Batman” had already placed Stocky between them as a human shield.

“GAAAAAAH!”

Stocky cried out in pain as his partner’s weapon penetrated his back. The first thug pulled the knife out in a hurry and moved to attack once more. Unable to hold the man and defend himself, “Batman” pushed Stocky to the side. Turning to face Knifey, he assumed a classic fighter’s crouch, keeping his hands open in anticipation of an incoming attack. The thug lunged once again, but he lacked any sort of finesse, and his target sidestepped with relative ease. Sensing an opportunity, he reached out for the man’s knife hand in an attempt to lock his elbow and relieve him of his blade. Just as he thought he had the upper hand, the thug pulled back, causing “Batman” to lose his balance as he grasped for the arm that was no longer there. Stumbling for a moment, he had no choice but to go to the ground on purpose and try to roll away from his assailant. To his dismay, Knifey kept up and pinned him under his boot before “Batman” could retaliate.

“Say goodnight, Bat-freak.”

*****

Four hours earlier

Jake fidgeted with his Halloween costume as he entered the apartment building. He was in fairly good shape and stood about six-foot-three, allowing him to pull off the Batman look with relative ease. Once the cowl was on, he’d be even more convincing; his red hair didn’t exactly scream, “I am the night.” Though the costume itself was the standard party store variety, Jake had added his own version of the famed utility belt. In reality, it was just a black tool belt that he had filled with candy bars, but it went with the costume quite well. Arriving at his date’s apartment, Jake took a deep breath and knocked at the door.

“Yeah, whaddaya want?!”

The door swung open, revealing a large, surly man with greasy hair and a distinct scent of cigarettes and whiskey. Jake was tall, but this man had at least four inches and fifty pounds over him.

“Mr. Bullock?” Jake asked.

“Yeah… huh, thought the Commish woulda told me you were makin’ a house call, Bats,” he replied.

“Oh, no I’m-”

“Relax! I know who you are. You’re that Thompkins kid takin’ my girl to the Halloween party tonight, right?”

“Um, y-yes sir.”

“Well, quit gawkin’ and come on in!” Ushering Jake into the living room, Harvey Bullock continued, “Have a seat. Hailey’ll be down in a few, so, ah… why don’t we have a little chat while we wait? Man-to-man?”

“Of course, sir.”

“That’s Detective to you,” Bullock chuckled.

“Yes, Detective.”

“Thompkins, eh? You any relation to that doctor lady? Leslie, is it?”

“Yes, she’s my Nana,” Jake replied.

“Sweet broad, that one is,” Bullock said with a grin.

“Yeah, she’s kind of the best. But, um, don’t tell her I said that.”

“HAH! My lips are sealed, kid. So, you a student at Gotham U like Hailey?”

“I am.”

“What’s your major?”

“Um… undecided for the moment.”

“Undecided? The hell’s that supposed to mean?”

Jake explained, “I started with chemical engineering, same as my father, but… I think I want to go a different way, get out from under his shadow. Now, I just have to figure out what that means.”

“Hmm… sounds like you need to get your head on straight, kid. Listen, you seem like a good guy, but just bein’ a good guy ain’t good enough for my little girl, understand? You wanna have a shot with her past tonight, then you gotta grow a pair and figure out what kind of man you wanna be, capisce?”

“Yes, Detective. I understand,” Jake replied meekly.

“So, gonna take my Hailey to the party? Show her a good time?”

“That’s the plan.”

“Just not too good a time, eh?” Bullock chuckled, pointing his fingers like a gun at Jake.

“Of course,” Jake replied, managing a laugh.

“Good. ‘Cause make no mistake: you take any liberties with my little girl, and I’ll personally cut your balls off and feed ‘em to Killer Croc.”

Jake gulped at this. “Understood.”

“I’m readyyyyyyy!” came a sweet voice from the other room.

Jake and Bullock stood as Hailey entered the living room dressed in a toga. Her body was wrapped in a white bed sheet that was clipped at her shoulders, and her long black hair was pinned up in a playful ponytail. She then gave a little spin to show the ornate barrette in her hair. Jake was speechless, not to mention hard as a rock.

“Very nice, Baby Doll,” Bullock said, saving Jake from his speechlessness.

“Thank you, Daddy,” Hailey replied, kissing him on the cheek. “Hi, Jake.”

“Hey, Hailey… wow. You, um… you look great.”

“Thanks, I worked hard at my costume,” she replied. “Ready to go?”

“Sure.”

“No drinking, got it?!” Bullock said forcefully.

“Absolutely,” Jake replied.

“All right, you kids get outta here. Go on, vamoose!”

As Jake turned to close the door behind them, Bullock caught his eye once more, snipping his fingers like a pair of scissors around his groin area. Jake gulped once more, nodding in confirmation. Once the door had closed, Hailey made for the wicker loveseat in the hallway next to her dad’s apartment and flipped the seat cushion up.

“Finally!” she sighed.

“What’s up?” Jake asked.

“You’ll see,” she said shortly.

Hailey swiftly undid the clips of her toga, letting the bed sheet fall to the floor and revealing her real costume underneath. She was now clad in an outfit that could only be described as “Slutty Wonder Woman.” It was the right colors and bore Wonder Woman’s emblem, sure, but its functionality was highly debatable. The entire outfit was little more than lingerie, being a tight red and gold corset with American flag panties. She wore a pair of red stiletto heels on her feet, and reached into her purse, trading her ponytail for Wonder Woman’s trademark headband.

“Whatcha think?” Hailey asked.

“Um… holy shit,” Jake stammered.

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” she replied, hiding the remnants of her toga underneath the loveseat’s cushion. “Come on, these two superheroes need to get super wasted!”

Remembering her dad’s warning, Jake was about to protest the part about alcohol, but the sensation of Hailey’s lips pressing against his silenced him at once. It wasn’t a kiss of passion or emotion, but he enjoyed it nonetheless.

“Ready?” she asked.

Still flushed, Jake could only sigh, “Yeah…”

*****

Hours later, the party raged on at the Gotham University student union building. The third-floor common room was abuzz with college students in a variety of costumes, though superheroes were the most popular choice. Jake was pleased to see that, of the Batman costumes present, his was indisputably the best. Not that it was helping his popularity much. His “date” had hardly paid attention to him since arriving, floating around from guy to guy and never once turning down an opportunity to get ogled. Even though the party was university-sponsored, and thus free of alcohol, plenty of students had managed to sneak in their own party favors to liven things up. Jake was convinced Hailey had managed to consume more than half the alcohol present through flirting and teasing alone.

“Dude! Great costume!”

Jake turned to find his roommate walking up in a pirate outfit, complete with a stuffed parrot on his shoulder.

“What can I say? I am the night!” Jake replied, imitating Batman’s gravelly voice.

“Nice! Doesn’t hurt that you’ve got the hottest girl here.”

“That’s debatable,” Jake snorted. “She hasn’t even noticed me since we arrived.”

“Well, look! She’s alone on the dance floor right now. Make your move!”

“Huh… just like that?”

“Just like that!”

Figuring he had nothing to lose, Jake made his way through the mob of people towards Hailey. She was definitely one of his greatest fantasies, with her long black hair and nubile body. Her Wonder Woman outfit only served to tease him even further, hinting at the incredible treasures hidden within. She didn’t seem to notice as he approached, but as he started dancing next to her, Hailey’s face turned to an expression of annoyance.

“Oh god, it’s Bat-breath…”

“What?” Jake asked, unsure if he had heard her right.

“Listen, I only went out with you to get my dad off my case,” she continued, her words slurring. She was clearly beyond wasted. “He hates all the guys I wanna date, so I had to go with a ‘nice guy’ to make him happy. Sorry, but you’re a Bat-loser. So just go Bat-scram and find someone your own Bat-speed to go and Bat-fuck. Peace out, Bat-dickhead!”

With that, Hailey grabbed a drink from a nearby table and tossed it in Jake’s face, causing him to curse and recoil. As he looked up, Hailey had completely lost her balance and was now a drunken, giggling mess on the floor. By this time, Joseph Stromwell, the Dean of Student Affairs, had arrived, knowing alcohol had to be involved in the incident.

“Is this girl your date?” Stromwell asked Jake.

“Nope. Not any more,” Jake spat.

“All right, on your feet, young lady,” Stromwell continued, helping Hailey up.

“Lemmie go, you perv!” she tried to protest.

“Come on, you’ve had enough fun for tonight. Let’s get you sobered up.”

“Uh, Dean Stromwell. Just so you know, she’s-”

“Yes, Mr. Thompkins, I’m aware that this young lady is Detective Bullock’s daughter,” Stromwell replied. “Rest assured, I’ll make sure she gets home safe.”

“Ok, thanks.”

With that craziness done, Jake slipped off into a hallway with a few napkins, drying his costume as much as he could. Thankfully, the cup had been mostly empty, not that Hailey had been sober enough to know that. Sighing in frustration at thinking she had actually been into him, Jake strolled off towards a nearby stairway.

“I need some air,” Jake muttered.

The unofficial rule around the university was that the roof of the student union building was available for students as a “cool off” area. Jake had come here himself a month ago after he thought he had failed an exam. He hadn’t, but the solitude had helped calm him down until he eventually learnt that he had in fact passed. As he arrived at the door to the flat rooftop, Jake found a small rock and placed it in the doorframe to make sure he didn’t accidentally lock himself out. Unknown to him, the door slipped closed almost as soon as he stepped away from it.

Looking out into the night, Jake felt his anger beginning to subside. The gorgeous skyline of Gotham was always a sight to see. Although the student union building was not particularly tall, being only four stories, it was situated at a perfect point in the city. From here, such sights as the Cyrus Pinkney Museum of Natural History and the iconic sign atop the Ace Chemical Plant could be seen with ease. He smiled as he looked up into the sky, noticing the full moon.

“Wonder if I can just blame tonight on you, my friend,” Jake laughed at the moon. “Full moon on Halloween? That can’t be good news, right? Guess it’s a good thing I’m not superstitious.”

Just then, Jake heard a disturbance of some sort from the other side of the rooftop. As he moved around the stairwell entrance, he saw a pair of men climbing onto the roof from what he assumed was the fire escape. Moving a bit closer to them, he could see they were dressed all in black with crowbars in hand; it was safe to assume they were up to no good. Jake’s pulse raced, and he thought for a fleeting moment he could just quietly exit the roof before they noticed him.

“Huh? Oh, shit! It’s the fuckin’ BAT!” one of the thugs shouted.

*****

As Jake struggled with the thug’s wrist, the knife drew closer to his throat. Jake knew this was it; there was no way out. The best he could do was delay the inevitable. As he prepared to summon up the rest of his strength in a last-ditch effort to survive, the thug’s head suddenly flew back at the sound of a whip crack.

“AH! What the fuck?!”

Blinking twice, Jake now saw the thug struggling with a mysterious figure in the shadows. A bullwhip had been latched around his neck, yanking him every which way but loose and forcing him to drop the switchblade. Soon, he was dragged into the shadows, whereupon the mysterious figure began to unleash a furious assault on him. Try as he might, the thug was completely outmatched in skill, and after several missed haymakers, he took a series of jabs to the stomach, followed by a devastating strike to the face. As he fell unconscious into the light, Jake saw what appeared to be scratch marks all over his face. A moment later, Jake’s savior stepped forward.

“You’re a decent brawler, kid, but you’re no Dark Knight,” came a sultry voice.

Jake’s mouth dropped open at the sight before him. At first, he only saw a pair of black medium-heeled boots, connected to a long pair of legs covered by a skintight jumpsuit. His eyes traveled upwards, tracing the magnificent curves encased within the black jumpsuit until he had to pause at the pair of incredible breasts protruding from within. Above them, the jumpsuit ended in a turtleneck, and he at last saw the soft, feminine face of his savior. From within a helmet with cat-like ears on top, the wry smile and fierce look in her eyes indicated that this was not a woman to be trifled with. Jake’s mouth went dry as he at last realized who he was staring at.

“No way… Selina Kyle? Catwoman?!”

“Impressive. You know my real name,” she smirked.

“Yeah. I… followed every second of your trial a few years back.”

“Of course, back in my ne’er-do-well days.”

“So, uh… how long were you watching me?”

Selina giggled. “Long enough. You were doing well until you tripped.”

“Yeah, I enjoy Krav Maga, but I don’t pretend to be an expert,” Jake admitted sheepishly.

“You probably wouldn’t have had to use it if you hadn’t been a royal dumbass, though,” Selina teased him, helping Jake to his feet. “I mean really? Letting those two goons think you’re not Batman? Lame.”

“Guess that was pretty stupid…”

“OI! WHAT THE FUCK’S TAKIN’ YOU MORONS SO LONG?!”

The pair turned at hearing the rough, Cockney voice. Jake’s heart sunk as he saw none other than the Penguin climbing onto the rooftop by way of the fire escape. A group of five goons followed closely behind him, spreading out over the roof to cover the area. While Jake was sweating in his costume, Selina seemed as confident as ever.

“Well, look who it is. Oswald Cobblepot, how the hell are you?” Selina purred.

“Hah, check this out, boys. We got ourselves a little pest problem: The Bat and the Cat.”

“I’m not-” Jake started before biting his tongue.

Selina grinned and nodded at his restraint. “So, what brings you to school, Ozzie?” she asked.

“Personal matter. Not your concern. Get the hell outta here, and I’ll let ya live,” Cobblepot spat.

“Tough talk for someone who didn’t even bother to bring guns,” Selina scoffed.

“Didn’t think we’d need ‘em,” Cobblepot growled. “Heard the Bat was supposed to be out of town.”

“The word on the street is becoming so unreliable nowadays,” Selina replied.

“Get gone, ya fuckers! Last chance!”

As much as Jake wanted to cut and run, he knew Penguin couldn’t be trusted to keep his word; he’d turn on them at the first opportunity. Collecting his courage, he answered before Selina even had a chance.

“Go to hell, Cobblepot,” he snarled.

With a flirty laugh, Selina said, “You heard the man, Ozzie!”

Cobblepot snorted. “Fine. Trash ‘em, boys! I’ll get the goods.”

As Selina drew her whip and assumed a fighting stance, she whispered, “Watch my back; I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Gotcha,” Jake replied, placing her directly behind him.

In a flash, Selina lashed out with her whip, striking at the three closest goons and leaving red gashes on their faces and hands. Meanwhile, the last two thugs advanced on Jake, but he had already planned out his attack. Engaging the nearest one, he placed his hands on the man’s shoulders and promptly kneed him in the groin. Grabbing the man’s collar, Jake tossed him into the other thug, landing them both on the rooftop. Once they were down, Selina quickly turned and threw a handful of caltrops onto the surrounding rooftop to slow them down. Focusing once more on the three in front of her, she cartwheeled forward and began to attack two goons at once with a dizzying series of martial arts strikes. The third attempted to jump in and help, but Jake managed to grab him in a chokehold from behind. A moment later, Selina had knocked out one of her thugs and thrown the other across the roof, which freed her up to help Jake body slam his thug to the rooftop unconscious.

“Nice job, kid,” she remarked.

“Behind you!” Jake shouted.

Selina turned to see the thug she had just thrown charging her position. Rather than worry, she calmly reached for her belt and pulled out a set of bolas, tossing them with precision around the man’s ankles. He went down hard, whacking his head on a pipe as he landed on the rooftop. By now, the last two thugs had recovered and made it around Selina’s caltrops. Rather than engage alongside Jake, Selina leaped over their heads, kicking them each in the back to stun them before running after Penguin.

Repeating his tactic from earlier, Jake knocked the first thug back with a strike to the jaw before grappling with the other. As neither had a knife, this fight was less dangerous than the first two goons he had encountered, but more drawn out. Putting constant pressure on the man’s shoulder, Jake beat on him as hard as he could, attempting to strike him in the kidneys, balls, or any other weak points he was able to reach. Whenever the other thug got close, Jake would lash out with a kick or punch to keep him at bay. By now, Jake could feel his body tiring, as he was relying on nothing but adrenaline to keep him going. Thinking fast, he swung the thug he had his mitts on to the rooftop, landing him directly on Selina’s caltrops.

“Ah, shit!!!” the goon cried out in pain, feeling the tiny spikes lodged in his body.

As the other goon charged, Jake swiftly grabbed the man’s collar and flung him on top of his partner, taking the first thug out of the fight from the additional pain of the caltrops. Before the second thug could recover, Jake was on top of him, kicking him as hard as he was able. Jake hit him from every angle he could, ignoring the man’s pleas for mercy, until he at last landed several kicks to the man’s head. A moment later, the goon stopped moving altogether, knocked completely unconscious from Jake’s offensive.

On the other side of the roof, Penguin had just finished rummaging through the bag of one of the two original thugs. As he turned to make off with a camera, Selina arrived and stunned him with a whip to his face. The impact disoriented Penguin for a moment, but he soon recovered and pulled a knife from the handle of his trademark umbrella. Growling in anger, he swung the blade in a wide arc, nearly catching Selina in the stomach.

“Piss off, kitty cat!”

Selina rolled out of harm’s way in the nick of time, but dropped her whip in the process. As she stood, Penguin moved between her and her weapon, cutting Selina off from her primary advantage over him. Flicking her wrists, she activated the razor-sharp claws of her cat suit and lunged for the disgusting midget. Penguin was by no means a trained fighter, but possessed surprising strength behind his form. It took all Selina had to pin his arm and keep him from running her through with the knife.

“Lemme go! This ain’t got nothin’ to do with you!” he squawked.

“What the hell are you doing here, Cobblepot?” Selina demanded. “What’s so important about Gotham University?”

“Told ya, it’s personal, bitch.”

“Really? Well, color me intrigued,” she replied, twisting his arm a bit more.

“AH! AHHHH! STOP!”

“Now, talk!”

“It’s that son-of-a-bitch Stromwell!” Penguin wailed in pain.

“Joseph Stromwell?!” Jake shouted, arriving on the scene. “What’ve you got against him?”

“That bastard renamed the Cobblepot Family Scholarship. No one insults my family name and gets off clean! So, I sent my boys out to get some dirt on old Stromwell, see if we can’t convince him to change his mind.”

“Joseph Stromwell is a good man,” Jake growled. “Everyone knows he’s the son of Arthur Stromwell, one of the most notorious gangsters Gotham’s ever seen. But even with that family history, Joseph still chose to make his own way in the world. He wants nothing to do with any criminal, and that includes you!”

“Whatever. I’ve got what I need,” Penguin whispered.

Reaching behind his back with his free hand, Penguin slipped a small emergency knife from the clip of his suspenders. Selina was at such an angle that, by the time she saw it, the blade would already be lodged in her throat. But Jake caught a glimpse of it in the nick of time and charged forward without a second thought.

“Selina! Look out!”

Before Penguin knew what was happening, Jake tackled him to the ground, knocking his knife across the rooftop, and began whaling on him. As he beat the crime boss to a bloody pulp, Selina gasped at realizing that she would have met her end were it not for Jake. At last, she placed a gentle hand on Jake’s shoulder.

“You can stop. He’s had enough.”

“Gah… please… no more…” Penguin pleaded. Looking up at the form standing over him, he asked, “What the fuck are you?”

Jake smiled and recited the two words he’d wanted to say all night.

“I’m Batman!”

The trio stood in silence for several seconds before Selina bent over laughing.

“No, you’re not!” she giggled.

Jake sighed. “Fine, I’m a college student in a Halloween costume. Happy now?”

“Wha? But… how?” Penguin heaved.

“Ozzie, do I have to spell it out for you?” Selina asked. “You just got your ass kicked by a college kid! You’re pathetic!”

“Imma kill you…”

“Not so fast,” Selina replied, kicking him in the face. “Can’t have you getting away before the GCPD gets here.”

Picking her bolas up off the ground, Selina dragged Penguin over to the stairwell entrance and tied his hands to a pipe on the wall. She smirked with pride at seeing the cocky bastard reduced to a sniveling coward.

“Night-night, Ozzie.”

With that, Selina slammed Penguin’s face into the wall, knocking him out cold.

“That’ll do until the police arrive,” Selina remarked.

“Do I need to call 911 or anything?” Jake asked.

“No need. I sent out a signal when I first saw you having it out with those goons. They’ll be here before too long. Now then, let’s see if we can figure out what the midget was up to before they get here…”

“Here’s the camera Penguin was trying to escape with,” Jake replied. Scanning through the most recent photos, he said, “Huh. Look at this.”

Peering over his shoulder, Selina could see a picture that was clearly taken from the window. Joseph Stromwell appeared to be walking down a hallway with a young woman in a Wonder Woman costume in tow. Though subjective, it was also rather obvious that the woman was intoxicated in some way.

“Hmm… think they caught Stromwell taking advantage of a young college student impaired by alcohol?” Selina wondered.

“Not likely,” Jake snorted. “This girl in the picture is the reason I’m up here. She was my date tonight, but got completely wasted and started screaming at me in front of everyone. After she threw a drink on me, Dean Stromwell stepped in to remove her from the situation.”

“Fair enough, but that by itself doesn’t absolve him. He could still be taking advantage of her,” Selina countered.

“Maybe, except for the hallway they’re in. See that bulletin board on the wall behind them? That hallway leads to only one place: the break room. The student union’s break room has free coffee available to anyone, twenty-four seven. He was taking her there to get her sobered up.”

“Hmm… are there windows in the break room?” Selina asked.

“Yep. In fact, it should be right below us.”

Grabbing her whip, she grinned and said, “Be right back.”

After securing her whip to a pipe, Selina rappelled down the edge enough to get a peek into the break room. She soon returned to the roof.

“Wonder Woman’s being force-fed coffee by Stromwell and another teacher, a tall black lady. Know her?”

“Yep, that’s Mrs. Jackson. She’s the Associate Dean,” Jake grinned.

“Gotta hand it to you, you were right. Cobblepot was going to alter a photo to try and blackmail Stromwell into changing the scholarship back,” Selina admitted. Hearing a helicopter approaching, she said, “That’ll be the GCPD. Delete those photos and leave the camera here; the cops will take care of Cobblepot.”

“You sure?”

“Yep. If nothing else, they’ve got him on criminal trespassing with a deadly weapon,” Selina replied while pointing to the knives scattered about the roof. “With Cobblepot’s record, that’ll get ‘em a warrant for his home and business.”

“Wow, you’ve really thought this through.”

“When you work with the Dark Knight Detective on a regular basis, he tends to rub off on you,” said Selina. “Come on, this way.”

“Wait, what?”

“You’re dressed as Batman and you just beat up a crime boss and his gang of thugs. Do you really want to stay up all night filling out a police report for that?”

“Oh… good point.”

Selina giggled. “Of course, it’s a good point, you goof. Now, come on!”

*****

Detective Bullock gripped the strap next to his seat tightly. He really hated these helicopter rides, but they were the best way to get to the scene when they received a call from Batman or one of his colleagues. Turning to his partner, he saw Detective Renee Montoya tracing the distress signal on her smartphone.

“You sure it’s from them?” Bullock asked over the sound of the chopper.

“Positive. It’s definitely from the Batman Family,” Montoya replied. “There! Down there, on that rooftop.”

“Huh? But that’s the Gotham University student union building!” Bullock realized.

As the helicopter landed on the roof, Bullock’s eyes went wide, seeing at least a half-dozen goons lying either dead or unconscious. Stepping out with Montoya, they began to inspect the area.

“Got one perp dead over here. Stab wound in his back,” Montoya said.

“Yeah, got several knives around here. One with blood, probably the cause of death for your body over there.”

“Hmm… found a camera. Looks empty, though. I’ll send it to the lab for processing.”

“Damn, whiplash and scratches all over these guys,” Bullock observed as the uniform officers cuffed everyone. “Looks like Catwoman had her way with them. What I would give for her to have her way with me,” he chuckled.

“Bullock!” Montoya whined.

“C’mon, admit it. You’d take a swing at her too, Montoya!” Bullock laughed.

Montoya blushed, remembering that Bullock was one of the few who knew of her sexual orientation. “Shut up,” she huffed with a smirk.

“Well, lookie who we got here! It’s our old friend Cobblepot!”

“Penguin? What’s he doing slumming it up here?” Montoya wondered.

“Dunno, but it’s a bit too close for comfort with my daughter downstairs,” Bullock replied. Grabbing his radio, he said, “Officer Jenkins, this is Detective Bullock. We got the roof secure. How’s things inside the building?”

“All’s quiet inside. Nobody knew anything was going on out there.”

“Roger that. Keep me posted.”

“Will do. Oh, Dean Stromwell wanted to make sure he caught you before you leave. Seems your daughter had a bit too much to drink and assaulted her date.”

“Great… any sign of her date?”

“None. Witnesses say he took off alone after she tossed a drink on him.”

“I’m gonna kill that girl…”

*****

A few buildings away, Selina and Jake slumped down against an air conditioning unit, panting and laughing as they came down from their emotional high.

“Shit… what a night,” Jake sighed.

“Yeah, you were pretty good back there. What’s your name, kid?”

“Uh, Jake. Jake Thompkins.”

“A pleasure, Jake. Selina Kyle, officially,” she replied shaking his hand. “But then, you knew that, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I’m kind of obsessed with the Batman Family, or the Bat-Team as I call them,” Jake admitted. “What are the rest of them up to? That is, if you can tell me.”

“Well, Penguin wasn’t wrong when he heard the Dark Knight was out of town. The Brooding One and his sidekick got called away to Metropolis for a few days, and Batgirl was needed over in Blüdhaven.”

“Oh yeah, I heard there were threats of rioting out there. Guess Nightwing needed some backup,” Jake said.

“Which leaves little-old-me to protect Gotham,” Selina said with a dramatic pose.

“Doin’ a damn fine job, if I may say so.”

“Thanks, but I wouldn’t have made it without you, kid.”

“What do you mean?” Jake asked.

“Penguin had me, pulling that knife from behind his back. He’d have killed me if you hadn’t seen it.”

“Ah, you had him beat. You’d have been all right,” Jake replied, trying to downplay it.

“Regardless, you saved my ass tonight. I appreciate it. And it’s kind of nice not to be saved by the real Batman for a change,” Selina said.

“Really? I thought you and he had kind of a… special relationship.”

“We did… once upon a time. There’s always been a mutual attraction, but we’ve both come to realize it’s not meant to be for us. Trust me, Tall Dark and Brooding isn’t the most open individual out there. Balancing that with the dangers of the job and the constant adrenaline rush is a difficult task, even when you do genuinely care about each other.”

“I guess that makes sense. I’m still running on adrenaline myself,” Jake said. “Pretty hungry, too. Hang on a sec.”

Reaching into his utility belt, Jake pulled out a Milky Way bar to satisfy his growling stomach.

“Ooh, please tell me you have a Snickers in there,” Selina pleaded, licking her lips.

“Ask and you shall receive,” Jake laughed, handing her one. “I may not have the latest in utility belt weaponry, but I’m prepared for an attack of the munchies like you wouldn’t believe!”

“My hero,” Selina giggled, digging into the Snickers. “Thompkins, eh? You wouldn’t happen to be related to Dr. Leslie Thompkins, would you?”

“She’s my grandmother,” Jake nodded.

“Sweet lady. You probably don’t know this, but she’s saved the Batman Family more times than I can count.”

Jake blinked at this. “What do you mean? She’s totally against what you do. Says you’re all a bunch of dangerous vigilantes.”

“Yeah, she does maintain a consistent public position, doesn’t she? But in private, she’s been our go-to doctor for years, back even before the original Robin was on the scene.”

“My Nana… helps a bunch of vigilante crime fighters?!”

“Yep. Just don’t confront her with it, yeah? I’m sure she’s only trying to protect her grandson with her public opposition to our activities,” Selina said.

“Huh… and all this time, I thought she was just a boring, stuffy old doctor. Guess everyone’s got their secrets.”

“And speaking of secrets, I’d recommend you not tell any of your friends what you did tonight.”

“How come? I just kicked Penguin’s ass, and now I’m hanging out with the beautiful and badass Catwoman! I wanna scream that from the rooftops!” Jake laughed.

“For one, nobody would believe you,” Selina giggled. “But more importantly, Penguin doesn’t know it was you that kicked his ass. All he knows is it was some college kid dressed as Batman for Halloween. How many of those are there?”

“Too many to count.”

“Exactly! Believe me, the last thing you want is for a crime boss like Penguin to come after you looking for revenge.”

“I guess that’s good advice. Thanks.”

“No problem.” With a sly look, Selina asked, “So… you think I’m beautiful, eh?”

Jake chuckled. “It’s more of a factual statement than an opinion, but yeah.”

“But you haven’t seen me without my helmet on, right? How do you know I’m not really a hideous monster with snakes for hair?” she grinned.

“First, because you’re called Catwoman, not Medusa. Second, you forget that your picture was all over the news during your trial. Still, I guess there’s one way to know for sure.”

“Show me yours, and I’ll show you mine?”

“Fair enough,” Jake nodded.

Lowering the cowl of his costume, Jake pulled his mask off and revealed his face to Selina. She said nothing at first, but soon smiled and ran her fingers through his short hair.

“A redhead, eh? Kitty like.”

“Thanks,” Jake blushed.

“My turn.”

Selina unhooked the chinstrap of her helmet, slipping it off and revealing her golden locks, pinned up neatly in a bun. She grinned seeing Jake openmouthed and speechless.

“Well?”

“Um… wow,” was all Jake could say.

“I take it you still think I’m beautiful?”

“Yeah… definitely.”

Selina giggled. “Thanks. You’re a sweet guy, and it’s nice to be called ‘beautiful’ for once.”

“What do you mean? Anyone who can’t see that is just fucking blind!”

“Yeah, but most any guy that sees me just thinks of me as a hot piece of ass they wanna bang. The few that have tried… well, let’s just say it didn’t end well for those poor souls.”

“I can imagine,” Jake shuddered.

“And it’s a totally different kind of relationship with the guys in the Batman Family; we have to keep things professional, since we rely on each other for survival. So, when I hear a sweet guy like you talk about me like that, looking at me like I’m the girl-next-door, it’s a refreshing change of pace.”

“Just c-calling it like I see it,” he stammered.

After a pause, she asked, “So, you got any plans for the rest of the night?”

“Well, seeing as my date already dumped me and the police have shut down the Gotham University party for their investigation, I’ll probably head home and turn in,” Jake replied.

“Aw, I’m sorry. Hardly the Halloween blowout you had imagined, I bet.”

“Eh, it happens.”

Biting her lower lip, Selina mentioned, “You know… my apartment is just down the street from here, and my patrol’s done for the night. Would you wanna relax with me for a while?”

“You… you’re inviting me to your home?” Jake asked.

“Of course! Like I said, you’re a sweet guy, and unlike most guys your age, you didn’t try to cop a feel within a few minutes of meeting me,” Selina laughed.

“Do I look like I have a death wish?!”

“See? That’s exactly why I’m inviting you over. You’re fun to be with, and I know you won’t try anything…” she paused a moment before leaning closer, “…at least not without an invitation.”

“Um…” Jake managed as his mouth dried out.

Leaning into his ear, Selina whispered, “Besides, I want to thank you properly for all your help tonight, Jake.”

Holy fuck…

*****

“Isis? Mommy’s home!” Selina called out as they entered her apartment. A moment later, a black cat leapt into her arms. “There you are, sweetie! Jake, you aren’t superstitious, are you?”

“Please,” he snorted. “If I was scared of black cats, I’d have run away screaming at the sight of you.”

“Good boy.” Carrying the cat closer to him, Selina playfully said, “Isis, this is Jake. He saved Mommy’s ass tonight! Yes, he did!”

Laughing, Jake replied, “So, clearly Isis is your baby.”

“My little girl,” Selina said, pouring a bowl of food for her. “Come on in back.”

“Ok.”

As Jake followed, Selina unpinned her long blonde hair, letting it flow down to the middle of her back. Even though she appeared a bit sweaty from her patrol, she was still the most gorgeous woman Jake had ever seen in his life. Admiring the curves of her supple form, he saw that she was just that: a woman. So many of his classmates were little more than high school girls, both physically and mentally, but Selina seemed completely different. Her thirty-year-old body was in prime condition, and her sharp wit was intoxicating to be around.

“Staring at my ass, are we?”

Jake snapped back to reality and replied, “Oh, uh… no?”

“Liar,” Selina giggled.

“Sorry, couldn’t help it,” Jake blushed.

“It’s all right, I don’t mind. I know I made it clear what I do to random men who try to take advantage of me, but once I’m comfortable around a guy, I’m really not shy about my body. I realize most men find me attractive; it’d be unfair to expect them not to catch a peek once in a while.” Looking over her shoulder, she added, “And I’m very comfortable around you, Jake.”

Before Jake could think of what to say, Selina stepped into her bedroom. At her beckoning, he followed her in, finding it lavishly decorated in Egyptian décor, with an obvious emphasis on cats. A massive king-size bed dominated the room, covered with a black comforter bearing stylized cat’s eyes.

“Egyptian? Nice. Not surprising,” Jake commented.

“Well, they revered cats as deities. What’s not to like?” Selina giggled.

A moment later, Jake saw her step up to a blank part of the wall. Removing her gloves, Selina placed her hand against a section, which lit up and scanned her palm. A moment later, a hidden closet opened up, revealing her hiding spot for her cat suit and weapons. To Jake’s utter shock, she hung her helmet on the wall and casually began to unzip her jumpsuit.

“Um… d-do you want some… p-privacy?” he stammered.

“No.”

Selina turned to face Jake. Her jumpsuit was still on her shoulders, but the zipper had been lowered down to her pelvic region. It was instantly clear that she wore neither a bra nor panties. With a sly grin, she sauntered up to Jake and wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling every muscle in his body trembling.

“What the hell is happening?” he muttered.

Selina giggled. “Well, I don’t know what planet you’re from, but where I come from, when a woman invites you to her home and starts taking her clothes off in front of you, it means she’s trying to seduce you.”

“But… why me?”

“Jake, please. You’re a sweet guy, and you saved my ass tonight! I just want to repay you properly for that,” she said, placing a hand on his cheek.

Laying his hand on hers, he replied, “You don’t owe me anything.”

“Fair enough. All the same, you get my motor running, Jake,” Selina said, licking her lips. “You treat me like you know I’ve got a brain, and you’re fucking fearless in a real fight! Believe me, right now, what I want… is you.”

Jake was helpless to protest any further. As Selina drew closer, he became lost in her mesmerizing emerald eyes. After a few glorious, tension-filled moments, she tilted his head down and placed a long, sensuous kiss on his lips. This was nothing like the kiss Hailey had given him earlier. While Hailey’s was nothing but the physical act, Selina threw everything she had into it, recognizing it as a moment of true intimacy. Even though Jake couldn’t fathom the reasons, it was clear she was telling the truth: Selina Kyle desired him.

“Mmm… you’re a great kisser, Jake,” she purred as they separated.

As he hadn’t made any moves to undress her further, Selina began to peel off her jumpsuit. Her porcelain skin glistened with sweat, which beaded up and trickled down to her incredible breasts. They were large, round, and soft, jiggling slightly with every move she made. A pair of tiny pink nipples dotted them, and it was clear they were already hard from their previous kiss. After slipping her arms free of the sleeves, Selina turned her back to Jake and glanced over her shoulder as she lowered the last of the jumpsuit down her legs. She shook her perky ass a few times for good measure, beckoning him to touch her with every move she made, but poor Jake was still too dumbfounded to do anything more than stare. After a moment, she turned to face him once more, at last presenting her nude form to him. Jake wasn’t sure what his favorite part was: her hairless pussy, jiggling breasts, or the smoldering look on her face.

“Tell me the truth… I died on that roof and went to Heaven, right?” Jake asked.

“Nope. I’m completely real, Jake,” Selina replied. “Now, I’m pretty filthy from my patrol, so I’m going to take a shower… and you’re gonna join me.”

Jake gulped in anticipation. “Only if you’re sure you want me to?”

“Positive,” she whispered into his ear, licking his earlobe for good measure.

As Jake watched Selina saunter into the bathroom, he shook himself awake for a moment and began to strip out of his costume. It took him only a few seconds to kick off his boots and slip his jumpsuit off, but it felt like an eternity to him. Soon, he was dressed only in boxers and an undershirt, and he joined Selina in the bathroom. To his pleasant surprise, the bathroom was just as spacious and luxurious as her bedroom, containing a huge walk-in shower made of black marble. Selina stood at the faucet adjusting the temperature of the water.

“You plan on getting those wet?” she asked with a smirk.

“Huh? Oh!” Jake replied, realizing he still had his underwear on.

“C’mon, don’t be shy,” Selina cooed. “I promise it’ll be worth it.”

After hesitating a moment, Jake peeled his shirt off and exposed his toned chest and abs to her. His hands trembled as he lowered his boxers to the floor, revealing his stiff cock at last. Selina’s eyes went wide at the sight of Jake’s erection; he had to be at least eight inches long with substantial girth. She was at first worried he might split her in two, but eventually decided that was exactly what she needed him to do.

“Impressive,” she murmured.

“Um… t-thanks.”

“Water’s warmed up; come on in!”

Following her into the shower, Jake was treated to the highly erotic sight of Selina Kyle under the spray of water. Her body was arched back, soaking her long hair in the stream and allowing the water to cascade down the valley between her incredible breasts. She slowly opened her eyes, smiling at the good-looking young man who had joined her. Before he knew what hit him, Jake was pulled under the water and into a passionate lip-lock with Selina. Though he was still a bit tentative, Jake soon found it impossible not to caress her wet form with his hands, squeezing her ass a bit before moving up her back.

“Ooh, very nice,” Selina said. “A nice, firm hand, but with some finesse.”

“Talk about some very nice things, these,” Jake replied, squeezing Selina’s wet breasts, “definitely qualify.”

“I knew it; had you pegged as a breast man from the beginning,” she grinned.

“Pretty much,” he admitted. “May I ask exactly how big they are?”

“36D, and all natural,” Selina replied proudly.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more perfect pair.”

Hearing this, a twinkle entered Selina’s eye as she got a perfect idea. She first turned Jake to let him stand in the stream of water before turning to the marble bench carved into the wall of the shower. Seated on the wet stone, she now had a perfect view of Jake’s engorged member and began to stroke it lightly. Jake now understood and grabbed onto a strategically placed handle on the wall to keep from falling over. With a look of hunger in her eyes, Selina hunched over a bit and began to take his length into her mouth.

“Holy shit…” Jake gasped.

Releasing him from her first suck with a pop, Selina replied, “Now, don’t go blowing your top too soon. I’ve got lots in store for you.”

“I’ll warn you… as best I can…”

“Good boy.”

With a grin, Selina resumed her gleeful sucking of Jake’s cock, focusing primarily on his sensitive head. She loved giving blowjobs, but deep throating was never something she could do well; her gag reflex was just too sensitive. Still, Jake couldn’t complain, what with the sight of her full lips around his penis and the feeling of her swirling tongue. While Selina sucked, she also used her hands to stroke the base of his cock a bit. This was mainly to keep him aimed directly at her mouth, though the additional stimulation was also quite enjoyable for him. After several minutes of this, Selina released him, a huge grin spreading across her face.

“That was… amazing…” Jake muttered.

“Oh, we’re not done yet, Jake. Ready for your reward?”

“Reward? This isn’t my reward?!” Jake laughed.

“Well, all of this is for both of us, but what I’m about to do next is a special treat just for you. Consider it my thanks for your help tonight,” Selina replied.

Without another word, Selina grabbed a nearby bar of soap, working her hands into a thick lather. After slicking up Jake’s twitching member, she took the soap in hand once more and applied a generous amount of suds to her breasts. Jake now realized what she was up to and grabbed the handle on the wall as tightly as he could.

With a mischievous grin, Selina scooted forward to the edge of her seat and wrapped her tits around his cock. She started slow, alternating her breasts back and forth to stimulate him. Jake was in blissful agony from the sensations, but he could also tell Selina was holding back a bit; she wanted him to enjoy the ride for as long as possible. After a few repetitions of this, she wrapped them as tightly around him as she could and began to furiously jack his cock off. The suds continued to build as she brought him closer and closer to orgasm, her own arousal increasing all the while.

“You like that, Jake? You like fucking my titties?” Selina purred.

“Uh huh,” Jake moaned in reply.

“Ooh, you’re close, aren’t you? I can feel this big cock throbbing and twitching,” she continued. “I bet you wanna cum on my tits, don’t you? Wouldn’t you like that, Jake?” Without waiting for a reply, she released him from her breasts and took his cock in hand, stroking him with full intent to make him do just that. “Come on, Jake. Cum for me, right here on my breasts,” she egged him on, propping them up with her left forearm.

The combination of Selina’s sensual voice, jiggling breasts, and masterful stroking was just too much for poor Jake to fight. As much as he might have wanted to last longer, he could feel his orgasm welling up within him. Keeping a tight grip on the shower handle, he forced his eyes to stay open and take in every moment of Selina’s pleasuring of his cock. She continued to stroke him, feeling every pulse of his throbbing member as hot semen began to build up. A moment later, Jake unleashed a cry of ecstasy as he spewed his load onto Selina’s chest, coating her magnificent breasts with his seed. She just smiled and giggled while savoring the effect she had on him as he lost control in the best way possible.

“Sounds like someone enjoyed that,” Selina cooed, standing and kissing him on the cheek.

“Uh huh,” Jake sighed. “But, you didn’t-”

“Don’t worry, I know you’ll take great care of me later, Jake,” she cut him off. “Oh my, seems I’ve gotten myself even dirtier than before, haven’t I? If you’ll be a dear and help me wash off… then we can continue this in bed,” she whispered, snaking her tongue into Jake’s ear a bit.

Jake shuddered at this, now knowing full well that there was more to come – a lot more. Still, as he helped Selina wash her sublime form, he was surprised at how businesslike she could be in such an erotic setting. Little did he know that this was simply a ploy on her part to get him into her bed, and into her pussy, as quickly as possible. Jake did miss out on watching as Selina washed his cum off her breasts, but seeing as he had a perfect view of her ass while washing her back at the time, he had no room to complain. After he had used the hand showerhead to wash the shampoo out of her hair, Selina decided they were clean enough and shut off the water.

“Here you go,” Selina said, tossing him a fluffy bath towel.

“Thanks.”

After they had finished drying off, Selina stepped up to the counter. “Why don’t you go relax in bed? I’ll be out in a few minutes.”

“Sounds good.”

Slipping under the covers, Jake started to tense up and worry once more. Selina had taken charge in the shower, but if her innuendo was any indication, he was likely minutes away from sliding into home, as it were. Would he be good enough for her? Jake was no virgin, but neither was he the most experienced guy around; he’d only had sex with three girls, all of them equally inexperienced. But Selina… she seemed so confident and assured. Hell, she’d had a relationship with Batman! How could Jake possibly compete with that? As his worries began to set in, a surprise visitor jumped onto the bed with him.

“Whoa!”

“Everything all right?” Selina asked from the bathroom.

“Yeah, Isis decided to come check me out,” Jake laughed, seeing the black cat now on his lap.

“Aw, don’t worry. She’s pretty friendly. Just let her do her thing, and she’ll get bored with you before too long,” Selina replied with a giggle.

Isis spent a few minutes sniffing Jake with caution. Though he worried about bites and scratches in his unclothed state, she never showed any signs of fear or aggression toward him. Soon, Selina joined them and promptly scooped Isis into her arms.

“Isis, did you come to see my new boy-toy?” she cooed.

“Boy-toy?” Jake asked.

“Well, you are a boy, and I am playing with you, right?” Selina giggled. “Ok, Isis, time for you to go to bed. Mommy’s about to get laid! Yes, she is!”

As Selina placed Isis in a plush pet bed in the corner, Jake suddenly noticed a distinct change in her.

“Your hair! How’d you get it dry already?” he asked, seeing it tied back in a ponytail.

“It’s a pretty cool story, actually,” she replied. “See, Batman originally created a powerful heating device to combat Mr. Freeze’s weapons. But then I had the idea for another potential use. After Batman spent some time tweaking it down to a lower power level, I ended up with an instant hairdryer!”

“Impressive.”

“That, by the way, is top secret. Lord knows I don’t need every girl in Gotham breaking into my place to steal it.”

“My lips are sealed,” Jake replied, zipping his lips.

“I certainly hope not,” Selina said, running her fingers through his hair. “I have big plans for those lips… and that tongue.”

Picking up on her suggestion, Jake decided to take the lead for once and grabbed Selina by her slim waist, dragging her onto the bed with him. She giggled and kicked in feigned protest for a moment, but was soon silenced by Jake’s lips pressing against hers. As he began to kiss his way down her body, Selina couldn’t believe how utterly horny she was becoming. She was a very sexual creature to begin with, but even her wildest encounters with the Dark Knight hadn’t gotten her this wet. Jake’s worshiping of her breasts, and in particular her erect nipples, was quickly driving her insane. Before she knew what was happening, Selina’s entire body began to convulse in a surprisingly strong orgasm.

“Oh, my!” she gasped.

“Something wrong?” Jake asked, pausing for a moment.

“No, it’s just… that’s never happened before,” Selina replied. “My breasts have never been that sensitive, but the way you’re playing with them… holy shit!”

“Well, if playing with your tits does that, I can’t wait to see what happens when I do… this.”

Selina bit her lip as Jake began to work lower, kissing his way across her toned belly and down to her hips. She mewed in disappointment when he didn’t go straight for her pussy, instead licking his way up the inside of each thigh. After several long seconds of teasing and tormenting her, Jake at last approached her slit, running his finger lightly along the crease.

“Oh, yes…. Oh god, Jake, it’s been so long…” Selina moaned.

As Selina spread the lips of her womanhood for him, Jake began his efforts to repay her kindness from their shower together. Thankfully, his prom date in high school had been an excellent teacher in this regard, giving Jake several helpful pointers to please a girl. Judging by Selina’s reactions, said pointers were just as effective at pleasing a woman as well. Her hips began to buck slightly, but Jake just held her down gently with his body weight and continued his oral assault. All the while, Selina was becoming a babbling pile of goo, and the bedroom was filled with the sounds of her moans and saturated with the sweet aroma of her pussy. After ten minutes and three orgasms, she could stand no more and had to push his face away from her.

“Holy fuck… you’re… incredible,” Selina panted.

“Had to even the score after that shower,” Jake chuckled.

“Fair enough,” she giggled. Reaching over to her nightstand, Selina pulled out a condom. “Ready for the main event, stud?”

Jake nodded, still dumbfounded that this was happening to him. Lying on his back as Selina instructed, he gasped as she began stroking his length once more, bringing him to full attention. She gently tore open the packet and began to roll the condom over his cock; even when completely unfurled, it barely managed to contain his appendage. Before he had a chance to take the lead again, Selina had already straddled him, trapping him between her legs.

“Nuh uh, Jake. Now, you’re all mine,” she purred.

Jake’s eyes bulged as she began to lower herself onto his throbbing penis, taking about five inches to start with. After a few seconds of gentle rocking back and forth, Selina managed to get enough of her juices spread over his length to continue her descent. She threw her head back in ecstasy as she finally felt him fill her up completely; none of her previous partners, not even Batman himself, had been this big. Yet the best part was that Jake didn’t seem to realize how massive he was, lacking the annoying machismo many guys have when they brag about their sexual prowess. He was just glad to be a part of the experience.

Placing her hands firmly on his chest, Selina began to bounce up and down his length at a feverish pace. Riding a man had always been her favorite sexual position. It wasn’t necessarily that she enjoyed the power or that the man was more passive, but it provided Selina the chance to thrill a man through her direct actions, which only served to further her own arousal. Judging by the expression on Jake’s face, she was succeeding in that goal and then some. After a few moments, she smiled as Jake reached up to fondle her bouncing tits.

“Ooh, I was hoping you’d do that,” Selina remarked.

“They’re just too tantalizing to ignore.”

“Good. Give ‘em all the attention you want, Jake.”

Though his hands were busy with Selina’s breasts, Jake’s blue eyes remained locked on her mesmerizing emerald ones. He was blown away by her sheer joy and enthusiasm. Selina Kyle was giving him the ride of his life, yet she seemed to be getting off on it even more than he was! The more he got to know her, the more he couldn’t help feeling certain things he’d never felt before. Selina was equal parts fearsome warrior, playful girl-next-door, and lustful nymph, his perfect woman if he could even dream such a thing even existed. Of course, these thoughts only served to bring him closer to the point of no return.

“Selina… you’re gonna need to slow down if you want me to last.”

“I’m close, Jake. Here, put your hands on my waist and pound it into me.”

“You sure? I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Positive. Nothing like a hard-and-fast cock to send me over the edge,” she winked.

While Selina propped herself upright and balanced on her knees, Jake did as she asked and took a firm hold on her slim waist. His upward thrusts were a bit tentative at first, but Selina’s demands for him to go harder spurred him on. Even through the condom, the sensations were mind-blowing, and Jake began to feel his balls swell up once again. A final nod and smile from Selina, and he pounded his final few thrusts into her pussy, sending them into a simultaneous orgasm lasting at least thirty seconds. Once their tremors had subsided, she laid flat on his chest, giggling from the euphoric rush and still refusing to allow his cock to exit her. Jake was just enjoying the sight of Selina’s beautiful face and the feeling of her breasts squished against his chest.

“Was… was I?”

“Fantastic? Mind-blowing? The best sex I’ve ever had? All of the above,” Selina giggled, kissing him sweetly.

“You serious?” Jake laughed.

“Of course! Jake, sex isn’t just about the physical act, at least not for women. It’s about the connection, mind and body, where two lovers heighten what would otherwise be an ordinary experience by feeding off each other. You may not realize it, but you were so in tune with my body that I literally couldn’t stop cumming! I think I came five or six times in all; I’m never that multi-orgasmic!”

“Huh… go figure.”

After a long kiss, Selina at last had to roll off of him, feeling Jake beginning to soften within her. Jake was on top of the world, but his celebration was cut short when he reached down to unsheathe his cock.

“Oh, shit.”

“What’s wrong?” Selina asked.

“The condom broke,” Jake sighed.

“Well, you were really giving it to me there at the end,” she giggled.

“But what if-”

Before Jake could fret further, Selina had already silenced him with a kiss.

“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’m not. First, I don’t think the timing’s right, but more importantly I don’t regret anything we’ve done tonight. And as long as you’re clean…”

“I am,” Jake said quickly.

“…Then we’re fine.”

Jake exhaled, trying his best to relax. “I’m glad. Sorry, I’m just worried I’ll do something fucking stupid and you’ll kick me out… or kick my ass.”

“You’d have to do something ridiculously stupid for that to happen, as many orgasms as you’ve given me tonight,” Selina shot back.

“Fair enough,” Jake said, lying back on the pillow, his hands behind his head.

Nestling into the crook of his arm, Selina asked, “So, tell me about Jake? I assume you’re a student at Gotham U. What’s your course of study?”

“You… really wanna know about me?”

“Of course, silly! It’s only polite, and I have to admit that you’re great company. Why wouldn’t I want to know more about you?”

“Well… since you asked, I’m currently a student of flexible ambition.”

“Flexible ambition? The fuck does that mean?” Selina laughed.

“Ah, it means I’m undecided on a major,” Jake explained.

“And what year are you?”

“I started summer of last year, so technically a second semester sophomore.”

“And you’re still undecided? Weak,” Selina teased him, blowing a raspberry for good measure.

“Yeah, you’re the second person to say that to me tonight,” Jake admitted. “I started out with chemical engineering, trying to follow in my dad’s footsteps, but I’m just not as smart as him. He and mom both work out in Silicon Valley. No way I can compete with that.”

“I find that hard to believe. You’re plenty smart and resourceful, if I do say so myself.”

“Thanks. To be honest… it was never about the difficulty of the classes with chemical engineering,” Jake continued. “Honestly, I just could never get excited about the material, or about the job prospects, for that matter.”

“It doesn’t engage you. That makes sense,” Selina nodded. “So, if chemical engineering doesn’t do it for you, what does?”

“You mean besides fighting the Penguin alongside Catwoman?” Jake grinned.

“Yeah, besides that. I don’t think that’s a major anyway.”

“True story. In all honesty, I’ve always been fascinated by computing, namely hacking.”

“That’s cool!” Selina replied. “What all do you hack?”

“My specialty is video games, mainly the online shooter games. The trick is to wait until the sequel comes out before delving deep into the code. That way, there’s a lesser chance of being caught, since so few players are on the older game and the developers are giving all their attention to the new game.”

“Nice! I like the way you think. I approached jobs the same way during my thieving days.”

“How so?”

“Take museums for example,” Selina began. “Obviously, the contracted jobs were for higher-value items. They were the most heavily guarded exhibits on the floor, making it tougher to lift them. But the smaller exhibits in other areas of the museum were easier to access in most cases. Sure, I’d take the occasional high-paying contract, but I mostly stole things I liked or could sell for a nice profit from the less secure areas. I did well, too, until the Dark Knight caught on.”

“Well, he is the World’s Greatest Detective,” Jake replied. Hesitating for a moment, he asked, “So, what exactly is there between you two, if anything?”

“Jealous?” Selina teased.

“No, just… sizing up my potential competition,” Jake said with a lopsided grin.

“Fair enough. To be honest, our relationship is strictly professional at this point in time. Oh, we’ve tried a committed relationship a few times over the years, but it was just too much. We had to juggle emotions, communicating, and the constant dangers of our missions. Sooner or later, it always broke down, and we swore we would never try a romantic relationship again, at least not while we were still in the crime-fighting business. Still, I can say with all honesty there’s nobody I trust more than him.”

“That’s what you need in that line of work,” Jake nodded.

“Anyway, I digress. My point is that you have a knack and a genuine interest in computer programming. Why don’t you focus on that? Make that your area of study going forward.”

“I guess… though I haven’t even begun to think of how that can work for my career down the road…”

“There are plenty of outlets for that! Crime and crime fighting are both becoming more technologically advanced, so many police forces and security companies will pay hackers big money. They need someone to hack their systems and expose weaknesses in a controlled environment.”

“Huh… I never thought of that,” Jake replied. “Guess I’ve been so focused on hacking for profit and fun without getting caught, that I didn’t even consider legal hacking.”

“See? You’ve got all the capability you could want. You just needed a little shove in the right direction,” Selina said, tousling his hair a bit.

“Thanks,” Jake grinned, kissing her on the forehead. “So… are we ever gonna see each other again after tonight?”

Selina grimaced, knowing this question couldn’t be avoided. “Jake, as much as I’d love for this to become a regular thing, it just wouldn’t be fair.”

“Wouldn’t be fair? What do you mean?”

“Come on, I live a dangerous life! Every night could be my last; hell, tonight almost was! If I lived a normal, quiet life, I’d love nothing more than to come home to a sweet guy like you every night. But not knowing if I’ll come home? Jake, I couldn’t put you through that day after day. I’m sorry, but it’s better this way.”

Jake sighed. “I guess that makes sense. Still, I’d be willing to brave it for a shot with you, Selina. I’m not gonna lie, I’ve never been more attracted to a woman in my life, and it’s not just your rockin’ body! You’re smart, fearless, and damn, that sharp wit! Even if it’s just a temporary thing, I’m more than happy to try to make something work between us.”

“Damn, you aren’t making this easy… ok, tell you what. Just give me your phone number, and I’ll take a few weeks to keep an eye on things and make sure there isn’t any heat or threat of revenge from Penguin’s gang. Once I’m in the clear, I’ll contact you. I’m not gonna lie, this probably won’t develop into an actual stable relationship, and I want to be upfront about that. I’d love for it to happen, but it’s just not realistic. Does that sound ok?”

Smiling, Jake grabbed Selina’s phone from the nightstand and programmed his number into it. “Done.”

Pulling him in for another long kiss, Selina whispered, “You are one-of-a-kind, Jake Thompkins.”

“Not so bad, yourself.” As she reached to turn off the lights, he felt compelled to ask once more, “You’re sure you aren’t worried? Ya know, about that condom thing?”

Throwing a look over her shoulder, Selina deadpanned, “Do I look worried?”

*****

For the next three weeks, life went about as normal for Selina, training with the Batman Family and going out on patrol. There was one halfhearted attempt at payback from some of Penguin’s goons, but nothing like when Batman foiled one of his big plans. Whether behind bars or out free, Oswald Cobblepot had bigger fish to fry than Selina Kyle. Things seemed to be going very smoothly for her… until she went for her annual checkup.

“Doctor Thompkins?” she whispered, tapping on the window.

“Ah, there you are, Selina,” Leslie replied, opening the window for her. “Please, come in. I just closed up for the night.”

“Thanks.”

“Got the results of your blood work back. Everything on your physical checks out as normal, though there is one little thing I found. You might want to sit down.”

“What’s up?” she asked, taking a seat.

“Selina… you’re pregnant.”

Her jaw dropped in stunned silence for several long seconds. “Pregnant?!” she finally eked out.

“Yes, indeed. There is no doubt about it.” Leslie placed a gentle hand on her shoulder in comfort. “Make no mistake, this is a wonderful, joyous thing that has happened, but it is going to change everything about your life. If I know Bruce, there’s no way he’ll ever let you back out on patrol in your current state.”

“I’d like to see him try to stop me,” she snorted.

“Selina, don’t make me intervene,” Leslie scolded her. “I will give an official doctor’s order if I must.”

“Fine… I’ll talk to Bruce tonight.”

“So, have you and he started things up again?” Leslie inquired.

“Oh, um… no,” Selina replied, feeling a sensation of dread wash over her at the direction the conversation was taking.

“Then I might suggest you talk to Bruce tomorrow. Tonight, you have something more important to take care of. You need to tell the father.”

“I… I don’t plan to tell him.”

“What? Why not?”

“It was… just a one-time fling. No emotions involved,” she lied. “It’s not my place to turn both our lives upside-down over this.”

“It’s not your place to take the decision away from him!” Leslie replied. “Oh, and don’t think I’m fooled by your ‘no emotions’ line. I know you, Selina. You’ve never let just anyone get that close to you. Whoever this mystery man is, he must have had something special about him. You both made the decision that led to this, yes? You both consented. Thus, the decision of how to raise this child rests with both of you.”

“Yeah, I guess he is pretty special,” Selina admitted. “But Leslie, if you knew who he was, I know you’d agree with my decision.”

“Try me,” Leslie smirked.

Looking up, Selina knew her confident facial expression was cracking. Her lip began to quiver and tears began to well up in her eyes.

“Don’t make me tell you, Leslie. You don’t want to know. You’d hate me.”

“Selina, you are one of my dearest friends. There is nothing you could tell me that would change that.”

In her heart, Selina knew this, but logic told her the complete opposite was true in this situation. It was Leslie’s only grandson, after all! How could she possibly forgive Selina for seducing Jake? Then again, what if the situation was reversed? Selina knew she would want to know the truth, no matter what. With a heavy sigh, she gathered her courage and told the truth.

“Leslie… Jake is the father.”

Blinking twice, she replied, “My Jake?”

“Yes.”

Leslie paced the room for a few moments, processing this information. “When? How?” she finally asked.

Selina began to recount the events of Halloween night, Jake’s fight with Hailey, her encountering him in trouble on the rooftop, and his courageous efforts to help subdue The Penguin. She did spare Leslie the specifics of their night together, but when asked, did admit to using a condom, which of course failed. All the while, Leslie remained calm and contemplative, which only served to further unnerve Selina, who was expecting to be murdered at any moment.

“So… you seduced my grandson.”

“Yes. I’m so sorry you had to find out like this, Leslie.”

“Tell me the truth, Selina. How do you really feel about Jake?”

“I mean… you know me, Leslie. I’ve never been the kind of gal to be vulnerable or depend on any man. Hell, I’m just a hot piece of ass to nearly every single guy I’ve ever met in my life. And then, Jake comes along, talking to me like I’m a human being, more interested in what I have to say than what I look like. Even when I caught him sneaking a peek at me, it didn’t feel like he was undressing me with his eyes. It was more like… he couldn’t see me as anything other than this girl-next-door type. Guys have done that before, but never with sincerity. I’ve got a sensitive bullshit meter, and I got no bullshit from Jake.”

“I raised that boy well, then,” Leslie chuckled.

“My point is… I could never have seen myself falling for one man. I’m just not secure enough to be that vulnerable with my emotions. But Jake managed to break through, even if only a little. I used to think the only man I could ever fall in love with would be the one man I can’t have: Batman. After meeting Jake, I don’t know what to think. He’s such a sweet, genuine guy, even if he’s a bit young, maybe has some maturing to do. If there were ever a chance of retiring and having a quiet, normal life… he’s exactly the kind of guy I’d want to be with.”

“I see… Selina, as Jake’s grandmother, I am very concerned with this entire situation. Your poor judgment is quite astounding, as is my grandson’s. Both of you ought to know better. Still, I stand by my previous statement. He deserves to know the truth. Much as I may be disappointed with both of your decisions, he is a grown man. And if I know him, he will want to do the right thing.”

“Leslie, he has his entire life ahead of him! I’d feel awful trapping him like that!”

“So, don’t trap him,” Leslie replied. “Instead, might I recommend…”

*****

Jake’s pulse raced as he bounded up the stairs of the student union. Against all hope, he had resigned himself to never seeing Selina Kyle again. Then, three weeks to the day after Halloween, a text had come through asking him to be on his favorite rooftop that night. As he reached the top of the stairwell, Jake peeked his head out the door and into the night air.

“Selina? Selina, you there?”

Hearing no reply, he slipped out onto the roof and propped the door with a stone as before. Jake looked around for a moment and checked the time.

“Huh… it’s nine o’clock. Where is she?”

Suddenly, he felt a cord of some kind whip around his waist, flinging him back against the door to the stairwell. In the course of two seconds, he went from calm, to terrified, to overjoyed.

“Hey there, stud. Come here often?” a sultry voice asked.

Opening his eyes, he now stood face-to-face with the woman of his dreams.

“Selina!”

After a quick, yet passionate kiss in greeting, Jake’s mind began running a mile a minute.

“Oh wow… Selina, so much has happened! I-I met with my advisor, changed my major, and actually made a plan for finding work-”

“Jake, that’s great, but… we need to talk.”

“Oh… ok? What’s going on?”

The pair sat on the roof, their backs against the stairwell building. Selina removed her helmet, allowing better eye contact with the father of her child.

“Jake, something incredible has happened,” Selina began. “I’m… I’m pregnant. And you’re the father.”

Jake sat in silence for a few seconds, unsure of what he had heard. Eventually, Selina began to get worried.

“Jake? Say something,” she prodded.

“I’m… what?! I’m gonna be a daddy?!” Jake exclaimed jumping to his feet and running around in circles. “Holy shit! We made a little person, and I’m gonna be a daddy!”

Selina beamed, laughing at his excited celebration. “That’s right, Jake. You’re gonna be a daddy,” she sighed, relieved to see his reaction.

“Oh my god, I’m… holy shit. I’m gonna be a father!” Jake realized, the dread of responsibility setting in. “I… I’m a stupid college kid! I don’t know how to be a father! Holy shit, I’m so screwed-”

“Jake, relax!” Selina giggled, wrapping him in a hug.

“I’m sorry. It’s just such a shock. But oh my god, we’re going to raise a kid together!” Seeing her hesitate, he asked, “We are going to raise our kid together… right?”

Cupping his face in her hands, Selina replied, “Only if it’s what you want. Jake, I almost didn’t tell you. I wanted to run away and raise the child on my own because… I didn’t think it was right to turn your life upside-down.”

“But this is our kid, Selina! I’d be a pretty sorry excuse of a man if I didn’t do the right thing.”

“I know. That’s exactly what your grandmother said.”

“Wait, Nana knows?!”

“She discovered it on my blood work during my checkup,” Selina explained. “She was disappointed at first, but convinced me you’d want to do the right thing.”

“Well, that’s true. Old-fashioned as it may seem, I was taught that, if you get a girl pregnant, you marry her and do your part to raise the kid. It’s that simple.”

“So, you really want to-”

“Get married? Get a job? Build a future together? You bet your ass. I mean, it’s a shame about college, but the semester’s almost over. I just won’t re-enroll for the spring…”

“Jake, you’re a wonderful guy, but you’re also a dunce,” Selina giggled.

“Huh?”

“You are not dropping out of college. End of discussion.”

“But… what about the whole ‘doing my part’ thing?” Jake asked.

“Jake, I’m Selina Kyle, remember? I’m not just Catwoman; I’m also a wealthy Gotham socialite! We’ll be just fine financially until you graduate.”

“Oh… good point.”

“Honestly, you men. Where would you be without your better halves?” she giggled.

“So, Miss Wealthy Gotham Socialite… what does this mean for your career as Catwoman?”

Sighing, Selina replied, “Likely over. No way in hell is Batman letting me out on patrol while I’m pregnant, and I doubt I could convince him to let me come back with a little one at home.”

“Never say never,” Jake winked. “Might take some doing, but I think we could convince him.”

“Wait, you’re saying you want me to go back on patrol?!”

“Duh! First of all, Gotham needs you,” Jake said in his Batman voice. “But more than that, it’s a part of who you are. You said you wouldn’t feel right taking college away from me, right? Well, I wouldn’t feel right taking Catwoman away from you! I know it’s dangerous, but that’s not going to run me off, not after everything that’s happened between us.”

Selina sighed. “Dammit, you are just the sweetest. Ok, I’m going to go and talk to the boss tomorrow; we’ll see what he says, then go from there. Sound like a plan?”

“Yep. Now, just one last order of business.”

“Oh?”

Taking a deep breath, Jake went down on one knee. “Selina Kyle, mother of our child… will you marry me?”

Feigning indignation, she replied, “Hold up. I save your life, you repay me by knocking me up, and now you expect me to marry you?! I mean, there’s so many hotties out there, and you want me to ignore all of them for you?!”

“That’s the deal,” Jake grinned.

Pulling him to his feet, Selina planted a forceful, passionate kiss on his lips.

“Hell yes, that’s a deal.”

*****

“Bruce?” Selina asked, creeping down the stairs to the Batcave.

“Selina,” he replied, not looking up from his computer.

“Hey, how goes it? Nice night tonight,” she said nervously.

A pause, then, “Did you come all the way down here just to make small talk?”

“Ah… no.”

“You’re flustered, Selina. Pretty rare to see you like this. What’s going on?”

“Yeah, um… here’s the thing. Something came up during my checkup with Dr. Thompkins last week. Something big.”

“How big are we talking?”

“As in… pregnancy big.”

Another long pause, then, “Congratulations.”

“Thank you,” Selina replied.

“Who’s the lucky man? Dick? Tim?”

“No. It’s actually Jake, Dr. Thompkins’ grandson.”

Bruce paused once more, annoying Selina to no end. She swore he was the most impossible to read person on the face of the planet!

“A bit younger than I’d expect from you, Selina,” he finally replied. “He must be something special.”

“He is, actually,” she grinned. “I know he’s young, but… god, he’s so genuine and real, no bullshit about him. It’s such a breath of fresh air.”

“Unlike me,” Bruce deadpanned.

“That’s not what I said, Bruce.”

“It’s ok. It is true, after all. I’ve never been the easiest person to live with. Alfred would be the first to tell you that.”

“Bruce, if we could’ve made it work-”

“We would have. We tried three times, but it wasn’t good enough. I’m fine with that. You deserve to find someone you can make it work with.”

“So… you’re not mad or jealous?”

“No. I’m Batman.”

Selina snorted a laugh at this; sometimes Bruce did have a dry, twisted sense of humor about him.

“We are going to miss you, Selina.”

Knowing this topic couldn’t be avoided, she replied, “I’m not going anywhere, Bruce.”

“You think I’m going to let you back out on the streets in your condition?” Bruce replied, trying to end the discussion quickly.

“Oh, please! I’m pregnant, not handicapped!” she fired back. “Look, I know I need to take time off until the baby comes, but I’ll be back as soon as I can. Besides, you of all people know how… fit I am,” she purred suggestively.

Sighing, Bruce stood from his chair and faced Selina. “This has nothing to do with your physical capabilities, and everything to do with what you’re about to become.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked. Even though his cowl was down, Bruce’s eyes still shimmered with intense determination; sometimes, he could be even more intimidating than Batman.

“Selina, you’re about to become the most incredible thing on the face of this earth: a mother. I would give anything to have my mother back, but I can’t, and I’ll be damned if I play any role in putting your child in that same situation.”

Holding firm, Selina replied, “Bruce, I know you of all people know too much about this, so I respect your opinion. Believe me, I do. But ultimately, the decision isn’t yours. Jake and I have discussed this at length. He doesn’t want me to give up being Catwoman, and neither do I.”

“It’s no longer about you,” he growled, becoming more frustrated. “Responsible parents don’t have the luxury of thrill-seeking.”

Keeping her face stoic, Selina strode up to Bruce casually. As she ran a finger along his cheek, she drew her hand back and slapped him across the face.

“Fuck you, Bruce. How dare you suggest I’m doing all this for the thrills? If that were true, I’d have stuck to thieving. Hell, running away from you was always more thrilling than running beside you.” As he was about to speak, she waved him off. “Not finished. I may not have quite the past of you or Dick, but I joined your team after my acquittal for one reason only: to help you protect Gotham. Is it fun beating up Penguin’s goons? You bet your ass it is! But that is not why I do this. I do this because Gotham is my home, and I want to keep my home safe. The best chance of that happening is to work with you, all of you, as a team. If I were in it for thrills, there would be no team.”

“Be that as it may, you’d still be putting your child in danger of becoming an orphan every night.”

“So does every member of the GCPD,” Selina countered.

“We’re not the GCPD,” Bruce replied forcefully. “When Scarecrow shows up with a fuel truck of fear toxin, what does the GCPD do? They form a perimeter and wait for us. When Riddler captures a city councilman and locks him in a deathtrap, what does the GCPD do? They form a perimeter and wait for us. When Joker does anything, anything at all, what does the GCPD do? I think you know the answer. The point isn’t that the GCPD is worthless; rather, they’re the bravest bunch of men and women I know. All of them would run headfirst into those scenarios without a second thought. But they aren’t equipped to handle the worst the psychos of this city can throw at them. We are. Our purpose is to subject ourselves to those unique, mortal dangers so the GCPD doesn’t have to.”

“Which further proves my point: you need me.”

*****

Jake’s breathing tightened as he walked up the driveway. Here he was, at the most famous mansion on the east coast, expecting to knock and be let in. He had to be out of his mind! Still, he was trying to listen to his instincts more, and his gut told him that he needed to do this. Approaching the massive front door, he took notice of the lion-shaped knocker and tapped the door five times. Though he settled in for a long wait, knowing it was a massive house, the door opened after only about ten seconds, revealing a tall, balding gentleman with a thin, gray moustache.

“May I help you, young man?”

“Yes, my name is Jake Thompkins. I need to speak with Bruce Wayne and Selina Kyle right away. I know I haven’t been invited, but it’s important.”

The gentleman cocked an eyebrow at this. “I see. Unfortunately, Master Wayne is quite busy and cannot be seen without an appointment. As for Miss Kyle, I am uncertain as to why you would search for her here.”

Jake grinned, having expected as such. “I know she’s here to meet with Bruce Wayne… or rather, with Batman.”

He chuckled at this. “Oh, now that is quite droll. I have served the Wayne household for over four decades, and I can assure you that there are no bats here, certainly no Batmen.”

Jake just stared the man in the eyes, saying, “I figured it all out. Wayne is Batman, and Batman is Wayne. I need to speak with him.”

Standing aside after a moment’s pause, he said, “Very well, do come in. I am Alfred, Master Wayne’s loyal attendant.”

“Thank you, Alfred,” Jake replied, stepping inside. “I appreciate-”

“Silence, if you please.”

Jake twirled around, finding himself on the business end of a pump-action shotgun. Alfred was so smooth that he had closed the front door and drawn the weapon from the umbrella rack hidden in the corner in one swift motion.

“As I am sure you are aware, Master Wayne abhors firearms, as well as any use of deadly force. I, on the other hand, am a former agent of Her Majesty’s Secret Service, and have no qualms about ending your life to protect my family. Now, you have precisely ten seconds to explain to me why I should not do this.”

For a split second, Jake’s mind went blank; looking death in the face tends to do that to most people. Though he had braved the thugs on Halloween night, a retired British spy with a shotgun was another beast entirely. His mouth started to dry out as he searched for the words he needed to say.

“Five seconds. My, my… you must not wish to live.”

Jake blurted out, “You don’t want to kill the father of Selina Kyle’s baby!”

Alfred recoiled a bit, yet kept his weapon trained on Jake. “What did you say?”

“Selina Kyle… she’s pregnant. And I’m the father.”

Eying him warily, Alfred asked, “What did you say your name was, young man?”

“Jake. Jake Thompkins.”

“Of course! You are Leslie’s grandson!” he realized. Putting the shotgun back in its hiding spot, Alfred continued, “Please accept my deepest apologies, Master Thompkins.”

“No apology necessary,” Jake replied with a nervous laugh. “You do guard the biggest secret in all of Gotham, after all.”

“Quite. How did you uncover such a secret? Did Leslie tell you?”

“No. Until a couple of weeks ago, I still thought my Nana hated Batman as a dangerous vigilante. It’s a long story, but I figured it out on my own.”

“Indeed. Leslie did say her grandson was intelligent and resourceful… ah, but you said you wished to speak with Master Wayne, yes? This way.”

*****

“I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again-”

“We’re arguing in circles, Selina,” Bruce cut her off. “You’re out; it’s for the best. I’m sorry, but my mind is made up.”

“Master Wayne, you really are your father’s son. As stubborn as a mule,” Alfred chuckled as he descended the stairs to the Batcave.

“Alfred, and… who is this?” Bruce asked, seeing a young man following behind his butler.

“Jake?!” Selina gasped.

“Yes, may I introduce Master Jake Thompkins?” Alfred said, ushering Jake in.

“So, you’re the one,” Bruce said, eying Jake warily. “That will be all, Alfred.”

“Of course,” Alfred said with a slight bow. Turning to leave, he continued, “Oh, and Miss Kyle? My congratulations to you both.”

“Thank you,” she replied, distracted by Jake’s sudden appearance.

As Alfred took his leave, Bruce began to prowl about the cave as if he was stalking Jake. At last, he asked, “What are you doing here?”

“Selina said she was going to tell her boss about her pregnancy. I knew she by herself wouldn’t be able to convince you to let her stay on the team, so I came to help,” Jake replied coolly.

“More to the point, how did you know to come here?” Glancing at Selina, he asked, “Did you give me away?”

“Never!” Selina insisted.

“She had nothing to do with it,” Jake agreed. “I figured it out on my own, Mr. Wayne.”

A long pause, then, “It’s Bruce, if that’s all right with you. You are family to one of my oldest friends, after all.”

“Of course,” Jake replied, still refusing to relax.

Bruce continued, “You say you figured it out on your own. How?”

“It’s a long story.”

“I’ve got time,” Bruce replied.

“Ok, then. As Selina knows, I have a bit of a knack for computers and video games. It was about two years ago, I think. I was watching a news report of some big announcement Wayne Enterprises was making, which, of course, I have no idea what it was.”

“To be fair, neither do I,” Bruce deadpanned.

“Anyway, I remember that the announcement was given in front of Wayne Tower, and during the press conference, I noticed a large number of Sony trucks driving around back to the delivery area. Normally, that wouldn’t look suspicious, except that they all were trucks marked specifically as part of Sony’s PlayStation division. So, it got me wondering what Wayne Enterprises would want with such a large order of PlayStations. That, of course, led me to do a little digging.”

“And what did you find?” Bruce asked, smiling on the inside.

“Hacking into the records of the delivery company, I found a huge order made by Wayne Enterprises for PlayStation 2 systems, four truckloads worth. That struck me as incredibly odd for two reasons. First, the sheer number of the systems was so out of the ordinary; Wayne Enterprises isn’t involved in the gaming industry at all. But more importantly, the orders were for PlayStation 2 systems. Those consoles are practically obsolete! Sony doesn’t make ‘em anymore; both the PlayStations 3 and 4 outperform them in every capacity. Something wasn’t adding up.

“Then, about a month later, I finally pieced it all together. Ever since he first appeared in Gotham, I’ve been obsessed with Batman. He’s what this city has been craving for ages: a vigilante savior, turning back the tide of crime and giving criminals something to fear. So, when a news report of Batman apprehending a would-be mugger just two blocks from my home comes on, what do I do? Being a stupid college kid, I go check out the scene. Once the police were done with everything, I happened across the coolest thing I had ever seen in my life: one of Batman’s batarangs. It was broken and unusable, but I took it home anyway and analyzed it. The results were shocking, to say the least.

“After opening it up, I saw that the batarang could be controlled remotely. It was a combination of simple pieces of technology that I had never realized could be used in such a way. But the kicker was when I recognized several of the components as parts directly from the inner workings of a PlayStation 2. It finally made sense why Wayne Enterprises would order those consoles in bulk: to strip them for parts. They were making Batman’s weaponry. At first, I figured Batman had to be the chief of security for the company or something like that. But then, I heard you giving a speech on TV, Bruce. It was only for the briefest of moments, but I heard you slip up. When a reporter made an outrageous accusation of some sort, your voice got deep and intimidating. That’s when I realized the truth. Your jovial playboy persona is your mask for the public. The Batman… that’s your true self.”

Bruce pondered this for several seconds before saying, “I can see why you’re enamored with him, Selina. He’s almost as good a detective as I am.”

“Emphasis on the almost, please,” Jake chuckled. “You’re still the World’s Greatest Detective by far.”

“Well, this has all been fun, but it’s done nothing to change my mind,” Bruce said. “You two are about to be parents. Your priority is your child. End of discussion.”

“Then she’ll do it without you,” Jake replied.

“You’d let her do something so reckless?” Bruce asked incredulously.

“You’ve known Selina Kyle longer than I have. Do you really think any man lets her do anything?” Jake countered.

Bruce huffed at this. “No, I suppose not.”

“Damn straight,” Selina chimed in.

“We all know Selina will be Catwoman again, be it with you or without you, Bruce. It’s her calling, and I couldn’t stop her if I wanted to. So, with that in mind, are you still going to keep her off the team, knowing that it would put her in even more danger on the streets of Gotham?” Jake asked.

Bruce paced for at least a minute, weighing the pros and cons. At last, he sighed, “I really hate being undermined, you know.”

“It’s part of being on a team,” Selina replied.

“Fine. You can come back to the team… on one condition.”

“That being?” Selina asked.

“You two need to take several years away for yourselves.” As Jake and Selina were about to protest, Bruce waved them off. “Think about it. You’re not just about to be parents, but you’re going to be newlyweds at the same time. You have to learn how to be parents while also learning how to be husband and wife. It will be challenging and exhausting, even with love and commitment. The last thing you need is the additional stress of Selina being out on patrol. Take some time, get your family on track, let Jake get his degree, hell, have a second kid if that’s what you want. When the time is right for you to come back, you’ll know.”

Thinking a moment, Jake replied, “I’m ok with that.”

“I suppose that’s fair,” Selina agreed.

“Good.” Sitting back down at the Batcomputer, Bruce asked, “So, when’s the wedding?”

“Soon,” Selina grinned. “We talked about it last night, and we’re just going to have a small private ceremony. Still, we’re going to want you there. You, Dick, Tim, and Barbara.”

“And Nana, of course,” Jake chimed in.

“I may be rich, but that doesn’t mean I enjoy these formalities,” Bruce snorted.

“Yeah, but you do pull off the tuxedo look like nobody else,” Selina purred.

With a dramatic sigh, Bruce said, “Fine. We’ll be there.”

“Thank you, Bruce,” Selina replied, sauntering up and kissing him on the cheek. “Really, thank you for everything. You guys are my family; I don’t ever want to lose you.”

As Jake and Selina began to ascend the stairs to leave, Bruce called out to Jake, “You had best be good to her. If you aren’t, I’ll know.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Jake threw over his shoulder.

*****

Five years later

“Connection established. Oracle and Infiltrator are online.”

“Copy that, Oracle. I’m entering the warehouse now.”

“Roger that. Be careful, Selina.”

“No sweat! These dumbasses won’t know what hit ‘em.”

“Just remember the goal of the mission: Penguin’s contact,” Jake chimed in.

“Yes, dear,” Selina sneered with a giggle.

“That’s Infiltrator to you,” he shot back.

“Ok, calm down, old-married-couple,” Oracle said. “Keep us posted, Selina.”

“Will do. Just keep an eye out for any surprises they may have for me.”

“It’s not easy, is it? Seeing her out in the field.”

“Yeah, but she loves it, Barb,” Jake answered. “And she’s so damn good at it. Doesn’t stop me from worrying, though.”

“I’m the same way with Dick,” Barbara replied. “I think that’s why I’ve come to love running operations from the Batcave even more than being in the field.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” Jake nodded. “We’re their eyes and ears, helping to keep them safe from the unseen threats.”

“Yep! Now if only I could move my legs,” she deadpanned, eliciting a laugh from both of them.

“Oracle, I’ve reached the staging area leading to the docks. You’re not going to believe this. Penguin’s secret financier is here.”

“Seriously?! We’ve been tracking this guy for months! Who is it?”

“Good old Rolland Daggett.”

“Finally! It’s about time we got some dirt on him; Bruce has been trying to bring him down for years.”

“Oracle, see if you can hack into the warehouse security cameras. We may not be able to keep Daggett there, but we can at least get evidence of his deal with Penguin for the GCPD,” Jake said.

“Good idea.” After a few seconds of frantic typing, she said, “Ok, I have access to the live feed. Still working on gaining control.”

Bringing up a split-screen of the security cameras, Jake said, “Selina, hostiles approaching your position. Find concealment now!”

“Shit! They’ve spotted me!”

Chaos began to erupt as the goons shouted for reinforcements. Penguin and Daggett immediately started for their respective escape routes.

“Oracle, Daggett’s gonna get away!” Jake warned.

“Almost… got it! I’m in control of the cameras!” A few frantic seconds of typing, and she managed to snap a freeze-frame of Daggett and Penguin together. “Say cheese, Rolland,” Barbara sneered.

“Nice job. Selina, what’s your status?”

“I’m pinned down! These assholes are more heavily armed than we expected and… oh, shit! They’ve installed turrets in the ceiling!”

“Find cover! I’ll do what I can!”

“Just sent a distress signal to Robin. His ETA is three minutes,” Barbara said. “I’ll keep an eye on the cameras. Infiltrator, see if you can access the turret controls and turn the tide in our favor.”

“Already working on it,” Jake said, furiously analyzing the data on his screen. “Shit, they’ve got this encrypted as all hell. But… there! They didn’t encrypt the Wi-Fi! That’s my way in.”

“Just hurry!” Selina shouted, the sounds of gunfire echoing through the communications line.

“Four guns, and they’re all on separate grids, allowing them to operate independently. Ok, I think I’ve got control of one of ‘em. Here we go!”

Flipping a switch next to his keyboard, Jake activated a gaming controller hardwired to the Batcomputer. After a quick test to confirm which turret he had control of, Jake used the feed from Barbara’s security camera hack to plan his tactics. Before anyone in the warehouse knew what had happened, Jake’s turret had turned on one of the other guns and blasted it to smithereens. Onscreen, he saw that part of Selina’s cover was close to crumbling under the assault from one of the other turrets, making it Jake’s next target. But before he could eliminate the final gun, the goons realized something was up and destroyed the turret Jake had control of.

“Shit! They shot me down!”

“Already on it,” Barbara said. “There, got access to the final turret. Take this!”

With expert precision, Barbara turned the gun on a large net of crates suspended above the warehouse floor. After she fired off a few rounds, at least a dozen of the crates came crashing to the floor, taking out about half the armed goons. This allowed Selina to make her move and disappear into the shadows. From there, it was child’s play for her to start picking off the thugs one-by-one. By the time Robin finally arrived, all the hostiles had been subdued.

“Mission accomplished. Good work, everyone,” Barbara said.

“Thanks for the assist, you two,” Selina said. “See ya at home, stud.”

“Looking forward to it. Infiltrator, signing off.” Tossing down his headset, Jake sighed, “That woman is insatiable. All I really want is a good night’s sleep.”

“Aw, were you up late last night?” Barbara teased. “Poor baby. Being kept up by the most beautiful woman in all of Gotham!”

“For your information, it was a crying child that kept me up last night,” Jake laughed.

“Aw, I’m sorry. Which one?”

“Both of ‘em. Helena is having trouble sleeping; she’s scared because she starts Pre-K next week. And baby Leslie has an inner ear infection.”

“Yeah, that sucks. But I have to say – fatherhood suits you.”

“Thanks,” Jake grinned. “Goodnight, Barb.”

“Take care. Oh, and take tomorrow off. You and Selina deserve some quality time together.”

“Roger that!” Jake agreed as he left.

Barbara spent some time monitoring the situation at the warehouse as the GCPD arrived. Though Penguin and Daggett had gotten away, she managed to recover enough footage from the security cameras to tie both of them to the scene. After she forwarded the footage anonymously to Commissioner Gordon, a secure phone call came in.

“This is Oracle.”

“How did our new recruit do?”

“Damn fine job. He’s a natural; very cool under pressure.”

“As I expected.”

“You just think you know everything,” Barbara giggled.

“If that were true, what would I need you and Infiltrator for?”

“Touché.”

“We’ll reevaluate in a couple of months. If he proves himself, I might want to relocate you out to Blüdhaven.”

“Ooh, it’d be nice to give Nightwing a hand.”

“Again, we’ll reevaluate. Batman out.”

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